Cynthia once again makes her way back to her cabin, where Lillian was still, her mind is all over the place.
"Ah, you're back Mrs," Lillian says, she's currently tidying the sitting room up a bit. "How was your walk?"
"Oh, fine, yeah it was fine," Cynthia said quickly, "Is there anything you want to do, you know outside of the cabin?"
"Oh, well now that you mention it," Lillian said thoughtfully, "I wouldn't mind going for a walk myself."
"That's great" Cynthia continues, sort of ushering Lillian towards the door, "Plenty of places around here that you can explore."
"Well, I guess…W-would you be needing anything?"
"No, not at the moment, but If I do I'll be sure to come find you, ok."
"Alright Mrs," And then Lillian was out the door and Cynthia watched her turn the corner, then she shut the door leaning back into it. In all honesty, perhaps she could have been less insistent that Lillian left the cabin, but she knew she needed to be alone if she wanted to use her phone as she pulled it out from her handbag. She was about to turn it on and make another recording again when a thought came to her. I might need it later, like if I'm able to get a call out or something, I can't risk using all my phone power on it and have it die on me. I should only use it unless absolutely necessary.
She looked around, Maybe I could write it down instead, she thought as she began to rummage around the room, through drawers and cabinets trying to find any sheets of paper and a pen.. Eventually, she finds a pile of papers in a drawer, all of them have the white star line logo at the top and Cynthia quickly sits down at the table and begins to write.
"Hey Mom, I think it's best that I write these down instead of recording them. Don't know when I might need my phone next. I don't know, I feel like I'm at a crossroads right now with what I think I should do-"
Cynthia looked down at what she wrote, puzzled. Not because of what she had been writing, but by the handwriting itself.
That's not how I write, She thought, She knew what her handwriting was like, her handwriting looked a bit more messy, and she usually joined the letters up with each other and varied with how big the letters were. But the writing on the paper, the writing she just wrote was small and tidy. She blinked at it, confused.
She then grabbed another page and just began to write words, anything to try and write has usually done. But it kept coming back the same, the same handwriting. Breakfast, ship, Titanic, Beach.
Why am I writing like this? She thought, looking down at the pen. I feel like Ive seen it before. Maybe she did, but she couldn't remember. And then an Idea of what this could be fell to her. Is this Maybelle's handwriting? Is this how she writes?
It was maybe the only possible answer she could come to, she didn't know how possession worked, especially when it came to humans. Perhaps, Cynthia thought, that since she was in Maybelle's body she could only do her handwriting. That does make sense though.
She continued her letter to her mum.
"Even my handwriting is different, I think might have something to do with me being in Maybelle's body, maybe its some kind of instinct, I'm not really sure. That's not the point though. I'm just not sure if I should even get off at Cherbourg tonight, I mean, I don't even know what I'd do once I get their ive got no money, no place to stay. I don't even know how I would explain it to Lillian (oh yeah, she's my maid) about getting off the ship at such notice or without any real explanation as to why we're getting off. I don't even know if getting off will somehow get me home ."
Cynthia looks down at what she's written, thinking. What should she do then? There's still no real answer to what she's written. I need to think about this more she thought, but where?
And then she remembered something. There was a reading and writing room in first class, if she remembered correctly, it was near the grand staircase was. At least there she could try and think about it some more.
She wrote on the paper again.
"I'm gonna go to the reading and writing room and try to think this through more. I'll come back and finish this off once I figure out what I'm gonna do."
She then gently folds the letter and puts it into her handbag, and she heads out again down the corridors towards the elevators, where she takes it up to A deck and continues along the corridors, as she does she catches a glance of the entrance to the Grand staircase. She wants to stop and go in there, and go down those stairs and look up at the glass dome. But she shakes her head and continues on until she finally makes it to the reading and writing room.
The room itself was quite large, with plenty of desks, seats and chairs around, with large glass windows which showed the outside world.
Cynthia walked around as she eventually found a desk to it and sat down. As she did, she glanced over at the people around her, most prominently women, many of whom were either reading or writing. Maybe I should find something to read? She thought and got up and walked over to one of the small bookshelves. Her eyes scanned around for anything to read, but nothing at her was really reaching out to her, or anything she may have recognised. Except one book, which she pulled out and looked at the cover; "The Secret Garden."
She remembered watching the film when she was a child, she knew it was based on a book, but she had never read it before. So she took the book with her back to her desk. She relaxes a bit in her seat as she opened the first pages and began to read. As she kept reading turning the page, she felt much more at ease with herself.
She ended up reading for about 2 hours when her eyes start to feel heavy, she blinks a few times, putting the book on the desk and her mind once again finds itself back to why she had come here in the first place.
I still don't even know how or why I'm even in 1912. But I don't think it's really important right now, not really.
When I woke up, I was in the car about to board the ship. That was also where Maybelle's journey to America began. I could have come from any other time, I could have come a few days earlier or a few days before, but it was exactly before she was about to board. That was the point that I came here from.
So then maybe, the only way for me to get home, back to my time would be at the end of Maybelle's journey, which is when she reaches New York. So maybe if I get Maybelle to New York, I may be able to return home. Maybe, heck I don't even know if that will even work. She sighed, even if she wasn't sure, it was better than her plans were, getting off at Cherbourg alone with nowhere to go. She closed the book and pushed it away from her, her eyes glanced over to some paper and pens that were close by.
Without really thinking, she grabbed at them and began to draw along the edge of one of the papers. She drew diamond-shaped stars on the corners, hearts and even some small frogs. Her mind dwells elsewhere, towards the ship mostly as she begins to draw the ship. In the end, it looked a bit bulky as Cynthia added the waves and then, without really thinking added the Statue of Liberty and what looked like a bit of New York City. She stared at her picture, she squinted her eyes at her drawing of the Statue of Liberty, as her fingers were various on different sizes and didn't look like they were holding her torch and her face looked very cartoonish.
Despite that there is a sort of pained sadness that she feels looking at it, knowing that Titanic never made it to New York, it never crossed paths with the Statue of Liberty and the people who were waiting for her arrival would never get to see her.
But it could.
The thought came to Cynthia slowly and she thought more about it.
No, I couldn't eb able to do that, could I? I mean, I know what's going to happen, no one else does, not the captain, not the designer, not a single passenger knows what's going to happen, except me. I know what's going to happen, I what will happen and I can use that.
She smiled and as she picked up her drawing and quickly made her way out of the writing room and towards her cabin. Yes, I know what I'm doing now, she thought as she entered her cabin, and pulled her letter out again and began to write.
"I thought about it more Mum and I think I know now how I may be able to get home. I came here just before Maybelle was about to board, at the start of her journey, I could have gotten here a day before or even a day after she boarded, but I didn't I came here right before she boarded. So I think that the only way I can get back home to you all is by completing Maybelle's journey and getting her to New York. I'm not sure if that makes sense while I'm writing this, but I'll be sure to explain it better to you when I see you guys."
"Also Ive made up my mind on something else. I'm not gonna just sit around and wait for that iceberg to hit. I've gotta do something, anything I can to try and stop it from happening. I have to right? I mean I know what's going to happen, I know exactly what's about to transpire. Even if I can't stop it, I can try to help, I can save more people. I can't just turn around and act like everything is fine. I just can't."
"I'm gonna find my way back home to you guys, I don't care how long I'll take I'm gonna get off this ship alive and I'll be the first person to time travel back from the past."
She laughed as she wrote.
"I'll write more about what's happening tomorrow. Love you heaps, Cynthia."
She relaxes a bit in her chair as she looks down at her letter as she picks it up and carries it into her room, where she folds it neatly and puts it into the first drawer and closes it.
Cynthia sighed happily, she felt much calmer about her current situation, much more than she did earlier and much happier. She looked around, wondering what she should do now. Maybe I should go check on Lillian, she thought and once again for the fifth time that day, Cynthia left the cabin and headed up towards the boat deck. As she walks along, she keeps passing the lifeboats which she couldn't help but stare at as she gently grazes her hand along the outside of it.
To think maybe she might have to be on one of these in a few days she thought bitterly, but she knew deep down that if she managed to succeed in what she wanted to do, then no will ever board them, at least not on this maiden voyage.
Where is Lillian? Cynthia thought, looking around a bit, and for some reason, Cynthia began to wonder whether looking for her was the best idea. She didn't know why, as Lillian didn't seem to be the type, but she couldn't help but remember now Rachel Natalie and Bethan were at the cafe. Their laughing faces kept coming back into her mind as she thought it. And then came the image of Lillian, hiding her mouth as she talked to some people, in her head she could hear Lillian say in a highly irritating voice, "Oh yes, My master is actually a full-on weirdo, keeps spacing out like she's got no clue where she is."
She didn't know why she was caring so much about what she could be saying about her, It's not like I know her, I just met her today. But… she's been so nice to me still, even if she doesn't realise I'm not Maybelle.
Yet the image of her laughing at Cynthia was still hurting her, it was enough that she felt like her eyes were going to become watery soon. Until-
"Mrs Cornell?"
She turned around and saw to her surprise, Lillian was walking up towards her, and she wasn't alone, there was another woman, dressed similarly to her and looked close to her age with curly dark brown hair.
"Oh hey," Cynthia says casually when they are closer enough to hear her, "How's it going?"
Lillia looks a bit taken aback by Cynthia's casualness, "Well, it's been wonderful, I've had the most extraordinary time exploring the ship."
Cynthia couldn't help but smile as Lillian talked.
"Oh, was there anything that you needed from me Mrs?" Lillian asked suddenly.
"Oh no, I was wondering what you were getting up to."
"Oh," Lillian then gestured to the woman next to her, "Umm, this is Trudy Brock Mrs."
"Hey," Cynthia said, reaching her hand out, "Nice to meet you."
"Pleasure to meet you Mrs," Trudy says, smiling politely.
"We met while she was finishing unpacking her master's belongings" Lillian explained, "She agreed to join me exploring the ship once she was no longer needed."
"Ah, so how are you finding the ship so far?" Cynthia asks Trudy. Trudy found herself unable to contain the smile on her face.
"Oh, she's incredible Mrs, I can't believe how new everything is."
"Yes," Cynthia agreed, "She's really beautiful."
Cynthia was then about to ask Trudy just who were masters were when a loud, trumpet-like sound echoes around. Everyone around them sort of looked around a bit before they started to head off. That's supposed to mean something, Cynthia thought, But what was it?
"Is it nearly time for dinner already?" Lillian said, surprised. She then came closer to Cynthia. "We should start to get you ready Mrs."
Dinner? How late has it gotten? She thought as Lillian quickly said goodbye to Trudy, as did Cynthia before they went their separate ways as Lillian and Cynthia returned to the cabin.
There, they immediately went back into Cynthia's bedroom where Lillian helped Cynthia out of her green dress and put her into a much tighter corset, as Cynthia put down her camera on the dressing table. There, she helped Cynthia into a purple dress, which looked much more formal than the green dress. Then she took out Cynthia's hair again and neatly put it back into a tidy bun, with a purple hairclip with a purple and gold heart on it at the back. Cynthia also from the trinket put on a matching purple necklace along with some pearl earrings and changed her shoes to some magenta-coloured pumps.
All of this took about an hour and a half to do as Cynthia finally put on a pair of black gloves and grabbed a small purple handbag. Cynthia couldn't help but stare at herself in the mirror, at the dress. It was so beautiful, so were most of the dresses she had worn before, but this one, it was just beautiful. It was the only word she found herself thinking about.
"Is there anything else you need done Mrs?" Lillian asks.
"No," Cynthia says breathlessly, 'Everything's fine." She glances over to the door, heading towards it to leave again. She looks over to Lillian, who hasn't changed into anything.
"Where are you going to eat?" Cynthia asked.
"There's a dining saloon for the first-class maids and servants. I'll head there once I'm about ready."
"Ok then," Cynthia said, "Have a good night then."
"Thank you, Mrs, you as well."
And Cynthia left the cabin again and headed up to the elevators. She was finally going to see the Grand Staircase. She went up to A deck again and went the way she came before, except this time she headed towards one of the doorways to the staircase. A steward was on the other side of the door and as she approached, he opened the door for her.
"Good evening Mrs," He said as Cynthia slowly walked past, Cynthia looked at him, nerves were now filling her stomach. She moved inside as the Steward closed the glass wooden door behind her Cynthia fiddles a bit with her handbag, and then she looked ahead.
And there it was, The Grand Staircase.
She moved quickly to the banister and looked down, there were a couple of first-class passengers just like her, dressed in their finest gowns and tuxes. She had only ever seen this place in photos, and even then they weren't even from the Titanic, they were from Olympics.
Everything around her looked so intricate with detail, she can't believe that somehow she was standing here, looking at it.
Her eyes then went up to the glass dome above her, completely white. It looks so beautiful to Cynthia. But then as she thought of it, she couldn't help remembering the images she had seen of the wreck. In those, the dome is completely gone, and so are most of the stairs, covered entirely with coral and fauna from the sea. The image stayed in Cynthia's head, she knew if she stayed around, people would find it odd. And so, she made her way down the stairs, as she did, she held one hand onto the railing as she slowly and cautiously descended the staircase.
Once there, she walks away a bit from the staircase and stops to lean against one of the wooden pillars. She glances over at the other passengers, most of if not all the women are in the arms of men as they head down presumably towards the dining saloon. Do I need a partner to escort me to dinner? She thought, Is that some kind of social etiquette thing here in first class? She kept looking around.
Pearl and that did say that I could have dinner with them, she remembered, But where are they? She looks around slightly. Maybe their already seated, and Cynthia began to walk towards the lounge, along with the other people.
"You dining with anyone this evening Mrs?"
Cynthia turned around and found a young man with blondish hair standing there, wearing much like other men were; a suit.
Cynthia blinked, and he seemed to notice her confusion.
"Sorry, it's just that you looked a bit lost, So I thought-"
"Yeah, yeah I guess I am a bit," Cynthia cut him off gently, her eyes glanced over to the other passengers, "I met some people earlier today who offered to have dinner with me, but I haven't seen them yet."
"I see, then perhaps I could be of some assistance then."
"Really, how?"
The man sort of looked around.
"Well, I could escort you down to dinner, and help you look for your friends."
Friends, Cynthia thought the word stuck a bit. For now, at least, that was surely true.
"Alright then, thanks." Cynthia smiled.
The man then held out his hand.
"Lawrence Bosworth," He said warmly.
Cynthia then shook his hand also.
"Maybelle Cornell. But I'm known and preferred to be called Cynthia Thorntell."
Lawrence let out a laugh and smile, as he gently brought up Cynthia's gloved hand and kissed it.
Cynthia let a surprised "ah" sort of noise as Lawrence puts her hand down, smiling at her. He then offers his arm to her, and Cynthia took it smiling a bit more as the two of them followed along with the other passengers.
Following the other passengers, Cynthia and Lawrence started to gown the staircase to the lower decks. As they did, they passed some of the passengers who were just coming from Cherbourg.
Cynthia stopped walking and looked at them, her eyes sort of glossy. Lawrence seemed to notice.
"Is there something wrong?"
"No, It's just… before I wanted to get off the ship at Cherbourg…"
"Oh really? What for?"
"I guess I thought it was I needed to get off."
"Oh yeah? What changed your mind then?"
"I feel like I was needed here. I'm not really sure…"
Lawrence stared at her for a bit, "Well then it must be a good thing you stayed because you met me."
Cynthia laughed.
"I think it's the other way around."
"Oh really huh?"
It was Lawrence's turn to laugh. He smiled as they continued to walk, as there were Cynthia's eyes suddenly locked onto one of the passengers who just came by, a much older woman dressed elegantly like everyone else. But Cynthia recognised this woman, for she one was of the most famous and well-known survivors of the Titanic; Margret "Molly" Brown.
Her eyes light up. That's her, that's actually her. That's right, she came from Cherbourg. I can't believe she just passed me. I wonder if I'll get to talk to her later.
Lawrence must have noticed Cynthia's star-struck expression as she kept fangirling internally, because he then asked, "Do you know that woman?"
Cynthia then remembered where she was as she turned her head to look at him.
"No I don't," Cynthia said plainly, "But I feel like she's going to go places, you know?"
Lawrence stared at her for a moment, before they started to move again down the stairs until they eventually made it to the reception room. There were still plenty of people standing around, many of whom were in pairs talking to others like them, laughing and chatting away.
"Do you see any of your friends?" Lawrence whispered to her.
"I'm not sure, they may have gone and sat down already…"
"Well we might as well go around, maybe we'll find them then."
"Yeah," was all Cynthia could say as Lawrence moved them both along.
And so they started to go around with Lawrence introducing Cynthia to some of the passengers, to which she would just introduce herself s Cynthia, she somehow knew that they may night find the Maybelle joke funny. The people around her seem nice enough, at least from what Cynthia could tell, there wasn't any hint to them that they knew she wasn't acting like them like she was an imposter. It brought her some relief as they made their way through most of the room and entered the dining saloon.
The dining saloon itself was huge, most of it was filled with tables and chairs, all of varying sizes with flower centrepieces and tablecloths. The room seemed to go on for a while, as Cynthia looked around, there were still some people standing around while most were already sitting down in their seats, as servers and waiters walked around, many of them pouring champagne into the passenger's glasses.
Cynthia kept glancing around as they moved along, there was still no sign of Pearl and the others, and she started to feel a bit more anxious as she started to squeeze Lawrence's arm. He looked down at her, his eyes softened a bit.
"I'm sure they're around here somewhere, this ship is pretty big."
Cynthia nodded slightly, and once again her dreary thoughts of Rachel and the others came back. But just as they appeared, Cynthia put them aside.
"So, who are you having dinner with?"
"Oh, some of my old friends from university and their wives respectively."
"Ah."
As they were walking, Cynthia's eyes found themselves stuck on a large table. There were only a few people on it, around 6 or 7, yet her eyes found themselves on two people in particular. A woman, much older than Cynthia who could have very much been her mother who had red curly hair and sitting to the left of her, was presumably her daughter.
Her daughter, who to Cynthia looked fairly close in age to her had her red hair put up neatly into an updo, she wore a cream-coloured black dress with an orange rose on the centre. Cynthia stared at her, the red-haired girl's expression looked… bored, almost like she didn't want to be there. She turned to her mother and looked like she was trying to talk to her, but her mother didn't seem to notice as she was talking to the woman next to her, who looked similar to her age.
She does not look like she's having fun, Cynthia thought and her eyes move just a bit from that table, one that was close by, and that's when she saw them.
Pearl, Naomi and Marie were all sitting at a table together, they had a couple of people already at their table, but there were a few seats left. Cyntha's eyes lit up slightly. Oh thank god they are here, she thought, as she nudged to Lawrence.
"There they are, they're over at that table."
"What table?"
"That one there." And Cynthia gently pointed it out. Lawrence's eyes followed to the table Cynthia was pointing him as Cynthia watched him, and then his eyes seemed to light up a bit.
"Ah Pearl and that, yes I know them."
"You do?"
"Yeah, that's actually the table I'm supposed to be having dinner with."
"Oh."
The two then began to make their way to the table, as they were, Marie turned away from Pearl and Naomi and her eyes met Cynthia's. Her eyes went wide a bit and she smiled, she then said something to the others and they took stopped and looked up. Cynthia didn't know what to do as all three of them then got up from their seats as Cynthia made their way to her.
"You made it, how are you?" Marie said, taking Cynthia's hand and shaking it.
"Yeah... I'm fine-"
Marie then pulled her in and kissed her on the cheek, Cynthia sort of froze for a second, and then she remembered, Wait this is how women greet each other during this time, and quickly also pecked Marie on the cheek.
"You look amazing tonight," Marie said as she pulled away, looking down at Cynthia's dress.
"Oh yeah, thank you, you too."
"We thought you weren't gonna make it, "Pearl said.
"Oh well you know, figured I might as well."
Cynthia then glanced over to Lawrence;
"Oh This is Lawrence but I think he told me he already-"
"Oh Lawrence, so good to see you," Naomi said, going over and shaking his hand, "We didn't know you were bringing Cynthia with you."
"Neither did I apparently," Then he smiled at Cynthia as they took their seats, Lawrence sat on the right side of Cynthia and Marie sat down on the other side.
The other people at the table notice Cynthia and Lawrence's arrival as Marie and Pearl introduce them.
"Cynthia, those two over there are my Mother and father," Marie said, gesturing to an older couple sitting a few seats away.
"Pleasure to meet you both,"
"Good evening Mrs, Marie's told us a lot about you."
"Glad to hear it." Cynthia smiled.
"Florence, Samuel?" Naomi said, looking at two people a boy and a girl who looked very similar to her who sat two seats away from her, "This is Cynthia Thorntell, remember?"
"Oh hi, Pleasure to meet you," the girl presumably Florence.
"How do you do?" That was all Samuel said.
"Good, thank you."
Pearl then nudged the man sitting next to her, who had dark brown hair.
"Darling? I'd like you to meet Cynthia Thorntell," Pearl said, gesturing to Cynthia. He turned and looked at Cynthia,
"Richard Birdwell, nice to meet you."
"Thank you, you too."
And then everyone began to chat with each other, though mostly it seemed to be whoever it was next to them.
"I'm really glad you came here," Marie said to Cynthia.
"Yeah me too," She said, though there were still some doubts in her head, Was this the best choice to stay here?
"So how have you found the accommodations, Cynthia?" Mairie's mother asked, Cynthia looked up at her, then around as it now seemed everyone was interested in their conversation.
"Y-yeah, it's been pretty good so far." She then smiled, as Marie's parents sort of looked at their daughter.
"Yes, Cynthia here is actually travelling alone in First Class," She said, smiling as the others listened, "We actually met early today during tea and has surprisingly taken in the hobby of photography."
"Oh really?" One of the men at the table said.
"Quite remarkable."
"Hmm."
Most of the men seemed to have a sort of perplexed expression but then smiled.
"And how long have you been doing that for?" One of the men asked.
"About since I was 10."
"Really? That young?"
"Yeah… My da- my father really wanted for me to continue his love for photography."
"Interesting."
Richard blinked a few times looking at Cynthia, almost thinking about what he was going to say, and then he said it.
"Ah yes, Pearl mentioned to me earlier that your husband, Eugine, he used to work with me."
Cynthia stared at him, this seems to be becoming a regular topic here, she thought.
"He was a good man him, very hard-working and I'd just like to say how sorry I am for your loss."
"Oh it's fine," Cynthia said earnestly.
"Oh yes I heard about that, it must have been awful," Marie's mother said.
"It's so unfortunate."
"Out deepest condolences."
"Please it's quite alright," Cynthia said, sort of smiling. But now she felt a bit irritated. They really seem to care a lot about my husband huh? Wait am I saying? He's not even my husband, he was Maybelle's I'm not even married!
"But thank you," Cynthia said to Richard, trying to figure out what she should say, "It's been difficult for sure. But, I'm still going strong and keeping at it."
Cynthia's eyes keep looking around, This conversation is quickly going still, so let's try and change the subject.
"So I heard that you and Marie were in Europe for a wedding," Cynthia said, trying to sound confident.
"Ahh yes, my daughter-in-law, Megan, it was wonderful the reception was everyone I wanted it to be. Though I would say the food could have had a little more work put into it."
Cynthia smiled, it seemed like they were finally moving away from her husband who was not hers.
"You look like you've managed to do well for yourself since then," One of the other women said at the table, everyone looked at her as Cynthia felt like twitching her eye. I'm trying to move the conversation, what are you doing?
"Yes, Yes I have," Cynthia fake smiled, "But I've managed pretty well, anyways how was that-"
"But it's only been what 6 months? You've managed to pull yourself up pretty well."
Seriously? Why are you so obsessed with my dead husband? He's not even my husband!
Cynthia glanced around at the table, some of the men were looking at her, waiting for whatever she was going to say, Pearl, Naomi and Marie looked at her somewhat anxiously, and some of the older women didn't look happy, almost looking at her disapprovingly. Cynthia tried to smile, but she wasn't really getting why was being given those looks.
Are they really that unhappy that I'm happy? Seriously? Is this what Maybelle had to deal with on a daily basis? Just constantly being judged by how she's feeling about things? This is ridiculous.
"Yes, Well I've managed so well because that's what my husband would have wanted from me," Cynthia said quickly, trying to recompose herself. "I mean, He said too many times while we were married that if anything was to happen to him that he would want for me to keep going, to be happy and not be so stuck with what happened." She then looked around once again, "So, that's what I've been doing."
"Well said Cynthia," Pearl said, nodding to Cynthia, Cynthia smiled, Please, for the god, please take the hint.
Just then, some of the waiters came round and began offering Oysters along with some cooked salmon and other such light meals. It was as the waiter put the Salmon and Oysters on her plate that she now noticed her first conundrum of dinner.
Right beside her place were multiple forks and knives, all of them were different sizes, her eyes looked down at them puzzled. Which ones am I supposed to use? She looked over at Lawrence, who had picked up the fork and knife from the outside and began eating. Ah ok, she thought, and quickly took her outer knife and fork, but not before she took her gloves off and placed them gently under her seat. She then took out the knife and the piece of bread that was sitting beside her plate and began to butter it. As she begins to take a few bites out of it, the waiters come back, this time bringing soup bowls with them which Cynthia leans back so they can place it on her plate.
One of the waiters had a platter of some black stuff and a spoon.
"And how do you take caviar Mrs?" He asked her.
Oh, that's caviar, she realised, "Yes please," She said without really thinking as the waiter places it on her plate. She looked down at it, she had never had caviar before, not once in her life. Can't believe that I'm gonna have caviar, Cynthia thought as she picked up her fork and scooped up a bit. I wonder what it tastes like, she thought as she brought her fork up to her mouth and put it in her mouth.
Immediately the strong taste hits her, her skin crawling slightly as she reaches over and grabs one of the napkins on the table and tries to wipe her mouth with it. Argh, nope, not having that again, she thought as she moved on to eating her soup. As she's eating, she glances over to the left of her, where Marie is talking to both Naiomi and Florence;
"I managed to win a couple of matches, honestly it's quite remarkable they have a squash court on this ship."
Cynthia smiled as she took a couple of sips from her soup, her eyes finding themselves at the tables around them. Everyone around them seems to be focused on their own tables, chatting and eating away, with some passengers still arriving at their tables. That was when Cynthia saw an older man, at least a decade or two older than her passing tables, some of who he chatted with and shooks hands with and Cynthia's eyes widened at him.
He was well dressed much like the men at dinner tonight, but Cynthia recognised him anywhere as Cynthia watched him sit down at presumably his table. Cynthia of course like Molly before, know exactly who this man was. He was no survivor of what was to come, but he was still regardless seen as a hero by all who had the chance to have met him standing a few tables away, the man that Cynthia watched with wide eyes was none other than Thomas Andrews; The ship's head designer.
I can't believe that's him, he looks so young, Cynthia thought, I can't believe I'm in the same room as Thomas Andrews, how crazy is that?
Marie had stopped talking to Florence and Pearl and had noticed Cynthia's gaze away from the table.
"Is there someone you recognise?' Marie whispered and Cynthia snapped out of her gaze and looked at her.
"Who is that man?"Marie asked, looking at Thomas.
"That's Thomas Andrews," Cynthia whispered back excitedly, "He's the ship's designer."
Lawrence, who seemed to be listening to the conversation also turned and looked over at Thomas's table.
"I didn't know the designer of ship would be travelling with us," Lawrence said thoughtfully.
As Cynthia stares at him, she can't help but once again think about the disaster, of how this beautiful ship that he had helped design, that he had helped to build becomes a part of the north Atlantic ocean. The fact that he goes down with it. It wasn't his fault what was going to happen, he did everything he could right and it still failed him.
"He also designed the Olympic," Cynthia said, trying to move away from the thoughts she was having, "And the SS Normadic and The Britanic."
"You seem to know a lot about ships don't you?" Marie said. Cynthia turned her head and looked at her, looking for her expression, any sign that she was being sarcastic or something similar to that nature. But there was none, only of genuine interest.
The conversation went away from Thomas Andrews as they continued to eat, with more and more waiters coming with more meals. Cynthia can already tell that she's soon going to be full, who knew that there would have been so many courses?
"So what kind of photos do you take?" Lawrence asked her as he took a bite out of some roasted carrots.
"Usually landscapes, if not then some of my family and some of my friends."
"Ah, it must be very difficult carrying all that equipment around, don't you have someone to help you."
"Oh It's not heavy, it's actually very small," Cynthia explained and she put her hands out into a small square, 'It's about this big, I honestly take it most places I go."
"That small? It must be impossible for you to see what you photographing then?"
"No, I can see quite clearly, and the photos come out pretty clear, in colour as well."
"Wait in colour? I don't think ive ever heard of it, they should have asked you to photograph the ship and then, have them print your coloured photos."
Cynthia laughed at this.
"The photos don't come out that big, I don't think they'd be able to print them out in the newspapers."
"Well then they'll just have to add a disclosure to the newspapers; 'please view with a magnifying glass,' You'd bring up the market value of magnifying glasses then."
Cynthia laughed yet again, holding her hand just her mouth to try and muffle her laughter, some of the passengers noticed, but then went back to their conversation.
"I'm sorry," she said, now giggling a bit, "Don't think Ive heard anyone say that about my photos."
"Well, they must be good if you're taking them. I wouldn't midn seeing them if you didn't mind."
"Maybe," Cynthia said, mockingly tapping one finger to her chin, "I'll have a think about it."
"Alright then," Lawrence chuckled.
More courses came along, and Cynthia lost count f how many they had been on, maybe 5 or 6, when she once again, looked over at the other tables, in which she found herself looking at the table she saw before, the one with the red-haired girl, and that's when she noticed.
About half of the table was empty, there looked only to be about 7 maybe 8 people at the table, with the rest of the seats were empty.
Where is the rest of them? Cynthia thought, looking over at the empty chairs. Lawrence seemed to notice Cynthia's staring yet again.
"What's wrong?"
"That table over there is half empty," She then gently gestured to it, "It's like half of their party didn't even show up."
Lawrence looked to where Cynthia was pointing to and he to looked at the empty seats.
"Oh yes, that is strange," he said.
Marie also seemed to have heard their conversation and had also noticed the table.
"Maybe the rest of their party went to the À la Carte Restaurant, i saw a couple of passengers going there on my way here."
"But surely then they would have discussed their plans with them beforehand, wouldn't they?" Cynthia said.
"It's a big ship," Marie said thoughtfully, "I'm sure communications must go wary somewhere."
"So what were you doing before during these last months Cynthia?" Someone on the table asked. Cynthia, Lawrence and Marie turned their heads back to their table.
"Oh, I was travelling abroad," Cynthia said.
"Oh really? Where was it?"
"Just to Germany, Sweden, you know those places."
Unbeknownst to Cynthia, her words had gotten the attention of one of the men at the table Cynthia was just looking at, an older man. He turned his head as he listened in.
"Interesting, did you see anything while you were there?"
"Yes, I went to the Storkyrkan Cathedra, really beautiful place completely gorgeous and I went to the Brandenburg Gate. Definitely took a lot of photos while I was there."
"Remarkable, how long were you there for?" Pearl asked.
"A couple of weeks, we took a… ferry, yeah I ferry to both of them," Cynthia said, she knew she couldn't have said how she really had gotten their, which was by plane.
"Oh really? Did you travel alone?"
"Well-"
"Excuse me Mrs," Came a booming voice from behind, Cynthia jumped in her skin as she quickly shot her head around, the people on the table that Cynthia was looking at just before were now looking at her, and all of the others on Cynthia's table looked also, confused at the sudden disturbance.
"Yes you Mrs," The older man called out again, Cynthia knew who this man was, he was Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon but right now Cynthia's mind was going all over the place, a sense of dread was now coming over her as her heart beat in and out of her chest.
What have I done? What did I do? I'm just trying to survive dinner and people are just calling me out, what does he want? Have I said something shouldn't have? Am I not supposed to say I travel because I'm a women? Is that it?
"Is it true what you said, about travelling abroad?" He asked. Everyone was now looking at her, Cynthia's eyes kept shooting at everyone, still thinking of what she should say.
"Y-yes sir," She said, trying to sound composed, looking straight at him.
"I see, and did you do it alone? It would have been quite a frightful experience to be travelling abroad alone with no knowledge of where you're going."
Cynthia blinked at his question, trying to think of what she should say, glancing over at Marie and Lawrence. She gulped and began to speak.
"Well, I wasn't necessarily by myself when I was out travelling, and I mean I knew where I was going, I knew where I was going and even if I didn't I knew that there was surely someone around me who could help me find my way."
She glances around at the table, her heart still pumping in and out of her chest. Please tell me that was the right thing to say, she thought nervously. As her eyes looked over at the table, her eyes found themselves on the red-haired girl who like everyone else at her table was now looking at her, and their eyes meet. Her blue eyes with Cynthia's green ones.
She didn't look at her like other guests, with puzzlement and something leaning towards disapproval, there was something else there, genuine interest and intrigue. Cynthia blinked a few times before her gaze went back to Gordon.
He didn't get to speak, however, as Lawrence spoke first.
"Ah yes, Everyone here loves a bit of travelling, I believe that's the reason we're all travelling right now aren't we?"
Immediately, both tables collectively laugh together as they slowly turn back to the usual chatter. Cynthia still feels a bit on edge as she tries to finish eating her roasted potatoes.
"You alright?" Marie asked gently.
"Oh yeah, yeah I'm fine, was just surprised that's all," She gently turned to Lawrence and smiled at him, "Thanks…"
"Oh well, that's what I'm best known for, defusing any situation, my parents say theirs still some use for that somewhere."
The three of them laughed and sure enough Cynthia felt more calmer as dinner went on. A couple of courses later, they were now just waiting for dessert.
"So what are you planning to do after dinner?" Cynthia asked Lawrence.
"Well, presumably the smoking room, pretty sure they're something worth discussing with the gentlemen then."
"I see."
"What about you then? You going to stay here with the women?"
"Well depends on if they're good company then? Maybe something with while discussing?"
Lawrence laughed.
"You know if you keep this up, I'm not going to be able to breathe," He said through his laughs.
Cynthia smiled, showing her teeth a bit as she did, she turned her head over and glanced over at the room again, as she did she could see Gordon getting out of his seat and heading towards their table. Immediately Cynthia's heart went back to pumping in and out of her chest as her eyes looked wildly around, hoping for some kind of intervention of any kind. There wasn't as he stopped just over their table. He looked down at Cynthia, almost a smile o his face as he looked around at Marie and Lawrence and at the few people that were around them.
'Good evening everyone," He said warmly, he then looked back down at Cynthia. "Good evening Mrs," He said in the same tone.
"Good evening?" Cynthia said in a someone high tone, not sure where this conversation was going to lead.
"Yes, I must say that I am terribly sorry about before," He said somewhat genuinely, "I'd just happened to overhear your conversation and it did indeed peak my interest."
"Oh," Cynthia said relieved, Oh thank god I'm not in trouble, "Oh it's fine honestly, really."
"Yes.." He then looks down at Cynthia's dress, "I do believe that my wife mentioned the dress you are wearing was one of her designs."
It is?
"Yes I believe so," Cynthia said proudly, she wasn't even sure if it was true, but it was better than saying no.
"She thought so, oh but where are my manners," He then pulled out his hand, "Sir Cosmo Duff-Gordon, and you are Mrs?"
"Cynthia Thorntell," She said shaking his hand.
"Splendid," he said smiling, "then perhaps now you and the rest of your party will join us for dessert?"
Cynthia blinked at him, "I do insist, it's the least I can do as my apology to you."
"Umm, sure if you insist," Cynthia said, still unsure to what she was agreeing to. She looked to Lawrence, who was standing up. Everyone at the table looked at him.
"It seems that there is a change of plans everyone. It seems that we will be moving tables."
Immediately chatter came about the table as Lawrence and a couple of others started to stand up
"Right now? But we've been sitting here all night."
"But isn't dessert not that far away?"
"But what about dessert?"
"I'm sure we can arrange for our food to be delivered to our new table," Lawrence said Marie's mother as they all made their way to the other table. Cynthia grabbed her gloves from under her as she stood up and moved to the other table.
Most of the people from her table had already gone and taken their seats in the unoccupied ones, as Cynthia slowly made her way to the other table. Lawrence and Marie had already taken their seats and were on the other side. So the only seat that was close to her was the one next to the red-haired girl.
Cynthia slowly made her way up to the seat next to her, as she does, the red-haired girl looks up at her.
"Is it alright if I sit here?" Cynthia asked.
"Oh, yes, it's fine."
Cynthia gave her a smile as she sat down.
"Sorry about all this, didn't mean to have a coup on your table," Cynthia said jokingly. The red-haired girl laughed, smiling for the first time at Cynthia.
"It's fine honestly," She said, now giggling, "Most of our party has been a no-show as is."
"Does that happen regularly?"
"Not really, at least I don't think so, they could have gone somewhere else for dinner. I don't know, I guess I haven't really gotten a good size how big this ship is yet." The red-haired girl sighed a bit, glancing down at her empty plate.
"Well, I can tell you from what I've seen she's pretty big, and we're on this ship for at least a couple of days, I'm sure in that time you'll get to see how big it is."
The girl laughs again and Cynthia's gaze at her softened. She then turned her body more towards her and pulled out her hand to her.
"Cynthia Thorntell," She introduced herself smiling, "But I'm also known to be called Maybelle Cornell."
The red-haired girl chuckled as she took Cynthia's hand, shaking it.
"Rose Dewitt Bukater."
Cynthia smiled warmly at her as dessert was finally benign brought out. One of the waiters brought out a fancy bowl of vanilla ice cream which made Cynthia's eyes light up. I'm having ice cream on the Titanic, she thought happily as she grabbed her spoon and began to eat. Rose dessert came soon after; a chocolate eclair and she too started to eat as well.
"So is it true?" Rose asked after she took a few bites.
"What is?"
"That you travelled abroad?"
"Oh yeah, definitely, went to Sweeden and Germany. Great places."
"And… you did it alone?"
Cynthia paused as she took another spoonful of her ice cream into her mouth.
"No, I wasn't alone when I went, I was with frie…"
She was with Rachel, Bethan and Natalie. It had been a couple of months ago, they had taken so many photos while they were together, they were still in the photo album which was back in Cynthia's room. They're not my friends.
"Strangers," Cynthia continued, gaining her momentum, "Yeah complete strangers, didn't really know them."
"Really?" Rose asked surprised.
"Yeah.. didn't really know them that well at all, but we manage to have fun, or at least I did. We managed to get around well enough knowing some of the languages."
"So.. did your husband go with you or did he stay at home?
Cynthia thought for a moment, at this point, she felt a bit exhausted about talking and acting like she had a husband when she clearly didn't. I'm done pretending like I'm actually a widow, I'm already sick to death of everyone trying to console me about it. There's no point in trying to act like I'm something I'm not.
"Oh I don't have a husband," Cynthia said simply, "I'm single."
She looked at Rose, who looked confused, almost like she wasn't sure what to say.
"Oh? I see…"
Their was almost a sense of envy in her voice as Rose's eyes glanced over to one of the men on the other side of the table, chatting to Sir Gordon, a somewhat smug-looking man with black hair. Cynthia glanced over to him and looked back to Rose, there seemed to be boredom in them, almost sadness in a way Cynthia couldn't quite make out.
"Are you with…" Cynthia began to ask, but Rose quickly answered.
"I'm engaged…"
Rose's voice seemed lost almost, her eyes seem tight as she looked over at the man. Cynthia stared at Rose, there was something else wrong about this, about the way she was looking at her supposed fiance, but she knew that it was clear she wasn't enthusiastic about it.
"Hey," Cynthia said gently to her, leaning a bit closer to her, 'We don't have to talk about husbands all night long."
Rose quickly turned her head back to Cynthia, her gaze softened as she looked at her. Cynthia smiled as she could see the relief in her eyes as Rose relaxed slightly.
"I see," She said breathlessly, almost laughing. "So, you said you could speak the language?"
"Oh yea, I can speak a few lines of German."
"Can you show me?" Rose asked.
"Alright.." Cynthia said as she tried to remember the few German phrases she had learnt. It was so long ago. And then, she remembered one.
"Ok…" She started to prepare herself, "Wo befindet…. sich… die Bibliothek?"
Rose blinked at her, astonished.
"And what does that mean?"
Cynthia giggled a bit, "Where is the library?"
Rose stared at her, and then she too began to laugh,
"Why the library?" She asked through her laughs.
"Its a good palace to ask about," Cynthia laughed, "People might wanna know where the library is."
They laughed a bit more as they continued to eat their ice cream, as they did, Cynthia continued her talks about visits to Germany and Sweeden, with Rose listening to every detail, every mishap they had getting lost, about the structures and people she had seen.
"So we ended up at the National Gallery in Berlin, it was really beautiful," Cynthia was saying, "They have really nice artwork."
"You like art?" Rose asked genuine intrigue in her voice.
"Yeah, I mean I do stuff in that field," Cynthia said honestly.
"Really? I actually brought some paintings I bought in Europe," Rose said, smiling again.
"Oh really? What artists?"
"Pica-"
Before Rose could say the rest of her answer, Sir Gordon stood up, and it seemed many of the men on the table were following his lead. "Anyone one wish to accompany me in a brandy gentleman?" He asked loudly, there seemed to be a joint agreement as the men began to chatter with themselves.
"What's happening?" Cynthia asked, still looking at the men.
"Going to the smoking rooms," Rose whispered to her, "Probably going to congratulate each other while their at it." Both of them laughed. Then Lawrence from his seat came over to Cynthia.
"I guess I'll be leaving you now," Lawrence said, looking down at her
"You're leaving already?" Cynthia asked, turning her body towards him.
"Seems there is more to discuss with the men."
Cynthia smiled.
Lawrence then reached out his hand to Cynthia.
"Goodnight Cynthia Cornell, oh" He then playfully facepalmed with his other hand, "Sorry, Maybelle Thorntell."
Cynthia chuckled a bit as she took his hand, and he brought it up to his lips, kissing it.
"Goodnight Lawrence," Cynthia chuckled, though it was not as loud as she had been with Rose. Lawrence smiled as they both let go and Lawrence slowly followed along with some of the other men.
Cynthia stared at him for a couple of seconds as Rose suddenly speaks again,
"It's getting late isn't it, I think I'm gonna go and retire for the evening."
Cynthia turned her head and watched as Rose turned her body, speaking to the older red-haired women next to her.
"Will you be finishing soon Mother?" She asked the woman.
Rose's mother glances over to her daughter and Cynthia could see the irritation in her eyes.
"Does it look like I'm done right now, I'm quite busy here," She said coldly.
Cynthia felt her eyes narrow at her as Rose looked a bit deflated, My mum never acts like that to me, she thought. She looked over at Rose whose eyes sat looking down at her plate again. Then it came to her.
"You know, I can walk you back to your cabin," Cynthia offered, Rose looked up at her, a sort of relief in her eyes again, almost taken aback by it.
"You know I'm pretty tired myself so I think I'll go to bed too," Cynthia added, smiling at Rose, "I've had quite the busy day today so some sleep might be in order."
Cynthia glances over at Rose's mother, who makes a sort of face a sort of smile, it went away in seconds, almost like a scoff as she turned and went back to talking to the woman next to her. Cynthia began to bite at the ball of the inside of her mouth. It was true that she was tired, so why was she having a problem saying she was, it had been true that a lot had happened that day.
It's pretty exhausting time travelling 96 years into the past and pretending you're your great grandmother, is what Cynthia really wants to say to her, but she doesn't as Cynthia stands up from her seat, grabbing her black gloves and putting them back on. Rose does the same, as they start saying their goodbyes to everyone and slowly make their way away from the table.
"So what deck are you on?" Cynthia asks Rose.
"B deck."
"Really? So am I, funny how that is."
"Yes well.."
As they were leaving Rose's eyes looked over to the other side of the table once more. Cynthia follows her gaze as she once again stares at the same man from before, only now he is also leaving the table with some of the other gentlemen. He looks over and Rose and him lock eyes with each other.
"Who is that?" Cynthia finally asks.
Rose blinks, and she relaxes briefly. "My fiance, Cal."
Cynthia looked at him. Fiance? she thought, How old is he? He doesn't look anything close to our age.
"Ok then," Cynthia says, "Let's go then," And she without really thinking takes grabs Rose's hand. Rose jumps slightly and lets out a quiet gasp as she looks down at Cynthia's hand. Cynthia doesn't hear however and pulls Rose away from the table, she keeps holding her hand until they are out of the dining room and then, remembering what she was doing again, quickly lets go.
"Oh sorry about that, I was just…"
"Oh umm. It's fine really," Rose reassures, "I really must be getting tired."
"Well then we better get you to bed then," Cynthia said warmly. Rose smiled at her, her eyes softening as she and Cynthia made their way through the reception and back up the staircase until they went through the Grand Staircase entrance. Then they made their way to the elevators and took it back up to B-deck and made their way through the corridors. Neither of them said much while they walked, maybe Rose is just as tired as I am, she thought.
But at last, they finally stopped in front of Rose's cabin, labelled B-56.
"Well.. here we are," Rose said breathlessly.
"Yep…"
Rose turned to Cynthia and looked at her gently.
"Thank you again for walking me back here," She said.
"No problem…"
Cynthia smiled.
"Goodnight Rose," Cynthia said warmly.
"Goodnight Cynthia."
And Rose opened the cabin door and went inside, Cynthia stared at the cabin door for a few seconds before she slowly walked away and began to make her way back to her cabin.
She finally made it there, she immediately pulled off her black gloves and headed towards her bedroom, once there she begins to pull off her gloves and her necklace and gently throws them onto the dressing table. Cynthia then makes her way towards the wardrobe, opening it up and begins to pull around at the dresses.
There's gotta be something like pyjamas in here, right? She thought as she rummaged around.
Then came…
Thud!
Cynthia stopped and look down at the bottom of the wardrobe. Something had fallen out of one of the dresses. She peered down and crouched down and reached in. There was something that dropped out, and Cynthia could feel something against her fingers, it was sort of a leather-like feel to it. She grabbed it and pulled it out of the wardrobe.
It was a book, a small leatherbound book. What is this? Cynthia thought as she brought it to the dressing table, sat down and began to flick through the pages.
There were writings all over it, with small neat handwriting that looked eerily familiar to Cynthia, like the handwriting she had managed to write on earlier that day.
Is this what I think it is? Cynthia thought, stopping at a page in the middle. It didn't have much of a date on it, March 18 1911.
"Tonight has been very gracious to me, to think Ive been waiting my whole life to be married to him and now it's finally happened. It was everything I thought it would be and more. To think I have forever with him now, with my beloved Eugine."
And then it hits her suddenly what this is.
This is Maybelle's journal! Cynthia thought, Oh my god.
She began to flick through more pages and began to skim through their contents.
September 21 1910
"Today I have managed to pick out my wedding dress, it was beautiful having my / and my bridesmaids there made it all the while, to be honest. I can't wait for Eugine to see me wearing this on the day."
Cynthia stared at the page, specifically at the word that had been blacked out. Wonder what that is? She thought as she squinted her eyes, but she still couldn't make out what it was. Why would she have something written out?
She flipped through more pages and then stopped again.
August 9th 1911.
"Eugine has been discussing with me about going back to the States in the next year. I said we could take one of those Cunard ships in December if we really wanted to but Eugine proposed a better idea. He suggested that we go in April next year, he says that that's when the RMS Titanic is supposedly going on its maiden voyage and she'll be heading for New York bound. I guess it will be nice to go over there again, though /"More redacted parts? Cynthia thought, she flicked through the pages again, and that's when she noticed another oddity.
There were dates missing, one page would say January 4th and the next page wouldn't be until February 27th. And in between those gaps, there were remnants of what looked like had been pages, but it was clear that someone had ripped them out.
What is going on? Cynthia thought, looking at the remains of the ripped-out pages, Why would she rip whole pages out? I wonder if they're still here.
Before she could investigate any further, she could hear the door to the sitting room swing open and Cynthia quickly opened the top drawer on the dressing table and put the journal in.
"I'm back Mrs!" Lillian called, and Cynthia could hear her hurrying toward her bedroom. 'How was your night Mrs?" Lillian asked, standing in between the doorway.
"Yeah, it was fine, how about you Lillian?"
"Oh, it was fine…"
Lillian then asked.
"Would you be needing any help getting into your nightwear?"
"No I don't think so," Cynthia said, she was really feeling tired now. "I think I'll be heading to bed soon."
"Very well. Goodnight Mrs, I'll be here if you need anything."
Lillian then went away, and closed Cynthia's bedroom door behind her, leaving Cynthia alone in her bedroom. She turned her head to the drawer. Sure those missing pages were around here somewhere, she thought. But she was already feeling tired already. I'll look for them later, she thought and went back towards the wardrobe. Finally, she pulled out a white nightgown and gently put it on the bed, as she slowly began to take her evening dress off, as well as her corset and put the nightgown on.
Cynthia put her evening dress at the bottom of the wardrobe and finally pulled her hair out of its updo and let it fall freely down her back. She then walks over to the door and flicks off the main lights, leaving the only light left being the one on the bedside, then she slowly made her way into the bed and crawled under the covers.
The bed was very soft from under her, as well as the pillows as she lay there, her eyes feeling a bit heavy now. She turned over and switched the bedside light off, plunging the whole room into darkness. Cynthia lay there for a bit, turning her head towards the other side of the bed which was completely empty.
Maybelle's husband would be sleeping with her here, she thought, Must have been awful.
She then began to think back, back to earlier that day. To her mum and dad, 96 years in the future from where she was now. What were they doing now? Surely they would have realised now that something had happened to her?
I hope they're ok, Cynthia thought as she relaxed a bit more into her pillow. We get into Queenstown tomorrow morning. I still have a chance to get off if I really want to. I don't know. Am I really making the right choice here? Staying on this ship when I know what will happen? And even if I do stay, how can I know I can stop this ship from hitting the iceberg? Or even save anyone?
She rolled on her side again. She knew that deep down thinking about this would only make her stay awake longer, and right now she just wanted to sleep. So she closed her eyes, bringing the covers closer to her and eventually began to fall asleep, her first night alone in 1912.
Cynthia didn't really remember most of her dreams, but she did remember at the very least, the last one she had.
Cynthia was, deep, deep underwater, that she could at least tell as the world around her seemed blurry, almost in complete darkness. Wherever this dream was taking her, she was nowhere near the surface. She began to swim around, and in the distance, she could see the large shape of a dark figure. It was huge, and she could overall make out its shape as she got closer. As she did, her vision became much more clearer and when she finally saw what it was she felt her heart sink.
It was the Titanic, at least what it used to be, only now it was the shell of what it used to be like in the many photos she had seen over the years. This was the wreck of the ship, and Cynthia was now looking at what remained of the bow section.
She sat coldly eerily on the ocean floor, the barnacles which covered it moving ever so briefly against the small current. Cynthia didn't question why she was able to breathe at this depth, as she began to flick her arms and legs forward and slowly made it closer to the wreck.
Despite how broken and old she looked, to Cynthia she was still beautiful as she had always been as she began to move along down the bow section, she didn't dare to try and put her feet along the decks or what remained of them, for she feared at any pressure on them would give way and damage the ship even more.
Cynthia feels calm, even in this dream, but even then she can feel there is something very off about this. As though, she is being watched.
She turned her head around and saw who it was that was giving her that feeling. Rachel, Bethan and Natalie were there, floating a couple of metres away from her, looking down at her. They stared at her, their eyes narrowing at her, until all three of them abrupt into laughter which echoed and bounced around her, ringing in her ears. She began to swim away, further into the ship as their laughter subsided for a moment, but then came back in full. Cynthia covered her ears, trying to muffle their noises. "Leave me alone!" She found herself yelling, but her voice came out small against the ocean.
She kept swimming, deeper and deeper into the ship and as she does their laughter faded away and in its place comes music, and then came chatter, just like she had heard at dinner as she found herself floating in the remains of the dining saloon. Yet all around her, there was this constant chatter and laughter around her, but there was no one there. She was all alone.
And yet she felt something grab her arm, and Cynthia felt her skin crawl. She didn't want to turn around but she did anyways.
Rose floated behind her, her hand still clutching to Cynthia's arm. Her skin looked so cold under the water and her eyes looked glassy, staring straight at Cynthia. Her grip kept tightening against Cynthia's arm.
Cynthia's eyes shot away, her head looking straight up at the ceiling. She kept breathing in and out, as her eyes darted around. I'm still here, Cynthia thought sleepily as she relaxed back into the pillow.
I'm still on the ship.
The thought hit her and shot her up from the bed, waking her up. She breathed in a bit more, taking everything in again as she opened her bedroom door and quietly walked into the sitting room.
Alright, now I really need to think about this, How am I going to stop the iceberg? She thought and she began to pace around the room.
Maybe I should try telling the captain and crew... no, they'd just think I was crazy, it would never work. Ok, then what else, maybe I could slow the ship somehow, then the lookouts would be able to see the iceberg was in time and be able to turn. But what could I do?
Just as she was thinking, Cynthia heard Lillian's bedroom door swing open and she saw Lillian make her way out of her bedroom. Cynthia stops pacing and stares at Lillian, who looks like she's just about woken up.
"Good morning Mrs," Lillian said warmly, "How was your sleep last night?"
"It was fine," Cynthia said, sitting down at the table, "How did you sleep?"
"Wonderful, I couldn't even feel the waves, it was so soothing."
Lillian then straightened herself up.
"Would you be needing any help dressing for breakfast Mrs?"
"Yes please," Cynthia said and she and Lillian went into Cynthia's room, where she got out of her nightgown again and Lillian helped her to put on and lace her corset. She then grabbed one of the dresses from the wardrobe, a cream-coloured one and helped Cynthia put it on.
"What were you thinking of having for breakfast Mrs?' Lillian asked once they were finished.
"I'm not sure," Cynthia said honestly, "What is there to have?"
"I believe there's a breakfast menu around here," Lillian said and she went back into the sitting room, she came back shortly with what looked very much like a menu and handed it to Cynthia.
Cynthia opened it up, at the top it had the date; April 11th 1912 and listed many different breakfast options; Fried eggs, sausages, ox kidneys and other such items.
"I think I'll have the sausages, with the omelette and potatoes if that's fine."
"Very well Mrs," Lillian then left the room again, she was gone for some time as Cynthia went back into the sitting room, taking a seat at the table. Lillian was outside the door and was talking to someone, from what Cynthia could see it was a steward. They seemed to finish talking as he soon left and Lillian went inside.
"They should bring breakfast around in ten minutes," Lillian said, and Cynthia nodded.
They then waited ten minutes until there was a knock at the door. Lillian hurried over and opened it, chatting to whoever it was on the other side and let him in. It was another steward bringing a plate of Cynthia's breakfast; Freshly cooked sausages and omelette with a side of baked potatoes.
"Thank you," Cynthia said as the steward put the plate on her table, along with her knife and fork. He then nodded at her before quickly leaving. Cynthia looked at the plate, everything looked so good as she grabbed her utensils and started eating. She was right, it was delicious, and every bite seemed to melt in her mouth.
"What time is it?' Cynthia asks Lillian as she's eating. Lillian pulls out a watch from her pocket and checks the time.
"It's 10:30 Mrs," Lillian said, glancing up at Cynthia.
10:30 already? Cynthia thought, How did I sleep in for so long?
"We should be in Queenstown by now," Lillian commented, glancing over to the windows. As Cynthia finished her breakfast, she went over and looked out the windows. Indeed she could see in the distance the Queens Town harbour. Our last stop, Cynthia thought sadly.
Cynthia went back into her bedroom and Lillian followed, helping her change out of her morning dress and helped put her into a white and blue dress. Cynthia sat herself down on the dressing table and glanced over at the drawers again before she put on a pair of blue butterfly earrings. As she was sitting, Lillian started to try to do Cynthia's hair again.
"It's fine, I can do it," Cynthia said to her, Lillian nodded and went away as Cynthia began to brush through her hair and began to put it into a braid which rested gently on her shoulder. She smiled at herself in the mirror's reflection as she put on some black heels and put her camera around her neck again. Finally, she put on some black heels and got up, and a grabbing a blue handbag before heading back into the sitting room.
"I'm going out," She called to Lillian, who was clearing up the table.
"Alright Mrs, see you later."
"See ya."
She then left her cabin and headed down the corridors once again. She didn't know exactly where she was planning to go, but she felt like walking nonetheless.
She soon found herself in the lounge again, though this time there didn't seem to be many people as there had been yesterday. She looks over to the gangway doors, where she had first gotten on the ships to see that there are First class passengers coming aboard from Queenstown.
I could still get off, Cynthia thought suddenly, her eyes fixated on the gangway door, to the outside. Wouldn't be so difficult to find a way to New York and I wouldn't be on a doomed ship.
But there were still people on this ship, people who had everything in New York, people who have nothing there too. And they're all hoping to get to New York too, they don't know what's going to happen. Cynthia was the only one on that ship that knew what was going to happen, and by that count, she was maybe perhaps the most knowledgeable person on the ship. And with that knowledge, she knew couldn't just leave everyone on this ship blissfully unaware of what was to happen.
I can't walk away from this, she thought, I'm too involved now to get off this ship. I'm saving this ship if I can, I can't just run away from this. Everyone I've managed to meet so far is counting on me.
And so, Cynthia turned away and began to make her way away from the lounge towards the promenade deck. Whatever fate she had just decided for herself had been done. There was no going back from this and no matter what, at least for now, Cynthia knew she would not regret this decision.