Halstead sits outside of Erin's apartment on a nearby bench, focusing down on his phone as text message after text message arrived to his device. He sighed aloud; forehead creased as he reread her last few messages. Erin was expecting him but he wasn't ready to go up to her apartment yet, not until he got this all sorted out with Abby first. She was asking him out on a date, using the excuse that her therapist believes it'll be a good way for them to start over again. He was just gearing up to respond to her tenth message when his phone started ringing and a selfie of her flashed across his screen. He swiped to answer, "I was just about to respond. I don't honestly see the point in us starting over again, Abs. I mean we've tried that already after you moved to Chicago, I don't think that works for us. We can't pretend everything that happened between us didn't happen. We can't pretend Emma isn't about to enter the picture or that you didn't propose to me a few weeks ago. I don't think starting over is the answer for us."
He can't see Abby but he knows her enough to know that she's currently rolling her eyes right now, she's driving so that means she's most likely clenching the steering wheel too. She tries to control her breathing, something he assumes her therapist has taught her to do. He waits for her breathing to steady before he adds, "…maybe I should come to one of your sessions?"
"No," she responds immediately.
"I was just thinking that it may be better for our relationship if your therapist gets to hear both sides. How can she make suggestions on what's needed to improve our relationship if she's only in your head and not mine? I just think that'll be better for us than to constantly start over."
"No," she repeats her earlier answer, not even offering to think about it after hearing his rationale, "I don't agree with that. I think we can solve this without couple's counseling."
"I'm not starting over with you."
"Okay fine," he can hear her hit the horn of the steering wheel, "no starting over. How about we do this then? Instead of talking about it on the phone, let's go to dinner later this week, maybe this weekend when we're both off and talk about our relationship, about what we both want and where we see things going together. I just think we haven't been on the same page since moving here and it's time we get back to that. What do you say?"
Jay looks up at the sky, noticing the sun beginning to set and realizing that he should have been at Erin's place half an hour ago. He needed to wrap this conversation up so he's not any later than he already is, "It couldn't hurt. Did you have a specific day and place in mind?"
"This Sunday is Independence Day, maybe we could grab dinner and go watch the fireworks?"
He thinks quickly on his feet, reminding himself of the holiday falling a few days after Erin's due date. Her due date was actually today which is why he wants to see her so badly, and the chances of her water breaking before the holiday was great, so it wouldn't hurt to agree and then to cancel if Emma decides to arrive around that time. Abby should understand.
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. We'll go to that new restaurant that opened up in downtown and then walk to the pier to talk and see the fireworks."
Instantly, he could hear her mood shift just based on the way she was breathing in the phone. He bid her parting words, advising her that he's going to be home late and to not wait up for him because of work before getting off the call. He lied, directly to her, and based on the way he looks, he doesn't feel guilty about it. At all. That much Abby can see from where she just parked her car across the street, she can see based on his relaxed shoulders, the way the frown lines suddenly disappeared from his face as he walked into her building and how the casual smirk on his face clearly tells her that he's there at Erin's place not out of obligation but because he actually, genuinely wants to be there. Abby stares at her keychain dangling from the ignition, observing the new addition of keys she added the day of the baby shower. She's been outside of Erin's place for the last week and the woman hardly ever leaves her home, visitors come to her, she doesn't go to them so Abby has yet to have the chance to go inside and find something, anything to incriminate Erin on in an effort to keep her far away from Jay. And if Erin can take the kid with her, it'd be even better. Abby unbuckles her seatbelt and leans her seat back a few inches to watch the door, ready to comfortably wait hours if needed for him to leave Erin's apartment.
Erin stares at the baby swing situated in the living room, near the couch, envisioning a sleeping infant cradled inside of it. It's hard to believe that she's so close to the finish line. She is ten fucking months pregnant. Happy due date to her. If only her kid chose to arrive today…
"It looks like you have all the baby products you'll need plus more." Jay chuckled from the doorway at the sight of the newly added baby swing to the living room.
"I keep picturing her inside of it."
And now Jay finds himself doing the same thing, picturing something so small, that looks so fragile swinging gently inside as it rocks her to sleep. He turns off the device to preserve it for its actual use when little Emma is inside of it. He sets a box down on her coffee table and Erin doesn't hesitate to open it, not surprised at all with a name puzzle being inside, this one spelling out her middle name. Jay must have ordered it after they agreed on it and then it had just arrived.
"I'll make sure this joins the others."
She rests her palms flatly against her tummy, rubbing the sides before circling them towards the front. 40 fucking weeks pregnant today, her baby is the size of a watermelon and considering she's questioning every single twinge she has lets her know that labor is soon. Childbirth is imminent, she just hopes she's as prepared as she believes, even though her mom steadily reminds her that she'll never be as prepared as she actually needs to be, she at least wants to get as close to the goal post as possible. Every new day being pregnant is a new start, a new sense of normal, a new beginning that brings upon it new changes and sensations. Pregnancy is such a beautiful thing, despite the aches, the pains and the inevitable labor that will come one day soon. A sense of motherhood started so early on in her pregnancy with the instant mama bear protective mode she found herself in the second she decided to keep her baby. And based on what the other moms she reached out to from Lamaze class to congratulate them on the birth of their babies had to say, that bond, that natural instinct will only strengthen when she lays eyes on her newborn.
"I meant to tell you, I spoke with Julia a few days ago, she announced the birth of her baby on social media," she informs him. Julia had been a woman she met in Lamaze class when Jay first attended the class with her. The two of them didn't swap numbers but they did follow and befriend each other online. Erin had noted the birth announcement, her baby came three days ago.
"What did she end up having?" He asks, remembering that Julia and her husband wanted the gender to not only be a surprise to their family and friends, but to them as well.
"…a boy," Erin gushed, "they named him Asher. She hasn't posted any pictures yet."
"Tell her I said congratulations the next time you speak with her."
Julia's baby had come a day before her actual due date. Erin's baby on the other hand appears like she's going to be a late arrival. She's obviously in no rush to join the world, not that Erin can actually blame her. It's not too much going on out here anyway. Erin does have to remind herself for the umpteenth time that Emma will come when she's good and ready according to her doctor yet her doctor casually reminded her at her last appointment that if it goes too far past her due date then they'd have to induce labor. The pressure in her pelvic area has worsened apparently due to the kid dropping lower in her pelvis. She's starting to have leg cramps too, and with that on top of the trouble sleeping, the swollen ankles and the anxiety about impending motherhood, she's getting antsy because it's supposed to be her last week of pregnancy yet she's showing no signs of labor.
"Any day now would be great to make your arrival little girl," Erin whispers to her baby bump.
"Please, you can't rush perfection."
"That's easy for you to say," Erin quipped, knocking her shoulder against his jokingly, "It feels like I've been pregnant forever. She is taking a long-time baking in there."
"She's right on time," Jay reminded and based on the eye roll she gives him, he knows it doesn't help, "she'll come out when she's good and ready, and in the meantime, we better head out."
Ah, yes, for their scheduled maternity photoshoot. It was a last-minute booking; the photographer was able to squeeze them in today to capture some last-minute shots of her bulging belly. It was paid for by her mother, it was something her mother wished she had done with Justin but these grand shoots weren't as common over twenty years ago when her brother was in the womb. So, as a favor to her mother, she puts on her best outfit and holds a bag containing one change of clothes as requested by the photographer and then heads out the door with Jay trailing behind.
It was tiring, having a camera practically shoved in her face with the flash on, having the photographer direct her to different backgrounds, posing her, framing her, all of this to get the perfect angle. Her mother is going to absolutely love these pictures, she already knows just by the unedited pictures the photographer was able to show her before she and Jay shook his hand, tipped him and then headed out into the cool summer night of Chicago. It took a little over an hour, as expected and when they pull up to the front of her apartment, Abby remains sitting outside, only leaving for less than half an hour to use the bathroom and buy a snack from the gas station around the corner. She's back, parked and settled by the time they return, neither of them knowledgeable of her presence. She leans back as if watching a film, popping Doritos into her mouth one by one.
"I'm so bored with this pregnancy," her mood surrounding this whole experience is constantly shifting, from wanting her kid to stay put to wanting to send her kid an eviction notice. She woke up this morning, smiling at the naïve thought that today is the day, and now…egg in her face because apparently her kid's comfort trumps mom's comfort.
"It's just a few more days, no more than a week or two."
"Do you realize how long a few more days is and don't even get me fucking started on a week!"
Jay throws his hands in the air, as if admitting that he comes with no ill intent and states, "I'm just saying, the doctor said two weeks at most after your due date, labor will be induced."
She doesn't respond to that because she doesn't want to think about that. If she doesn't go into labor in the next day or two, she's going to scream. And Jay's supportive words doesn't feel so supportive right now. She's just ready to be done with this. There is absolutely nothing exciting about having to roll out of bed sideways or groan every time she stands up or the too frequent run to the bathroom to pee or the heartburn, and the added stretchmarks. She looks down at her stomach as she stands in the back of the elevator, patiently waiting for it to reach her floor.
"Erin," she looks up to see Jay holding the elevator door open to ensure it didn't start to close. She gives him a small smile, one expressing an apology that she doesn't verbally offer. She knows he's only trying to help; he's only trying to turn her frown upside down; he's only trying to help her get through these next couple of days and she's being a bit more snippy than usual.
And by the time they walk through the door of her apartment, she's ready to get comfortable and pig out on some type of microwavable meal in her freezer. Jay, bless his heart, not only offers to take Milo on a walk but to install a car seat in her car and the other one in his. She kicks off her shoes while he unboxes both of the seats and disappears from her apartment, leaving her alone with Milo. He only reappears seconds later when he realizes he forgot her car keys. He disappears moments after that, leaving her alone once again, now with a heated microwaveable meal on her lap.
Erin stirs the meal, mixing it all together because right now her cravings are telling her that the food will taste better if the sides are mixed in with the main dish. And just as she goes to test out the taste, there's a knock at her door. As if expecting a bite of the food to come, and becoming disappointed when it doesn't, her daughter kicks. She quickly takes a bite then rubs her hands along her lap before rising to her feet and scurrying to the front door the second another knock comes. She unlocks the bottom lock since the top lock and the latch were not bolted in place. She swings the front door open, not bothering to see who it was before she started speaking, "What did you forget this- mom," Erin says in surprise before looking over Camille's shoulder, "dad, what are you guys doing here?" She steps back to allow them to enter when her mom waves her out of the way. Her dad kisses her forehead as he squeezes between her and the threshold of the door.
"We were in the neighborhood," Camille clearly lied.
"No, you weren't," Erin calls out, seeing right through it, "let me guess, you came to check in on me to make sure I didn't go into labor. I told you, I will text you when it's time."
Erin moves to close the front door but a sudden arm is poked out, preventing her from shutting it. She pulled it back open, mouth agape and staring dumbfounded at her best friend.
"Kim," Erin sighs at the sight of her best friend who, according to the time, should still be at work, "I wasn't expecting you. What brings you by?"
And just as her mother did earlier, Kim lies just as easily through her teeth, "Oh nothing really, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd pop in on you."
"Both of you are horrible liars."
"Oh, shut up," Kim waves off the remark and lets herself inside, "Since we're here, we might as well help with last minute things to prepare for Little E's arrival."
"Fine, if you can find something else that needs to be done, be my guest and do it."
She pokes her head in the hallway to ensure no one else would arrive before shutting the door. She finishes off her now lukewarm microwavable meal before going to her bedroom, leaving her parents and friend to do whatever while she finishes packing up her hospital bag, double checking to make sure that she has everything on her list.
Erin sets the packed bag she intends to take to the hospital near the door. She's officially ready for this baby to be born. Maternity photos are out of the way. Earlier today, she has googled and emailed a few newborn photographers, as suggested by her mother, to gather and compare quotes. Her dad is in the nursery and her mom and best friend are in the kitchen, so she goes to the kitchen to assist on whatever it is they've decided to make themselves busy with doing, "Um," Erin comes to a standstill at the sight of her countertops, "Where did all this extra food come from?"
"You didn't notice me rolling in that cooler," her mother pointed to the cooler near her feet, "I brought more meals over to freeze. However, I have to take everything out and then put it all back in so I can make room for the new platters." Her mother took a step back to fully examine her fridge and freezer, deciding on how she wanted to attack this problem.
She leaves her be, moving instead to the kitchen sink to offer some assistance to her best friend.
Kim stands at the kitchen sink washing bottle after bottle, then moving to wash the pacifiers and the parts of the breast pump, all of which soak in hot soapy water as Erin dries and puts them up.
"How was the photoshoot?" Kim asks.
Erin can hear her mother behind them, taking her time in stocking her fridge and freezer up with more prepped meals. She truly didn't think more would be able to fit but leave it to her mother to find space. Her nosiness is obvious with the way she's frequently looking over her shoulder, no longer humming to herself to pass the time, but organizing her fridge in silence.
"It was better than I expected," Erin admitted, drying the bottle before carrying it over to a cabinet designated just for the baby, "The pictures should be finished and emailed to me and Jay by next week. I took a few last-minute belly selfies too," she shrugs, "it's like the closer I get the more I sway back and forth with no longer wanting to be pregnant and wanting to stay pregnant."
"Wait," her mother quickly turns around, leaving her refrigerator door wide open, "Jay was in the photos? I didn't know he'd be joining you in the photoshoot."
"It was a professional maternity photoshoot, something I did last minute based on your suggestion," Erin reminded, appearing confused at her mother's forgetfulness.
"I know that, I just didn't know he'd be joining you for the pictures. I thought it'd be just you and the bump, not that I'm complaining of course, it's just interesting."
Erin sighs, "What's interesting mom?"
"Oh nothing," Camille slides the last pan in the fridge and then shuts the door, "I'm going to go see if Hank needs my help with whatever he's doing but sweetheart I want you to make a list of last-minute things that you need that you forgot to get and text it to me and I'll run to the store and drop it off one day this week, preferably before Emmy arrives."
Emmy, a nickname her mother apparently will start calling Emma, even though it's not a shortened version of her name. It literally has the same number of letters too.
"I swear this child of mines is going to be so confused over what her actual name is," Erin groans because between Kim's long list of nicknames she switches between and now her mom's added nickname, Emma won't actually know her first name is actually Emma.
Kim and Erin finish up the kitchen, both drying their hands on the dish rag before tossing it on the counter. Erin will put that up later. They go to the living room and she notices Milo is not here which can only mean Jay popped in to put his leash on to take him for that promised walk. Thank the heavens for him throughout the later end of her pregnancy. If not for him, she would have had to hire someone to take Milo on his routine walks and the last thing she needed to do was spend unnecessary money. Erin flops down onto the couch cushion, her butt seeping into the pillow as it molds around her widened hips. She leans her head back, shuts her eyes and relaxes before she's inevitably needed again. Her baby kicks steadily against the side of her stomach and it starts to feel like Emma is using her bladder as a moon bounce because she had already lost count as to how many times she's gone to the bathroom today. This current time not included.
"Hey Erin," Kim knocks at the bathroom door, "sorry to bother you," Erin knows she's not sorry otherwise whatever this is about could have waited, "I'm trying to set up these baby monitors but I can't find your batteries. Where do you keep them?" That could have definitely waited.
"I'll show you where they are Kim," she hears her mother and fortunately for her she also hears Kim walk away from the bathroom. She's granted a few minutes of privacy to take care of business and then washes her hands before leaving out to see Kim putting batteries in her baby monitors, her dad setting up the baby bassinet next to her bed and her mother vacuuming her carpet. Her village is absolutely amazing and she wouldn't know what to do if she didn't have them in her life.
Erin doesn't bother drying her hands on a paper towel or a hand towel, instead choosing to swing them back and forth to air dry them. She walks back into her living room, deciding to resume her earlier position but when the door opens and her dog comes running in, she makes a left instead of a right to meet them halfway, "Did you have a good walk?" She rubs the top of her dog's head.
"He had a great walk, even got to go to the dog park and exerted a bunch of energy."
She looks up at him, remembering the first reason he went out, "You were gone for a while? Are the car seats hooked in? Is everything okay with that?"
"Yeah," Jay scratches the back of his head in embarrassment, "I had a bit of trouble hooking up the car seats. A couple saw me when they were leaving out the building and spared me further humiliation by showing me how to do it. I think I have a handle on it now. At least I hope so."
"You'll have to show me the next time we're out."
Before he could agree, her dad exits her bedroom, rubbing his hands together in pride as the bassinet is fully hooked up and mobile. He spots Camille finishing up with her unnecessary vacuuming, seriously the floor was practically spotless. Erin rubs the base of her stomach, a slight pain rippling through it and she simply inhales, holds her breath before exhaling until it passes. It is almost over, her pregnancy is almost at the finish line, she just needs to wait a little bit longer.
"It's so awkward."
His words distract her enough to pull her attention away from the Braxton Hicks, "What is?"
"Seeing your dad, my boss, outside of work. It's going to take some getting used to," he whispers to ensure Voight didn't overhear him. The last thing he wanted was for his boss to know just how uncomfortable this situation is for him. It's a feeling he'll keep to himself, -and apparently to Erin.
"How long do you think it'll take? It's been a while."
"I'm thinking Emma's 30th birthday or when your dad retires should be enough time."
She rolls her eyes and resumes massaging the underside of her belly. Her kid is supposed to be coming today and based on the time on the clock, it doesn't seem like that's going to happen.
On the bright side though, at least her shortness of breath is gone and she can finally breathe normally again. Apparently, as her doctor so kindly put it, her baby descended into her pelvis so her lungs currently have more space. That was a bonus but the downside is the pelvic discomfort which causes her to wrap her arm beneath her baby bump as a way to attempt to relieve herself from some of the ache, "I'm so sorry," she hears him whisper as he takes a seat beside her.
She tries to cover the pain in her face with a smile but Jay can see right through it, "There's nothing you need to be apologizing for," she looks over at him and grimaces, "your daughter on the other hand is a different story." He finds it in himself to laugh and Erin tightly smiles at that.
"I'm pretty sure our baby didn't just magically appear inside of you," he quips. And the sound of him saying our baby played like music to her ears. She wants to reach out and touch his hand, squeeze it in comfort but her friend and parents are both still here, "I came inside you," she smirks upon hearing his blunt words, "multiple times in one night. Who knows which one took but if you remove me from the equation then this," he hovers his hand around her stomach and circles it, "would not be happening to you right now; I'm a man who knows when he's at fault."
"You make a valid point," she chuckles, one arm still wrapped under her bump while the other massages spots impacted by the tightening from Braxton Hicks contractions; she already went to the hospital once when she first thought she was in labor but as she claimed earlier, it was only Braxton Hicks contractions and her body was currently ramping up to have a baby soon, "and since it is your fault, the only way I'll accept your apology is if there's a foot and leg massage in my near future," she has her lip puckered up into a pout and if his genetics grant his daughter those same lips then he's in a world of trouble.
"…you know all you have to do is ask," he pats her thigh. And he catches her mom and her best friend looking but he's more concerned with Erin's discomfort than their wandering eyes, "Want me to get you something to drink? Maybe some water?"
"I'm not dehydrated and I have about two glasses right here," she nods towards the table to her side, "every time my glass gets low, helicopter mom over there comes and brings me a new one."
The Braxton Hicks contractions pass as they typically do when enough time goes by so she's relieved to have one less symptom going on with her right now. She shifts in her seat, turning to the side to angle herself differently, "It's my due date, it's June 29th and I don't think I'm anywhere near close to giving birth," he opens his mouth to interject but Erin doesn't stop talking, "I'm 40 fucking weeks pregnant. My baby is the size of a watermelon and that is not a fucking exaggeration." He wants to laugh but he knows that this isn't the place or time to do such a thing, not when she's this worked up, "I'm the size of a blimp. I'm the size of a whale. I wouldn't be surprised if I weighed more than one. And it's so sad that I can't figure out which one is more accurate because that just means my size is a combination between the two," he bites his bottom lip at her words, struggling to hide his grin, "and I don't get it. Yesterday morning we had our appointment, baby is perfectly fine and perfectly healthy. Tests have been done, vitals have been examined and apparently baby is fine with staying put and I don't need to be medically induced into labor yet. I'm ready for this kid to come out of me, Jay. I don't think I can wait another week or two and I want to go into labor naturally. I'm terrified of being induced at the hospital."
"…so induce it yourself?" He poses it as a question because he honestly doesn't know what he's talking about. Are there any things she could do at home to send herself into labor?
"I've googled a list and saved it to the notes app on my phone," she reaches into her purse, situated on the table beside her and grabs her phone, opening it up to pass it to him so he can read the list for himself, "I've tried exercising, well whatever exercise I can do with a beach ball under my shirt. I've eaten spicy foods, all that does is give me heart burn and make her kick. I haven't tried sex yet," she gives him a look, a serious one, and he's kind of surprised by the suggestion considering that Abby proposed to him a few weeks ago, but Erin doesn't care and from the look on Jay's face, neither does he, "Have sex with me," she requests rather bluntly.
It's people still in her house but that doesn't last for long when Erin tells them that she's absolutely worn out and just wants to bathe and go to sleep. Kim and her parents straighten up, leaving her apartment just as spotless as it was the day before while Jay carries the baby items into the nursery for them to be put away at a later time and when he's back in the living room everyone is gone but him, Milo and Erin who is currently leaving her bedroom. She didn't take a bath, only faked it until they left, "So…no bath?"
"It would have taken me hours just to climb into the tub," she has a robe on and it's tied closed, Jay moves closer, pulling the strap to untie it, "and I figured if we're going to do operation induce me into labor then we need to get a start on it as soon as possible."
"…and what if this doesn't work?"
She allows the robe to fall from her shoulders as she moves in close, "…then we try again."
"…and if it does work?"
Erin pats his cheek and smiles, "…then there's something poetic about the last time we have sex together inducing me into labor," she notices his brows furrow and she explains further, "last time until the Abby mess is cleared up. You have a long way to go Jay, I mean the girl did propose to you in the middle of my living room during my fucking baby shower," she throws her arms around his neck, "she's obviously trying to stake her claim, that was her not so subtle way of telling me that you're hers," her hands start to drag down his chest before pulling at the fabric until it's over his head and on the floor, "I wonder what she would say now if she knew I was about to fuck her boyfriend's brains out," she smiles, dimples pierced and pearly white teeth on display. And the way she's talking turns him on, something about this being forbidden turns the both of them on.
She kind of hopes, and he does too, even though they don't let the other know, that labor isn't induced after the first time, maybe after try two or three or ten or whatever then their daughter can grace the world in her birthday suit, screaming her little, red face off. The both of them snap out of that thought because their kid is the last thing they want on their mind in this second, and his hands go to settle on her stomach, he's going to miss touching this, rubbing this, kissing this so right after Erin unbuckles his pants, he's on his knees, forehead pressed against her stomach, hand caressing against the flesh of her rounded belly and he's whispering words that Erin is unable to hear. It still amazes her how far he has come from the moment she told him she's pregnant to now.
She patiently waits, in no mood to rush him knowing that in due time it'll all be worth it. When he rises back to his feet, kicking himself out of his fallen pants, his lips are upon hers in seconds. His hand tangles with the hair at the back of her skull as he angles her mouth for better access.
"Wait," Erin pulls out of the kiss, "we should establish some rules." Even though she wants this to not only induce labor but to get another lasting taste of what she's been missing, she knows they have to play it safe, emotions are involved, a baby is involved, they shouldn't do this but they are.
"Rules?" Jay repeats dumbfounded. His lips red and swollen from their earlier lip lock.
"Yes, because we're planning to sleep together again but it's for the sole purpose of sending me into labor," she pauses when his brow quirks, "okay and for a little pleasure too but the agreement we made last time still stands, this is just an exception. We have to remember that."
"…consider it remembered," he salutes.
"Jay," she chuckles at the eagerness in his gaze, "I'm serious. I'm not trying to send any mixed signals here. I know you've said countless times that you're only with Abby to help her get the help that she needs, but at the end of the day the two of you are still together. When Emma gets here, we can't do what we're about to do anymore. So, we better enjoy it."
"That's what I'm trying to do," he leans down to press his lips against her lips again.
"How are we going to do this?" Erin asked quietly the second the kiss ended.
"…whatever comes naturally," he takes a small step forward and tilts his head to mirror her own head tilt, "and of course whatever is comfortable."
It's a wild night, highly energized as their infatuation with one another fuels over into their night of passion. It starts with Erin standing, facing the wall with her legs spread and her hands laid flat against the wall at shoulder height as he stands behind her and slides inside. His hands are at her waist, holding her up while the wall flushed against her opened palms offer more support. Taking her against the wall, doesn't trigger labor for her but it does manage to ignite a flame within her as he takes her chin in his hand and turns her head to smash his lips sloppily against hers.
Neither of them intend to slow down, embracing the night for what it's worth. A last time until who knows when. Moving from the wall to the couch, lips never once separating from his.
"I don't want to put any pressure on my stomach so," she taps his chest hinting for him to take a seat, "down you go," she climbs on top of him, hovering above his erect member before grabbing it and angling it to slide down upon it, perfectly enveloping him. Her head goes back. His does too. They both release a sigh of content and the last thing that's on either of their mind is how they shouldn't be doing this yet they find themselves back in the same situation they were in weeks ago. He couldn't get enough of her and he would have been down to do more of this if she didn't put a pause on it. She lifts her head back up, her hands sliding down his bare chest and she meets his eyes, "I love when you ride me," he admits, hands coming to grip her hips, "It does something to me," she leans forward to kiss him in an effort to silence his words and when his tongue slips inside her mouth, she knows that she managed to do just that. Erin smiles into the kiss.
It heats up in the room and somehow Jay miraculously picks her up and carries her into her bedroom. She doesn't know how and she doesn't question it because she's at the peak of her climax and nothing more is on her mind than to ride it out, figuratively and literally. On the edge of the bed, they make it to next with her lying down on the edge, facing up with her feet on the floor, torso propped up by her elbows with him standing over her, entering her slowly, allowing her to move her hips to encourage what she feels is right. Then spooning one another, with her lying down on her side and him up next to her back, relaxed and entering her from behind, comfortable, enjoying this position because neither have to exert themselves too much, both chase their pleasure, the peak is right up ahead as they work together to get there. Keeping the pressure off her belly and her bladder, she's able to give her all to this moment, to him, to this experience without being distracted by discomfort, pain or the urge to go to the bathroom. And finally, side by side, lying down facing him, moving her leg over his, bending her leg at the knee, coaxing him to enter her from this angle, looking into his eyes and embracing the extra layer of intimacy by meeting his gaze, peering into his eyes and matching his warm expression. She cried out, clinging to him, wrapping her leg around his waist to keep him where she needed him. Jay followed a few seconds later, grunting her name with an intensity she has never heard before.
She rolls to her back. He rolls to his. Both of them panting, their chests rising and falling as they try to catch their breath. Her head lolls off to the side and she meets his tired gaze, smiling in glee that she managed to exhaust him this much. He's barely keeping his eyes open; he yawns and rolls over to his side to face her. His eyes cast down towards her stomach, silently waiting for an update and when she shakes her head he rolls back onto his back. It didn't work. And she'd be lying if she says she wasn't disappointed. They were careful in their positioning and maybe that could be the reason but the site she read never mentioned specific sex positions. Both of them are tired. And she's out of options. Nothing on that bogus list worked for her.
"Hey," Jay extended his hand to rub his thumb against the squinched skin between her brows, "I'm sorry, I know there was really only one point to all of this and I-"
"I don't regret that, like at all," Erin interrupts his line of thinking, "even if it didn't work. And it's not your fault. It was probably a longshot anyway. I mean, the other stuff on that list didn't work either so it's my fault for even assuming this would work and besides it's not like we both didn't get something out of it," Jay can sense a but coming, "but we were right the last time when we said that can't happen again. I can't make exceptions anymore, not when it comes to us," it's hard to say, but it needs to be said, "this can't happen again because every time we sleep together," she swallows roughly before vulnerably admitting, "I can feel myself getting attached and to protect me, to protect my heart, we have to set some boundaries and seriously stick to them no matter the temptation because our libidos will continue to be our biggest challenge. And when you look at me like that," she notes the way he's biting his bottom lip as he actively listens and hangs onto every word leaving her mouth, "please stop looking at me like that, it just makes me want to throw caution to the wind and say screw it and be friends with benefits but that's a horrible idea."
"I get it," Jay says. He knows it won't be easy but it'll be needed. Damn, this is going to be fucking hard, "no more sleeping together," he repeated, looking down, already regretting the words he said, "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm going to fucking miss this. Like, a lot, but I get it."
Jay's hand falls to the top of her belly, caressing it softly, tickling the tips of his fingers along her smooth flesh, admiring the stretchmarks and the sudden imprint of a foot when the baby kicks so hard against the side of her mom's tummy. From the way the foot hit against his hand and the way in which she grimaced, he could tell it hurt, "Does that feel weird?"
"…the kick?"
"Yeah, but more so having an actual human being in your belly. Think about it for a second, that's so damn weird, like alien in a sense," his face cringes at the comparison he made.
"It's hard to explain, but when she moves, it feels like soft rolling or like a swirling sensation and it felt different throughout each trimester, each week, but being this far along, it kind of feels like there's a wrestling match going on inside of me. It hurts sometimes, especially when she has an arm or something pressed against a rib," Erin chuckles, "In the beginning, any type of movement felt weird but I got used to it and according to the doctor movement is good, no movement is bad."
His palm remains flat against her belly. Silence envelopes her darkening bedroom as the sun continues to set. He has no care for the time. He has no care to go home right now. He stays in the moment, enjoying the feeling of movement beneath the palm of his hand as their kid wrestles around. He rolls back over to his side and scoots down, lining his face up with her stomach and that's how he spends the next few minutes, whispering to his little love so she's as familiar with his voice as she is with her mother's voice. His phone, left somewhere out in the living room, in the pocket of his discarded jeans, ringing on silent. It eventually goes to voicemail with an icon notification relaying to him that Abby not only called but left a voicemail message for him.
Abby's not happy that he didn't answer. It pisses her off, especially considering she actually knows where he is, and it's not work. It makes her wonder how often he'd tell her he's someplace else only to be over here, probably screwing her. She grinds her teeth together, the action only serving to make her angrier. Jay wouldn't do that to her again, she tries to remind herself, and it's because he loves her just as much as she loves him. The anger dissipates at the thought but soon enough frustration takes its place, causing for her to nearly throw her phone on the dashboard when she googles Erin's name for the fifth time that week, desperately venturing onto the ninth Google page and still not finding any information. She just sees the basics, she sees what she already knew, that Erin is a social worker. She also finds a bunch of other Erin's, name either spelt the same or differently that live somewhere within the country. She nearly gives up but the social media icon on her phone gives her another idea. She smiles, eagerly reaching for her phone only to get distracted when a car honks nearby, nearly sending her into a panic at the thought of being caught.
"Whew, you're being paranoid Abby," she says to herself, chuckling at her heightened nerves.
She lets a moment pass. She looks around, over her shoulder and further ahead to make sure she spots no familiar faces. Abby remains seated in her vehicle outside with no plans on leaving anytime soon. She's been planted outside for hours, choosing to order food to her car instead of picking something up because she doesn't want to miss it when he leaves. She reaches for her phone, opening up her messages and sending off a text, letting Jay know she's home despite the fact that she's sitting outside of Erin's apartment, parked across the street, at a perfect angle to see when he leaves. She saw Erin's parents arrive, she saw her best friend drop by and she saw all of them leave as well. Yet Jay remained inside doing who knows what with her.
She clicks out of her messages and switches over to social media, typing in Erin's name and loading up her account only to find her settings must be listed as private. The two of them weren't friends on social media and if Abby were to send her a follow request, she would have to wait for Erin to accept the follow and she highly doubts she'd willingly allow Abby to snoop on her page.
No worries though. None at all. And that's because Jay is a mutual friend on both of their accounts. Abby simply signs out of her account to sign right into his. He doesn't know she knows his log in information. She never posts anything on his account and she's always careful not to accidentally like anything while logged into his profile. She reclines her seat further back in the car and helps herself to the limited supply of photos, screenshotting a few of them from Erin's profile page and saving them to her own camera roll.