Urusei Ranma

by kurenai ryu

We all know the story of how Ataru was chosen to go against Lum in that game of tag for the fate of the world, but what if fate had chosen another? What if a certain Wild Horse was chosen instead? Read and let us explore yet another interesting corner of the Ranmaverse in this tale of love, martial arts, and misunderstandings.

9. A New Lover And An Old Fear

A New Lover And An Old Fear?

Ranma and Lum were sitting with Nodoka as Ranma tried to explain what had just happened. Lum was huffing and turning her head away form Ranma, still mad about the accidental kiss that caused the whole mess, even if it wasn't his fault. Nodoka however...

"So, was she pretty?" She asked with a tilt of her head.

"HEY!" Lum said as she slamed her hand on the table. "That's not the issue here! The issue is that some bitch thinks that she can get between me and my Darling! AND I WON'T STAND FOR IT!"

"Lum-chan calm down." Ranma said as he patted his hands in the air. "I keep telling you, it was an accident. Blame Ryoga and those other idiots not me! Mostly Ryoga."

"I don't see what the big problem is." Nodoka butted in. "That law that the Emperor put into place gives you the right to marry as many women as you'd like so..."

"NO WAY!" Both Ranma and Lum shouted as they shot up to their feet, shouting in rage. Nodoka jumped back in slight shock.

"I didn't even WANT to be put under that stupid law! Lum-chan is enough for me. And I didn't even mean to kiss that other girl! It was Ryoga's fault for bashing me into her!" Ranma said in a huff.

"Stupid pig boy!" Lum said. "Now that stupid crow girl is trying to steal my Darling's virginity before I DO!"

That last part made Nodoka slip and fall.

"Wait, STEAL HIS VIRGINITY!? WITHOUT EVEN A FIRST DATE!? HOW BOLD!" Nodoka said.

"FOCUS!" Both teens said, snapping Nodoka back to reality.

"MOM! I need your help to straighten this mess out! What am I going to do?" Ranma asked. Nodoka took a breath before answering.

"Well son," She said. "I'm not sure what to tell you at this point."

"PARDON!" Lum said, slamming her hands on the table in rage. "What do you mean you don't know what to say!?"

"Lum dear," Nodoka said in a calming tone. "This one is really out of my hands. I mean, according to her laws, she and Ranma are betrothed. The only thing I think you can do is at least lay down the law and tell her that you had first dibs and that you're the head wife and she should answer to you."

"Thanks for nothing, mom." Ranma said as he got up to go to his room.

"Yeah, thanks for nothing mother-in-law." Lum said as she got up to follow Ranma. Nodoka sighed and shook her head.

"Oh boy. Why is my son just not taking advantage of his situation? Of well, I suppose there is something manly about that." She got up and headed for her own room.

Ranma sighed as he headed for his room, but then looked behind his shoulder and saw Lum was right behind him. He sighed again as he stopped and turned to face his girlfriend.

"Lum-chan, I want to be alone for a while." He said.

"No way!" Lum said shaking her head. "That crazy crow girl is still out there looking for you! I'm not leaving you alone for a minute."

"Lum, I'm serious." He said, all playfulness gone. Lum paled, she'd seen that serious look before, but she didn't like having it used on her.

"But..." She said. Ranma turned and opened his door.

"I just need some alone time Lum-chan. I'm tired and just need some sleep." He said as he closed the door. Lum just stood in front of the door, looking sad.

"Darling..." She said as she just sat in front of the door. She just wanted to protect her Darling. And what's worse, her own mother-in-law, instead of helping her put a stop to this madness, she was all for Ranma hooking up with multiple women. She sighed, sure she wanted Ranma to be happy but couldn't he be happy with just her and her alone!?

"What is up with the universe?" She said as she sat against the wall.

"Lum dear?" Nodoka said as she looked up to Lum from the bottom of the stairs. "If Ranma isn't up for your company, how would you like to spend some girl time with me?"

Lum looked at her mother-in-law.

"I guess." She said as she got up and tried to force a smile.

As for Ranma, he was just lying on his bed trying to wrap his head around what the heck had just happened to him. First an alien girlfriend, then that Hero's law thing, and now another alien girl wants to...SLEEP WITH HIM just because Ryoga bashed him into a kiss?

'Sigh. Geeze, how did this crap happen to me? I just wanted to be with Lum-chan and no one else so why did the universe throw this other girl at me? My head hurts.' Ranma thought to himself.

He sighed again as he rolled in his bed. He was just about to doze off when he heard his window open up. His eyes flung open and he sat up in his bed and nearly had a heart attack. Why?

"There you are, husband." Said non other than Kurama the Tengu princess.

"WH-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Ranma asked in shock.

"Why, what else?" She jumped onto Ranma and pinned him to the bed. "I'm here to seal our marriage."

She said as she leaned in to kiss him.

"HOLD IT!" He said as he flipped her off of him and managed to get off his bed and onto his feet.

"Look lady! I'll admit that you're hot and all, but I didn't mean to kiss you back there! It was an accident! I was pushed into it. And besides that, I'm already in a relationship." He said, his face red as can be. Kurama huffed and just stretched out on the bed.

"You mean that oni girl with the foul attitude? She doesn't seem that pretty to me." She said.

"Hey! That's my girlfriend you're talking about. She's just as hot and sexy as you are lady!" He said.

"Oh, well then, have you done it with her then?" Kurama asked. Ranma blushed and looked away.

"N-n-No! I mean, I'm not the kind of guy that just jumps into something like that. I...I mean, I...I don't just sleep with a girl out of the blue. I have too much honor for that."

"Too much honor?" Kurama asked. But before she could dive further, the door to the room burst open and in flew Lum.

"I KNEW IT! I knew you'd show your face here to steal my Darling you home wrecker!"

"HOMEWRECHER! I'm just here to claim my man! I don't know what he sees in you! I'm CLEARLY Sexier!" Kurama said. Lum got right in her face and an epic stare down began.

"You no good crow faced slut!" Lum said.

"You sexless hussy!" Kurama shot back.

"Bird brained bimbo!"

"Ozone breath tramp!"

As the two kept arguing, Ranma slipped out of the window and headed for the park.

"At least there I can be alone and get some SLEEP!" He said. Meanwhile, back in his room.

"What's going on in here!?" Nodoka said as she came into the room to see Lum and Kurama trying to strangle each other. She sighed, put two fingers in her mouth and whistled as loudly as she could.

The two fighting girls stopped what they were doing and looked to see Nodoka standing in the doorway, a very unpleasant look on her face. Lum smiled sheepishly as she knew her mother-in-law was NOT looking very happy.

"And who are you?" Kurama asked.

"I'm the mother of the man that you two seem to be fighting over." She said. Kurama paled.

"Uh...you're...his...mother...?" She said, a cold feeling of dread gripping her.

"And I have one question for you two girls. Where is my son?" She asked. And for the first time, they noticed that Ranma wasn't even around.

"Hey! Where did Darling go?" Lum asked.

"He vanished." Kurama said in shock. Nodoka sighed. While she was looking forward to having lots of grandchildren thanks to that Hero's Law, she was not very happy with how the first two lovers of her son where conducting themselves.

"I see that we're going to have to lay down some ground rules around here." She said, her hands lightly tracing along the handle of her sword. Lum and Kurama both gulped.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Came a loud scream that broke up whatever was going to happen.

"What the!?" Nodoka said looking towards the window.

"DARLING!" Lum cried as she flew out the window.

"Wait up! Hold on honey!" Kurama said as she flew after Lum.

"Wait for me girls!" Nodoka cried as she went down the stairs to follow the girls.

*A Few Minutes Earlier*

Ranma was sighing as he continued on his way. As he was lost in thought, his danger sense went off and he could swear he was being followed, but it wasn't by either of the two girls he was trying to get away from. He braced himself for whatever was going to happen and sure enough, Ataru leapt out with a hammer in his hands!

"Die you chick stealing bastard!" He cried, only to get kicked out of the air by Ranma.

"Really dude? I'm seriously not in the mood for this right now." Ranma said to the downed annoyance. Ataru looked up and growled at the pigtailed martial artist.

"You son of a bitch! You just can't be satisfied with one hot alien chick you just HAD to take the other one!"

Ranma sighed as he massaged his aching head.

"Dude, you really need to get a life and a clue. I didn't WANT to kiss that Kurama girl but I got bashed into it by accident! And besides, I wouldn't wish you on any innocent girl in this universe."

Now Ataru was REALLY getting mad. This Kung Fu movie reject had been nothing but trouble since he first showed up! First he gets the hot alien girl, then he ruins things between him and Shinobu, he screws up him becoming class president and NOW he ruined his chance to score with the sexy Tengu girl!

"You listen to me Ranma Saotome! I swear, with God as my witness, I WILL find your weakness and make your life a living HELL!"

Ranma just glared at the downed boy. He squatted down and looked Ataru right in the eye, a look of annoyance mixed with anger on his face.

"Listen here you stupid moron. You will NEVER find out MY weakness. That is one secret that I intend to take with me to the grave. And the only person whos' life is going to suffer for it, is yours."

With that, Ranma stood up and went on his way. As he kept walking, he thought about what Ataru said. His one REAL weakness. That was something he could NEVER let ANYONE find out! Not his mom, not Lum, not ANYBODY!

"It' too embarrassing. And mom definitely wouldn't see it as being very manly." He said to himself. As he was walking, he heard a noise.

"Who's there!?" Ranma said, turning to face whatever it was. But when he saw what it was...he paled.

"No. NO! STAY BACK! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Back to the present, Lum and Kurama were flying around, looking for Ranma. Lum was worried, she had never heard Ranma scream like that before. He always seemed so brave, whatever it was that made him scream like that must've been awful. As for Kurama, she was worried too. Ranma was the man she was destined to marry since he awakened her with a kiss, She didn't want to lose him before they even got to make love.

"DARLING!" Lum cried out. "DARLING! Where are you!?"

"Hey look! Down there!" Kurama cried. Lum looked down to where the other girl was pointing and saw Ranma, lying down on the ground, seemingly out cold.

"DARLING!" She cried as she and Kurama flew down to Ranma's side.

"GIRLS! Wait for...OH MY GOD! RANMA!" Cried Nodoka as she caught up to the two girls and nearly lost her mind at the sight of her one and only son down on the ground.

"Darling! Wake up! Please don't be dead! Wake up!" Lum cried hysterically as she shook Ranma's unconscious form.

"Please wake up handsome! Who did this to you!?" Kurama asked. Nodoka rushed to and knelt down to her poor son's side.

"Ranma! Please, wake up!"

Ranma's eyes started to twitch as he showed signs of waking up. As he was coming too, they all heard a noise. The very noise that sent chills of fear down poor Ranma's spine.

"Meow." The three girls looked to the side and saw a small cat, sitting in front of them. Ranma's eyes shot open and...

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"

With that, Ranma jumped right into the air and into the branches of a tree. The girls all looked up at the sight as Ranma clung for dear life to the branches of the tree, shaking in pure fright.

"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. The girls looked between him, the cat, then back to Ranma, then back to the cat again. Lum went to the cat, picked it up and then flew up to Ranma.

"You mean this little guy?" She asked.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Ranma screamed as he dived for the ground as fast as a rocket. Nodoka and Kurama both looked as the boy actually seemed to be digging a hole to hide in at speeds that would put a jet plain to shame.

"Huh?" They both said. Lum flew back to the ground, put down the kitty and shooed it away as she and the others looked down at the scared form of Ranma. Scared and shaking like he had just seen a scary horror movie for the first time.

"Ranma?" Nodoka asked. "Are you..."

"Scared of cats?" Kurama finished, looking very disappointed in the man she had earlier been trying to sleep with.

"Scared? Me? No." He said, only for Lum and Kurama to meow and scare him again.

"AAAAHH!" He jumped back up to the top of the tree again. "I'M TERRIFIED!"

"Ranma," Nodoka said, a disappointed look on her face. "Being scared of cats isn't very manly behavior you know."

"Yeah. It's...kind of a big turn off." Said an equally disappointed Kurama.

"It ain't my fault!" Ranma screamed in frustration. "It's my stupid pops' fault I'm like this in the first place!"

Upon hearing that sentence, Kurama became aware of a feeling of pure dread as she saw battle auras of pure, unparalleled rage coming from Lum and Nodoka.

"What. Was. That!?" Nodoka said, her thumb flicking the hilt of her sword so that the blade started to be drawn. Lum was sparking with lightning as she growled like a demon from hell. Kurama was both confused and a little scared.

"Um...am I missing something here?" She asked. Her answer, Nodoka did an iaido draw and slash that took down a nearby tree and Lum exploded in a blast of pure energy. Kurama fell to the ground, fear showing on her face.

"THAT BASTARD!" The once calm Nodoka screamed.

"I'LL KILL HIM!" Lum screamed. Ranma slid back to the ground, feeling bad for his old man. Hell truly hath no furry like a couple of women scorned.

"Just how bad is this dad of yours?" She asked Ranma. He scratched the back of his head.

"Pretty bad." Was all he said before Lum and Nodoka grabbed him by the collar.

"Ranma, sweety, what did that bastard do to you?" Nodoka asked.

"Darling, what did he do? I'll fry him till he's dead!" Lum exclaimed. Ranma sighed.

"It's a long story. But..." He sat down and sighed.

"Well, it all started back when I was six. Pop was looking for any and all good styles to learn in order to make me a great fighter. One day, he found an old instruction booklet on a style called the Neko-ken. He looked through it and thought that he could use it to make me unbeatable. But I wished he hadn't. The training for it was cruel to both me and well...the cats."

"Huh?" All three girls asked. Ranma sighed.

"Well, the training involved digging a pit and filling it with cats. And letting them starve for about a week."

"WHAT!?" The all cried in shock.

"It gets worse." Ranma said.

"After the week is up, the trainee is wrapped in fish products and then tossed into the pit and left there for 24 hours."

"SAY WHAT!?" Now all THREE girls were enraged!

"What kind of IDIOT does that to his own son!?" Kurama cried in rage and shock.

"Mine." Ranma said, resting his head in his palm.

"THAT BASTARD IS DEAD!" Lum screamed as she flew off to exact revenge on the fat panda.

"Where does this asshole live!?" Asked Kurama.

"Follow me." Said a very pissed Nodoka. As they sped off, Ranma whistled at the speed their were going. And at the fury he read in their eyes.

"Whelp, so long pop. I wish I could say it was nice knowing ya, but it hasn't."

Unknown to Ranma and the girls, Ataru was hiding behind another tree, listening to their conversation and heard Ranma's tale. He snickered at the chance fate had given him.

"You've got to be kidding me! Mister big bad Kung Fu star is afraid of CATS!? Hm hm hm hmph! Get ready to suffer Ranma! Tomorrow I'll embarrass you in front of the whole school, AND show those two alien hotties that I'M the one they should be with!"

Little did the three girls and Ataru know that Ranma didn't tell them the whole story about the Neko-ken. They only heard the first half, not the part that came after those horrible 24 hours...

Meanwhile, a VERY pissed off Lum smashed her way through the door of the Tendo home as she searched for the man that did such horrible things to her Darling.

"Where is he!? Where is that son of a bitch!?" She said as she tore through the house.

"What in blazes!?" Soun said as he came out to see the alien that ruined his and Genma's plans for uniting the schools blasting her way through his home.

"Now see here you..." He started to say before Lum flew right up to him, her body covered with an aura of electric energy and her hair constantly switching colors but staying on red for a half second longer than any of the other colors.

"WHERE IS THAT FAT PANDA BASTARD!?" Lum shouted at the scared long-haired man. Soun started to panic, he may be an idiot, but he knew what this woman was capable of when enraged.

"Um...(Gulp)...I...really have no idea." He said, forcing a smile. Lum growled.

"You're lying!" She said through gritted teeth. Soun started to panic even more.

"OUTSIDE! Last I saw him he was outside! We were playing shogi out by the koi pond!" He said.

"Thanks." Lum said before flying off to kill a panda. Before he could breathe a sigh of relief, two more women charged into his home. None other than Nodoka and Kurama.

"What the!?" Soun cried in shock and soon found the blade of a katana up against his throat.

"Where. Is. My. EX-Husband?" She asked as she pushed the blade of her sword even more against Soun's throat. He gulped as he looked into her eyes.

"Outside! At the koi pond! Honest!" He said. Nodoka nodded her head as she pulled back her sword.

"Thanks." She then rushed out with Kurama right on her heels. As the two woman made their way outside, Akane and her sisters opened a door to see what was going on. They were shocked to see both Nodoka and an attractive looking girl dressed like a hooker with her hair styled like crow wings.

"What the!? Who the heck is that girl with miss Nodoka?" Akane asked. Nabiki snapped a picture of Kurama as she ran outside.

"I don't know, but she's got a nice ass. And her boobs look slightly bigger than Lum's. Maybe I can take a few pictures and sell them to some horny boys." She said. Akane and Kasumi both looked at their sister with disgust.

"Nabiki!?" Akane shouted.

"Really Nabiki, still planning to try and sell pictures to people without other people's consent? Haven't you learned your lesson after Ranma and Lum electrocuted you all those times?" Kasumi asked with the look of a disappointed mother.

"Look proper patrol," Nabiki said, not batting an eye at their words. "Daddy doesn't have a job and my dirty business is the only thing keeping us from ending up on the streets. So until one of you gets a job that can pay the bills, don't try and pull the holier than thou crap with me."

Meanwhile outside, Genma was trying to relax in panda form but then he heard Lum crashing through the house looking for him. He began to panic and started to get ready to run, but then said alien crashed through the door and looked right at the soon to be dead panda man.

"YOU!" She said as her fair flashed different colors and her body looked as if it were conducting its own thunderstorm. Genma gulped as he tried to back away from the angry alien.

"You just CAN'T stop pissing me off, CAN YOU!? Just how many times are you going to screw over your own son!? Just how much of an idiotic father ARE YOU!? YOU BASTARD!" Lum screamed as she fired off a huge blast of electricity at Genma.

The poor old man never got a chance to defend himself as he was hit with the full force of the blast. As Genma was friend and fell to the ground, Nodoka and Kurama burst through the doorway and saw Lum about to renew her attack on Genma. But whereas Nodoka was preparing to join in, Kurama was confused.

"Wait, where is this Genma guy? All I see is one of those Earth creatures called a panda." She said. Before Nodoka could say anything, a splash of hot water, curtesy of none other than Lum, showed that the panda was in fact a bald old man. Kurama was shocked at the sight until Lum cleared things up.

"I'll make this short, here on Earth, magic is real, and this idiot fell into a spring that was cursed to turn people into pandas. And he's Darlings' bastard of a father."

Kurama's eyes went wide, then narrowed as she saw the man that had cursed her husband to be with his fear of cats. Genma shook his head but suddenly wished he was dead as the tengu girl and his ex-wife walked up to him with murder in their eyes.

"Um...Nodoka! Um, I see you have a new friend! Uh...look, I'm sure whatever this is about it's all just a misunderstanding." He tried to say.

"Do the words, 'Neko-ken' sound like a misunderstanding to you?" She said with a growl. Genma paled to the shade of a corpse as his body went limp.

'Oh no...he told them about THAT!' He thought to himself.

"And throwing your own six year old SON into a pit of CATS!?" Kurama added in, a purple aura of rage forming around her.

"While wrapped in FISH GUTS!" Lum shouted as she was covered with lightning again. Genma, showing for once in his life the signs of a brain, just sighed and resigned himself to his fate.

"Just get it over with." He said in defeat.

And with that, all three girls set about to bash the ever-living crap out of Genma, who screamed like a little girl as his karma finally caught up to him. As this was going on, Soun and his daughters where all listening to the conversation that had just taken place. While Akane still had a feeling that the stripper looking black-haired girl was probably some new conquest of Ranma's, her anger was doused by the words the three girls said about Genma. Neko-ken? A pit of starving cats? Fish guts? HIS SIX YEAR OLD SON!? They couldn't be talking about Ranma...right?

"Dad," Akane said. "You don't think that Mr. Saotome actually threw Ranma into a pit of cats when he was six, do you?"

"I..." Soun was at a loss for words. "I...No! Of course not! Saotome would never do something like that to his own son. I...I think?" Honestly, he wasn't so sure right now.

"I for one wouldn't put it past him." Nabiki said. "He'd swindle a blind old grandma out of her false teeth."

"Oh my. He wouldn't dare do that to Ranma...but...but what if he did? I mean, he didn't exactly but up a fight when they brought those allegations up."

"No..." Soun said in shock and disbelief. "Saotome, you wouldn't. Would you?"

After another few minutes, Nodoka and the two alien beauties marched out of the Tendo home and headed for Nodoka's home. Akane wanted to ask about what they had over heard and who the crow haired girl was, but the auras of malice that were coming off of the three girls made her scared to even approach them. After they left, Akane and the others went out to see if ANYTHING was left of Genma.

Sure enough, there he was, beaten to a pulp and looking as if he might as well be dead. Genma moaned, showing that he was still amongst the living, and Akane and Soun lead the charge to the beaten old man to get some answers.

"Saotome, tell the truth! You didn't REALLY throw your own son into a pit of cats when he was just six, right!?" Soun asked his old friend. Genma moaned as he rolled onto his back then sat up. He sighed knowing that he had no choice but to tell them about one of his very, VERY few regrets.

"I'm sad to say Tendo but...yes. It's true. All of it."

Akane hit him with everything she had. Throwing as much rage at him as the previous three girls did.

"HOW COULD YOU!?" She screamed. "YOUR OWN SON!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"I must admit," Nabiki chimed in. "Your idea of punishing a child is pretty crule. And that's coming from me."

"IT WASN'T TO PUNISH HIM!" Genma shot back, causing everyone to jump in shock.

"It was so that Ranma could learn an unbeatable martial arts technique called the Neko-ken, or Cats fist."

"Cats fist?" Akane asked.

"I've never heard of such a thing." Soun added in. Genma sighed and asked them to wait as he went to his room to retrieve something. After a moment, he returned and showed them a scroll that contained the secret of the Cats Fist technique.

"Let's see." Soun said as he read from the scroll.

"In order to learn this technique, first one must dig a hole and fill it with cats. Then leave the cats to starve for a WEEK!?"

"*GASP!* How cruel!" Kasumi said as Soun continued.

"Then, wrap the trainee in fish products and leave them in the pit for 24 hours. If they survive the power of the Cats Fist will be theirs. Warning: Only a complete IDIOT would put someone through this!?" He finished.

"Who puts a warning like that at the end of a scroll and not at the beginning!?" Akane cried out. Genma sighed.

"It's one of my few regrets in life. I thought this would make Ranma unstoppable, but it gave him a crippling fear of cats instead." He said.

"ANYONE would have a fear of cats after something like that." Nabiki said. Kasumi actually got up and SLAPPED Genma across the face.

"Mr. Saotome, you can get your own food from now on. I refuse to cook for you any longer." She said and simply walked away. Genma sighed, honestly, he wasn't surprised.

"Really Saotome, I'm disappointed in you. How could you put your own child through this sort of Hell? Even if it was for the sake of our art?" Soun said as he got up and left, not wanting to look at his old friend.

"I ought to kick you out of the house you...you...BASTARD!" Akane said as she kicked Genma as hard as she could and stomped off. But as Nabiki left with the rest of her family, not really having anything to say to Genma at all, Genma's mind was wandering one fearful thing.

'I wonder if Ranma told those women about the OTHER side effect of the Neko-ken training...?'

Later that night, right before everyone sat down to dinner, Nabiki heard a knock at the door and went to see who it was. It was none other than Ataru, the very man she had paid for information about Ranma's whereabouts.

"What is it Moroboshi?" She asked. Ataru grinned.

"Well, since your phone number is too rich for me right now, do you have the contact information for these three guys that attacked Ranma earlier today? One was a samurai wannabe wearing a blue kimono, the other was some guy in a yellow shirt and the other was some kiss obsessed pretty boy. I think it was that figure skater that was partners with that super hot cutie Azusa!" He said with a perverted grin. Nabiki sighed and pulled out a notepad and wrote down what he wanted.

"Tatewaki Kuno and Mikado Sanzenin. The one in yellow is Ryoga Hibiki and I don't have his info. He's always traveling." She said as she tore off the slip of paper she was writing on. She was about to give it to him but then pulled it back.

"2500 yen." She said. Ataru pulled out the money and gave it to her. Nabiki was a little shocked, he didn't even try to haggle.

"Why do you want these two bums?" She asked. Ataru chuckled.

"They're going to help me get my revenge on Ranma! I FINALLY know his one weakness!" Ataru said as he ran off to prepare his great revenge scheme. Nabiki tilted her head, but then just shrugged and went off to eat.

"Not my problem." Was all she said.

That evening, Kuno and Mikado ended up in the same meeting place on the border of Nerima and Tomobiki. Kuno and Mikado were both surprised to see each other again.

"Mikado-san! What brings you to this infernal place at such an hour?" Kuno asked. Mikado scoffed.

"I could ask you the same thing, kendo boy. I received this letter asking me to meet someone here. I assumed that it was another one of my adoring female fans, but I find you, a man who got in the way of both my vengeance against Ranma and claiming my TRUE 1000th kiss."

Kuno growled at the figure skater and brandished his sword.

"Vile villain! You are the one who got in the way of me claiming that beautiful woman as my wife! You and that vile sorcerer Saotome are cut from the same cloth!" Kuno exclaimed, causing Mikado to growl and take up a fighting stance of his own.

"How DARE you compare me to that bastard! I swear I'll..."

"HEY!" Came a third voice that cut the two off from their fight. "Cut it out and save the ruff stuff for Ranma you guys!"

The two fighters turned to see none other than Ataru Moroboshi walking up to them. The two fighters scoffed at the pathetic horn dog that they dealt with during the fight for Kurama's kiss.

"What do you want you mongral?" Mikado asked.

"I agree with the pretty boy here, was it you that called us here and if so, why?" Kuno asked. Ataru sighed.

"I just told you, I want you guys to help me take down that stupid girl stealer, Ranma!" Ataru exclaimed. Both boys just turned their heads in disgust at the horny boy.

"Yeah right! Last I checked, you weren't exactly much of a fight against Ranma when we last saw you handle him. Why should we help you now?" Mikado asked. Ataru chuckled.

"Because, I know Ranma's one true weakness." Ataru said smugly. At this, both Kuo and Mikado bursted out laughing.

"AH HA HA HA HA! Oh please! You actually expect us to believe that you found Saotome's fatal weakness!? That's a laugh!" Kuno said.

"I agree!" Mikado said. "Like we'd believe that you had such information. Don't waste our time you pathetic cockroach." The two boys turned and prepared to walk away.

"Ok." Ataru said as he too started to turn to walk away. "If you guys REALLY want to spend the rest of your lives losing to Ranma, that's fine by me."

But just as he said that, he found himself unable to walk forward. Ataru turned around and found that somehow, both Kuno and Mikado, while still having their backs to Ataru, had closed the distance between them and were holding onto the back of Ataru's shirt.

"Well?" Mikado asked.

"Well what?" Ataru asked.

"What's Saotome's weakness?" Kuno asked. Ataru just smirked. Now he had almost all the pieces he needed to take his revenge on Ranma.

The next day, Ranma was trying to relax at school. His head hurt from listening to Kurama and Lum arguing all the time, and what's worse, the crow tengu that accompanied Kurama kept pestering him to sleep with Kurama and finish the tradition of marriage. That REALLY pissed him off. He literally just got out of one forced marriage and now someone was trying to force him into another one.

He sighed. Why did this crap have to happen to him? All he wanted was to live his life HIS WAY! Study martial arts, finish up school, spar with some rivals, create his OWN style, and maybe someday teach students of his own and also...maybe...start a family? But as he was thinking this last part, his danger sense kicked into high alert!

A crash came from the opposite wall caused him and the other students to dive for the ground. As Ranma looked up he was shocked to see Kurama smirking down at him. He gulped, why did she have to look so freaking hot!?

"Uh...h-hey Kurama." He said sheepishly. Kurama just grinned seductively.

"Hello lover. I've had enough of you playing hard to get. Now...TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES AND LET'S START MATING ALREADY!"

That last comment got the whole classroom to cry out in shock!

"SAOTOME! What's the meaning of this!? This isn't a love hotel it's a HIGH SCHOOL!" Shouted the teacher.

"SHUT UP AND SCRAM YOU!" Kurama shouted back at him as she swung her leaf shaped fan and created a huge gust of wind that sent him flying into next week. Ranma went wide eyed and couldn't help but whistle.

"Dang. Didn't know she could do that." He said.

"Ranma!" Shinobu and a few other of his classmates called out.

"Huh?" He asked.

"WHAT THE HELL MAN!? You're cheating on Lum with this bimbo!?" One of the boys cried out.

"BIMBO!?" Kurama screamed. "Now you're dead too!"

And with that she gave a mighty kick that sent the poor guy crashing through the roof. Ranma sighed, yet ANOTHER misunderstanding! Story of his life.

"Look guys, this is all a misunderstanding. One of my rivals smashed me into an accidental kiss and now she thinks we're supposed to be married." He said in an annoyed tone of voice.

"But didn't you tell her that?" Shinobu asked.

"It doesn't matter if it was an accident or not!" Came the annoying voice of the Tengu elder. Ranma growled, he was suddenly in the mood for crow fricassee.

"The point of the matter is that he kissed for so now he must engage in a night of amoraus congress with the princess!"

"If I hear you say that ONE MORE TIME I'm going to roast you over a fire!" Ranma said as he threw a few pencils at the crow and his entourage of fellow Tengu attendants. They all cried out in shock as they dodged the projectiles that would of shish kabobbed them.

"Come on husband! Let's stop beating around the bush." Kurama said as she wrapped her arms around Ranma, making him blush at how close she was pushing him towards ample bosom.

"Um! You DO remember that I'm dating someone else right now RIGHT!?" Ranma said as he tried to escape from the Tengu girls embrace.

"Well she ain't here so..." She then yanked him out the window and towards what looked like the ship Goku went to Namik on.

"It's time to make babies!"

"What the heck is THAT thing!?" Ranma asked in shock.

"It's our love nest." Kurama said in a seductive voice.

"NO NO NO NO NO!" Ranma said as he fought his way out of the Tengu girls' grip and flipped back to the ground. "I'm not ready to be a dang dad yet!"

"And besides! You can't just go around making love hotels on school grounds!" Shinobu said.

"Yeah! This is a place of learning not some sex palace you whore!" Said another girl said.

"OH SHUT UP! I'll have you know that childbearing is a holy right in my culture! And I don't have to stand here and take guff from a bunch of sissy, prissy little girls with no figures!" Kurama shouted back at the girls that were trying to bad mouth her.

"Dang, I'm pretty sure she just pissed off a heck of a lot of woke feminists with that one." Ranma said as he tried to sneak away, only to be grabbed by Kurama.

"And where do you think you're going?" She asked in an annoyed voice.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF HIM YOU BITCH!" Came the cry of Lum as she flew right into the boy and Tengu. The three rolled on the ground in a heap as the two alien girls fought over Ranma.

"Let go of him you home wrecker!" Lum shouted as she yanked on one of Ranma's arms.

"You let go you shameless hussy!" Kurama shouted back as she pulled on Ranma's other arm. They both kept pulling and yanking as Ranma started to get REALLY pissed at all this madness.

"HEY!" He shouted, getting their attention. "That noise your hearing is my arms coming out of their sockets! LET GO!"

They both let go. As soon as they did Ranma stood up and unceremoniously bobbed both girls on top of their heads.

"OWIE!" They both cried as they massaged the lumps on their heads.

"DARLING! That HURT!" Lum said.

"Yeah, what the heck?" Kurama asked in pain.

"That's for treating me like I'm some kind of DAMN TROPHY! I AM A HUMAN BEING! SO STOP ACTING LIKE BRATS AND TREAT ME LIKE ONE!" He shouted at the both of them.

"HEY!" Shutaro shouted as he drew his sword from nowhere and charged at Ranma, reminding him of the rich boys' cousin.

"NO HITTING LADIES!" As he tried to strike, Ranma kicked him so hard he went flying into low Earth orbit.

"AAHHHH SHUT UP!" Ranma said as all the girls, minus the two aliens, cried in fright for their favorite boy.

"Darling..." Lum started to say, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to act like that. It's just that this woman keeps trying to take you away form me!"

"Well in accordance to MY people traditions..." Kurama started to say before Ranma cut her off.

"SCREW YOUR TRADITIONS! WE'RE NOT ON YOUR PLANET!" Ranma shouted.

"We're on Earth! And on Earth people have a right NOT to marry someone if they don't DAMN want to! GET IT!"

BOY did it feel good to get THAT off his chest. He hated shouting at girls and especially making them cry, but this whole mess was getting out of hand, and he NEEDED to stop this before he went crazy. But to his sorrow, Kurama started crying.

"But...but the tradition..."

"She's right!" The Tengu elder said. "The tradition of our people MUST be fulfilled!"

"Or else WHAT you cousin to a roasted duck!?" Ranma shouted at the bird that was starting to get on his last nerve.

"Well..." The Tengu elder trailed off as he and Ranma stared each other down. The whole classroom fell into a dead silence as the two looked like they were about to come to blows as they glared at one another. Ranma clenched his fists, ready to spring into action at a moment's notice.

"...You know what? I don't really know."

BLOP!

Everyone face faulted at the elder's words.

"SAY WHAT!?" Everyone, including Kurama cried out.

"What do you mean you don't know!? Surely this stupid tradition has some kind of punishment for not going through with it, right!?" Kurama shouted as she grabbed the elder and yanked him close.

"Well, I'm sure it does but I don't really know what it is. No one's ever actually refused to go through with it before." The elder said.

"Well, looks like I'M the first." Ranma said, crossing his arms.

"Well, you better find out WHAT that punishment is!" Kurama said as she tightened her grip on the elder.

"And while you're at it, why don't you find out WHY this stupid tradition got started in the first place? Cause if you ask me, this forced marriage stuff is for the birds. Pun not intended." Ranma said.

And that's exactly what they did. The Tengu Elder went back to their ship and pulled out a computer that held within it, the memories of all the previous elders that came before the current one. They pulled up the A.I. of the previous elder and asked him about the tradition but he didn't really know the punishment or the reason behind it.

So they asked the one before him, he didn't know either. So they asked the one before him...still no answer. And the same for the one before him, and the one before him, and the one before him...

"This is getting (yawn) ridiculous." Ranma said.

"I'll say." Lum, who was resting on Ranma's left shoulder said.

"For once, I'm with you sister." Kurama, who was on Ranma's right shoulder said with a yawn of her own.

"ENOUGH OF THIS! We're going to have to go all the way back to the first elder of our people!" Said the elder as he pulled up an image of a crow dressed almost like a caveman.

"(Whistle) Just how far back did you end up going?" Ranma asked.

"120 or so generations." The elder answered.

"Hey you!" Kurama said as she pointed her leaf fan to the screen. "You're the one who created the marriage tradition right!?"

"Yes I am. And I made it a point to never reveal the reason why I did." The image said.

"Say what!? That's stupid!" Ranma said as he jumped to his feet.

"Yeah!" Kurama agreed. "Generations of my people have been living their whole lives in dedication to this tradition. And I've lost quite a bit of my youth adhering to this tradition, I have a right to know why this rule was made in the first place."

"Oh, very well then." The first elder relented.

"It all started many years ago. Our tribe and our world was in dire peril when our princess was kidnapped by a great evil. I alone was chosen to set forth and rescue our tribe's princess. I faced many trials, dangerous enemies and an ancient and powerful evil. My journey was long and hard, and many times I thought of giving up."

As the first elder spoke, the screen showed various images that must have been taken from his memories. It showed a younger version of the elder setting forth on his journey, scaling mountains, transversing rugged terrain, and facing what looked like a giant dark aura covered cat. Ranma looked away to hide his fear as the two alien girls patted him on the back in sympathy.

"But I persevered and fought on. Eventually, I finally vanquished the evil that threatened my people. And when the battle was over, I found myself in a field and in that field, I saw her. The kidnapped princess of my people. She was so beautiful, I knew it was wrong of me, but I just couldn't resist or stop myself. I kissed the sleeping maiden."

It then showed images that matched his following words. Ranma and the others felt kind of cringy when they saw the young elder crow kissing the sleeping crow princess. Then it showed them getting married.

"It must have been fate. For no sooner after she and I returned to our tribe, the two of us were married." The elder finished as the screen went back to showing his face.

"That's...a nice and kind of romantic story and all..." Ranma said as he trailed off, only to be cut off by Kurama, who was starting to lose her patience.

"I don't give a crap about your sappy memories! I want to know WHY you created this stupid tradition in the first place!"

"Actually, that WAS the reason." The first elder said with a smile. Everyone just looked at him in confusion.

"HUH!?" The all said in unison.

"You see, I never wanted to forget how my wife and I met, so I turned my young adventure into a tradition so that I would always..." The first elder didn't get a chance to finish as Kurama smashed the screen with the control consol.

"You mean to tell me..." Kurama said as tears started to form in her eyes. "That all this time...(hic) that I've been living my life...(hic) upholding a tradition that...(sniff) that was utterly MEANINGLESS!?"

As much as the woman had driven him crazy over the last two days, Ranma couldn't help but feel bad for the poor Tengu girl. He watched as she walked into the strange looking ball shaped pod that was supposed to be their 'love nest' as she called it. Taking a deep breath, Ranma cursed himself for being such a dang nice guy and followed after the crying girl.

"Darling! Where are you going MISTER!" Lum said as she grabbed Ranma's wrist.

"Well I can't just stand here while that girl cries her heart out, can I?" Ranma said. Lum gave a half hearted glare at Ranma.

"But Darling..." She said. But she saw the look in Ranma's eyes. It was a look she knew well, a sad and sympathetic resolve.

"I'm sorry Lum-chan." He said as he slipped out of Lum's grip. "But I just can't stand to see a girl cry. I wouldn't be a man if I just left her like this. It's just not in me."

And with that, Ranma walked into the sphere-shaped dome to talk to the crying Tengu girl. Lum sighed, she could understand Ranma's reasoning, it was the same reasoning that led to him avenging Akane during the whole Mikado incident. As much as she didn't like him comforting a rival for his affections, she did have t admit that this sympathy of his was one of the things she loved about him.

When Ranma got inside the pod, he shuddered at the things he saw in there. It really DID look like a dang Love Hotle room. He shook his skittishness off and walked over to the bed where Kurama was sitting down and crying into her hands. Ranma cursed to himself, with his luck this would only make things worse for him but he couldn't leave a girl sad like this. It wasn't very manly.

"Hey." He said as he walked over to the crying girl.

"What do you want?" Kurama said as she turned her head so as either to not look at Ranma or to not let him see her.

"Well," He said, trying to find the right words to explain his being here while taking a seat next to the Tengu princess.

"I don't really like seeing girls cry." Was all he managed to say. Then he smiled sheepishly "Penny for your thoughts?"

Kurama gave him a look that asked the question of if he were nuts or not.

"I'm sorry, I'm not really good at the whole, pep talk and talking about feelings thing. I didn't exactly have a good role model to teach me that kind of stuff." He said. Kurama rubbed her eyes to get the tears out before she responded.

"So I've noticed." She said. "I just can't believe this. All my life I was groomed for this dumb tradition and I find out that it was all completely pointless. Just so some old fart could relieve the only exciting thing he ever did in his whole life. Now what am I supposed to do?"

She started to cry again and Ranma started to freak.

"Hey hey! Don't cry." He tried to comfort her. Kurama just glared at him.

"Oh, what should I do then!? LAUGH!?" She shouted at him. Ranma waved his hands in defense.

"No no! That's not what I meant!" Ranma tried to defend himself. "I mean, yeah I get it, this sucks but look at the bright side."

"What bright side!?" Kurama snapped at him.

"Well," Ranma started to say, and then an idea popped into his head. "I mean, this technically could be a good thing for you. I mean, what if the guy who kissed you awake was a totally jerk wad or some horrible bastard!? Then you'd be stuck with him forever. But now that you know that the tradition is bogus, that means you're free to marry whoever you'd like! Isn't that a good thing?"

Kurama blinked, she hadn't thought of that.

"But...I..." She stuttered. "I don't even know what kind of guy I should be looking for. Ever since I was told about this tradition, all I wanted was a handsome husband so that I would at least be stuck with someone good looking."

"Oh." Ranma said. "Well...there must have been a time before you got stuck in this stupid tradition. Didn't you have some idea of what kind of guy you wanted to be with that didn't just involve him being handsome? Right?"

Kurama thought about it. It had been so long since she had all her freedom of choice basically taken away, did she have some idea of what kind of man she wanted to marry? Looks were important, but...was there anything, ANYTHING else...

Suddenly, her eyes went wide. She started to remember when she was a little girl, spending time with her family. There WAS something, more like, someone that she always thought was the best baseline to judge men on. It had been so long she had almost forgotten...

"Well," She finally said. "I guess...forget it."

"What?" Ranma asked. Kurama just shook her head.

"Forget it." She said again, turning her head away for him.

"No, come on. Tell me. I promise not to laugh." He said, scooting closer to her. Kurama sighed.

"My father." She finally said.

"Huh?" Ranma said, tilting his head. Kurama took a deep breath.

"My father." She said again.

"When I was a little girl, growing up on my home planet, I always looked up to my father. He was kind, funny, honest, brave, strong. To me, he was the perfect man. Whenever I saw him and mom together, I always thought to myself that THIS is what I want my husband to be like. I wanted him to be as brave and kind as my father."

Ranma saw the teary-eyed smile that crossed Kurama's face as she reminisced about her father. In all honesty he was jealous. His father was a douche bag and a lying creep. Sure in some way he did love his old man but...

'Actually...' Ranma thought to himself. 'I don't think I ever heard pop say he loved me. Not even once.'

Now Ranma was REALLY jealous. Not just of Kurama but of everyone he'd ever seen with their fathers. This girl right next to him looked up to her father so much that she wanted to marry a person that was similar to him. While Ranma's dad had absolutely no redeeming qualities besides his skill in the martial arts to speak of. He looked back to Kurama and couldn't fight back a smile of his own as he saw the sad smile on her face.

"You uh...really looked up to him, huh?" Ranma finally said, breaking the silence.

"Yes." Kurama nodded as she wiped away a tear. "He was the perfect man, always helping people and making mom and me smile." She turned back to Ranma.

"I guess, if I really had to choose a man on my own, and now that I guess I technically can...I'd like to find a man like that. One who he is handsome, brave, strong and can..." She trailed off as she looked into Ranma's stormy blue eyes. And despite himself, Ranma couldn't resist looking back into her beautiful purple eyes.

"And what?" He asked, as the two teens slowly and unknowingly started to close the gap between themselves.

"...Someone who can...make me smile..." Kurama said as their eyes started to close...

"CUT THE CRAAAAAAPPPPPPP!" And JUST LIKE THAT, their moment was RUINED by Ataru crashing into the pod.

"WHAT THE!?" Both teens cried as Ataru, carrying a large sack over his shoulders, crash landed between the two of them.

"Only ONE MAN is allowed to get touchy-feely with ANYONE around here AND THAT'S ME!" He said as he threw the contents of the bag at Ranma.

"Meow! Meow! Meow!"

"C-c-c...CATS!" Ranma screamed as a hord of cats came rushing out of the bag and charged right at him.

"Oh no! Ranma!" Kurama cried out, only to be restrained by Ataru.

"See Kurama baby! Ranma's no good for you. See how scared he is of those itty-bitty kitties! You need a REAL man like me!" Said the horny douche bag as he tried to fondle Kurama. Kurama growled at the pervy boy and stomped on his foot before smashing her head into his nose.

"Back off you creep!" She screamed as she turned around and elbowed Ataru in the gut before punching him into the wall.

"Hang on Ranma! I'm coming!" Kurama said as she ran to Ranma.

"Get them off! Get them off! GET THEM OFF!" He screamed in fright, his fear taking away all reason. Kurama was about to reach him when two other figures dropped in front of her. It was Kuno and Mikado, the other two people that fought over her when Ranma kissed her awake. She remembered her attendants and Lum telling her about them, but she didn't remember them having cat ears and whiskers...

'Wait...Uh oh!' She thought to herself as realization dawned on her! They knew of Ranma's fear too!

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Ranma screamed as his two enemies dropped in fornt of him in cat get ups. They laughed at the sight in front of them.

"HA HA HAHA HAHAHA! It's TRUE! IT'S ACTUALLY TRUE! He really IS afraid of cats!" Mikado exclaimed.

"AAHAHAHAHAH! To think, the vile sorcerer Saotome, afraid of something so mundane as a cat! AH HA HA HA! This is TOO RICH!" Kuno said as he and Mikado started making cat noises to keep scaring Ranma.

"Leave him alone!" Kurama shouted at the two nut jobs. But she was once again grabbed by Ataru.

"Let go you pervy masochist!" Kurama said as she tried to knock Ataru off of her. But the pervy idiot was as stubborn as he was horny.

"Forget it!" He said. "And besides, Ranma is a total pansy! I mean look at him!" Ataru said as he pointed at Ranma. His fear had gotten to him so bad that he fainted right on the spot.

"HA HA HA HA! AT LAST! VENGENCE IS MINE!" Mikado said as he kicked at the downed Ranma as he was surrounded by the cats that Ataru set lose.

"Finally! The great Tatewaki Kuno has vanquished the vile Saotome!" Kuno said as he laughed at his foes defeat.

"The only vile ones around here are you three idiots! You cowards! How DARE you take advantage of his fear like that! You creeps are just mad that you could NEVER beat him in a fair fight!" Kurama shouted at the three of them.

"Ah, what would you know?" Ataru said.

"Only cowards gang up on a single person!" Kurama said as she hammer fisted Ataru in the groin. As she slipped out of his grasp, Mikado swept her off her feet.

"Now my dear, let me grant you...OOFFPH!" Mikado was cut off by a kick to the groin from Kurama and then a flying kick form Lum!

"Back off ASSHOLE!" Lum shouted as she landed next to Kurama.

"Are you ok?" Lum asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But Ranma isn't, look!" Kurama said as she pointed towards the downed martial artist.

"DARLING!" Lum cried out.

"I'm right here Lum baby!" Ataru said, only to get double kicked by Lum and Kurama into the still gloating Kuno.

"Not you, ya stupid man whore!" Lum said in a angry huff.

"How did these idiots even get in here!?" Kurama asked. Lum sighed.

"I turned my back for a minute after Darling went in to talk to you. But then my friend Shinobu told me she saw Ataru and those other idiots breaking in! And when I saw that two of them were dressed like cats, I knew they must have somehow found out Darlings' fear." Lum said. Kurama saw the pained look in the Oni girls' eyes.

"I should have paid more attention. I should have seen them coming sooner. But I swear I'll make these three PAY!" Lum said as she sparked with electricity. Kurama nodded and took up a fighting stance of her own. The stance of Tengu-Do, the martial art of her home planet.

"I'm right with ya, sister." She said as she got ready to fight alongside her love rival.

"Both space beauties in front of me! Now I can get my 1000th and my 1001st kiss!" Mikado said, only to be hit over the head by Ataru.

"FAT CHANCE CASANOVA! I only brought you two here to take care of Ranma! The girls are both MINE!" Ataru said, only to be hit over the head by Kuno's sword.

"You both can have Saotome's Oni demon form the sky, but the beautiful Tengu maiden is mine!" He said. Lum and Kurama both looked deadpanned at the three morons that just couldn't get it through their heads that the two of them weren't interested in any of them. Right before the two girls could voice their concerns, all five teens heard a noise from the other side of the pod.

"...Meow..." That one meow actually made ALL the cats in the pod run for the other side of the room.

"What the?" Kurama said as she and the others looked towards the source of the noise. What they saw was Ranma starting to stand up, but on all fours.

"Heh, still want more huh tuff guy?" Ataru said as he put on a pair of cat ears and whiskers of his own and he and the other two rivals all meowed at Ranma. Only thing was, he didn't seem to flinch this time. In fact he just stood there on all fours, growling with his eyes closed.

"Huh?" Ataru said in confusion. "I said Meow jackass!"

Ranma growled again. And then...

"Meow..." He said as he opened his eyes to reveal that the pupils were slitted, like the eyes of a cat. Ranma started to crawl on the floor like a cat, his eyes glaring at the three that had come to take advantage of his fear.

"What the? Hey! Why aren't you scared? And what the heck are you doing?" Ataru said. Ranma just meowed again as he stalked towards his three foes.

"Ha ha ha! I don't believe this! The vile Saotome has gone so crazed with fear that he thinks he himself is a cat!" Kuno said with a laugh.

"Oh this is rich!" Mikado said as he walked towards the cat like boy.

"Here kitty kitty..."

"MEOW!" Ranma cried as he lunged at Mikado and started tearing him to pieces.

"AAAAGGGGHHH!" Mikado cried as he was clawed to death by Ranma, acting like he was an actual cat!

"What the heck!?" Lum cried out.

"AAHHH!" Kurama exclaimed as she took a step back, being frightened by the brutality of Ranma's animalistic assault.

"WHOA!" Ataru said as Ranma finished Mikado and turned back to the pervy boy and the samurai nut.

"Stand back, all of Yee!" Kuno said as he readied his sword. "I, Tatewaki Kuno shall smite this fiend!"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Kurama and Lum said. But their words fell on death ears as Kuno lunged for Ranma...only for Ranma to shred Kuno's sword into wood shavings.

"What manner of sorcery!?" Kuno said as he looked at what remained of his sword.

"D-Did you see that?" Lum asked a startled Kurama.

"I-I..." She stammered. "I think so?"

"What the Hell!? Are the both of you really that useless?" Ataru said as he picked up the bed and prepared to smash Ranma with it. Ranma turned his eyes to Ataru and leapt at him, shredding the bed to ribbons.

"HUH!?" Ataru said as Ranma then proceeded to go 'Cat Scratch Fever' on Ataru. Kuno pulled another sword from out of nowhere and tried to attack Ranma form behind, but Ranma turned and lashed out with a barrage of kicks that sent Kuno flying.

Mikado returned to his feet and attacked Ranma alongside a badly scratched up Ataru. Ranma turned and moved at blinding speed, knocking the two boys around like ragdolls before throwing them at the wall Kuno was in and then charged at them, smashing them straight through the wall!

As the three beaten and scratched up boys landed in front of a crowed of gathered students, they all turned to see Ranma, walking out of the pod on all fours. He looked around, like an animal overlooking its territory.

"(Gulp) R-Ranma...?" Shinobu asked, fear in her voice. Ranma glared at all those in front of him and growled.

"MEOW!"

Miles away, Genma shot up, a look of fear on his face. His stretched out his senses, hoping NOT to sense what he was afraid he would sense.

"Oh no..." He said, his skin turning paler by the second.

"No...No!" He screamed as he got up and rushed over in the direction of Tomobiki High.

"Please! Please don't tell me that someone actually let him get so scared of cats that he whent FULL Neko-ken!"

About a minute later, Genma and Nodoka bumped into each other at the front gate of Tomobiki High. Nodoka was less than happy to see her ex-husband, but she did notice that he looked like a man running from Hell.

"Hello, Genma." She said.

"There's no time for the usual hate fest woman! Where's Ranma!?" Genma asked. Nodoka was about to say something but...

"MEOW!" Came the sound of a cat, but louder and scarier than anything Nodoka had heard in her life.

"What the?" She said.

"OH NO! I'm too late!" Genma said as he charged onto the school grounds.

When he got there, what he saw looked like a horror movie. The place was covered in what looked like claw marks, students where cowering in fear, and a few students, who had the words Storm Troopers on their shirts, were covered in scratches and bruises. He then saw what looked like a spherical pod with a hole that looked like something burst straight out of it. He ran in and saw Lum and Kurama huddled together, looking like they were scared to death. Nodoka ran after Genma and was even more shocked at the destruction she saw.

"What on Earth!?" She said as she ran over to the pod where Genma ran to and saw Lum and Kurama.

"GIRL!? What happened here!? I got a call from the principle saying that something was wrong with Ranma but then he was cut off by some racket." She said. Lum tried to get a hold of herself to explain as best she could to her future mother-in-law.

"W-Well, Ataru and two of those other jerks that always want to fight Darling, Kuno and Mikado all showed up with a bag full of cats..."

"LUM!" Genma cut her off. "When Ranma was cornered by those cats, did he start to act strange!?"

"Strange?" Nodoka asked.

"MEOW!"

The noise that cut her off was a sound that froze her blood to ice. Genma paled even more and rushed outside along with Nodoka. Lum and Kurama panicked but found themselves rushing outside when they heard Nodoka scream.

"Mother-in-law!" Lum cried out as she and Kurama ran out and saw the two adults starring at Ranma hunching over a beaten and scratched up Shutaro.

"Ranma! What are you...?" Nodoka started.

"STAY BACK!" Genma said, keeping his ex-wife from going closer.

"He's right! He might attack you!" Kurama added.

"What?" Nodoka said. Her answer came in the form of Ranma hissing like a cat and turning his head, showing that his eyes have turned into slitted cats eyes.

"Huh?" Nodoka cried in shock.

"It's just as I feared." Genma said. "It's the TRUE side effect of the Neko-ken training."

"Side effect?" Lum asked. Genma nodded in shame.

"Yes. You see, when someone who goes through the Neko-ken training is exposed to cats for too long, the fear becomes so overwhelming that the only way for their brains to cope with the fear is to completely shut down and take on the personality of a cat!"

"SAY WHAT!?" Said all three girls as they started pounding on the fat man.

Neko Ranma just tilted his head in confusion. After a minute, he just shrugged and hopped up into a nearby tree and perched on a sturdy branch. As he stretched out, the girls finally stopped pounding on Genma but Nodoka was holding Genma at blade point, anger in her eyes.

"You STUPID piece of SHIT! Didn't you read the DAMN WARNING on what ever scroll or pamphlet or book you read that stupid cat fist thing from!?" She screamed as she threatened to draw blood from her ex's throat.

"Seriously! Just how stupid are you!?" Kurama said as she gripped Genma's head and held it back so he couldn't get away form Nodoka's blade.

"Look! It's not my fault! They put the warning in the back of the scroll, I didn't' know till after the fact." Genma tried to defend himself.

"YOU IDIOT!" Lum screamed as she prepared her lightning. "You should have read the whole thing BEFORE you put Darling through that crap! I'll end your life right here and NOW!"

"Hold it!" Shinobu called out as she ran out from her hiding spot and ran towards the three girls.

"I get that you guys want to pound this guy, and if I'm reading this right, he deserves it, but he might be the only one who knows how to turn Ranma back to normal."

They hated to admit it, but the maroon haired girl was right. If they wanted to get Ranma back to his old self, Genma was the only person who might know how.

"Okay you big fat mistake of my youth, is there ANYWAY to turn my son back to normal?" Nodoka asked as she let Genma lose. Genma sighed as he was also released form Kurama's grip and got up.

"There's only one way. We have to get him to calm down and fall asleep." He said.

"Fall asleep?" Lum asked. Genma nodded.

"Yes, it's the only way I've ever known to turn him back to normal. Whenever Ranma gets like this, only when he calms down and falls asleep does he ever return to his normal self. But in the state he's in now, he probably sees everyone around him like an enemy." Genma took a deep breath.

"There's only one person I've ever seen actually manage to calm him down. When we were on the road traveling, Ranma went Cat mode and ran away from me. I followed him and found him at the home of a kindly old lady. Somehow she had actually managed to calm him down and he acted just like any other house cat around her. When he fell asleep on her lap and woke back up a few hours later, he was his normal self again."

"So, is there any chance we could go and find this old lady and have her help us out?" Kurama asked. Genma looked down sadly.

"Unfortunately, she died some years back." He said.

"Then what do we do now, genius?" Nodoka said. Genma quickly changed into an old lady outfit that made them all cringe.

"I'll have to do it myself!" Genma said. He then jumped up to the tree branch Ranma was sitting on. Neko Ranma looked over to the disguised old man and growled as he curled his hands into claws.

"Here boy. Here Ranma. Nice kitty." Genma said as he tried to get Ranma to come over. Neko Ranma however, just swiped his claws at Genma and scratched him to oblivion. Nodoka, Shinobu, Lum and Kurama all just shook their heads as they gave the beaten Genma a deadpanned look.

"Well, that happened." Shinobu said.

"Anyone else see that coming?" Kurama asked.

Before anyone could say anything, Neko Ranma looked down at the women who were at the base of the tree. He growled as his eyes fell on Lum. Without warning, Neko Ranma lunged straight for Lum, causing the alien girl to shriek in terror.

"LUM!" Nodoka, Kurama and Shinobu cried out in shock as they saw Neko Ranma tackle the girl to the ground.

"AAAAHHHHHH!" Lum cried out as she braced for what she thought might be the killing blow! She waited...and waited...and then she felt something wet slide on her cheek.

"Huh?" Lum said in confusion. She opened her eyes and saw Neko Ranma looking down on her, smiling.

"Meow!" He said happily at her as she looked up at him in confusion.

"Um..." She was at a loss for words.

"Meow!" Neko Ranma said as he licked Lum's cheek again. She giggled as Neko Ranma started to nuzzle himself against her cheek.

"Ha ha ha ha! Down Darling! Down!" She said as she managed to get up and started playing with Ranma.

"Awwww! Who's a good kitty!? Who's a good kitty!?" She said as she played with Neko Ranma. Shinobu, Nodoka, Kurama and all the other students and faculty all just looked at the sight in varying degrees of confusion.

"What the...?" Kurama said as she watched Lum playing with the cat like boy. Nodoka and the others walked closer to the pair.

"Um...Lum dear? Are you ok?" Nodoka asked. Lum looked over to her future mother-in-law.

"Mmmhmmm. Actually, it turns out Darling is the sweetest little thing when he's a cat! He's just a big, overgrown kitty-witty! Aren't you? Aren't you?" She said as she nuzzled Neko Ranma's nose with her own. Kurama sweat dropped at the sight.

"Uh...you mean you actually think that this cat craziness is cute?" She asked her fellow alien. Lum smiled at the Tengu princess.

"Yeah! I mean, look at him! How could not like this cute little face!?" She said as she held up a smiling Neko Ranma to Kurama. Out of fear of what she saw earlier, she backed up a bit. But then she looked at the smiling face of the catified Ranma and actually saw that in a weird kind of way...he did look kind of cute.

"Meow!" Neko Ranma said happily. Kurama looked at Neko Ranma and started to blush as a squeal of excitement was building up inside her.

"Meow!" Neko Ranma said again. And then, Kurama couldn't take it anymore and squealed like a schoolgirl with a crush.

"EEEEEEEEKKKKK!" She exclaimed as she pulled Neko Ranma into a big hug.

"You're right! AAAAWWWWW! He's just SSSSOOOOOOO CUTE!" She said as she nuzzled Ranma's cheek.

Everyone watching was close to fainting in confusion at the sight. First, Ranma goes Cat Fu Crazy and tried to destroy anything in his path and now Lum and Kurama seemed to have tamed the beast. Nodoka couldn't help but smile at the sight.

'Even as a crazy cat man, he still can't help but be kind and sweet to girls he likes.' Nodoka thought to himself. She walked over to the two girls who kept fawning over her catified son.

"Girls, I know you like playing with my son, but I think it's time to take him home." She said. Both girls whined but sighed in defeat.

"OK." They both said as they got up.

"Come on Darling! It's time to go home." Lum said as she motioned for Ranma to follow.

"Come on pretty kitty! Follow Kurama! It's time to head for home." Kurama said as she patted her knees to beckon Ranma. Ranma meowed and followed the girls, as he did, all the students and faculty just watched as they crazy boy and two aliens left with Ranma's mom.

A few hours later, Ranma started to stir from a very restful slumber. As he groaned and stretched out he soon found himself realizing that he was laying on something soft.

"Hello sleepy head." Came a soft voice. His eyes flung wide open and he looked up to see two sets of breasts above his head.

"YIKE!" He screamed as he jumped up in alarm. He looked to see both Lum and Kurama giggling at his antics.

"Lum-chan? Kurama-chan? What the heck happened? Where am I?" Ranma asked. Lum and Kurama both looked at Ranma in confusion.

"You mean, you don't remember anything?" Lum asked. Now it was Ranma's turn to look confused.

"Remember what?" He asked.

"You mean you don't remember going crazy when those three idiots busted in on us with all those cats?" Kurama asked. Ranma tilted his head. What did happen?

"Wait...Cats!?" He exclaimed as it all started to come back to him.

"Now I remember! Ataru and those other two psychos came in with a bunch of cats and then...I blacked out. OH CRAP! Did I go full Cat Fist mode!?" He asked, a look of fear on his face.

"Yes, I'm afraid you did." Nodoka said as she walked into the room with cups of tea in her hands. "But thankfully you didn't cause TOO much damage. Lum-san and Kurama-san managed to tame you before you destroyed the school."

"Wait, tame me?" He asked. Lum nodded.

"You leapt at me and started licking and cuddling with me! You were SO CUTE!" Lum said blushing.

"Yeah." Kurama added in. "You were so cute and cuddly! And you were so much fun to paly with! And when you laid down on our laps you started to purr. AWWW! I'm gushing just thinking about it!"

Ranma blushed at what the two alien girls were saying about his cat self. But as he curled into a ball out of embarrassment, Lum walked over to him.

"Darling, you mean you don't remember that?" She asked. Ranma shook his head.

"No. You see, the thing is whenever I go into full Neko-ken mode I completely pass out and I have absolutely no idea what happens when I go...Cat Crazy." He said. Lum put her arms around Ranma and hugged him.

Kurama looked at the two and felt a ping of pain in her heart. Ranma may have an embarrassing fear, but in every other way, he was a lot like the ideal man she wanted when she was younger. But it was obvious that his heart belonged to this dumb Oni. She fought back the tears that were forming in her eyes as she stood up and walked over to the two lovers.

"Well...ok Lum. I concede." She said, making Lum and Ranma turn to her.

"Huh?" Lum said. Kurama sighed.

"I give up. Ranma obviously loves you and...well...you win." She said. Ranma got up and walked over to the Tengu girl.

"Kurama..." He started to say but Kurama put a finger to his lips.

"It's okay Ranma." She said with a sad smile. "It's like you said, in other time if I had met you before Lum. But...well...I'm sure my perfect man is out there somewhere. I'll find him someday. But...I wish he was you." She said as she kissed Ranma's cheek and prepared to walk away.

"Well he still could be your perfect man." Nodoka butted in. "Ranma, didn't you tell her about that law that was...hmmphph!"

Before she could finish, Ranma and Lum had dashed over to Nodoka and slapped their hands over her mouth.

"MOM! Shut UP!" Ranma said.

"Yeah, zip it Mother-in-law!" Lum said.

"Huh? What law?" Kurama asked.

"Nothing! Nothing at all! Mom's just blabbing nonsense." Ranma said nervously. Nodoka glared at the two teens and wacked them over their heads.

"OW!" They both said as Nodoka slipped over to Kurama and draped an arm over her shoulders.

"Well, you see dear. Because my manly son over there saved the whole planet from an alien invasion, the Imperial government decided to reinstate an old law that allows my son to marry as many wives as he wants." She said with a smirk.

"HUH!?" Kurama said in shock.

"MOM!/MOTHER-IN-LAW!" Ranma and Lum said simultaneously.

"Y-y-you mean that, HE CAN HAVE A HAREM!?" Kurama cried out. Nodoka nodded.

"Yep! So if my son is really your type of man, and if he likes you, and I'm pretty sure he does given how his cat persona acted around you, I'd say go for it. With MY blessings. Daughter!"

Kurama blushed. HER!? In a HAREM!? Honestly she never really thought she'd be in THAT situation, but her father was known to have a concubine or two back in the day before he married her mother. And she did like Ranma, but did she like him enough to share?

"Just who's side are you on mother-in-law!?" Lum screamed at Nodoka, who just laughed and hid her smirking face behind a small folding fan.

"Oh sweety, I've only ever been on one side. Mine." She said. Lum was seething in rage when Kurama cleared her throat.

"Very well." She said.

"Huh?" Ranma asked as the beautiful Tengu girl walked over to him.

"I've decided...That you ARE the man for me!" Kurama said as she wrapped her arms around Ranma and hugged him close.

"SAY WHAT!?" Lum shouted as lightning blasted from her body.

"If sharing you is what it takes to be with my ideal man, then I will let that Oni girl be your concubine." Kurama said.

"CONCUBINE!?" Lum screamed as she charged over to the two hugging teens.

"Whose a concubine, you home wrecker!?" She shouted in Kurama's ear. Kurama let Ranma go and glared at the multicolor haired Oni.

"Who are you calling a home wrecker you uncultured tiger printed stripper?" Kurama shouted back.

"You're one to talk, you bird brained slut!" Lum shouted back. Ranma slipped away from the two girls and glared at his mother.

"OOOOOHHHHHH you're despicable." He said. Nodoka just giggled.

"Oh come now dear, I could tell you're attracted to that girl as much as you are to Lum. I figured you'd take advantage of that law that lets you have any girl you want." She said with an innocent smile.

Ranma looked like he was about to blow a gasket. His face turned red and he looked like he was about to shout at her, but then just sighed.

"Oh forget it." He said as he turned back to the house. "I'm going to sleep." He said. Nodoka gave him a confused look and looked at her phone to check the time.

"But Ranma, it's not even 6:30." She said.

"Don't care." He said in a defeated tone. "I just want to go to SLEEP!"

And with that, Ranma headed inside to rest his tired head. As he did, Nodoka just shrugged as she headed over to the two arguing girls.