Mess Hall, Praesidium

6/5/17

"So your game went well, then?" My hulking Borelian friend asked.

"It did! It was really fun, and honestly I'd do it again. Such a rush, I tell ya. Really something." I took another sip. "Not something I was expecting to ever do, but then again, I never thought I'd be fighting off a fucking alien invasion either." I looked at my fur-covered comrade, staring intently at me. "Uh, no offense."

"None taken. In my defense, I never thought to be eating lunch alongside a tiny psionic cub like you." She cackled loudly at her own stupid joke.

That's the thing I liked about Borelians; sure, they were big and intimidating, but they could be very boisterous if need be - they were loud and proud people, and they sure as hell knew it.

"Fair enough," I said. "I can't imagine that you took the revelation of what the Collective really was, did you?"

She shook her head. It was kinda funny watching her do that, as her facial hair fluffed up for some reason while doing it. She looked like a dog drying itself off from getting wet.

"It was one that was quite shocking and revealing at the same time. The Mutons alone were terrifying enough to be sure, but those Paradise...things," she shivered. "I cannot bear to think of why anyone in the realm of sanity would allow such a thing to be real. Even the most fanatical Oyariah would struggle to justify it. Or perhaps not. They would find a way to explain it...somehow."

"I'm guessing the Oyariah are somewhat controversial back home?"

She took a moment to consider that. "Not...exactly. The truly controversial are the Sar'Manda...though for entirely different reasons. The Oyariah are...different. They are often isolationists, and hold atypical beliefs compared to the rest of us. Mostly concerning the Ethereals, who they revere." She sighed. "Not without reason. They are powerful, and they saved us when we needed them. But while some view them as fanatical, the truth isn't as exciting. They're just different from us, even if I can't help but see that as naive now, if not just suspicious as to their true beliefs."

"Hmmm. A lot of humans view aliens like that too, you know."

"I do not blame them. Their suspicion and hatred does have some merit."

"I mean, if I'm going to be a hundred percent honest, I was like that when this war began," I admitted. "I was afraid and downright scared. Only when I joined the Priests and more information came out that I...well, I actually kind began to feel bad for you guys."

She appraised me dubiously. "Feel bad? For the people who have violated your world without proper reason?"

"No Carriera, not the entire Collective. Just people like you, y'know?" I waved by hand idly. "The soldiers who've been lied to, and sent out to fight and die for the Ethereals. And then again, not even all the Ethereals. Just the Imperator, if you think about it. Without him, the Collective wouldn't be a thing. For example, what were you and your mate told before being sent here? What had us horrible humans committed to face the wrath of the Ethereals?" I said the last line sarcastically.

She shrugged. "That the humans needed to be absorbed into the Collective with force. That was it."

"What?" I was surprised.

I knew that they weren't given much info on us, but that? That was just laughably stupid.

"Yes. If you wanted a more complex answer from me, I could not give it to you. I doubt even my commanding officers knew much more. Literally everything I and my squadmates learned about you humans was from your Internet and captives." She noticed the concerned look on my face. "The captives I mentioned were not harmed, rather civilians under occupation or captured soldiers. I do not know what happened to them, but my best guess is that they were sent offworld as prisoners. Hopefully not to be experimented on."

I gulped. Maybe I should try to change the subject.

"Before seeing Aegis, had you ever met an Ethereal?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Several weeks after my induction into the Runiararch, the Battlemaster visited my training camp. It was considered an honor for such a high profile visit."

"It must have been scary, seeing him. The guy's huge, and he can literally conquer planets by himself. Not to mention his telekinesis."

"It was quite intimidating. Although in his presence, it felt incredibly, how do I say, powerful. He observed us performing combat simulations, gave some advice, and at the end of the visit, gave this speech on how we were training for a 'great cause of the Ethereal Collective' and how we were the 'excellent examples of the Vitakarian race, who were strong enough to face any enemy.'" She scoffed - I noticed the sarcasm in her voice. "As you humans say, it was a load of bull's shit."

"Bullshit." I quietly corrected her. She snorted again.

"But now my mate and I have seen the truth, an ugly truth which has led to the deaths of millions. All because of so many lies." The grip on her glass cup tightened. I feared she may accidentally break it. But I didn't blame her for her anger. How else could one feel when their whole job, and to a point, their life, was based off a mountain of lies?

"But that is something I can avenge in XCOM. My fallen comrades, and your people's deaths."

"And how are you going to do that?"

"By killing as many of the enemy as I need to." Her voice was lathered with a deep growl.

Yeeeah. Pro tip - don't piss off a Borelian.

"But that is not for now. I shall do so at a later date." She rumbled.

"So, do you still see the Battlemaster in a good way?"

"Does he give respect where respect is due? Yes. Is he honorable? Yes. Is he a good leader? Yes. The Battlemaster is someone who, in some parts of me, like it or not, I can respect. He is more...stable than some of the other Ethereals I have heard about." While I necessarily didn't agree with that, I could see why she'd think like that. She had more 'experience' with him than I did.

"And your thoughts on him?" I sighed.

"I've read and watched what we have on him. And he's got some good qualities, I'll admit. He's a decent enough leader, he has lines he won't cross, he doesn't march around killing innocent civilians, and he's shown that. He cut off Isomnum's support in Beijing, and up to this point hasn't done anything on Patricia's level." She gave a small nod.

"But, and yes, there's a big but. He's killed people - a lot of people. Not to mention the President of the United States, and quite a few XCOM soldiers. Actions, whether or not you like it, have consequences. And he's stood by and let Ethereals and others do much worse things than him, which he could've stopped. He's responsible for a lot of shit. Shit that he needs to answer for."

"Hold on for a second. If actions have consequences, then when you inevitably deploy and kill enemies, does that not also make you responsible for any actions you commit? Yes, he will orphan many, but won't you also as well? Any Vitakara you kill, for example, that will mean that a member or members of their families are not coming home. So are you not responsible for anything you will do in comparison to what he does?"

I paused, gulping. "I...I did not think of it that way."

"Exactly." She took another drink. "You may see him as the enemy, but eventually many will see you, Dawn, as the enemy." She looked me right in the eye. "I have a kill count too." She said that very manner-of-factly.

"You've killed humans?"

"Yes. Ten."

"You...remember?" Okay, now she was getting a little weird.

"Do I regret my actions? Yes. I was under the false belief of you humans being the enemy. I cannot go back in time and change those actions. But what I can do is make up for my transgressions by working with your kind. But that is another conversation, for another time. Back to the point - although he is the enemy, do not think you are better or on another level to him. You are just as responsible for your action as he is."

"That makes us even, in a way. I guess depending on who wins, one of us will be seen as the hero, the other the villain." I snorted. "Funny how that works, innit?"

"I suppose. Time, as always, will tell."

"Yeah, I guess. My grandpa has military experience, you know. Did I ever tell you that?"

"No. Go on." She seemed very intrigued.

"My grandfather served in World War 2. You know what that is, right?"

"Your country fought the ones called the Nazis, yes?"

"Oh, I didn't know you knew-"

"Just because I'm Borelian doesn't mean I spend all my time killing people. Your military history fascinates me."

"Right. Dark times. He was in the OSS, which was a spy organization. He helped the French Resistance against the Nazis. He sabotaged trains, freed prisoners, killed officers, behind-the-lines stuff. He killed quite a few of them, too. Twenty or thirty, something like that."

"Did he survive?"

"Yeah, but cancer got him last year. He was a really good guy. You would've liked him - he was basically my second dad. He was a helluva soldier. A lot of the shit he taught me really impacted me. Kinda motivated my choice to come here, actually. "

She then did something I'd never seen her do. She took her left hand, extended her index and middle fingers, and placed them on her chest. She closed her eyes, whispering something I couldn't pick up.

"Um….what was that?"

"The best term to translate into your language would be 'saying of remembrance'. We do it to remind ourselves of the sacrifices we and loved ones make to protect us from danger. Think of it like you saluting a veteran. You honor their sacrifice, course, and duty. Something I am very sure your grandfather did to the best of his ability."

I was taken a bit aback, I'll admit that. "Thank you. That was really thoughtful of you to do it. What were you saying? I couldn't hear you."

"It's similar to what you'd call a prayer, but it has no religious affiliation. To put it into human terms, what I just said was 'I honor your grandfather for fighting with honor and dignity, for the common good, and in the pursuit of victory against evil.' Any good Borelian would know it. It's very old - pre-unification old."

"Thank you. That really means a lot for you to say that. He was a good man." I took another drink. "I wonder what he would think if he saw me now, his granddaughter fighting against an alien invasion."

"I am sure he would be extremely proud of you."

"What would he even think of this war, if he knew what went on behind the scenes, Ria? All this Ethereal puppet-master shit? And Paradise? Jesus, the things that go on there…"

"Your anger is understandable. Though not all of the Ethereals are bad people. Aegis and Caelior have shown that."

"Oh, I'm well aware. That librarian guy Cogitian, for example. According to Aegis, he pretty much spends all of his time in his libraries. Caelior was well, you know, an incredibly destructive teenager, but the reason for that was because everyone around him used and lied to him. Aegis, never had anything against him from the get-go. Sana is...complicated. Yes, she saved your species. That's alright with me. What I don't approve of is her childlike attitude and her god awful annoying naivety. I've read her file. She had one chance to help us, and she just left because 'oh no, more people are going to die'. Bitch, this is a war. People die in wars all the time."

I shook my head. "Some people, Ria. Some people are just hard to understand. But enough of that. Got a lot on my schedule. I've got the sim with the Archangels coming soon, my test coming up-"

"Test?"

"IC wants to see how much I've learned. I'm going into a Dreamscape 'battle', and how I'll do it will be recorded. Kind of a progress check, if you will."

"Good luck, cub." A large, furry, clawed hand patted me on the shoulder. I winced slightly as I imagined the large claws piercing my skin. "I have trained you well so far, no?"

"Well, my aim's gotten better. I'm getting there. Couldn't have done it without you."

"And I will continue. You are a good student, Dawn. I think you would make a good Borelian, given the chance." I laughed. Loudly.

"Me? No offense, but I would not make a good Borelian. I'm not very violent or strong, and honestly, I'm not sure if I'll ever fully become a real soldier."

"Dawn, being a Borelian isn't all about soldiering around and shooting things. It's the why. Why, you may ask, are Borelians so militaristic compared to the rest of the Vitakara?" I shrugged in response, no immediate answer coming to mind.

"Why? Well, I will give you a much more in-depth explanation later, but in essence, before we came together as one state, we were a mess of clans, constantly fighting for resources, land, and the like. After many wars, most of the clans unified as a central authority. Those who did not submit were...eliminated or made a member by force."

She paused for a moment. "War and fighting are in any Borelian's blood, Dawn. It is our heritage. But it is much more than that. Dawn, it's not about what your role fulfills. It's why you do what you do. Same thing with why you're here, same thing with my people. We both do things for reasons that ultimately makes us who we both are."

"That's really eye-opening. Thanks for that, I...I needed that."

"Any day, little cub. Now if you must excuse me, I must go fight with my mate."

"Uh, what?"

"You should have seen the look on your face! Ha! It is a common pastime for Borelians to fight. Not violently, of course! It is well, think of it as exercise. It also builds strength and trust amongst couples and friends. I will see you later, Dawn."

"Bye." I waved as she walked away.

Well, that was deep. If you told me several years ago that I'd be having deep moral conversations with an alien, a furry alien of all things, I'd have called you crazy.

Now? Just another day at XCOM.

Project Nolan Training Center, Praesidium

6/7/17- 11:30 AM

More Dreamscape free time to kill. Only this time it'd be more interesting.

I had teammates this time around.

The Archangel trio that I'd met in the Mess Hall a while back had offered to train with me today, which I was more than happy to accept. They'd brought along a few more Archangels that I'd hadn't met before, making two full Hosts. These guys made me look like a small fry in terms of experience, and I was sure I could learn a thing or two from them.

Also, they had jetpacks, sooo...yeah. That was awesome. Sierra went to introduce me to the rest of their team.

"Alright, listen up. Today's exercise is going to be slightly different from normal. We have a person who'll be training with us today. We'll be showing her the ropes on battlefield operations and such. This is Dawn. She's new, but a powerful telepath." I smile, and give a wave. I'm greeted by some nods and waves.

Alright, no 'how old are you' questions yet, so that's good.

"Today's op will be simple- we will be fighting in a city environment, with the goal of removing all enemy forces. Once that is accomplished, we will be eliminating an HVT, a commanding officer. That's where our telepath comes in." She pointed to me. "Dawn here will be providing telepathic assistance to us. Her job here is to use her telepathy to find the target, so we can eliminate it. Expect her to also use her psionics to help us in general during the engagement."

I had asked Sierra beforehand to not bring up my biopathy, as that was well within the works, and I had grown ever so more comfortable with my regular telepathy. She had agreed. Thanks, Sierra.

Everyone else on the team nodded. Besides Ted and I, I wondered how many of them were psions.

"The rest of us will be engaged in the elimination of all enemy forces. I will be using the Valkyrie MEC to provide overall support, and Ted will be in command for this mission. Understood?" We all nodded.

Let's do it.

This is your first big mission, Dawn. It's not a real one, but it's going to be about as real as it gets. Stay calm, and focus. Don't lose it, okay?

We all placed hands or fingers on the Orb, which instantly transported us into a large parking lot. We were all fully clad in our armor and weapons - Sierra being the exception, as the Valkyrie suit was all she needed to kick some alien ass. Wearing my Aurora armor had become more natural to me, as I had been treating it like a second skin. The shields it gave were a lifesaver on more than one occasion, and it overall was a very neat piece of tech.

My plasma rifle was also in hand, which I slammed a magazine into. I was getting better and better at using XCOM's arsenal, and I had found two particular favorites in plasma and symbiote grenades. I'd honestly never imagined myself using sci-fi weapons like plasma rifles or grenades in my life, but then again, truth can be stranger than fiction.

Okay, I've got enough grenades….ammo looks good...everything looks good on the HUD...alright then.

"Everyone ready?" I gave a thumbs up, letting the rest of the team know.

"Okay, let's go!" Sierra's engines screamed, lifting her into the sky.

"Dawn, you're with me and Anna." Ted said over the radio. "Remember, you can kill things, but your main goal is finding that HVT."

"Got it!" I followed the two of them as the rest of the Host took off and flew over another building, taking the block across from us. We entered a street filled with empty cars. A squad of Mutons was on the far side of the street. Ted and Anna took flight and quickly killed them. I followed as we moved past a row of empty shops. An explosion sounded a few blocks away, with various chatter on the radio.

"Sierra's encountered a camp of Andromedons in a nearby park. She's taking them out as we speak. We've got a large enemy group up ahead. We'll take them from the rooftops, you from the street. Got it?"

"Got it, sir." My grip tightened on my gun. You can do this Dawn. C'mon, you've trained for this.

They took off, heading for the rooftop of an apartment building. I took cover inside a jewelry shop, behind the counter, giving me some cover. I searched the nearby area with my telepathy.

Those two are Anna and Ted. Let's see - aha. I picked up a squad of Vitakarian soldiers. They were definitely responding to the destruction that my jetpack-wielding friends were probably causing. I found the squad leader, and got in his head. I tried to ignore the rush of memories in his head.

See, that's the thing about killing with telepaths. In a way, we have it the hardest. Telekines can just snap your neck, and not even give it much thought. Dynamo burns you to dust with overwhelming energy, Aegii can just slice you in half, and a teleporter can do something ridiculous like pour lava on you or send you into space.

But us telepaths - we had it hard, you see. We go into the enemy's head - see their memories, everything they are, what makes them them - and just end it. You end an entire life while witnessing it.

And that's what got to me about telepathy. You just saw too much. Geist told me not to focus on those memories, said to not get too attached. And while I understood him, there was a part of me that just - how do we say this - feels uneasy. Scared. Chilled.

I couldn't get it out of my head. I just couldn't. Killing Mutons and Sectoids was easy. They were just mindless brutes and machines, with the latter being just plain creepy. Andromedon minds were kind of weird, not a lot of emotion, and more...kind of mechanical. Still even when I did kill one, their suits were a bitch, so telepathy wouldn't totally take care of them.

So when I got into a Vitakarian mind, or any of the general races really, there was a part of me that just felt guilty. Seeing their families, friends, memories. I felt guilty killing them.

So I decided to try something different.

I searched around in his memories, trying to find something that could be useful - aha.

Ted. I got him. He's a Sargon, located in an office building on the corner of West and Fifteenth. Nineteenth floor. Be advised, he has a few Titans on his location.

"Copy Dawn. See if you can link up with us And next time, you don't have to use telepathy. Radio works." I blushed. Oh fuck.

"Sorry!" I turned my attention to the squad of Vitakarians. Let me see if I can do this. There were allied forces in the city, but they were a bit behind us, taking care of business. I got into the squad's heads.

Go to our lines. Put down your weapons and surrender. You will not be hurt. I felt them obey my commands, taking a different path.

Good. I moved on, following the Host's mark on my HUD. Well, that and the path of dead bodies they've left behind. I can hear fighting in the distance. I'm still passively feeling around for any enemies, and I couldn't feel any. I turned the corner, catching my teammates in the middle of mowing down a few Mutons. I focused my power on the few stranglers, dropping them.

"Dawn! There you are." Anna said. I nodded, acknowledging her.

"We're taking down that Sargon. Feel like joining us?" She had a joking tone in her voice.

"Um, sure." I tried to keep up with my flying teammates as fast as I could. Damn, they were fast. Why can't this armor have those again? That'd be awesome.

"You said he's got Titans, right?"

"Yeah. I can disable them with telepathy if you want."

"We've got Sierra. She can neutralize them. Use your telepathy to see if he can give us anything useful. So keep him alive, got it?"

"Understood!" I followed them down the block. We turned the corner, and immediately felt something.

"Enemies!" I yelled. "On the roof-" The top of the building exploded, as Sierra flew over it, hitting it with a CIF3 round, destroying the Mutons with heavy weapons on top.

"Watch it, Sierra! I don't want a trifluoride tan!"

"Sorry Dawn, but I only had one chance to kill them before they opened up on you. Anyway, there's a bunch of enemies on the Sargon's location. I'll give you some air cover as you link up with the other host."

"Roger, Sierra." Ted said. I followed him and Anna down the street. I felt something.

"Ted, Anna, there's a barricade on the next street. There's a few Sectoid Vanguard- ow!" They sensed me, beginning an attack. My armor's defenses did well, but fuck, those hurt.

"You alright, Dawn?" Anna asked, sounding quite concerned.

I waved her off, focusing on my defenses. Remember what Geist and Aegis taught you. For the wall around your mind, and keep it that way.

Remembering my training, I drew upon some of my power, shielding my teammate's minds from the oncoming pain.

"I'm-I'm good! Fuckin' hurts, though! You guys should be protected!"

We turned the corner, and I focused on the first two, killing them after several seconds while blowing a Muton's head off with my plasma rifle. Focus, breathe, shoot. Focus, breathe, shoot. Keep the grip. Ted and Anna laid down fire, mowing the rest of the Mutons and killing several Vanguards. One attempted to retreat, but I downed it with a headshot, shutting that down.

"Good work with that protection, Dawn." Ted acknowledged. "I didn't feel a thing." Thank you Ted, though what you said could so be taken out of context.

"Thanks. How close are we?"

"Very. Jim, what's your status?"

"Almost at your location. Enemy forces seem to be gathering around the office building. Has Dawn found anything?" Ted linked me to the other Archangel's radio.

"Uh, there's a lot of Titans. Seven, actually. Doesn't look like they have any anti-air weapons. Odd."

"Copy, Conley. Linking up with you guys now." The three other Archangels flew over us a second later, causing me to flinch. Jeez, those engines are loud. They landed right next to us. Sierra was...somewhere in the sky, probably doing overwatch.

"Alright, here's the plan. Sierra is going to hit the building from above, while we hit it from the front. Sending relevant data to your HUDs now." Ted looked at me. "Dawn, how good are you with data recollection?"

"You mean taking info from people's minds? Yeah, I'm pretty good at it."

"Excellent. Dawn. See if you can retrieve anything from the Sargon's mind."

"But, this is a sim, sir-"

"It may not be, but it's very possible you'll be doing something like it in real life." I nodded.

"Very well. I'm ready to begin."

"Alright, Archangels. Let's go."

They took off, heading towards the building, which was in the middle of a business park. Troops were grouped around the building, and we almost immediately began taking fire from ground forces. I detected several Runiararch snipers setting up shop on top, which I took care of with a sleep command. Before I could focus on the Sargon, the Titans began to charge.

"Titans! Take care of 'em!" Mark yelled.

"No! I've got them!" I called out.

I reached out, going into their minds, gathering my influence as I weaved between the cracks bringing them under my control. Through my mind, I projected my will.

So much power.

I could've killed them. Made them go insane and kill everyone around them. I could've slowly melted them, turning them into primordial gunk. I had the power to do it. It would have been so easy, like with a flick of a wrist. Psionics just made killing...so much easier. So much to do in one thought. A part of me wanted to kill them. Make these brainwashed brutes pay for all they've done.

They want to meet their gods? I'll send them to them myself. I began to think of the command. I felt their minds take the pain, their bodies twitching as they felt it ripple through them.

Wait, no! I don't have to...it's not right. I shouldn't be giving them this. There's another way. I could faintly hear my teammates talking, but I couldn't hear them. I was fully dedicated to these Titans. I could feel their pain, my power this close to ending them, once and forever. But I saw much more than just a beast, a creature stuck in a cave and trapped in a cult, brainwashed to worship false gods.

These were people, too. Victims in their own right. No choice but to follow blindly; living in ignorance, believing the unenlightened masses such as us had to be brought to heel, controlled by the collective consciousness of their own lies and deceit.

They had been through pain already.

And I was only giving them more.

What the hell was I doing?

Something different needed to be done. I focused, and projected my power again, my commands being obeyed as the massive creatures collapsed on their hands and knees, rolling over.

I opened my eyes, looking at my handiwork closely. The Titans were still, unmoving, yet quite alive. They would be easily captured later; a fate better than what I originally had in mind. I made sure to put in a command not to be so...violent when the inevitably awoke.

"Dawn...what did you just do?"

"They're asleep. Don't worry about them. Now, that Sargon…" I closed my eyes, and a moment later, he came tumbling out of the window, his body falling nineteen stories before hitting the concrete with a sickening thud. I walked over to his body, and touched his mind.

"He's got some troop movements in there. Let's see...there's quite a few Executioners and Heralds being gathered in the southwest corner of the city. Some Contamination Operatives, too."

"Good work, Dawn. Sierra?"

"Forces around you guys have been neutralized. Area's clear. Aaaannd….that's the sim." As soon as she said that, the area flickered around us, returning us to a blank room.

"Good work, everyone!" Ted said, and walked over to me, patting me on the shoulder. "Good job back there, Dawn. You're getting better, I can tell."

I smiled proudly. "Thank you."

"How about we take a break, and you can eat lunch with us. Then maybe another sim?"

I nodded. "Sounds like a plan!"

As we exited the Dreamscape, and moved towards the Mess Hall, Sierra stopped me, a question in her mechanical eyes. "Good job back there. But I need to ask. Why didn't you kill those guys when you had the chance to?"

I paused. "Because I didn't need to."

She raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"For Sectoids, Mutons, and Andromedons, it's easy enough for me to kill them, unless instructed to capture one. Mutons are basically beasts, Sectoids are emotionless drones, and Andromedons are just...weird." I paused. "But Vitakara, damnit are people too. They're not all monsters, Sierra. I'm giving them a chance when I tell them to surrender or sleep, so ADVENT can capture them without much conflict."

She crossed her arms. "You do realize you won't be able to save all of them, or that they aren't responsible for their choices?"

"Yeah." I grew a little quiet. "But they've been toyed with and lied to for their entire lives - and now they're fighting and dying in a war for reasons they can't even fathom. The least I can do is give them a chance, slim as it may be, to give a chance to live and learn the truth."

Her gaze softened. "Good luck, Dawn. But you're going to need more than that if you want to come out of this alive." She walked away, and I followed her. I knew she was right- I'd have to do much more. Maybe even kill more. That was something that was inevitable.

But I couldn't let the killing and power get to me.

That, in a way, was something that I feared even more than dying.

Dreamscape

6/9/17

I stood before Geist in the Dreamscape, my hands balled. I felt tense and worried, but a part of me felt ready.

"Today will be your first test. This is an indication of the progress you have achieved so far, and a measurement of what you have learned."

"Will it test my biopathy?"

"No." Geist answered. "Until you lower your time more significantly, it will not be tested like this. The additional purpose of this test is to see how you perform on the battlefield, and under pressure."

"So what's the objective? Do I have to survive? Take out a certain number of guys?"

"You will be put in a battle scenario and will have to engage the enemy. How you perform and how long you last will be recorded."

Ah. So it's a survival thing. Okay.

"Okay."

"You are anxious"

I tensed up.

"Yeah." My voice got a little quiet. "I don't want to fail. Make a fool of myself in front of you."

He nodded in understanding. "I am certain you will perform adequately. You have been progressing well, and you have taken admirable initiative in training with the Archangels. You are my student, Dawn. And I make sure that my students succeed, no matter if they are in XCOM or outside it." He patted my shoulder, then gestured to the door.

"Good luck."

He disappeared. I stared at the door, and my plasma rifle materialized into my hand.

Okay T'Leth. Let's dance.

I scanned for any nearby enemies. I don't detect any. Odd. I kicked the door aside, and moved through the hallway, rifle aimed, finger on the trigger. Focus, Dawn. Scan, move, aim, shoot. Pretend like this for real.

The building I was in looked like an apartment building. Still wasn't picking up any signatures, which was odd. Maybe-

A Custodian slammed through the wall across from me, and began opening fire. My shields took the hit, which gave me enough time to put a few shots in its chest, taking it out.

One down. Who knows how many left to go. That little jump scare got a jolt out of me, not gonna lie. I stepped over the burnt corpse, moving down the hallway until I reached a door. I felt some minds behind the door. Three of them. I move through the door into a balcony overlooking a lobby. There are three Cobrarians guarding the door, with two more Custodians on the stairwells, blocking the only ways down. Okay then.

I went into the mind of one of the Cobrarians, and a few seconds later, the snek charged the left Custodian, attacking it, while making the other two pass out. I fired on the right Custodian, taking its head off. I threw a symbiote grenade at the remaining two sneks, trapping them to the ground. I aimed. Two headshots. Boom. They went down.

I looked at the Cobrarian, who had taken down the Custodian, standing over its destroyed body. She was just staring at it, waiting for another command. I briefly looked at her. I knew she was just a sim, but parts of me kind of felt a little guilty, controlling someone like that, forcing them to do things against their will. It was a tactical necessity, yeah, but I would be lying if there wasn't a part of me that felt wrong doing it. Unlike a Muton or Sectoid, she had a choice. She was a person who would have a family or friends back home.

Sleep. I thought. She'll be taken as a prisoner later and learn the truth. The Cobrarian obeyed, curling up and dropping her weapon. Satisfied, I continued with the mission. I ran through the door, taking cover behind a car in the parking lot. A squad of Muton Elites were patrolling the street, looking for something.

I focused, scanning their minds for anything useful. Nothing. I executed them with a thought, and carefully moved down the street, taking cover behind cars and buildings. Looked like I was in a small town or something. A group of Floaters appeared, not initially noticing me. They seemed to be investigating the 'missing' patrol. I couldn't let them see me. I primed a plasma grenade, aimed, and threw it, sticking one. The explosion took out a couple, while I gunned down the rest, my enhanced reflexes and training kicked in.

A little messy, but not bad. The last one wasn't entirely dead; with both of its engines destroyed. It was wobbling around on the ground. Rather than shooting it, I stomped on it twice, crushing it under my armored boot, destroying it. I reloaded and moved on. As I moved on into a nearby car dealership, I heard a close thumping sound. I turned around, looking for the source-

A Berserker, roaring with fury broke through the wall-fuck! How the fuck did I miss that? I was too slow to react. It swiped at me, knocking the gun out of my hands and sent me flying through the glass wall, right into an SUV, heavily denting it. Pain shot through my body as I hit the concrete, trying to pick myself up. Fuck, I should've been more careful. The Berserker, roared, preparing to charge me again. I held up a hand, focusing my fury on it, killing it instantly.

Not today, bitch. Fuck, I was hurting. I tried to pick myself up, but my back hurt like a bitch. My legs worked okay, though I moved around the car, gripping the hood while looking for my gun. As I looked for it, I heard sounds of feet marching. I detected multiple minds - Andromedons. Contamination ones.

Fuck. If I get hit with enough of that toxic shit, I'm done.

I limped inside, trying to ignore the pain as much as I could. I noticed my gun, and grabbed it. I scooted myself behind a display, and took aim, counting the troops. Ten, three of them regular Andromedon troops. They were heading towards me. I checked my grenades; I had a few. My symbiotes were all there, maybe I could trap some.

Let's see.

I waited until they got close enough, then threw a symbiote grenade at them, trapping three. I killed those three with my mind, before throwing a plasma grenade, which hit one of their tanks, causing it to promptly rupture and explode. The acid sprayed all over the enemy force, melting through the tanks of those within the explosion radius, taking out a sizeable chunk as more suits and tanks ruptured. I turned my gun at one of the Containment Andromedons who'd managed to avoid the explosion. I sent another telepathic command towards him, killing him instantly.

I then sprayed his suit with plasma fire, downing the enemy for good. I reloaded...fuck! I was on my last mag. Fucking Berserker displaced my ammo. I needed another weapon soon. I looked at what was left. Three Andromedons, one severely wounded, limping. I fired at him first, downing him, before I used my psionics to end him. The other two began throwing grenades. My body was still weak, but I moved to the left, the grenades overreaching and turning the wall behind me to ash.

Alright, fish tanks, this has gone on for long enough. I killed the two with telepathy, and there a plasma grenade at each- my gun's out of ammo, and the grenades did their job well enough- the suits burnt to scrap. What a rush, damn.

Then I turned my head. A grenade, close to me.

Boom. The explosion sent shockwaves of pain through my body, knocking me back a bit. A stinging pain flowed through my left side and arm. I had trouble moving my left hand.

"Gaaaaah!" I moaned with pain, dragging myself out of the dealership. Fuck, it hurts. I gritted my teeth, trying to hold back the pain. My skin was protected, but it burnt. My armor on the left side was chipped and scratched. I was definitely bleeding, somewhere. The shields took some damage, but the shielding on it was damaged, the left part of the shield was flickering.

I subtly limped out of the dealership - what was left of it, anyway. I need a gun. The Andromedon ones were too damaged, and no way I'm going anywhere near that sludge acid shit. I moved along, looking for more targets, and another weapon. The pain was better, but shit, it hurt. I made my way down the road, searching for hostiles. I picked up a squad of Vitakara - Borealians in the parking lot nearby.

I was impatient, and needed help. Pain flowed through my veins, and I was angry. I killed them with a thought, and picked up a plasma rifle and some clips. I picked up something else- shit.

A line of Titans were walking down the street, wielding gargantuan hammers and shields- towards me.

You fucking with me now, Geist? Or do you just want to watch me get killed. Ah, fuck it.

The leader charged, wielding dual-wielding hammers, roared a battle cry, and charged at me. I focused on his mind, my internal grip and anger building up.

You wanna feel pain? C'mon. Show me what you got. I got in his head, and gave him an order - charge, but not at me; his comrades. He smashed one's head in, and wailed on the others' arm. Die, stone fuckers.

I fired my plasma rifle at another, emptying half a clip into her head before she went down. My right arm was doing okay, but my aim was wobbly. I pulled myself ahead, as I watched my coworker murder his friends, trying to ignore the pain. I executed another with my mind, just as the controlled Titan mashed another's' head with his two hammers. The remaining one caught a lucky break and used his body mass to trip him before he smashed his head in like a game of sadistic Whack-A-Mole.

Then, it was just us two. I stared, panting at the Oyariah as he began to charge. I aimed my fun, firing and firing at the charging mass of stone, faith, and fury. The pain was distracting- I couldn't focus as he got closer and closer C'mon, c'mon, think! Focus, you-

The club hit me on the right side. Bones and my arm snapped. I cried out with pain as I was sent flying-again- into another wall. This time, I felt almost dead.

But not dead enough. I roared, pushing the pain and fury through my veins into my mind, all focused on Fuckface who began to charge me again.

The anger and pain swelled within me, condensing into something ugly. Hatred. Despair. Rage. I looked at him, screaming, and focused everything I had on him, going as deep as I could. I didn't care. The rush was too great to resist. I ignored the memories and pushed, pushed like my life actually depended on it.

Kill him. Reduce him to nothing. Make him feel your wrath. He is nothing. You are something!

My hands balled.

The layer broke under my will. The cards collapsed as my will utterly destroyed it.

Die.

I am death.

You are nothing.

His head melted, causing his body to go limp and die. I chuckled, spitting some blood over my HUD.

"What's next?" I yelled. "What's next!" The sim ended right then and there, me lying all sore on the Dreamscape floor as Geist stood over me. My body was fine, but the pain lingered and lingered.

"Well done," he said with a nod. "You should be proud of yourself."

The praise normally would have been amazing to hear, but right now, I was just tired.

"I need a fucking nap."

Entertainment Room 5, Praesidium

6/10/17

Reflecting on my previous test, I sat on an admittedly comfy chair, holding the controller, leaning back, soda and various unhealthy snacks on the table as I stared at the screen, blasting away generic bad guys. It was a nice setup if you ask me. I played video games before joining the Priests, and the kind of money that could buy this setup, much less twelve of them. And this was only one entertainment room.

They were nice as far as comforts went- nice, soft, chairs, TVs, consoles, board games, cards, almost anything to keep an army of alien-killing badasses occupied. If my friends saw this...hoo boy, they'd probably kill to get access to this. It was any teenager's wet dream. Did I mention the cabinets and fridges loaded with enough food and drinks to keep us fed? Oh yeah, there was beer. Had I tried it? No. There wasn't an age restriction, anyway. I doubt the designers anticipated a teenage girl trying to nab their precious stash of beer.

All that there was was a 'drink responsibly' poster next to it, and a camera aimed right at the fridge, probably to scare off any nighttime snack raids. A part of me wanted to try one, just for kicks, but I didn't know if there'd be any consequences. A drunk psion didn't exactly scream safe to me.

As I chomped down on a chip, a human guy and Vitakarian woman, both wearing science uniforms, entered the room. They were laughing and smiling, probably coworkers. Vitakarians in particular were interesting - they just looked so human. Taller, greyer, and no hair of course, but those glowing eyes were cool. They had five fingers and toes, just like us- even their nose looked similar.

Of course, an alien-looking human (woman in particular) meant that inevitably, someone was going to make...depictions of them. Some of which I unfortunately laid my eyes upon when browsing the Internet post-Australia. I was kinda surprised ADVENT didn't censor it. While in the insanity, I could understand why, due to their human-like similarities, it was still a bit off-putting.

Then she kissed him.

Oh my, things were getting interesting.

Did I care if someone was attracted to aliens? No, not really, as long as such a relationship was consensual and both parties truly liked and loved one another. Could I blame them? No. She looked really similar to a human chick. Hell, if I was a dude, I'd probably find her somewhat attractive.

I'd come to learn that xenophobia wasn't exactly something that was good at making relations between species. If you want to hate aliens, hate the Ethereals. Well, that was my logic. Anyway. Without them, I doubt any of the other races would have invaded Earth. Blind hatred doesn't exactly get you anywhere. My grandpa fought and bled so hate like that wouldn't rise again.

"Um...hi." They both looked at me. "Sorry, but if you want some privacy, I'll uh...go somewhere else."

They both looked at each other for a minute, then the Vitakarian woman spoke up first. "We do not require privacy. My boyfriend here was simply going to show me one of your video-games. Ah, I think it was called Dumb-"

"You mean DOOM?"

Boyfriend. Huh. The guy blushed.

"Honey, you don't-" I waved him off.

"It's fine. I'm not weirded out or anything. If you're into aliens, that's cool." Yeah, my friend is too, but we're not gonna talk about that unless you want to be mentally tortured for hours. Who knows? Maybe XCOM Intelligence could use it as a tool for torture. The guy just looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, how old are you?"

"Nineteen. I'm a biopath."

"So we have those now. Huh." The guy lowered his eyebrow. "How long have you been here?"

"About two months. You?"

"One and a half years. We're both in Research and Development. We helped build the plasma grenades."

"I designed the trigger mechanism." The Vitakarian says proudly.

"No way! You built that!? That's so cool! My friends use those all the time!" More raised eyebrows from the guy.

"You've been in combat?"

"No, Dreamscape. But I will eventually. Still getting ready for killing people and all that." Jeez Dawn, could you sound any more morbid? I extended a hand. "I'm Dawn Conley." The guy reluctantly took it.

"Jareth Barion. And this is my...girlfriend-"

"Sala'calintha'valian. It's nice to meet you!" She piped up.

"Soo, if you don't mind me asking, how did you two exactly meet?"

"Oh! It's a funny story!" She said with a smile. "See, a while ago, we had finished this large project. I'd helped a lot with the energy management on it, so Jareth was nice enough to invite me! I had never been to a human party before, so I gave into my intrigue and said yes! It was so fun, Noisy and loud too, but that's something you humans seem to be good at!"

"I consumed come of your 'chocolate', felt a little odd, and asked him if he wanted to have sexual intercourse-"

"Ahem. I think you've told her enough details, Cali." He put his hand on her shoulder, blushing.

"I'm sorry. I am still getting used to-you know - being around humans. You people look so much like us, yet so different. And very nice."

"So." Jareth coughed. "And since then, Cali and I are...together. Well, one really can't go on dates here, but yeah. We're together, and, well, we like each other a lot."

"He's nice! He's intelligent and funny, but I love the hair! I don't know how you humans manage it! It's so funny, especially when you guys color it! It's so soft!"

Well, she certainly liked humans. Weird obsession with hair, but not too different from some of my classmates. She would've gone crazy if she saw the shit Brenda did with her hair. She was a bitch, but she knew how to make her hair look good.

"And uh, what do you like about her?"

"Well, she uh…" He coughed. "She's nice, smart - very different from a lot of people I know. More empathetic. A little naive, but we're working on that. Truth be told, she's just...really sweet. She cares a lot - not just me, but a lot of the engineering teams. Being around her has shown us that not all aliens are bad, y'know?"

She slowly took his hand. "Jareth-"

"And in the end, she's a good person. She's told us all about life back on Vitakar, how no one there knows about this war. How nice the place is, how innocent her people truly are. Maybe, when this whole war is over, she can go back there and help her people move on from the...horrible things the Ethereals have done to them. And maybe…" He took her other hand. "Maybe we can, too." She smiled, looking at him.

Awwwwww.

"That's so sweet!" Had more material and potential than any relationship I'd seen in high school by far. "Wait, this is all, like, allowed? Right?" Not sure if "Alien Romance" was covered in the rulebook.

"Yes. It's allowed."

"Thankfully." She said, grinning.

"So, do you have like, a relationship plan or something? I mean, there's going to be people in this world- a lot of them who won't approve of this." I wasn't one of them, but I was curious. He nodded, a bit glumly.

"We know. But it's quite legal. We're staying together right now, but if this whole war thing moves off Earth, and it becomes safer, we're thinking about getting a real place to live. My house is still standing, last time I checked."

"That is, if I fit through the doorways. Might need to have a whole new one built just for me." She said. They both chuckled.

"Does your family know about this?" I asked Jareth.

"No. I've been quiet about it. I'm not sure how they'd react, honestly. So I'm not telling them about us right now. But everyone else on my team is okay with it, so there's that."

"Well, that's a start. I can kind of relate with that. My parents weren't exactly happy with me coming here. We still love each other, but still…" I paused. "It's kinda rough."

"I know how that feels," Calintha said. "I have not spoken to my family in a long time. Too long. Your XCOM Intelligence gives me intel updates every week, but it's not the same." She looked down, sad. "I miss them."

I felt her pain. Knowing your family was still alive, yet the uncertainty about her was serious. At least my parents knew I was alive and well. For all I knew, the Zararch told her family she was some kind of traitor. But she wasn't. At least in my eyes, she wasn't. She was a sensible and moral being just like us, doing the right thing for her people, using her mind and skills to do her part, just like me or any other soldier or scientist here.

"I'm sorry you feel like that." I said. "I'm sure you'll meet them again one day. Maybe you can reconcile things."

"Perhaps. Though that ultimately is a 'long shot', as you say. It may happen one day, if I do not die. But, for now, I can help my people the best they can, even if it means some of them will be killed."

Was that directed at me?

But for now, I didn't respond to that. I sure as shit had killed aliens, and I definitely would. How many and how was a talk for another day.

"Well, I'm really happy for you two. It's really nice that you guys show that humans and aliens can come together and be happy and romantic."

Godammit Dawn, don't fucking say it that way! Do you have any idea how sexual that sounds? Luckily, they didn't seem to catch the accidental innuendo.

"Thank you...what was your name again?" Calintha said.

"Dawn Conley. It's been a pleasure meeting you two. Now, about that game you mentioned…"

Elevator, Praesidium- 11:06 AM

6/11/17

I got into the elevator, hitting the 'down' button to get some food.

"Hold that for me would you, Dawn?" I turned, noticing the Commander coming my way. Wide-eyed, I hit the 'open' button, giving him time to get in. I start to snap to attention, but he interrupts me.

"Not necessary, Miss Conley. I appreciate the gesture, but that is not necessary at this time."

"Yes, sir." I composed myself, and we both stood quietly in the elevator. Awkward.

"I saw the outcome of your test. I'm impressed."

"Thank you, sir. I do my best." Oh god, he's right here? What do I say? How do I act? This is the Commander we're talking about, after all. I put up an awkward smile. "Just doing my part for the cause, sir!"

"You don't have to call me sir all the time. Commander will do."

I nodded. "Sorry. I...I just feel a little uncomfortable….sir."

"And why is that?" I gulped. "You can be honest."

"Are you sure you want me to be honest?"

"I would prefer my soldiers to speak up when they have questions or doubts," he said. "The battlefield isn't a place for second-guessing or doubting yourself - or what you're fighting for. Even if that means questioning some of the decisions I might make."

"I was watching some combat footage recently, and I was watching the Chad mission. The ones with the Hades Contingency. The one you participated in sir. I've read about it, though seeing it in action was admittedly disturbing sir." I swallowed, heart pounding. "Killing civilians...they hadn't done anything wrong. I mean, I can kinda understand killing their leader - he did agree to join the SAS after all. But is really killing all of those people necessary sir? And with Chyrssalids of all things?" I paused. He looked at me, and nodded once.

"I'm not trying to criticize you or anything." My anxiety was going through the roof right now. I shouldn't have said that to him. He was probably angry at me for even bringing it up. "It's just...it's really off-putting. I know we're defending humanity and all, and have its best interests in mind. But is that kind of killing really necessary?"

He seemed to consider what I'd just said. He didn't even seem angry, and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I don't mind criticism, Dawn. That helps leaders get better - and more importantly, I understand your concern. I don't blame how you feel. It's natural. You're young, and don't have much experience with this. How about we discuss this in my office?"

"Sure thing."

Commander's Office

Several Minutes Later

I sat down in the chair in front of his desk, as he sat down and cleared some stuff off his death that was probably "I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you" levels of classified.

"So Dawn, you were asking about the Hades Contingency?"

"Yes. If I must be honest sir - I'm concerned about the ah, tactics used. I understand targeting the leadership. But civilians, sir? I don't know, it just seems...messy."

"It is messy," he said grimly. "It is horrific. It's good that actions like the Hades Contingency are repulsive to you. They are and always will be."

"Then..."

He lifted a hand. "But indulge me for a moment, Dawn. Let's switch places - you know that several nations are about to join the SAS. They will likely be heavily augmented, and lead to a prolonged African conflict with potentially more deaths of ADVENT and XCOM alike. Removing the leadership will leave the infrastructure intact, and could potentially lead to a full alien takeover. This will happen within days. Diplomacy has failed, and they don't know that we know their plans. What do you do, Dawn?"

"If I was in a place like yours, I'd cut the head off the snake if I had to. No leadership to make decisions like that, no decision that could hurt us can be made at all."

A nod. "And what then? Is ADVENT close enough to invade and occupy the whole country? Was the entire chain of command eliminated, or only the leadership?

"An occupation would be too invasive. Too obvious, then." I said. "The chaos could easily disrupt them."

"'Invasive' is less of an issue than other factors. Logistics, manpower, positioning. The ultimate point, Dawn, is that there are several major factors to consider in this conflict. How many lives can be saved, and how many must be sacrificed to save more. If our attack had been...sanitized. Pinpointed solely on the leaders, then the SAS would march in, mobilize an enraged populace, and turn them against ADVENT."

He laced his fingers together. "The SAS will still invade. But they will be inheriting a country which distrusts them. Which is confused, leaderless, and afraid. The SAS will be forced to either devote resources to stabilize the country or ignore it. And both of those...benefit us. ADVENT. XCOM. That is one less country attacking us, or SAS soldiers shooting at our own. It's less civilians who are being pressed into service to die for an alien cause."

He apprised me. "And that is one reason we exist, Dawn. Our mandate is to do whatever it takes to protect Humanity, even if some of our own is sacrificed in the process. It is not easy. It is painful to rationalize. People will try to justify it. They shouldn't. There is no way to make what we have done or will do good. We should never delude ourselves into believing it is."

A pause, as he pursed his lips. "But what I do want people to understand, how to accept what they do, is know why they did it. I do not authorize the Hades Contingency lightly. I do not authorize the deliberate murder of civilians and heads of state lightly. But I do believe that what I did was necessary. Does that answer your question satisfactorily, Dawn?"

I considered what he had just said. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. It's not pretty, but I suppose it's true. You have to do what you have to do. If you want to deny the SAS some territory and subjects, it works. Can't say it's perfect, but it works." I sighed. "Then again, we're helping the Nulorian who bomb schools and hospitals."

I snorted sarcastically

"It's not ideal, but the Nulorian are also a necessity," the Commander said grimly. "We have no support on the planet on our own, and the Nulorian are that. They are ruthless because that is what they have been forced to become under the Zararch. It doesn't absolve their actions any more than our own, but there is a mindset to understand. They are radical in many ways, but their worst impulses can be tempered. I've made it clear to Miridian that only so much will be tolerated."

"Oh. Well, that makes it sound a little less worse. We already have enough genocidal maniacs running around."

"The Nulorian do not want to make XCOM their enemy," the Commander allowed a thin, humorless smile. "We know too much for them to risk now - for better or worse. But until they cross that line, they are an ally and will be treated as such." He looked at me. "I know some of this is not what you might have been expecting, Dawn, but do you understand now?"

I gulped. "Sir, I understand. I trust your judgement in stuff like this. America did some fucked up shit to get where it was before ADVENT, and I wouldn't be surprised if XCOM had to meddle in stuff even worse than that to keep us afloat. Some of it I may not like, but if gets our shit done- well, so be it, then."

"Good. That is all I ask."

"Thanks. Can I uh, ask one more thing?"

"Of course."

"How...difficult was it when you guys brought up the idea of recruiting me? I imagine it was a weird conversation."

"No. Unusual, but no more so than several other unique individuals we have recruited. You have the capabilities and mindset that we were comfortable presenting the option to you. And based on how you've adapted and trained, you will prove to be a valuable addition to XCOM."

"That's good." I sighed. I still felt kind of uneasy, and it showed.

"You're worried, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Specifically?"

"The killing, sir. Especially with my psionics."

He appraised her, lacing his fingers together. "Patricia."

"Sorry?"

"You don't want to end up like Patricia."

"Yeah," I admitted. "I'm afraid of my power, sir. I'm afraid I'm going to get too 'into it', if you get my meaning, and...enjoy it all. The suffering and pain I can do with it - the amount of people I can kill or make go insane - even mind control. I feel like I'll get overwhelmed by it. Or worse. I'll enjoy it, and end up like...her."

"I can understand that," his tone took on a reflectful tone. "All too well, I'm afraid. But there is something to understand about Patricia, Dawn. Power wasn't her downfall. It was something much more fundamental, intrinsic." He pursed his lips. "Ultimately, she was susceptible to argument. To twisted logic. The Imperator didn't tempt Patricia with power, he convinced her to join him because she believed he was right."

He gave a small smile. "I understand your worry about abusing your power. It is reassuring from someone your age. But if you want to know how you do not become like Patricia, Dawn? You need to know why you are fighting - and be prepared when someone comes along and tries to convince you otherwise."

He lifted a hand. "I don't know if Geist has had this conversation with you. But the worst mistake you could make is to believe you will never fall. That you will never be tempted to walk away or even betray your friends. People have their weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Some have emotional weaknesses, others psychological. But they exist."

A short pause followed. "In some cases, people are unlucky enough for their strengths to also be their weaknesses. Patricia fell into this group, and I didn't see that at the time. Patricia is one of the smartest women I've worked with. One of the most logical. Both of which were turned against her."

He looked at me. "Do you know your own weaknesses, Dawn?"

"Well, Commander, my obvious lack of experience. And my age." I shrugged. "I'm still getting used to all of this." I waved my hand, referring to XCOM. "I mean, I got answers to stuff about this war, yeah. I've taken most of it in stride, but when I get deployed into actual combat where death means you're done for good, I'm worried I'll mess up. Panic maybe, forget to reload, send the wrong psionic command - fuck, maybe even blowing myself up with a grenade, like that one time in the Dreamscape. I'm afraid of messing up, sir. But I want to be better."

"And if I am understanding you on a deeper level correctly, you are still not sure of yourself. You're not confident."

"That's true sir. I'm working on it, but it's gonna take time. I just want to be ready when you and the Internal Council approve me. Some parts of me are still kind of surprised I even ended up here. But I'm not complaining. I'm proud, no doubt about it. I'm just being cautious, really. One half of me think I'm worrying too much, while the other thinks I'm worrying too little."

"That's an answer, but it's a surface-level one," he looked at me closely. "Confidence will come to you, I have no doubt. But a weakness is something that can't be changed as easily through practice, shooting a gun, or killing aliens. You might not even believe it is a weakness. Ask yourself what you want, Dawn, and you will find what can be used against you."

He leaned back in his chair. "Patricia wanted to use her power to protect Humanity from whatever threatened it. She believed it was the Imperator who was the greatest threat. He turned that noble belief against her. Patricia truly believes she is fighting to save Humanity, even if to us it couldn't be further from the truth. And it was because she didn't know what she was weak to, and her convictions and beliefs she never truly developed arguments for. Do you see where I am going with this, Dawn?

I nodded again. "I think so. It was how she thought and operated that made her turn. Granted, I'm a teenager and haven't really figured myself out yet, but...fuck, that's something. I knew it was bad, but I didn't know it was that bad."

"So long as you understand this. Take some time to think about it, and how you'll react if you're in a situation where you are challenged - truly challenged - as to what you really believe," he leaned forward again. "Do that, and you will not become Patricia. And from what I've seen, you will be prepared if that decision ever faces you."

"Thank you, sir. It means a lot."

"Of course, Dawn. How do you feel?"

"I feel better. Much more comfortable."

"Good," he glanced at his computer screen. "Unfortunately, I have a meeting soon, so this meeting has to be ended."

"Okay. That's fine, Commander." I stood up to leave.

"My door is always open, Dawn."

As I left, I felt relieved.

But something still felt wrong.

To be continued in Chapter 6:

The Ties That Bind Us