A/N: Thank you all so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying this. I hope you like this chapter as well. Please let me know what you think! As always, you can find me on tumblr at "asirensrage".

Chapter 37

"Tammy?"

I blinked, feeling someone shake me slightly. I looked up to see Deanna smiling down at me, a camera held down at her side. The TV was playing some black and white movie. My arm was linked with Robin's and we were both leaning into each other. Veronica was passed out, in the same position I last saw her in but Robin's other hand was in her hair. The braiding was never finished. I shifted slightly, trying to wake myself back up and realized there was a weight on my feet. The guys were still here.

Steve was using my feet as a pillow. His arms were wrapped around them, which explained why I felt like I couldn't move. His crown was somehow still balanced on his hair. Carl was curled up with Buster, his back to Steve's. Manny was passed out on the other side, his legs propped up on an empty armchair. It almost looked like he had fallen off of it. The only way I knew he hadn't was because he was using a couple backpacks as a blanket.

"Hey," Deanna drew my attention back to her. "You guys have a good time?"

"Yeah," I whispered. I moved slowly, trying not to disturb anyone. "Let me wake everyone up. Send them home."

"Okay," she smiled at me. "If anyone needs a ride, your dad can drive them."

I nodded slowly.

Robin was the easiest to wake up since she was still leaning against me. I nudged her a few times as I moved to sit up better. It also caused Steve's head to fall off my feet onto the floor.

"Sorry!" I whispered as he groaned.

"What time is it?" Robin asked, still sounding as though she was asleep. I heard Veronica moan before she tried to force herself to sit up.

"I don't know. Late," I offered. "They're home."

Steve groaned again before sitting up and smacking Carl. "Wake up." He also reached over and shook Manny.

"If anyone needs a ride…my dad can drive you." I offered as I tried to wake up.

We all stumbled around, slowly getting to our feet.

"I'll take a ride," Robin said.

"I can drive you," Steve offered. "I brought them," he motioned to Carl and Manny who were helping tidy up the mess we left.

"I'll take you," Veronica yawned. "I drove too."

"Thanks."

It didn't take long before we managed to tidy up the living room. I appreciated the fact that they stayed to help. It might have been from a desire to wake up a bit before they actually went home but I wasn't about to complain.

Everyone took their share of the cookies and I ran for a box I had under the tree before they left. They all stared at me in surprise as I handed them each one of the wrapped books.

"What is this?"

"I thought we weren't doing presents?" Carl asked.

I waved them off. "It's just something small. It's all the same, I just figured with this being senior year…" To be honest, it was Deanna's idea. I just ran with it.

Veronica started to tear off the wrapping, which prompted the others. It was an empty scrapbook, but there was a compass on the front with the words 'Roadmap to Your Dreams'. It was a little cheesy but Veronica lunged at me with a hug.

"This is ace!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Glad you like it. Now go home before the sheriff gets mad at me when your parents all call looking for you." They all gave each other bemused looks, aside from Robin, who frowned slightly in confusion.

"Merry Christmas!" They all called out at various times as they left with more than what they came with. When I finally closed the door, the house went silent. It was eerie after spending the day with it filled with music, cookies and just teens being teens. I had forgotten who I actually was in all the holiday chaos.

"You okay, honey?"

My head shot up to look at Deanna who was coming down the stairs. "Yeah," I answered automatically. "How was dinner?" I asked, hoping to reroute the conversation so she didn't ask what was wrong.

Deanna moved to the living room and turned off the TV. "It was…good to see them."

"But?"

"It was hard, as well," she admitted. "They are struggling and I think many have turned from them. People don't know how to treat someone who lost their child." Deanna walked over to me, cupping her hands gently on my cheeks as she smiled up at me. "I couldn't imagine losing you, Tammy. I never want to have to."

My throat constricted painfully as she stared and gave me a small smile. "You won't," I said hoarsely, promising something I knew was already a lie that curdled in my stomach.

"Just be careful, okay?"

"Always." Careful was my middle name. At least it was here.

She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. "Go get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

I nodded, unable to say anything further. Tammy's mother let me go and I watched her head for the kitchen before I made my way upstairs. Guilt crept up and threatened to consume me. Barb's parents were running on the hope that she'd return. Were mine doing the same back home? Were they looking for some explanation? I pictured my father sitting at the table, unable to even have any of his favourite shows playing in the background because we used to watch them together. I imagined my mother, who sometimes seemed cold in the way she dealt with things, crying because I was gone. Would they also sell their house to try to find me?

My heart hurt. I dug my nails into my thigh as I sat on Tammy's bed, trying to stop myself from sobbing. The reminder that I was still Tammy did not help. I lay in the dark, buried under the covers after going through the motions to get ready for bed, but I didn't sleep. I couldn't, afraid I would dream of them and would still wake up here. I stared at the window and the reflected Christmas lights until the sun rose.

I felt like shit.

It was the easiest way to put it. My head pounded with the reminder and guilt of my own parents and it ate away at me. I left the house under the excuse of walking Buster. Anything to get away from the careful way both of Tammy's parents were looking at me. The dinner with Barb's parents must have left a lasting impression. One that I did not want to be a part of. I didn't need their scrutiny.

Buster did not seem to mind that I used him for an escape as long as we didn't go near the woods. It was a deal I easily made. We walked slowly through the shoveled snow, stopping occasionally so he could smell something. I wasn't sure what he was looking for but the hound seemed determined to find it. It must have been nice to be a dog. At least he didn't have to worry about being something he wasn't.

A car slowed next to me before stopping. Irritation rose up at the intrusion and I turned, half expecting to be cat called. I stopped in surprise to see Steve leaning over to the passenger side and trying to roll down the window.

"Hey!"

"Hey," I greeted. I wasn't in the mood for company or being nice. Honestly, I felt like climbing back into Tammy's bed where the pillows still smelled wrong after all these months and go back to praying I went home.

"You okay?" He asked, frowning slightly.

"Not really," I admitted without thinking. "What's up?" We had just seen each other the other day. I didn't think anything new had come up in the time apart unless there were monsters running around again. God, I hoped not.

"Uh, nothing," he said after a moment. "You want a ride? You look like you've been out here awhile and you're…well, you're pretty far from your place."

Was I? I looked around, suddenly tuning in to where I was. I didn't recognize the neighbourhood. How long had I been walking? I bent down to check on Buster. The dog was just as stubborn as usual and didn't even try to turn home despite the fact he was shaking a bit.

"Shit, yeah." I looked at Steve. "You don't mind the dog, do you?"

"No," he got out of the car. "Let me just grab the emergency blanket from the trunk. Last thing I need is my dad on my ass for dog hair on the back seat."

"You don't hav–"

"It's fine, Kate." He opened the trunk and pulled out this hideous looking yellow fleece blanket. It took him a minute to lay it across the backseat before he came and opened the back passenger door.

"Thanks," I gave him a small smile. "Go on," I moved forward and motioned Buster in. He hopped up and settled down quickly on the blanket. I tucked a bit over him, just trying to keep him warm. "I didn't realize…" I trailed off. I didn't mean to make him cold. I figured he would have dragged me home when he wanted to go back.

Steve didn't say anything. He closed the back door and then opened the passenger one for me.

"Thanks," I said again. I sat down and he closed the door before walking to his side. He got into the driver's seat.

"So, uh, what's wrong?" he asked once he started the car. He glanced at me. "I mean, you seemed okay yesterday. Something happen?"

I paused, unsure of how to answer. "My parents had dinner with Barb's," I finally said.

"Ah," he nodded as if that explained everything. "Must have been weird."

"I wasn't there but they keep…staring at me."

Steve didn't respond. It took a moment before I realized that he likely didn't have the same problem, even without the whole body snatching thing. His parents seemed like they were rarely around.

"Sorry," I said. "I just…I don't know."

"It's okay."

It wasn't but neither of us bothered to continue. We sat in silence, listening to the radio as we got closer to where Tammy lived. I recognized the neighborhood. There were some kids playing in the snow outside of the Sinclair's house when Steve stopped at a stop sign. It was only once I saw one of them see us and aim a snowball at the car that I realized I knew them as well.

"Those mother-" Steve cut himself off.

"That kid's an asshole," I said. It was Mike who threw it. Of course it was. We both paused and looked at each other.

"Would it be bad if I just got out and…" Steve suggested.

"They did start it," I offered with a shrug. "Just park first." He grinned at me and I looked back to check on Buster who had fallen asleep in the backseat. "We need to crack open a window for him before we do anything."

"We?"

"Yup."

I got out of the car and headed for the kids. Dustin ran up to greet us.

"What are you doing here?"

"Thought we were invited," I said. "With the whole snowball while driving which really isn't safe."

"I didn't do it!"

I rolled my eyes at how fast he tried to save himself. "Still happened."

Dustin peered up at me. "You look awful."

I stared back down, unimpressed. "Thanks."

He opened his mouth to say something else but got walloped in the face with a snowball. I looked over to see Steve picking up another handful.

"That's not how you talk to a girl," he said pointedly. "Jesus, no wonder you need help."

"Hey!" Dustin protested.

"He's got a point," I said. "You were rude."

A snowball hit me in the chest. I looked past Dustin to see Lucas laughing hysterically. "Oh it's on."

I bent down to pick up some snow. Dustin ran for cover with his friends while Steve threw the one he made. We were outnumbered but we were stronger and had more reach. It helped with aiming.

It didn't take long to devolve into an all out war. Thankfully, backup arrived. Erica had looked out of her window at one point and saw us. She was immediately by my side throwing snowballs at her brother with feral zeal before I had even seen her leave her house. Max had shown up soon after, having previously been invited by Lucas, and joined the three of us.

"That's not fair!" one of the boys cried out.

"Steve should be on our side!" Dustin argued.

"Against them? I don't think so." Steve threw another snowball, this time hitting Mike in the face. I couldn't help but laugh at the kid's expression. "Besides, they didn't hit my car."

It got worse. I eventually had to pry Lucas and Erica apart, both of them trying to suffocate the other in the snow. Erica was winning. Lucas seemed embarrassed, especially when Max came over laughing and gave his sister a high five before going to talk to him. Will had slowed down, taking a seat on the stairs and watching as the others continued fighting until we all eventually stopped. Everyone looked bedraggled, covered in snow, but the kids were laughing about it and I realized I felt better. Not majorly, but enough.

"Alright," I said, pushing myself up to a standing position. "Good game but I think it's time we go," I motioned to Steve who nodded. "You guys dry off and try not to get sick." I started to walk back towards the car before I remembered Max. "Hey, can I talk to you for a quick second?" I looked over at Steve. "I'll meet you at the car." He nodded and left me to it.

Max followed me away from the others. "What's up?"

"You busy in a couple days? Say after Christmas but before New Year's?"

"No."

"Would you be willing to meet a friend of mine? She's your age, probably heard of her from them," I motioned to the other kids. "Her name's El. She's a bit sheltered at the moment, but I thought you two could meet. See if you like each other."

Max's face screwed up, as if she didn't really want to agree.

"You don't have to."

"No, I will," she said. She didn't give a reason. "Just let me know when." Max paused, realising that we didn't have a way of contact. "Where do you live?"

I gave her Tammy's address and we agreed she'd stop by the day after Boxing Day. I knew El didn't have plans so it was just a matter of getting Max an excuse to be out all day. I waved as she ran back to her friends and brushed off any remaining snow before I got into Steve's car. He drove off, heading back on the path to Tammy's place. I sighed, remembering why I had left in the first place.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Just…don't really want to go home yet."

There was a beat of silence. "You could come to my place? No one's there," he shrugged. "And I have coffee."

"I was sold as soon as you said coffee. Sure, let's go."

[tbc]