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Chapter 34
I wandered through the stacks. I already had a couple prime choices picked but I was sort of hoping something would jump out at me. Anything to fill the time.
"Tam...Kate?"
I looked up at the voice. Standing down the aisle was Jonathan's friend. I blanked for a second on her name. Had we ever actually been introduced?
"That's me," I said lightly. "What's up?"
She moved closer. "I saw you and just...wanted to say thanks?"
"Are you sure?" I asked, trying not to smile. I wasn't trying to be rude, but she didn't sound confident. "Nevermind," I said with a wave. "What are you thanking me for?"
"You stood up for me a while ago. Before you got into that huge fight with Carol."
"Oh!" The memory came back instantly. "Right. Don't worry about it. They shouldn't have said any of that."
She gave me a smile that seemed genuine. We stood there for a moment in awkward silence.
"So, what brings you to the library?" I asked, offering relief.
"Oh, um," she tucked her hair back behind her ear. "I was just dropping off some books my brother borrowed. They're overdue and my mom demanded I take them." She glanced at the pile in my arms. "Guess yours has the same taste."
"What?"
"Your brother?" She motioned to the books. "Mike likes all those weird nerd ones too."
I assumed her brother was the same brat from the tunnels. How many other Mike's could there be? I paused for a moment, considering where I wanted to go with this. She didn't know they were for me, but I was suddenly reminded of other kids trying to tease me for reading the same kind of books when I was growing up.
"No," I said. My voice was harder than I intended. "I'm an only child. I'm getting these for me."
"Oh," she blinked in surprise. "Sorry, I just-"
"Didn't think people like fantasy?"
Her face flushed. "No, I just didn't expect you-" she cut herself off this time before she dug her hole deeper.
I tilted my head, observing her for a moment. "You know, there's nothing wrong with liking fantasy, right? The worlds that these authors have created are abundant with details, adventure and heroism. They address a huge assortment of social issues and offer possible solutions or worlds where we aren't burdened by the mistakes of our ancestors. Sometimes, that beats the world around us. It gives people an escape...and sometimes hope." I added the last bit, thinking of Samwise Gamgee.
"Would have thought you'd have enough adventure since...you know the truth." She looked alarmed suddenly. "You do know, don't you? I mean you were there that night."
"I know," I nodded, now more confident in my assumption of who her brother was. "Don't worry. Not really an ideal place to talk though." I glanced around. The problem with libraries was that sound carries and you never knew who was in the aisle next to you. "Anyways...you should check out Howl's Moving Castle or The Princess Bride. See what the fuss is about."
She made a face, scrunching up her nose and shaking her head. "I don't think so."
I tried not to sigh. "Might give you something to talk to your brother with?" I offered. "I'm sure he'd be pleasantly surprised if you took an interest. Especially with what you guys have been dealing with. Nothing wrong with bridging the trauma with something fun, right?"
She rolled her eyes. "I'm definitely not talking to that swamp rat more than I have to."
I tried not to show my agitation at that. Whether or not I liked her brother, she was his older sister. She should have been at least trying to make sure the kid was okay. "You do realize what he's been through isn't normal, right? That maybe what he needs is someone that he can actually talk to?"
"What he's been through?" She asked. "I'm the one that lost my friend! He just found some girl."
I bit the inside of my cheek, keeping myself reigned in. Marissa would not appreciate me causing a scene in her library. Even if it might be for the kid's own good. Maybe Jonathan's too.
"And his friend came back," she added.
I stepped forward. The girl in front of me was about half a foot shorter. God, Tammy was tall. It only really came in handy for moments like these. "How old are you?"
She blinked up at me in surprise. "What?"
"How old are you?" I repeated. "Because you're acting like a child."
Her mouth dropped open in shock. "I am-"
"Pain is not a competition," I cut her off. "It doesn't matter that you lost your friend and he didn't." She looked like she was going to argue so I kept going. "What matters is the fact that you're siblings. You've both gone through some traumatic shit. Have you even tried talking to him? As his sister, have you tried talking to him about the fact that he's almost been eaten by monsters? Or that both of you lost someone you care about, regardless of whether or not Will came back. How many adults around here do you think he believes he can trust now? And you won't even try to find some common ground because you don't like it?" I pulled back. "That's disappointing. I honestly expected better." I shook my head. "I don't know why," I muttered, thinking of this place. I moved around the girl and walked out of the aisle.
"Hey!" I turned back. She stormed up to me. "You have no right to say that! You have no fucking clue what I've been through."
"You're right," I said with a shrug. "I don't. But I'm pretty sure he's been in it for as long as you have. Just because he's a kid doesn't mean that he doesn't feel things. Go talk to him if you want to hash things out. Or Jonathan. I don't care, but be better. You're all in this and you're the older one. So start acting like it."
I turned and walked to the counter. She didn't follow.
I felt bad by the next day.
She was still a kid. I could have handled that much better. It didn't help that I had glanced at Tammy's diary for help in maybe figuring out her name since I remembered that the whole interaction she thanked me for was because people called her a slut for dating Steve and Jonathan. Considering Tammy's crush on Steve, I figured the girl's name would pop up somewhere in the diary. It did. Tammy had nothing nice to say about Nancy Wheeler.
I sighed. I was definitely a dick to her if she was used to Tammy. It just got under my skin that she wouldn't even consider feigning interest in her brother's interests. I didn't even like the kid from the few interactions I had with him, but I assumed after everything they'd been through, they'd want that reassurance. At least in each other. They both knew about the monsters here. That should build sibling relationships, shouldn't it?
I wasn't certain if I was being overdramatic or not. I didn't have siblings. I was making assumptions on the things I knew from friends who had siblings and the little I knew about kids. Still, I had to apologize.
It turned out that she was in one of my classes. I hadn't realized it before but maybe that was because most of my focus in Typing was trying to deal with the giant keys the typewriters used. I missed my flat keyboard every time I was in this class. Typewriters were so slow. On the other hand though, growing up using a computer gave me the skills to type quickly once I got used to the keys...even while watching out for mistakes. I made a lot of typos. I was far too used to autocorrect.
The teacher barely paid attention to the students, confident in our mundane task of copying out the sentences in the book. It was tedious. I took the opportunity of the teacher stepping out to apologize to Nancy though.
"Hey," I spoke softly as I walked up to her desk.
She looked up, unimpressed. "What?"
"I deserve that," I said. "I just wanted to apologize. I was a bitch in the library and you didn't deserve it. I'm sorry."
"What's this?" I tried not to roll my eyes at the voice. I should have known. I turned to look at Ally. "You being a bitch? Big surprise."
"I learnt from the best," I said with a smile. I wasn't entirely sure if that was true, but I had a feeling Ally definitely didn't curb Tammy's worse thoughts.
"I'm so sure," she retorted back. She cocked a hip out and rested her hand on it. Nancy stayed silent, watching the two of us. She looked down at Nancy. "Did she tell you about her fantasies of your ex?"
"No, because why the fuck would I do that?" I snapped. "I said I was a bitch, not trying to disturb her. Besides, that's over."
"Why, because he's actually talking to you now?" Ally sneered.
"Because I'm not interested. It's called growing up and moving on, something you've clearly never experienced." I glanced at Nancy. "Can I add to my apology for all of this and anything I've said in the past?"
"Does it matter?" Nancy asked.
"It always matters when it comes to an apology," I said.
"Oh my god! Do you ever get over yourself?" Ally cried out.
"This coming from you?" I snapped back. God, what did Tammy see in this friendship?
"Can you both leave me alone?" Nancy asked. "I have work to do."
"I'm sure your freak boyfriend can help," Ally said.
"Hey!" Both of us exclaimed.
"Enough!" We all turned to see the teacher standing at the front of the class. Shit. "Detention. All of you."
"What?" Nancy exclaimed. "I didn't do anything! I was sitting here!"
The woman gave her a pointed look. Nancy glared up at me as if this was my fault.
"Sorry," I said again to her. Maybe I could get her out of it if I talked to the teacher once class actually finished.
"Way to go, Tammy," Ally muttered before pushing past me. I rolled my eyes and went back to my seat.
Talking to the teacher did not work. I was already regretting having to tell Tammy's parents that I got detention. Again. Hopefully, they'd give me a pass since I got it while trying to apologize. That had to be worth something, right? Unfortunately, that meant I had to actually stick around during Study Hall.
I got there first. The teacher running the detention motioned for me to take a seat. I grabbed one next to the window and waited. Nancy was the next to arrive. She took a seat on the opposite side of the classroom. I didn't blame her. Some kid I didn't know showed up next and then Ally. She sat at the back. The teacher took stock of all of us and left, saying he'd be back and we needed to stay in our seats.
"You know, sugar lips, if you want to spend time with me, all you have to do is ask." Billy strutted forwards, dropping himself into the seat in front of me. He turned around to face me and put his feet up on the desk in front of him.
"The fact that I didn't should be obvious," I said. "Don't you think?"
"I think you like the chase," he grinned, leaning slightly towards me. "You should let me catch you. We'd have fun."
"Billy," I said gently. "It's not that I don't believe you….but I don't believe you. I think you'd have fun and I'd just be there."
"God, Tammy," a voice called out from behind me. "Always the bitch, aren't you?"
I tried not to sigh, gritting my teeth to keep myself from snapping back. It didn't work. I turned in my chair to face her. "Why are you so obsessed with me?"
"What?" She made a disgusted face. "As if!"
"And yet you keep talking." I rolled my eyes and turned back. At this point, I was more willing to talk to Billy than deal with her again.
"Another fan?" he asked, nodding to Ally.
"An old friend," I muttered. "One who can't understand the concept of a name change." I raised my voice at the last bit. It was fucking annoying every time she called me Tammy.
"It's a stupid fucking name," Ally snapped back.
"It's not that hard," I said. "You're just being obstinate."
"Big words, Tammy. You swallow a thesaurus to sound smart?"
"You shouldn't say shit," Billy called out. "But you won't shut up."
"What?" she sounded taken back.
"You're always talking 'cause you know if you stop, nobody would notice. Nobody fucking cares what you have to say."
I stared at Billy in surprise. Why the hell was he lashing out at Ally? "I don't need you to fight my battles," I said softly. "It's fine."
"It's not fine," he said, voice at regular volume. "She's talking shit. Knows your worth ten of her. She'll always be running after someone to make her feel special, feel seen and hating them when they get tired of her and her fucking whining."
This had to be more than just being irritated on my behalf. He was aiming for the jugular.
"You're a fucking asshole!" Ally snapped back. Her voice wobbled as she said it and her face had gone red.
"It's the truth," he sneered. "Nobody fucking likes you and you're taking it out on Kate. That is her name unless you're determined to be too stupid to remember it."
"You're being way harsh," Nancy spoke up from across the room. "Whatever's going on is between them. You don't need to stick your nose in it."
"Who the fuck are you?" he asked.
She sniffed. "Nancy Wheeler."
I watched as he rolled his eyes. "Harrington's ex," he said. "Heard shit about you too. Heard you downgraded."
I felt like I was watching a train wreck. Something out of control that I couldn't stop.
Nancy scowled back at Billy. "No one asked you, you wastoid."
Billy dropped his feet from the desk next to him and leaned towards her. "No one fucking needs to. Like you have shit to say. You even have any friends?"
Her scowl deepened but she didn't answer.
"Leave it," I said to him, remembering her friend who disappeared. "She didn't do anything."
"I don't need your help," Nancy snapped at me.
"This is the shit I'm talking about," Billy retorted back. "You duck around with your sad little face trying to gain fucking sympathy while you're stringing Harrington along? I don't even like the asshole but he deserves fucking more than you sneaking around with another loser thinking nobody fucking notices."
"What the fuck would you know?" Nancy snarled. "You're a future burnout chasing a girl who doesn't even like you."
"I'm not in fucking denial, princess," Billy grinned at her. "I'll win her over," he winked at me. "But you? You're acting like you're a goody fucking two shoes who does nothing wrong. Tell me, did you and the loser actually murder the girl who went missing?"
She stood up. "Fuck you!"
"Fuck you," he said back. "Don't fucking think you're better than the rest of us just because you want to be. You're in the hick town too."
"Can you stop?" I asked him, trying to end the fight. "I don't know what crawled up your ass and died, but they don't need this."
"Oh Queenie," he turned to face me and I felt my stomach drop. Fuck. "You're not perfect either. You're a babe, but you're stuck up too. You think you got everyone here pegged, don't you? But you won't let a single fucking soul get even an inch close."
I blinked in surprise. I was not expecting that. "So?"
"So you're a bitch. Just fucking admit it. You're a dead-end girl in a dead-end town, too fucking scared to try to leave. Sooner or later, people are going to figure out how hard you have to try and then you're going to be like everyone else. Get off your high horse now before you fucking trip."
I leaned back in my chair. "You're right, I am a bitch," I agreed. His eyes narrowed like he wasn't sure where I was going but he knew he wasn't going to like it. "I'll think about what you said." It was his turn to look surprised. He had a point though. He was vicious with his words, but aside from the cruel way he threw them, he wasn't entirely wrong. At least, not with what I knew. If that was how people saw me, maybe I needed to adjust something or at least be less predictable.
The teacher came in at that moment, drawing all of our attention back to him. Billy scowled and turned to face away from me. The one random dude we had all ignored finally seemed to relax after watching the fallout. I thought I heard Ally sniffle but I didn't turn to look. She wouldn't appreciate being noticed if she was crying.
I looked out the window, thinking about it. It wasn't the first time I had been told to let people in since I've been here. I had planned on working on mending that bridge with Robin, but I hadn't really put a lot of effort into it. Aside from her, I didn't actually have friends here. If Tammy's aunt was right, and I was stuck here, I needed to fix that. It would be super fucking weird if the only people I hung around with were a couple adults and some kids. I suddenly realized how disturbing that actually looked. I definitely needed some friends that were my, well, Tammy's age.
I glanced around the room quickly. The choices were not appealing. I needed to fix things with Robin.
[tbc]
