TMNT: Lullabye for You

Ch.2~ Changes Beat

I smiled as Raphael practiced with the punching bag. The leg braces Donatello and Michelangelo found back then have helped him a great deal. He was able to train again though I modified his training a bit. His style would be more focused on his upper body and he had taken to it well.

In the past three years, all of my sons have grown, but I am most proud of Raphael. After the accident and the damage to his legs, I feared it would be too hard for him to recover and that he may give up. But he did not. He was such a strong boy; he worked hard to get to where he was now.

Leonardo walked into the dojo and bowed to me before he walked over to Raphael. The duo began to chat and I found myself frowning a bit. With age came changes.

Now that they were thirteen I knew it was time to talk with them about something.

(Leo's POV)

My face felt hot as I sat kneeling before Father with my brothers. So these feelings I was having towards Raph… He told us that since we were all still young he wanted us to keep these feelings to ourselves. He said once we turned eighteen we could discuss things with him further.

I turned my head to peek at my brothers.

Don looked unfazed, most likely he had done some research before today. I mean he has been learning a lot of medicine and stuff. He had taken over most of the doctor duties from Father by now. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised he would know this. He was always curious by nature.

Mikey, well he was, bright red. His posture was stiff as a board as he looked down into his lap. This was more expected. Mikey was the most immature out of us, so hearing all this. Well, it was probably embarrassing and shocking.

Now Raph, I swallowed thickly as I saw his slightly flushed face. He was shifting a bit seeming uncomfortable. I could see him occasionally pinch his thighs. He always did that when he was nervous. I found my gaze trailing up his thighs before I forced my gaze away.

"Today we are going to the dump. All of you are now at the age where you will need your own space. So we will get new beds and clean out some of the empty rooms." Splinter explained, I turned my gaze up.

Separate rooms. I peeked at Raph, he was gripping his thighs tightly. He was scared. I wanted to speak up but I didn't want to say something about his nightmares in front of Don and Mikey. He only confided in me about the nightmares he had from the accident.

Father waved us off, Mikey practically bolted out, Don followed after, and slowly I watched Raph get up and walk out. Father looked at me confused as I stayed where I was. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before sitting up straight.

"What is it, my son?" he asked, I bowed my head.

"Raph he… Raph isn't ready to be on his own." I stated.

"This is not up for debate my son."

"I know Father but, he still has nightmares…"

"Nightmares?"

"Since the accident, he's had nightmares, not every night but… He won't calm down unless I hold him…"

"I see… I will put him in the room closest to yours."

"But."

"Leonardo. Do you know why we had this chat today?"

"Because of our age?"

"Yes, but not just that… I have seen how you and Raphael behave. Both of you are too young for such things. You cannot be with Raphael as you have been. It's time you both learned to exist apart."

"Yes Father…"

(Raph's POV)

I sat on my bed staring at the ceiling, sleep wouldn't come. I patted beside me and frowned at the emptiness. Leo wasn't with me. He's always been with me. Without him here… I felt alone. I felt scared. I grabbed my pillow hugging it to my chest.

I buried my face in the pillow, I smiled a bit as it smelled like him. Not surprising since it had been in our bed. I inhaled the scents as I closed my eyes. My body felt weird, I squirmed as I hugged the pillow tighter.

Was this feeling what Father had been talking about?

Tentatively I reached my hand down to my crotch and I felt something wet. Pulling my hand back I hugged the pillow tighter.

Why was my body doing this?

(Later)

I screamed into my pillow in frustration as I felt the wetness again. My whole body felt hot. Father had ordered me to remain in my room as this stupid heat thing ran its course. I buried my face into my pillow as I caught the fainter smell of Leo. My heat rose as more wetness pooled between my thighs.

I felt sick as I remembered the revelation I had when this whole thing started. Down there I wasn't a boy. This thing leaking wetness everywhere was not what I should have. I was boy damn it. Why did my body have this stupid wet thing?

I growled in frustration as my body had somehow found another way to betray me.

I curled up in the bed as I cried.

This wasn't me.

This wasn't me!

"My son, I brought you some dinner," Father stated from the other side of my door.

"I'm not hungry, please just leave me alone," I replied.

"I will bring you up some rice porridge and tea later then." Father said, "I am here if you need me, my son."

I listened as his cane hit the floor as he walked away from my door. I smiled a bit. Father still called me son. I was still his son even like this…

(Splinter's POV)

I smiled as Raphael ate his porridge, it seemed his heat was dying down. I brought him a basin with water and a few cloths so he could wipe himself off. His appetite had died down for a few days which worried me. It seems he was returning to his normal self.

"Can I…" he began, I looked to see he was tearing up. "Can I still be your son?"

"Of course, you are my son for as long as you wish," I replied, he seemed relieved. "All I ask is that you live your life as happily as you can."

I watched my son sob like a weight had been lifted from him. I rose to my feet and walked to his bedside and carefully rubbed his head. He leaned in and I carefully hugged him. I could feel his tears wetting my robe as I rubbed his head soothingly.

"I love you, my son, never doubt that." I hushed.

Out of all my sons, Raphael has always been the most sensitive, even if he did not seem so. I knew he cared deeply, he wore his heart on his sleeve. I was proud to have such a loyal and warm son. I just wish that he could save some of that warmth for himself.

(Raph's POV)

I stood just outside Leo's room, I was hesitant to knock. My heart was still pounding in my chest from the nightmare that woke me up. I was leaning into the crutch Don made as I stared at the door. I wanted Leo, I did but…

My body felt warm.

I should go back to my room. Turning a pain shot up from my knee and I couldn't help the pained sound that left my mouth. I leaned into the wall, as tears of pain pricked my eyes.

"Raph?" Leo asked.

I blushed a bit as he gently pulled me close, I squeaked a bit in surprise as he picked me up I looked down at him as he shot me an apologetic look. I felt that warm feeling building as he carried me into his room. I was relieved when he sat me down on his bed and took a seat beside me.

"Nightmare?" he asked, I nodded. "You know you can wake me up, right?"

"I'm getting too old to keep doing this…" I muttered, he cupped my cheek pulling my gaze to meet his.

"You'll never be too old to come to me when you're upset. You're my precious little brother, I will be here for you no matter our age." he soothed.

I nodded and leaned forward into him, he wrapped me in a warm hug. Soon he pulled me down to lay in bed with him. I felt warm as I buried my face into his plastron. He moved a bit and I felt the blanket being pulled up over us.

Why does Leo make me feel so warm?

(Leo's POV)

I smiled softly as I watched Raph wrestle Mikey for the remote. It was good to have him back, but something changed in him. I couldn't put my finger on it but he seemed different. Master said Raph was having a rut and that we needed to leave him be. Had that been what changed?

"You're staring," Don stated, I jumped a bit as Don stood at the counter pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"What? I wasn't staring." I lied, Don looked annoyed as he took a sip from his mug.

"Sure you weren't." Don muttered, "Mikey and Raph may not be as observant so you can fool them. But not me. I know you like Raph, and I know you know that Father forbade us to act on this kind of thing."

"It's… Something about him seems different…"

"He's the first one to enter a rut, so yeah he's different. Hormones will change him, and us."

"I know that it's just…"

"Weird?"

"Kinda. More like it's different and I guess I'm not used to it."

"You will. We all will. Now go train or something, he's gonna notice if you just stare at him all day."

I watched as Don walked off back to his room which I guess was turning more into a lab. I think I saw him tinkering with something in there earlier. I took one last glance at Raph and Mikey before heading to the dojo. Maybe some practice will distract me.

(Raph's POV)

Leo has been training way more than usual. If he wasn't meditating he was training. It was a little overboard and not his style. Something must be bothering him. I moved from my spot and headed toward the dojo.

I watched as Leo performed his sword Kata's, each move flowed seamlessly into the next. I could see the sweat dripping down his neck and arms. That warm feeling began to settle inside me and quickly shook it off.

Focus Raphael.

"So what's got your bandana's in a twist?" I asked as I entered the dojo.

Leo froze mid-kata and slowly moved to sheath his swords I could see his skin glistening. Before I could shake off the feeling he was standing in front of me. I blushed as he looked down at me, that look, my legs feel weak suddenly. He leaned over and I could feel his breath on my neck. A full body shiver hit and I felt my legs give out.

That seemed to bring Leo out of whatever that was as he quickly caught me. I looked up at him as he looked flustered. He gently helped me sit down and I felt his touch linger a bit before he pulled away. He carefully sat down beside me.

"Sorry." he apologized, I could feel my heart still racing in my chest. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"More surprised, that wasn't like you… All this training isn't like you either. Are you okay?"

"I… I think I should go."

I watched as Leo got up and left the dojo, I wanted to follow but my legs wouldn't cooperate. I still felt like my head was spinning and my heart was racing.

What happened?

I need to go find him.

But…

Damn it, legs work!

(Leo's POV)

The loud splashing made me return to reality. I peeked out from the nook I hid in. My eyes widened as I saw Raph racing into the junction, he was looking around in a panic tears building in his eyes. Soon he spotted me and he looked relieved as his legs gave out from under him.

I ran over and knelt in front of him as I heard his ragged breathing. He looked at me relieved as his hand went up to cup my cheek. I felt tears well as I realized he had been chasing after me. How long had he been searching?

"Found you." he joked still sounding breathless.

"I'm sorry…" I apologized.

"Don't. Just don't." Raph muttered and leaned his head into my shoulder.

I nodded and just wrapped my arms around him holding him close. I could hear him focusing on catching his breath. It hurt a bit that he had exerted himself so much because of me. I shouldn't have run off.

A sudden splash caught my attention, I turned and I saw what looked like a red dot on the bricks. My heart jumped into my throat. I felt Raph lift his head followed by a gasp.

I dragged Raph to his feet and began to pull him down the opposite tunnel. It didn't take long for his legs to give out and he fell making a loud splash. I could hear the source of the lights discussing the sound. I reached down and picked up Raph and began to run again.

I need to get us away from here. But I can't just run home, I can't lead them there. I could hear the splash behind us as I raced down the tunnels. Taking a sharp turn I slid on something under my foot and slammed into the wall.

I fell collapsed and groaned, my vision blurred as I heard a ringing sound. I felt Raph pull himself up using the wall. I went to reach for him but my head began to throb forcing me to close my eyes. Opening my eyes I watched as Raph began to run toward our pursuers.

No!

Wait!

(Raph's POV)

My legs burned but I refused to let these people find Leo. Soon I saw who had been following us. Humans, and were those guns? Upon seeing me I saw them begin to aim, I jumped up and hauled myself up onto a pipe, and raced across it. Jumping behind them I ran down the tunnel they had just come from. Turning I found I practically ran into a second group of men.

A sharp hot pain hit me in my shoulder and I felt my legs give in and I collapsed. Grabbing my shoulder I could feel the wet stickiness that must be blood. A kick landed on my chin and knocked me down into the sewage. Before I could try and get up a foot slammed into my shell sending me down.

I could hear my heartbeat ringing in my head as I struggled against the hands that were trying to restrain me. Soon I felt something around my wrist and another click on my other wrist. I tugged and realized my hands were trapped behind my shell.

No…

Please Leo; don't let them find the others…