Roses Are Red and So Are The Violets

by Bloody Simpson Chibi

It's a simple balance really. The Eds do something. The Kankers come along and ruin it. Then unwanted smooching commences. But when Marie comes down with a bizarre illness, this balance is thrown out the window. Now the Eds have the advantage and everything's out of whack. But sometimes, it's in total chaos that we find the answers we seek. A Hanahaki fic. Edd x Marie. Rated T.

8. Parsley

Chapter 8: Parsley

(Okay, so while it seems Fanfiction has fixed the email issue (again) now we're dealing with an issue in actually saving changes to the documents. Sigh. The fun just never ends does it? Anyway, here's the chapter I spent too much time on.)

Double D was nervous. That wasn't really much of a new feeling for him of course, the poor boy was usually nervous on a day to day basis, whether it was from Eddy dragging him and Ed into another humiliating scam or running from the enraged children of the Cul-De-Sac after said humiliating scam failed or when the threat of the Kankers reared its ugly head although that last one hadn't been an issue in quite a long time.

In fact, none of those things were the reason he was so nervous today. The source of his anxiety was just a few feet away from him, currently dealing with his friend Eddy. It was easy for Double D to imagine it as a monster chewing him up and spitting him out once it was done with his short-tempered friend, like it had done with Ed before either of them. He trembled in fear, sweat jumping off his body like sparks from a fire work.

"NEXT!" An agitated adult voice called out as Eddy was sent flying and screaming out of the casting room. He landed rump-first onto the floor in front of Double D, scooting up and down a little before finally sliding in front of Ed who was currently busy emptying a jar of peanut butter. He noticed Eddy at once and popped his head out of the jar. "Eddy!" He beamed. "Did you get the part!"

Eddy angrily grabbed Ed's eyelids and lips and pulled him closer. "No Einstein! I didn't get the part!" He let the extremities to Ed's face go, resulting in the lovable oaf flying back hard and fast. The entire auditorium was shaken by the resulting crash as Double D crept closer to Eddy. "Those idiots wouldn't know talent if it bit them in the you-know-what!" He suddenly shouted as he turned to Double D. "I should have gotten the part!"

"There, there, Eddy." Double D said as she gently patted his friend's shoulder. "I'm sure that your time of cinematic stardom will come. Good things to those who wait as the saying goes." Both he and Eddy heard footsteps and looked to see a dazed and giggling Ed wandering around, stars still dancing around his head. He happened to step into a random bucket that the custodian had left after cleaning which tripped him up and caused him to fall. Eddy burst into laughter over Ed's predicament while Double D simply groaned.

"At least monobrow didn't get the part either!" Eddy laughed.

"Why do you care anyway, Eddy?" Double D asked. "I seem to recall you claiming the school forcing everyone to audition for a part in Friday night's play on top of giving everyone run a stand in the school festival was quote-on-quote "warming us up to slavery?" Double D used his fingers in these quotations.

"So?" Eddy refuted. "If I gotta be part of some stupid play, I should at least get to be the lead, don't you think?" Eddy dismissed the whole thing with an agitated handwave. "Ahh!" Why are they doing this stupid festival anyway?"

"The school is in need of funds, Eddy." Double answered. "And I for one am proud to contribute to collecting those funds for the security of our academic future!"

"Ah! You're just happy because they're actually letting you do your stupid book stand idea!" Eddy chuckled. "Good luck getting anyone to buy those 200-page sleeping pills!"

"Books are important!" Double D defended angrily as Eddy laughed. Behind them, Ed continued to wonder around aimlessly, the bucket having somehow gotten on his head.

"Heck, who needs the stupid play!?" Eddy waved his hand. "My bouncy castle stand is gonna make more moola than all the others combined.

"Moola which, may I remind you, will be given to the school!" Double D said sternly.

"Yeah yeah, whatever!" Eddy replied.

"NEXT!" The voice from before shouted even louder, petrifying Double D and Eddy. In the excitement of their conversation, they had both forgotten that the casting call was still underway. "Oh dear!" Double D began to tremble again. "It would seem my day of reckoning has arrived.

"Then reckon away!" Eddy suddenly shoved Double D toward the casting door without mercy, laughing as he slid toward the door.

"Eddy!" Double D shouted angrily as Eddy took off laughing but this anger was cut short with another shout of "NEXT!"

Double D jumped to his feet, trembling a bathed in sweat and it took every ounce of willpower he had to take a single step forward. "Take heart, Eddward." Double D said to himself. "The worst that could happen is you don't get the part."

And with that, he forced himself through the doorway.

---

"Come on, come on...Agggggh!" Marie shouted again as the water she added to her cut-out ghost marred its mouth and eyes again.

"The hell you trying to do there, Marie?" Lee asked as she carved a pumpkin. "Trying to scare the poor thing back to life?"

"Ha ha!" Marie deadpanned. "I'm trying to make the eyes and mouth bleed out a little so this thing stands some chance of scaring someone." She looked down at the ruined face before getting the wet wipe and trying again. "But the water I add just makes the whole thing melt off."

"But if you make the face all melty, won't that scare the younger kids?" May asked as she ran scissors through black construction paper, bat-shaped pieces falling to the floor one by one. The pile was touching her toes.

"It's a haunted house, stupid!" Marie shouted. "It's supposed to scare you!" She groaned as she started to draw the face once again. "Honestly, how do they expect us to make this work without any scary props?"

"Ah You know adults!" Lee handwaved. "Everything's gotta be squeaky clean for the kiddies!" By now, she was just about finished with her pumpkin. She poured some gas inside of it, lit a match which she then dropped in the pumpkin and flinched when the insides combusted, flames jutting out of the mouth and eyes. "Look at it this way, at least it beats having to wear a fancy dress and prancing around in that stupid school play!" She rolled the pumpkin out of the open door and into the hallway, taking great delight in the screams of panic that followed.

"I don't know," May said as she gathered all her paper bats and got up on the teacher's desk. "I think it would have been nice to get to play Juliet," Her eyes took on a dreamy quality as she started putting the bats up on the waiting string. "Especially if Big Ed got the part of Romeo." She sighed heavily, only to get knocked out by a small, uncarved pumpkin.

"Get real!" Lee shouted as her blonde sister fell behind the desk. "In a just world, you'd be lucky to be a tree! Now, me," Lee pressed her hand against herself. "If I had to absolutely be in some stupid play, I'd kill at the part of Juliet and with Eddy as my tiny Romeo, it would be the best show ever put on stage."

Marie scoffed as she put the finishing touches on her ghost. "Talk about delusions of gander." She was just about to pout a little bit of water on the ghost's face when Lee suddenly shoved her face into hers, knocking the ghost and water out of her hands.

"Oh yeah!?" The orange-haired Kanker shouted. "You think you and Double Dweeb could do any better huh?"

"Me? And Double D?" For just the briefest of moments, Marie imagined herself and Double D as Juliet and Romeo on a stage. Of course, her actual knowledge on the Shakespeare classic was limited so all it really amounted to was seeing herself and Double D in old-timey royal grab, waving to the adoring masses as they threw roses at them. Nonetheless, this vision was enough to make Marie blush and to produce an all-too familiar feeling in the back of her throat.

"Oh no!" Marie looked around for a trash can, spotted one next to the doorway and rushed to grab it. She pulled up with enough force to rip the poor thing from its bottom, allowing the trash inside of it to crumble on the floor. "Oh you useless son of a-" Marie's mouth filled with petals and she tossed the ruined trash can away before coughing up a cloud of tiny little specks. Lee couldn't help but snicker as May slowly rose her head up from behind the desk. The coughing didn't last to long and there was no blood this time but it did leave Marie feeling rather nauseous. She groaned as she rubbed her stomach.

"Gee, Marie, Maybe you should go to the nurse or something." May suggested.

"And tell them what? That I'm hacking up flower petals?" Marie wiped her mouth free of the few petals that remained there. "I'm fine!" She looked at her hand and examined the yellow specks that rested on there. She sighed and approached the doorway.

"Hey!" Lee called out. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I need to give these stupid petals to Double D," Marie hissed as she stepped out of the room. "So hold down the fort, would you?"

"Hold down the..." Lee gritted her teeth. "Hey! This haunted house thing is supposed to be your job!"

Lee's voice was loud enough to undo the bindings of the line holding the paper bats, resulting in them falling onto May who hardly reacted.

---

Double D was nervous, just as he was earlier that day. His body was still trembling and his skin was still peppered with sweat. It was a miracle he was even able to hold on to the reports he was to hand over to the Principal. Every footstep he took on his way to the Principal's office sounded like a rock hitting the floor and the hallway, one that he had traversed many times, seemed to stretch out for infinity. Double D was nervous, alright.

Just for a completely different reason than last time.

"The worst they could say is no! Ohh, Eddward you absolute buffoon!" He thought. "That would have been the better outcome! Oh how I envy Eddy and Ed's natural comical demeanors! No, curse my own sincere output when it comes to obeying adults! Oh woe is me!" He stopped himself for a moment and looked around, hoping that no one spotted him having that near-outburst. When he was certain that he was alone, he sighed and continued forward. "Alright Eddward! Compose yourself! This isn't the first time you have to perform for a public audience and unlike Eddy's wayward scams, there's a certain level of dignity attached to the role of Romeo Montague. It is one of Shakespeare's most beloved plays for Pete's sake!" This train of thought seemed to comfort Double D to some level but as with far too many times in the past, his moment of comfort of dashed as he continued to ponder the situation. "Still, to think she got the part of Juliet..."

So lost in his own head was Double D that he failed to notice Marie popping out from behind the hall. "Hey Double D"

"Huh?" Double D barely had time to realize Marie's presence before he slammed into her. He fell backward, the reports that he had cradled in his arms since leaving the safety of the classroom flying everywhere. Marie herself was mostly unfazed although she did sigh as one of the papers flew in her face. She tore it off and looked it over although she only bothered to read the header letting her know it was a report. "What's with all the paper Double D?" She asked. "You playing mailboy or something?"

"Hah. Hah." Double D said humorlessly as he sat up from the ground and rubbed his back. "As a matter of fact, I was taking these reports to the Principal's office in preparation for the festival this weekend." He held out his hand and Marie grabbed it and pulled him up without even realizing it. Once he cracked his back into place, Double D bent down and started gathering the papers on the floor and once again before actually realizing what she was doing, Marie bent down to help him. "The principal wants to make sure all financial records are in order so that every cent earned from the festival can be taken into account." Double D continued to explain as they were gathering the last of the papers.

"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah." Marie muttered, not really paying attention as she handed the final paper over to Double D who took it in earnest. "Thank you Marie." He said as he fixed the paper with its brethren. There! Nice and tidy!" He and Marie both picked themselves up as he dusted himself off. "By the way, Marie, I can't help but think you were going to ask something of me before I bumped into you."

"Huh?" Marie took a few seconds to remember the petals. "Oh yeah!" She shoved her hand in Double D's face, showing him the now dried petals stuck to the side. Double D winced at the sudden gesture and couldn't help but feel just the tiniest bit ill upon seeing the petals stuck like that to her hand. "Oh uh, Marie! I-I p-presume you've had another coughing fit?"

Marie looked away in embarrassment. "Just get them off me already!" She growled.

"Very well," Double D reached into his trusty hat and pulled out a scrapper and another plastic baggie. Carefully, he scraped the petals into the baggie, all while super careful not to cause Marie any discomfort. Once all the petals were in the bag, Double D closed it and brought it up to the hall light for a better look. "Why, Marie! I do believe these petals belong to the common parsley plant. Its used in quite a few dishes around the world!"

"Whoopie-Doo." Marie deadpanned. "Say, Double D, not to rush you or anything but have you come up with any ideas for why I'm...you know...coughing up flowers?"

Double D's smile faded as he shook his head. "I'm afraid I have yet to find even the slightest connection between the different species of petals you've coughed up. So far, this condition of yours seems to defy all known laws of science, Marie."

"That's pretty comforting," Marie said sarcastically.

"If you don't mind, could you tell what you were doing when you uh, expelled this parsley?" Double D asked.

"Ew! That makes it sound worse than just coughing it up!" Marie shouted.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Marie sighed and dragged her hand over her face. "Anyway, I was working on a haunted house for the stupid festival with my sisters." She said.

"Oh!" Double D suddenly brightened up. "A haunted house? In this school festival? My my, the school surely seems to be going after every target audience."

"What about you?" Marie asked. "What lame-o stand are they making you do?"

Double D seemed to take some offence to Marie's suggestion which caught her by surprise. "Excuse you! But book stands are not boring! Especially not with the books I plan to add to the inventory!"

Marie couldn't help but giggle. "A book stand? Are you for real?" She had to cover her mouth to keep her laughter from thundering out through the hallways.

Double D, his face burning a bit, scoffed. "Well I have you know my books provide just as much entertainment as any bounce house or bad facial paint job!"

The fact that Double D was getting heated up about the whole situation made it all the funnier for Marie who threw herself on the floor in laughter. Double D opened his mouth to say more, realized that he wasn't going to win this argument, mostly because there was barely any arguing to be had, and conceded with a sigh. "In any case, I do have reports to hand over to the principal if you don't mind." With this, Double D walked around Marie.

"H-Hey!" Marie snickered as she picked herself up. "Wait for me!" She rushed after Double D, only slowing down once she was next to him. "We still got time before next period. Let's walk together!"

Double D shot Marie a sideways glance. "You're just looking for an excuse to shrink your festival duties aren't you?"

"Maybe." Marie answered unapologetically.

Once again," Double D sighed. "Very well. I suppose I could use the company." And so he and Marie made their way toward the principal's office together. It was only once they entered the hallway where it lay at the end that Marie spoke. "By the way, did they make you audition for that stupid play yet?"

Double D froze in place, a single foot raised above the ground. Marie was quick to take notice of this and, after examining Double D closely, flicked him in the head a few times to get him to wake up. "Double D? Are you alright?"

"H-Huh!" Double D finally sprang back into the waking world. "Oh uh! I-I'm fine! I-" He cleared his throat. "I-I did. My class was one of the last ones to go."

"Well," Marie asked. "Did you get any parts?"

"Oh uh...jus...Just a minor role. Hardly worth mentioning really." Double D rubbed the back of his head nervously, sweat practically raining down his skin. "W-What about you?"

"Me?" Marie asked. "Nah! Stupid staff didn't think I was "Lady-like" enough for Juliet." She blew a raspberry. "Whatever! Plays are for suckers!"

"On the contrary," Double D began. "Plays are an integral part of history and culture, the very groundwork for many of the entertainment we enjoy in the modern day. Further more-

"Okay, okay! I retract my statement." Marie said. "Plays are for suckers and for nerdy dreamboats. Happy?"

Double D gulped. It had been a long while since Marie had called him a dreamboat and the last time she had done so, if memory served him right, he ended up tied to a real boat along with his friends and set adrift. "Y-Yes, I guess that is um...better."

Marie laughed again. "You're really cute when your flustered." She intended to say more but as she opened her mouth, she felt the unwelcome sensation of her throat being filled with petals continue. "Uh oh!"

"Marie?" Double D asked. "What's wrong?"

"I-It's nothing" Marie tried to say as her mouth filled with petals. "Oh crap!" She looked around to make sure no one else was watching and coughed out another yellow dust cloud of petals. Some of them got into Double D's nose and mouth and he started coughing alongside Marie. The two continued to cough for a solid minute before finally being allowed to breathe again. Double d noticed the petals around Marie's shoes and pulled a vacuum cleaner from his hat to suck them up. Marie slightly jumped at the sound of the vacuum starting up and, upon seeing what it was and what Double D was trying to do, sheepishly scooted away to let him clean unimpeded. Once all the petals were gone, Double D turned off the vacuum cleaner and placed it back inside his hat.

"You...sure get a lot of milage out of that hat." Marie said.

"It does come in handy from time to time." Double D agreed as he placed a hand on Marie's shoulder. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I-I'm fine," Marie found that, for some reason, she couldn't stare Double D directly in the eye and so moved away from his hand. "Man, this sickness really sucks."

"I promise I'll fine out what's going on," Double D said. "There just has to be some sort of rational explanation." He moved closer and patted her on the back. "Don't fret. Marie. We'll get to the bottom of this somehow!"

Marie forced herself to look back to Double D. There was a certain...sincerity to his words that, even if she remained doubtful of his ability to actually discover what was wrong with her, he was certain to try his hardest to find out. And that sincerity seemed to be enough to comfort Marie, at least enough that she was able to look him in the eye again. "T-Thanks." Was all she could think to say as well as all that was needed.

Double D nodded right as the bell rang. "Oh dear!" He exclaimed. "I better get these reports in and head to my next class stat! Excuse me, Marie." Double D rushed ahead of Marie toward the principal's office as the hallways filled with students. Marie watched him as he vanished through the office doors. "That Double D is such a nerd!" She thought as she made her way toward her next class. "Yeah. Just stupid cute nerd."

She felt more petals form in her throat but waited until she had reached the bathroom to cough them up.

---

It was the day of the festival and everyone was manning their stations as needed. Double D, like all those who were running stand was given an entire classroom to himself in which to run things. Gone were the chairs and desk that usually covered the class room in a symmetrical matter although they would be back before the weekend was over. In their place were four giant book shelves borrowed from the local library, each stocked with dozens upon dozens of books, all either from the school's library, books they no longer needed or from Double's private collection, books he had chosen to donate. He had spent the better part of four hours, dusting every inch that he could from the shelfs and room and now with that completed, he sat on a small desk near the entrance to the class room to await what he was sure would be a packed stand.

Before long, the hallways flooded with kids and adults alike as they traversed through all the stands. Some offered food. Others offered games. But all of them offered something in exchange for the fixed price of a single dollar. Double D's book stand was no exception and he took pride in knowing that he would be able to pull open the doors of learning for budding young minds all for the measly price of a dollar.

Now if only someone would actually stop by his stand already.

Double D ignored it at first, figuring he would just have to be patient. His book stand was in one of the inner hallways of the school after all. However, that didn't seem to impede Jimmy and Sarah's cake walk stand which was just across the hall from Double D. He could see the people lining up for a chance to win a free cake of which Jimmy's mother had baked plenty. She had also taken the liberty of baking several batches of cookies for the patrons to buy if they weren't able to win a cake so they wouldn't leave empty handed. Double D could smell the sweets from the other room and his mouth watered a bit every time. It was no wonder their stand was doing so well when the goods gave off such a pleasant aroma.

Part of Double D was jealous but this part was usually squashed with the thought that, with as many people coming for the cake walk as there were, surely a few of them would notice his book stand and come in. And so he would fix himself back into place, interlock his fingers and break out the friendliest smile he could. Sadly, it never seemed to take long before his smile faltered and his gaze shifted pitifully toward the line. A few people would turn toward the book stand for a few seconds but only for that long, their eyes never sparking with even the slightest bit of curiosity.

Double D sighed and held his head down, trying to mentally prepare for the likelihood of his entire day ending up like this. "Maybe they were right," He thought. "These people wouldn't no good literature if it-

"Hey Double D!"

Eddward froze. The voice that just spoke to him was one he had heard many times over but his reaction was always the same. Blood vessels rushed to his face. His skin secreted sweat all over. His mouth went dry before he even had a chance to speak. Slowly, he turned toward the hall where the voice came from, his face burning even hotter and his skin producing even more sweat when he saw Nazz Van Fartanscheer standing right outside his book stand. "How's it going?" She asked with a giggle.

"N-Nazz!" Double D stammered, having to use every ounce of will power to not let his voice crack up. "W-W-What a p-pleasant surprise! Wh-What brings you h-here?"

Nazz giggled again. "I just wanted to see how my co-star for tonight is doing."

Double D felt his heart stop upon Nazz mentioned the word "co-star"

"Wh-What? Oh! Yes! The p-play! I had completely forgotten about it!" Double D uttered a terribly nervous chuckle but Nazz, more from excitement than anything else, didn't seem to notice.

"Can you believe it?" She asked "Both of us got the lead roles! This is, like, so going to to do wonders for my acting resume!"

"Yes! I-I'm sure it will." Double D agreed with a quieter but no less fretful chuckle. "Shakespeare is always a great place to start in the world of theatre!"

"Say," Nazz started looking over toward the books Double D had stored on his shelves, her fingers to her chin. "What kind of stand are you running here anyway? A library?"

Double D's girl-related anxiety seemed to vanish as soon as Nazz showed interest in the books. "Oh! Uh! This is actually a book stand! Patrons are encouraged to come in, browse to their heart's content and, if they so wish it, can buy the books that catch their fancy!" He was unable to stop himself from hyping up the books and by the time he had realized what he had just said, all poor Double D could do was smile like an idiot and hope he didn't just kill Nazz's respect for him.

To his surprise, however, Nazz only smiled. "Really?" She walked past Double D and started browsing through the first shelf, her eyes focused as if she were seeking something out in particular. Double D felt the urge to let his jaw drop with hoe naturally the point of his stand came to Nazz but he figured he had fallen into enough silly cartoon cliches for one day and so kept it closed. He watched as she searched through the books for a few minutes, pondering just what kind of book she was looking for. A book on babysitting? Cheerleading? Maybe something to aid in her performance in the play later that evening. Double D cursed his brain for reminding himself of the play.

After a few minutes, Nazz finally came up to Double D with a single book in her hand. After a whole morning of not seeing any business, this was a blessing. She placed the book on his desk and reached into her wallet for a dollar, giving Double D ample time to mentally read the title.

"Top 50 Famous Actresses You Should Aspire to Be Like"

So his final guess was his correct one it would seem.

"I see you're taking you role as Juliet very seriously." Double D said with a slight tremble, careful not to touch the book with his sweaty hands.

"You know it dude!" Nazz said as she pulled out a dollar and placed it on Double D desk before sliding the book into her backpack. "I'll see you later, Romeo!"

Double D's entire face lit up like a stop light. "S-S-See you la-later, Ju- I mean Naz- I mean-

But Nazz was already walking back out into the hall, leaving a stammering, steaming Double D to recompose himself before anyone noticed "Oh my," He whispered to himself. "That was a...interesting experience." He reached underneath his desk and pulled out a bottle water from which he took a swig. He only intended to sip a few drops but in his post-Nazz state of stress, he wound up guzzling half the bottle in one gulp. He had to pry the bottle from his own lips to keep from drinking the whole thing down and yet, his mouth still felt dry. "I certainly wasn't expecting Nazz of all people to show up to my stand." He inhaled and exhaled slowly. "Would have been quite the charming visit too if only not for the grim reminder of my later obligations." Double D took another swig of his bottle, taking solace in the fact that, as awkward as that encounter had been, at least it was over. Slowly, he turned toward the hallway...

"Hey Double D!" Marie greeted loudly.

Double D ended up spitting out all the water in his mouth over Marie's head and shoulders. What little water remained in his mouth quickly slid down the wrong pipeline into his lungs and Double D erupted into a grotesque coughing fit. Marie, meanwhile, stood in the hallway like a statue, her blue hair dripping onto the tiles below as it hung over both her eyes. Jimmy and Sarah, who both happened to be watching from their room, started to laugh with Ed's baby sister even pointing at the wet Kanker. This mockery was cut short by Marie turning to them with a bloodshot glare and a darkened face, reminding both children of a certain movie involving wells and video tapes. They both turned away and continued to focus on counting their remaining cakes as Marie slowly crocked her head back toward Double D who at this point in time, had finally stopped coughing.

"Double D...what the heck?" She asked.

"I...I'm sorry, Marie!" Double D said with a still strained voice. "You startled me quite a bit appearing in the hall like that."

"Whatever!" Marie grabbed her hair and wringed the water out of it, along with a small goldfish. Just where that goldfish came from, neither Double D nor Maire knew nor cared to know and as the fish flailed down the hallway, Marie walked up to Double D's desk. "I just wanted to see how your stand is coming along."

"Well, I'll have you know that things have been rather busy here at my book stand." Double D said in a somewhat defensive voice, crossing his arms as he spoke.

"Yeah!" Marie giggled with one hand over her mouth and the other pointing toward the copious amounts of books still lingering in the shelves. "Looks like your books have been totally flying off the shelves!"

Double D, his face slightly red, could only glare unamused at Marie. "Please don't patronize me." He said.

His scornful look was disabled as Marie unexpectedly patted him on the head. "You're so cute when you're angry." She chuckled. "Tell you what, I'll buy something just to help you out. How's that sound?"

"Charming," Double D croaked.

Marie just chuckled again and started browsing through the books. "Books may be boring but there's gotta be something here that almost passes for interesting."

Double D watched with keen interest as Marie scoured through the books. "How amusing. It's almost like I'm experiencing a strange sense of Deja Vu. First Nazz comes in and buys a book after a regrettably quiet day and now Marie!" Double D couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm sure there's a German word for this exact situation...somewhere.

"Come on, come on." Marie muttered to herself as she looked through the books. She grabbed one with a purple cover and a small picture of the Milky Way galaxy and read the cover. "Miracles of the Outer Cosmos? Please!" She tossed that book away.

Double D nearly had a heart attack as the book landed on its midsection on the floor. "Sweet Plutonian Shore!" Double D rushed to the aid of the fallen book, cooing to it like a mother would her child as he dusted it off, closed it, and slid it back into its place among his shelves. "Marie! You must take better care of the books! You may no-MARIE!"

Marie paid Double D no mind as she reached for another book, several more already around her feet. "The Wonders of Hidden Africa? No way!" She tossed that aside for another. "The Amazing World of Mathematics and Calculus!? You're kidding right?" Another tossed book. "Nuts and Bolts? Great, now we're doing callbacks?" She grunted as she tossed the book aside, all while Double D frantically picked up the books, checked them for lasting damage and placed them back in the shelves. He was panicked in this stage that he failed to notice the stray bookmark that had fallen out from one of the books. "Marie, will you please treat the books with a little more respect?"

"The Art of The Human Body," Marie snickered at the picture of Michelangelo's Statue of David on the front cover. "Now this might be interesting!"

"Marie, please don't treat that art book like one of Eddy's vulgar magazines!" Double D rushed to stop her, only to trip on the bookmark and land on his back. He laid there, twitching and seeing stars as Marie continued to search for more statues to ogle. Alas, there were hardly any artworks like David depicted in the book and Marie lost interest real quickly. With a sigh, she threw it behind her right as Double D was finally getting up. It hit him square in the head and he fell back.

"Man, this sucks!" Marie sighed. "Isn't there anything in here worthwhile..." She finished her sentence with a gasp as her eyes fell upon a single book at the end of the shelves. One that was practically calling to her. "No way!" She beamed. "I found it!"

Double D groaned as he slowly got to his feet, ribbing his head and ignoring the stars dancing around his head. "Ohhh...uhhh...W-What did you find...Marie?" Double D asked.

"Eureka!" Marie shouted as she pulled the book out from the shelf and accidently smacked it into Double D's face, knocking the poor boy down for a third time. "I found the perfect book!"

"If...I..." Double D groaned as he got back up once more, every bone in his body creaking. Once he was back on his feet, he shook his head and grabbed the book from Marie. 101 Uses for a Tire Iron read the title and below that, a picture of a lone tire iron leaning against a rusted gate. Double D couldn't help but chuckle. As with Nazz, he might have known something like this would have tickled Marie's fancy. "Very well. Let's ring her up!"

Double D and Marie made their way to front desk where the latter fished a dollar out of her pocket. It was sticky, smelly and covered with lint comprised of substances Double D couldn't even begin to fantom. (Nor did he want to try) Regardless, he took a pair of pliers from his hat and used them to drop the dollar into the collection jar. Marie's eyes seemed to shimmer when he handed her the book which, of course, made Double D smile. He always felt good when he saw others discover an appreciation for literature, even if it was for something as concerning as using a tire iron outside its intended purpose.

"Thanks, Double D!" Marie beamed as she held the book. "This is sure to spice up the weekends!"

"I'm sure it will." Double D agreed somewhat wearily. "I'm sure it will."

"Well," Marie sighed as she held the book under her arm. "I better sneak back to my stand before they realize I'm gone!"

"Excuse me?" Double D's eyes widened. "What do you mean sneak back? Aren't you on break?"

"Psst, no!" Marie laughed. "Things were getting boring over there so I thought I'd come and bug you for a little bit!"

"Marie!" Double D exclaimed. "You can't just leave your post because business is slow! Who knows what could happen in your absence!"

Marie scoffed. "Calm down, Double D! The only people actually getting scared in that stupid haunted house are little babies. Honestly, it's a bust!"

"Even so, you still have an obligation to the school to oversee its affairs." Double D scolded. "Please, you must return to it at once!"

"Alright, alright!" Marie hissed. "I'll go back to the stupid haunted house...Mom!" With a dark snicker, she left the room, leaving Double D groaning to himself. "Well those were certainly a eventful last couple of minutes," Double D rubbed his head and decided it would be a good idea to go out into the hall for a bit of fresh air. As soon as he took his first step, however, he noticed a crinkling sound from beneath his shoe and looked down to see the bookmark that had tripped him up before. "Oh for Pete's sake!" He ripped the bookmark out from under the shoe and examined it. It was a plain white bookmark with three flowers near the bottom, all with pink petals and green stems. Double D took a moment to remember which book this bookmark belonged to before it hit him. He made his way back to the shelves and upon finding the book he was searching for, pulled it out.

It's cover was as white as the bookmark but the bottom half of the top cover was filled with different kinds of flowers. Above the colorful array of flowers was the title, written in the most romantic front anyone could come up with.

In Bloom: Myths and Legends Concerning Flowers

"Huh?" Double D said to himself as he looked the book over. "That's strange. I don't remember this book all too well and yet I was able to connect the bookmark to it." He scratched his head as he pondered the situation. "Oh well, I suppose it was just a lucky guess." With that, Double D opened the book and placed the bookmark within its pages before sliding the whole thing back into the shelf. Had he bothered to look for just a seconds instead of humming another work of Bach and making his way back to the front desk, he would have noticed the illustration of a young woman coughing up flower petals on the page he placed the bookmark in.

---

Marie sighed as she watched another parent pull her crying toddler out from the entrance of the haunted house. She was willing to bet anything they didn't even make it to the halfway point. Beneath her arm rested the book she had bought from Double D, open and already halfway through.

"There, there." The mother said as her toddler continued to cry. She turned to Marie rather sharply and stomped toward her. "Do you think this is a game? You scared my little Davy to near death."

"It's a haunted house, lady!" Marie replied dryly. "It's supposed to be scary. Besides, your stupid kid was the one begging to go inside in the first place so I don't understand how its my fault he can't-

The woman proceeded to deck Marie in the face, knocking her to the floor. With an angry scowl, the woman took her child by the arm and pulled him away, stepping on Marie in the process.

"H-Hey!" Marie groaned as she peeled herself off the floor. "Y-You still have to pay for that...ugh!" She fell back down. "Stupid haunted house!" She closed her eyes and sighed.

"You certainly seem to be running your stand well."

Marie's one exposed eye opened as she felt a shadow fall over her. To her annoyance and embarrassment, Double D was looming over her. There was no judgement in his eyes but Marie knew what he meant by his comment and while part of her was impressed that Double D of all people could be snarky, she hated that said snarkiness had to be focused on her.

"Ha Ha!" She muttered. "Very funny." She held her hand toward Double D. "Help me up."

Double D grabbed her hand and pulled her back to her feet, a feat that would have proven quite difficult a month of so ago before his intense training. Marie dusted herself off once she was back to her feet. "Thanks,"

"I take it things aren't going so smoothly?" Double D asked.

"How could you tell?" Marie asked sarcastically as she sat back at the booth outside the room. "Anytime someone actually does try to come through this dump, they either complain it isn't scary enough and try to bail out of paying or they bring some little kids who are too scared to go inside and try to bail out of paying!" Marie picked up her collection jar which contained a measly three dollars. "This whole thing is stupid!"

"Now Marie, I know it can be tedious running a operation that doesn't seem to go anywhere. Believe me, I'm quite acquainted with the feeling, even before today. But surely it can't be that bad of a haunted house!"

"Oh yeah!? Then why don't you go in and see for yourself?" She challenged with her thumb pointed toward the door.

"Perhaps I will," Double D handed Marie a dollar from his pocket, (His mother had recently given him his weekly allowance) and walked inside. Right away, he bumped into a table hidden in the darkness of the room. Instinctively, he reached for a light switch, only to find that the whole thing had been covered in generous amounts of duct tape. He waited a few seconds for his eyes to somewhat adjust to the darkness and realized that the desk in the classroom had been arranged into a maze of some sort. Carefully, Double D made his way through the maze, his hands held out before him.

As he was making his first turn, he felt something smack into his face. It tickled his nose and he had to turn and sneeze. Once that was finished, he saw that what he had bumped into was a plastic spider hanging from a single strand of fake webbing. He poked it once, resulting in it falling away from the web and onto his feet. He chuckled nervously before whistling loudly and kicking the fake spider underneath one of the desk before continuing forward, his hands behind his back. As he continued through the path, he noticed Jack-O-Lanterns of varying quality sitting on some of the desk and with their faint light, he could make out a few ghost stuck to the wall behind the desk. Most of them looked rather silly than scary with one of them having more of a giant blur on it rather than a face. It was as if someone had dumped water all over it. Double D shook his head in amusement as he prepared to turn another corner, only to bump face-first into something yet again. His nose was tickled but this time he was able to stifle the sneeze before it came out. Whatever he hit had uttered a tiny squeak and as Double D finished rubbing his nose, he realized it was a toy bat tied to a string. Learning his lesson from the spider, Double D scooted around the bat and continued forward.

As he neared the final turn, he noticed a skeleton hanging on the wall, its arm pointing back toward the entrance as if it were an exit. It quickly became apparent to Double D that the skeleton belonged to the science class next door and he could only hope Marie had simply borrowed it. As he neared it, he was startled by a electronic laughing sound coming from the skeleton, only for the device responsible to start malfunctioning which resulted in the laughter slowing down and getting deeper and deeper. Double D sighed and left for the exit, his eyes nearly blinded as he stepped back into the hallway.

"Pretty lame, right" Marie asked.

"GAAAAAAHHHHH!" Double D practically jumped out of his skin before realizing it was Marie speaking. "Oh! Hi Marie!"

"Huh. I guess that stupid maze can scare people after all." Marie mused.

"Don't delude yourself," Double D retorted. "I was merely surprised is all." He sighed as he stretched. "Well, I better be getting back to the book stand."

"Heh. Look at you, ditching your stand to come see me." Marie giggled. "I'm rubbing off on ya, Double D!"

Double D scoffed. "Once again, please don't delude yourself, Marie. I had Jimmy look after my book stand while I went to see how your affairs were doing. I really should relieve him now." Double D turned to walk back toward the book stand, only for Marie to grab him by the shoulder and pull him to her side.

"Hold on!" She shouted. "You're saying you left someone else in charge of your stand?" She smiled sinisterly. "Do you know what this means?"

"That Sarah's cake walk is running at half capacity?" Double D asked in a uncertain tone.

"No! It means you and I can check out the other stands!" Marie beamed. "It'll be like a date!" Just then, Marie felt more petals in her throat and held her hand to her mouth while Double D slipped out of her grasp.

"As tempting as that sounds, I do need to return to my post," Double D uneasily replied. "Besides, you don't have anyone to watch over your stand!"

Marie swallowed in an attempt to keep the petals inside and hand waved Double D. "T-That's no problem!" Marie reached behind the booth and propped up a familiar piece of wood. "Plank said he'll cover for me!"

"Where did you get-" Double D slapped his hand against his forehead and shook his head. As he brought it down, he dragged most of his face down with it before it finally fixed itself in place. "Marie..."

"Come on, Double D!" Marie whined. "I really need the break! Besides, you can't tell me you aren't just the least bit curious about what the other kids got going on." Marie hacked upon finishing her sentence and held up her finger. "Hold that thought!" She rushed to the nearby bathroom, no doubt to ensure she left no trace of the foreign foliage in her throat.

Double D rubbed his chin. "I suppose it would be nice to visit Ed and Eddy in their stands. Besides, I'm sure Jimmy is running things nicely in my absence."

---

Jimmy and Sarah giggled as they scribbled through the latest batch of books they had pilfered from the shelves. There was no rhyme or reason to the coloring, just mindless scribbling through giant words they couldn't even try to read and pictures of historical figures they found to be ugly.

"Wait a minute," Jimmy said right as he finished putting a dress on an illustration of Isaac Newton. "What am I supposed to tell Double D when he gets back?"

"Who cares?" Sarah giggled as she continued to black out the top half of Benjamin Franklin, making it appear as if he had been cooked by the lighting he was studying. Her giggling was enough to put Jimmy at ease and they continued with the defacement of the books.

---

Marie came out of the bathroom, wiping the last of the petals off her mouth. "Blech!" She shouted. "Those things are really starting to annoy me." Her face seemed to brightened up a bit once she saw Double D. "So what do you say, cutie?" Wanna ditch the stands and check out the rest of the festival?"

"A-Alright," Double D said. "But only so I can check in with my friends. After that, I fully intend to-

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Marie moved her hand as if to mimic Double D's mouth moving before pressing his lips closed. "Let's just go!" Marie dragged the unwilling Double D with her out of the hallway, leaving Plank by himself at the booth.

But the hunk of wood wouldn't be that way for long.

"Plank?" Jonny walked up from behind. "I've been looking everywhere for you! Where have you been, you rascal!?"

Plank "replied" to Jonny.

"Huh?" Jonny scratched his head in confusion. "What do you mean that blue-haired Kanker chick blackmailed you into taking her place?"

Plank "replied" again.

"What do you mean I really need to stop repeating everything you say back to you?" Jonny sighed and glanced over to the darkened room that made up the haunted house. "Oh well, since I'm already here," Jonny reached into his pocket and pulled out a dollar which he slapped down on the table. "I might as well get scared silly!" He wandered into the room and for the next several minutes, the hallway outside was filled with his frightened screams.

---

"Mr, Are you almost done?" The little girl asked. "My face itches."

"Tsk tsk!" Ed wagged his finger. "One must not rush perfection." Right as he said this, he got distracted by his finger which still seemed to move up and down of its own accord. "Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tock."

"Uh...Mr?"

"Huh?...Oh yeah!" Ed went back to painting the finishing touches of his "perfection" onto the girl's face. Once he was done, he reached for a hand mirror while complimenting the girl's looks. "Ah! It is so cute! You look just like the mutant bunny from Easter Island Toxic Dump VIII: The Beginning!" He held the mirror up for the girl to see as he said this. The poor thing took one look at the horrifying mess of white and red on her own and ran off screaming as Ed absent-mindedly waved goodbye. "Ta ta! See you later!" The lovable oaf turned to see two familiar faces approaching his booth. "Double D! Marie!"

"Hello Ed," Double D greeted warmly albeit with a bit of concern in his voice due to seeing the little girl running away. "I trust that your face painting stand is going well?"

"Oh yeah!" Ed beamed. "I've painted so many faces today!" Ed started jumping up and down. "Oh! Oh! Let me paint your face's next, guys!"

Marie chuckled as she shook her head and held her hands up. "No thanks, big guy!"

"It's nice of you to offer Ed, but we simply wanted to check on you." Double D was already sweating at the prospect of Ed rubbing potentially dangerous chemicals all over his face. However, his heart wavered as Ed began to tear up.

"Oh please Double D!" Ed begged. "I'll do a real good job, honest!" His lips quivered and the sight was enough to invoke the tiniest bit of pity in Marie. "Please?"

Double D and Marie looked at each other as if expecting the other to have some sort of solution. But alas, neither one did and so with no other choice, they both sighed and accepted their fates. "Very well, Ed." Double D relented. "I suppose a little paint couldn't hurt."

Ed immediately brightened up and started jumping up and down again. "Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!" Before either Double D or Marie could react, Ed grabbed them by their shirts and sat them on the same stool that the little girl was just sitting on not too long ago. He busted out a toolbox that, as he opened it, splashed a bunch of liquid colors on him, causing him to laugh. Double D winced as he realized Ed was holding all the melted, goopy paint where tools should be and nearly had a heart attack as his unkempt friend dashed his brush into the rainbow mess.

"Now do you see where niceness gets you?" Marie asked darkly.

"Not now Marie. I'm trying to go to my happy place." Double D whispered back frantically.

The ordeal lasted less than a minute and at some points, it really felt like Ed was actually doing a decent job, at least with the care he put around the eyes and mouth. Of course, the paint was still wet and a few drops fell onto their clothes as Ed continued to work. Part of Marie regretted asking Double D to ditch with her and wondered if he was going to hit her with a "I Told You So." once this ordeal had passed. Eventually, it did end and Ed topped the whole thing off with a spin of the chair, sending Double D and Marie flying off into the hall. They both hit the wall and slid down together. As they peeled themselves off of the floor, groaning and moaning, Ed skipped happily to the duo holding his hand mirror.

"Behold! You're new yous!" Ed shoved the mirror into both Double D and Marie's faces. They both had what looked to be clown makeup but given a darker twist. Double D's eyes were surrounded by two black circles and a fierce-looking jagged line zig-zagging across his lips. Marie had black hearts on her eyes instead and several small lines running through her mouth as if it was stitched shut. The rest of their faces were pale white. The mirror cracked once they took in their reflections.

"Oh my," Double D gulped. "This is-

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO US YOU MORON!?" Marie screeched as she leapt toward Ed. The lovable oaf giggled as Marie tackled him to the ground. Even as she started bashing his head against the floor by pulling on his collar, he continued to laugh. "Answer me or I'll pound you!"

"You and Double D are the evil mimes from Attack of the Killer Mimes from Underground France!"

"The what from what?" Marie asked.

"I believe what Ed's trying to say is that he's painted us like the monsters from one of his many B-movies," Double D sighed which the bridge of his nose pinched firmly between his thumb and index finger. "Ed, please tell me you haven't been repeating this process for the patrons of this festival all day, have you?"

"Uhhh..." Ed pondered long and hard as to what Double D had just asked. Before he could throw in "Gravy" as a possible answer, he heard a voice calling from his stand and he, along with Double D and Marie turned to see a young boy waving his hand frantically.

"Hey Mr!" He shouted. "It's my turn!"

"Be right with you!" Ed grabbed Double D and Marie by the legs and as he got back up, they were left hanging upside down in his grasp. "Sorry guys but duty calls!"

"But Ed!" Double D whined. "Our faces!"

"If you have a complaint, please refer it to the following number!" Ed paused, a dumb smile plastered on his face and Marie and Double D waited for him to continue speaking. However, it seemed that he was quite finished with what he said after all as he proceeded to chuck them down the hall while shouting in his best Eddy voice. "Now get lost, ya deadbeats!" He watched as Double D and Marie tumbled down the hall like rapid tumbleweeds and turned the corner. Once they were out of sight, he made his way the young boy waiting by the room. "Next, please!" He shouted.

"Oh boy! Oh boy!" The boy happily jumped into the chair. "I want you to make me into a robot!"

"Oh! Oh!" Ed shouted. "I know! You will be Zargoid! Death Dealer of the Universe!"

"Cool!" The boy exclaimed, despite having no idea who Zargoid was.

---

"It would seem Ed's been taking after Eddy when it comes to affairs of commence and business." Double D said as he and Marie walked down the hall. "Which is ironic considering he didn't even charge us for the face paint."

"Ugh! That stupid lughead!" Marie groaned as she pinched at her face. "We need to get this stupid paint off before someone sees us!"

"On that I concur," Double D agreed. "If I remember the inner workings of the school and I most certainly do, the next restrooms should be just up at the end of the hallway. We can wash up and leave this incident behind us."

"Sounds good!" Marie muttered, still pinching at her face paint. She pulled on her cheek a little and winced as she snapped it back. "Not even chipping off," She muttered as she looked around the hallway. "Say, not that anyone not being around to see us dressed like Juggalo rejects is a bad thing but should this hall be this...empty?"

"Hmmm. It is rather strange," Double D once again agreed. "If memory serves me correctly and once again it should, this should be where the-

At that very moment, a pair and hand grabbed Double D and Marie by the throat and pulled them into the blackness of a nearby room. The odd couple were seated on a pair of blue chairs in the middle of the darkened room and had the only light flashed in their eyes. The person behind the light seemed to be getting ready to do something, only to stop as they recognized the people they had just placed in the chair. "Double D? Marie?"

"...May?" Marie asked as she wiped her eyes and stared out into the darkness. Sure enough, it was her bucktoothed sister that was operating the light that blinded her, a light that just so happened to belong the a giant camera. She flipped the light switch on, once again blinding her sister and her crush. "I thought those voices I heard in the hallway sounded familiar!"

"Oh. Hello May," Double D said in a semi-delirious state. "I see you've been chosen to operate the photobooth."

"That's right!" May chirped. "I've been taking pictures all day and lucky for you, I happen to have a sale on couple's pictures! Now hold still and say "Peas!"

"Couple!?" Double D and Marie asked in unison with the former following with a quiet and very concerned "Peas?"

"Hold on!" Marie shouted as she remembered all too well the current situation concerning her and Double D's faces. "May, I swear if you take that picture-

*FLASH*

Double D and Marie were blinded for a third time, dazed to the point where they fell to the floor, stars and dots popping in and out of their vision. May happily hummed as she set about extracting the picture from the camera, taking it into the dark room in the back. (This happened to be the photography room.) and came back just as Double D and Marie were getting back up. May nearly knocked them back down by shoving the two copies of the picture she took in their faces.

It depicted their painted faces in a state of frozen panic and confusion. It looked as if it had been ripped directly from a nightmare.

"That'll be two quarters please!" May beamed.

Clenching her teeth, Marie grabbed her blonde sister by the throat and held her up. "Oh I'll give you more than two quarters!" She growled as she made a fist. "I'll quarter your whole body!"

"Wait!" Double D stepped in the way at the last second to try and shield May from her sister's wrath and was sent headfirst into the wall for his troubles. It took a hot second for both girls to realize what had happened, after which, they pulled him out of the wall. He was once again seeing stars as he slowly began to speak.

"I...think...we...should...buy...the...pictures..."

"What?" Marie asked.

Double D shook his head. "I said, we should by the pictures." He turned to Marie, "And I'll take the negatives as well."

"But Double D!" May said. "That's cost three whole dollars!"

Double reached into his pocket and pulled out 3 one-dollar bills. "Please May!"

"O...Ok," May said as she took the money. "You can have the negatives, you rascal you!" She practically leaped toward the dark room as Marie pulled Double D back. "What the heck, Double D?" She asked. "We both saw those pictures? Why would you want to pay perfectly good money for those!?"

"For one thing, I believe every cent spent on this school is worth it, regardless of the reason." Double D whispered. "And second, this it the best way to guarantee that nobody else ever sees these pictures!"

Marie's eyes widened with understanding, her mouth curving into a smile. "Oh...I see! We take all the pictures, get this stupid paint off and burn them afterward!"

"Affirmative," Double D confirmed. "So until then, just act natural!" Double D fixed himself back into place just as May came back with the negatives. "Here you go, you love birds! Nice faces by the way!" She giggled.

"You better shut up or I'll give you a new face!" Marie threatened under her breath as Double D took the pictures and placed them in his hat.

"Thank you, May! Now if you'll excuse us, we must be on our way. Ta-ta for now!" Double D grabbed the still-fuming Marie's arm and dragged her out of the room with him as May waved good-bye.

"Aww!" May sighed as she watched them vanish out into the halls. "Young love!"

---

"Well that was a bust!" Marie grumbled as she and Double D wandered through the halls, Ed's horrifying paint-job still splattered on their faces. "Can you believe the line for the stinking bathrooms?"

"A unfortunate reality of public festivals, I'm afraid." Double D sighed. "We have no choice. We'll have to look elsewhere for a chance to wash this paint off."

"Dammit!" Marie growled. The last thing she wanted was for more people to see her face messed up the way it was. The fact that she had a new batch of petals settling in her chest did nothing to help the situation. "Where's the nearest bathroom again?"

"Aside from the one that I predict will be busy for a few hours in the least," Double D said. "The next nearest one should be three hallways down."

"Wonderful," Marie replied sarcastically. It was at that moment that she happened to be shifting her eye to the left and saw inside one of the classroom booths. Inside the room was Rolf, his head comically sticking inside of a barrel of what appeared to be apples. Rolf pulled his head out of the barrel, three giant apples in his mouth and his face dripping with-

"Water!" Marie spoke excitedly.

"Water?" Double D asked as he scanned the hallway for a water fountain or even a discarded water bottle. "Where?"

"This way, Double D!" Marie grabbed Double D's arm and whisked him off his feet with a surprised yelp. She rushed into the room and stopped in front of Rolf who happened to have his face buried in the barrel again. As she stopped, Double D's noodle-like body slammed against hers and he ended up seeing stars again. "Hey...uh...Rolf, is it? What's you got there?"

Rolf apparently was able to hear underwater because he pulled his head out, two more apples and a whole watermelon in his mouth. He made a noise that sounded like he was trying to talk, realized the fruit was in the way and spat it out. "Salutations, Know-It-All-Edboy and She-whose-hair-is-the-same-color-as-Papa's-back-hair!"

"W...What?" Marie asked, trying her best to keep the mental image out of her head.

"My my, Rolf." Double D said as he recovered from his dizzy spell. "You seem to be handling the apple bobbing stand quite well."

"Oh yeah!" Rolf agreed as he grabbed one of the apples he had pulled out of the barrel and popped it in his mouth, crunching the whole thing, core and stem included, as if it were a small berry. "The patrons of this crazy go-go festival have been paying a pretty penny for a chance to dunk their heads into Rolf's barrel of mystery." He said those last three words with a eerie tone but Marie was unimpressed.

"Barrel of Mystery? Isn't it just full of apples?"

"There are many apples in the barrel yes, picked straight from Rolf's orchard," The Son of a Shepard proudly declared. "But, there are also all matter of other food items from my home country. Yes!" Rolf gestured the couple to come closer as he gripped both sides of the barrel, their reflections shaking on the surface of the water inside. "You may get an apple, you may get a carrot or you may get a face full of Artic Pygmy Squid. There is no way to tell until you try."

"Oh my," Double D gulped as he leaned closer to Marie. "Rolf certainly has gone...creative with his stand."

"Who cares?" Marie walked around next to Rolf and handed him a dollar bill. "As long as it gets this stupid paint job off of us." Marie took a deep breath and dunked her head into the water, the resulting splash hitting both Double D and Rolf. The Son of a Shepard didn't react in the least, smiling and humming as he waited for Marie to resurface while Double D wringed the bottom of his shirt dry with a annoyed groan. After a few seconds, the water in the barrel started to darken and Marie lifted her head back up. The last remnants of Ed's paint job dripped from her pale chin and in her mouth was a green fruit that looked to be the on the verge of rotting. She moved her wet hair from his eyes which bulged once she saw the fruit in her mouth. She turned to the side and spit it out. "Eww! Crapapple!"

Double D couldn't help but snicker a little as he walked around the barrel and handed Rolf a dollar bill. "I suppose it's my turn now."

"All yours," Marie groaned as she continued to scrap at her tongue while making room for Double D. The smartest Ed cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and dunked his head into the water gently, hardly a single drop being sent out of the barrel. Marie and Rolf watched with interest, with the former noting the water growing even darker than before. Marie breathed a sigh of relief as it meant that Double D had lost his bad paint job as well. Just then, however, Double D's body began to trash wildly about, as if he was struggling with something. Quickly, both Rolf and Marie grabbed his body and pulled him back up. In his mouth, snapping its pinchers with its legs moving all around was a Red King Crab.

"Gahhh! Gahhhh!" Double D tried to speak but as his teeth were buried in the crab's outer shell, he couldn't get his words out. Marie and Rolf both grabbed one of the crab's front legs and yanked it out of Double D's mouth, leaving a piece of its shell in his teeth. They tossed the crab across the room where it hit the wall, slid down, and crawled out into the hallway, its pincher's clacking.

"Double D Ed-boy!" Rolf said as he lifted the limp Double D up. "Speak to us!"

"Are you alright, Double D?" Marie asked., unaware of the genuine concern in her voice.

"Geeehha?" Double D tried to speak again, only to notice the piece of crab shell stuck to his teeth. He gripped it and after a few seconds of struggling, managed to yank it out. "Yooucch!" He cried as he tossed the shell away. "Well, that's another entry for my journal of ordeals I'd rather have not gone through.

"Heh!" Marie smiled as she saw Double D was alright. Unfortunately, this also brought with it the unwelcome sensation of the petals in her throat. She covered her mouth to keep from coughing them up in front of Rolf who almost immediately took notice of Marie's actions.

"Kanker-girl? Why are you holding your mouth like Papa when Viktor had to have corrective surgery on his hindquarters?"

Marie frantically looked around for anything to distract Rolf from her ailment and finally settled for pointing at something nonexistent at the corner of the room. As soon as Rolf's back was turned, Marie ducked back toward the barrel and expelled the petals there. It was a quick coughing fit and not that many petals left her system but she couldn't help but wince as she saw them floating on the water. She looked up to see Rolf still staring at the corner of the room and saw her chance. She rushed up to Double D and grabbed his arm.

"Marie, what are you doing?" He asked.

"Shhh! Let's bounce!" Marie hissed as she rushed out of the room with Double D in tow, once again forcing the young man to utter a helpless yelp. It was this yelp that finally snapped Rolf out of his stupor and made him turn around. "Egghead Ed-boy? Raggedy Kanker-girl?" The Son of a Shepard looked around for his two newest customers but could find no sign of them. "They must have fled like the animals when Rolf's Mama sings songs of the old country." Rolf shrugged and went back to the barrel. He was quick to notice the darkened water and the small yellow specks floating on the surface. "Son of a gun!" He uttered. "Those two good-for-nothings have contaminated Rolf's mystery barrel!" He dunked his head in the water in order to explore the extent of the damage. A few seconds later, he popped his head back out with a Artic Pygmy Squid wrapped around it. Rolf's muffled screams reverberated throughout the squid's squishy flesh and he grabbed two of its tentacles in a unsuccessful effort to pull it off.

All he managed to do was knock himself to the floor.

---

"Ugh!" Marie complained. "I can still taste that stupid crapapple in my mouth!" Marie stuck out her tongue as she said this as if hoping the exposure to fresh air would somehow alleviate the taste still on her tongue.

"Look on the bright side, Marie." Double D said. "At least we got the face paint off."

Marie glared at Double D as she rolled her tongue back into her mouth. "Yeah. I guess you're right." She smirked. "It was kinda funny though, me getting a crabapple and you getting a crab.

"The irony is not lost on me. Of that I can assure you." Double D grumbled. He uttered a small sigh as they turned the corner. "We still have a ways away before he make it to our stands so why not take the scenic route?" He gestured to the many classrooms filled to the brim with people enjoying whatever merriment they happened to be offering.

"Double D," Marie cooed. "Are you willingly ditching your duties to spend time with me?" She fluttered her single exposed eye.

"I'm just not acting in as much a hurry as I ought," Double D corrected. "That is all."

"Aww! Bending the rules just for me," Marie ignored him. "That deserves a kiss!" For the first time in a long time, she puckered her lips and leaned her face closer to Double D, who backed away with his hands raised.

"Marie! Please!" He whispered. "People are watching!"

Marie continued to press forward with the kiss, feeling like her old self again...at least until a horrible tickling sensation in her throat reminded her of why she hadn't felt that way in a long time. She uttered a few dry coughs and stepped away from Double D as she covered her mouth. Ironically enough, Double D rushed to her in an effort to help her, patting her back and looking around for somewhere she could dislodge the petals safely. He noticed a empty room that seemed to have been converted into a bean bag toss. There was a sign next to the open door and the seat the person running the stand should have been sitting. It simply read "OUT TO LAUNCH"

Deciding to ignore the atrocious spelling for the time being, Double D pulled Marie into the room and spotted a small trash can near the door. He grabbed it and handed it to Marie who coughed more parsley petals into it. Double D couldn't help but rub his chin in curiosity as he watched the event unfurl. Once Marie was done, she weakly placed the trash can down on the floor and backed away. There was a single yellow speck on her mouth and her skin seemed paler. She backed into Double D who quickly grabbed her and stood firm as she leaned into him.

"Marie, are you okay?" Double D asked.

"I...I'm fine." Marie said as she moved away from Double D. "Ugh! I'm getting so sick of these stupid petals!"

"Umm...Marie?" Double D pointed to his lips to indicate the petal Marie still had on her face. It didn't take long at all for the Kanker to get the message and she uttered an annoyed grunt as she wiped it off. Double D put his finger to his lips and walked toward the trash can. He looked over the petals lining the bottom of the trash can. Carefully, he reached inside of his hat and pulled out the parsley petal he had saved the day before. He examined it closely, looking back and forth between the bag and the trash can.

"Double D," Marie muttered as she approached him. "What are you doing?"

"Huh?" Double D turned softly, looking a few times between Marie and the trash can. "Oh. I was just examining something."

"Ok, well can we examine it out in the hall before someone catches us here?" Marie asked. "I wanna be as far away from that stupid trash can as possible."

"I...I suppose." Double D led Marie out back into the hall. Not a single pair of eyes seemed to be focused on the odd couple as they resumed their walk down the hall.

"I'm so sick of it," Marie grumbled. "Why can't I seem to shake this stupid sickness?" She looked at Double D. "Are you sure you don't have any idea what's causing this, Double D?"

"Double D thought back to the petals in the trash can and to the enclosed petal in his hand which he examined once again. "Well, it's not exactly a scientific theory," He began, "And I can't say its exactly a solution but there is something that I've noticed about the different petals you've been, uh, expelling."

"Ugh!" Marie winced. "That sounds even worse than just coughing them out."

"My apologies."

"So," Marie shifted her gaze around the hallway, unaware of her own hand squeezing her arm. "What exactly did you figure out?"

"Well," Double D began, "We already know that you've been coughing out different types of petals over different periods of times. For the past few days, for example, you seem to be coughing up Parsley petals." Double D held up the bagged petal in his hand for Marie to see. After that, he slipped it back under his hat and pulled out a baggie with Holly petals. "And last week, while you were helping me clean my house, with mixed results I might add," He whispered in a low tone before returning to his normal tone of voice. "You coughed up these Holly petals."

"Ok, ok," Marie sighed. "I get the picture. I'm puking out a bunch of stupid flower petals and I don't know why. What's the point of pointing them out, Double D?"

"Well, as I sad before, this isn't exactly a scientific theory. Truth be told, I'm quite hesitant to even consider this a factor but I've been reading up on all the different flower species whose petals you've coughed up, including their cultural significance and designated meaning."

"Huh?" Marie raised an eyebrow. "You lost me."

"What they symbolize." Double D simplified. "For example, Parsley is usually connected to festivals"

Marie's eye widened. "Like the one we're having now?"

Double D nodded. "And Holly usually relates to domestic affairs. Such as cleaning one's abode for example."

Marie thought back to the day they had "helped" Double D with his chores and gulped.

"That's not all," Double D reached into his hat and pulled out three more baggies full of petals. "Bittersweet, the petals of which you coughed out during or investigation into the missing trophy, is related to truth. Hyacinth, which you coughed out during our training sessions together in preparation for the big game, are often associated with sports by the ancient Greeks. And then there's Clematis which is associated with knowledge and you were coughing out the petals-

"When I was studying for that stupid test!" Marie finished with a quiet gasp. "Holy crap!"

"As reluctant as I am to even consider something so utterly unscientific, these connections cannot simply be ignored. It seems that whatever type of flower petal you ex- Ahem! Cough out is related to some sort of outside stimuli."

"So...you're saying that what type of flower petal I cough out depends on what I'm going through at the moment?"

"That's the point I'm attempting to get across, yes." Double D confirmed.

Marie sighed as she rubbed her arm. "Well I guess that's one thing we know about this stupid sickness. Now if only we could figure out what's causing it?"

Double D placed a hand on Marie's shoulder. "Every little step brings progress."

Marie looked at her shoulder and then shifted her gaze toward Double D with a smile.

Just then, a basketball flew out from the left side of the hallway that the odd couple had turned and smacked Marie right in the cheek. She fell right on top of Double D as the ball hit the wall and bounced back into the room it came from. An insincere "sorry" sounded from the room.

"Doh!...Marie?...Are you alright?" Double D asked as he tried to lift Marie's head from his chest. The Kanker seemed clocked out, her tongue lolling and her eye dazed and faded. In a split second, however, she suddenly roared back to life, jumping away from Double D and landing on the ground hard enough to produce a crack. "Who the hell did that!?" She snarled.

"N-Now Marie! There's no need to escalate the situation." Double D feebly spoke as he held his hands up in a frail attempt to quail her anger. "I'm sure if we just discussed this like adults, we-

"RAAAAGGGGHHH!" Marie howled like a enraged banshee as she slammed through the doors the basketball had vanished behind. The cloud of dust she had kicked toward Double D as she ran, caused him to cough.

"Hik...*cough cough*...Marie...*cough cough*...Marie wait!" Double D jumped to his feet and rushed after the blue-haired Kanker, hoping he could somehow minimize the damage she was sure to cause in her rampage. Once he actually entered the room, however, he was surprised to find Marie standing peacefully near the center, looking around at all that was going on ahead of her.

"What is this?" She asked herself.

On the other side of the room, or rather, on the other side of the gymnasium, there were four rows of people lined up in front of four basketball hoops. The longest line had about sixteen people waiting in it while the shortest only had a couple trying their luck. Standing between the inner middle of the basketball hoops was Kevin, dressed in his uniform and with a stick sticking out of his mouth. He gaze shifted toward the couple to his right, the boy trying his best to psyche himself up so he could make the hoop. "Come on! Come on!" He whispered to himself as he tossed the ball with all his might. Unfortunately, he ended up shooting too high and wound up hitting the ceiling just above the basketball hoop. His face deflated as he watched the basketball fall over the hoop, land just outside of bounds and dribble a bit before rolling toward the dark.

"Alright pal," Kevin spoke up. "You had your chance now get lost! I've got other paying customer's waiting!"

"But, but, but!" The boy continued to stammer as his girlfriend sighed and grabbed his shoulder.

"Come on, Terry!" She said as she started to pull him toward the exit door. "You can prove your manhood on the strength test."

"But...but...but..." Terry continued to utter the same word over and over again as he was dragged outside.

"Wow...what a sore loser." Marie commented.

"I suppose something like that is opt to happen is one puts too much pride on one attribute." Double D replied.

It didn't take long at all for Kevin to notice the odd couple. "Hey dork!"

Double D winced as Kevin called his name. He even looked side to side in some hopeless effort to find someone else Kevin might have called. Finally, he stopped and pointed a finger at himself. "You...You mean me?"

"Who else?" Kevin answered in an annoyed tone as he gestured to the basketball hoop to his left. "Are you gonna play ball or not?"

"Oh! I-I'm not here to play! I just-

Double D cut his sentence short as he realized with his heart freezing in place that Marie was pushing him toward the hoop. "Marie!?" He whispered in a panic. "What on Earth are you doing?"

"Come on, Double D!" Marie cooed. "We might as well try to have some fun! Besides, you shouldn't let Shovel-Chin over there talk to you like that! You should show him who's boss."

"I fail to see the logic in proving I'm, to use your phasing, "The boss" by doing exactly what they're taunting me to do." Double D argued.

"Aww! Quit being such a baby!" With a finale shove, Marie forced Double D to the front of the hoop. "Alright Muffin! Show them what you got!"

"But I-

Double D was interrupted again, this time by the basketball Kevin and launched into his stomach.

"Get on with it, dork!" Kevin shouted.

Realizing he had no choice in the matter," Double D sighed and positioned himself to take the shot. As he had grown stronger since his training with Marie, he was able to regulate his breathing and his hands seemed less sweaty than they would normally be in such a situation. Regardless, Double D dreaded the humiliation certain to follow should he miss the shot which, as much as he didn't want to admit it, he had a 68.7% chance of doing so. "Why Marie!? Is this simply because my theory concerning the connection between the different petals you've been coughing up displeased you?" Double D shook his head, licked his lips and prepared to take the shot.

Marie and Kevin both watched with keen interest. Everyone else...was too busy with their own hoops or waiting in line for their chance at them to notice Double D.

"Here goes nothing," Double D groaned as he shot the ball toward the hoop with everything he had. This, of course, left him with a aching chest and a loud crack in his left arm. The basketball flew up above the hoop and landed right on the rim, eliciting a gasp from Double D, Marie and Kevin. The fact that he was on the cusp of actually making a shot made Double D smile despite his aching body. The three teens watched as the ball continued to circle on the rim until at last it slowed down right at the front of the whole thing, leaning toward the opening...

...only to fall back off the rim and nail Double D right on the head. It only hit him once before landing on the floor and dribbling away but it was enough to create quite the hemotoma, poking through his hat and everything.

"Double D!" Marie shouted. "Are you okay?"

Kevin, of course, was currently caught on the throughs of laughter. "Man, talk about a rebound!" He pointed at Double D, holding his stomach as he continued to laugh.

Marie tore her gaze away from the agonized Double D upon hearing Kevin's annoying laughter. "Laugh at my man, will ya!?" Marie then felt something tap her foot and looked down to see the basketball that had injured her crush. She grabbed the ball and chucked it at Kevin, waiting until after it had left her palm to yell, "Hey Shovel-Chin! Think Fast!"

"Huh?" Was all that Kevin had tome to say before the ball slammed into his chest, knocking him off his feet. The toothpick he had clenched between his teeth flew into the air, spun around a few times, and landed right in his eye. "YEOOCH!"

Now it was Marie who was laughing her ass off and pointing at Kevin. "Wow Kevin, for an athlete, you sure can't catch a ball!" Her cackling laughter reverberated through the gym as Double D continued to nurse his head.

"Wh...What's going on?" He asked in a dazed voice, his senses still somewhat scrambled from the blow he took to his head.

Kevin got up, his fingers dug into his eye in an effort to remove the toothpick, once he got it out and flicked it away, he noticed Marie pointing and laughing at him and clenched his teeth in humiliated rage. He jumped to his feet and stomped toward the odd couple.

"Um...Marie?" Double D whimpered as he noticed Kevin approaching. Marie noticed as well and ceased her laughter as she made it a point to stand between the two boys.

"Ohh ohh. That was a real laugh!" Kevin grabbed his arm and lifted up his sleeve. "Now I'm gonna show you something real funny!"

"K-Kevin! Please control yourself!" Double D pleaded. "Surely you wouldn't hit a girl!"

"Who said I was hitting a girl?" Kevin stared daggers into Marie's eyes as he said this. The Kanker sister, however, was not the lease bit intimidated. In fact, Kevin's comment seemed to only piss her off more.

"What's that supposed to mean, Shovel-Chin!?" She growled as she lifted her own sleeves up.

"Oh! You know exactly what it mean, Cyclops!"

Marie, as well as a few students in the background, gasped. "Oh you did NOT just go there!"

"Oh but I did!" Kevin sneered. "What are you gonna-

Marie leapt onto Kevin and a fight ensured, the two vanishing in a cloud of dust, stars and fist.

"Oh dear! Not the old fight cloud gag!" Double D hurried to the side of the brawl, circling the fighting teenagers with whimpers and gasp as he desperately racked his brain for a solution that would never come. "Marie! Kevin! Please stop!" Double D made the mistake of reaching into the cloud in an effort to pull Marie out, only to be grabbed and dragged in with a frightened yelp. His screams of pain added themselves to the terrible cacophony of their fighting. This persisted for a few minutes until a certain voice spoke softly yet loud enough for all three of them to hear.

"Umm...is this a bad time?"

The fight stopped at once with Marie holding Kevin down by the neck and her free hand clenched into a fist. She also happened to be sitting on top of Double D who now had three additional hemotomas growing next to the first one. His eyes were starry and his tongue comically lolled out of his mouth. Despite this, he was able to recognize the voice as well and turned to see...

"Nazz?" Kevin asked.

"What are you guys doing exactly?" The blonde girl asked as she approached the group. Given the effect she had over most of the male populace, everyone stopping to stare wouldn't have been out of the ordinary. However, there was a specific reason why all eyes, including those of Marie Kanker, were on the bubbly blonde girl. She was wearing a elegant and wavery pink gown with her hair done up in a gorgeous beehive, a single strand hanging loose over her forehead. She looked as if she had just walked out of the set of some historical drama that would put any kids besides Double D and May Kanker to sleep. Nazz noticed Double D underneath Marie and Kevin and held out her hand to him. "Double D! Are you alright!?"

"I...I...I..." Double D could only reply with this mantra of madness as his gaze was fixated on Nazz. With a giggle, the blonde grabbed Double D's hand and yanked him out from under Marie. The blue-haired Kanker was sent spinning in the air a few times before landing on Kevin, causing all the air in his lungs to rush to his mouth. After a few seconds of struggling, Kevin released the vital air with a pained gasp, fell back and deflated like a birthday balloon, his facial features becoming a unrecognizable mess of wrinkles.

"Oh Double D! What have you gotten yourself into?' Nazz asked as she stood the stupefied Double D onto his feet and started dusting him off. He continued his mantra as Nazz patted his clothes free of dirt. "I...I...I...I..."

It was then that Nazz noticed the multiple hemotomas jutting out of Double D's head and shook her own. She noticed Marie getting up from Kevin's deflated body, rubbing her own head and back and she nudged Double D to her. "Hey, could you hold him so I can get some ice for his bumps?"

"Umm...sure?" Marie said uncertainly.

Nazz rushed out of the gym with surprising speed for a girl in a big fancy dress and heels. Double D was pretty much unconscious at this point and was leaning on Marie. The Kanker realized this and as she looked down at the injured teen unknowingly using her for support, she felt more petals form in her chest. "Shit!" She thought. "Not now!"

Nazz returned after a few minutes with an ice pack from the nurse's office. She gently placed the pack on Double D's head and with Marie's help, they walked him to the side of the wall and leaned him against it, giving him the chance to rest.

"So..." Nazz spoke up once she had let go of Double D. "Just what were you guys doing anyway?"

"N-Nothing," Marie spoke, which wasn't easy considering those damned petals were tickling her throat. "Me and Shovel-Chin just got into a little scrape and Double D got caught up in it."

"She started it," Both girls turned to see Kevin approaching, his body no longer deflated. He took one more deep breath and exhale before speaking with Nazz. "So Nazz, what brings you here?" He suddenly produced a basketball out of nowhere. "Wanna shoot some hoops?"

Nazz giggled. "Sorry Kev but I'm gonna have to pass." She grabbed the sides of her dress and held them apart. "I've got to get ready for the big play tonight and I just thought I come see if you were going."

"O-Of course I'm going!" Kevin stammered. "I-I love plays!"

Marie scoffed. "Yeah right! I bet you've never willingly sat through a play in your life!"

"As a matter of fact, I have!" Kevin said. "It was quaint little production called "MIND YOUR OWN BEESWAX!"

Kevin and Marie growled at each other like two junkyard dogs. Had this been some Japanese slice-of-life anime, this would have been the moment a giant drop of sweat would have formed on Nazz's head. Instead, she chuckled nervously as she caution slide between the two and and held her hands apart. "Okay, okay! Let's not fight, okay! This is supposed to be a fun day so let's keep it that way, ok?"

Marie and Kevin continued to glare at each other for a few more seconds before they finally ripped from it with scoffs.

"There. "Isn't that better?" Nazz asked.

Silence. Awkward and painful silence.

"Uhhh...so Marie?" Nazz asked. "Are you going to the play?"

Marie scoffed again. "As if! Sorry sister but I wouldn't be caught dead in some stupid play."

"If you say so," Nazz sighed. It was around this time that Double D was finally starting to stir, the hemotomas all but vanished.

"Uhh...What happened to me?" He asked, his eyes bugling and his face reddening when he noticed Nazz approaching him.

"Oh Double D!" She said. "Are you ok?"

"N-N-Nazz? I-uh W-What brings you here?

Nazz giggled. "I just wanted to ask Kevin if he was going to be able to make it tonight." Without warning, Nazz suddenly hugged Double D. Kevin and Marie's jaws dropped to the floor as the smartest Ed turned into a sprinkler. "It looks like he'll be able to see us both in action!"

"Wait, what!" Both Marie and Kevin shouted in unison.

"Oh dear," Double D whispered to himself as he realized just what kind of trouble Nazz's innocent words had incurred for him. With another giggle, she let him back down and patted him on the shoulder, see you later, Double D, or should I say.

"Oh my goodness!" Double D shouted as he pointed to the empty hallway. "Do my eyes deceive me or did I just see the crew for Teens for Life magazine walking across the hall!?"

"No fooling!?" Nazz grabbed the hem of her dress and ran out into the hall after the nonexistent magazine group. Double D wiped the sweat from his brow, foolishly allowing himself to forget the danger he was in. Said danger was more than happy to remind him by picking him up by the collar of his shirt and pinning him against the wall.

"Alright dork! You have five seconds to explain just what the hell's going on between you and Nazz or else!" Kevin clenched his fist hard enough to crack it and pointed it at Double D.'

"Oh dear!" Double D wined. "Kevin! Listen to me! It's not what you think!" Double D cowered as he prepared for the crushing blow to his face.

Before Kevin could deliver that crushing blow, however, Marie reached out from behind him and buried two fingers into his nostrils, Then she flipped him over with enough force to send him rolling toward the opposite side of the gymnasium like a tire at high-speed. A few of the unlucky students and guest were even knocked out of the way like bowling pins in an alley as Kevin spun across the gym floor. He hit the wall hard enough to dent it and a few seconds afterward, fell through the newly created hole.

Double D gasped for air as Marie dusted her hands free of Kevin's germs. "Oh! Thank you, Marie! I-

"So what's the big idea!?" Marie suddenly growled as she lifted up Double D by the shirt. "You told me you're only doing a small part in the play!"

"Oh but I am! I am!" Double D answered nervously

"Oh yeah? What?"

"Well, Y-Y-You see...I...I am a tree!" Double D pointed his finger upward as he declared this.

Marie could not help but stare at him blankly. "What?"

"I-I am a tree." Double D nodded as sweat ran over his nose. "Yes indeedy! I am a tree! I am a tree yes indeedy! I-I got the part for a simple tree that appears but for one scene!"

Now Double D was a terrible liar. He was far too used to being upfront and honest, usually leaving the deception part of their various scams to Eddy. If one knew where to look, they could find all matter of tells on his face aside from just the sweat and the smile. Luckily for Double D, Marie was not well-versed in the art of spotting deception and so opted to drop Double D to the ground with a sigh.

"If you say so," She wiped her hands on her black shirt as Double D picked himself up. Suddenly, she got up in his face and started stroking his chin with a single finger. "Honestly, I think you'd make a cute tree." She whispered.

"I-I-I," Double D uttered, a flustered mess of a human being unable to respond. This awkward moment most likely would have lasted forever if not for Marie feeling those damned petals tickling her throat again. She pulled her hand away from Double D's chin and rubbed her throat.

"M-Marie?" Double D asked. "Are you al-RIIIIIGHHHT!"

Marie suddenly grabbed Double D's wrist and pulled him along with her out of the gym as Kevin's victims were barely starting to get back up. Kevin himself remained laying between the interior of the gymnasium and the outside, only moving to spit out a piece of wall he had accidently swallowed earlier.

---

After another trip to the bathroom to cough the petals into a toilet, Marie and Double D continued their trek toward the latter's stand. As they passed by the other classrooms and the stands being held within, Marie found her gaze to be shifting constantly from the left and the right, feeling if even for the tiniest of moments that she wished to get in on whatever they were offering. The fact that she herself wasn't so keen on going back to her own bust of a stand probably helped with that.

"Marie," Double D complained. "Don't you think we should be hurrying to our stations before the festival reaches its conclusion? Think of how much business we must have lost!"

"Double D, you're cute and all but get real!" Marie replied. "Trust me. Neither of us are missing anything!"

Double D couldn't help but groan at what Marie was saying.

"Besides, it was us students that put all the hard work into making this festival possible right? So we should at least get to enjoy it a little!"

"Well I suppose-

"Hey! Check our the ring toss!" Marie grabbed Double D's hand and yanked him toward the last room at the end of the hall. Sure enough, set in what appeared to once be the sandbox that belonged to the park, were six arranged rows of giant empty soda bottles five per row. They were quite dirty and appeared to have been fished out of a dumpster. Double D felt ill just looking at them. Marie, on the other hand was ecstatic as she searched for the rings, only to grow confused when there weren't any around.

"Hey, where are the stupid rings?" She asked as she scratched her head.

"If you want to toss some rings, you gotta fork over some dough first!" A familiar voice answered. From the somehow shadowy background approached Lee Kanker with a series of metal rings hanging from either wrist. "That's just show business, sweetheart."

"Lee?" Double D asked. "I didn't know you where manning the ring toss."

"And raking in the dough!" Lee smiled as she produced a lunch box full of money. "Been good business all day long!"

Double D was just about to point out how that money was to go to the school once more when Marie interrupted. "Yeah! Yeah!" She griped as she fished around in her pocket for a dollar bill. "Just give me some rings already!" Marie pulled out a dollar bill, crumpled it up and flicked it toward Lee. It hit the curly haired Kanker square in the forehead and fell flatly to the ground. Lee looked down at the crumpled currency for a few moments before looking back up at her sister.

A few moments later, Marie was sent flying backward into the hall. As she hit the wall, the five rings Lee had tossed into her stomach fell to the floor with clangs aplenty. A few seconds later, Marie fell over as well.

"Oh dear!" Double D muttered as Lee pointed and laughed at her sister's misfortune. Marie marched back into the room with a growl and the rings held firmly in her hand. With a glare at her still-laughing sister, she took the first ring in her other hand and aimed, sticking her tongue out as she did so. She squinted her visible eye and with a thrust, tossed the ring toward the bottle in the very middle. It clinked right on the surface before falling to the side. Marie growled and tried again. This time, the ring clinked up and down a few times before falling to the side.

As Marie growled and prepared to launch her third ring, Double D studied it closely from behind her. There was something off about the rings that he just couldn't put his finger on. He watched closely as Marie launched the third ring and shouted angrily as it simply went over the former sandbox. Lee snickered to herself as Marie held up the fourth ring.

"Strange," Double D thought. "There's something peculiar about those rings but what? " He watched as Marie carefully lifted the ring up and down, her eyes transfixed on the bottle in the middle. She was going to make it this time! She just had to! With as much care as a Kanker like her could muster, she tossed the ring. It danced a few times on the top of the bottle before falling to the side, prompting Marie to grab both sides of her hair and pull.

"Aww! What's wrong. little sis?" Lee cooed. "Lacking a little depth perception there?"

"Shut up, Lee!" Marie hissed as she prepared to throw the final ring. Double D took this final chance to examine the ring closely, earning a bit of ire from Marie. "Do you mind, Double D?"

"Oh! My apologies!" Double D stepped back without taking his eyes off the ring. Marie sighed, muttered "come on, come on," under her breath and tossed the ring. It bounced on three bottles before circling around a fourth. Marie clenched her fist. "Come on! Come on!" She practically jumped up and down as she begged the ring to go around the bottle's neck. Alas, this was not to be as the ring fell to the side once more. One could practically hear the "Wah! Wah! Wah!" sound effect as Marie stifled her own screams of frustration. Lee chuckled as she tossed the crumpled up dollar bill up and down in her hand. "Pleasure doing business with you, little sis!"

"The rings themselves don't appear all that anomalous, they're just made of metal and...Wait!" Double D quietly gasped. "Could that be it?" Eager to try out his new theory, Double D rushed up to Lee and handed her a crisp dollar bill. "Lee, I would like to try my own luck in this game if you don't mind."

Lee smiled and shrugged. "Whatever! It's your funeral, sweetcheeks!" Lee took the dollar bill and let the rings slide from her arm to Double D's. Once armed, Double D made his way back to the still-fuming Marie who was already planning several different methods of getting back at her sister for this humiliation.

"You better get this over with, Double D." Marie growled as she glared at her sister. "I'm pretty sure this stupid game is rigged!"

"My thoughts exactly," Double D quietly agreed. He took the first ring, prepared to toss it, and then suddenly stopped and pointed at the corner of the room. "Good lord! Isn't that the biggest spider you've ever seen!?"

"Huh?" Marie asked.

"Spider?" Lee and her sister both looked up at the corner which yielded only a spider web but no spider. "What spider?"

"He said in the corner, stupid!" Marie replied as she searched in vain for the nonexistent spider as well. As both girls continued to scan the corner, Double D took out a Bunsen burner from his hat, turned it on and heated the rings one at a time, allowing them to expand to twice their size. Once this was done, he placed the burner back inside the hat, placed the rings on his arm again and said. "Whoops! False alarm! My mind must be playing tricks on me again." He offered a nervous chuckle as Lee and Marie glared at him.

With a deep breath, Double D grabbed one of the rings from off of is arm, focused on the innermost bottle, and tossed the ring as carefully as he could. The ring spun around a few times atop the bottle's neck before descending down to the body Both Marie and Lee gasped as the ring clinked with the latter moving the hair out of her eyes for a better look.

"How did you..."

"Hmph!" Feeling just the slightest bit cocky, Double D proceeded to throw another ring aimed at the leftmost bottle of the row he had drawn first blood on. Once again, the ring danced upon the bottle before sliding down the neck. Both girls gasped again, only to utter different sounds afterward. For Marie, it was uncontrollable giggling and for Lee it was an angry groan.

Double D tossed his remaining rings one at a time, each of them hitting their mark on the remaining bottles in the row. "Eureka!" He shouted as the last ring slid down its bottle. Marie jumped up with a cheer over Double D's victory while Lee pulled on her hair in frustration as Marie did earlier. Only unlike Marie, she actually ended up pulling out two chunks of her orange mop. Upon realizing this, she gritted her teeth and shook, her body steaming and the hair further disintegrated into thin stands falling between her fingers. With each footstep a stomp, she made her way behind the teacher's desk and pulled out a giant purple teddy bear. It was missing a single eye and had stiches where the seams had torn everywhere on its unstable body. Lee dragged the giant bear to the back of the bottles, lifted it up and chucked it at Double D with enough force to send him flying out of the room. Marie managed to dodge the bear and followed Double D as he flew, all while Lee snickered darkly.

"Enjoy your spoils, sweetcheeks."

"Hey Double D," Marie asked as the caught up with the bear, which was now leaning against the wall, "You okay?" She looked around for any sign of her crush underneath or behind the bear but could find nothing. At least, not until a single hand popped out from beneath the bear's butt, flailing about helplessly. "Double D!" Marie grabbed onto the hand and pulled with all her might until at last, Double D popped out from the bear. He smacked against Marie and the two rolled across the hallway until they hit the lockers next to Lee's stand. As the dust settled and the odd couple finished coughing the excess dust out of their systems, it didn't take them long to realize the awkward position they had taken in their tumble.

Mainly, with Double D laying over Marie, their eyes locked in each other's gaze. Their faces went red and Marie felt that horrible sensation return in her throat.

"Oh my! I-I'm sorry!" Double D scrambled to get off of Marie, allowing her to get up and cover her mouth. She turned to the locker behind her and noticed it was the same locker she had trapped that crybaby Jimmy in not too long ago. She tried to remember the combination and to her luck, it was already halfway unlocked. She pulled the door open and coughed out the petals onto a bunch of textbooks and a pink jacket. Once they were all out, she slammed the door shut and dusted herself off. She was certain that she had tasted blood at the petals left her system but she figured it would be best to ignore it.

"Marie?" Is everything ok?" Double D asked.

"Y-Yeah! Peachy." Marie said as she approached Double D. "Never been better really!" She even went as far as to shoot her arm over her chest to really sell the point that she was ok, for all the good that would do her.

Of course, Double D wasn't convinced but he did figure it best not to prod if Marie was insistent on saying that she was fine. Instead he lifted the giant bear up and presented it to Marie. "Well, as is custom in our modern zeitgeist of teen festival culture, I believe you should have this!"

"Oh Double D!" Marie reached for the bear, only to gently push it away. "No, you keep it. You won it fair and square."

"Oh I insist" Double D insisted as he pushed the bear toward Marie. "I-I really have no room at the house for it!"

Marie looked at the bear thoughtfully for a few moments before shrugging and taking it off of Double D's hands. "Thank you, Double D."

Double D only responded with a nod and the two continued on their way back to the book stand.

"By the way," Marie asked as they turned the corner. "How did you get the rings to get around the bottles?"

"Well, truth be told, it was all a matter of expansion." Double D explained.

"Expansion?"

"Yes! You see, Lee had somehow heated the soda bottles so they would expand, thus making it near impossible to get the rings around them. So I used my personal Bunsen burner and used the same method to expand the rings so they would match. You could say I used fire to fight fire in a figurative sense."

"Heated the bottles?" Marie stared out into the hall as she mentally strung Double D's words together. Once she had, she was fuming. "That jerk cheated! Ohh! When I get my hands on her!"

"E-Easy now, Marie!" Double D said. "Let's focus on getting back to our stations! You can worry about exacting karma against your sister later and hopefully not in a way that will cause collateral damage or bodily harm to passerby."

Marie answered only with a toothy snarl toward her sister as Double D led her to the other hallway.

---

After what seemed like all day,- Actually it was pretty much all day, Double D and Marie had finally circled back near the hallway where the book stand rested. Just a single turn more and Double D could go back to manning the stand and managing the plenty of annoyed customers he was certain were waiting for him there. Marie, of course, was in much less of a hurry to return to her sad excuse of a haunted house and was certain any one that had come by in her absence was better off for her not being there. As they neared the turn that would bring an end to their wandering, they both happened to notice the sounds of intense giggling coming from just outside. As they had heard similar sounds all throughout the day. they intended not to pay it much mind. A all-too familiar voice speaking into a microphone threw a wrench in that plan.

"Come one! Come all! Reach for the stars and don't look back at Eddy's Bounce House Bonanza!"

"Eddy?" Marie asked.

"Bounce House Bonanza!?" Double D asked with a fretful tone. Both tweens looked out the window into the basketball court outside. Sure enough, there was a giant bouncy castle inflated over the court, yellow with orange trimming and black netting for walls. Through this netting, Double D and Marie were able to make out several younger kids jumping about in all directions. Interspliced with the laughs of joy were screams of terror and cries for mommy and daddy, indicating that some of the kids inside were a little too young to be playing with their bigger brethren. What really bothered Double D, however, was the size of the bouncy castle. He remembered spotting the full thing inflated a few days ago while running another errand for the principal and remembered clearly that back then, it had only been the size of a common shed, capable of housing 1o people at a time at best.

Eddy was clearly up to something. Something rotten.

"Excuse me, Marie!" Double D said in an intensity in his voice that Marie just couldn't help but find a little arousing. She had no time to tell him as much as he proceeded to rush to the end of the hall, past the turn that would have taken him back to his precious book stand and ran out the main door.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Marie rushed after the bookworm, half out of concern for just what he was getting himself into and half for morbid curiosity in wanting to see what happened next.

It didn't take long for Marie to catch up to Double D nor did it take the two of them long to find themselves in the shadow of the gargantuan castle. It really felt as if they were in the presence of a solidified fortress from ages past. Another call from Eddy's microphone woke them from their stupor by knocking them to the ground.

"Eddy's Bounce House Bonanza! Only five dollars!" Eddy, decked out in a purple showman's uniform he fashioned himself out of cardboard and crayon, turned off the microphone and cleared his throat. "What can I do for you two lovebirds, today?" He asked.. He asked in the most dignified voice he could speak.

It took a few seconds before the ringing in Double D's ears ceased and he could regather his bearings but once he did, he wasted no time jumping back to his feet with a single finger pointed at Eddy and shouting, "Eddy! Just what in Sam's Hill do you think you're doing!?"

"What does it look like, brainiac?" Eddy answered with his trademark scammer's flair as he produced a crumpled cardboard cane and pointed it at the massive castle. "I'm running the bounce house for the school festival!"

"Where are those bells coming from?" Marie uttered as she sat back up in a daze.

"Don't play coy with me, Eddy!" I happen to know for a fact that this bouncy castle is at least three times its standard issue size and currently serving four times its intended capacity of festival patrons! And I suspect you know it as well!" He rammed his finger into Eddy's nose to get his point across.

Eddy rebuttaled by shoving his cane into Double D's nose. "Aren't you always telling me to think outside the box, sockhead?" He flicked Double D's nose with the stick and smirked as his friend covered it with a glare. "I'm just being innovative in catering to my clientele. Is that so wrong?" He even had the nerve to give Double D puppy dog eyes, his hands clasped to the side like a child feigning innocence.

It was at that moment that Double D noticed the sign behind Eddy. A single sheet of work paper crudely taped onto a stolen wet floor sign EDDY'S BOUNCE HOUSE BOONAZAA! ONLY FIVE DOLLARS!" It read.

"Oh! Now I see your game!" Double D spoke. "You've inflated the castle beyond its intended bouncy so you could jack up the price, you...you..charlatan!"

"What you'd call me?" Eddy flipped. "You're the one that kept making a big deal about us not getting a cut of the profits for this fundraiser garbage! I'm just making sure I get my money's worth!"

"But Eddy! We're not supposed to be thinking of ourselves during this festival! We're trying to ensure Peach Creek Junior High's continued existence for the purpose of education!" Double D continued to go on a whole rant about how important it was for every single cent made today to go to the school. Of course, it went completely unappreciated as Eddy couldn't care less as he stood there, his arms crossed and his gaze sideways and Marie was still too dazed to fully understand what had been said aside from Eddy's latest scheme. (And wouldn't have cared otherwise.) Once Double D was actually finished speaking, Eddy only replied with a yawn.

"Are you done?" He asked. "Because I have plenty of more suck- I mean customers to attend to!"

Double D uttered a groan. "You won't get away with this Eddy! I can practically feel the deathly sword of Karma heading your way as we speak!"

There was a moment of silence, giving Double D ample time to realize just how ridiculous he sounded and flush with shame. Marie couldn't help but snicker as she finally felt the last of the ringing leave her ears.

"Man, do you ever turn off?" Eddy asked casually.

"Cool!" Yet another familiar called out from besides the group. All eyes fell to Ed as he walked up to the castle, 10 days worth of festival food in his arms. "A bouncy castle!" He poked his head to the side of the massive pile of snacks, his face resembling a stitched-together Frankenstein-like monster and his eyes shimmering with wonder at the inflated fortress before him.

"Ed?" Double D asked. "Shouldn't you be at the face painting stand?"

"I'm on break, Double D." Ed answered as he walked up to the group and mindlessly dropped his giant pile of snacks onto their feet. All three tweens cried out in pain as Ed stepped over the snacks and made his way to the entrance of the castle.

"Hey, Monobrow!" Eddy called out as he lifted one of his feet from the pile broken and somehow already bandaged. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Huh?" Ed turned and thought for a moment. Just what could he have forgotten. Then it hit him. "Ah ha! I know!"

Eddy snickered to himself and held out his hand, expecting his empty-domed friend to slap a dirty but valid five dollar bill in his palm. Instead, he felt something hard and smelly land on his hand and opened his eyes to see one of Ed's discarded shoes. Before he could shout an expletive in response, Ed's other shoe nailed him on the head.

"Off we go to adventure!" Ed shouted as he jumped into the bouncy castle. Only a few seconds later, a stampede of young children rushed out the entrance, screaming and crying about the smell of Ed's nearly bare feet.

"Wait! Hold on!" Eddy held out his cane in a poor attempt to protect himself from the mob while Double D grabbed Marie's hand and jumped out of the way. The mob of scared and frightened children ran over Eddy without mercy, the sounds of his bones cracking ringing through the air. As the dust settled, Double D and Marie made their way back to Eddy who had been trampled into the ground itself, tiny shoeprints all over his body. Marie burst into laughter but Double was a little more concerned about his friend. "E...Eddy? Are you...alright?"

Another moment of silence followed, the only noise seeming to be Ed's constant laughter as he bounced about by himself in the castle. Then, without warning, Eddy suddenly ripped himself from the ground, flames of rage and hatred flaring from his body. "ED!" He shouted as he raced toward the bouncy castle. The whole thing proceed to shake and stir as the two boys struggled inside of it. Despite Eddy's fearsome yells and angry shouting, Ed continued to innocently laugh like the big lug that he was.

"Marie," Double D whispered as he noticed ho violently the castle was beginning to shake. "I think we should back away."

"Right." Marie noticed the same thing. "Let's bounce!"

"Poor choice of words but good advice nonetheless." Double D gulped as the movement within the castle grew more aggressive and he was certain he could hear air hissing. "Run!" He and Marie made a break for the safety of the hallways as the castle continued to bounce about itself. After a few more seconds, the entire thing suddenly exploded, the resulting shockwave breaking the nearby windows of the school and knocking everyone within a three mile radius down. Every nearby tree was uprooted and blown away and the court beneath the bouncy castle cracked under the force of the explosion. The pieces that once made up the castle flew high into the sky, only to gently fall back down to the ground like a slow multicolored rain.

Eddy once again found himself wedged into the ground, his pants and underwear all that remained of his outfit. His torso was covered in bruises and scrapes and he had a single black eye although he had no idea how that even happened. "Ed!" He roared as he lifted his head up. "When I get my hands on you, I'll...I'll!..."

It was then that Eddy noticed the kids starting to surround him. Not the usual variety of Cul-Dee-Sac fellows he was used to seeing in this matter either but the children who, just minutes ago, had been playing in his bouncy castle. The all glared down at Eddy, hate and annoyance in their eyes.

"Umm...what's with the stink eye?" Eddy gulped as he realized just how outnumbered he was. He uttered a nervous chuckle. "Hey! It ain't my fault that stupid idiot doesn't know how to wash his feet!" The glares continued to sink in, shaking Eddy to his core. "Ok! Ok! Let Uncle Eddy cut you a deal okay! I know a great swing set around here! Only five dollars per swing!"

The kids grew closer.

"One dollar per swing?"

Even closer.

"One swing per not punching me?" Eddy stiffened as two of the bigger kids grabbed his shoulders and held him down. The angry children descended upon him at once, his cries for help sounding through the air.

Double D and Marie watched the whole thing from what used to be a window, shards of broken glass around their feet. "Well, I did tell Eddy Karma was coming for him. I just didn't expect it to be so...efficient."

"Whatever." Marie scoffed. "I'm bored already. Let's just go back to our stands already."

"Wait a minute!" Double D answered as his gaze wandered over the messy schoolyard. "Where's Ed?"

"Who cares?" Marie grabbed Double D by the scruff of his shirt collar and dragged him back with her down the hall. Above their heads on the rooftop, Ed rolled around in a pile of dead leaves and pieces of the bouncy castle, his childish giggling blocked out by Eddy's agonized cries for mercy.

---

"Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!" Double D muttered to himself as he looked through yet another vandalized book. Why he thought he could trust Jimmy and Sarah of all people to watch over his stand this afternoon, he had no idea. So many noble words scribbled out with crayon. So many proud illustrations tarnished by alterations of juvenile humor. It was enough to bring a tear to his eye as he placed the ruined books in a box. "Maybe I can find a way to restore them back home somehow." As he pondered such a way, he heard the door to his classroom open and looked up to see a blonde boy with a black tank top walking in. Double D knew him as Jeremy Macklemyer, one of the make-up specialist for tonight's play. He was strict but fair and so Double D found himself standing up in attention as Jeremy approached him.

"Eddward," He said sternly. "Why haven't you been in the auditorium?"

"I'm sorry?" Double D asked.

"Nazz was supposed to bring you back with her earlier." Jeremy said. "For dress rehearsal!"

"Oh!" Double D started sweating bullets. "I...I...haven't seen her."

"She told me she met you at the gym." Jeremy argued.

"Oh! Uh! I meant to say that I hadn't seen her lately! Yes! That's what I meant!" He smiled nervously. He was not a good liar at all. "Oh please forgive me, Jeremy. I've been so preoccupied with the happenings of today that the play has been a thousand miles from my mind!"

Jeremy sighed as he scratched the back of his head. "Well it was mostly Nazz's fault for forgetting to bring you. She's usually so smart but sometimes she can be a real ditz. I think she does that on purpose!" He whispered.

'Um, may I ask why you think that?"

Jeremy shook his head. "Never mind that. There's still two hours before the play. That will have to do!" He grabbed Double D, his large hand fitting nicely over the bookworm's skinny wrist. "Let's go!"

"Wait! I still have books to atte-

But he was already dragging Double D out of his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

---

Marie was sitting in front of the school, watching the Sun slowly sink into the horizon. Behind her was a pile of food wrappers and soda bottles that she had swiped from festival goers and fellow students alike and in her hands currently was a half-eaten helping of cotton candy, its color matching that of the sunset. Besides her sat the giant bear Double D had won her. She had yet to name it. Marie helped herself to another bite of her cotton candy as she heard the doors slam open behind her, followed by too familiar voices speaking.

"So then I said no amount of flash is going to fix those teeth Mr!"

"Hah! What a riot!"

May and Lee walked up to their blue-haired sister as she continued to watch the sky and eat her cotton candy. "Hey Flower Girl! How you've been?"

"Shut up!" Marie growled as she recalled the way her sister had cheated at the ring toss. That's when she took a second take at her cotton candy and snickered. "Better yet, catch!"

"Huh?" Before Lee had time to react, Marie had flung the candy into her hair. It took a few seconds for Lee to process what had just happened and once it had sunk in, she started to scream like a banshee as she ran about trying to dislodge the candy. Both Marie and May laughed at her expense right up until she decided to bite the bullet and rip the cotton candy from her hair., taking out quite a few strands in the process. "So you wanna play dirty huh?" She flung the ruined cotton candy at Marie who picked up May and used her as a shield. After tossing the bucktooth blonde aside, she lunged at her other sister and the too tussled in yet another cartoony ball of violence. May paid them no heed as she was far too worried about her hair.

"My hair! My beautiful golden locks!" May growled at the ball of violence and dived in as well. All three sisters continued to tear at each other like animals in front of the school, hurling insults to one another as they went.

"Cheater!"

"Sore loser!"

"I bet you cheated because you're stupid game was too easy to beat otherwise! A freaking baby could have won otherwise!"

"Hey! Don't take your anger out on me just because your boyfriend's Romeoing it up with some other girl besides you.

"WHAT!?" The brawl came to an abrupt end as Marie grabbed both of her sister's throats and held them off the ground. "What the heck did you just say?"

"I...ghh!...said...Double D is playing Romeo in the school play!" Lee answered.

"Yeah!" May agreed. "Lee and I saw him at dress rehearsal with Nazz!"

"What where you doing at the auditorium in the first place?" Marie asked.

"What else?" Lee reached into her pocket and pulled out a bag of popcorn. "We wanted first dibs at the snacks!" She causally opened the bag and helped herself to a mouthful.

Marie growled and tossed both of her sisters aside. "I can't believe that pencil-neck jerk! How could he lie to me like that!? I didn't even think he was capable of lying."

"Aww cheer up Marie!" May said. "Maybe Double D was just too embarrassed to tell you about it."

"Or maybe he was afraid you'd rip him a new one if you saw him acting all kissy-kissy with another girl." Lee snickered as she picked herself up, her popcorn bag somehow still intact.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Marie challenged. Just the mental image of Double D on the same stage as Nazz caused twice as many petals to form in Marie's chest. She gasped for a few seconds, punched herself in the lungs to force the petals to make way for air and produced a few dry coughs. "Y-You trying to say I'm jealous?"

"You said it, not me!" Lee teased through another mouthful of cheap popcorn.

"Listen, you no-eyed know-it-all! I'm not jealous of anyone, least of all that prissy little blonde Rash!"

"Nazz." May corrected.

"Whatever!' Marie shouted. "The point is, Double D's mine and everyone knows that!" She felt the petals crawl up to her throat and covered her mouth. "I...I'm not jealous!"

"Well, if that's the case," May said. "Why don't you come with us to the play?"

Marie tensed up. "You mean...you guys are actually going to that thing? But you don't even like plays!"

"But we do like heckling!" Lee pointed out with a giggle. "Especially when there's food involved."

"Wait, do you mean food for eating or for throwing?" May asked innocently. She was answered with her bottom lip being grabbed by Lee and stretched out.

"I mean both, ya idiot!" Lee released her sister's bottom lip and sent her spinning toward the school entrance. "Who knows, you might even get the chance to throw some soda on that pretty dress Nazz is wearing. What do you say?"

Marie felt conflicted. The last thing she wanted to do was watch Double D play as Romeo with some other girl as Juliet but that was also the exact same reason she couldn't just let this slide past her. She needed to keep an eye on them, to ensure nothing happened between them. At this point, she was practically choking on the petals in her throat. After making sure her sisters were the only ones around, she turned and coughed as many of them out as she could. She definitely tasted blood this time and as she looked down at the petals she had ejected, she noticed spots of blood on the little yellow dots.

"My condition's getting worse," She thought. "And Double D's the only one who can figure out what it is. I can't let some barbie doll like Nazz distract him from that!" She clenched her fist. "Besides, knowing him, he'd make a cute Romeo. I'd like to see that." She wiped her mouth and turned to her sisters. "Alright, let's go."

---

The auditorium was filled to the brim with people, plenty of who didn't even go to Peach Creek High. One would say it was a testament to the power of school spirit that permeated through the festival. Others would say that students got in free and many were there for the sole reason of heckling their friends on stage. That was more or less the reason why Eddy and Ed were in the middle row. In a surprising turn of events, Eddy was able to hang on to some of the ill-gotten gains he made today and used it to buy a truckload of snack for himself and Ed. Ed, who wasn't quite sure why he was here, was happily munching on a doughnut. when he heard a voice speak to him. And yes, it was familiar.

"This seat taken, stud?"

Eddy and Ed turned to see the three Kanker sister taking the three empty seats next to them. "Hiya Ed!" May waved.

"Hello, Ed!" Ed repeated through a mouthful of doughnut as Eddy leaned forward. "What the heck are you doing here? This ain't a monster truck show, you know?"

"Hey, we just want to support local theater!" Lee grinned. "Besides, it's a free country, isn't it?"

Eddy met Lee's gaze or would have if there wasn't a bunch of curly orange hair in the way. Finally, he slunk back into his seat with a disinterested, "Whatever."

Ed, by this point, had finished his doughnut and looked around fretfully as it finally dawned on him that all the seats in the row were filled. "But Eddy," He whispered. "Where's Double D supposed to sit?"

"Haven't you been paying attention to the stupid plot?" Eddy shouted. "He's in the play, genius!"

Double D's in the play?" Ed went blank for a moment. "Oh! Like on the monkey bars?"

Eddy pulled another doughnut from a bag and shoved it into Ed's mouth. "Shut up and eat!"

"Shhh!" May whispered. "It's starting!"

Sure enough, the curtains opened to reveal Jimmy, dressed in about as Shakespearian an costume as you can get. He seemed nervous and outright yelped as the spotlight came on. Sweating bullets, he fumbled over his costume for his script which he flipped through for a few seconds before remembering that his lines were on the first page.

What an idiot.

"T-Two households, both alike in d-dignity! In fair Verona where we lay our scene! From an-ancient grudge break to new munity. Wh-Where civil blood makes civil hands uncooked..CLEAN! UNCLEAN!"

Eddy and the Kankers broke into a fit of mocking laughter at Jimmy's misfortune. Eddy even pointed at the little sucker as he laughed. Ed, on the other hand, was too busy gorging himself on nachos to really care about what his friend and former tormentors were doing. The laughter only continued as Jimmy desperately tried to continue his prologue.

"The witch, if you wi-with patient ears attend. What here shall misses, MISS! O-Our toil shall-AHHHH!"

Tired of his verbal butchering of Shakespeare, the drama club grabbed a hooked cane and used it to yank Jimmy to the side of the stage, prompting even more laughter from Eddy and the Kankers. The crowd cheered as Jimmy was whisked off the stage and after a few moments, three young men Marie did not know nor care to know every well entered the stage and began exchanging dialogue. Marie quickly lost interest and shut her eyes. Only then, at that moment, did she realize how tired she actually was. Her legs still ached from all the walking she did with Double D and, weirdly enough, she could still feel petals in her chest. The words that the young men spoke sounded little more than muffled voices from the TV as Marie danced in and out of consciousness. Every so often, she would pick her head up and notice a change or two about the stage such as the arrival of two female players or a change of scenery. Of course, such changes failed to really capture her interest and she closed her eyes once again, her hand resting beneath her chin. Until..

"Is the day so young?"

Marie blinked a few times, certain that she had hear Double D's voice and already convinced that it was the remanent of a dream she woke up from before it could truly begin. But then she looked up on stage and sure enough, there he was. Double D, dressed in a blue Shakespearian outfit and hat. A light blue cape hung from his shoulders and danced in the winds provided by an out of view fan.

"Nice tights, dork!" Kevin called out from the seats.

"Hi, Double D!" Ed waved with a mouthful of peanuts. It was then that Eddy noticed just how much of his provisions Ed had devoured. "Quit eating all my food!" Eddy tackled a laughing Ed to the ground and Lee and May continued to laugh at Double D.

"Well if it isn't Little Boy Blue?" Lee nudged Marie on the shoulder. "Your boyfriend's sure looking dapper eh?" Lee snickered.

Marie hardly heard her sister's remark. She was too engrossed in Double D's visage. By all rights, he should have looked ridiculous in that getup and to an extant, he did. But there was something about it all, maybe his posture, maybe the scenery that just made Double D look...regal. Manly. Handsome.

"Yeah...whatever you say, Lee..." Marie whispered with her eyes still glued to Double D.

"Huh?" Lee noticed her sister staring off toward the stage and waved her arm over her single eye. "Marie?"

Even with her vision obscured by her sister's arm, Marie continued to watch Double D act out his role with dignity and grace. The words of every other actor and actress fell flat before Marie's ears but not his. No, his words sounded clear and triumphant, even as they spoke in the same volume as everyone else.

"Alas that love, whose view is muffled still, should without eyes see pathway to his will? Where shall we dine? Oh me! What fray was here!? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all. He's much to do with hate but much more with love.

"Double D's pretty good, huh Eddy?" Ed nudged his tiny friend's shoulder.

"Yeah, if you like nerdy stuff!" Eddy chuckled only to watch Double D intently. "That jerk's been holding back his acting talent all this time!" He smiled. "I'll find a way to make a buck off this if it kills me!"

Thanks to Double D, Marie was drawn enough to the play to actually follow the plot. Of course, she lost all interest once Double D was out of the picture, save for the moments when Nazz was on stage, still dressed in that same getup she wore at the gym earlier. She couldn't help but tense up a little as a result, seeing Nazz's skill matching her beloved Double D's.

Suffice it to say, it was all the harder for her when the time came for Romeo and Juliet to finally meet.

"I-If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss!" Ironically enough, Double D himself was blushing fiercely. Understandable, considering he had Nazz's hand in his.

"Speaking of blushing pilgrims, huh Marie?" Lee shoved her sister in the stomach again. This time, Marie responded by grabbing her sister's face and shoving her backward.

Nazz giggled before speaking her own lines. "Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, which mannerly devotion is this; For saints have hands that pilgrims hands do touch. And palm to palm is holy palmer's kiss." The lack of the words "Like" and "Dude" were astonishing to hear from Nazz.

All around her, Marie could hear different people praising Nazz's acting.

"Wow! She's so good!"

"And cute to boot."

"Beauty and brains. That Romeo is a lucky guy!"

Marie felt her teeth clench as she heard that last sentence. "These idiots don't know anything!" Marie thought. "Double D's a far better actor!...Wait...what? Do I really think that? But I hate plays!...Of course I mean that! What else could I mean..."

Marie seethed within her chair, her fingernails digging into the arm rest. Neither her sisters nor the Eds seemed to notice her emotional simmer.

The play continued without much incident. Marie found herself fading in and out of it, the in portions, of course, all belonging to Double D's presence and lines. She watched as "Romeo" declared his love to "Juliet" on the balcony, tried in vain to save his friend Mercutio, only to slay his friend's killer himself and uttered convincing (If overdramatic) cries of despair when he given word of his lover's apparent death. Aside from Marie, her sisters, and Eddy, there wasn't a dry eye in the house when Double D prepared to drink his poison to join Juliet in death.

"Why art thou yet so fair? Shall I believe that unsubstantial death is amorous, and that the lean abhorred monster keeps Thee there in the dark to be his paramour? For fear of that, I will stay with thee. And never from this place of dim night depart again! Here I will remain with worms that are thy chambermaids. O here will I set up my everlasting rest and shake the yoke of inauspicious stars from this world-wearied flesh! Eyes, look your last! Arms, take your last embrace! And, lips, O, you, the doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss! A dateless bargain to engrossing death!"

Double D, already beat red from the moment he mentioned "lips", struggled to steady his face toward Nazz's. Marie found herself hoping, even wishing that somehow, something would intervene to keep Double D from kissing that no-good Barbie wanna-be. Instead, she would have to settle for the kiss lasting only a fraction of a second as Double D quickly pulled away with a nervous gulp.

"Come, bitter conduct! Come, unsavory guide! Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on the dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark! Here's to my love." Double D gulped down the bottle in his hand, only to spit it out with a gag, a few bubbles escaping his mouth. "Soap!? Who put soap in the apothecary bottle!?"

Lee and May snickered. "I've been waiting all night for that!" Lee said.

"Good one," Eddy snickered as well, only to get shushed by an annoyed Ed, tears running down from his eyes. "Shh! I'm trying to watch!" He turned back to the play, his lips blubbering.

"Seriously, I've seen some immature pranks in my time but soap in a stage prop!? Of all the cockamamie-Huh?" Double D heard a voice speak to him from offstage, reminding him that he was still in the middle of a play. A quick glance at the audience made Double D privy to this fact and with a embarrassed chuckle, he tossed the bottle away and finished his final line of the play. "O true apothecary, the drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss, I die!" He reached offstage for a small pillow, planted in on the ground behind him, and threw himself to the stage floor, his head hitting the pillow.

Ed burst into tears, a lot of which drenched Eddy. "Poor Romeo!"

"Watch where you cry, numbskull!" Eddy shouted. "I only have so many of these shirts at home!"

"Man, Double D sure knows how to shine like a star, right Marie?" May said as she wiped a tear from her own eye. "Marie?"

Marie hardly heard her sister. She had once again tuned out the play now that Double D's role was finished. She watched, almost half-awake as Nazz discovered Double D's body, stabbed herself with a drop dagger and threw herself on the ground. The rest of the family gathered around, said their lines and Jimmy was thrown on stage with a yelp to close off the play.

"Owwie...Oh! Uh! A glooming peace this morning with it brings. The Sun, for sorrow, will not show his head. Go hence to have more talk of these sad things. Some shall be pardoned and some punished. For never was there a tale of more woe than that of Juliet and her Romeo."

With this final line, the crowd cheered, many of them getting out of their seats for a standing ovation. With the tragic tale now complete, the costumed actors got up, stood shoulder to shoulder and took a well-deserved bow.

"Look Eddy!" Ed cried happily as he squeezed Eddy under his armpit and pointed at Double D on stage. "Romeo and Juliet have returned from the dead." He gasped. "They are now zombies!"

"Let go of me, you big lug!" Eddy screamed as he was suffocated under Ed's pits.

"What a show!" May cheered as she stood and clapped.

"Eh, I prefer the one with Lloyd Kaufman." Lee said with a single clap.

"What did you think, Marie?" May asked her sister who remained in her seat. "Was that play a hoot or what?"

But Marie did not hear her sister. She hardly heard anything that didn't sound like a cloud of worthless noise surrounding her head. He eyes were transfixed on the boy of her dreams and the other girl standing next to him.

Within her chest, the petals doubled still.

(With this chapter, we've reached the end of the funny slice-of-life stuff. Don't worry. That doesn't meant things aren't going to be funny from here on out. This is Ed, Edd n Eddy after all. This just means will be focusing more on romantic drama and angst. What fun!)