I DO NOT OWN THE BREAKFAST CLUB. SHOUTOUT TO POPPY471.

Allison & Luke's Apartment. Tuesday, September 4, 1984.

(Allison)

The next morning, I wanted to hide in my bedroom forever. It was just too embarrassing. Why had I run away? Now he thought I didn't want that kiss. But I did. I hadn't really noticed that I was attracted to him, that I cared about him, that I did indeed want to kiss him. But I'd been feeling that way for a while. Ever since he collapsed in my arms after that beating he endured, now that I thought about it.

Stupid, stupid me, running away from him. I was relieved when I heard him close the front door. I emerged and got ready for school. On my bus ride, I thought about the kiss. He went first. He must have wanted to. He wanted to take me out on dates. He wanted to kiss me. He didn't want sex.

This was a new experience, being treated with respect and affection and acceptance. The whole Breakfast Club thing made me feel accepted. I'd mistaken Bender's attempts to get in my pants for affection. I never noticed the lack of respect in such constant pestering for sex. But Brian and Andy and Luke, they treated me with real respect. Claire… She was very good at being fake and two-faced. I sort of felt sorry for her, now that I'd had time to cool down. It's all she knew, being fake and two-faced. It's what everyone around her was like. Pretty sad way to live your life, really. Well, she'd had her chance to change and it didn't last.

I missed Brian and Andy. They both had really sweet sides to their nature. Andy seemed embarrassed about that part of himself, but it was real, not something fake put on just to be accepted in the Breakfast Club. I wondered if I'd ever get to see them again. Brian and Andy were where they needed to be, pursuing what they loved… science and sports. And Luke and I were pursuing our own love, the love of art. Even Bender was doing what he loved, mechanics. I guess Claire was too, in her own way. She was very good at being a princess.

I thought some more about John. He was sort of like Claire, the product of his environment. Maybe Luke was right, maybe my chastisement might inspire him to change for the better. He was so clueless about the housework thing, but he had admitted he'd been wrong to stay out drinking and whoring all the time. And the housework thing might sink in eventually. He really didn't want to be his dad. I sincerely hoped our break up had given him the jolt he needed to realize he was turning into his father. I didn't wish him ill, now that I'd gotten everything out of my system.

I was so deep in thought, I almost missed my bus stop. Once at school, though, I left behind my pensive mood and plunged into the stimulating classes.

As I came out of my last class, I was horrified to see John Bender waiting for me. I had forgotten all about him.

He pushed off the stone building he'd been leaning against and approached. Since this seemed inevitable, no escape in sight, I just stood there as he walked towards me. He had that slow, crooked smile on, the one that seemed irresistible to all women. Myself included. But now it only made me feel a bittersweet sadness.

When we were close enough to speak, he said, "Hey," his voice low and intimate.

I nodded a greeting.

"Listen, Ally, I'm really sorry. I knew I was treating you wrong, but, I dunno, I couldn't let go of my pride."

This was surprising.

He took my silence as encouragement and went on, "I was always so proud to be independent of anyone and everyone. I felt, well, I'm not sure what I was feeling or thinking, but something inside me made me act like an asshole."

Curious, I asked, "In what ways did you act like an asshole, do you think?"

He looked confused. "Well, all that drinking and running around."

"Nothing else?"

He continued looking perplexed.

"Because it was more than just you running around. What else might it be?"

He seemed to be thinking hard. "You said something about the dishes. And towels. But dishes aren't a big deal. They're just dishes."

"I was mad about more than just your nighttime forays. I was mad because you never helped with the housework and you belittled my school work. I work just as hard as you do. I was not a stay at home wife, with nothing to do but wait on you and clean up after you. I was not your mother."

"Do you think…" He paused. "Do you think we could try again?"

"No." I was sad to say this but sure it was my final answer.

"I can change. I've been thinking about it, how awful I was, and now I know I was wrong. Can you let me show you I can change?" He was earnest, none of his usual attempts at charm and persuasion. I'd never seen him this serious before.

"I'm really sorry, John. I really am. But no. What we had is broken and can't be fixed. My heart is broken and it can't be fixed."

He looked sorrowful. Not the pretend mournful he put on to ridicule others' tender feelings. Really sad.

"I believe you, that you can change. But us? We're over." I was feeling as sad as he looked. "You can learn, though. The next girl you date, you have learned a lot about being a good boyfriend. And a good person."

"Alright. I didn't expect anything, really." He swept back his hair and gave me a grin, the same grin that always charmed me. "Time to move on, I guess. It's been good." He gave me a swift kiss on the cheek and was off.

I groped my way over to a bench. That was unexpected. To think he really delved into self reflection, very surprising. I sat for a while, watching students come and go. I guess Luke was right, this was the wake up call he needed. I felt hopeful for him. Maybe he really did learn.

I thought about this all the way to the bus stop. But when I boarded the bus, I remembered what I was going home to. Luke. What to do about him? I considered this. It baffled me that anyone would like me as much as he appeared to like me, without expecting something of me. Maybe he expected another date? Another kiss? Some part of me leapt at that idea, another kiss. But maybe he was insulted, hurt, angered by my flight. Maybe I screwed it all up for good.

I was half hoping Luke wouldn't be there when I got home, but as I unlocked the door, I heard him washing dishes. I couldn't avoid him. I closed the door behind me and just stopped there, looking at his back as he washed the dishes. He hadn't heard me come in. Maybe I could tip toe into my room. I carefully set down my bag, and silently moved across the living room toward the hall leading to the bedroom. I was almost to the hallway when Luke turned around suddenly. I screamed. He screamed, too. I had startled him.

"Allison! What?"

I bolted. I slammed the bedroom door as he entered the hall.

"Allison? Allison. What's wrong?" He was at the door now.

"I don't know! Everything!" I was leaning against the door jamb, we were inches apart.

"Allison, I'm really sorry. I'll get my shit and leave."

"Don't leave! No! What are you sorry for?"

"Kissing you when you weren't ready. I'll just get my stuff together. Maybe I can crash at a friend's house."

I yanked open the door and Luke stumbled into my bedroom. I grabbed him before he could fall.

"No! Please don't leave." I was wringing my hands. "I'm sorry, please don't go." Luke pulled away from me and looked at me, very confused. "No, really," I implored. "I'm sorry. I'm the one who should be sorry."

"Wha..?"

"I'm sorry I'm such a stupid idiot," I exclaimed. "I'm so stupid!"

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Luke asked. I was crying now. Luke took one of my hands and stopped my obsessive clutching, wringing motions. "Hey, no, you're not stupid. I'm the stupid one. I should have waited. I shouldn't have rushed you."

"No, no, I shouldn't have run away."

"I didn't mean to scare you. I should have waited."

I kissed him. On the mouth, real quick. "You didn't need to wait."

"But why did you run away?" Luke was looking very confused.

"I don't know. Maybe I was scared? That you might stop being nice?"

Luke stroked my cheek. "I promise to be nice," he said.

I gave him a small smile. He smiled back. A good smile.

"Now," he said, as he led me to the living room. "Let's decide who is stupid and who is not."

I sat with him on the couch. He was still holding my hand.

"I am stupid for running away. I…" I wanted to be truthful. "I really liked our kiss." I hung my head and blushed.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. I really liked our kiss too."

"But you didn't go crazy, run away and hide in another room." I paused, trying to be as open as I could. "I guess I was scared of anything so intense after John and everything."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have rushed you."

"But I kissed you, too. I guess I scared myself." I moaned. "How could I have been such an idiot? I thought maybe I made you mad, or hurt you. That's why I hid in my room. I didn't want to lose your friendship."

"I was surprised and confused, but I mainly felt bad that I had pushed you too far, too soon. You haven't lost my friendship."

Luke put his arm around me, gave my shoulders a squeeze. I looked up.

"Can I take you out again? I'd really like another date with you, Allison."

I nodded.

"And maybe another kiss? A small one?"

I smiled, and held my index finger an inch from my thumb, indicating what size I wanted our kiss to be. "Just that big."

"We can do that. Maybe Thursday night. Chinese sound ok?"

I gave him a big smile, and he smiled back. I'd be counting the hours 'til Thursday night.

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