XCOM Family Quarters

Praesidium

"My baby!"

My mother shot towards me, wrapping her arms around me as I embraced her, hugging her.

Hey mom.

She paused for a moment, startled. "Oh! I forgot. Why-"

I lifted my chin, showing off my neck scar. Voice box got messed up. Can't talk for another day or two. Sorry.

She looked shocked. "The Russian man told us about what happened. That traitor nearly killed you!"

I know. If it weren't for Carmelita, I'd be dead.

"Oh!" Her voice cracked, hugging me again, her face turning red. "I'm so sorry."

My father and sister stood awkwardly in the back, content to watch her almost break into tears as she released me. And, really, you couldn't blame her. No parent should have to watch their child die before them. Especially not like this.

Mom, I'm really alright. Trust me.

"Are you sure?" My dad interjected. "We heard about what happened. He ripped your throat open? What'd you even do to him anyway?"

I just killed his drug cartel raping murder uncle.

"Jesus, sis." Grace spoke up. "You've been busy."

I'm okay for the most part, though.

I elected to ignore the several times I woke up in the middle of the night in the bunks and Caelior's room almost screaming from a nightmare of Nico popping up in my regular life and stabbing me.

"The Commander's not going to send you out anytime soon, right?"

Hell no. He knows I need a break. I won't be going out for a while. Just resting and recovering.

"Good. Next time you see him, tell him that if he doesn't, I'll tell him myself to give my daughter some damn rest."

I could sense my father's genuine anger and fatherly protective instincts in his voice. He may not have the abilities I did, but if there was one thing he had that I never could, it was those parental instincts that gave parents that extra edge in life, the one that made them your true guardians, someone that any son or daughter could look to if they needed help.

Well- most parents, anyway.

I'll ah, maybe tell him that.

Let's be real- I wasn't.

"So…" My mom pursed her lips, sitting back down, "What's happening now. Yates helping you?"

She's amazing, mom. I would've gone nuts a while ago. You should really ask to meet her. She's a helluva woman.

"I'm glad." My dad said. "And the Borelian? Car-something?"

Carreria. She's great. Always there when you need a mama bear to lean on. And I'm not kidding. She's this close to a bear. Literally. I squeezed my right thumb and index fingers. You'd be shocked to find out just how biologically close they are to grizzlies.

Mom raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to replace me, honey?"

I smirked. Maybe. Maybe not.

"Oh! I almost forgot!"

What?

"I met one of your friends yesterday. I should've mentioned that earlier!"

Now this just got interesting. Kunio and Carreria hadn't said anything...

Who was it?

"It was, oh who was it now?" She snapped her fingers a few times. "I was working on her MEC suit, it was like a mountain…"

Sierra?

"Yeah! That was her! We hadn't really met before, so she asked who I was, told her my name, and then she was like 'are you Dawn's mom?' and I said yes, and then we talked for a bit-"

Wait. You actually had a conversation with her?

"Yes!" She said jovially. "She's, well, different, but she's nice! She told me about working with you, what you two do together-"

Oh. My. God. She sounds exactly like when she came back from those looong visits to the store and she ran into a friend. I can't escape it, oh god.

Kill. Me. Now.

After letting her speak for several minutes, I cleared my throat. So, I guess you liked her?

"I did. You should ask her about it when you get the time. She's very tall." My mom pursed her lips again. "Does the MEC surgery really take away so much of your normal body. I mean, I suppose being so tall is worth it, but…" She shook her head. "I don't know."

It's not for everyone. But don't fuck with her. I saw her take on a whole horde of Chryssalids with only an Alloy Cannon.

The looks on everyone's faces said enough.

So, anything else I should know about?

Grace shook her head. She agreed to keep the Caelior thing a secret for now, as we figured he'd want to meet the parents more.

I have some good news!

"What's up?"

Dad, remember when I told you guys about Violet?

"You mean that crazy bitch from South America?" Grace said, her Southern accent, like mine, pronouncing it as beetch.

Yeah, her. Well...I pushed my shoulder together. Guess who coming to XCOM?

The trio of my family members looked confused for a moment, before my dad made the connection.

"Wait, you're not serious, are you?"

I just smiled. Nope! Another happy member of the XCOM family, comin' atcha!

My sister just shook her head. "Well, sis, looks like you're not going to be alone in your age group here at XCOM anymore."

Feels great. When she comes, you want to meet her? Eventually?

My mom and dad looked at each other for a moment, before looking back at me. "Sure. I mean, by this point, we've met two Ethereals and a Borelian."

I smiled remembering the first time Carreria met my family. It was certainly a surprise for them, meeting a female that acted so, well masculine. Her standing there in combat boots, with huge cargo shorts and a tank top on, with huge muscles bulging out of...well, everywhere, it made mom and dad look like twigs. Her almost motherly manner towards me changed that, though.

I was almost surprised they hadn't absolutely lost it from the sheer absurdity of it all.

Don't worry. She can be a handful, a little rough around the edges if you will, but she's alright.

"She speaks Spanish, right?"

Yes, Dad. She's from Argentina.

"Finally!" He said in a sarcastically exasperated voice. "Now I can use that Spanish I learned in college."

Mom and I just rolled our eyes.

"So what's going to happen? You going to train her or something?"

I shrugged. Sort of, I guess. I'll show her around, shower her how things work, then let her find her way. She's getting her own trainer, so I'm not gonna be holding her hand.

"You think she'll fit in?"

I did. She pulled herself out of South America and made a whole resistance. I think she's got it.

"Aw." My sister crossed her legs. "Look at you, making more friends."

I rolled my eyes. Hey, at least you have a boyfriend. I can't date anyone I serve with.

"Have you met him?"

No. I gave a grin. I might scare him too much.

"Ah, psh." She waved me off. "Dan'll like you?"

Dan, huh? Nice name. Hey, tell him that if he ever-

"Dawn, that's my job." My mom crossed her arms.

I held up my hands. Alright. Just let me know if I ever need to use my guns. I flexed my arms. You know I can lift a car in my armor?

"I'll send you a time. How's that sound?"

Fair enough. Can't wait.

Mess Hall

Praesidium

I walked through the Mess Hall, carrying a tray of a double-decker cheeseburger, waffle fries, and a small plastic bowl of vanilla ice cream, looking for my friends. I had one more surgery scheduled for later this afternoon that would fix up my voice for good. Right now, I could speak, sort of, but it was a hoarse whisper at best. I still preferred to speak with my telepathy alone.

The scar on my throat was still quite prevalent, something I'd elected to keep.

As I grabbed a drink from one of the many drink dispensers, I noticed Sierra and her gang sitting alone at a table. I walked over, sitting down.

"Dawn! Hey, it's been a while." Ted said.

I nodded, smiling.

Maybe I should fuck with them a little.

Sierra was the first to notice the scar. "What happened to your throat?"

I made a 'slice-the-throat' motion with two fingers across my throat.

"Why aren't you talking?" Anna asked with a somewhat confused look. I frowned, pulling out my phone and typing something on a text, sliding the phone over to her, Sierra's larger MEC hand making the phone seem small in her palm. Read, I motioned with my lips.

"Um...can't talk, got my throat slit by an Avatar...fucked up my voicebox...need your permission to talk to you telepathically." She almost dropped the phone. "An Avatar? Are you all right?"

I tapped my head.

"Oh, right. You can use your telepathy."

Didn't think you all would react well to a stereotypical Southern voice spontaneously appearing in your heads. I swallowed. Yeah, sorry about that. Was pretty easy at first. Extracted an HVT got some pretty pictures of the Aurora Borealis, but then that psycho Mexican kid came along and stabbed me in the throat. Seemed pretty pissed about his uncle. Joke's on him, though. Carmelita chopped his left arm off and shot him in the groin. Turned his nuts into paste.

"Carmelita did that?"

Yep! Now that's what I call erectile dysfunction.

The three of them raised their eyebrows.

Badum tss?

"No." Anna shook her head. "Just...no."

Oh well. Whaddya know, I guess she didn't dislike me as much as I thought. I shrugged. Win-win-win-win, though. XCOM got its asset, an Avatar got its ass handed to it, Carmelita and I are good, and I get some bragging rights. I pointed at the scar. Guy ripped my throat open with telekinesis and stabbed me. Hurt like a bitch.

"So Carmelita saved you?" Anna hadn't picked up her fork in a while. "All by herself?"

Yep. Charged right up to him, tied him up with her Stinger, and went in for the kill. I pursed my lips. I'll do you all a favor and show it to you later. I gestured to my scar again. So, does this little guy gain me entry into the 'near-death-Avatar-encouter' club?

The trio looked at each other for a moment. "Sure it does." Ted spoke up. "I'll be sending your congratulatory certificate in…" He looked at an imaginary wristwatch on his hand. "Never."

I snorted. I missed you guys. Hey! Want to hear some good news?

"Sure."

Y'all remember Violet? That teenager I worked with in Argentina?

"I do." Sierra gave a little smile. "You seem to remember her fondly."

I gave them a shit eating grin, leaning back and crossing my arms behind my head. Well...let's just say that, all in good time, I won't be the only teenager fighting alongside you guys.

The MEC woman cocked her head. "I don't…" Her eyes turned red. "You don't mean?"

That's right. You'll be dealing with another me. Only this me is a tad bit older, Spanish, and is a bit more...vulgar.

Anna snorted. "First Lily, then you, and now Zoe. Soon, we'll be outnumbered by you guys."

Better watch out. I gave a semi-evil smirk. All I need to do is recruit some teenagers with attitude, Power-Rangers style, and the Collective's done for.

"Whatever you do, just don't recruit fools like those two idiot Avatars on TikTok." Ted took another bite of his burger. "We already have enough empty-headed people running around as is."

Oh, don't worry. You can trust me.

As I swallowed, I saw Ted pick up a knife from his pate to cut his steak in half. The silver glint reflected off of it and onto my phone's screen.

Knife.

Knife stab.

Neck scar.

In my throat.

My eyes widened, lightning shooting through me as I let out a garbled yelp, my body stiffening.

The memory rushed back to me, being in the howling wind, cold biting at my skin, hand wrapped around my neck, knife slashing me open.

Knife in throat. Throat hurts. Blood.

"Dawn?"

My vision went blurry as I stared at the knife, my throat tingling as thoughts of Alaska poured through my head.

"What's happening?"

The voices around me were muffled as my whole body continued to stand still, looking at the knife.

"Shit!"

I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder, snapping next to my ear. A hand took the knife away, putting it under the table and getting it out of sight. Something snapped in my mind, like an out-of-body experience, bringing me back to reality as I gasped, faceplanting into the table.

"What the hell just happened?" Anna asked. "Was that an allergic reaction?"

"No, our modifications prevent that! She was having a flashback." Ted's eyes widened. "The knife...it must've triggered something."

"Dawn!?" Sierra slightly raised her voice as I lifted my head up, shaking my head and breathing like someone'd just taken the wind out of me. "Dawn. What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I...I...the knife… It was hard for me to think coherently. It was him. He was stabbing me…

"Fuck." Sierra whispered. "That goddamn knife. Was it like what sliced you open?"

I nodded.

"Come here." She helped me stand up and walked me away from the table, sitting me down at an empty table. "Breathe, Dawn. Just breathe. Listen to the sound of my voice, okay?"

Okay. Listen to her. Breathe.

Sierra held onto me as I looked at the floor, my mind feeling fuzzy as I breathed in and out.

"Try to distract yourself. Think about something else."

I looked at the pale, white tiled floor, focusing on Sierra's hands on my shoulders, the 7 foot tall plus woman towering over me, giving me that look she always did when she knew I wasn't feeling well, almost like how a mom would watch over their child.

Breathe.

My chest heaved for a few minutes as I closed my eyes and slowly brought myself back to reality.

It's ok.

It's not cold, it's warm.

Friends are here.

I looked up as Sierra took her hands off my shoulders and sat next to me. Okay. Okay. I think...I think I'm okay.

"You don't look okay." She frowned. "Was that the first time that's happened?"

I nodded. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I...I was back in Alaska. He was stabbing me. My shoulders tightened.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay, I'm here." She wrapped a huge arm around me. "MEC guardian angel's here, eh?" I leaned my head on her neck. "It happens to me sometimes, too. After Ankara. I know what that's like, to have someone so powerful try to kill you."

I don't what that to happen again. I feel violated. The way he grabbed me, stabbed me. It just… I shivered. If Carmelita hadn't shown up-

"Don't think of it like that. Your friends saved you, and you're here with us."

I nodded. "Feel better?"

A little. Can we talk about something else?

"Are you sure?"

I'm sure.

"Speaking of you." Sierra spoke up. "I met your mom a few days ago. She's a sweet woman."

Yeah, she told me about it. Seemed a bit intimidated by you.

"Have to admit, it was a bit awkward. She was kneeling over, fixing my left engine's left power supply when I told her she was doing a good job. She turns around, her eyes widen like she's seen a ghost, and asks 'you're Sierra, right?' When I say yes, she says 'Oh, my daughter's friends with you! She talks about you all the time!'"

Must've been awkward.

"Not really. More surprising, if anything. She's good at her job, didn't even leave a scratch from the welder. Some of the other people on my team keep on doing that."

Hey, she's been a mechanic for over 20 years. She can fix your shit any day.

"That she did. What else have you been up to?"

Besides getting better? I'm working on some stuff. Got a big ol project for the Commander.

"Oh?"

I just smiled, putting a single index finger to my lips.

"Alright. You got me. Now come finish your lunch. I'm not leaving you here hungry."

Yate's Office

Praesidium

"So, Caelior, what should we start off with today?"

He sat on the couch, towering over the human therapist, hands in his lap, his silver helm staring at Yates.

"I am not sure. Many things have happened since the last time we spoke, Doctor." He played with his fingers, 'twiddling them', as Dawn would say.

"Is what happened with Dawn troubling you?"

He simply nodded. "To an extent, of course.."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He nodded. He and Dawn had already discussed this- talking about each other in therapy was alright, as long as they didn't go very in-depth about their telepathic interactions. "Yes, that's fine. Have you spoken with her about it?"

She nodded. "I have, and I can assure you she's recovering. But let's talk about you, Caelior."

"Very well. She showed up unannounced at my room last night in her slippers and pajamas, which was very irregular for her. She usually waits until she gets to my room until she changes. She seemed very distressed."

"Because she couldn't talk?"

"Yes. I will not go into detail about what we said, but spoke. She went to sleep early, and I felt like I had failed her."

"How?"

"She was very emotional during the ordeal, talking about how she felt, and the whole time I was sitting there, not knowing what to say, letting her vent. I knew I was doing a lot for her by just being there, but it wasn't enough. I wanted to do more."

She wrote more on her tablet. "Were you concerned that she might be unnerved by being around an Ethereal after Alaska?"

He nodded. "She's very used to the presence of my mind, but I did not offer to link as we usually did. I just let her talk and say whatever she needed to say."

"But you felt like you could've done more?"

He nodded, sighing. "She and I are close, but as much as we are similar, we're different. It's simple, really - she's a Human. I can never have the emotional expression and output she can. We've had emotional talks before, but this was different."

The emotions swirled in his stomach as he mentally recalled the events of last night.

Dawn in his lap, his arms around her, crying, talking about getting her throat slashed.

Him patting her on the back, doing his best to comfort her without telepathy.

"I felt violated." She said to him. "This felt different from Zuwara. More personal. The way his telepathy felt, the way he grabbed me- the hate, Caelior. So much hate. He wanted me dead. He wanted me dead so much, Caelior. And I couldn't do anything about it."

He couldn't forget the way she cried. Her face cherry red, bawling as her tears dripped onto his robes- but he didn't care. He could clean his clothes, but he couldn't easily fix this. In the days of his people, often the professional action was to have a registered doctor remove or doctor a false, more peaceful memory in place of the trauma. He wasn't that skilled - he doubted she was - but you couldn't just make something like this go away and expect things to change.

That had been one of the lessons she had first taught him, helping him deal with the decades of what Yates had referred to as 'systemic abuse' and Dawn, in her ever-so-vulgar vocabulary referred to as 'racist brainwashing', slowly changing him. He still viewed some aliens with contempt, but his near-death in Japan has set him on his path to change.

Here, the reality was much, much different.

His sister had been in near-death situations, but this was different, more personal. Sicarius' puppet had wanted her dead. For killing his uncle, no less, and based on what she had told him, such was a person not saving.

So why would he focus so much on avenging such a horrible person?

"I have all this power, doctor." He said. "I can pull fleets out of the sky, crush ships, face off against the most powerful Avatar. But when my sibling needed me the most, when she was in my arms crying, I felt...insufficient. Helpless."

"So what did you do?"

"I held her, and told her that she could trust me with anything. We talked more, and I let her do whatever she wanted for the rest of the night." He paused, looking away for a moment. "I missed her voice, Doctor. It is unnatural when it is absent."

He remembered when she tried to talk to him, and only a hoarse whisper came out, a poor imitation of her 'cowgirl' voice, as she called it. He remembered the pain she communicated through the link, his hatred of Sicarius boiling over, his telekinetic power almost ripping the floor from its foundation if she hadn't calmed him down, and done a breathing exercise.

"Did you do what we practiced?"

He nodded. "I let her have the telepathic control in our 'bond'. Her mind enveloping mine was...relaxing."

She smiled. "See? You're improving. Do you remember the first time we had a meeting, and you broke your chair?"

"I have matured since then, yes. I feel more satisfied I can elicit more self-control thanks to you - and her?"

"How did she react?"

"Well. We talked and she exchanged some stories afterwards."

"And did anything change?"

"She told she felt better, yes, although she was still quiet. She encouraged me to talk about this with you, as she sensed that I felt regretful about that. She and I trust you about our privacy."

She smiled. "I'm happy the two of you trust each other that much. So you're concerned that your emotional capacity compared to a humans' - Dawn in this case - affects how you can help her?"

He shook his head. "It is more than that. It is a matter of understanding. We may be similar, but our minds are very different. When Dawn and I first started to get close, part of me, from the Empire days, found it strange. It was a...remnant of the superiority they taught us, that we were better than the rest who were around back in the Empire's days. Even as I told Dawn how I felt about her, and accepted her into my family, a part of me still felt reserved about that."

"But that changed?"

"Of course. But I still feel that me being an Ethereal affects part of our relationship. The more intimate aspects I can see are relaxing, but are still alien to me."

"Which is perfectly normal."

He nodded. "I know that when we do that, she feels comfortable doing it because she trusts me as a brother and mentor figure. She places trust in me to do that in private because she knows I'm comfortable with it. She feels safe when a large figure like me is being so protective. And while I feel comfortable and secure in doing that…" He trailed off as he used one of his large hands to touch his chest where his heart was located. "My biology betrays me."

"So what you're trying to say is that your emotional range due to your Ethereal physiology and upbringing makes you concerned that you may not be feeling the same benefits from parts of your relationship?"

Caelior nodded. "Yes, though I do not know if that is necessarily an issue. I have a dedicated support system and people I can trust. But when I am watching movies and TV with her, watch the others here talk and interact, I cannot help but feel somewhat curious as to what she experiences. When we watch horror movies, and she almost jumps when something scares or, or when someone does something funny, she laughs. But when I try to emit those same emotions, I feel like my psyche just doesn't respond."

"Because of your emotional output?"

"In some parts, yes. Natural births were exceptions in many ways, our advanced genetics being one of them- which gave us a wider range of emotional expression. But the way you Humans express yourselves every day was something that was highly irregular in Imperial society. Amera understanding how I felt and what I wanted was the exception, not the rule. I had all this anger, as you've said, but I didn't have a way to express it."

"Until you came here."

"Yes. And now that I've been surrounded by a species much more emotionally expressive without most of the stigmas I'm used to. I am uncertain if I have wasted decades of my life in suppression, or if this is simply part of me. It remains a frustration, a remnant of such individuals being treated as outcasts. "

He chuckled sarcastically - something else his little sister had taught him. "But I suppose I'm already enough of an outcast, aren't I? Making an alien a part of my family and working for an alien government." He shook his head. "Regardless, it has helped me become a better person."

"I agree. You've made a lot of progress. You're doing well on judging yourself on your own merits and not others'. It's really clear how your relationship with Dawn's been positively affecting you."

"I have been much happier since we've connected. She's a wonderful woman, and meeting her has let us both grow in many ways."

Yates smiled. Caelior found it satisfying when she did that, a sign of trust. In the beginning when they started having mandatory sessions, he could tell she was somewhat frustrated with his demeanor, but over time, that most certainly changed. "I'm glad you two have found companionship. Have the two of you considered attending sessions together?"

He shrugged. "No. She still wants me to get her family better before she brings up the hypothetical adoption scenario. Her sister seems agreeable, but I can tell her parents are still on the fence, which is understandable. But it is possible."

"Are you concerned that they will say no?"

"Of course. Dawn is the closest person I have to a family. My parents and future mate are dead." He looked down. "I don't have anyone else. She and I aren't bonded, but it is the closest we will ever be. If I did join her family, if I did adopt her last name, I would be satisfied. I owe her a debt of gratitude and honor. The least I could do is look after her family." He chuckled. "I suppose it would be odd for her or Grace's future children to have me as an uncle."

"That's very kind of you to consider, Caelior. Anything else?"

"Dawn's going to refrain from coming over for a bit. Said she wants some time to herself- she said that she just needs some time to think around her human friends. Privately, I suspect that the powerful psionics are making her nervous, but I respect it."

He would miss her, but he knew they both needed it. Her mind was not in the right place, and if his sibling needed to get better, then he would do whatever was necessary. Whether it was making her laugh at his Darth Revan costume for Halloween, another tour of a favorite memory, or simply them on the bed, snuggling under the covers, watching a movie, he would do it.

They would do it.

Together.

"But that's all I have for today."

"Same time next week, Doctor?"

"Same time next week."

Yate's Office

Praesidium

I laid on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

I don't really want to talk about this, doctor.

"Dawn, you can't ignore it."

What can I say? I shrugged meekly. That I got my ass kicked and nearly died. Again?

"Dawn, if you don't talk about it and just keep it to yourself, it's not going to end well. It's not healthy."

What part of being in XCOM is healthy? I sarcastically rolled my eyes, snorting. Just being here's cutting down my lifespan day-by-day.

"Let's talk about that night in Alaska." She was clearly ignoring my snark. "What about it, to you, made you feel different than other near-death situations, like South America."

I shook my head. As much as I really didn't want to, I couldn't ignore it. I sat up, pulling my knees under my chin. It felt personal. The other times were soldiers, as much as I didn't like it, doing their jobs. They didn't know who I was. But Nico? He damn well knew.

I shivered. I...I felt his hate. His anger. It was like a mad dog trying to rip my throat out. There was so much contempt. He's supposed to be almost a year older than me, but it didn't feel like that. It didn't feel like it was him. It felt like it was more of Sicarius than him.

"Could you tell that through your telepathy?"

Yeah. In the simulations, Avatars feel wholly unique. They're the only enemies that have basically two minds in one body. The Lesser Hive Commanders are less powerful, and not emotional at all. With him, it felt more like she was in control, but the human emotions were all over the place. It was his body, but it was her mind.

"So it felt like she was using him?"

To me, yeah. But I couldn't tell you more than that. There was no way I could beat him, and the way I was attacked...I just felt like I was violated. Like my illusion of being a good soldier was ripped apart and thrown in the trash.

"And I heard you had a PTSD flashback recently?"

Yeah. I'm not proud of it. I was just eating, I saw a knife, and it went off. I was back in Alaska, getting stabbed. I tightened my shoulders. I don't want it to happen again.

"Unfortunately, PTSD can be very unpredictable."

So you're officially diagnosing me?

"Yes." She noticed my solemn face. "I'm sorry, but there's no getting around it, Dawn."

I didn't say anything, instead choosing to stare at the floor. In that moment, I felt like my uncle.

Would I become a wreck like him too? Taking meds day after day, mind torn to shreds because of what I'd seen? Having to worry every night about waking up screaming from a dream so realistic it made you sweat? Taking to drugs and alcohol to stay emotionally stable and further wreck your life?

I didn't want this.

"If you're wondering if this is going to affect your operational status, then yes- temporarily. I want to see how you do with the medications I'm prescribing you."

You're giving me meds?

"I'm not a pill-pusher, Dawn. You can only handle the treatment in so many ways. And besides, you've already had medicine temporarily given to you before. You've taken sleep aids back in the Priests and XCOM, and you don't have a history of drug abuse, so there's not a lot of concern on my end."

I don't want to be like my uncle.

"Ah." She frowned. "I...I could see why you'd be concerned about that."

You think?

"Dawn, your case isn't as serious as others I've worked with. Here." She passed a small piece of paper to me. "I'm giving you a prescription for a medication called Zoloft. It's a common PTSD drug. Check the mailroom later for a package of it."

I looked at the piece of paper.

"Dawn, there's nothing shameful about it."

It's...not like that. At all. I don't know. I knew the Collective was after me before, now it feels personal. That was the closest I came to dying.

"Do you want to kill them?"

I wanna kill 'em both, Doc. I had my doubts, but they want me dead. I don't care how fucked in the head they are, he fucked up big time. He took my goddamn throat, Carmelita took his dick, and I've lost any sympathy for him.

"Sympathy? Like what we talked about with the Sicarius-Nico abusive relationship?

Mmm.

"Well, to be truthful, I don't really have anything to say about it. Not that I can do much about it, really. XCOM already has a kill-or-capture-for-experimentation order out on all their heads, so-"

So you're not going to try and convince me not to?

"No. Just don't let that hate overcome you and become hyper-obsessive."

Like Kane?

She pursed her lips. "I don't discuss my other patients."

Fair enough.

"Do you want to talk about something else?"

Sure.

"How's your relationship with your parents right now?"

I shrugged. I don't know. I guess 'good' is the best word I can come up with. They're all settled in and everything, but I can tell they worry about me.

"You've mentioned before that your mother made some derogatory comments about your service and actions recently. What's been up with that?"

I really haven't been talking to her much more so my dad, save for sometimes. I don't know how to just sit down and tell them.

"I see. Would you feel comfortable having a family meeting sometime?"

I nodded. But not yet. I still have all this on my mind. I need to get better.

She nodded. I understand.

But there's more on my mind than just this, Yates. It's...it's complicated.

"What happened?"

I made this plan. This idea. Before I headed off to Africa. The Commander e-mailed me that he wanted to talk about it with me soon, but I just don't feel right about it.

"Well, what is it?"

Here. I handed her my phone. It's a long story.

She looked at the phone, scrolling through it as she squinted.

"I-ah. I see."

I have some worries over this. Call it aforementioned guilt.

Soldier's Quarters

Praesidium

"So...does anyone want to start?"

Quite a few of my sisters-in-arms sat in a makeshift human ring in the middle of our section of the barracks, some sitting on the floor, some sitting in their beds, some sitting in chairs- you got the idea. We did this every week, sit around and talk, having Girl Time (what I called it in my mind, anyway), and talked about...well, anything. Men, fighting, relationships, whatever was on your mind.

It was nighttime, so all of us were dressed in our respective nightwear. Most of the women just wore a t-shirt and pants (or not even pants at all). I myself just had my super-baggy shorts that went down to almost my knees.

"I'll start." Cassandra raised a hand. "My wife and I celebrated our three-year anniversary yesterday. Her parents sent us some gifts, and, well…" She smiled. "I'm lucky to have her. Felipa and I...well, XCOM's tested our relationship a bit, but we're doing great."

A few people clapped, saying their congratulations. I gave a few heartfelt ones myself, feeling happy for her. She was a good person, and a good friend- it was the least she deserved. I'd never met a person in a same-sex relationship before this, so it was also a good learning experience for me to understand relationships from another angle.

It, quite frankly, was very wholesome.

"That's great, Cassandra. Congratulations." Lian paused. "Who's next?"

Another woman raised her hand. It was Bassama.

"I got my two hundredth kill yesterday. Got sent to Vietnam to raid a munitions fabrication plant, killed a ton of Vitakara engineers. I didn't even know I hit that benchmark until I got back and looked at my counter." She pulled back the 'skin' on her left hand for a moment. "I have to say I had doubts about doing this, but every time I go out there and get in the Jaeger, it feels more and more right every time. It's not like putting on a suit of armor, it's like putting on another part of you."

Lots of women nodded, the few other MEC pilots there smiling. Jade, a 2.0 MEC pilot from New Zealand whooped. "You go, sister!"

"My husband and I had some disagreements about the procedure, but ultimately, we're both happy. Who knew he'd like a giant woman as a wife?"

More laughs, chuckles, and snorts.

"Granted, kids aren't exactly on the radar, but, well, you know…" She grinned. "Well, with the new upgrades, other things are new for us, too. To him I'm more woman than machine, if you know what I mean."

More laughs. I couldn't help but snort and chuckle a bit myself, rolling my eyes. Sure, they were adults on the outside, but sometimes I swore to whatever deity existed that on the inside they could be even more immature than me.

Adults and their sex jokes.

"Okay, who wants to go next?"

I raised a hand.

"Okay Dawn, what's on your mind?"

I smiled. I'd been keeping this a surprise. "Well...I can talk normally again. Don't have to worry about me just popping up in your head anymore."

Cassandra rolled her eyes. "She speaks! The horror!"

"Yep, She's back." I waved my hands. "You missed my cowgirl voice?"

"Hey, no offense, but your accent sounds almost exactly like your stereotypical US Southerner."

"I'm fine with that, Lian." I smiled. "I'm perfectly happy being a stereotype. Just give me the hat and boots and I'll be all set."

"You should've gone as that for Halloween."

"Hey, I was in South America, remember? Killing cartel guys and getting chased by Avatars?"

"All is forgiven." She made a mock bow. "Anything else?"

"I've decided to start something new. I might need y'all's help."

"Really. And what's that?"

"I'm trying to do some soul-searching or something like that. Finding myself. After what happened in Libya, I kinda realized that I'm not really...whole inside. Like, something about me is missing."

I got quite a few nods. "That's interesting." Vihlemina spoke up. "How do you plan on doing it?"

I shrugged. "Right now I'm just kind of figuring out what I mean to other people, and who I want to be. I already know that a lot of you guys view me as a kind of kid sister, which I really appreciate."

"It's true." Someone from the back spoke up. "A lot of us have siblings, and hey, you sometimes remind us of them. It's not a bad thing."

I smiled. Aww.

"If you need any help with that, let us know." My Swedish Templar friend said. "We're here fro you."

I nodded.

"Alright. Who's next?" Lian spoke up.

"I'll go." Chisa raised a hand.

As she went on about contributing to updating Priest Aegii training manuals, the others joining in in a chorus of questions and comments, I leaned back, reminding myself of the days of high school where we'd more or less do the same thing, calling or texting each other, and going to each other's houses. Diana would always be the one with the latest gossip, Millie would be the one to make stupid jokes about it, Andrea would always be the one to speculate...you got the idea.

I guess some things never changed with age, did they?

Dreamscape

I stood next to my Ethereal teacher in the Dreamscape, playing with my fingers as he watched my little scuffle in Zuwara from my PoV, hand on his chin as I melted the Hive Commander's brains, sickly grey and orange fluid flowing out of its 'ears' as its head collapsed.

"Impressive, Dawn Conley." His voice had an unusual tone, seeming like it held a little bit of pride. Whether it was for himself or for his pupil, I couldn't pin down.

"Really?"

"Certainly. The appearance of a Lesser Hive Commander to that battlefield was not expected." He turned around, the 'replay' pausing. "Nonetheless, your actions have confirmed what I've hoped for. My expectations have been more than satisfied."

"I..surpassed your expectations?"

"You did. You should be very proud, especially for one so young. I was uncertain of whether you could counter such an enemy with the training you have as of now, but I am pleased. Well done."

I chuckled nervously, scratching my shoulder. "I know I should be. But when I fought there it wasn't like anything I felt before. It was so intense, like there was this constant storm of death. I barely slept, yet at the same time I felt more awake than ever. It was like…" I trailed off. "Like there was this…."

He nodded at my pause to go on.

I shook my head. "Like this beast. Like this monster that was inside me. When I got pushed like that, I just had this intense feeling of craze, like bloodthirst. It was like something in my mind just snapped. I saw friends get blown to pieces in front of me and I didn't feel a thing. I just went full aggro-"

He cocked his head. "Clarify that term."

"It's-it's slang for aggressive." I didn't know how to say it, but part of me flat-out didn't want to say it at all. The slaughter and the body count I'd racked up was like nothing I'd done before. It was more aggressive, more confrontational. If anything, it reminded me of Carmelita or Kane.

But the strangest part was that when I did it, it felt good.

Almost satisfying.

Like the tank incident.

"You feel nervous." Said with knowing certainty

I almost shivered. "I don't know how you can read me so well."

"It is not difficult. You know that emotions can be sensed without penetration," he said. "Beyond that, I am more familiar with reading Human body and facial language. You, in particular, I know better than most. You remain concerned about the Alaskan mission."

I closed my eyes. "I don't want to talk about that." I remembered earlier in the morning downing the Zoloft pill with some water - the first time I'd taken a mental health medication before in my life. "I just need to think or talk about something else right now."

"I will not press the issue. Now, you were saying about Zuwara?"

"Yeah. That whole siege- it was like I was running on pure adrenaline. And not those damn shots. It was something else. It was almost like something had woken up inside me. I was in this trance. Like I was this forged weapon just out of the fire, ready to start tearing my enemies apart. I was like in this hyperfocus almost the whole time. Normal me would've broken down and had god knows what mental shit go down, but there - it's like there was someone else piloting me."

"Perhaps partially because of the drug they injected you with?"

"Maybe."

He looked at me for a moment. "Something else is troubling you, isn't it? Not just Zuwara?"

"Aegis, I-"

He put a hand on my shoulder. "You can trust me."

I looked away. "It's Sicarius. I want to know more about her."

"I see. What do you wish to know?"

"I want to know what you think of her. What she's like. I already know that the Imperator raised her- but what did he do to her? How did he turn a little girl into - whatever she is now?"

"I was not involved with her training." Something about the way he said the word training put me off. "But the Imperator is her parent, her father. He raised her as his own, one of the few Imperators who took on the role of parent. She gave him the attention and loyalty earned for that sacrifice. No task for her is impossible, nor will it be rejected."

"Would you call her fanatically loyal?"

"As fanatical as a child can be to their parent. A concept I suspect you do not grasp. It is rare for Ethereals to have poor relations with their parents, no matter how strained. Such is more common in Humans." He paused. "I would not characterize her as significantly different than how many would act to protect their family. That the Imperator rules the Collective only solidifies her devotion."

Hm.

"And how old is she again?"

"Barely a century. The youngest of our kind yet alive."

I whistled. "Damn. Even compared to Caelior-"

"He is older, yes. But none of us, save him, questioned her. She is an excellent assassin, spy, and observer. Not a fighter, but she does not need to be."

I scratched my chin. "Do you think she has trauma that's been untreated?"

"Not untreated. Not in the sense you are thinking," he paused for a moment, thinking of the best way to phrase it. "Ethereal trauma is not like your own. Or we do not address it in a similar way. Trauma does not leave us, especially not what she experienced. She is fully functional; her trauma either no longer matters, or it serves as fuel for her. Almost certainly the latter."

"I wonder," I mused. "What do you think brings her and Nico together?"

Aegis seemed noncommittal in his answer. "They have a shared pain, in some respects. I suspect it is simpler. She sees in him what the Imperator saw in her. A lost, abandoned, and damaged individual that needed one to protect and help them. I do not know the boy, but he very likely views her in a similar light to how she views the Imperator."

"So she wouldn't view him as a tool?"

"No. She is not pragmatic like that," he answered. "One cannot be neutral towards those they bond to, even with a bond like the Avatar Project. Whatever affections she has for him are not false."

I thought for a moment. "There's no way that she can be saved, can she?" It wasn't really a question.

"No. She would die before she would betray the Imperator," he shook his head. "Even if the Imperator were to die, it is unlikely that she would surrender. If the chance presents itself, she must be neutralized. Quickly, painlessly if possible. She has endured enough pain in her young life."

I wasn't surprised he had that view. It made sense, unfortunately. Not really easy to get past your family being killed, even if they were terrible people.

"A final thing," Aegis said. "It has been interesting to see your relationship with Caelior develop. It is good he has a friend, even if he has developed some Human tendencies. It is rather odd?"

"Why odd?"

"We do not adopt the tendencies of other species," he said. "However, there were few instances of such inter-species relationships developing. Or perhaps Caelior is more easily accepting of alien habits than other Ethereals. It is something I will appraise in the future. Until later, Dawn. There are some matters I must attend to."

He stood, and left, leaving me alone. I found the sudden topic shift a bit jarring, but it didn't seem that he disapproved at least. Just found it odd.

I shrugged. Caelior acting more Human? I hadn't personally seen that, but maybe because it was natural enough that it didn't occur. Something to think about later, then.

But a part of me didn't want to be the one to pull the trigger on them. Yes, I borderline hated them - Nico in particular. Sure, there was debate to be had on how 'innocent' he really was at the end of the day, but Sicarius on the other hand - her fanaticism towards the Imperator would make a Hitler Youth blush.

Some things therapy couldn't fix.

I knew that all too well.

Hangar

Praesidium

Well, this was it.

Today was the day.

Personally, I never really expected something like this to happen for a while - a long while. Part of me was even surprised the Commander chose Violet - or Zoe (I still used the two interchangeable, damnit) in the first place. Was she good? Yes. Did she have experience? Yes. I mean, she literally formed a highly effective and pretty kickass resistance that was a major thorn in the Collective's side for months - without being caught, might I add- and enough to attract humanity's finest.

On the other hand, while I had no doubt she'd do her best, she overall was more...how should I put this...of a firebrand (was that a good word? I think I sounded like a good word) then me. While I did have my moments, my personality overall was more chill and laid-back. She had more confidence, was more confrontational than me. I didn't expect her to go on one of her world-famous Spanish profanity-laced rants in front of any Internal Council members, I couldn't help but worry that she might do something a little too overblown.

Don't think about that right now.

I stood alone at the edge of the hangar bay, watching as the silo door slid open above and the Skyranger touched down, its ramp extending to the floor as a sole figure walked out, followed by a group of people that definitely did not look like soldiers - support roles, maybe? Scientists and engineers? But I would recognize that hairstyle anywhere.

Zoe.

Our paths cross again.

She stopped before getting off the ramp, turning around and saying something to a pilot. A thank you, maybe? She turned again, getting off the ramp, dressed in a grey tank top with a sweatshirt over it, black sweatpants on her legs with sneakers. I recognized them as the 'casual' wear she wore back in Buenos Aires - albeit more cleaned up, or replaced by less ratty replicas. She had a black bag slung over her left shoulder, her same old hairstyle atop her head. She got into a line with everyone else like I had on my first day, Creed at the ready, handing each person a new uniform, ID, and whatnot. He spoke with each person, though I noticed he spoke with Zoe a bit longer than the others before dismissing her.

As she stepped away, she noticed me, eyes slightly widening as her brown eyes met mine.

"Hey." I said. "Did you miss me?"

She walked closer to me. "Mi amiga. Dawn. Todavia puedes mas. I thought I wouldn't see you again." She chuckled, her accent thick. "I'm finally one of you now."

"Neither thought I'd see you in XCOM. But times change, huh?"

She looked up, scanning the room. "So this is it." She shook her head. "XCOM. I'm really here. One day I'm in the slums of my home city, the next day a Russian man from XCOM asks me to join them."

"Funny how that works, right?"

"Yeah…" She trailed off, her eyes wandering. "I honestly just didn't think they would want me here. They could've picked anyone, and they picked some kid from the villa miserias to be here with them."

"Villa what?"

"It's what we Argentinians call slums. You would call them shantytowns."

"Oh."

She looked down for a moment. "But that's for another time." She saw the scar on my neck. " Mierda. You've been busy."

"That's one way to put it. What've you been doing since I left? C'mon, let's walk."

"Well." She sighed. "After you left, your team stayed with us for another week, then pulled out when more ADVENT forces showed up to bolster us. Things got quiet, and when enough of the area got cleared out, ADVENT pulled us away."

"Why'd they do that?"

"Some bull about our services 'no longer being needed' now that actual Lancers and Priests were walking on our turf. We got moved to Guatemala, and after that we kind of split. The other psions went to the Priests, some of the non-psions joined ADVENT for real, and some decided to call it quits and go back to civilian life. Can't blame 'em."

"And you decided to stick around?"

"Yeah. Didn't want to join the Priests, though. Just something about it didn't seem right."

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. Something about ADVENT's still rubbing me the wrong way."

Same.

"I just didn't feel like it would...fit my style, y'know? Being in a ranked military environment like them just didn't feel right for me. Back before this, I had freedom. Going out into the battlefield of my choice,

"And then XCOM called?"

"Imagine my surprise when Bronis showed up one day in the XCOM uniform, asking me to join. My heart almost leaped out of my throat. Sat me down, asked to join, and here I am!"

"Come on! Don't want to miss your briefing, do you?"

She followed me through the door as we walked down a hallway, going into the Mess Hall.

"Welcome to the Praesidium, the beating heart and soul of XCOM." I spread my hands. "This is where we eat."

She stopped. "Is that an Oyariah over there?"

"Yep! That's Xarian. Told you about him, remember?"

She gaped at the towering stone alien as he dug into an absurdly large pile of nachos. "Ese es un gran cabron. I know. I just...never saw one up close."

"Get used to it." I smiled, trying to put a humorous tone on it. "That's going to happen a lot. C'mon, I'll show you to your briefing." I paused, pointing to the fatigues she had slung over her shoulder. "You should probably put on those for the briefing. Don't really wear this-" I gestured to my own clothing. "To briefings."

She took another look at them. "I can still keep my old clothes, right?"

"Yeah. Just...stick to the fatigues for now."

She snorted. "You guys and your rules. Alright, I'll bite. Where's the bathroom?"

I showed her, and after a few minutes, she walked out, boots and all.

"I look ridiculous in this."

"No you don't! You look great!"

She looked down. "Dad always said I'd never look good in a military uniform. What's the symbol on my chest?"

"That's the XCOM Psionics Division symbol. You ID's got everything about you on there. Name, birth date, age, psionic affinity, Trask level, blood type - that sort of thing."

"You're really enjoying this whole introduction thing, aren't you?" She said, putting it into a faded grey wallet. "What's next, you have Caelior pop out of a corner?"

I totally did not joke about that with him, I swear.

"Nah. You should probably watch out for the Shoggoths, though. Trainers like to walk 'em around the Praesidium, stretch their tentacles a bit."

Her eyes widened. "They don't-wait, you're just messing with me, aren't you?"

I laughed. "C'mon, silly. Don't you want to learn the deep, dark secrets of XCOM?"

She followed me, eyes still on the Oyariah, as we went down the hall, into an elevator. I noticed some people were giving her looks.

"People were staring. That normal, too?"

"Happened to me a bit when I first got here. It goes away, trust me."

She shrugged. "So, what've you been up to since you got blown up?"

"Nothing really. Marched through the Libyan terrorists getting chased by rabid mercenaries, killed a Lesser Hive Commander, and then got my throat sliced by an Avatar whose uncle I killed."

The look on her face said it all.

"So getting shot with a plasma launcher wasn't enough for you?"

"That's XCOM, baby."

I'm not scaring her, am I?

"You know," I said. "When I came here, I met Fiona right here." I tapped the floor.

"Fiona...that was who teleported you out, right?"

"Yep. She's…" I pursed my lips. "You'll find out soon enough.

The door opened, the entrance to the Orientation Room at the end of the hall.

"Well...there we go. You're on your own from here. I'll be waiting outside."

"It's Orientation, Dawn - can't be that big of a deal." She said. "What, it's just going to be about the rules and whatnot here?"

I pursed my lips, trying to hold back a laugh. "No. You'll see."

She raised an eyebrow. "Is this where I learn about those dark secrets you mentioned?"

I held up both hands. "No spoilers."

"Alright then. Guess I'll be back, then."

I gave her a serious look. "You ready?"

"I survived on my own for months in an alien-occupied South America. I think I'll be fine."

I nodded. "Alright. Just…" I gulped. "When you walk through that door, there's going to be some...things." I pursed my lips. "You're going to learn a lot that you'll find hard to believe, and it's a lot of responsibility." I pointed to that room. "What happens here in XCOM...stays in XCOM. You ready for that responsibility?"

She shifted. "I think so. Can't be that ridiculous, right?"

The urge to snort was strong. But I resisted.

So I just shrugged.

"Well then. Guess I'll be doing this."

"I'll be outside. I've got my schedule cleared for the day. How about I gave you the grand tour when you're done?"

She smirked. "You going to be holding my hand the whole time?"

"Only if you want me to."

"Ha!" She checked her phone. "Well, I'll be back. Probably some regular orientation crap. See ya."

I watched her as she walked through the sliding door, the white door closing behind her.

Good luck, Zoe.

You really do have no idea.

A/N: Special thanks to Edumesh for providing theSpanish translation for Violet. More of them will be appearing in the future, very grateful for his help. If you haven't, check out his XV Chronicles of Salvation story! It's very good.

To be continued in:

The Next Step in Life