"Hey Liss".

Play it cool Rose, just play it cool.

"Rose! Just the girl I wanted to see. You know I was thinking you and I could go shopping later today. Get some sexy outfits for our men. Plus I've been dying to get my hair and nails done. What do you think?" she beams and looks at me. If I didn't know any better I would like Liss is keening for a girls spa day like we used to do back in her dorm room. But this? The desperation is leaking through and I can hear how badly she wants me to bend to her suggestions.

"I think it's a great idea Liss. It's actually kind of perfect considering what I came to ask you."

"What's that Rose?"

"I need a vacation, Liss... It's been 2 years since everything happened. Dimitri is stressed and keeps taking on more job duties. I'm stressed too. We just need a little vacation and some time to ourselves."

Not to mention I'm pregnant with my little seahorse baby and trying to protect them from your crazy ass and get the hell out of dodge.

"Oh Rose why didn't you say anything? Of course you can take a vacation! Wherever you want to go- my treat!"

I'll be damned. Abe Mazur once again right on the money.

"Are you sure Liss? I don't want to impose."

"I'm certain. I'll even plan everything. When did you want to leave?"

"How's a couple days or even sometime next week? I still need to talk to Dimitri and Hans. Look into getting shift coverage and pack and clean…"

"You talk to Dimitri. I'll message Hans. Being the Queen has it's perks remember?" she grins.

Okay so that gives me about 48 hours to get everything taken care of and to disappear on a plane with Dimitri.

"You're the best Liss. Thank you."

Still cool Rose. Still cool.

"Oh Rose it's no bother! You and Dimitri deserve some alone time. I know the perfect place to send you two. Now go get packing!"

I leave Lissa's suite and rush home where I begin to grab mine and Dimitri's duffles from the closet. Fuck. Dimitri.

I have no idea how to tell him not only am I pregnant with his miracle baby. I'm also 8 weeks pregnant and I haven't told him my suspicions all week. However Dimitri wouldn't be the guardian he is if he wasn't so skilled and observant. I know he knows something is up.

First I've been keyed up all week since first discovering that I was probably pregnant. Then Lissa finds out about my ability to get pregnant with Dimitri and begins demanding that I help further dhampir research and have a baby that can be used for "research purposes".

Flashback

I had just taken over for McCall at 0800 when Lissa came bursting through her private office doors.

"Rose! Rose! You are not going to believe what I found out in my meeting with the Alchemists this morning"

"You can have a baby! We can have a baby! Imagine what it could do and mean! We have to study this Rose!"

She knows. How?! Did she say in her morning Alchemist meeting? Did she just say STUDY my baby?

"Excuse me? Liss slow down. What are you talking about? Dimitri and I can't have children together".

"No you can! You can Rose! You can have a baby together and we can study the baby and you and Dimitri and do research so we can build the dhampir population up again. We have to do this Rose"

"No."

"N-no?"

"No Liss. I will not be getting pregnant. I will not be having a baby. I am a GUARDIAN."

"Oh Rose you can still be a guardian and have a baby! You're own mother did it"

…

…

…

"My mother? My mother abandoned me and signed me off to be raised by the Academy when I was four. Please don't go there Liss."

"You're right. I'm sorry. How about this- I'll give you some time to think about it and talk to Dimitri! Imagine how excited he's going to be! Okay we'll talk later I've got another meeting to get to."

"Bye Liss" I say as she turns and goes back into her office.

I need to call my dad.

Present

I begin grabbing my favorite items from my side of the closet and quickly folding and rolling I start shoving as much as I can fit into my suitcase.

Shirts are flying, leggings are scattered on the floor and I realize I need to do laundry still. It feels like hours but in reality it's only minutes before I'm gasping for breath and my heart is thundering in my chest.

Breathe.

It's been awhile since I've had a panic attack. Knowing I need to remain calm for my little seahorse I begin to take a few deep breaths to bring myself out of panic.

In. Out.

Breathe.

I finally calm myself down and look around my home in destruction. Finally I burst into tears. My home. Our home. I am angry. I am sad. I am heartbroken. But most of all I'm so scared. Scared for how Dimitri will react. How Lissa will when she discovers we're gone. Adrian. Eddie. We're leaving and it's real.

"Roza?"

Dimitri walks into the bedroom wide eyed in awe of the tornado that used to be our home.

"Roza… what… wh..I just cleaned two nights ago" he pouts. Then with those damn guardian eyes of his I see them lock onto the duffle bags.

My duffle bag. The only one currently stuffed to the brim.

"Roza?" It's a plea, my sweet gentle man is heartbroken. I can hear it in the brokenness of the Russian variant of my name.

"Hi, honey. I've got some exciting news?"

"What is going on? You know I just ran into-"

"-my father. I know. I called him earlier this week. He's here to help us." I wave him off and begin to pick up the clothing littering the floor in keep, leave, and trash piles.

"Help us with what Rose? And why do you have your duffle bag packed like we're never coming…back?" His sentence slows down toward the end and I can physically see Dimitri putting the pieces together.

The queasiness. Adrian's big reveal. My anxiety. My father. The bags. Exciting news.

"What aren't you telling me Roza", he finally asks.

"I'm pregnant."