Well, here I am with another chapter! Last one was pretty low key in terms of everything, which is completely fine! After all, not everything needs to be doom and gloom! Anyway, I'll write this and maybe one more for Watching before I move back to Bisca's Journey or Rising. Also, its yearly inspection time at my job so I'll be working…a lot. That last week will probably be 60-70 hours and seven days straight so if I'm quiet for a few weeks, just too much work!
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!
Chapter Eight: Random Realities
Laxus Dreyar let his hand momentarily hover over the green button. Giving a sidelong glance at Levy, he knew the short script mage had become the unofficial sensor for the guild. "Think it will be a decent timeline?"
"Can't be any more insane than that last one with Mister Torgue and the cereal" Pantherlily stated, the small cat standing on the table near Levy and the cube.
"Maybe it will be Erza in the shower…naked" Grinning, Bicslow grew excited at the possibility while rubbing his hands in a sinister manner. Unfortunately for him, Erza heard the statement as her gaze narrowed. Throwing a hammer at the doll user, it crashed into his helmet, spilling him to the floor while smoke rose from the crime scene.
"Nice throw, Erza" Laki commented.
"Thank you. My aim was true and filled with justice" Retaking her seat next to Natsu, she sat with knightly purpose before brushing her scarlet locks away.
Natsu and several others gulped, remembering how terrifying the beautiful redhead could be.
"Well…uh…let's see what happens" Pushing the green button with a firm hand, the cube powered up once more as lines of blue raced across the exterior surface. The lenses pulsed, then flared as a new image sprawled across the far wall of the guild.
Several rolling hills covered in forest lined the horizon while four tributaries of a river flowed through several of the lower valleys. Sunlight fell downward, the day ideal as a moderately sized city came into view.
Settled across both banks of the river and a central peninsula with several structures standing ten to fifteen stories, the city appeared to be a moderately successful center with industry, commercial river shipping, and sprawling neighborhoods of homes.
Three major bridges crossed the forked river, the roadways flowing outward as numerous vehicles drove into the distance along the hiway. Toward the north, a long train appeared around the curvature of another hill, the cargo cars hauled by several sleek engines. Following the tracks toward the city, the rumbling train passed a large sign, proclaiming the location of Pikeville, Kentucky.
"Looks like a normal city. Huh…that same flag from New York and that monster turkey is there. The one with the red and white stripes with stars" Alzack pointed out as several flags fluttered from the flagpoles of several yards.
"So, another region of the United States maybe? I just hope nothing terrible happens with monsters" Bisca added with her own comment, the wife and mother preparing to shield Asuka from all terrible visions.
Sidewalks were filled with people, a healthy mixture going about their business as a cargo ship departed from the left side of the river, laden down with goods. Moderate vehicular traffic flowed, some halted at red lights while more pedestrians crossed the streets.
Numerous cafes and riverside restaurants along the central peninsula were busy as patrons enjoyed delicious lunches or frothing drinks while music played.
Suddenly, a silver, spinning disk pushed through some clouds, the whisps of white flaring away from the strange craft. Coming to a hover above the city, the undercarriage glowed a dull green while other lights came from narrow windows along the disk's rim. The top was bulbous and curved like a bump while the sunlight reflected off the metal in a near perfect sheen.
"The hell is that!? Another alien space ship!?" Max asked with a shout, the sand user pointing at the image.
"Looks like it. I just hope it's not some pirate warlord like that Boros fellow. Perhaps they're peaceful?" Wendy sincerely hoped, the young woman believing that some aliens had to be good.
"I just hope they don't have tentacles or six eyes. Gross" Lucy blanched, the blonde's mind racing with possible horrors.
The disk like craft hummed as it descended toward a moderate plaza lined with several bars, restaurants, stores and food trucks. Finally settling on an expanse of grass near a central gazebo, the humming stopped as an opening appeared in the craft.
Hundreds of people were taking photos or recording, their words of alarm and fear palpable.
"It's first contact! Actual aliens!" A man ranted, his phone recording everything.
"Sir! Stand back! Everybody please stand back!" Several officers roared, the fear they had in their voices nearly cracking as the red and blue lights flashed on their nearby patrol cars.
Several women pushed their children behind them, warning them to run if things went violent.
Finally…the ramp lowered, the bathing light diminishing as two individuals appeared.
They were tall and slender with grayish, dull skin partially covered by clothing. The heads were large and nose-less while the eyes were big and black. Narrow, thin lips adorned the area around their mouths, while very weak chins completed their facial structure.
One stepped forward, his attire consisting of blue coveralls, a red shirt with the words 'Space Chicks are Easy' in gold glittering letters, and a wide brimmed hat portraying some sort of squiggled lines.
The other alien wore heavy, brown boots, his own blue pants covered in a sort of mud or dirt. His shirt was blue with an image of a gray skinned alien standing on the fallen body of some sort of lizard. 'The Gray South shall rise again' flared in big black letters below the image while another hat with the symbol of a bottle adorned his smooth head.
"Hey ya'll! We're just stopping by for some hooch! Come on Clebbus, let's go get some of that fine Earth whiskey!"
"Hell yeah! Gonna get me some of that corn mash, aint that right Jebba?" Running toward the nearest store with a hoot and holler, the aliens rushed past several alarmed citizens.
"Uh…what?" Lucy asked, the woman relieved they weren't horrific looking, but extremely confused.
Cana grinned in complete understanding. "Guess aliens like booze too. What a wonderful fact!" Still smiling, she drank some beer.
"Huh…they talk like Gray" Natsu commented.
"I don't talk like that! Are you deaf? Or just have ash in your ears?" Shouting louder, Gray glared over at Natsu.
"Every time you talk, I cant understand your idiot accent, dumbass!"
Erza cleared her throat, the woman's stern gaze enough to halt the bubbling rivalry. "Natsu. Gray. Please remain calm…or else"
"Moron"
"Stripper"
The aliens were snatching bottles of whiskey, rum and other dark liquors, simply holding them in their arms as the police walked in and watched while the shopkeeper reached behind his counter for a shotgun.
"Now I dunno where you fella's come from, but your paying for all of that, you hear?"
"Take it easy Mister Sinclair. This is…is weird beyond weird. The government will want to talk with these aliens and killing them could start a war with their species" Resting his hand on the butt of his holstered pistol, the officer expected compliance and Mister Sinclair gave it.
Cleebus and Jebba blinked those big, black eyes at the presence of authority, and the store owner, the two aliens going still for a moment.
"Tarnation! They're on to us, Clebbus!" Running out the back door, the leader dropped a bottle of gin, the blue sapphire a shattering mess.
"HALT! In the name of the law!" One of the police men roared, the duo of officers giving chase.
Running down the alleyway on narrow legs, the two aliens reemerged on the plaza then raced to their ship.
"Damn shoplifters! Don't care if your little gray men or not!" Firing his shotgun at the escaping duo, Sinclair roared as the pellets missed.
Numerous people screamed in fear, running for cover as the store owner cursed.
"Dang nabitt Jebba! I thought you said humans didn't have guns!" Cleebus gasped with a drawl as the two ducked from another searing roar of buckshot.
"They didn't last time our species were here!" Hell, they lived in those fancy castles then!" Opening a bottle as the two hid behind a food truck, Jebba drank deeply. "WOOOOHHHHEEE! THAT'S SOME GOOD HOOCH!" Running into the open as the cops closed in, Jebba and Cleebus rushed up the ramp, the silver material rapidly retreating into the ship.
"DAMN SHOPLIFTING ALIENS!" Firing another blast of his shotgun, Mister Sinclair fumed as the shot pellets bounced off the ship's hull like nothing.
Nearly dropping all their booze while rushing into the central bridge, the two pale, slender aliens dropped into their respective seats.
"Stop on it, Jebba!" Drinking his own bottle, the slender alien strapped in, booze spilling from his mouth as the interior of the ship lit up with buttons, lights and controls. Nearby, several posters of scantily clad aliens covered the walls, their body structure ranging from squid like females, to a three eyed alien with three breasts barely covered. Other posters advertising booze, space trucks, and Mr. Torgue's explosion emporium covered more of the interior structure while opened boxes of space pizza, rotting food and spilt drink stains completed the pig stye of the interior.
"YEEHHHAAWWW!" Pulling up on a control stick, Jebba fudged the controls, sending the ship flying into a nearby building. Cutting through the upper floors as brick and mortar rained down into the street, the alien pilot overcompensated and crashed into another building, causing even more destruction. Plowing through as people screamed, the spinning disk went vertical, then dug a furrow into a nearby road as cars and vehicles crashed in panic.
"Why are all these damn buildings on the sky road!? Gimme some of that whiskey!" Uncorking another bottle, Jebba drank as he tried to pilot.
"How's some laser fer ya, you damn Earth aliens!" Summoning his own controls, Cleebus used an emerging exterior laser cannon to fire at the city, but his aim was terrible. Searing, red light flared into the river, boiling away water before his grunted. "Come on, line her up you sonsofbitches!" Firing again, the laser blast flew into the sky like a lance of fire.
"Dammit Cleebus! Don't go knocking down buildings! We'll need to make another booze run later!" Flying through an office building as he jinked around a police helicopter, the large headed alien drank some more.
"THEY"RE COMPLETE IDIOTS! WORSE THAN NATSU AND GAJEEL COMBINED!" Evergreen shouted, the woman shocked at the sheer stupidity of the aliens.
"Don't lump me in with those morons! Or Natsu!" Gajeel roared out, finding the statement insulting.
"Yeah! Gray's way more of an idiot! He'd fit right in!" Natsu added with a low shout. Getting the middle finger from his rival, the ice mage didn't rise to the bait.
"It's sad. All that technology and these aliens use it in such a wasteful manner" Shaking her head in disappointment, Hisui couldn't understand such wastage.
"I agree. Clearly these two aliens are far too stupid to be allowed such tools. All they seem to do is drink" Turning her gaze toward Cana, Erza scrutinized the brunette.
Slowly sipping from her mug of frothing beer, Cana purposely ignored the stare while humming.
Elfman grinned, his smile mischievous. "Hey, anyone else see that poster for Mister Torgue's Explosion Emporium in the space ship? Awesome"
"NO! SHUT UP ABOUT THAT IDIOT!" Grasping her blonde hair, Lucy unleashed a womanly wail at the mere mention of the name.
Finally flying upright, the flying saucer sped through the sky, leaving the city behind. Highfiving each other, the two big headed, smoothly skinned gray aliens guffawed. "Dang that was eeasy! Who knew these primitives were so dang stupid? Leaving their booze out for the taking? Aint that right, Cleebus?"
"Damn right, Jebba! Nothun but inbred half monkeys down there, haha!" Drinking some more booze, the alien chugged some gin, his gray cheeks filling outward as more alcohol spilt past his narrow lips.
Another space ship pulled up beside the saucer, this one shaped like a large…chicken egg. Suddenly lighting up with an assortment of colors that flared and flashed, the newly arrived ship moved closer as the view pushed past the hull.
Inside the egg ship, two large, six foot tall rabbit aliens sat at the controls, each wearing a sort of bright blue body armor. Ears stretched nearly a foot above their heads, while yellow eyes sat above a pink nose and numerous whiskers. Covered entirely in fur, one of the rabbits hit a button.
"Attention criminals! We're the space rabbit police! Pull over immediately and prepare to be boarded!"
"AWE SHIT CLEEBUS! IT'S THE RABBIT COPS!" Dropping his booze, the pilot floored the accelerator as the saucer made screeching noises in Earth's atmosphere.
"….what?" Uttering her disbelief at the new arrivals, Lisanna rubbed her eyes in fear of random insanity.
"Are those giant rabbits…that can talk!? That's so weird!" Happy shouted out.
"Says the flying, talking cat" Lucy uttered as she started to rub her temples.
"This makes no sense at all! Now there's giant space rabbits in a flying Easter EGG!?" Grasping her own head, Mira tried to stay calm, but the ridiculous scene was just so…
"So stupid! I mean, come on!" Laxus shouted in equal disturbance, the man almost embarrassed to be watching something with so little impact.
The two alien ships left the atmosphere of Earth, rushing past the moon in blinding speeds.
"Attention! Pull over immediately!" Moving closer, the round egg ship flared with a rainbow of lights as the two rabbit's gave chase.
"Well shit…my mama's gonna have my hide for this one" Cleebus uttered as he looked into a nearby view screen, his big black eyes watching the perusing vessel.
"Same with my missus! Boyee! She's gonna be fighting mad! Unless…Grab the controls, Cleebus!" Jumping up, Jebba drank some more, his gait already uneasy and showing drunkenness. Staggering to a nearby door, the alien stumbled as Cleebus flipped the ship.
Rushing past Mars, the craft entered the asteroid belt as tumbling rocks were avoided by the erratic driving of the two aliens.
"Last warning otherwise we'll fire!"
"I'll give ya damn space rabbits something to…uh…fire about!" Slamming his slender, three fingered hand against a button, the door slid open. Stepping inside, a suit of sheering material molded itself around Jebba, including a bubble face mask. Yanking an alien weapon off the nearby rack, Jebba made sure the air hose and tether were properly secured before he approached another, secondary door toward the exterior of the airlock.
"Awe shit! You gonna do the Vacuum Shuffle, aint ya!? WHHHHOOOOO!" Accelerating faster, the hillbilly alien gave another hoot as his friend left the ship in a madness of tumbling. Being yanked every which way with no means of control, Jebba hooted in drunken bravado.
"YEEHAAAWWW! GOT SOME LASER FOR YA'LL RABBITS!" Firing haphazardly as the saucer dragged him through the empty expanse, the alien was completely ineffective while random blasts of red light flared randomly from his gun. Gripping his space gun, the alien was tossed about at the end of the tether, his friend randomly jinking and swerving in the darkness of space.
"I'm gonna hit that space jump!" Flying the ship over several asteroids, the saucer made random car chasing noises. "Best damn money we ever spent! Fake car chase noises! WOOOOHHEE!" Slugging down some more booze, Cleebus yanked the controls in a random direction as the space disk dove downward in the sterile expanse.
"WOOOOO! COME GIT SOME!" Firing some more, none of the laser blasts hit as the rabbit ship fell back.
"It's confirmed. They really are morons. Drunk too" Laki uttered with a disappointed look and weary tone.
"I was hoping to learn something, but I feel like I'll get dumb watching any more of this nonsense" Levy complained with a huff, the script mage offput by such a display of wasted potential.
"No way! This is cool! And it reminds me of how dumb Gray is!" Natsu preened, the slayer clearly wanting to see more.
"The fact you think this is good speaks volumes of your ash filled head. Mira? Please just get another timeline going"
"Damn insane bastards! They'll hit nothing like that! Get the Egg Launcher!" One of the rabbits shouted to the other as more random shots of laser flew past their ship.
"WOOOOEEEEEEEEEEE! THE GRAY SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!"
Levy slammed the red button down, ending the link as the cube powered down. "Sorry Laxus. Looks like the cube picked a bad timeline" Apologetic, the script mage lightly smiled.
"Well…better than some of the bloody one's I guess? It may have been stupid, but far better than zombies or that Turkey Monster" Shrugging in acceptance, Laxus watched as Evergreen stood up.
"I'm going to try. And it will be a proper timeline!" Raising her fist in womanly determination, Evergreen slammed her palm down on the green button moments later.
With another flash of the lenses, the next timeline unfurled, giving the guild a proper view.
The planet was vastly more green looking while the oceans gave off a rust colored hue underneath several strands of swirling, pinkish clouds. Two moons hung in orbit, the surfaces dotted with domed settlements while the planet itself sprawled with numerous cities stretching across the surface. Numerous space craft flitted toward the surface or toward hanging orbital instillations.
"See? This is what I'm talking about! An advanced civilization!" Preening with joy, Levy was very pleased that this strange world was far better than the last few aliens.
"I wonder what the planet is called? Does look rather drab compared to our own planet" Cosmos commented, the knight not caring for its dull coloration.
"As long as we don't have to deal with drunken aliens and rabbit police" Mira muttered with lingering disappointment.
Swirling downward toward one of the sprawling cities, air cars, ground transports and other vehicles traversed among the towering skyscrapers before the view went northward to a very dull and plain looking six story apartment structure with numerous piles of garbage strewn along the road.
A rather dull and drab apartment appeared, the furnishings pretty standard…aside from the wall lined with numerous alien rifles, pistols and unknown weapons. Some were blue with rings around the barrel, others orange with wicked looking bayonets attached. One particular pistol was a sheening purple with a clear housing holding bubbling, pink liquid inside.
Laying in a single bed, a creature stirred, then stretched as he finally sat up due to the blaring alarm. Nearly entirely green in coloration, the creature had insectile red eyes, mandibles around the mouth, and spindly arms attached to a central thorax.
Throwing off the covers, he stood erect before stretching with an alien smile at the new day.
Essentially, he looked like a giant praying mantis.
"Ugh. Why did it have to be a giant bug?" Clearly grossed out, Lucy didn't care as the creature left his bed and moved to a very normal looking kitchen. Starting to warm up a cup of coffee, the creature sat at the central island.
"At least he doesn't appear to be intoxicated" Kamika offered in some sort of respite.
"Oh boy! Let's see what's on the calendar today Krombopulos Michael!" Bringing up a floating schedule from some wrist mounted tool, the insect smiled. "Yup! Killing! Oh boy, I sure do love killing!" Drinking the rest of his coffee, the alien then started getting dressed in armor, his tone clearly joyous as he placed some red goggles over his eyes. Retrieving a laser pistol and a secondary rifle that gave off an orange pulsing glow, he strapped the larger weapon to his back armor plate. "I wonder who I get to kill today? I hope it's lots of people! Bad guys, business men, nosy housewives! I just loooovee killing!"
Jumping out of his open window, the alien then ran off down the street. Suddenly stopping near several random pedestrians, he pulled out several business cards and pressed them into the hands of the innocent. "Remember! If you need somebody killed, call me! Krompobulous Michael! Or just send people to kill me so I can kill them!"
"Uhhh…thanks?" a female insect said with uncertainty as she quickly stepped back.
"Remember! I lllloooooveee killing!" Leaning toward the female, his tone grew dark. "Seriously. I love killing. Just love it. So, remember to call me if you need somebody killed!"
"I'll make sure of that…"
"Thanks! Remember! If you hire me, tell the victim so they know I'm coming to kill them! Oh boy! Killing!"
"This alien is a sociopath! Who would even hire somebody that irresponsible!" Laki shouted out, the purple haired wood mage in disbelief at the recent stupidity.
"Yeah! If you're going to be an assassin, the point is not to announce yourself" Gildarts added with a dismissive tone, his head shaking ruefully.
"Don't you mean he shouldn't be killing at all, dad?" Cana stared, her womanly gaze unforgiving.
"Uh…yeah. Sure"
"Well, maybe he'll kill somebody really really bad? Like an evil emperor or something?" Gajeel said with a hint of hope.
"At least they're aliens and not humans I suppose…" Evergreen scowled, but would accept watching for a little while longer.
Skipping down the road, Krombopulous Michael waved at a police officer at a corner. "Hi officer! Isn't it a great day for killing?"
"Just keep it out of my jurisdiction"
"Do you want me to kill your boss?"
"No, and stop asking" Walking briskly away, the officer blended in with another crowd of space bugs.
"I guess he's making a list of people he wants me to kill?"
"Is it just me, or does nobody take this guy seriously?" Bisca asked her friends, who seemed to agree for the most part.
"He could just be some crazy person?" Alzack supported, hoping that this alien was all talk and bluster.
Whistling while walking down another street, Krombopulous Michael halted as his mobile phone rang. Retrieving it from his belt, the alien smiled. "Hi! This is Krombopulous Michael and I love killing! Do you need somebody killed?"
"Great! I'll be there soon!" Hanging up the phone, the alien started to run, his excitement palpable as normal citizens avoided the crazy insect.
"…Looks like he has a client. How terrible, hiring somebody for murder" Disappointment hung in Makarov's tone, the guild master finding the practice despicable.
"It is a loathesome activity. While I can understand taking a life in self defense or the defense of the innocent, he simply is committing murder for fun and employment" Erza stated with a frown, the knight finding the whole thing dishonorable.
Juvia looked over at Gray, then the others, her face lightly troubled as the water mage shifted in her seat. "Juvia wonders what type of horrible person would hire an assassin?"
"Probably somebody with no morals themselves" Levy suggested, the script mage considering just severing the current timeline. "Looks like the scene changed while we were talking" the short woman added.
The parking garage was dank and dark while multiple personal craft sat in designated spots. Approaching the darkest corner with obvious joy, Michael stopped as a shadow shifted in the corner. "Hello! I'm here to kill the person you need killing! Please let me kill them with my gun I use for killing"
A man stepped from the gloom, his bare chest a marred mess of scars and tattoos. Wearing a white mask with a red 'V' that hid his facial features, he lightly brushed the three rows of green mohawk hair away. Completing the outfit were dirty boots, orange pants, and a strange club with a buzz saw at the end.
"Finally! I'm Face McShooty and I need to hire you to SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!" Pointing at his masked face, the man yelled with insanity. "NOT THE ARMS! NOT THE LEGS! THE FACE! BULLETS TO THE FACE! GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!"
"What!? Seriously! This insane masked man wants to be killed so he hired an assassin!? Lisanna squawked out, the absurdity of the situation making the youngest Strauss sister reel from mental issues.
"Well…maybe he has some terminal disease and wants to be killed before it gets painful?" Pantherlily offered as a possible reason.
"What kind of stupid name is Face McShooty?" Romeo asked, the young man hoping for some clarity, but received none from his friends.
"YUP! No terminal diseases or anything! I just want to be shot in the face! Everybody I ask declines, but you won't!" Jumping up and dancing, the insane man spun around as Krombopulous Michael unholstered his laser pistol.
"Nevermind" Pantherlily uttered.
"Oh boy! Killing!" Raising the weapon, the insect was about to fire as his mandibles curled into a strange smile.
"Wait" Holding up his left, Face McShooty then ran to an empty parking spot bathing under flickering lights. A large, red 'X' was painted on the concrete, its freshness leaving the hints of boot prints as the insane man stood in the center, then pointed at his mask. Toward the left near some rusting space car, a small treasure chest with a dollar sign sat. "NOW! SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!"
Krombopulous Michael fired his pistol, the energy blast snapping through the air before colliding with the client's face. Blood, bone and pieces of mask flew, creating a gore strewn parking space as the insane man fell in a crumple.
"Wow! I just love killing!" Walking over, he searched the trunk, retrieving the space money. "I love getting paid to kill people. When I get paid, I can buy more guns to kill even more" Smiling as he stood up, Krombopulous Michael left the dank garage.
"I think we've watched enough of this insane insect alien. The last thing I want you all to see is some horrible atrocity. Please bring up the next timeline, ladies" Makarov indicated.
"Well…at least he found a job he loves…I guess?" Alzack tried to reason, only to get a slight scowl from his wife. "It's a terrible profession dear, please don't forget that" Bisca warned with wifely righteousness.
"Maybe the next timeline will be less insane? Or at least more logical than assassin space bugs and drunk aliens" Mira suggested with hope. Drinking some water, she then activated the cube once more with the press of the green button.
The lenses flared, glowing as the machine connected to another universe.
Magnolia sprawled out underneath a warm day, the pleasant sunshine hiding the terrible sight in the middle of the park.
Hanging from the central tree was Levy McGarden, Droy and Jet, the three beaten and unconscious. Levy herself had the mark of Phantom Lord painted on her bare stomach in deep black, proclaiming the perpetrators.
Beyond, the rest of the guild looked on in horror and visible anger as Master Makarov marched up, his own magical power growing with each step.
"This…This is too much Jose! If you want a fight, then you'll have one! FAIRY TAIL! PREPARE FOR WAR!" Yelling as his cane burst, Makarov's voice was filled with anger and rage over the beatings of his children as the rest of the guild let out supportive yells.
Gajeel sighed. "Dammit. This crap. If only I had some common sense back then" Upset at the unfolding timeline, the man felt a comforting gaze come from Levy nearby. "You're not like that anymore, Gajeel and you've more than earned a place in our guild" Looking around at her friends, the blue haired mage spoke. "Should I end the connection? We all know what happen's"
"Actually, I only read a simple report on this conflict so I would appreciate watching the war transpire" Hisui asked politely, the queen regal in her seated posture.
"I suppose it's acceptable since we did emerge victorious" Erza added, even though she didn't like the conflict from the guilds past.
"But will that happen here? Things could go differently like our guild loses or Juvia fights Natsu instead of Gray" Sipping some more beer, Cana felt the icy stare of Juvia as the water mage clenched and unclenched her fists.
"Lies from a love rival…"
"Let's just watch for a bit, alright?" Laxus interjected, not wanting to deal with the crazy water mage at the moment.
Lucy and Mira had barely taken a step toward their beaten friends while Natsu and several others promised to give Phantom Lord a beating they wouldn't forget.
"Just you wait Redfox! I'm gonna kick your ass!" Punching his fists together, Natsu's anger was palpable while fire seemed to dance behind his eyes.
"Heh, not without us you're not" Stepping up, Gray was cool and collected, the ice mage bare chested as more of the members joined him.
Suddenly, near the base of the tree, several strange sparks of orange and blue suddenly erupted, the floating particles flaring.
"Lucy! Mira! Lookout! It's another Phantom trap!" Hoisting her blade, Erza stepped forward as the flashes grew faster near the still hanging victims of Team Shadow Gear. Her gaze stern, Erza waited as the particles gave one last flare…and a person appeared in a sudden flash of light.
"What the hell? That didn't happen at all!" Cana said with a shocked outburst.
"Clearly not. I would remember some random stranger appearing on that day out of thin air" Replying stiffly, Erza immediately returned her gaze to the very random turn of events.
The guild members surrounded the individual, their faces determined to defend themselves and their friends.
Short in stature, the form was of a female judging by the shape of the chest piece. Completely covered in dull gray plates, heavy black boots and a sealed helmet with glowing, blue eye lenses, the person held a light machine gun with a very wicked looking bayonet.
Numerous scorch marks marred the leg greaves while several deep gouges crossed the abdominals and left breast. Copious amounts of green, blue and reddish gore dripped down the armor and from the deadly bayonet tip.
Lifting up her left forearm, the helmeted woman then hit a few buttons, her gaze locked onto the mages.
"Who are you!? Are you with Phantom Lord!?" Bisca yelled, the greenette aiming her magical firearm.
A pulse of blue erupted from the forearm equipment, washing over the mages harmlessly as the woman ignored Bisca.
"What was that? A magic spell?" Freed inquired, the man confused.
"Possibly. But so far, this helmeted stranger hasn't made any threatening moves. Looks like she was in some serious fights though judging by all that blood and damage her armor has" Finishing his conclusion, Laxus really hoped this unknown person wasn't some dark mage or monster.
Turning to face the still unconscious and hanging forms of Levy, Jet and Droy, the stranger then turned back to the rest of the gathered mages in the center of Magnolia's park. Hitting another button, her armor began to retract in a flare of light, seemingly deconstructing itself in seconds. The rifle quickly followed, disappearing with ease into the strange device.
Standing there, a woman with short, blue hair waved with a cocky grin. A four inch scar traveled across her left cheek while her chest strained against a green tank top that proclaimed 'Science chicks are Sexy' Her pants were black and with numerous pockets, while her boots stayed the same. A belt of pouches, along with a flask and new side arm had appeared, indicating an equipment change.
"Yo! Levy McGarden! Not to be confused with your local variant" Cocking her thumb backward, the woman grinned. "Looks like I got my asskicked by the…the…fuck, what's his name?" Stroking her chin for a few moments, she snapped her fingers. "Rustbucket! That idiot!"
"What. The. Hell" Levy uttered with shock as she stared at this scarred, and forgetful variant that just appeared. "WHERE THE HELL DID SHE COME FROM! And..and…and why was she covered in all that gore and blood!?"
"Whoa! That other Levy has some nice breasts. I'd say C-cups at least" Proud of his deductive reasoning, Wakaba never saw the metal rod striking his head, courteous of Gajeel. "Pay attention you pervert! This is important!" Not liking others talking about Levy that way, the dragon slayer glared at the now defeated man.
"Now this is really interesting!" Laki said with obvious excitement as she settled down to watch.
"Who are you!? A dark mage? Some sort of Phantom spy!?" Brandishing her blade, Erza stepped forward, pointing the blade at the new arrival.
McGarden didn't flinch at the sparkling tip of the sword, only cocking her brow which made her scar slightly shift. "Huh…I wonder where Evergreen, Cana and Lisanna landed? Fucking Space Vampires and their laser blood vision…" Ignoring the redhead while raising a finger for silence, Levy put two other fingers to her ear. "Hey Ever? Where did you land? …Crocus!? And you're getting ice cream without me?! What do you mean the last fight was my fault? All I did was burn their…uh…space nest and steal their super delicious alcohol and killed their slug king!"
Mcgarden went silent for a few moments, listening in as Erza gained several tick marks across her forehead.
"Yeah. Magnolia. Looks like the Phantom Lord thing. Hold on, I'll ask" Turning to Erza, McGarden continued. "Hey. Did Gajeel or any of their members rape or sexually assault my variant?"
Erza was stunned by the question. "Of course not!? How can you ask something so horrible!"
"Seriously! What's wrong with you!?" Mira added with hostility. "I know they attacked us, but that would just be sickening!"
McGarden resumed her communication, the shouting women nearby temporarily forgotten. "Looks like the standard shit. Honestly, killing all of Phantom Lord for just a few beat downs seems extreme, right? I forget the rules on these boring planets" Listening some more, McGarden frowned. "Hell no! I'm not setting up a Cana centric harem with Natsu, Albarona! You want to get him with your variant, get your ass here and do it yourself! Fuck!" Rubbing her temples as she ended the communication, McGarden reached for a flask on her hip and quickly drank from it. "Seriously. If I was going to set Natsu up with anybody, it would be me! Or Erza since that's the easiest…eh, possibly Juvia since we have the same hair color. Blunette alliance, activate! Hahaha!" Laughing to herself, McGarden drank some more.
"Did you just talk about a Cana centric harem with Natsu? What kind of sick things are going through your mind, Levy!?" Downing her beer, the bountiful brunette wanted answers.
"Don't yell at me for what she's saying! I mean, she's drinking right now! I don't do that!" Shouting across the guild hall, both women glared.
"WHAT DID SHE SAY ABOUT NOT SETTING ME UP WITH MY PRECIOUS GRAY!?" Shrieking with womanly fury, Juvia was nearly apocalyptic.
"Uh…I'll admit having Juvia chase Natsu would give me more peace of mind" Gray said absentmindedly, only to gain a horrified look from the water mage.
"I'm far more concerned about the fact she causally talked about my old guild committing sex crimes or killing them" Gajeel muttered, his senses finding something very off about this other Levy.
"Did she just say she want's to get with Natsu?" Lucy pointed, finding the statement extremely….odd.
"Hmph! Saying I'm the easiest. Clearly she's insane" Erza grumbled, the knight unable to do anything.
"What…what is the meaning of this!?" Shouting, Makarov stepped forward, the guild master in no mood for games or trickery.
Mcgarden blew out some air, annoyed. "Are you all deaf? I said I was Levy McGarden. Just like her, except different Earthland" Corking the flask, she reattached it to her belt before yawning then stretching.
"I think your lying" Stepping forward once more, Erza hadn't lowered her guard at all.
Eyeing Natsu nearby while ignoring the red headed knight, McGarden winked. "Hey hot stuff. How about we go back to your place?"
"Okay. That's pretty disgusting. I mean, Natsu with any woman is a horrifying prospect" Gray stated, earning several nods from the male populace.
All Levy could do was try to hide her face from the embarrassment.
"Er…what?" taking a few steps back, Natsu was clearly surprised.
"Come on! You know!? Get some action! Screw around! Fuck! Understand!? Hell, maybe we can invite Erza!" Pointing at the red headed knight, the woman instantly turned red at the statement.
"You…FILTH MONGER!…RRRaagghhh!" Swinging the blade, Erza reacted in the only way she knew how. By attacking.
"Yeah. That seems pretty in character for Erza" Mira simply stated as she lightly smiled at her old rival who was blushing…along with Levy and Natsu.
"ENOUGH OF THIS NONESENSE! WE HAVE A WAR TO FIGHT!" Makarov roared, interrupting all the bubbling conversations and frantic swings of Erza.
"It's a trap. They want you all to rush in, then that…air guy…assholeface drains your magic, causing a retreat. But while you're all attacking, they send some other Phantom guys to kidnap Lucy. Then! Jose attacks with his mobile guild hall and fires a Jupiter Cannon which Erza blocks then some of you assault their base, Gray fights Juvia and she falls in love with him. At least that's the normal events…I think?" Tapping her foot heavily, McGarden scowled as she glared at her still hanging variant. "Fuck, is anybody going to cut me down from there? Nevermind, I'll do it" Summoning a single sheet of paper that floated above her hand, she flicked her wrist, sending the parchment to cut through the rope.
Team Shadow Gear fell in a crumple at the base of the tree, none moving as Mira rushed over with Laki. "Are you insane!? What if they got hurt some more!?"
"Meh. They'll be fine" scratching her scarred cheek, McGarden didn't avoid Erza getting behind her with her short sword and clear animosity.
"Explain how you know of Phantom Lord's plans…imposter"
"Wow Erza! You're really not getting it at all!" Happy cheered out as the knight huffed.
"Could still be a trap. We have encountered mages with shape shifting capabilities. Even Mira can change her appearance. I stand by my variants action's"
Levy pointed. "Anybody else see her summon paper to cut through those ropes? That could be useful to learn, right?"
"Maybe…she still seems rather off though…" Pantherlily observed, the Exceed watching this McGarden with scrutinization.
"Does seem to curse a lot. I wonder what my own variant is like there?" Evergreen muttered with slight curiosity.
McGarden groaned with annoyance, the shorter woman turning to face Erza who glared with suspicion…and the lingering blushing of embarrassment.
"I told you. Levy McGarden from a parallel universe!" Spreading her arms wide, the woman stepped back as she slowly laughed. "Mad Scientist! Butcher of cities! Murderer! Survivor and Savior of Civilizations! Galactic Star Fighter! Soldier! HAHAHA!" Summoning hundreds of sheets of paper, she stepped onto the roiling tapestry before lifting herself into the air. "I've personally killed Laxus! Cannibal Lucy! Five different Acnologia's! I've slaughtered thousands of rapists and sadists! I've been killed and resurrected! Lost in the multiverse with my three friends Evergreen, Cana and Lisanna for nearly six years of horror and beauty! Death! War and Peace! Wonder and torment! Alien worlds and temporal time prisons! I AM A FUCKING GOD COMPARED TO ALL OF YOU!" Flying higher as more and more parchment flowed about her, McGarden laughed with unhinged madness. "MY PAPER SHREDDER COULD KILL EVERY PERSON IN THIS CITY!"
"You're…you're a monster! Killing is wrong!" Natsu suddenly barked, his voice filled with anger as more of the guild shouted insults and threats.
"Hahaha! Guess we aren't fucking after all! Too bad, guess you'll have to conquer Erza and Mira later! Haha, you sly dragon!" Impishly smiling, McGarden cocked a thumb. "Well, I'll go take care of your little fight, Makarov. After all, it's not even a war" Gaze going dark, McGarden suddenly shot off, flying through the air and leaving Magnolia behind.
"She killed me!? Why!?" Laxus shouted, his gaze instantly going to the short script mage that had grown pale.
"I was a cannibal in some random universe? That's…sickening to think about" Gulping hard, Lucy sat still as Levy stuttered.
"She…I…six years…stranded in the multiverse facing unknown threats at anytime? Dying and being resurrected? War and murder…She probably broke mentally a long time ago…" Feeling a comforting hand on her shoulder, Levy looked at Mira with sad eyes.
"We have no idea the true extent of the situations she's confronted along side her other companions. Judging her would be extremely arrogant of us all".
"Thinking any of us would be immune or able to weather that type of life is foolish. It's one thing dealing with some nasty bandits or dark mages, but years? Lost from home in an unending torment of…of shifting through realities and dealing with cannibal variations of your friends? Or dying? Or full on hellscapes? It would be a terrible existence and the fact it happened to some of my children is heart rending" Makarov stated with a dour, depressed tone.
"She's approaching the Phantom Lord guild hall" Romeo observed before looking at Levy. "I know she's seem's unhinged and very dangerous, but that magic she's using to fly is kinda cool"
"You're not wrong. It does appear to be a useful spell she developed" Carla added with agreement.
McGarden stood on her rippling expanse of paper, the parchment keeping her aloft as she stared down at the guild hall with a harsh gaze. Lifting up her right hand, more spinning pieces of paper appeared, swirling like a buzz saw.
"Killing them all would be so easy…But what's the fucking point?" Dispelling the attack, the short woman cocked her head as a gathering of rain clouds loomed over the right portion of an exposed battlement between two towers. "Guess that's Juvia" Flying low, McGarden soon caught sight of the rain woman standing underneath a roiling cloud of depression.
Landing with ease, McGarden walked under the falling drops, startling the mage who looked her way in surprise.
"Levy? Of Fairy Tail? What are you doing here? Didn't you get attacked?"
McGarden shrugged, letting the water fall upon her head. "I'm from a parallel universe. Honestly, I came here intending to cut off Aria's arms and break your guild master's legs. Would've been easy too" Sighing, Levy looked at the depressed rain woman.
"Juvia wonders why you would say something so horrible? Or tell her in the first place? We are enemies"
McGarden snorted a laugh. "You know, in my home reality, you never joined Phantom Lord? You were living in a cave, driven out of some town. I was with Erza, looking for some special crystals and there you were, dirty, alone and sad. We brought you back and got ourselves a new member. Course, you found Natsu great husband material"
"The fire mage?" Curious, Juvia listened.
"Yup! And unlike the garbage ice guy…uh…Fullbuster, he accepted those feelings. You probably have a fifty fifty chance of falling for one of those guys in the next few days"
"Did Levy just call me a garbage guy!?" Gray shouted from the insult, much to the snickering of Natsu, Elfman and Gajeel.
"Well, she's not wrong about that! You do smell like garbage!" Gajeel added with a roar of laughter.
"I'm gonna call you garbage ice man!" Laughing while pointing, Natsu enjoyed the scowl of his rival.
"How interesting. Finding Juvia living in a cave would certainly cause a different outcome of the guild war. I wonder who they found to replace her?" Evergreen contemplated.
Rain plastered Levy's head, pushing her hair downward as she simply leaned against the stone railing, looking out at the city of Oak Town.
"Juvia is sorry for the rain. She's very sad and lonely"
"Meh. Better than raining blood and flesh eating trees. That Earthland sucked ass" Laughing, she pulled her flask again and drank, the booze a refreshing taste. "Seriously. I've seen so many fucked up things. Murderous children that skin adults alive. Sharknado's. Screaming crystal monsters on an airless moon. Alien planets with a hundred different species. Hillbilly aliens chased by rabbit cops. Temporal variations where I walked over my own body that starved to death. Cocaine infused tentacle monsters that melt the clothes of women. Flesh ripping space bugs on Klendathu…" Staring out, Levy continued. "Just…why should I even bother interfering with this pathetic little dust up? Your guild will most likely lose, especially now that Fairy Tail knows your plans. But say I defeat all your guild mates? Then what? Next time I do it again and for what? Because Gajeel smashed up some guild hall and beat my double? Fuck that" Drinking some more, she slid the flask to Juvia.
"She sounds so depressed…and those things she mentioned sound even worse than before" Suddenly quiet, Levy felt pity for her variant.
"Juvia doesn't exactly understand…" Taking a small sip, the rainwoman slid it back.
"Infinity. Infinite versions of you and me. Of everybody across a multiverse of worlds. Just think of the infinite space of a lone universe, than multiply that by endless possibilities….some good, some bad. Others so blatantly boring that it doesn't matter. Heh…I remember this one Magnolia that was built across five tropical islands. The coast of Fiore and holy shit, probably one of the best damn Earthlands ever. Crime was almost none existent, the whole planet was at peace. No dark mages or monsters. Just…a whole world of prosperity, science and technology. Wish I could've stayed but once the shifting particles reach a full charge…off I go to some new universe" Pushing away from the stone railing, McGarden grabbed her flask, the water dripping down her cheeks like rivers. "Go join Fairy Tail. Apologize and maybe…maybe you'll finally see the sun" Summoning her paper, Levy stepped on and flew off in some random direction.
"Thank goodness. She didn't do anything terrible" Levy gasped out with relief, the script mage fearing a slaughter of mages by some unhinged variant.
"I think she was trying to help Juvia. At least a little bit" the watermage admitted, the memories of those days not exactly fond.
"I'm curious about an Earthland with no crime and Magnolia a tropical island paradise! Just think about how great it would be having a beach right out front!" Mira stated with a clenched fist, the barmaid wanting to strut her stuff.
"Still, seems like this McGarden has seen more than her fair share of horrors and nightmares. And what she mentioned at the end? Just…shifting to some new universe? How terrible that must be" Giving one last look at the flying double, Levy hit the red button, ending the connection.
"Awe dammit! Why'd you end it!? I wanted to see what my own crazy variant would be like!?" Wailing with fake tears, Cana drank from a new mug of beer to hide her sorrows.
"I was kinda hoping to see what that other Lisanna would've been like. Would she be battle hardened and cruel? Still nice and positive? Oh well, nothing we can do about it now" Propping her chin upon her palm, Lisanna was clearly disappointed.
"Probably for the best we didn't. If that variant of Levy had drifted so far off the moral path after years of random multiversal travel, I doubt my own double, or those of Cana and you would be much better. Who knows what terrible things they've seen or done"
"It's probably something we'll all see though at some point. Terrible versions of ourselves. Why, I could even be a tyrant queen" Hisui explained, hating the fact that it was entirely possible.
"Perhaps a small break would be in order. We did witness some rather strange and eye opening events" Mira suggested as she stood and stretched. "Whoever wants to activate the next timeline, help yourselves. I'm getting a snack" Walking to the bar, Mira waved at Kinana before helping herself.
"You know…I can't blame her for getting stronger. Or even developing that Paper Shredder magic…however she did it. But at some point, she lost her way and now…now she seemed so broken at the end. I hope I never become like that" Whispering the words so only Lisanna could hear, Levy sat as the guild lowly talked about the insane variant of McGarden, aliens, and the whole slew of madness they witnessed in the last half hour.
So yeah, just a few random universes. Didn't even plan on having a thing with a McGarden variant, was gonna have a manly man convention with the manliest men from anime! And before that, a variation of Rising from the Embers where the COG fully defeats the Toads before first contact. But it just didn't flow right and so I saved it for fixes later. But this was just a few random ideas thrown together because the first universe only lasted like 2400 words which was too short!
Anyway, I'll be working on Bisca's Journey next, then back to Rising most likely or some other idea for this. Probably Bleach soon. Or maybe Red vs Blue? I dunno, I see the suggestions but I can't force ideas. They have to flow naturally otherwise it's just not worth it.
The Happy