A/N: Here we are back at it again! Thank you all for your support and patience! I've been in the process of rewriting a huge SPN fanfic that I originally started back in 2009. It's finished, I'm just in the editing stages. Once that's done you'll get more updates here...and some of my other fics. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was a fun one. As always please let me know what you think.

Chapter Eight

"I want to change my name."

The shock was palpable. Tammy's mother had dropped her fork. They were both staring at me in shock. I had to do it now though. The conversation with Bob had proved that. I needed something to help prove I was me. My reflection wasn't me. Nothing felt like me. I needed this.

"What? Why? To what? Tamara is a beautiful name!" Her mother was not taking it well. Tammy's father was staring at me silently.

"It's not that," I said. "I was thinking about this, and I want to go by my middle name when I go to Nashville. I was thinking of shortening Katherine to Kate. Tammy is just way too close to Tiffany and I don't want people to automatically assume I'll be anything like her, I want to form my own identity."

"I don't understand," her mother said. "Kate?" She said it like it was something bad.

"Just, out in public. In school. I'd still be Tammy at home." It was the only thing I could try to promise. "Please," I begged. "It's really important to me."

Tammy's parents looked at each other. There was a silent conversation happening between them and I tried to give them space. I stared at my plate and ate silently.

"We'll talk about it," her father said. "And we'll let you know."

I gave them both a small smile. "Thank you." We finished eating in silence. It was awkward and I prayed silently to whatever higher power was there that they'd agree. I needed this while I tried to find my way home.

Her mother came to my room that night as I was stretching and getting ready for bed. Tammy, despite being so tall, was extraordinarily flexible. It was kind of amazing. I was nowhere near this flexible in my life. It had to be the dance. I wondered how long she had been doing it for.

"Honey?" Her mother knocked on the door before she entered with a soft smile. "Can we talk?"

I got up off the floor and sat next to her on the bed. It was clear where Tammy got her height from considering I was pretty equal to her mother.

"I can't say that I understand what is happening, or where you're coming from. I know you've always planned to leave, to become a star, and maybe it's just getting real for me. You're my baby and seeing you like this, these past few weeks, I just...I don't know. It's like you're a whole new person. I feel like I don't know you anymore. You're so strong and confident. You're so much your father and...I don't want you to grow up too fast, okay? Not yet. And if it means that much to you, we'll accept you going by Kate. You'll just always be Tammy-bear to us."

I felt myself start to cry. Again. Her mother was so sweet, and supportive and I could understand how Tammy thought she could take on the world if this was who she grew up with. It just...it broke my heart because I wasn't Tammy. I never would be. The changes she saw weren't her daughter growing up, she was possessed by an older woman. By me.

"Oh honey, don't cry." Her mother hugged me tightly. "It's just a name, right? We'll always be here for you and we'll always love you." She kissed the top of my head. I hugged her back tightly. I tried to hug her for Tammy, and I tried to imagine I was hugging my own mother. It wasn't the same though.

It was a process getting people to call me Kate. I had to register it with the school. The first one to accept it was Ms. Callahan. She looked over the papers I had signed from Tammy's parents and smiled.

"Kate suits you," she said. I knew I liked her.

"Thank you."

"If you have any issues with your teachers, let me know. We'll get them straightened out." She was officially one of my favourite people.

"Will do. Thanks again!"

Robin was easy to convince because she had already heard of my plan. She agreed and made me promise to correct her if she got it wrong too often. Ally was a whole other story.

"Kate? Why would you want to be called Kate?" She asked me as she opened her locker.

"Why not? What's wrong with Kate?"

"What's not wrong with it?" She made a face. "It's so...common."

"That's going to be the beauty of it. Besides, people probably didn't think Cher or Madonna would be a good idea but look at them now!"

"That's because they're Cher and Madonna. You're...you."

It was my turn to make a face. "Wow. Way to be rude."

"I'm not being rude," she said. "I'm telling the truth. You're not in the same class as them. It's a fact."

"Forget rude, you're being a bitch." I turned and walked away. If I had stayed I was going to say something worse and I still felt inclined to try and keep that friendship for Tammy. It had obviously meant something to her and I didn't want her to be totally lost when she came back.

"Oh my god, Tammy! You're so dramatic!" I heard her call out after me. I kept walking.

I walked into Karate class and quickly changed. Marissa and Ms. Callahan were already there and hailed me to them as soon as I entered.

"How did it go?" Ms. Callahan asked.

"Pretty well," I said. "So far at least. It's still early."

"How did what go?" Marissa asked. We settled into our stretches.

"I'm changing my name. Sort of. I'm asking people to call me Kate instead of Tammy. It's my middle name."

Marissa looked at me over her glasses before she nodded. "I can see it."

"That's what I said," Ms. Callahan said. "Kate suits you more."

"Thank you." I smiled at them. "I feel like a Kate."

The teacher entered the classroom and we fell silent, moving into formation. He ran us through the stretches and exercises before he stopped us and motioned us to move to the side.

"Now," he said, "I will show you how to escape this hold. You," he pointed to one of the women at the side. "Come. Let us demonstrate."

He showed the hold and how, when done right, someone could completely flip the person holding them, causing them to let go and land on their backs. He then got the woman to try and flip him. It took a couple of attempts but she did it. She looked completely shocked that she threw him onto his back.

"Woo!" I called out and clapped. "Way to go!"

A few people looked surprised, including the teacher. Marissa next to me started clapping and cheered as well. The woman who flipped him blushed deeply and nearly ran back into line.

"Who's next?" He asked. There was no response.

I stepped forward. "I'll do it."

He waved me forward. He showed me how to do the hold, and then how to escape it. It took me a few tries. He was nearly equal height to Tammy and I was surprised by how easy flipping him was once I got the hang of it. Marissa and Ms. Callahan both clapped and cheered for me when I succeeded. I grinned at them and waved before heading back into position. This was fun.

After everyone was finished, he paired us up so that we got to practice the holds and releases. I was matched with an older woman I didn't know. She was shorter than me so it was awkward to both flip her and try to hold her. She did incredibly and when I told her, she thanked me profusely. I grinned back. Even getting flipped ass over kettle and likely bruising part of my back, I felt good leaving the class.

It was a Wednesday night and I had to babysit.

The Sinclairs had called me earlier that week, asking if I was available to look after both of the children since they had plans. Something to do with Mr. Sinclair's office, but I wasn't sure and I didn't ask. I agreed though. I wasn't about to turn down money.

I didn't have to find Erica this time. Though I heard her as soon as I entered the house. Both the Sinclair children were in the kitchen, arguing as only siblings could.

"That sounds like the grossest thing I have ever heard!"

"You're the grossest thing I've ever seen! I'm telling her not to make you any! Just go play with your dolls in your room and leave us alone!"

"You little twerp!"

"Well," I drawled as I entered the kitchen. The two kids were each standing on a side of the island, glaring at each other. "This sounds cozy."

Erica looked the same with her hair still in braids. She was wearing overalls that I was sure were in style but I wasn't certain they ever should be. Lucas, I assumed, was the boy across from her. He looked like he was ready to go trekking in the woods instead of playing board games like Erica had suggested he did. He looked familiar. I couldn't place it though. It was likely the pictures of him around the house but I wasn't sure.

"It's not," Erica said. "He was leaving."

"No, I'm not," Lucas snapped back. "I think I'll make myself comfortable." He went to the table and sat down, making a show out of putting up his feet. I raised my eyebrows.

"Your mother lets you put your feet on the table?" He looked at me and slowly lowered them. "I thought not. What's this I hear about making something?"

"Can you make me and you some of those sandwiches you made us last time?" I clearly heard her exclusion of Lucas, and so could he judging from his "hey!"

"What's in it for me?" I asked.

Both the siblings looked at each other and I tried not to smile. Despite all their fighting, they were still willing to use each other as backup.

"What do you want?" Erica crossed her arms.

"Hmm…" I made a show of thinking about it. "No fights for bedtime. If I say it's time, you go without complaint."

Erica seemed to be thinking of it before she finally nodded. Lucas just sighed and said "fine."

"One more condition," I said. "Call me Kate."

"Now, the trick is the slice the apple thinly. That way you get a bit of the crunch but not too much." Lucas and Erica were watching me make the sandwiches carefully. Lucas still looked disgusted but Erica had shoved him out of her space until he had finally moved to the other side of me. I placed the apple in the sandwiches before finally putting them together and onto a frying pan. Erica was bouncing slightly. Her eagerness was a little infectious because it just made me smile to know she liked it. Lucas had yet to look impressed.

When the sandwiches were finally done, I plated two of them, cut them and handed them off to the kids.

"Don't worry," I told Lucas. "I didn't poison it." I winked at Erica after I said it and she grinned madly.

Lucas looked even warier now, but after Erica took a huge bite, he tried it. I watched as he contemplated it before he took a bigger bite. His eyes widened and in nearly two seconds both of them were asking for more.

"I told you!" Erica said. Lucas just stuck his tongue out at her.

I rolled my eyes. Children were children no matter what universe it seemed. I turned back to the counter to make more.

"Why do you want to be called Kate?" Erica was watching me carefully as she asked.

"It's complicated," I said. "I'm hoping to one day go to Nashville, be a star. I figured I needed a pseudonym. Like...a fake name for all my fans to call me. That way Tammy, my real name, can just stay for my family and my friends. But right now I need everyone to call me Kate so I get used to it. Get it?"

"I guess," Erica made a face. "If I changed my name it wouldn't be to something boring like Kate."

"You should change it," Lucas called out. "To Butthole Loser" Erica glared at him.

"You should change yours! To Nerd Fartface!" Both the kids scowled at each other.

I held up the spatula. "If that's how you're gonna act, I'm eating these two sandwiches myself." All traces of the mean expressions vanished. "There's nothing wrong with either of your names. Lucas, every time someone hears your name, they probably all think of Geroge Lucas, creator of Star Wars. That's pretty cool. And Erica, well...you can't have America without Erica, right?"

Erica's eyes lit up and Lucas groaned. I tried not to laugh. The kids were hilarious, but Erica's sass was great. I hoped she kept it as she got older. It would serve her well.

After we ate, I sat at the dining room table and pulled out homework. Erica weirdly enough followed suit and Lucas grudgingly joined us. He kept looking between us suspiciously and I wondered if he thought we were up to something. Or at least, his sister was.

I wrote out answers to the English assignment quickly as they were pretty straight forward. It didn't hurt that I had studied the novel we were focusing on before. When I finished, I looked up to see both Erica and Lucas staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you a genius?" Lucas asked. "That was fast. Incredibly fast."

"No?" I said. "I just knew the answers. It's fairly straight forward as long as you know what the teacher is looking for and you have a grasp on spelling and grammar."

"Um...Okay…" Lucas said.

"Who cares!" Erica snapped at him. "If she's a genius, she's a genius. She doesn't need to be a dumb nerd like you to be smart!"

"I didn't say that!" Lucas snapped back.

"Enough!" I raised my voice loud enough to be heard over both of them. "Get back to work and when we're done, we can watch TV. Whoever is done first, and has it done right, can pick what we watch." I had never seen children do homework faster. I slowed myself down though. I hadn't been paying attention before and I didn't realize they were watching me. I had to be more careful.

"Hey," I was waiting to see which kid was going to be done first when something occurred to me. "Did you ever convince your parents about Alien?"

Lucas looked up from his homework. "What? The movie?"

"Yeah," I said. Erica was determinedly not looking at her brother and was writing furiously. "Erica tried to convince me to let her watch it last time. Instead, I gave her arguments to present to your parents. I also suggested that you two band together for it. Two against two."

Lucas sent a dark look at his sister. "You never told me that!"

Erica rolled her eyes. "Why would I want to team up with you, nerd."

"So we could see Alien!" Lucas held out his hands in front of him like he couldn't understand why. I tried not to laugh.

"It was my idea," Erica said before she finally put down her pencil, lifted her chin and smiled. "Done."

"What?"

"I'm done. I get to pick what we watch." She smiled at him and I motioned for the paper.

"Let me see." I looked over the answers and nodded. "She's right. She wins."

"Come on!" Lucas scowled.

"Finish up and then we'll watch tv."

"Yeah, slowpoke," Erica said. "Mom taped today's My Little Pony. We're watching that." Lucas made a face. I had forgotten how old My Little Pony was.

"Cool," I said. "That's a fun show." Erica's jaw dropped and Lucas looked at me in surprise.

"You watch it?" Lucas asked. I couldn't exactly tell him I went through the entire series when I was in university. I had watched a couple of episodes with a friend who was writing a paper on the popularity and emergence of bronies in a female child-oriented show and ended up watching all of it as I procrastinated on my own paper.

"Gotta watch something when you're sick, right?" It wasn't like Maury or Ricki Lake was on nowadays.

Once Lucas was finished, we made our way to the living room. Erica set everything up. Lucas groaned before leaving to go to his room. I let him. I wasn't going to force a kid to watch something they didn't want to. The music started first before the pictures followed. Once the intro was done, the show started. I recognized it pretty quickly.

"Oh, you'll like this one," I said, settling in to watch it. Erica glanced at me but focused back on the tv. It was easy to get lost in the world of cartoons and Erica was proving hilarious to watch them with. Her commentary was better than I had anticipated.

"Come on! Just stomp him with your hooves! That will save the day!"

When the show was over, it was time for bed. I ushered Erica upstairs to brush her teeth and knocked on Lucas's door. Once reminded of the deal we made, they went to bed without too much of a fuss. Their parents were surprised at the fact that the homework was done and they were asleep by the time they got home.

"You're a miracle worker," Mr. Sinclair told me as he drove me home. "What's your secret? You can tell me. I'll only hold it over my wife." I laughed.

"I don't know," I said. "I just treat them like I treat anyone else." I couldn't very well tell him that bribes, deals and providing arguments against their parents was the key.

[tbc]