A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! I really appreciate all of the love this fic has gotten. I'm sorry it's been a couple of months since the last update. I got stuck on this chapter for the longest time and over Christmas, we got exposed to Covid and then actually caught it at the very beginning of January (seriously. Jan 1 started showing symptoms). It wrecked me a bit. I had no energy for anything and in the second week of Jan, my grandma passed away. So, it was a bit of a disaster but I'm finally starting to feel a bit closer to normal. I absolutely couldn't have gotten this done with elliesmeow so huge shout out to her!
Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, you can find me on tumblr at asirensrage where I post various prompts, moodboards and manips as well as answer questions and keep people updated on things.

Chapter 36

I finally had the gifts purchased or made, and wrapped. Time seemed to be flying by, but maybe because I was submerging myself into the season. Or trying to. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about how I was going to miss my family and the few traditions we had. I wasn't going to watch Die Hard and listen as my dad argued about why it was a Christmas movie while my mother insisted that the Sound of Music was the proper one to watch. Neither of them would accept Winter Wonderland as an option, despite the fact that it actually was one.

The martial arts classes were on hold for the holiday which, according to Deanna, gave ample time to decorate the tree and make cookies. It was apparently tradition to pick a tree and decorate it together. It was a nice idea, but the process left a lump in my throat and an emptiness in my chest. Decorating a tree was something I did with my own father back home. We had decorations that we all had picked up over the years. It always looked like a chaotic disaster with novelty ornaments. Tammy's parents had a pristine and well decorated tree that would have looked like it belonged in an old magazine if it wasn't for the homemade decorations from Tammy's childhood and a couple old ones that looked like there were from Russia. I wasn't sure I was right, but it was achingly familiar. I dug my hand into some of the pine needles at one point, desperate to hold back the tears and try to anchor myself back in this body. It didn't entirely work but I held off enough until I could hide in my room.

It was easier to ignore what I was missing if I kept myself busy. Which is why I offered Tammy's place when Veronica said she was trying to figure out where to host the Christmas exchange she was planning.

"Will your parents really be cool with it?" she asked.

I thought back to the relief on their faces when I went out to play mini golf. "Yeah, I'll confirm it tonight and let you know."

"Bitchin'," she grinned. "It's gonna be Robin, me, Carl, Manny and you can invite Steve if he wants to come."

"Sounds good." Hopefully this would help bridge that gap with Robin that felt like it grew ten times bigger since the last time we spoke. Maybe if she saw me and Steve as friends she'd stop believing the nonsense Debbie had gone on about. Then again, Robin wasn't the only one that went a bit off the rails after that trip. I had to make sure this went well.

The beauty of Christmas break was that there wasn't much homework and I got a break from the oddity that was school. Billy hadn't spoken to me since detention but I felt his eyes on me at times. I ignored it. Steve accepted the invitation to the party I gave him. Apparently he didn't really have any plans for the holiday aside from some Christmas soiree his parents were throwing.

The party was set to be on the 22nd. Tammy's parents had approved it with only a few questions. Deanna had asked if we wanted christmas cookies for it…and once I asked Veronica, she came up with a new idea. We were all going to bring ingredients and bake cookies together. It was going to be a disaster. I kind of couldn't wait.

I figured the Sinclair's had their own traditions, so I stopped by on the 21st to drop off Erica and Lucas's presents. Deanna made a very pointed reminder to call before I showed up in case they had guests of family over. Interrupting that was apparently a no-go. Luckily, they were home and okay with me stopping by.

"Kate! Come on in!" I was ushered inside by Mr. Sinclair. "How are you? Enjoying the holidays?"

"So far," I agreed. "You?"

"It's always a fun time of year, even if the missus has too many plans," he stage whispered the last part.

"I heard that," Mrs. Sinclair said as she came into the hallway. "Merry Christmas, Kate."

"Merry Christmas," I gave them both a smile. "I just stopped by to drop off some gifts for the kids."

"Oh, you didn't have to do that," Mrs. Sinclair said.

I gave a shrug. "I wanted to."

"Lucas! Erica! Kate's here!" Mr. Sinclair called up the stairs. There was a moment of silence before we all heard running above us heading for the stairs. Erica appeared at the top of the stairs before running down them.

"Kate!"

"Hey kid," I smiled as she crashed into me, hugging me tightly.

"What'd you bring me?"

"Erica!" her mother sounded scandalized. I just laughed.

"It's okay. Here." I handed her the larger package. "Merry Christmas."

She grinned widely and took it before turning to look at her parents. "Can I open it now?"

"Sure," her father said. It took the girl about three seconds to rip apart the wrapping paper and reveal the box. Lucas showed up as she knelt on the floor and tore open the cardboard box. It was a little impressive since I thought I had taped the box pretty effectively.

I tossed Lucas his present with a Merry Christmas and as he started opening it, Erika shrieked.

"This is amazing!"

I couldn't stop my smile as she held up the denim jacket I had bedazzled to show her parents. It had "amERICA" on the back in multicoloured jewels. It was a little much for my taste but I knew she'd like it.

"Thank you!" She barrelled into me, hugging me tightly. I returned it quickly before she let go. "I can't wait to show my friends!"

"Wicked!" Lucas had finally uncovered his gift. I hadn't been sure what to get the kid, but I couldn't make his sister something and get him nothing.

"It's a survival kit," I said. "Just basic things." I gave a wink towards Erica since we had already made one for her together.

Both the adult Sinclairs looked at me in surprise. I shrugged. "Can't be too careful," I tried to explain. "It's mainly camping type of stuff." I didn't tell them that Erica's survival kit held a lot more.

I took the time to stop in and drop off the other gifts I had. I could have done it after Christmas but this gave me something to do and keeping busy kept my mind off of how different this year was going to be in every single way.

I stopped by the cabin first. Hopper was working but I was aiming to see the kid. She opened the door as soon as I finished knocking.

"Kate!"

"Hey," I gave her a smile, trying not to focus on the relief I could see in her expression. God, this kid really needed more in her life. I had to convince Hopper to at least let her make some friends or something. "I can't stay too long," I ignored the way her expression fell slightly and continued. "But I brought you something." I pulled out the wrapped gift from behind my back and presented it to her. "Ta da!"

El looked confused. "What for?"

"For Christmas."

She frowned slightly. "It's not Christmas."

"Not yet, but since I won't be here on the actual day…you get it now."

"I can open it now?"

"Sure," I gave a shrug. She grinned at me before tearing open the wrapping. Had to appreciate someone who knew what they wanted and didn't waste time trying to save paper. I bent down to catch some of the pieces she dropped so we could throw them out. When I straightened up, she was staring at the box. I couldn't place the expression on her face. "You okay?"

"...it's my first gift. Christmas gift," she explained.

"Well, do you like it?" I asked. I had given her a set of puffy paints and a bunch of cookies that Deanna and I had made together. She hugged me tightly, the force of her movement forward made me rock back. I smiled softly to myself as I hugged her back. "Merry Christmas El."

I had a gift for Max. The problem was that I wasn't actually allowed near her house. Well, I was, I just didn't want to go near her step dad. Also, Hopper basically told me to stay out of the man's way. Considering I now had a plan to convince Hopper to loosen his grip on El, I needed to listen to him. I made a mental note to bring the gifts to school once it started back up.

Instead, I went to visit Joyce.

Her youngest kid opened the door when I knocked. We both stared at each other for a moment. I don't know why I was a little thrown to see him, but it was likely the fact that out of everyone who lived there, the youngest was opening the door. They really had no sense of wariness in this decade.

"Hey, you're Will, right?"

He looked a little wary once I asked. Smart kid. "Yeah…"

"You drew that picture. Super Bob."

Recognition seemed to hit. "Yeah. You're the one Dustin asked it for?"

"Steve asked Dustin and gave it to me. Thank you. I…it meant a lot," I said softly. "He was a good friend."

"Uh, you're welcome?" He looked uncomfortable and I had to remind myself that he was a kid with his own traumatic experiences going on. He likely didn't want to get emotional.

I sniffed, trying to ignore the lump that was slowly growing at the base of my throat. "Is your mom home?"

"Uh, yeah." He paused for a moment before he opened the door further. "Come in." He closed the door after me once I took a couple steps in. It looked nicer now that it wasn't filled with people and chaos. Especially since I didn't need to drag any bodies out. At least, not that I knew.

"Mom!" Will yelled. I winced at the sound. "I think she's in the back."

"Will?" Someone yelled back. There were footsteps running before Johnathan slid into view. He looked frazzled, eyes instantly finding his brother. "You okay?" Nancy appeared behind him. Fuck. I did not anticipate that. She looked just as surprised to see me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Just dropping something off for Joyce," I said, lifting the box in my arms to make the point. It was a bit heavy but I would much rather hold the box than be awkward with nothing to do with my hands.

"Kate?" Johnathan finally seemed to clue into the fact that his brother was only trying to announce the visitor. "Hi. You're here to see my mom?"

"Who else?" I asked before I could stop myself. "Sorry. Yes. Will said she was here?"

"Yeah, she's napping. Will, go get her."

"Oh!" I adjusted the box in my arms. "No, that's fine. Let her sleep. I'll just come back another day."

"Is that for her?" Jonathan asked before moving forward. "I can take it."

My grip tightened automatically. "No, I…I have to explain it," I said.

"Will, go tell mom Kate's here." The kid took off without a word.

"No," I tried to protest.

Jonathan just shook his head. "She'd want to see you. Just give her a minute."

We stood there in awkward silence. Nancy kept looking at me, as if she expected me to be rude again. I held back the quip about taking a picture. She was obviously a guest here and a friend of Jonathan's. It was also weird realizing I was the tallest one in the room. Luckily, I didn't have to wait long. Joyce appeared, trying to fix her hair and wake up as she entered the room with Will trailing behind her.

"Oh! Kate! I didn't expect you." She came over and gave me a wide smile. "How are you doing?"

I shrugged, aware that her question was more loaded than it sounded. "I'm okay. I just wanted to give you your christmas gift." I gave her a small smile and lifted the box slightly. "It's a bit heavy, so where do you want it?"

She motioned for me to put it on the table. "You really didn't have to," she said.

"I did. Open it," I motioned to where I put it down. "You'll understand once I…explain." That got me a confused look but she dutifully sat down on the couch and started to unwrap it. Everyone else seemed to move forward in anticipation.

When it was finally unwrapped, only Johnathan looked at me without confusion. "It's your shop project." It had been completed before school ended for winter break. It looked like a small Tardis. I used the metal I found in the junkyard for the Phone Booth label and the design of the doors.

"It is," I nodded. I tried to swallow the tightness out of my throat. "It's Doctor Who themed. I know it's not your style but I originally made it for Bob and I thought…I thought you'd like it. It's a stereo cabinet."

Joyce's hand flew to her mouth and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I felt my own eyes start to burn as tears threatened to build. I sniffed and looked away. There was so much more that I couldn't actually say in front of our small audience. It was a token of remembrance and thanks. Joyce had taken Bob's place in my life with her understanding.

She got up and hugged me tightly. I returned it with the same ferocity, trying to tell her without words.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Thank you," I whispered back. I cleared my throat as I pulled back. "I hope you like it." A quick glance around told me that both Jonathan and Nancy were confused, but Will seemed like he understood. Maybe because he knew that Bob and I had been friends. Still, I had the feeling that Nancy didn't like the fact that I was still there. "I should get going. I'm getting the house ready for…the holidays," I finished lamely. I didn't want to say a party since no one here was invited. "My aunt is coming down." That wasn't technically a lie. If I thought the party itself was going to be a disaster, it had nothing on Debra's presence. I just hoped she didn't go on about the seasons meaning renewal or something. That'd be depressing. More than this was.

"Are you sure?" Joyce asked. "I feel like I haven't seen you in a while. Do you want some coffee?"

I gave her a smile. "I got to go, but I'll come back and we can chat." I turned to leave before I remembered something. "Oh!" I looked back at Joyce. I dug a paper out of my back pocket. "My mom is having a…get together, like a Ladies Night next week. She asked me to pass along this invite. It's just a bunch of women getting together, talking and having a good time. My aunt will be there too. You should come."

"Oh," Joyce looked legitimately surprised as she took it. "I don't know…"

"You should go," I said. "No kids allowed, just adults. It's my mom, Marisa, Flo…I don't know who else she invited but it'll be fun. I think. Maybe you'll just drink wine and complain about…work or men," I shrugged. That's what my friends and I did back home. "Anyways, think about it." I looked over at the others. "See you guys at school." I waved before finally leaving. That was awkward.

"Are you sure you have everything?"

It was the third time Tammy's mother asked us that.

"Mrs. Thompson," Veronica gave her a wide smile. "We have it all! It's copacetic!"

I gave her a look, confused at why she used that term of all things. Veronica ignored me so I turned back to Deanna. "Don't worry. Go for dinner. Have fun! I promise we won't burn the house down."

"Best not," Samuel said. "I don't think insurance covers cookie disasters." I tried not to laugh as Deanna swatted him lightly. He winked over her head at me. "Come, Deanna. Let the kids have their party. They don't want us old fogies around."

"You're not old," I pointed out. "But yes, go. Everyone's going to start coming soon." We had told the others to arrive in the next half hour. Veronica had shown up early to help get it ready. I wasn't sure what she was expecting to do, but she had arrived with extra bowls and pans.

Deanna leaned forward and kissed my cheek. "We'll be back later. Have fun."

"We will," I said, trying to usher them out. "You too."

Samuel opened the door and we all paused, not expecting someone on the other side.

Robin stood there, an old laundry basket in her arms that looked like it was full of supplies. She looked just as surprised as we were. "Hi?"

"Come on in," Samuel motioned her to enter.

"Good to see you, Robin," Deanna smiled before looking back at me pointedly. I nodded and they finally left. It suddenly felt a bit strained now that we were alone.

"Hey," I gave a nervous smile and motioned for Robin to follow me. "Merry Christmas! Veronica is already in the kitchen. You can drop your stuff there."

"Thanks. Merry Christmas. Thanks for inviting me."

"Robin!" Veronica peered out from the kitchen. "Glad you made it. You know what cookie you're making?"

"Chocolate crinkle. You?"

"Gingerbread!" Veronica grinned. "I'm amped. This is gonna be so fun." She moved over to the boombox I had dragged down from Tammy's room and set up in the corner. "Speaking of fun…" She dug around the shoebox that held some tapes before pulling one out and putting it in. It took a few seconds before it started to play. Veronica instantly started dancing. I glanced over at Robin who gave me an exasperated look. I couldn't stop myself from smiling back.

"Girls just wanna have fun," I teased, nudging her slightly. She smirked before putting the box down.

We danced around the kitchen as we tried to set up stations on the counters and table. There wasn't going to be enough room, but we'd take turns. Veronica managed to keep things moving and lighthearted until the others came. The boys arrived all together.

"Merry Christmas!" They all shouted as I opened the door. I blinked in shock. They were laden down with supplies as well.

"Merry Christmas! Come in!"

Cyndi Lauper was still playing as I pointed the way to the kitchen. Carl led and I heard Veronica cheer before I saw her. Her enthusiasm was contagious. Christmas seemed to be her season. Actually, everything seemed to be.

"Where should I put this?" Steve asked, lifting the box in his arms slightly.

"Kitchen," I said. "Hope you know what cookie you're making. Veronica is quizzing everyone."

"Uh, chocolate chip," he said. "Where are your parents?"

"They went out for dinner with Barb's."

"Ah," he nodded. "That's….that's nice."

I shrugged. "Hopefully." I moved to the kitchen and Steve followed.

It took five minutes before Steve, Carl and Manny were singing along to Cyndi Lauper while I tried not to cry laughing. Robin was already starting to make her cookies while Veronica randomly did back up vocals. There was already flour spilled and Buster ran out of the kitchen looking for cover.

"Okay, okay!" I called out once I finally caught my breath. Manny turned down the music since he was closest to it. "Thanks. Okay! Robin's already in progress. There are three other spots and I say we turn on some Christmas music…since it's Christmas. As long as it's not Last Christmas. I fucking hate that song."

Both Veronica and Robin looked at me in surprise. "Really?"

"I swear, if I have to listen to it, I will kill someone."

"I want to veto Santa Baby then," Robin said. "That song creeps me out."

"I don't like the Chipmunks," Steve offered. We all looked at him in surprise. He just shrugged.

"I hate My Two Front Teeth. That kid's voice is the worst," Carl said.

"If we're picking, can we skip Elvis's Hawaiian Christmas? Whenever it plays at my house my mama and tias go on about how masculine and virile Elvis was in his youth, 'muy macho," he made a face. "It haunts me."

"Done." I glanced around. "Anything else?"

"If anyone needs to put theirs in the fridge, they should start first," Carl said.

"Oh yeah!" Veronica looked around a bit sheepishly at the outburst. "That's me."

"I don't," Steve said. "I don't think." He frowned slightly before he pulled out the bag of chocolate chips in his box.

"Mine don't," Manny said. "It's my mom's recipe. She went over it like ten times. They also made me the dulce de leche so it'd save time."

"Well okay. There's like three spots so we'll clean as we go and watch the time. Also, let's make a list of what everyone brought, like the tools that are expected to return home so nothing gets forgotten. Christmas dinner still needs to be made and nobody wants to be without their utensils, right?"

"Let's begin."

Despite the plans to clean as we went, the kitchen still managed to be a disaster. It wasn't a big deal. Everyone was trying to clean and we wrote out a list of times we needed to check on the cookies in the oven. We turned on the radio and there were more than a few times that one of us scrambled to the radio to change the station and preserve the peace.

Carl kept cracking jokes. Veronica shared the gossip she had heard around the school, particularly about the football team and her ex boyfriend. She also was amazing at decorating cookies. It was a little ridiculous and hilarious. She iced gingerbread men and reindeer, giving some of them googly eyes and others ridiculous expressions. Robin fell silent a few times, mainly watching the rest of us. It was easy to forget about the fight when the others kept things moving.

Manny had tried to hide the remaining dulce de leche he had once he made his cookies. Only because he gave all of us a taste and it was amazing. Steve asked to have the rest for his coffee. Manny had yet to agree.

The biggest surprise was the chocolate chip cookies Steve made. They were like crack. None of us had seen him add anything to it but he also didn't actually seem to have a recipe except for what was printed on the bag. It became a bit of a game to see who could steal the most cookies. Especially when Veronica distracted him by demanding to know his secret. Her and Carl made him a crown out of paper and declared him the Sugar King. Steve protested because of his hair…but still ended up wearing it.

"I think I'm dying."

"I'm going to puke."

"Bathroom's over there," I motioned down the hall as I tuned back into the conversation. We had all piled on or around the couch once we had finally stopped baking, dividing the cookies for gifting, and fully cleaned the kitchen. Robin was in the middle of Veronica and I on the couch. She was trying to braid Veronica's hair. I wasn't sure how well it was going considering Veronica had her legs over the arm of the couch and her head in Robin's lap. Buster had decided that Carl was his new best friend now that the boys were sitting on the floor at our feet.

"Please don't talk about puking," Robin said. "You're going to make me sick."

They weren't wrong. All of us had eaten way too many cookies and there still somehow seemed to be enough for an army left in the kitchen. At this point, I never wanted to look at another one ever again.

"We can't all be sick," I said. "I don't have enough bathrooms for that."

There was a moment of silence that was filled with the sounds of Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer that was playing on the TV.

"What type of games do reindeer play?" Steve asked. There was a beat before the rest of us laughed.

"Hazing games," I offered.

"How do you haze a reindeer?" Veronica sounded half asleep.

"Dump a bucket of water on him and then throw him into a snow drift?" Carl half asked.

"Dare him to headbut a narwhal?" Manny said. I snorted at the imagery.

"Play monopoly and cheat as the banker?" They all looked at me. I shrugged. I knew nothing about hazing.

"If I was Rudolph, I would have told them to get bent," Veronica said. "They treat him like dirt."

"He's a kid too," Robin said. "At least, I think he is."

I looked over at her. "They make him seem like one." Despite the tender raw edges of our friendship, the day felt like it helped. At least we were talking again.

"Assholes," Steve muttered to the movie.

I rested my head on the back of the couch, listening to the others as they gave random comments. I was so worried about what I was going to miss this season. I usually spent Christmas with my own parents, in my own body, but this was nice.

[tbc]