A walking zombie, his movements actually closely resemble a walking zombie, as he drags his feet down the carpeted hallway in his apartment building. He's so close to his front door but he's in no rush to reach it. With very little time for him to process the news, the bombshell of her pregnancy, he's spent the last couple of hours rolling over the memory, playing through the conversation, piece by piece, as he struggles to find contentment in her words.

"And I'm pregnant," she blinks, "I mean, I'm Erin Lindsay or Voight, um, take your pick, but I'm…I'm also pregnant." That particular memory strongly plays on a loop in his mind that no amount of knocking his palm against his forehead would erase it. His mind is stuck in a blackhole, it's lost in a place where it's slowly disappearing completely without a trace; there's no escape. Of all the mistakes he's made in life, this'll probably classify as the biggest, of all the reasons for his father and brother to be disappointed in him, this'll probably be the most justifiable one. He might have gotten a stranger pregnant, a stranger that's the daughter of his boss. Of all the women in the world, of all the cities, the states, why her, why here, why now when he's still relatively new?

I wouldn't have shoved my courage, my pride and all of that down my throat to admit to you, a one-night stand, that I'm pregnant if I had any doubt that this baby was yours. He needs to set up this appointment for a paternity test. He doesn't even know how to go about it, can it even be possible when she's so early in her pregnancy? She's so confident that the baby is his, and it probably is, but he can buy himself a little more time living in a state of denial as he reminds himself that he doesn't know this woman. She could have gotten pregnant and is now trying to pass off her baby as his. But, what reason would she have to do that? She has no reason to lie to him and he knows that. He knows she's probably telling the truth.

"It's okay if you don't want anything to do with it. I don't expect anything from you. I won't take you for custody or child support or anything like that, considering…you know, the circumstances under which the baby was conceived, but I just thought that you had a right to know. So this is me letting you know." She offered him a way out, an escape route if he wanted to take it, but surprisingly, he found himself focusing more on the paternity testing, knowing that if the baby isn't his then he can justifiably and without guilt walk away. If he walks away now, he'll always wonder. He needs to know so he can leave with a clean head.

But, what if it is yours?

That question seems to roll over in his head almost as much as the memories of his conversations with her do. He doesn't want kids. He never did. And he worries that whether she's pregnant with his baby or not, that feeling will never change. He doesn't want to resent the kid, it'll only cause more harm than good, but as of right now, as of this moment as he fumbles through his keys to find the one that goes to the bottom lock of his front door, he doesn't want this baby. But, if the baby is his, he'll step up, physically and financially, but will he be able to do it emotionally? Kids are smart, they can read people, and he just hopes that by trying to force himself to be a decent father that the kid doesn't pick up on his or her dad's desire of not wanting to be their father.

Jay shoves the key into the bottom lock and with a quick flick, the door is unlocked and pushed open. He steps inside and the aroma of some type of dish meets his nose. Abby must have been trying out a new recipe, "I'm home," he shouts, stepping further into the apartment and finding himself relieved to see that nothing is on fire and no smoke detectors are going off. New recipes typically meant small fires or burnt food. She's a better cook when it comes to her usual meals.

"Hey Jay," she calls out from the kitchen, "dinner just got finished. I'm letting it cool off. I'm hoping that it tastes better than it looks." She chuckles softly at the end and while typically he'd find himself smiling at her remark, he couldn't bring himself to do so. His thoughts were consumed by the baby, by Erin -he finally has a name to the memory- and the fact that she's his boss's daughter. Whether or not the kid is his, he still slept with Voight's daughter.

"I'm pretty sure it'll taste great," he says, looking up to meet her eyes the second she steps into the hallway. She looks beautiful. Something was different, "Your hair?"

Abby smiled and enthusiastically nodded, "I had a hair appointment today. Do you like the curls?" Slowly she turns around to allow him to see her hair from all angles, "I wanted to try something different and this happened…so, what do you think?"

He thinks about the baby. He feels bad for how he feels about this baby, but he can't help it. No matter how much he tries to change his thoughts, it always goes back to his true feelings.

"Jay," she whispers, taking a few steps towards him. She carefully reaches her hand out to intertwine her fingers with his and give his warm hand a small tug, "baby."

He blinks through the fog that is currently spreading through his mind, "Can you not call me that?"

"Sorry…"

He shakes his head, "Don't apologize," he knows he's taking his frustrations out on her and that's the last thing he wanted to do; she's already suffered enough because of him, "What did you ask me again? My mind seems to be all over the place."

"What do you think of my hair?"

"It's beautiful."

Abby smiles; the compliment obviously going straight to her heart, fluttering the vital organ, "Thanks," she leans forward and kisses the corner of his mouth. Things weren't back to normal; their relationship still wasn't the healthiest but it has gotten much better than it had been when she first moved down to Chicago. If you compare their relationship today to their relationship weeks ago when she moved in, then you'd think currently they were the perfect couple.

She wraps her arms around his neck and begins to twirl and toy with the short hairs at the back of his head, "Are you okay? You're here physically but mentally you look like you're somewhere else," he's surprised to see her pick up on his nonverbal cues. Maybe she picks and chooses when she wants to notice them? He shrugs -more in response to his inner thoughts than what she said.

"I just had a long day at work."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

That's the last thing he wants to do, "I just want to pretend like today didn't happen. I just want to forget about it all."

"Maybe I can help you with that?"

Absently, he stroked a hand up and down her back, his frustration from today still present in his stance and his tense posture but it soon starts to loosen up as her fingers continue to play with and massage the hair at the nape of his neck, "We don't have to talk about it. I can just help you take your mind off of whatever you're trying to forget," she seductively whispers into his ear before pressing a gentle kiss against the skin just beneath the earlobe. Her breath spread hotly over his neck; her nose brushed against his pulse. Their bodies swayed side to side, slowly, until Jay dropped both of his hands down to her hips, his fingers gripping her to hold her in place. Abby's eyes slipped shut as she began brushing her lips against his neck, taking in this moment for all that it was worth. Weeks ago, she'd never thought this would be happening; he would always push her away, brush her off or make up some excuse, but not today, not now with her lips against his neck and his breath quickening the more kisses she placed down.

She didn't know what was on his mind.

His mind was a jumbled mess. It was tangled up like a pair of earphones that were stuffed in a pocket and he would need time and patience to attempt to untangle it.

When her kisses ceased, Abby pressed her forehead into his shoulder, arms frozen around him as she held him close. She didn't know how long he would let her stay but she was going to take in and appreciate every second she was able to remain in his arms. He didn't push her away. And she didn't know why. But, she knew enough not to question it. Jay turned his head and surprised her by brushing his own lips against her jaw. He was reciprocating. And it surprised him more than it did her. His fingers clutched her hips, pulling her body closer until it was flush against his own.

He whispered her name, urging her to look up and when she does, he kisses her, so passionately that it reminds her of when they first started dating. That's when their flame burned the brightest.

Jay needed this, it went without saying, and Abby was willing to give it to him. Even as the kiss heats up, and she starts pulling at his clothes and backing him in the direction of the bedroom, he got lost in the moment, finally getting a break from reality. It isn't permanent, the much needed distraction only lasted for as long as Jay and Abby slept together, and the second they're done, and both are lying naked in the bed, the memories immediately come back, "I'm going to dispose of this," he's referring to the condom, and it feels like everything keeps reminding him of Erin, of her baby and the inevitability of his life changing. It's a condom he's disposing of yet it triggers reminders of his conversation with Erin only hours ago. Was it really only a few hours ago? It felt like it had been days, maybe weeks, but it was only hours. He disposes of the protection before walking back to the bed, he's naked, and she's staring at him but all he can think about is the condom he just trashed and the fact that if he wore one that night weeks ago then none of this would be happening. He wouldn't be feeling like this right now.

Abby fluffs up the pillow beneath her head, "What took us so long to have sex?" It's been awhile since they slept together; the last time was definitely before either of them moved to Chicago.

"I was busy. You were busy. And then we had the problems in our relationship," he climbs back in, pulling the covers up to his chest before lying his head down on the nearest pillow.

"…had problems in our relationship? So does that mean the problems are gone?"

"I didn't mean past tense. A few dates and one round of sex isn't going to solve our issues."

"You're right," she nods and sits up, holding the blanket to her chest to keep some sense of modesty, "a girl can dream though. I should probably go reheat our dinner." He doesn't answer; sleeping with her didn't help to keep his mind occupied, he's back to withdrawing himself because those memories of his conversation with Erin come flooding back.

And they stay with him, even a few days after he's told the news of her pregnancy, the memories remain on repeat. Despite the days that start to trickle on by, he hasn't reached out to her, he hasn't sent a text or called or anything because he knows the second, he starts to make contact is another check in the box of this being his new reality. He wasn't ready to reach out the first few days after she told him about her pregnancy, he wasn't ready to reach out when he returned to work the next day and received an update on Erin locating the boy's remaining relatives and he wasn't ready to reach out as he immersed himself into the double homicide of the boy's parents. He was busy, it was his excuse if he needed one. But, now that the case was closed, almost a whole week since he ran into Erin again, he now had more time on his hands than he liked which was a bit ironic. Weeks ago, he would have prayed and been thankful for a little rest and relaxation but now, now he wanted to be busy because when he wasn't it left his mind to wander, to think back to that day, and that's not where he wanted to be mentally.

He's an adult though. He shouldn't be avoiding his problems. He should be tackling them head on.

Jay gets up from the couch to retrieve his cell off the charger. It's a bit quiet in the apartment since Abby left for an interview and he's at least appreciative of the fact that he's home alone; she's not here to hover over him. If he wasn't at work then he was hanging with Abby, spending more time with her than usual to basically overcompensate for the possibility of having a baby with Erin. It's his way of alleviating the guilt, of lessening the fault and regret that he already feels. His changed behavior was odd, to come home from a long day at work to ask Abby out for a night on the town was weird especially when it started to become an everyday occurrence. He barely said no to anything she asked of him. No matter how tired and exhausted he was, he would say yes. And if she noticed any changes in him and how he's the one always offering to spend time with her then she hasn't mentioned anything. Abby has been enjoying his attention, all of it, so to point out any changes in him with the possibility of the attention stopping wasn't worth it.

"Paternity testing," he whispers to himself as a sort of reminder for what he needs to type into the search bar on the internet browser. He unlocks his phone and loads up the internet app, typing in his search as he walks back to the living room. He can't keep living in denial. He needs answers as soon as possible because if it comes out that he isn't the father then he can stop feeling like this, he can stop trying to overcompensate with his girlfriend.

Search results load up and he starts to narrow down the many options. He wants a DNA test to be sure that he's the father but he doesn't want to wait until she delivers the baby. He can't imagine waiting months just to find out if the kid is his. He sees a few options but he doesn't want to put her pregnancy at risk just for a collection of DNA, he narrows down his search a bit more until he comes across information about non-invasive prenatal paternity testing. It's apparently the most accurate non-invasive way of determining paternity before the baby is born. Switching from the internet browser to his text messages, he clicks on her name, seeing that the only message he sent her was his name only so she could save his number.

Jay takes in a deep breath because he knows that before he sets up an appointment, he has to make sure that she approves of this. It's her body. She has the final say.

Is it safe, -EV

It's her response to his initial text detailing the name of the paternity test and the emphasis on the most important word in it, -non-invasive. And before he has the chance of texting her back, his phone is ringing and he sees her name flash across the screen, "Hello?" He's a bit confused as to why she's calling, "Erin…"

"I hope this isn't a bad time. You didn't text back."

"I was about to but you called," she can hear his tone and she knows he didn't mean anything rude by it. He was simply stating facts, "but since I have you on the phone now, I can just tell you what I know based on my minutes of reading and research. Disclaimer here though, I am not a doctor so if any of your follow-up questions haven't been stated in the few articles I've read then I won't be able to answer it. We can always ask them at the actual appointment."

"So non-invasive prenatal paternity testing…" she starts to kind of focus the conversation back on what she needed it to be on. She was at work. It was her lunch break. She didn't have much time.

"I read that the test only requires a simple blood collection from you and a cheek swab from me and can be performed any time after you're eight weeks pregnant." He can't exactly remember how far along into her pregnancy she is, he kind of forgot but he knows that however many weeks she told him in person, it's another week added to that since time has passed.

"I'm a few days after my eighth week mark," she informs him, "how accurate is this thing?"

"It says," he pauses to place her on speaker and scroll through the information on the website, "it's 99.9% accurate so yeah. And it says that it's safe for both you and the baby."

"That's good to know. What else does it say?"

"It goes into detail about how the DNA is analyzed. I can read it if you want?"

"No," she chuckles and it's lighthearted, it's probably the easiest conversation he's had with her and this is only their third, "I've never been into science so if you read the process of how the DNA is analyzed, I probably wouldn't understand a word you're saying."

"Same," he whispers. A small smile graces his face.

"And how long until we would get the results?"

Jay scrolls down the page, skimming the words until he finds what he's looking for, "It takes about one week once testing has begun. If I'm not the dad then the report will show 0% probability of paternity and if I am then it'll show 99% or greater probability."

A silence falls between them and it's kind of weird to know that they haven't spoken since he saw her a week ago at work, but yet today's brief conversation felt easy. It wasn't high on emotion.

"I'll schedule the appointment," she says, and he doesn't question it even though he thought she wanted him to make the appointment; it's probably better for her to do it anyway since she'll be able to answer more health-related questions.

"Before you go Erin," he starts, inhaling a large breath before releasing it in seconds, "I just want you to know that by me wanting this DNA test doesn't mean that I think you were sleeping around or whatever. It's just a way for me to know for sure." And she can kind of understand that. He doesn't know her. She doesn't know him.

"I get it. A little," she adds. And her lunch break was almost over; she spent majority of it on the phone with him and thankfully this conversation kicked off on a better note than their last one, "I tried to put myself in your shoes. That's all I've been thinking about this week. I just keep thinking about our last conversation," he wants to cut her off and practically shout me too but he doesn't, he holds it in and lets her finish, "Why should I have expected you to believe me? You don't know me. You don't know my lifestyle. So I get it a little and I'm hoping that once this paternity test is out of the way and we get the results, we can continue to be cordial."

"Yeah…"

"This might be too much information but I do feel the need to say that I wasn't on birth control. I've never done something like that before and-"

"Neither have I," he cuts in.

And before she gets back onto her train of thought, she feels forced to ask, "Are you clean?"

"I am. I don't typically have unprotected sex. Not even with my girlfriend." And maybe it wasn't the best decision for him to bring her up because it changes the atmosphere in the room, reminding her that he wasn't a totally unavailable man when they slept together. He doesn't know if it's what he said or if she actually needed to get off the phone, but with a simple excuse of needing to get back to work, the two parted ways, him whispering a reminder for her not to forget to set up the appointment before hanging up. It was awkward, not all parts of it, but it felt weird. This feeling, or feelings because he cannot point out and label just one. He's a melting pot of emotions and even though this conversation went somewhat well, it doesn't mean the next one will too.

Jay rises to his feet, face staring down at his phone as he exits out of all the tabs involving paternity testing before deleting his phone browsing history, all in an effort to ensure that Abby doesn't find out until he's ready for her to find out. As he walks back to their bedroom, he hears her keys jangle before the door opens and she walks in, kicking off her heels and pulling the hair tie out to allow her waves to fall around her shoulders, "Hey Abs," he continues on into the bedroom to connect his phone back to the charger, "how was the interview?"

"I feel like it went really good but I'll know for sure in a few days. Let's keep our fingers crossed."

"I'm sure you did fine," he reassures, "you know your stuff and they'll be idiots not to hire you."

Abby smiles because she truly needed his kind words. And before he could cross the room to meet her under the threshold of their bedroom door, his phone buzzes and his steps come to a halt.

"Do you have to go into work?"

"Nah," he shakes his head even though he hasn't looked at the message, "Voight guaranteed us this day off. He wouldn't call us in unless the sky was falling."

She's tempted to make a joke out of it and go glance out of the window but she's more curious as to who was texting him, "…then who could it be?"

Jay is pretty sure he knows who is texting him and he's also pretty sure that he's going to lie to Abby about it, "It's Dawson," he lifts his phone to stare down at the message from Erin, "he's just checking to see what time I'll be in tomorrow." His reasoning was enough. She simply shrugs and moves to the closet to change out of her interview outfit and into something more comfortable. He sits at the edge of the bed, staring down at Erin's message.

Appointment is next Friday, noon, I'll meet you in the waiting room. I'll text you the address when I get home, -EV.

He reads it twice before shooting off a quick text back, see you then, -JH. He sits his phone face down and rises back up to meet Abby by the closet, "So Abs, I was thinking you can tell me all about your interview while I heat us up some leftovers for dinner." He's gotten much more patient with her since he ran into Erin; he's found that this feeling of guilt and blame for his possible role in Erin's pregnancy has manifested itself into something that's pushing him to work harder in his relationship with Abby, it's forcing him to try, to put forth effort and be patient and kind. It's forcing him to compromise and overcompensate for all the wrongs he's done to her and she appears to be receptive to it all. It isn't fair for him to hold this secret in but when she does inevitably find out, he won't force, trick or talk her into staying with him. He might be having a baby on her, a side baby, and while he isn't in love with her, he does care about her and the thought of breaking her heart again makes him feel sick. She doesn't deserve for that to happen to her, despite all of her flaws, his flaws and their flaws, she doesn't deserve it.

"That sounds like a good idea," she steps out of the closet, now dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater, "I was also thinking that we could go out for dessert."

"That sounds like an even better idea."

She doesn't question his change in behavior, instead she chooses to appreciate it.