Roses Are Red and So Are The Violets

by Bloody Simpson Chibi

It's a simple balance really. The Eds do something. The Kankers come along and ruin it. Then unwanted smooching commences. But when Marie comes down with a bizarre illness, this balance is thrown out the window. Now the Eds have the advantage and everything's out of whack. But sometimes, it's in total chaos that we find the answers we seek. A Hanahaki fic. Edd x Marie. Rated T.

6. Bittersweet

Chapter 6: Bittersweet

(We're back with another chapter folks! And this one will be a first from me! (Which means it might suck) It's a detective story today! I'm not sure how well I'll pull this off but I'm hoping it'll be decent at the very least. So yeah...uh...Not much else to say so let's get right on with the story then!)

Double D couldn't believe the sight before him. He didn't want to. In the back of his mind, he rationalized all the ways in which what he was seeing could be rendered untrue. Perhaps he was simply dreaming. Experiencing a nightmare from which he would wake up at some point. Or maybe it was the opposite. Maybe he hadn't been getting enough sleep lately and was suffering the consequences in the form of an upmost foul hallucination. Or maybe, just maybe, he was looking at it wrong and the reality was that nothing was amiss.

But in the end, Double D was far too clever a boy to be fooled by any of these hopeful theories. The sight that lay before him was not a dream, not a hallucination and while he prayed to have been wrong about its nature, he knew he was correct the first time. What he saw was in fact the cold hard truth, a truth so horrible that all he could think to do in response was to fall to his knees and cry out to the sky with arms outstretched to the heavens.

"This cannot be!"

In front of the crying boy sat the school trophy case, containing every reminder of every past victory in Peach Creek's history. Save for the Award for Outstanding Community Service which was missing, a giant hole in the glass resting where it used to be.

Double D was not alone in bearing witness to this devastating atrocity either. His friends, all the Cul-Dee-Sac kids, and even the Kankers were gathered around, talking amongst themselves as they gawked at the horrible scene before them.

"Jeepers!" Jimmy whined. "Who would do such a thing?"

"I don't know but they got some guts stealing from the trophy case in broad daylight," Sarah commented.

"Boy Plank, some people just don't have any decency, huh?" Jonny mused to his wooden friend who, at least as far as everyone else was concerned, said nothing.

"This is like totally messed up!" Nazz exclaimed. "Who would just break into the trophy case like that?"

"I can think of a few names," Kevin growled as he glared at Eddy and Ed standing beside their weeping friend. Ed remainder oblivious to the deathly stares as he was preoccupied with mentally justifying his theory that aliens were responsible. Eddy, however, realized at once he was being scrutinized and returned the glare at Kevin. "I know you're not talking about us, Shovel-chin. We're as innocent as a baby's backside!"

"Oh please," Sarah cut in. "You'd do anything for a lousy quarter!" This prompted the other kids to laugh which of course further enraged Eddy. He hated being the butt of the joke.

"Oh yeah!" Eddy pointed to the Kanker Sisters. "What about them!? They've done worse for free!"

"That might be true, love muffin!" Lee agreed.

"But if we wanted to steal any stupid trophy," Marie spoke up.

"We would have taken the entire case!" May finished with a laugh.

Eddy growled as he realized they were right. The Kankers were thorough like that. "Oh yeah? Well...you're still the prime suspects here! Don't even think about leaving town!"

To Eddy's surprise, all the kids murmured in agreement.

"As much as I hate to say it, the dorks on to something," Kevin said. "One of us has got to be responsible! The only question is who?" A dark shroud of silence fell on the kids as they eyed each other with suspicion, a million theories painting their fellow students in a harsh light dancing in their heads. The only ones not playing this mental blame game were Double D who was still crying over the ruined sanctity of the school's trophy case and Rolf who had spent all this time studying the case carefully. Finally, he had his eureka moment. "Ah ha! Rolf has finally solved the mystery!" He declared.

"Huh?" Kevin turned to his friend. "You did?"

"Rolf was confused at first as to why you were all mourning the case of impractical trinkets of hollow victory when it was clearly still there," Rolf said as he walked up to the case. "Now Rolf understands that this is because one of these trinkets has vanished into the Great Beyond! Fear not, for Rolf has a replacement three times it's worth!" Rolf reached into his pocket and picked out a potato covered in sprouts. "Behold! The mighty Potato of Longitivty!" He placed the potato on the spot on the shelf where the stolen trophy used to be. "There! Now all is right in the world! You may applaud now!"

All eyes, even Double D's were fixed on Rolf, wide in confusion. The only one who took Rolf's advice to applaud him was Ed who clapped his hands absentmindedly, a dumb smile plastered on his face. After a few moments, May decided to join in, prompting Lee to slap her upside the head.

It was at that moment that the school bell rang.

"Crap," Kevin muttered under his breath. "I guess we can figure out who to can afterward Come on, Rolf!" Kevin said as he grabbed his friend and pulled him toward their next class. "Hello?" was all Rolf responded with.

"Yeah, we got better things to do than worry about some dumb old trophy." Eddy pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolded it, revealing the blueprints for a miniature version of his brother's stink bomb. "Like pulling the prank of the century!" He wrapped his fingers around Ed's torso and compressed it, lifting his dim-witted friend. "Coming Double D?" He asked as he turned to his other friend.

Double D didn't answer. He simply continued to stare hauntingly at the vandalized trophy case.

"Ahh, who needs ya!?" Eddy dismissed. "Come on, Monobrow!"

"Onwards to adventure!" Ed declared as Eddy carried him off.

"Yeah, we better get going or Mr. Yamato will get peeved," May said as she and Lee walked down the hallway, only for the eldest sister to turn as she realized Marie wasn't moving. "Coming Marie?"

"Huh?" Marie, whose focus had been squarely fixed on Double D all this time, turned to her sister with a bewildered expression on her face. "Oh uh. Y-Yeah. I'll meet you guys there."

"Alright, but I can't guarantee May won't use up all the glue by the time you join us," Lee said in a sing-songy voice as she followed May down the hall.

"Tsk. Whatever." Marie scoffed as she returned her attention to Double D. Normally, she wouldn't actually be all that worried about his state of mind. Hell knows how many times she and her sisters have been behind it breaking in the first place. But now, for some reason she couldn't fantom, she felt genuinely disheartened upon seeing the Straight-A student so forlorn. Slowly, she approached him. "Double D, you alri-

*HACK!*

"Crap!" Marie croaked as she felt the back of her throat fill with petals. And small ones at that. Marie frantically checked either side of the hall to ensure that no one was watching and let them all out, a cloud of slender violet petals fluttering to the floor. A few of them landed on Double D's knees and the young boy, already ripped from his traumatic daze by Marie coughing right next to him, uttered a gasp of surprise as he picked up the petal and held it close to his eyes. "Good lord, Marie! This petal looks as if it's from deadly nightshade! We must get you into the infirmary at once!"

"I-" Marie tried to reply but a second heave of petals came up, giving Double D enough time to examine the petal more carefully.

"Oh my!" He giggled sheepishly. "How embarrassing! Upon closer inspection, this petal is actually that of the benign bittersweet flower." He chuckled to himself as he reached underneath his hat, pulled out a plastic baggie, and placed the petal inside.

"Whoopie- *belch* do!" Marie fell back, her throat ragged from the assault of the bittersweet petals.

"Marie?" Double D loomed over her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Marie waved Double D off as she sat back up. "What about you? You over the missing trophy already?"

Double D shook his head sadly. "While this little distraction has indeed helped me to reclaim my composure," He turned to the trophy case. "My heart still aches with the knowledge that someone from this very school would dare to desecrate the sanctity of the school trophy case and the rich history of various student's achievements inside." He turned to Marie and added, "And so close to the day they were supposed to move it to the Teacher's lounge!" in a "Can-you-believe-this-crap?" voice."

Of course, Marie didn't really care about the trophy case nor did she know how to pretend she did. So the most she can think to do was pat Double D on the back and say, "Well what can you do? I'm sure they'll find out who did it soon enough so why don't we head over to class? You love that stuff!"

To Marie's surprise, Double D shoved her arm away and stood up, his fist clenched as a determined expression overtook his face. "Not right now, Marie. Not while that scoundrel is still running free with the school's rightful property!" He pointed a finger to the sky. "I, Double D, will find the culprit and reclaim the stolen trophy even if I have to search the ends of the Earth."

"Double D?" Marie said quietly. She was completely taken aback by Double D's sudden change of temperament. "What's with this guy?" She thought. "One second, he's crying in front of the trophy case like a lunatic and the next he's gotten into macho man mode!" She couldn't help but giggle. "It's kinda attractive, even if it's over a dumb trophy!" Marie jumped slightly as Double D turned to her and grabbed her shoulders.

"Marie! I'll need some assistance in unraveling this mystery and Eddy and Ed have left for the former's pointless prank endeavor! I know it's asking a lot! but-" Double D suddenly got down on a single knee while holding Marie's hand. "Will you be the Watson to my Sherlock Holmes?"

"...what?" A flustered Marie asked.

"Curse my attempts at cultural references," Double D whispered to himself. "Will you help me catch the thief?"

"Oh..." Marie took a deep breath, doing her best to alleviate the heat in her cheeks. Once she regained her composure, she offered Double D a sly smile. "Well, it beats going to woodshop. So what's the first thing we do?"

"Look for clues of course!" Double D reached underneath his hat and pulled out his trusty magnifying glass with which he began to look over the trophy case. "Not even the most proficient criminal can keep from leaving some sort of evidence of the crime scene. All we have to do is find what our thief left behind and we'll be right on their trail!"

"Cool," Marie said in an unenthusiastic voice as she leaned against the trophy case and watched Double D feverishly search the ground. As he continued looking for evidence, Marie sighed and looked over the trophy case. Most of the trophies and medals left intact were quite dusty, with a huge spot left on the shelf where the stolen trophy once rested. Behind the potato that Rolf planted, Marie noticed something small and red and went to pick it up, knocking the potato to its side in the process. She examined it closely and realized it was a piece of brick. "What's a chunk of brick doing here?" She pondered. "Hey Double D, is this a clue?"

Double D didn't hear her for at that moment, he was too preoccupied with a find of his own. "Marie! Come look at this!"

Marie's mouth drooped in annoyance. She took one last look at the piece of brick, sighed, and placed it in her pocket. "Alright! Coming." She approached Double D from behind and as she looked over him, she noticed what appeared to be a very faint set of footprints.

"It would seem the culprit wasn't nearly as careful as they would have hoped!" Double D said with a hint of cockiness in his voice. "Let's just be glad that the janitor didn't come by yet or we would have lost our only clue."

"Hooray," Marie said right as she coughed out a few more petals which she caught in her hand.

"Excuse you," Double D said as he held his magnifying glass over the footprints. "Now shall we follow these faded steps directly to our missing scoundrel?"

"Whatever." Marie scoffed as she followed Double D out of the hall toward the end of the footprints. No sooner had they both left that Rolf's potato unceremoniously rolled off of the shelf and splattered on the floor.

...

"Hmm," Double D said to himself as he continued following the footprints. "It would appear that our culprit moved in a brisk walk from the trophy case, caught between a desire to remain inconspicuous and a desire to distance themselves from the crime scene."

"So what I'm hearing is that they stole the trophy and got the hell out of Dodge," Marie responded flatly. "Makes sense."

"Oh my," Double D muttered. "These footprints are starting to become fainter and fainter! I can only hope we find the end before-

*CRASH!*

Double D was so preoccupied with the dying footprints that he failed to realize the door right in front of him and crashed into it head first.

"Double D!" Marie shouted as she went to pick him up. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine! Nothing an aspirin won't solve." Double D answered in a dazed voice. He shook his head, rubbed his scalp, and looked back toward the door he just crashed into. The words Arts & Crafts were written on the glass window.

"Arts and crafts?" Marie asked. "I didn't know anyone went in here."

"There's a lot of surprising merit in the arts, Marie." Double D as he looked down at the footprints. Carefully, he opened the door and saw they the trail ended at a window. Double D entered the empty classroom and looked out the window. There was nothing of interest for him to see, however, just cars in the parking lot and an ant hill underneath the window's sill. "Drat! It would seem our culprit gave us the slip before we arrived."

"So what do we do now?" Marie asked. "Do we check the cameras"

"If only this school could afford cameras!" Double D groaned. Just then, the door opened yet again and a blonde woman in a green dress stepped inside. "Eddward?" She asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh! Pardon the intrusion, Ms. Cladenblack!" Double D excused himself. "We were searching for someone who might have recently been in your class during their downtime."

"Recently," Ms. Cladenblack tapped her chin in thought. "The only students that were in here all day were Kevin, Jonny and that short little friend of yours. I've been swamped in paperwork today so I've kinda been in and out. What's the problem?"

"The problem is that some jerk st-" Marie's words were suddenly muted as Double D slapped his hand over her mouth.

"Oh it's nothing to concern yourself with, Ms. Cladenblack!" He chuckled nervously. "We're just trying to find an old friend is all!" Using some of the strength he gained after last week's venture, Double D pulled Marie along with him past the dumbstruck Ms. Cladenblack and out the door. "So sorry for bothering you! Farewell!"

"Um...alright! See you later!" Ms. Cladenblack giggled as she waved good-bye to the students. As soon as they were gone, however, her cheerful expression waned and she groaned. "I swear these kids get weirder every year." She sighed and went back to her desk to wait out the day.

...

Unsatisfied with simply leaving the classroom, Double D dragged Marie back into the hallway where they first began their journey. Only when he was in front of the trophy case did he finally stop. "Phew! That was a close one," He said. "Now we ca-YOOWWWWW!"

Marie, deciding she had had enough of Double D's palm sweat going into her mouth, decided to bite him. He jumped up and cried in pain as he held his injured hand, landing on his behind with a thud. "Good lord, Marie!" Double D shouted. "What is wrong with you woman?"

"What's wrong with me?" She grabbed Double D by the shoulders and shook him back and forth. "You're the one acting like a nut over some stupid missing trophy!" She threw him down without mercy. "Didn't it occur to you that maybe if we ask the teacher they'd be able to lead us to the thief?" She scoffed and crossed her arms. "For a smart guy, you sure are stupid!

"Thank about this rationally Marie!" Double D said as he lay on the ground, groaning in pain before continuing. "As of me speaking right now, only a handful of the faculty and staff are aware of the horrible atrocity that has taken place! The last thing we need is to upset even more teachers with the burden of that knowledge, lest they take drastic action that interferes with our ability to solve the mystery!"

"In other words, they might mess things up if they get involved," Marie deduced before sighing. "I guess that makes sense."

"Besides," Double D continued as he got back up with a grunt of effort. "While the footprints made have been a dead end, Ms. Cladenblack has in fact already helped with the case unknowingly!"

Marie raised her visible eyebrow in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"By describing the students that were in her classroom today," Double D got out a notepad and pencil from beneath his hat and scribbled down the names and pictures of the three students the teacher mentioned. "She unintentionally gave us a list of potential suspects." He flipped over the notepad so Marie could see the drawing. "One of these three men had got to be the culprit!"

Marie studied the drawing closely as she pieced together Double D's words, smiling as she fully comprehended what he was saying. "No fooling!?"

Double D brought the notepad back and turned to a blank page. "Now all we need to do is interrogate these students and sniff out our rat!" He hummed thoughtfully as he tapped the end of his pencil to his chin. "I know a room where we can hold the interrogation. Now there's just the matter of rounding up our suspects."

Double D froze as Marie chuckled evilly. "Aw muffin," She said as she caressed Double D's chin. "You just leave that to me!"

---

The clock ticked away as Double D waited in the empty club room. At another time, this had been the tennis enthusiast club before budget cuts had killed the dream. Now it was an almost bare room, save for a table and three chairs. The room was situated far from the bustle and hustle of daily student life, making it the perfect room to interrogate potential trophy thieves. Now he just had to wait for them.

Suddenly, the door slammed open and three bound and gagged students fell in, followed by a pleased Marie as she cleaned her hands. "Here you are, muffin! Three little rats as you requested, ripe for slaughter!"

Double D stared in horror as the students squirmed and writhed, murmurs of confusion and fear seeping from underneath the duct tape stuck to their mouths. He winced as Kevin looked up at him and glared daggers at him.

"Oh dear," Double D turned to Marie. "Marie, you have heard of the saying innocent until proven guilty, right?"

"Huh?" Marie said as she cleaned her ear out with her finger. "You say something?"

Double D sighed in defeat. "Nothing. Just pull Eddy and Jonny to the end of the room. We'll start with Kevin."

"Sure thing, muffin." Marie grabbed Jonny and Eddy's feet and dragged the protesting students to the back of the room where she slammed them against the wall. With a snicker, she went back for Kevin, dragged him to the lone chair that Double D set aside for the suspects, and sat him on it. With a single yank, she removed the tape, relishing in the loud "OW!" Kevin cried. With another snicker, she took her seat next to Double D on the other side of the table. The interrogation had begun.

"What's going on here?" Kevin asked. What's the big deal dragging me to this dump in the middle of the day, huh?"

"First of all, let me apologize for the um, shall we say, direct approach Marie took to bringing you here. I can assure you that wasn't part of the plan." He glared at Marie who just waved and smiled. Double D sighed. "That being said, I would like to ask you a fe-

"WHERE'D YOU STASH THE TROPHY, SHOVEL CHIN!" Marie suddenly shouted as she pounded on the table with all her might. How that poor table managed to survive the impact with nothing more than a crack was a mystery for the ages.

"Marie?" Double D asked fretfully.

"Trophy?" Kevin asked. "What are you talking about?"

Marie grabbed Kevin by the shoulders and pulled him close. Don't play dumb you stupid jock! We know you stole the trophy from the cast out in the hallway! Now tell us where you put it!" She started shaking him uncontrollably. "We'll do a cavity search if we have to!"

"Marie!" Double D shouted. "Put him down!"

Marie stopped shaking Kevin as she gave Double D a look of confusion. "What's the big deal, Double D?" I'm just playing bad cop."

"B-Bad cop?" Double asked.

"Ya you know, good cop and bad cop, like on TV."

"Oh Marie," Double D pinched the bridge of his nose. "While I appreciate the enthusiasm, I highly doubt that we'll be able to get anywhere with such an outdated and frankly inefficient concept. Now please put Kevin down so we can handle this in a mature and organized manner."

Marie stared at Double D for a few moments before scoffing. "Fine!" She placed Kevin back on his chair muttering to herself that her technique always worked on TV.

"Thank you," Double D said as he turned to Kevin. "I really do apologize Kevin. I hope you can forgive us."

"Just tell me what I'm doing here dork!" Kevin spat, fighting the urge to tear through his restraints and tackle the sock-headed boy.

"Well Kevin," Double D tented his fingers. "Marie and I are currently investigating the missing Award of Outstanding Community Service and while we are not pointing any fingers at the moment, the fact is that testimony from Ms. Cladenblack places you and the other two brought here in her classroom around the time that the trophy was taken. We simply want to ask you a few questions."

Kevin continued to glare at Double D before finally sighing. "We'll I didn't take it if that's what you're asking. I have a million sports trophies back home. Why would I need any crummy trophy from the school?"

"I see." Double D tented his fingers. "Then let's start by asking if you witnessed anything unusual in Ms. Cladenblack's class today."

"Not really," Kevin admitted. "It was real quiet. Just me and those two idiots behind me," He gestured toward Eddy and Jonny who sat at the back of the class struggling with their binds. Eddy made a vicious growl underneath his tape but Kevin ignored it. "Although, now that I think about it. Both of those losers asked to be excused from the classroom. They were gone for about five minutes apiece!"

"Intriguing," Double D said. "In what order?"

"First the dork and then the weirdo!"

"And what about you," Marie slammed her palms on the table. "Did you leave the classroom at all? And don't even think about lying!"

"Umm, Well yeah," Kevin confessed with a gulp. "B-But that was just to go to the bathroom! I swear!"

"Oh yeah? Prove it!" Marie challenged.

"Marie!" Double D scolded.

"You want me to prove it?" Kevin shouted. "Alright! I went to the last bathroom down the hall from where that stupid trophy case was! And as soon as I sat down on the can, the freaking thing exploded!"

"Exploded?" Double D repeated with disbelief.

"Yeah! Sent me through the roof and everything!" Kevin heard the sound of muffled giggling and turned to stare daggers at the culprit who of course turned out to be Eddy. He panicked as he locked eyes with Kevin and turned away while still chuckling to himself. Kevin growled and turned back to his interrogators. "Check out the bathroom and you'll see the damage! I was there!"

Marie and Kevin glared at each other for a moment before she asked Double D. "What do you wanna do with him?"

Double D, who had been scribbling down the details of Kevin's testimony, finished up and flipped the paper of his notepad over. "Let him go, Marie. Thanks to him, we have a new lead and some new questions for the other two suspects."

Marie scoffed. "Fine!" She went around the table and untied Kevin. "You're not out of the woods yet so don't even think of leaving town!" She whispered in his ear. "And you better hope we find what we're looking for or you're dog meat!"

"Whatever!" Kevin shoved her away without mercy, got up, and walked out of the classroom muttering "weirdos" under his breath.

"Marie, are you alright?" Double D asked as he leaned over the table.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine!" Marie said as she got back up, stars circling her head. "Who's next?"

Double D hummed thoughtfully as he looked over his notes. "I suppose Jonny."

"Right," Marie stomped toward the bound students and dragged Jonny to the table by his feet. She slammed him in the chair, painfully ripped the tape off his mouth and stomped back to her seat as Jonny shook his head to and fro. "Man, that was a rough ride,"

"First of all, I would like to apologize for the unfortunate matter in which you were brought here," Double D paused a moment to look at Marie with a disapproving glance before continuing. "But we would like to ask you a few questions if you don't mind."

"I didn't do it!" Jonny cried. "I swear! Why would I want some dumb old trophy?"

"Relax Jonny," Double D said. "Just try to calm down."

Jonny tried to comply with Double D's suggestion, although all this really amounted to was a bunch of labored breathing and profuse sweating. It was clear he was nervous and while Marie had already made up her mind that he was guilty, Double D simply cleared his throat and continued. "Now, According to Kevin, you left class sometime before he did. Did you have to use the restroom as well," Jonny?"

Jonny shook his head. "No! I had to return an overdue library book! Nuts and Bolts: A History of Trees Getting Struck By Lightning! It was creepy! I'm not sure why I even checked it out in the first place!"

"I see," Double D said in a somewhat confused tone. "And this couldn't have waited until you were finished with class?"

Jonny shook his head. "Plank says I have pretty bad memory so if I suddenly remember something, I should act on it while it's still in my head!"

"Speaking of that hunk of termite food," Marie interjected as she looked back and forth, "Where is he?"

"That is a good question," Double D admitted. "Jonny, where is Plank?"

"Probably still at the library," Jonny answered. "He said something about needing to find the right book to relieve my trauma of reading that last book. I didn't want to leave him alone but he was persistent."

"Grr! Enough with this crap!" Marie grabbed Jonny by the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him on the table. "You've got five seconds to tell us where you put the trophy or I'm gonna pound you!"

"Wait! Stop!" Jonny cried.

"Marie! Please control yourself!" Double D begged. "You're taking this whole "good cop, bad cop," routine way too far!"

"I don't care!" Marie shouted as she made a fist and held it over Jonny's face. "I...I...I.." She choked up and covered her mouth as she let Jonny fall back into his seat.

"Marie, are you ok?" Double D asked.

"G-Give me a bag," Marie said underneath her mouth, her voice strained and muffled. Jonny stared at the display in confusion while Eddy proceeded to laugh his butt off beneath his tape. Upon realizing what was going on, Double D panicked as he reached inside his hat and frantically felt for a plastic bag. Once he finally found it, he handed it to Marie who turned around and unloaded her burden of petals inside it. Jonny, his mouth now a circle of quiet intrigue, tried to lean in closer. "What's wrong with you?" He asked. "You coughing up a lung?"

"It's...It's none of your business cueball!" Marie snapped as she quickly placed the bag inside her backpack. "Just cough up the trophy already!"

"But I swear guys, I don't have it!" Jonny sat back down again. "Honest! You can even ask Plank!"

"Who I assume is still in the library?" Double D asked.

Jonny nodded his head fervently, causing the sock-headed boy to sigh. He took a few notes on the bare paper in front of him and turned it over once more. "Alright, I suppose that'll do for now. But we'll be following up on this."

"Does this mean I can go?" Jonny asked

Double D nodded while Marie growled in disapproval. She got up to help Jonny out of his restraint only for him to suddenly gnaw on the ropes and cut them apart himself. "See ya!" He shouted with a somewhat nervous laugh as he burst through the door.

"Well that was...eventful." Double D said.

"Let's just get this over with!" Marie hissed as she stomped toward Eddy, pulled him to the interrogation table, and ripped the tape from his mouth.

"YOWWWW!" Eddy cried as he jumped in his seat. "Easy will ya? Suspects have rights too, you know?"

"Shut your mouth, you little half-pint!" Marie shouted as she picked up Eddy and shook him viciously. "We know you're the guilty one by process of elimination! Now where's the trophy!?"

"DDDDDOOOUUUBBBBLLLLLEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE! HHHHHEEEELLLLLPPPP!" Eddy begged as he was shaken.

"Marie, stop abusing the suspects!" Double D suddenly roared. The sheer volume of his voice as well as the abruptness of his outburst, caused both Marie and Eddy to stop and stare dumbfounded. Slowly, Marie placed Eddy back onto the chair. "Gee, sorry Double D."

Double D gestured for Marie to sit back at his side as he turned his attention toward Eddy. "Once again, I must apologize for my partner's behavior." He said. "But she does have a point, Eddy." Kevin's testimony places you as the first person to leave Ms. Cladenblack's class today. Care to explain your whereabouts?"

"Are you kidding me, Double D?" Eddy protested. "You're supposed to be our friend, remember? Yet here you are fraternizing with a Kanker! And over some dumb trophy!? I mean seriously! Who writes this stuff!?"

Marie pounded on the desk one more time, this time breaking the table in two. "Enough boloney!" She hissed. "Start talking! Now!"

Eddy's lips quivered as he found himself paralyzed by the Kanker sister's enraged gaze. "Alright, alright!" He confessed. "So I left before everyone else what can I say?"

"To go to the restroom?" Double D asked.

"To steal the trophy?"

"To check out the lost and found for cash!" Eddy exclaimed.

"What?" Both Double D and Marie asked in unison.

"Now before you judge, keep in mind that the lost and found is fair game for looting!" Eddy continued. "Hey, it's not my fault people are too dumb to hang on to their stuff! Lately, I've been checking through the pockets for cash!"

"Eddy," Double D inhaled. "Of all the deportable, inconsiderate-

"Pickpocketing the clothes from the lost and found! Why didn't we ever think about that?" Marie gasped. Double D shot her another glare which earned him another coy but nervous smile.

"I suppose such a despicable act of embezzlement would be right up your alley Eddy." Double D continued. "The question is, why during Ms. Cladenblack's class? Why not before or afterward?"

"Aw the class was a bust!" Eddy dismissed. "Total Snoresville! I had to do something to save my brain from drowning in boredom so I decided to see what goodies were at the lost and found." Eddy's face suddenly screwed up as if he remembered what he was being interrogated for in the first place. "But I didn't take the stupid trophy! I swear!"

"Yeah right," Marie sneered. "If you're willing to steal money out of other kid's pockets, how do we know you're not willing to steal a shiny gold trophy?" Marie pointed at Eddy. "Once a thief, always a thief!"

"Oh yeah!?" Eddy snapped at Marie's finger. "Well, what about you, Little Miss Kanker! You and your sisters stole plenty of crap from us and the other kids! How do we know you didn't steal the freaking trophy!?"

"Why you?" Marie and Eddy glared at each other, teeth bared and nerves all but stirred. Double D pinched his nose again as he jolted down what Eddy had said. "Thank you Eddy, that will be all for now."

"Huh?" Marie broke her visual contact with Eddy. "Are you serious, Double D? I mean, look at him!" She pointed to Eddy again. "He's so obviously guilty!"

"All are innocent until proven guilty, Marie." Double D said as he flipped through his notebook. "And as of now, we have three potential leads that might just lead us to the real culprit!"

"Hah! In your face, Flower Girl!" Eddy laughed to himself, only for his laughter to die as Marie turned back to him with a most feral look on her face, foam pouring forth through her teeth. She grabbed Eddy, lifted him over her head, and stomped toward the door. "H-H-Hey? What are you doing?" Eddy asked but got no reply. Marie swung open the door and tossed Eddy out into the hall. She slammed the door hard enough to crack it, allowing the sound of Eddy crashing into the lockers and whimpering in pain afterward to be heard through the cracks.

"Well, that was stupid,"

"I'll admit this interrogation could have gone much better," Double D agreed as he got up from the table, still flipping through his notes. "But we did get more information to go on so it wasn't a total waste of time."

"Yeah, yeah!" Marie felt more petals coming on and muttered "Crap!" to herself before jumping toward the trash can next to the broken door and letting them out. Double D winced then rushed toward Marie, patting her back as she expelled the petals. "Marie! Are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine! Double D!" She muttered as she lifted her head from the trash can, a single bittersweet petal stuck to her mouth. She stared down at the petals inside of the trash can and with an annoyed groan, wiped the last one away from her mouth. "Let's just get this show on the road already."

---

Before long, Double D and Marie were back in the hallway where the damaged trophy case rested. By now, the janitor had come along and cleaned all the broken glass and pieces of Rolf's potato off the hallway. Gone too were the faded footprints that led the duo to Ms. Cladenblack's class. Seeing the trophy case reminded Marie of the piece of brick she still held in her pocket and she briefly considered telling Double D about it. Before she could open her mouth to speak, however, he brandished his magnifying glass yet again and held it under the fluorescent light above them in a way so as to produce a sheen.

"Well Marie, are you ready to take the next step in our quest to catch that devious culprit and return the Award for Outstanding Community Service!?" He shouted.

"Sure," Marie answered unenthusiastically as she shielded herself from the light beaming off of the magnifying glass, all thought of the piece of brick in her pocket forgotten.

"Very well." Double D said. "Then let us begin!" Staring down at the floor before him with the magnifying glass, he headed down the hall with Marie nonchalantly following him, her arms behind her head in a lax manner. "Given the testimony given by our persons of interest, all we have to do is go down this hall and investigate the three locations we've been given."

"And it looks like we're already at stop number one," Marie spoke up as she pointed toward the upcoming doors in their path. One leading to the boy's bathroom and one leading to the girl's bathroom.

"Given his testimony, this would be the bathroom Kevin occupied during his break," Double D said as he stopped before the boy's bathroom. Carefully, he reached into the underside of his hat and pulled out a box of latex gloves, a pair of which he slipped over his hands. "Well, I guess even a detective must have to get his hands dirty sometimes"

"Right, so let's go!" Marie said behind Double D, startling the poor boy.

"M-Marie!" Double D suddenly shouted. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Um..going with you?" Marie answered with her eyebrow cocked.

"Can't you read?" Double D asked as he pointed the sign above the door. "This is the boy's bathroom!"

"So?"

"So!?" Double D faced-palmed. "The fact that we are investigating a missing trophy does not give us permission to ignore school policy, Marie! Please understand!"

Marie fumed and threw her hands in the air "Alright! Alright! Whatever!" She stomped toward the girl's bathroom. "I have to take care of some personal business anyway!" She swung the door open and slammed it shut behind her.

"Oh Marie," Double D sighed before entering the boy's bathroom. Almost as soon as he peered his head inside, he was astounded by the horrific sight of a destroyed stall, the walls bent backward, and a smoldering blackened hole where the toilet used to be. Above the whole mess was a large hole with bits of rubble still trickling from the sides.

"Seems Kevin's story checks out," Double whispered nervously to himself as he hesitantly walked up to the ruined commode. He took out his pen and notepad and scribbled down every little detail he could identify concerning the scene. Trophy or no trophy, this incident of blatant vandalism was going to be reported when all was said and done. Double D would see to that.

"Now who would-

Double D's sentence was interrupted by the sound of the door slamming. Turning around, he spotted Rolf standing near the entrance, his eyes wide with terror. "Oh Hello, Rolf!" Double D greeted awkwardly. "W-What brings you here today?"

Double D wanted to kick himself for asking such a stupid question.

"No questions, Egghead Ed-boy!" Rolf shouted. "Rolf must answer the call of the wild!" With this, he rushed toward the bathroom stall, his hands unbuckling his pants as he vanished behind the door. Only a few seconds later, a small explosion occurred inside the stall with the screaming Rolf shooting through the roof until only his legs were visible, his pants around his ankles but thankfully with his underwear still on.

"Oh my!" Double D shouted as he watched Rolf's legs dangle. "It would seem the culprit has rigged all the toilets in this restroom!"

"Holy crap!" Marie cackled behind Double D, one hand on her side while the other was pointed toward Rolf's legs. "Whoever came up with this was a genius!"

"Gah!" For the second time in the span of five minutes, Double D jumped at Marie's sudden appearance. "Marie!" He shouted. "What are you doing here? I thought you said you needed to use the girl's restroom!"

"Oh lighten up, Double D!" Marie scoffed. "I already finished up." She turned her attention back to Rolf. "I noticed tall, dark, and weird rushing inside so I thought you might need some backup in case he was working for the bad guy." She let out another laugh. "Looks like someone already took care of that for me huh?"

"I highly doubt that Rolf's intentions were anything other than using the facilities for their intended purpose." Double D grumbled. "In any case, with what we've witnessed here, I think it's safe to say that Kevin's story checks out and so we can cross him off the suspect list." Double D flipped through his notebook for the first page and crossed it out, indicating that the lead was exhausted. "On to the library, I suppose."

"Oy! The library?" She sighed. "Let's just go!" She sighed as she left the boy's bathroom. Double D groaned as went to follow Marie out the door. Before he left, however, he reached into his pockets, pulled out a roll of yellow tape marked with the words "DANGER!" over and over again, and spread it all over the entrance. "That'll be the last victim hurt by your sick idea of a joke." Double D mused as he continued down the hall.

It wasn't long before the investigating duo were in front of the library and this time, Double D was a little too eager to pull Marie inside. "Come on, Marie!" He said with excitement in his voice, "A world of literature awaits!"

"I think I'm gonna be sick!" Marie complained as she was finally pulled in. As a Kanker, hell, as an ordinary non-straight A student, Marie had hardly visited the library for anything other than mandatory study time. The very idea that people actually came to such a boring place of their own free will and read for...for...fun genuinely scared her. The fact that one of these freaks was none other than her love muffin didn't help matters one bit.

"Alright!" Double D said once he had stopped in the middle of the library. "As tempted as I am to browse for the newest arrivals to this already vast collection of wonderful, wonderful literature, we need to keep our heads straight and our minds focused on the task at hand!" He turned to his unwilling partner. "Don't you agree, Marie?"

"Whatever gets us out of this freakshow faster," Marie retorted as she rubbed her arms. "So what are we looking for exactly?"

"Given what Jonny said, we should search for the book that he claimed to have checked out, Nuts and Bolts. If what he claimed about the content of the book is true then it should be in the nature section. Follow me!" Double D led Marie toward the back of the library between two bookshelves, both of which boasted a small sign saying Nature in simple black text. Once between the bookshelves, Double D began searching for Jonny's book in earnest and found it within a minute. "Gotcha!" He whispered as he pulled Nuts and Bolts out of N section. The cover displayed a tree branch being blown up by lightning. "So far, so good," Double D muttered as he flipped through the back of the book, only to utter a soft gasp as he reached the end. "Drat!"

"What is it?" Marie asked.

"It would seem Jonny's signature filled out the last space on the previous date due slip." Double D showed Marie the new slip placed at the end of the book, bearing no name at all.

"Well what do we do now?" Marie inquired.

"I'm afraid we have no choice. We'll have to head to the back room where they keep the records. This way!" Double D once again grabbed Marie's hand and dragged her out of the Nature section and toward a glass door at the far right of the room. There were black words on the glass saying PRIVATE ROOM! STAFF ONLY!

"Um, Double D?" Marie asked. "Not that I really care but it looks like us going into that room is against the rules."

"That would indeed be the case," Double D said as he once again reached inside his hat, this time pulling out a small gold key. "If it weren't for my constant free time spent helping the librarian." He looked at the key with a thoughtful sigh. "It pays to be charitable!"

"Right," Marie said, wanting to ignore the part of her that actually found logic in Double D's words. Thankfully, there was something else reoccupying her mind at the same time. "So what, you just carry all your worldly possessions in that hat?"

Double D chuckled as he unlocked the door. "Only the essentials, Marie." He said. "Only the essentials." He opened the door and held it for Marie who walked right in. He entered himself, closed the door, and placed the key back in his hat. Inside the room were a bunch of mobile shelves with boxes inside them. Within these boxes were numerous files, the oldest of which dated back to when the school first opened.

"So much old crap," Marie whispered. "How are we gonna find that slip?"

"We'll have to find the file containing the newest slips to be removed from their books." Double D answered as he searched through the first file, put it down, and started on a second one. "Unfortunately, the librarian isn't nearly as organized with used slips as she is with the books themselves so it'll be a little harder."

"Ok." Marie said as she watched Double D continue to dig through the records. She found herself drawn in by the stern, focused face he was making as he searched box after box for the old slip for Nuts and Bolts. She felt her cheeks heat up and her throat once again fill with petals. She didn't bother trying to fight it. She coughed into her hand, cupping it so as to catch the petals. Her coughing, of course, caught Double D's attention and he turned to her with a worried expression on his face.

"Marie?" He asked. "Are you alright?"

Marie shook her head as she coughed out the last of the petals. "D-Don't worry about me," She said. "Just worry about the stupid slip."

"V-Very well," Double D as he slowly turned back to the boxes. Marie watched him for a time and looked back down at the petals in her hands. Blue with a few red droplets on them. Sighing, she looked around for a trash can and upon spotting one next to the entrance, dropped them inside. She looked back at her hands and saw a single petal hanging on for dear life to the side of her right hand. She brushed it off without mercy and went to help Double D with the boxes. It would be about 10 minutes before Double D would finally find the slip.

"Eureka!" He shouted as pulled it out of the box. "I found it! I found the slip!"

"Finally," Marie said as she tossed the box in her hands to the side. Thankfully, there were hardly any slips in there so no real mess was made. "So...what's the verdict?"

Double D walked underneath the light and examined the slip closely. Sure enough, the last name signed onto the slip at the bottom was Jonny's.

"Well it looks like Jonny's story checks out," Double D said. "He did indeed check out that book last."

"Ok but what about Plank?" Marie asked. "Didn't he say he left the hunk of wood here or something?"

"True, true," Double D tapped his chin. "I suppose we should look for him, just to make absolutely sure of Jonny's innocence."

Marie nodded and went to search for Plank, only to notice Double D putting all the boxes back in their proper places. She groaned in annoyance and begrudgingly helped him.

"Thank you, Marie." He said once it was all done and they left the back room together.

"Whatever," Marie muttered. "Let's just find that hunk of termite food already!"

And so for the next 20 minutes or so, Double D and Marie searched high and low for Plank. But despite their best efforts, they could not find drawn eye nor wooden corner of the missing object. The two were so caught up in their search for Plank that they wound up crashing into each other in the middle of the library. They shouted in pain and rubbed their heads as they recovered from their daze.

"Alright," Double D choked first. "I think it's safe to say that Plank's presence lies elsewhere."

"I bet you if anything that little weasel Jonny came back for him once we let him go!" Marie hissed. "That rat!"

Double D wagged his finger. "We shouldn't jump to any conclusions, Marie." He said. "In any case, Jonny's signature in that slip proves that he did in fact check out Nuts and Bolts and that leads credence to his story. I believe our energy would be better used to investigate the final lead we have."

"You mean the Lost and Found?" Marie asked.

"Indeed," Double D said. "Let's go!

"Gladly," Marie chirped with glee in her voice, relieved to be getting out of that stuffy library. The duo continued down the hall toward where the Lost and Found was. It was a room Double D was quite familiar with as he was constantly asked to organize the lost property in there. Sometimes, his friends would even join him although they did little to actually help and if what Eddy claimed was true, Double D would have to see to it that he was banned. Before long, the duo had finally made it to the room.

"Well, here we are," Double D said. "The Lost and Found. The final frontier of our little investigation, wouldn't you say?"

"I guess so," Marie said. "But just what is it that we're looking for here?"

"I'm afraid that's something I simply don't know, Marie." Double D confessed. "Somehow, we have to either prove or disprove that Eddy was here today or else the case will grow cold and the Award for Outstanding Community Service will be..." Double D froze up, his eyes teary and his lips quivering.

Marie felt disturbed seeing Double D like this. "Double D?" She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Are you ok?"

Double D shook his head as he stepped away from Marie's arm. "I-I'm fine!" He sniffled. "Let us continue with the investigation."

"R-Right," Marie nodded as Double D opened the door. She stepped into the room and immediately became enamored by all the stuff laying inside. Clothes, pencils, and erasers all piled together in neat, orderly stacks, all lost by owners who probably didn't even realize they were gone and therefore would never come looking for them again. It was as if this loot was just begging to be taken and before Marie realized it, her trembling hand was already reaching for a pearl necklace sitting on a shelf in front of her. She snickered to herself as her fingers grazed it.

"Ahem!" Double D's voice caused Marie to freeze up. "Marie, what do you think you're doing?"

"Uhh, dusting for prints?" Marie softly chuckled.

"Marie, every single object in this room has an owner who's missing it terribly." Double D wagged his finger again. "I do not condone Eddy's thievery of its contents in any way shape or form nor will I condone yours so please control yourself!"

"Alright fine!" Marie muttered as she stuffed both of her hands inside her pockets, mumbling to herself in annoyance.

Double D continued to glare at her for a few moments to ensure that the message had gotten across and once he was sure that it was, he continued to search through the lost belongings for anything that might be a clue as to whether or not Eddy had been here today. He moved every little trinket, relocated every pencil, and rearranged everything before putting it back together in the exact same way. Marie felt more petals develop in her throat as she watched him search and placed a hand over her mouth as she realized there was no trash can in sight. She looked around desperately for something to expel the petals in and her eyes landed on an empty light-pink purse. She grabbed it and hacked the petals up as Double D watched in disgruntled silence as he kneeled before a chest.

"Marie!" She whispered loudly once she was finished. "I've already explained that everything in here belongs to someone! That's someone's bag you just coughed your petals into!"

"Gee, sorry!" Marie coughed out a single petal more as she glared at Double D. "Not my fault this place doesn't have a trash can!"

"Seriously," Double D shook his head. "Some people just have no tact," With this, he opened the chest, and screamed as a familiar head suddenly reared up from the inside. Marie screamed as well, dropping the purse and allowing the petals to spill out.

"Who's there!?" The boy asked in a casual voice, his dim-witted eyes not even bothering to look at the two people before him but instead just staring around him.

"Ed?" Double D asked once he got his bearings back. "Is that you?"

"Sure is, Double D!" Ed happily chirped. " Ready and waiting for Eddy!"

"Waiting for Eddy?" Marie asked as she stepped closer. "Waiting for what?"

"To steal the cash from the clothes in this room like we always do," Ed explained. "Eddy said that if I sniffed out more than $50 this time, he'd buy me pudding skin! I love pudding skin, Double D!"

"I know Ed," Double D said. "But the real question is, how long have you been waiting for Eddy?"

"Hmmm." Ed began his unusual brand of thinking process which involved rubbing his lips downward over and over again with his finger, allowing them to tremble like a door stopper being pulled to the side. This went on for an agonizing long time, during which Marie briefly considered killing Ed. The idea that Double D might activate that satellite and expose her strange illness to the world stopped her from doing so and even as he possessed more patience than Marie, Double D still couldn't help but glance at the watch every now and then. Finally, after what seemed like a year and a half to the investigating duo. Ed spoke up.

"I think since this morning guys,"

"This morning?" Double D exclaimed. "And you haven't seen Eddy in all that time?"

"Not since you were crying in front of the trophy case like a baby, Double D." Ed said.

Double D blushed with an angry frown as Marie chuckled. "Thanks for that, Ed." He muttered sarcastically before shaking his head. "But if you haven't seen Eddy here in all day, that means...

"The little rat lied to us!" Marie finished with a shout. "Double D, I think we just found our culprit!"

"We shouldn't jump to any conclusions, Marie." Double D warned. "But I agree, this development warrants another talk with Eddy." He patted Ed on the head. "Thank you for your help Ed."

"You're welcome Doubl-

Before Ed couldn't finish his sentence, Marie slammed the top half of the chest on his head and grabbed Double D's arm. "Come on, let's go!"

"But Marie!" Double D shouted even as she was already racing down the hall with him in tow. "What about Ed!? You could have given him serious brain damage!"

"Pfft! Yeah right." Marie scoffed. "Like there's any more damaging that brain!"

"Marie!" Double D called out as the two vanished from the view of the Lost and Found. From inside the chest, Ed, having already recovered from the blow to the head couldn't only think of one thing to say.

"It's dark." He laughed to himself.

---

It was after lunch and Eddy was feeling content, whistling to himself as he continuously threw a few quarters he had scammed off of Jimmy in his palm. The rather undignified interrogation incident this morning was far from his mind and all he looked forward to now was getting home and spending his ill-gotten gain on some jawbreakers. As he was approaching the turn that would lead him to his next classroom, however. He noticed Marie appear from behind it, grinning to herself as she stared at him. Eddy wasn't too concerned at first, given that things weren't the same between the Kankers and the Eds anymore and even shot her his own smug look of confidence. She he neared her, she crossed her arms and leaned to the wall, her smile shrinking into a knowing smirk. It was then that Eddy started to get nervous, sweat trickling from his brow.

Without a single word of acknowledgment to the Kanker, Eddy stopped in his tracks, turned around, and started walking the opposite way. He placed the quarters in his pocket for safekeeping and continued to whistle his tune, albeit in a slower and much more subdued manner. His gaze shifted from the hallway before him to Marie who remained in the same place and made no effort to move and then back again. On and one, back and forth it went until, after returning his gaze from Marie once more, Eddy spotted Double D standing before him. His arms were also crossed but the expression on his face was stern. Eddy started to panic, realizing he was in the middle of an ambush. He frantically looked over his surroundings and saw another hallway to his left. This calmed him down enough to allow him to stare at Double D with a natural expression for a few seconds before taking off down the hallway.

"Eddy!" Double D called out.

"Get back here you little runt!" Marie shouted as she gave chase, Double D following her with her usual running stance.

Eddy raced down the hallway with enough speed to leave a cloud of dust behind him, making it all that harder for his pursuers to reach him. He noticed this and turned his head and blew a raspberry at the cloud. "Ha! Can't catch me now can ya!?"

Just then, the cloud dispersed as Marie ran through, carrying Double D on her back. He was wearing goggles and an aviator's hat and in his hands, he held a small but powerful fan.

"Double-crosser! Eddy growled as he picked up the pace, the walls of the hallway becoming a blur to him. "Gotta get away! Gotta get aw-

B L A M!

Eddy was so caught up in trying to lose his pursuers that he failed to notice the door opening in front of him. He slammed into it with enough force to become a pancake which slipped off slowly and fluttered to the floor like a dead leaf. "Hello?" He groaned as he landed, stars in his eyes.

Nazz peeked her head out from behind the door and covered her mouth with a blush as she noticed Eddy on the ground. "Whoops! Sorry dude!" She giggled to herself as she walked away, allowing the door to close and Eddy's body to reconstitute itself. His back hit the wall and for a brief moment, he allowed himself to relax, only to see two shadows fall over him. Gulping, Eddy hesitantly looked up to see Marie and Double D staring down at him, the latter with his arms still crossed and the former with her hands on her hips and a sadistic grin on her face. Eddy started shaking as he backed into the wall and began to tremble. "D-Double D! Marie! Wh-What a surprise! What brings you guys here?"

"Eddy," Double D began. "We went to check the Lost and Found. Did you know you had a prior engagement with Ed today?"

"Crap!" Eddy's pupils shrank as he realized how screwed he was.

"He confirmed your little story about picking the pockets over there," Marie said. "But he said you hadn't been there in all day which means..." Marie chuckled as she slammed her palm next to Eddy's head. "You owe us an explanation!"

"Ok, look!" Eddy held his hands up. "Clearly this is all just some huge misunderstanding!"

"Eddy!" Double D shouted. "No more lies! What did you leave Ms. Cladenblack's room to do?"

Eddy gulped again as his glance repeatedly shifted between Marie's vicious sneer and Double D's condescending frown. Sweating bullets and shaking uncontrollably, Eddy realized he had nowhere to go. "Alright! Alright! I lied about the Lost and Found...mostly."

"Ha! I knew it!" Marie shoved her finger into Eddy's nose. "It was you! So where's the trophy, pipsqueak!?"

"What? What trophy? Are you still on about that stupid award?" Eddy slapped Marie's hand away. "Because I didn't take it!"

"Then just what did you do when you left Ms. Cladenblack's class?" Double D asked.

Eddy's gaze shifted again, this time ensuring only that only the three of them were in the hall then he leaned closer to them while putting his hand to his mouth. "The truth is, I rigged the toilets to explode!"

"You what!?" Double D and Marie said in unison.

"I knew that shovel-chin Kevin was going to use the bathroom so I went first and planted a few of my brother's stink bombs inside the toilets!" Eddy started to laugh hysterically. "You should have seen his face when he came back to the classroom smoking!" He wiped a tear from his eye.

"Eddy...How could you..." Double D stammered, failing to understand what his friend would have to gain from the willful destruction of school property. Marie, however, started chuckling herself. "That's pretty good."

"Marie!"

"I know right!?" Eddy wheezed through his laughter. "I got him good! Just don't tell him anything!"

"Too late dork!"

All three froze as the voice to their side shouted. Slowly, all three preteens turned to see Kevin peering out from behind the open classroom door, his face red and his teeth bared.

"Kevin?" Double D asked.

"Kevin." Marie scoffed.

"Kevin!" Eddy cried out fearfully.

"I knew it was you!" Kevin barked as he reached for Eddy. The smallest Ed tried to flee but Kevin's hand managed to grab the seat of his pants, keeping him from getting very far.

"Come on, Kevin!" Eddy cried even as he still attempted to flee. "Can't you take a joke!?"

"Oh I can take a joke!" Kevin chuckled darkly. "Let me show you how!" With a final yank, Kevin pulled Eddy into the classroom, his quarters falling out of his pockets and onto the floor.

"Mommy!" Eddy screamed as he vanished into the classroom, the door slamming shut. From behind it, the sound of fists slamming into flesh, Eddy's pleas for mercy, and Kevin's sinister laughter could be heard.

"Well, that solves the mystery of the exploding toilets at least." Marie chirped as she patted Double D on the back. "Good job!"

To her surprise, that's when Double D started bawling. He just dropped to the floor and broke down into a sob. Marie stood dumbfounded, her hand still fixed as if it were still patting Double D's back. "Umm...Double D?"

"Oh it's hopeless!" Double D screamed. "We've exhausted every lead we had and turned up nothing but a red herring! We'll never find that trophy!"

Marie finally put her hand down. "Well...Well what do you care?" She kneeled down to his level. "I mean, I know you love this school and all that junk but there's gotta be a limit, right!? Why are you so obsessed with some stupid trophy?"

"Because...Because I'm the one who won it for the school!" Double D shouted through his tears.

Now it was Marie's pupils who shrank. "I'm sorry?"

"I won that award in my first year here, after countless hours of community service!" Double D sniffled as he took a handkerchief from his pocket and blew into it. "I was so proud the day they put it in that display case. It reminded me that one person really could make a difference if they only tried." He blubbered again. "Although it seems things have changed since then. We've lost and the thief's won!"

"Double D," Marie felt a strange emotion well inside her, one even more uncomfortable and alien to the Kanker than guilt.

Empathy.

She hated it. She hated seeing Double D in this state and she hated that she hated it. She felt more petals form in her throat but she swallowed them. "The hell they have!" Marie jumped back up and picked Double D up by his shoulders. "We're not gonna give up just yet, you got that sock head!?"

"But Marie," Double D wiped his tears away with his hankey. "We have no more leads nor any more evidence! There is no path we can follow that could lead us toward the culprit!"

"Oh I think there is," Marie said as she reached into her pocket and showed the piece of brick she held for Double D. "I found this in the same spot where that stupid trophy was!"

"Good lord!" Double D said as he took the brick in his hand. "It's a piece of brick! Could this have come from the very object used to smash into the confines of the trophy case and pilfer the Award for Outstanding Community Service!?"

"Maybe. Maybe not." Marie said. "But if anyone can find out for sure, it's bound to be you, Detective Double D."

"Detective Double D?" He mused on that for a bit before laughing to himself. "Oh dear, as much as that name rolls off the tongue, I'm afraid it would be quite a mouthful of an alliteration."

"Yeah...Triple D!" Marie suddenly realized.

"Please don't call me that!" Double D asked as he took out his magnifying glass and looked over the brick piece. "That being said, you are absolutely right Marie! We can't give up until we've exhausted all our leads and this little piece of debris is our last chance of capturing the culprit!" He pointed down the hall to where the mystery began. "To the trophy case!"

"Lead the way, Triple D!" Marie laughed.

"Please stop calling me that," Double D sighed.

---

It didn't take the duo long at all to reach the trophy case. By now, the teachers had caught wind of what was going on and barred the broken hole in the glass with tape and a sign saying "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" Clearly, it was meant to deter any would-be thieves from sticking their grubby little mitts inside the case. Thankfully, as hardly anyone actually cared about the trophies aside from Double D, all the remaining awards were safely behind the glass.

"Drat," Double D muttered to himself as he overlooked the case. "While I'm glad that the school is taking precautions against further thievery, the measures they took will make searching for further clues a tad bit harder, I'm afraid."

"Whatever you say, Triple D." Marie responded.

"I told you to..." He sighed heavily. "Never mind!" Deciding he would just accept his role as "Triple D" for the time being, he pressed his face against the glass and scanned the awards. The space where the Award for Outstanding Community Service once rested was still empty, save for a small spud from Rolf's potato that, disturbingly enough, had somehow begun to take root. Aside from that, however, there was nothing inside the case that could serve as a clue and so Double D decided to focus his attention on the piece of brick once again. He examined it closely, taking note of every little crack, edge, and shape of the whole thing.

"Find anything Triple D?" Marie asked.

"Well, upon close examination of this piece of brick," Double D began. "I am convinced of at least two things. First, this piece came off from the corner of the brick that was used to smash the trophy, most likely the first part to make contact with the glass. The second is that the brick is fairly old, hence why the piece broke off in the first place."

"Wow!" Marie said, trying to hide the astonishment in her voice. "All that from just a look?"

"Well it's little more than speculation," Double D said. "And will remain so until we can find the brick this piece came from."

"How do we do that?"

"No clue I'm afraid." Double D said sadly. "There's no telling what the perpetrator did to his weapon after he committed the deed. If he's even a little intelligent, he most certainly would have...hid...it..." Double D trailed off, his face betraying a look of utter epiphany.

"Triple D?" Marie waved her hand over his face, feeling unnerved as his pupils hardly moved in response. "You alright?"

After a few more uncomfortable seconds, Double D started walking down the hall, taking the same path to Ms. Cladenblack's room that the faded footprints had led him and Marie. The blue-haired Kanker uttered a confused murmur before following him.

"Triple D?" Marie asked again. "What's wrong? Why are we going back to Ms. Cladenblack's class?"

"Sometimes, in detective stories, the protagonist must retrace his steps and reexamine the crime scene for new clues." Double D answered as he neared the classroom door."I think that time has come for me!" He opened the door and marched right toward the window. He opened it up and looked down at the anthill he had found at the bottom earlier. He stared at it intently and even examined it with his magnifying glass as Marie walked over. "Okay," She said as she looked down herself "It's an anthill. Are we gonna interrogate the ants now?"

"Ah hah!" Double D shouted all of a sudden, spooking Marie into bumping her head against the top of the window. "I knew it!"

"Knew what!?" Marie asked. She gasped as Double D crawled out of the window, landed on his back next to the anthill, and jumped back to his feet. "This is no anthill, Marie!" Double D declared as he reached into his hat and pulled out a tiny plastic shovel. "This is proof of our culprit's guilt!" He started digging at the mound, taking tiny helpings of dirt with each jab. It was clear that Double D was trying to be precise about the removal of the dirt so as not to damage whatever it was that he thought was underneath. Marie sighed in impatience, jumped through the window herself, and ripped the shovel from Double D's hands.

"Hey!" He whined.

Marie tossed the shovel back over her shoulder inside the window, fell to her knees, and cracked her fingers. Then, with her trademark Kanker cackle, began ripping through the ground like a maddened groundhog. Double D winced as he saw all the dirt and debris that Marie was sending through the open window but couldn't open his mouth to say anything. After a few minutes of frantic digging, an out-of-breath Marie reached into the hole and pulled out a small brick with a chunk missing from its corner. "Is this what you were looking for, Muffin?" She asked.

"Y-Yes," Double D produced a pair of tongs from you-know-where and grabbed the brick. "Thank you, Marie." He examined the brick with his magnifying glass for a few moments and then placed the smaller piece Marie had with her into the ruined corner. It was a near-perfect fit. "There's no doubt about it!" Double D said. "The culprit used this brick to break into the trophy case and steal the Award for Outstanding Community Service!" He placed the brick in a plastic bag. "And I think I know just where it came from!" Double D gestured for Marie to follow him and dashed to the backside of the school. He stopped just before a certain spot near the read exit and held up an arm to stop Marie from coming too close.

Standing before the two mature detectives was a compost garden currently under construction, the brick wall surrounding it incomplete and with a noticeable brick missing from the top.

"The perpetrator must have pilfered the brick from here." Double D said. He looked down and noticed a few sets of footprints in the now-dried concrete leading to and from the unfinished wall. From the indent on the soles, Double D could tell they were sandals.

"I think we just found our biggest clue yet, Marie." Double D said happily. "Our scarlet letter so to speak that will prove the guilt of our thief without a shadow of a doubt!"

"Make that two!" Marie laughed as she held her hands up in Double D's face, showing off the dirt underneath her fingernails that she wasn't even going to try to get out. Marie continued to giggle as Double D, sporting a nervous smile, held his hands in front of himself and backed up a little.

---

It was near the end of the school day and Jonny was walking down the hallway, his hands in his pockets and his mouth whistling a tune. Plank was nowhere in sight but strangely enough, this didn't seem to bother Jonny who continued to whistle as he approached the school entrance. Right as he was about to step out, however, Double D suddenly entered the school, barring Jonny's path. "Good day, Jonny!"

"Oh! Uh, good day Double D." Jonny replied.

"I hope the rest of your day was joyous despite the unpleasantness of this morning." Double D placed his hands together. "I sincerely hope you can forgive me and Marie."

"Water under the bridge," Jonny laughed nervously. He started to sweat and took a step toward the right of Double D "Well, I gotta go! See ya tomorrow!"

"Wait!" Double D scampered back onto Jonny's path. "Before you go, I was wondering if you would help out the school by participating in a student survey!"

Jonny's heart began to race and he stepped back."Survey? What for?"

"Nothing important," Double D said. "We just to know what kind of shoes kids are wearing these days," Double D placed his hands behind his back and causally walked toward Jonny who began stepping back with a whimper. "Would you mind letting me examine your sandals?"

"My sandals?" Jonny asked. "I don't know, Double D. You're kinda acting weird." Jonny continued to step back, too focused on the approaching Double D to notice a lone pencil rolling toward him from behind. He happened to step on the pencil and tripped, falling on his back with a thud. This left his cement-caked soles exposed to Double D who was quick to pull a camera from under his shirt and snap a picture.

"My my," Double D said. "How interesting!" The photo slid out of the camera and Double D took it out. "I didn't realize dried concrete under the shoe was the in-style these days."

Jonny whimpered as he flipped himself over and started to crawl away, only to bump into Marie. "Not to mention," She grabbed Jonny's right hand and squeezed the wrist so that his fingers separated, allowing her to see the dirt settled beneath each fingernail. "Dirt under the nails!"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" Jonny pulled his arm out of Marie's grasp. "Leave me alone!" He hopped to his feet and dashed past Marie, leaving a trail of dust behind with how fast he was going. "Why that little weasel!"

"Well, madam," Double D said as he bulled his makeshift fan out of his hat and blew the dust away. "Shall we go on a weasel hunt?"

Marie stared at the fan in awe before snicker. "Man, you really do keep everything in there!"

...

"Outta my way!" Jonny cried as he pushed through a couple of students walking down the hall. Where exactly he was going, he had no idea but he figured if he could just create enough distance between him and his pursuers, that would be enough to save him.

To save them.

Rolf, bandaged up from his little accident in the bathroom Eddy rigged, happened to be walking down the hall next. "Ah Jonny the Wood Boy!" He greeted. "Tell Rolf, why are you sprinting like the village idiot on Beat-A-Fool day?"

"Not now, Rolf!" Jonny screamed as he blitzed past Rolf, causing the son of a shepherd to spin uncontrollably down the hallway, his bandages coming off one by one. "Nana! An aspirin for Rolf!" He cried as he tilted to the left and crashed into one of the lockers with enough force to cave in the door. Marie, carrying Doudle D on her shoulders, of course, sped past Rolf while Double D used the fan to clear the dust Jonny had kicked up.

"Oh dear," Double D said. "Faster Marie! I'm afraid we're losing him!"

"Don't need to tell me twice!" Marie picked up the speed, forcing Double D to grab onto her head for dear life. The fan was lost in the process but by then, Marie was cutting through the dust with ease. Double D coughed as some of it got into his mouth and eyes.

Meanwhile, Jonny had turned the hallway only to see Ed casually walking in his path. The big lug was carrying a bruised and beaten Eddy in his right arm like a sack of potatoes. "Aw don't be sad, Eddy!" He said. "We can go to my house and I'll whip us up some gravy cakes! Yum!"

"Let go of me, you stupid-

"Hi Jonny!" Ed greeted right as Jonny sped past him. As with Rolf, the big lug was sent spinning uncontrollably, shooting Eddy through the roof in the process so that only his legs remained in the hallway. "Whhoooooooo!" Ed giggled with delight as his spinning slowed to a crawl, only for Marie to speed past him and force him to spin in the opposite direction.

"Oh dear!" Double D whimpered. "Sorry Ed!"

"Hi Double D!" Ed was all that Ed responded with as he spun back under Eddy's feet. Just then, the shortest Ed fell from the roof with a scream and broke his back against Ed's head. The two fell unconscious to the floor.

"Oh dear," Double D mumbled before shaking his head and returning his attention to Jonny. "Give up Jonny!" Double D shouted. "You can't get away!"

"Just watch me!" Jonny shouted back as he noticed an exit at the end of the hallway. One that would grant him nice shrouded woods to hide in.

Marie noticed it too. "Crap! We'll lose him!"

"Jonny no!"

"So long suckers!" Jonny laughed as he leaped toward the exit. "So lo-

*WHAM*

If only he had noticed the door right next to the exit before it slammed open and hit him in the face. Nazz poked her head out and covered her mouth in shock as she watched Jonny slide down the door. "Whoops! Sorry dude!" She walked through the exit herself, muttering to herself how she needed to stop doing that. Dazed and in pain, Jonny pulled himself away from the door and rubbed his head as he felt Marie and Double D loom over him. Double D jumped off of Marie's back and pointed his finger at Jonny. "Alright, Jonny! We got you now! There's no point in delaying the inevitable so why don't you-

"Tell us where the trophy is and we might let you live, Baldy!" Marie grabbed Jonny by the shoulders and slammed him against the wall. "Got it!?"

"I didn't take the trophy! I swear!" Jonny cried.

"No more lies," Double D scolded with a finger wag. "We found the brick, Jonny. Not to mention the cement on your shoes and the dirt under your fingernails!"

"Yeah!" Marie agreed. "If you didn't take the stupid trophy, who did!?"

"It wasn't me!" Jonny pleaded. "It was...It was..."

"Yes?" Double D leaned in closer.

"It was...Plank!"

"What?" Both Marie and Double D asked in unison. Marie even let Jonny drop to the floor.

"It's true!" Jonny cried. "Plank was the mastermind behind the whole plot!" He burst into tears. "But he didn't mean any harm! It was an act of love! Love I tells ya!"

As Jonny continued to bawl, Double D held up his hands. "Slow down, Jonny!" He said. "Let's backtrack a little. Take us back to the beginning, will you?"

Jonny nodded with a sniffle as he wiped his nose. "It all began about a month ago. Me and Plank were just passing by the trophy case when he saw her."

"Her?" Marie asked.

"The Award for Outstanding Community Service." Jonny elaborated. "She was the most beautiful trophy the two of us had ever seen. I was happy enough just appreciating from afar but Plank, oh he was in love at first sight."

Double D and Marie looked at each other, the former blushing and the latter utterly confused. "Heh heh." Double D said. "It is a very good-looking trophy, aesthetically speaking."

Marie just scoffed, caught between thinking how stupid this sounded and feeling as if it made perfect sense. With Plank, you could never be too sure. "So what are you saying?" She asked. "You stole Plank's little girlfriend out of the case!"

"It wasn't like that!" Jonny defended. "Plank was in love but he's also a law-abiding citizen. He was perfectly content admiring her from behind the glass. I brought him to see her every day and they would talk for hours on end. It was perfect!" Jonny's expression became longing and thoughtful, leading Marie to gag. She could feel more petals in her chest but chose to ignore them for now. "But then we heard the news!" Jonny continued. "How they were planning to move the trophy case to the teacher's lounge where the students aren't allowed! Plank would never see the love of his life again!"

"I see," Double D rubbed his chin. "Well, that explains your motive. You wanted to ensure that Plank wouldn't lose his new girlfriend so early this morning, you pilfered a brick from the school's uncompleted compost heap and used it to smash through the trophy case so you could "rescue" her on Plank's behalf. Then, realizing you needed to get rid of the evidence, fled the scene to Ms. Cladenblack's class, opened the window, and buried the brick outside."

"But what about the library book?" Marie asked. "Did this freakshow forge his name in that slip or what?"

"On the contrary," Double D said. "I believe Jonny was telling us the truth that time. A convenient task ahead of him that would have granted him time to hide away his friend and his new lover from prying eyes while also giving him an alibi." Double D turned to Jonny quick enough to make the poor kid flinch. "Isn't that right, Jonny?"

Jonny whimpered. "They were planning to elope! They're probably millions of miles away from here by now!"

Double D sighed. "Just tell us where you stashed them, Jonny."

"T-The roof tile above the projector in the library," Jonny confessed.

...

Double D and Marie traveled to the library, the latter dragging Jonny along via rope. Double D spotted the projector immediately and against his better nature, climbed on top of it to get to the roof tile. He pushed it up and slid it to the side before climbing in.

"Find anything, muffin?" Marie asked.

"Not yet!" Double pulled out a flashlight from his hat and switched it on. He shone the light all over the place, searching for the runaway "couple" And then, as the flashlight rested at the end of the small crawlspace, he found them.

Plank and the Award for Outstanding Community Service were sitting across from each other, a suitcase packed next to each of them.

Double D sighed in unsurprised disappointment and reached for the trophy. He wiped it free of dust with his shirt and took a moment to admire its beauty. In a way, he could understand why Plank fell in love. "It's good to have you back, ol gal!" He leaned over the opening and shouted. "Here's the trophy Marie! Catch!" Before tossing it to her. There wasn't as much force behind the throw as he would have liked but Marie was able to catch it regardless. Her first thought as she looked it over herself was how it reminded her of the giant hood ornament of her father's car. The woman making up the bulk of the trophy was the same, angelic and semi-nude. "Wow," She thought. "No wonder Plank fell for her."

"Here you go, Jonny!" Double D shouted as he tossed Plank out of the roof.

"Buddy!" Jonny cried happily as he caught Plank in his arms. He twirled around a few times while hugging his friend before pressing the hunk of wood into his ear. "Really? Oh I see."

"What is Plank saying Jonny?" Double D asked as he tried to safely climb down the hole, only to lose his grip and fall right on the projector with a pained yelp.

"Planks says that he and the trophy had a discussion while they were eloping," Jonny explained. "They decided that as much as they love each other, they should stick to where they belong." Jonny took a deep breath. "Plank's gonna turn himself in."

Marie scoffed. "Right. Like they're gonna punish a block of wood."

---

"Plank! Buddy! Answer me!" Jonny cried as he slid down the detention door. Inside the room, Plank sat by himself at the far-left desk, a mountain of busywork in front of him. "Don't worry buddy!" Jonny cried. "You only have two more weeks to go! I'll be waiting!" Jonny screamed as he began to bawl.

From the corner of the hallway, both Marie and Double D watched on. "Wow!" The former said. "I can't believe they actually pinned the whole thing on the hunk of wood!"

"Stranger things have happened in the world of scholarly discipline." Double D groaned. "Luckily, since the trophy case has been successfully moved to the teacher's lounge, there's no risk of another incident like this repeating itself and Plank can start over with a clean slate, once he serves his time that is."

"Yeah," Marie punched Double D lightly on the shoulder. "And it's all thanks to you, Triple D!"

"Please stop calling me that," Double D rubbed his shoulder. "Although I can't take all the credit. If you hadn't found that piece of brick I overlooked, I would have never been able to piece the mystery together. Thank you Marie!"

"You're wel-" Marie coughed a little and turned away before hacking out a few more petals. Double D rushed to her side and patted her back. "Marie! Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Marie rasped. "Just promise me you'll solve the mystery of these stupid flower petals next, ok?"

Double D took a few seconds before snickering to himself. "Will do, Marie." He promised. "Will do."

(So yeah. That was the first time I ever wrote a detective story. I'm sorry if it sucked but I tried my best. In any case. the next chapter should be a little more light-hearted so stay tuned! Buh-bye!)