Hey guys! I'm back. I had a lovely trip but I'm very excited to get back into this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I would love to hear your thoughts on it!
Thank you to KimmyWSmith for proofreading. XO, Eden.
Song: Ain't No Rest for the Wicked
Artist: Cage the Elephant
I was walking down the street when out the corner of my eye
I saw a pretty little thing approaching me
She said, "I never seen a man, who looks so all alone
And could you use a little company?
If you can pay the right price, your evening will be nice
But you can go and send me on my way"
I said, "You're such a sweet young thing, why you do this to yourself?"
She looked at me and this is what she said
Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed
There ain't nothing in this world for free
Oh no, I can't slow down, I can't hold back
Though you know, I wish I could
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good
When I woke, the morning was eerily peaceful in contrast to my dream. Pale light was shining through the windows, warming me so that I was just cozy enough to want to stay in bed all day. Skipping school was not an option today; I needed to show Bonnie that I was okay, as well as thank her for her part in saving my life.
There was also some sort of Founder's Day preparation that I'm pretty sure Caroline had told me about at some point while I was lovingly tuning her out. Those damn Founders. They must have really thought themselves to be something special, the way that everything in this town was centered on them.
With a stretch, I begrudgingly decided to get started with my day. I let out a yawn as I reached over to check my phone, and saw that I had a text from an unknown number.
Car is in the driveway. Keys on top of left front tire. –D.
Evidently, he had saved my number in his phone that first night that we met; he was just now getting around to using it. I smiled at the text; the fact that Damon actually went out of his way to bring my car home for me was insanely sweet. If only he could act like that towards everyone; maybe then Elena wouldn't hate him so much.
It was peak fall now, and as such it was going to be rather chilly today. Dressing for cold weather had always been one of my favorite things; I love me a cozy sweater. Thanks to many shopping trips with Caroline, my closet was starting to look a bit more full and I had my pick of cute outfits for the day. I opted for pairing an olive green turtleneck with black skinny jeans and black ankle boots with a bit of a heel. Perhaps it was a bit dressy for school, but who cares.
I went downstairs to join my parents for morning coffee. That was just one of the perks of small town living; no long commute to the office means that my dad is still here most mornings when I get up for school. As usual, dad was reading the newspaper, which he looked up from when I walked into the kitchen.
"Good morning cupcake." He greeted me.
"Morning dad, mom." I smiled at them as I headed over to the coffee pot.
Mom smiled back at me. "Don't you seem chipper this morning."
I shrugged. "No reason."
"Well it's nice to see that you've been more yourself lately." Mom said. "See, I knew this would be good for you."
"Speaking of," I tried to keep my tone neutral; thankful I was facing away from them as I asked. "Why did you decide to leave in the first place?"
Dad cleared his throat. "Why do you ask?"
"Just curious." I turned around, taking a sip of my coffee. "You guys said it was a mutual decision between you and John, and I was wondering why."
"Did you speak to John?" Mom pressed. "Did he say anything to you?"
"Is there anything to say?" I challenged.
"Of course not." Dad answered. "It was decided that it would be best for everyone, you know that."
"Best how?" I pushed for more answers.
"We thought it would be too confusing for you if you grew up knowing who your birth father was, but it also wouldn't have been fair to John to see you grow up while he was a stranger to you." Mom explained. "So we left. When you told us that he had left town when you were trying to find him . . . well we thought it was safe to come back."
Safe to come back? What the hell does that mean? Not to mention the whole "it would be too confusing" bit. Yeah mom, because turning sixteen and finding out you have biological parents that you've never even heard of isn't confusing. Sounds logical. I didn't have time to push the issue any further, as my dad folded his newspaper and made a show of looking at his watch.
"Right, looks like it's time for me to hit the road." He got up to give me a hug. "Goodbye cupcake, have a nice day at school. Goodbye Elise."
I forced a smile as I watched him grab his bag to head out to the garage. I wasn't a fool; I noticed how quickly he suddenly had to get to work as soon as I brought up John. Moments after shutting it, dad poked his head back through the door.
"Lucy, is there a reason your car is parked outside?" He asked.
I cringed. Hadn't thought of that. "I uh- the garage door wouldn't open last night. I totally forgot about it til now."
"Huh, well it's working now." He said.
"Huh. Weird." I took a sip of coffee to hide my face.
He nodded. "We'll keep an eye on it and call a mechanic if it keeps acting up. Bye!"
Mom turned to me and raised an eyebrow after dad shut the door. "Garage door wouldn't open, would it?"
"Yup." I confirmed.
"Hmm." She eyed me suspiciously. "I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that Damon drove you home last night."
I nearly choked on my coffee. "You were awake?"
"Of course I was awake, I'm not going to sleep not knowing that you're somewhere safe in bed for the night." She replied.
I felt a pang of guilt, both at the fact that my mom stayed up til I got home, and that she had seen me come home with Damon. "I was just- I uh-"
"It's okay, really." She assured me. "Just be more careful. Luckily, your father was asleep, but I don't think he'd be too happy to see you coming home with an older boy, on a school night nonetheless."
I nodded. "Right."
"You weren't drinking, were you?" She asked. "Actually, you know what, I don't want to know. All that matters is that you were safe and made the decision not to drive home if you were."
"I wasn't-"
"You know, it's sweet really." She cut me off. "He drives you home and goes through the trouble of bringing your car to you? That must've been a long walk home, where does he live again?"
Well, he has vampire speed, but I couldn't very well tell her that now could I. "Mom, it's not like that."
"Mmm, sure." She voiced her disbelief with a smile. "If he's the reason you're so happy today, I'm all for it."
"It's not like that." I insisted.
"Well you better get to school." She thankfully picked up on my desire to change the topic. "The sneaking around with boys at midnight can stay between us, but if your grades start slipping we'll have to bring dad into it."
She did not need to make that threat twice. It wasn't that my dad didn't see me as my own person that could make my own choices; he just knew what scumbags boys could be. There was no breaking out baseball bats with my dad, but he had sat Connor Winebeck down for a chat about what it means to respect another person when he had come to pick me up for the homecoming dance my sophomore year. I didn't even want to think about Damon's reaction to that conversation, not that there was any reason to have it.
I was out the door and on the way to school before mom could even begin to say "Damon" one more time, but our prior conversation still lingered on my mind. Something about their reaction to me bringing up John did not sit right with me. I really felt that they were leaving something out.
What did mom mean when she asked if John said anything to me? Said anything about what? What did she mean my they thought it was "safe" to come back? Somehow I had a feeling that she didn't mean that John was threatening them to stay out of town. If John knew about vampires, did that mean my parents did too?
I couldn't very well just ask them if they knew that vampires existed. Judging by their reaction to me just bringing up the man that brought me into this world, I hardly think that conversation would go well. I was barely able to convince them that I didn't need to continue therapy in Mystic Falls; talking about vampires would cause them to phone up a psychologist in a heartbeat. Not that there's anything wrong with therapy, but I just couldn't sit through a doctor asking me to explain why I believe in the occult when the only answer was that it really is real.
No, talking to my parents was not an option. Not yet, at least. I knew I would have to talk to John. Did he even know who I was? I mean obviously he wouldn't recognize me, if the last time he saw me had been when I was a newborn. But did the name ring the faintest of bells in his head when he met me? Or had he just handed me to my parents and forgotten all about me.
I pushed thoughts of John out of my mind as I got to school, for now. I had a witch to find and thank. Luckily, she was easy to find, as she was lingering by her locker.
I snuck up behind her and attacked her with a hug. "Thank you thank you thank you!"
Bonnie jumped. "Lucy! Oh thank god. You really are okay."
"I am." I smiled. "Damon said something about keeping promises to Bennett witches."
She raised an eyebrow. "How much do you remember?"
"He didn't compel me, if that's what you're asking." I replied.
"He . . . didn't?" My answer didn't seem to solve her confusion.
"Nope, Stefan's demon face right before he bit my neck is still very much etched into my memory." I shuddered at the very thought.
"That's weird." Bonnie pondered. "He seemed pretty set on it. I believe his exact words were 'I'll feed her some blood, wipe her mind, and she can go back to living her happy little high school life.'"
"Guess I convinced him not to." I shrugged. "Anyways, thank you for disarming Stefan. I mean it. I mean I barely even know you and you saved my life."
"It's my duty to protect humans from vampires." Bonnie brushed it off. "But if you reaaally feel indebted to me, you could help me help Caroline with the Miss Mystic Float for the Founder's Day parade."
I groaned. "On second thought, I think I'll take my chances with Stefan."
Bonnie laughed. "Come on."
She led me to the cafeteria, where a good portion of the student body was gathered, all working on various activities. Apparently, classes were shortened today to allow us time to prepare for Founder's Day. Because celebrating a bunch of old people is more important than education here in Mystic Falls.
We found Caroline sitting by herself, laptop open at a table, clearly growing impatient as she awaited Bonnie's arrival. I scanned the room for Elena, but it looked like she wasn't here. Thankfully, that meant that Stefan was nowhere to be found either.
"Oh good, Lucy. You're here to help too." Caroline clapped her hands.
"Remind me why I'm even here to help?" Bonnie teased. "I wasn't even in the Founder's Court."
"Because you're my best friend." Caroline explained. "And because the quicker I finish this, the more time I'll have to perfect the cheer routine for the parade. Just because I won't be with you guys, doesn't mean I expect anything less than perfection."
"Uhh, cheer routine for the parade?" I asked. "We're in the parade?"
"Yes, Lucy. I've told you this a thousand times." Caroline exhaled angrily. "Do you even listen to me when I talk?"
"Of course I do." About fifty percent of the time. "It just slipped my mind."
"Well it better unslip." Caroline said. "I am still your captain, and I will not have my name tarnished by a subpar routine."
"All right, show us what you've got in mind for the float." Bonnie changed the topic, saving me for the second time this week.
"Let's reference last years Miss Mystic Float." Caroline perked up at the opportunity to talk planning, and began to type away at her laptop. "This is what they did last year, and it's exactly what we don't want to do."
"Ew." Bonnie confirmed, looking at the photo of the perfectly average parade float. "Ok, so, what are we doing?"
"Southern Classic Elegance." Caroline announced with pride.
"Gone with the Wind?" Bonnie raised an eyebrow.
"How'd you know?" Caroline asked.
"You channel Scarlett daily." Bonnie replied.
"So true." Caroline giggled. "Ugh, where's Elena? She's supposed to be helping."
Probably off coddling her bloodthirsty boyfriend. But I couldn't say that out loud. So I let Bonnie take the wheel on this one, her being a little more versed in this whole supernatural thing and all.
"I don't know." Bonnie's voice hinted that she probably felt the same way about Stefan that I did.
Caroline sighed. "Okay, what's the deal?"
"What do you mean?" Bonnie asked.
"Don't play dumb." Caroline's eyes narrowed. "You and Elena are fighting. Aren't they so fighting?"
"I um. . ." I avoided eye contact by looking around the room. I wasn't about to take sides on this one. "Is that Damon?"
Their heads turned in the direction I was looking. Sure enough, Damon was strolling across the cafeteria, clad in his usual leather jacket and looking like the bad boy from an eighties movie. He was attracting a fair bit of stares and giggles from the female population of the student body, not that I could blame them. What was he doing here? He wasn't about to try to pass as a high schooler and enroll, was he? They were already pushing it with the whole Stefan thing.
"Morning ladies." He smiled as he approached our table. "May I borrow Lucy for a moment? Great, thank you."
Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed my arm and guided me away from the table.
"Damon, is everything okay?" I asked, trying not to panic at the possibilities.
"Team meeting." He replied, leading me into a very empty hallway.
"Damon. Damon! What's going on?" I raised my voice a little bit.
He ignored me, and just continued walking down the hall. He had let go of my arm, and I was struggling to keep up with him a little bit. The only sound in the hall was the echoing click-click of my heels on the floor.
"Could you walk any louder?" He snapped, still facing away from me. "I don't think they can hear you in Florida."
Someone had woken up on the wrong side of the coffin today. I was too taken aback by his attitude to reply. Was he mad at me? What could I have possibly done in the ten-ish hours since I had seen him to piss him off? He didn't speak until we reached our destination, which was evidently Alaric's classroom.
"Damon. Thanks for coming." Alaric greeted him.
"Sorry I'm late, dog ate my uh. . ." He quickly read the room. "Never mind."
I followed Damon into the classroom, where Elena and Stefan were both sitting at desks. Really? Nobody saw anything wrong with Stefan being at a high school right now? Stefan looked pained, though that wasn't really a new thing, and Elena looked shell-shocked. What was going on? Did Stefan eat somebody again? I stayed just slightly behind Damon. If Stefan was still spiraling, I wanted a vampire shield in between him and me.
"Damon," Alaric's voice was really raspy, he almost sounded ill. "Is this something you should have brought Lucy to?"
"If you're asking if I know about vampires, the answer is yes." I snapped. "Thanks for lying to me along with everyone else, by the way."
"Right." Alaric didn't exactly look happy either.
"What's with all the furrowed brows?" Damon asked.
"I saw Isobel last night." Alaric replied.
"Isobel's here?" Damon looked shocked. "In town?"
Elena's face confirmed as much. I knew exactly how she felt in that moment. I too, had spent endless time trying to find my birth parent only for them to just show up in town right when I was starting to move on.
"Did you ask her about Uncle John? Are they working together?" Damon inquired.
Alaric shook his head. "No."
"Wait, how does John know Isobel?" I cut in.
"High school sweethearts, or something. I tuned it out." Damon made a disgusted face. "No they're not working together?"
"No I didn't ask." Alaric sighed. He looked awful. I mean, he's a handsome dude, but he looks like he's battling one hell of a hangover right now.
"What about the invention?" Damon pushed.
Alaric shrugged. "Didn't ask."
Damon was getting frustrated. "Does she know about the tomb vampires?"
"I don't know." Ric shook his head.
"Did words completely escape you?" Damon was getting up in Ric's face a little bit. That was a fight I did not want to see.
"No, I was a little too distracted by my dead vampire wife to ask any questions." Ric yelled back.
Gotta say, I'm team Ric on this one. The fact that just used the phrase "dead vampire wife" in reference to real life events kind of gives him a pass. If Brandon suddenly showed up as a vampire after I had thought he was dead for two years, I don't think I'd be able to form a proper sentence either. It was shocking to me that Ric was even upright and talking now.
"What did she want?" Damon asked after I put a hand on his arm to get him to back off of Ric a bit.
"She wants to see me, Damon." Elena answered.
"Alaric is supposed to arrange a meeting." Stefan elaborated. "We don't know why or what she wants."
"You don't have to see her if you don't want to." Damon told Elena, a surprising gesture of thoughtfulness between the two of them.
Elena shook her head. "I don't really have a choice."
"She's threatening to go on a killing spree." Ric hung his head.
"Oh." Damon pondered that for a moment. "I take it that's not okay with you guys?"
"Damon." I sighed. We have a murderous vampire on the loose, two, if you count Stefan (which I do). Not the time for jokes.
"I want to do it. I want to meet her." Elena said, her voice not quite convincing me. "If I don't, I know I'll regret it."
That was a sentiment I could get behind. Though I wasn't quite sure if she meant that she'd regret because she'd miss the chance to meet her birth mother, or because Isobel would kill people if she didn't meet her. If Elena can brave meeting Isobel, I can definitely handle a conversation with John, the human. But John wasn't a vampire, and as far as I knew, John hadn't killed anybody. Given Isobel's ease at threatening human life . . . well I had no doubt that she had killed before.
"Are you sure it's safe?" I blurted out.
"No, but it's not safe not to." Elena replied. "You heard what Ric said, she'll kill people if I don't meet her. I can't be responsible for that."
"But you wouldn't be responsible." I tried to reason with her. "Isobel would. I mean, what if she wants to hurt you."
"Let's be reasonable here." Damon looked at me. "Do you really think Isobel wants to meet her own daughter just so she can kill her? She's a vampire, not a spider."
"But-"
"Okay, how's this? Elena will meet Isobel at The Grill. She won't make a scene there." Damon suggested. "I'll be there, hiding in a corner where she can't see me, but I can hear everything. Stefan will be there too, if he can handle it."
"What do you mean if he can handle it?" Elena snapped at Damon.
Damon waved his hand around. "Oh, you know how Stefan is. So . . . emotional, unpredictable."
"That's enough, brother." Stefan clearly didn't enjoy being criticized by Damon. "Alaric, you'll be in touch when you arrange the meeting?"
Ric, who was leaning against the chalkboard looking as if he was on the verge of passing out, just nodded at Stefan. Stefan took that as his cue to leave and paced out of the room, with Elena following shortly behind him after telling me that she'd catch up with me later. Hopefully sans Stefan, but I wouldn't hold my breath.
"Lucy, do I want to know how you figured out the truth?" Ric asked, still leaning against the chalkboard with his eyes closed.
"Well, I kind of got cued in when Stefan tried to kill me." I retorted. "The whole fangs and demon eyes thing kind of solidified my theory."
Suddenly Ric was much more alert; he stood up straight and his eyes darted from me to Damon. "When he WHAT?"
Damon went completely stiff, and turned to glare at me. "I thought we were going to keep that on the down low."
I crossed my arms. "You're the one that was egging him on two seconds ago."
"You promised me no more killing!" Ric was in Damon's face now; he looked ready to punch him. Punching a vampire would not be a good choice, Ric.
"Relax, she's alive." Damon held his hands up. "Now tell me, why is it that when Stefan does something wrong, it's my fault, yet when I do something wrong . . . it's still my fault."
Ric huffed, and looked over at me. "Are you okay?"
I shrugged. "Am I healed physically? Yes. Am I having nightmares? Also yes."
Not that the nightmares were anything new for me. It was just that Stefan was now a part of them.
"I had no idea." Ric looked even worse for the wear after hearing about Stefan, and glared at Damon again. "Is he under control now?"
"Again, why is Stefan my responsibility?" Damon's eyes narrowed.
"Because he's your brother." Ric said, earning an eye roll from Damon. "Don't be a dick."
"Listen, Ric, do you think you could take a sick day today?" I cut in, hoping to avoid an actual fistfight between the two. "No offense, but you kind of look like crap."
He sighed. "Yeah, well, a fifth of whiskey and a meeting with your ex wife will do that to you."
"Teaching while hungover, nice." Damon commented.
"You're probably right. I'll go talk to someone at the office." Ric patted Damon on the shoulder. "Keep an eye on her. Isobel specifically threatened to go after my students; I have a feeling if she finds out who Elena's friends are they'll be at the top of her list."
I sat down at Ric's desk as he walked out of the classroom, Damon glaring at his back as he left. I just needed a minute to process what was going on. Isobel was back, and she wanted to meet Elena. What did she want from her? The woman who sought out a vampire to change her and left her husband in the process did not strike me as the sentimental type. I had a strong feeling that whatever she wanted wouldn't be good.
Damon sat on the corner of the desk, eyeing me. "How was the drive to school?"
A small smile formed on my face. "Thanks for bringing my car back, Damon."
"You didn't leave your window unlocked." He commented.
"It didn't seem like a good idea." I shrugged. Was that why he was in a bad mood this morning?
He frowned. "You don't trust me."
It was quite the opposite actually. I knew that he had already been invited in and could come and go from my house as he pleased. If he really wanted to get inside my house, he could break the lock on any door or window of my house with practically no effort. But I trusted that he wouldn't do that.
"No it's not that. I just . . ." I shrugged as I trailed off. "Are you mad?"
"At you?" Damon raised an eyebrow. "No, of course not."
"But you are mad." I observed.
"Of course I'm mad." He replied. "I got called into a freaking parent teacher conference because my brother and his girlfriend can't handle their own drama."
I sighed. "You know, you don't have to be responsible for him."
"But I do. I am. Look what happened." His voice softened a bit. "Are you really still having nightmares?"
"It's only been a few days." I tried to brush it off.
"I can always make you forget everything if it gets to be too much." He offered.
"No, I don't want that." I shook my head, and my hand went to where my necklace should have been.
"I won't do it if you don't want me to." Damon's brow furrowed. "But we do need to get you some vervain. The tomb vampires are still lurking around."
"And Isobel." The thought of Isobel alone instilled more fear into my veins than all of the tomb vampires combined.
"And Isobel." Damon echoed. "Why don't you get back to whatever it is you were doing with blondie and witchy? There's no use worrying about Isobel right now. You'll be safe here at school, just don't go wandering off."
I hopped up from Ric's seat. "Talk later?"
Damon just nodded, his eyes just slightly glazed over as he contemplated our current predicament. As I turned to leave, he reached out to grab my arm, eyes still fixated elsewhere. Slowly, he pulled his hand down my arm until my fingers were loosely cupped in his. With a squeeze of my hand, he finally looked at me and forced a small smile.
With each day that I knew Damon, he seemed more and more human. Every gentle touch, every conversation we had that wasn't laden with sarcasm, every display of genuine concern for my safety; it made me see something in him that I knew no one else did.
In that moment, I wanted to throw myself into his lap and hold him as tightly as I could with my human arms. I wanted to tell him that I didn't blame him for Stefan, that I trusted him, that the only thing that scared me about him was the way I felt for him. But I couldn't. We were already treading a dangerous line, a boundary that was just daring us to cross it. I couldn't be the first one to cross that line; I wasn't brave enough. Instead, I just squeezed his hand in return before letting go, the thought of his touch still overpowering my mind long after he was out of my sight.
When I returned to the cafeteria, Bonnie and Caroline appeared to have worked past their slight tiff and were intensely discussing parade float ideas. Elena was nowhere to be seen, and I wondered if she was just planning on skipping school today and had only shown up to talk to Alaric about Isobel. I slid into a seat next to Bonnie, more than ready to immerse myself in parade planning.
"Why hello, Lucy," Caroline greeted me with a mischievous smile. "What did Damon want?"
"Oh it was nothing." I looked at the table; I hated lying, but I couldn't very well tell Caroline what was going on.
"Sure." Caroline winked. "I've snuck off into the hallway for nothing plenty of times before."
My face flushed red at Caroline's implication. Bonnie and Caroline were both giving me a knowing look, but for very different reasons. I tried to muster a glance towards Bonnie that said talk later; hopefully telepathy is one of her witch powers.
"Elena!" Caroline waved. "There you are!"
I turned to look over my shoulder, and sure enough Elena had finally chosen to show up. Thankfully, Stefan wasn't with her. I wanted my morning to have some shred of normalcy. Elena sat down opposite of me at the table.
"So, speaking of Damon," Caroline glanced between the two of us. "Elena, why were you dancing with him at Miss Mystic? You ran off before I could get an explanation."
I put my hand over my mouth to stifle a cough. "You were what?"
She was dancing with Damon? Obviously Stefan had been a little preoccupied to fulfill his duties as her escort, but I hadn't really given much thought to how the pageant had gone.
"Um, yeah? Weren't you there?" Caroline pouted when she saw my dumbfounded reaction. "Wow, you didn't get to see me win. Where were you?"
"Stefan was sick." Elena filled in quickly. "Lucy helped take care of him so that I could still go on, and Damon volunteered to fill in for Stefan."
Caroline nodded slowly, still not convinced. "How did he know the dance?"
Probably because he was alive when it was invented. I eyed Elena, who was intently avoiding my gaze. There was a pit in my stomach at the thought of her dancing with Damon. It wasn't just jealously. I felt . . . lied to. While we seemed to have reached an agreement on the topic now, she had spent so much time trying to keep me away from Damon. On more than one occasion I had felt that she acted possessive over him. I couldn't help but shake the feeling that my cousin felt something for Damon, something other than the hatred and disgust that she put on that she felt.
Caroline led the conversation for the rest of the planning session. Bonnie had gone noticeably silent when Elena approached the table; no doubt just as upset as I was with her support of Stefan. I was too deep in contemplation to contribute much. All I could think of was Katherine, and the possibility that Elena took after more than just her in more than her appearance, she also shared her affinity for both Salvatore brothers.
For Damon's sake, I hoped I was wrong. Thanks to him sharing his memories with me, I had felt his heartbreak over Katherine firsthand. With Elena's resemblance to Katherine, it would be too confusing, too hurtful if she had feelings for him too.
Not even fifteen minutes later after walking down the street
When I saw the shadow of a man creep out out of sight
And then he swept up from behind, he put a gun up to my head
He made it clear he wasn't looking for a fight
He said, "Give me all you've got, I want your money not your life
But if you try to make a move I won't think twice"
I told him, "You can have my cash, but first you know I gotta ask
What made you want to live this kind of life?"
He said
Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed
There ain't nothing in this world for free
Oh no, I can't slow down, I can't hold back
Though you know, I wish I could
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good