A/N: My birthday is next week so I thought I would post this early to celebrate (I say early but I have no timeline on this). I hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think!

Chapter Nine

It took all of my patience to ignore the feeling of Carol's death stare on me in the hallway. It felt like she was trying to drive a hole into my skull. Maybe she was. She didn't seem to appreciate the fact that I hadn't gotten into trouble over the gym clothes, or that I had yet to fall down when she occasionally tried to trip me. In the words of the ultimate mean girl of my generation, why was she so obsessed with me?

"Kate!" I turned to see Robin headed towards me. "Hi! What are you doing tonight?"

"I'm meeting up with a friend," I said. I couldn't exactly tell her that the friend was a middle-aged man who was going to introduce me to his girlfriend, so I left it vague. "Why?"

Her face fell slightly. She shrugged. "I have a soccer game after school tonight. I thought I'd ask if you wanted to come. Then we could hang out after."

"Oh," I frowned. "Sorry. I totally would if I didn't have plans. Let me know when your next game is and I'll cheer you on, okay?"

She grinned at me, her cheeks turning a bit red. Did she not have friends who would go to her games? "Sure," she said. "Should I get you pom-poms?"

"Only if you want me to throw them at you." She laughed and we walked down the hall together.

She leaned in slightly as we walked. "You know Carol is giving you the death glare, right?" she told me softly.

"If I haven't caught on fire yet, I think I'll be fine," I said dryly. Robin laughed before we parted ways. If glaring was the worst Carol could do, I wasn't worried.

"So what does she know?" I walked with Bob from RadioShack. We were headed to the store where his girlfriend worked. It wasn't too busy despite it being the early evening.

"That I'm mentoring you. You came in asking for information about technology and…that's it." he said, giving a small laugh and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Okay," I said. "She didn't ask questions?"

He gave a soft smile. "She trusts me."

"Ugh, you're so in love. I can't wait to meet her."

The store was empty when we walked in except for a woman sitting by the cash register. Her whole face brightened when she saw Bob.

"Hi!"

"Hi," he said, moving quickly towards her to kiss her. "I brought someone to meet you." He moved aside and motioned towards me. I stepped forwards with a smile.

"Hi, I'm Kate and I have heard...so much about you," I said quickly. I wanted to make sure she knew very well that Bob was just a friend. I was sure it looked weird that a grown man was with a teen girl he didn't know.

"I'm Joyce," she said. I could see the wariness in her eyes. "I've only heard a little about you."

"Not surprised," I said. "I know this is weird. I met Bob at Radioshack like a week or so ago. I needed a ton of info on how to create a radio that I could install into a cabinet I'm making in Shop, but I want it to be hidden, like the speakers and everything. Bob has been so helpful and he's been telling me about you since he showed me the first radio. He's so obviously in love with you, it's super cute." I couldn't help but smile as I watched her blush. She was clearly so into him that I wasn't sure I could handle the two of them. "And it's reciprocated!" I held out my hand to Bob for a high five. "Way to go! You guys are too adorable." I really needed to stop talking.

"Thank you?" Joyce said, sending a questioning look at Bob. "Wait, Shop? You're the girl who takes Shop class."

"My reputation precedes me," I said. Who on earth was her son? God, I hoped it wasn't Tommy.

"Yes. Jonathan, my son, told me about you. Said you seemed fearless."

"Oh! Jonathan! Yeah, I sit next to him in Shop. We haven't talked much, but he has a good sense of humour. I'm guessing that's from you?"

"I hope so," Joyce smiled and it was the first real smile that she gave me. "I try."

I grinned at her. "That's all you can do." I looked at Bob and motioned for him to move. "Can you give us a minute?"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise but nodded. After smiling at Joyce he walked down an aisle. I moved closer to Jyoce. I didn't want Bob to hear us, especially since I was certain he wouldn't understand. Joyce stood up as I got to her. I was not expecting her to be so tiny. Oh my god. She was adorable. I made a mental note not to say that out loud. All traces of her smile was gone now.

"Hey," I said. "I just wanted to clear things up. I am totally not into Bob if that's what you're worried about." She blinked at me, looking surprised. "I mean seriously, he's totally way too old, ew, and while he is possibly the nicest guy I've ever met, he's so in love with you that I don't think anyone could compete if they tried. I want you to know that I am a million percent on Team Boyce, okay?"

"Boyce?" she asked, her face scrunched up in confusion. It was a wonder she didn't have more guys following her in her tracks.

"Yeah," I said, "like Bob and Joyce, mixed together. It's like...a thing when people are super compatible. Like, the best type of couples."

Joyce looked away and turned red. "Okay, yeah, sure." She looked at me and smiled. "Thank you for telling me. And if you don't mind me asking, why are you still hanging around him?"

I shrugged. I couldn't tell him the truth. "Aside from the fact that I still have this radio and cabinet to built, he's a nice guy. I mean, I have my dad and all, but do you know the boys at my school? They're idiots, and it's nice to just spend time with people who aren't trying to get into your pants or have a girlfriend who's gonna get jealous and are just genuine. Nobody's really genuine anymore."

She smiled softly and looked a little concerned. "Are you okay?"

I exhaled sharply. That was a loaded question. "Yeah, I just have a lot going on. Thanks." I looked down the aisle where Bob was waiting patiently, before turning to smile at Joyce. "I'm gonna go, you guys have some time together. The night is young." I winked at her and she actually laughed. "Bye Bob! I'll see you later!" I waved at him before heading out. "Have fun!" I sang as I left.

The goggles I had not only blocked sawdust but the sight of Tommy making lewd gestures. Ignoring him seemed to be working, and pissing him off more. He didn't like to be ignored. I focused on the wood I was cutting. After my conversation with Joyce and the fast excuse I made about Bob, I realised I now actually had to make a cabinet. After all, if Joyce asked Jonathan about Shop, and me, I needed the proof I was telling the truth. Even if I wasn't. It was going to be the truth now.

I pulled the slab of wood away from the saw, turned it off and put it on the table to measure it. The cabinet was going to be small, but large enough I could hold a record player in it...along with the radio and speakers.

"Hey, Tammy?" I looked up at the unfamiliar voice. "I mean, Kate, right?" I pushed the goggles to the top of my head so I could see them clearly.

The guy standing by the table was shifting a little nervously. I didn't recognize him, but I knew enough to know he wasn't one of the guys who stood near Tommy all the time.

"Yeah?"

"It's Carl...Carl Jenkins," he smiled. I nodded back, waiting for him to get to the point. "Look, uh, I was just wondering, because you know I haven't heard anything and if it's not too late and you don't already have a date, I mean, if you do I understand but...would you like to go to Homecoming with me?"

What the fuck was Homecoming?

Homecoming, it turned out, was a dance. Like semi-formal, except earlier in the year. It was meant to celebrate the first home game of the football season. Somehow, in the stress of everything that had happened, I had missed all the signs posted around the school and the people talking about it. I told Carl I'd give him an answer by the end of the day. He smiled and said he'd find me. I wanted to say no off the bat. It was weird. I knew logically that the body I was in, Tammy, was his age...but I wasn't. Not mentally, at least. At the same time, I was pretty sure that Tammy not going to Homecoming would be noticed. She was maybe in the middle of the social standing of school and it was likely going to be noticable if I never showed up. I had to figure out what I was going to do.

"Oh my god, Tammy!" I looked up to see Ally headed my way. If I was truthful, I was avoiding her a bit. Partly because she still kept calling me Tammy despite my asking her to call me Kate. "Did I hear this correctly? Did Carl Jenkins ask you to homecoming?"

"Yes?" I didn't see how this was a big deal. Then again, I still had no idea who Carl was. Socially speaking.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing yet, why?"

"What are you going to say?" she seemed very insistent on an answer. It made me feel like I was missing something.

"I don't know, yes? It's just a dance."

Ally's jaw dropped. Semi-Formal had only sort of been a big deal to some people. Prom was the thing that everyone went to. Which reminded me, I had to go to Prom all over again. Maybe it was all different in the States.

"It's not just a dance. It's the complete start of the social season for the year! Who you go with is a huge deal!" She gave me a once over, looking contemplative before she finally shrugged. "You know what, you could do worse. Carl's not bad, I guess, for you."

I sighed. Outside of not remembering my name, I also had avoided her because of things like this. I stared at her. "You're being a bitch again."

She looked shocked before she scowled at me. "Oh my god, bite me." She turned and I got a mouthful of hair and hairspray as she did it. I watched her walk away. Good riddance.

Carl was pretty pleased that I agreed to go with him. He promised to pick me up before the dance and told me to let him know what I was wearing so we didn't clash. I agreed and went home, my thoughts on one thing. I didn't know if Tammy had a dress.

I did the only thing I could think of. As soon as I got home, I called for her mother.

"Mooooom!" Buster started barking at me as I walked in. "Shut up, Buster!"

She came out of the kitchen, looking confused. "What? What is it?" She looked me over before she realised there was nothing physically wrong.

"I need a dress for Homecoming!" I said. I put down my stuff before I headed towards her. "I got asked today by Carl Jenkins and I said yes. So...I need a dress."

She grinned at me. "Did you? That's great! What about the dresses you already have?" I had no idea if Tammy did or not.

"I...don't know. Do you think they'll suit?"

"Only one way to find out," she said. I took her advice and headed upstairs. The dresses Tammy had were a little terrible: large puffed sleeves, strange ruffles and one was even velvet. The only thing about all of them was that they didn't fit right. It made me wonder how old they were and if Tammy had grown more before I showed up.

I took up the issue at dinner when Tammy's mother asked me about it.

"They don't fit. One was supposed to be floor length and comes up past my ankles. The others wont...they won't close." I shrugged. It wasn't the first time it had happened to me.

"When is homecoming?" her father asked.

"Um...next week?" I gave a wry smile as both of her parents looked at each other.

"Then I guess we're going shopping," her mother said. She smiled widely at me. "We can have a girls day!"

I smiled back. My last girl's day was with my actual mother. "Sounds great," I said, and I hoped it was. For both our sakes.

Tammy's mother drove us out of the town, to the nearest city. We blasted music as we drove.

"Is everything alright?" her mother asked me. I turned away from the window to look at her.

"Yeah, why?"

"You're not singing along to the music."

Oh no. Despite all my efforts in concealing myself in Tammy, I still hadn't stepped up to singing as often as she did. It was like Tammy lived in a musical all by herself. At least, that's what it was starting to seem like.

"I just...haven't warmed up," I said. "I'm waiting for the right song." I honestly didn't have an excuse. I smiled at her mother and started moving my mouth, stretching out muscles before going through the few vocal exercises I remembered from school. I fell into the "la la la la la" from Sister Act Two.

"Oh! It's your favourite song!" Tammy's mother turned the volume up. I stared at the radio. I had never even heard this song before. Oh my god. Oh my god. How was I going to do this?

I hummed along as well as I could, trying to pick up the lyrics quickly. Tammy's mother looked concerned at me. The register on this song was high, and if she sang it often, it was a wonder her parents had ears left. That was a cruel thought, but I couldn't help it. I sang it as well as I could, in a register more acceptable for Tammy's voice. Her mother was still looking at me concerned.

"Are you trying something new?" she asked.

"Yeah, actually," I said. "I thought I'd practice a different register. Got to try my skills at everything, right? I just...haven't tried it with this song yet." She was still looking at me like she didn't know me. I had to change the subject. Get her on a different track. What did moms want to talk about with their kids when they were in highschool? It had been way too long. I settled for something I always talked to my mom about. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, honey."

"What were your friends like in high school? Like, did you and your friends stay friends all through high school? Are you still friends?"

"Is this about Ally?" she asked. I shrugged, unsure of how to answer. She took that as an answer. "Honey, friendships are hard, especially in high school. People grow up and sometimes they grow apart. There's nothing wrong with that. It's okay if you grow in separate directions. I had friends I grew up with and loved, and we didn't stay friends. It happens. You'll make new friends. Like...Robin, right?"

I smiled at her. She was trying hard. "Yeah. Robin's good people. She's kind, way more kind than Ally is. I don't know what's up with her, but she's kind of mean to me."

"Ally?"

"Yeah. And I'm tired of it. That's why I didn't invite her over with Robin. I didn't want to referee a fight."

"A fight between her and you or her and Robin?"

"Probably me and her. She won't even call me Kate even though I asked. Repeatedly." Her mother took an exit off the freeway.

"That does sound like you're growing apart. There's nothing wrong with that. Especially if she's being a bitch."

"Mom!" I couldn't stop myself from laughing. That definitely wasn't the reaction I was expecting from Deanna.

"What? It's true!"

I laughed harder. Tammy had a good mom. I hoped she appreciated her because I was definitely really starting to.

The fashions were atrocious. I stared at a dress that had giant puffed sleeves. There was no way I could wear that. Not without laughing at myself every time I caught my reflection.

"What are you thinking of?"

I looked at Tammy's mother. "I don't know. I want something that suits me."

"You could always try something like this." She held out a dress. It was floor length and almost skin tight. It was a pale purple. It was actually pretty nice. "You know, something more flattering. You could change it up this year."

I had seen the dresses in Tammy's closet. They were more suited to my actual body type. Tammy had a few things that really flattered her both in style and colour. "Okay, sure." I said. "Let's try it all."

We surprisingly had a good time. I tried on different styles of dresses. Some that seemed so outrageous that I couldn't help but laugh at my reflection. It was weird seeing myself as Tammy. I stared at Tammy for a long time. What had happened to her? What had happened to me? I felt my chest clench as I stared in the mirror. This wasn't me. I would have never worn or felt that I fit well into a slinky dress. But here I was. Wearing a light silver one.

"Tammy?"

I shoved my morose thoughts out of my head as well as I could. I swallowed the lump in my throat before opening the dressing room door. "What do you think?" I asked.

Tammy's mother smiled at me. "You look beautiful." I forced a smile back.

"Let's get it then."

We had the dress over her arm, and as Tammy's mom headed to the cash register, I wandered the clothes racks. A lot of the styles were weird, but oddly enough I found a few things in my style. Tighter jeans that Tammy didn't have. Some t-shirts and nicer blouses. I needed to go shopping and find Tammy a style that would actually work for her.

"See something you like?"

I looked over my shoulder at Deanna. "Maybe. I feel like I need to change things up a bit."

"With new clothes?" With new everything. I didn't say that though. I shrugged, leaving it open to interpretation. Tammy's mother smiled at me. "Well, where should we start?"

Admittedly we went a little overboard. Tammy's mother got into the whole idea of remaking ourselves and even shopped a bit for herself. I had never spent so long in a mall in years. It was nice. It almost felt like being home in a weird way. It was a strange feeling and on the drive back, it almost felt like I wasn't really there. Like I was going through the motions, singing songs and joking with Deanna, without actively being present. It was strange. It felt like I wasn't real, like it wasn't actually me, but...there was no one else.

Tammy's father looked like he was going to have a heart attack as he watched us unload our bags. Deanna smiled at him though and started talking rapidly about our day and I watched as his shock faded and he looked between us with relief. Maybe he thought Tammy and her were rebuilding their bridges, maintaining the relationship they had between them. I wished it was true.

"I'm going to go up and put my stuff away," I called out to her parents. They were talking quietly to themselves, smiling softly and looking as in love as I imagined they were when they first started dating. "I'm also going to make a pile of stuff to throw out, okay?" They didn't react and I left them to each other.

I had to force myself to actually do what I said I was going to do. I felt like lying down, curling up into bed and sleeping until I felt like myself again. If I did that though, I knew I wouldn't get up until I absolutely had to. Honestly, it felt like I was procrastinating on admitting that I was feeling like shit again.

I went through the closet slowly. We hadn't bought too much, just a couple staple items that I felt needed to be updated and some pieces that were very eighties but they were funky and cool. Some of the patterns were insane and I was beginning to love it. It all just felt fun. Even the music felt like it was more upbeat and fun than a lot of things from my time. I turned up the radio, trying to burn the sadness from me with the music. I forced myself to dance and sing as I sorted and organized clothes. By the end of it, it almost felt like I wasn't faking it as much. I definitely felt a little productive too. The clothes that had to be thrown out, including some ridiculously oversized sweaters, some animal print and some bell-bottom jeans, all went into a plastic bag. The closet itself was organized by colour, style and seasons.

I fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Tammy had little lights and posters on her ceiling like she would lay back on it and stare, planning her future, or at least her daydreams. Where was she? Was she living my life in the city? Was she freaking out or did she reach out to my friends, asking for help and clarification? Was she dead? Was I?

[tbc]