p style="text-align: center;"emstrong[ OP: Will not give you one. ]/strong/em/p
p style="text-align: center;"span style="text-decoration: underline;"stronglmfaoaprilfoolshoe. - Google Docs/strong/span/p
p style="text-align: left;" /p
why does this site do that, anyway? anyone know?
M Rating - Google Docs
"Fuck, shit, dickhead, twathole, shitlicking granniefucking dumbshit-"
"Hell're you doing?" Neoru asked Dina, who'd been hit on the head or spent like 2 hours browsing /a/ or something. Either would have the same effect, honestly.
"Taking advantage of our new M-Rating. Anyway, cunt, fuckface, fa- oh wait no that one's too offensive, uh..."
"Sure givin' your all to be as IMmature as possible, huh?"
"Go fuck your AIDS-ridden mother's axe wound, you- OH, OH THERE HE IS!" Dina suddenly ran full-speed toward a black-eyed, yellow-pupil'd tall guy with a limp-hanging tail.
"HEY, KAZI! SAY THE WORST THING YOU CAN THINK OF! WE'RE M-RATED NOW!"
Kazikum looked at her.
"My lucky stars, sugar, who taught you to talk like that? Your ma'd be ashamed!"
"... EH?"
The grey-haired Saiyan turned up his nose and walked away. "I've got half the mind to wash that mouth with a bar'a soap, but I'd wind up hurtin' ya! I just might faint if I stay here any longer! May y'all poor souls find Chronoa soon!"
Dina stood, floored, as Neoru stifled laughter.
Then someone bumped into him.
"Huh- oh, hey Zinco."
"Hi, ni
Luka Wants to Learn Kung Fu - Google Docs
"That's mad quirky, Luka!" Devine exclaimed under Kame House's night sky. "I didn't think you were even into Marsh on Arks!"
Luka sternly frowned at the ground, slightly flushed. "Apparently, someone I know is a fan."
"Alrighty then, girl, show me what you're workin' with, then! Throw a kick my way!"
Luka complied.
"... Ew."
"What?"
"There was, like, nothing in that one. Totally hollow. Throw me another, but, y'know, WANT to kick me or somethin'."
Luka threw another, now angered by the words and her own perceived ineptitude.
"... I'm gonna barf."
"WHAT?"
"That time, all you did was kick me all pissy and whatever. That's TOTES not what I asked for. You've gotta, like, FEEL IT OUT. Or somethin' like that. Whatever, throw me one more."
Luka took a breath, and threw one more, this time concentrating entirely on the kick and giving her all into it.
"... Yas. YAS. YAAAAAAS, BETCH! That one must've felt, like, SO Zlinty, right?"
Luka's happy expression fell somewhat, as she held her chin. "Uh..." she moaned, before a hand smacked her own away.
"Hey...!"
"AH-AH-AH! No thinking on my watch!"
"but how can I answer if-"
"Duh! You gotta stop thinking and FEEL THAT SHIT!" She grabbed Luka by the shoulder and directed her gaze with a finger to the giant fucking blutz wave emitter in the sky.
"It is, like, a finger, pointing ALL. THE WAY. to the..."
Devine stared.
Luka stared.
Their eyes turned red.
"THAT'S IT, GIRL!" a much bigger and furrier Devine hooted a few minutes later, as another Oozaru chased a screeching Roshi around the island. "YOU'RE TOTALLY ACTING WITHOUT THINKING NOW! YOU'VE GOT THIS JUNK DOWN TO A SCIENCE!"
Pandas - Google Docs
Mei stared at the panda, bamboozled.
"H... how is it still alive? Even in this era!?"
The Panda ate another stick of bamboo.
"Even now, all it does is eat bamboo! Yet there is nothing good within bamboo! It does not hunt, it eats no good vegetation, it is fat, it is slow, it is bumbling, its fur is disadvantageous, and it eats bamboo!"
Mei stared directly into the panda's eyes.
"WHAT HAS ALLOWED YOU TO PERSIST FOR SO LONG, YOU USELESS BEAR THING!?"
The panda made a funny noise and licked her.
Mei stared.
"I will violently murder anyone and anything that would wish you harm," she stated with deadly seriousness, hugging it affectionately.
The panda made another funny noise.
Mei made a happy noise and hugged tighter.
Kara and Kora Aren't The Same Person - Google Docs
"Hey, Kora!"
The aforementioned, thick and low hanging-haired Saiyaness looked back with disgust. "Oh gods, it's her..." she grumbled under her breath, before another armor-clad and tailed girl slung her arm around her. Beside a less-noble set of armor, she looked disturbingly like her, bar the palm-tree head.
"It feels like ages since we've fought!" Kara chirped. "What's been keeping you!?"
"Training. What else?"
"Training!?" Kara unhanded Kora as if she'd touched a piece of dung. "Are you serious!? You know you're a Saiyan, right?"
"That method is literally how Kakarot climbed his way from a low-class warrior to contending with Vegeta IV. Have you even been to class?"
"Who needs class? All I need to know is that Saiyans get stronger by fighting things!"
"But all you do is pick on things weaker than you."
"You're hopeless. I think you've spent far too much time with that halfbreed, those human habits are rubbing off on you!"
"I STILL hate her, asshole! And you have NO IDEA what you're talking about, shocker."
Kara walked away, to Kora's Kai-thanking. "MAYBE once you drop that stationary coward crap, you can hang with someone as cool as me. Until then, I can't be seen around you. Too much cred to lose!"
"WHAT CRED!?" Kora screeched.
"The streets know! You don't! Shocker, lamewad!"
Kora turned, dumbstruck. "I'm gonna strangle that halfwit... Besides, what moron still looks down on training?"
Voshyo's Stupid Tail Story - Google Docs
"Dear boy, you detest the concept of training, right?' asked Ceushius.
"It is a static and cushy method used by the weak to attain power, in place of proving themselves worthy of it through harrowing combat. Why?"
"Your tail is rather resilient, compared to others. I've held the impression that only painful conditioning can bring about such sturdiness. If you've never trained, how could you've conquered your race's weakness?"
Voshyo stared off.
A small Voshyo dizzily hung from his tail as a muscle-bound, four-armed warrior swung him like a pendulum.
"AW, IT'S SO CWWUUTE UP CLOSE! WOOK AT ITS WITTLE CHEEKS! I COUWD JUST HUG IT TO DEA-"
A Saiyan with the same color scheme as Voshyo kicked away the grunt. "YOUNG LORD!?" he yelled at his woozy, spinny-eyed young lord, trying his hardest not to laugh.
Not long later, after the planet's conquering...
"Y-young lord, is this really needed-"
"SILENCE!" Voshyo pouted, teary-eyed. "EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! AT MY TAIL! I SENSE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST LACK OF BLOODLUST FROM ANY OF YOU, AND I'LL KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND! ARE WE CLEAR!?"
Voshyo crossed his arms. "Unorthodox measures. That is all I will grant you."
"(I wonder why he's blushing?)"
Tried And True Method - Google Docs
A few days before the tournament, Mei was suddenly stopped on the street by a wooden stand, the banner "BROWNIES" written in cheap marker hanging over it.
"Hey there, you're that lovely Xiao Mei girl, right?" said Dina enthusiastically.
Mei opened her mouth to correct her pronunciation of two letters.
"Great! Now, you look absolutely famished, my dear! Care to try these homemade brownies? Free of charge!"
Though she wasn't familiar with the food, it did smell good. And she was, in fact, hungry. "I... Yes, thank you."
She picked one up and took a bite; to her pleasant surprise, they were quite good.
"Fancy them much, love?"
Mei nodded. "How are these made, exactly?"
"Oh-ho, that's simple! Throw some flour into a bowl, add some canola oil, mix in 2 eggs, few teaspoons of sugar, cocoa powder, opium, vanilla, can't forget the chocolate chips-"
"What was that last one?"
"Vanilla."
"Oh, thank you. How exotic!"
"Right? And last, just a pinch of sea salt! Wait around 30 minutes, add fudge on top, and voila!"
"Mh, mh! Thank you very much!"
"Aw, no problem! You've been working hard, after all! Be back soon?"
"It's likely!" With that, Mei happily made her way.
"... oh, it is likely indeed..."
Spanish - Google Docs
"Buenos dias, mi hermano!" Sokai greeted.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME- ANOTHER LANGUAGE!?" little Neo yelled.
"What? Like you said, we should've been speaking in a Central-American language!"
"I said IF ANYTHING! Not that we should absolutely do it!"
Sokai shrugged. "Besides, wasn't OP's whole purpose to pay homage to the grandioso Latin portion of the Dragon Ball fandom with the Araji?"
"Sure, but the fact is, having them speak Spanish, Portuguese, or any in between immediately discredits a large portion of the Latin fandom, accidentally or otherwise! We should speak the universal language, but have certain aspects of our culture be closely related to those of both Central AND Southern-American, much like people like Uub in the official series. Though that may be difficult, and we're bound to offend at least someone with these crass decisions, it'd be more-than worth it in the long run if this is DEFINITELY what we want!"
"... Huh. I hadn't thought about it like that, brother mine. Yeah, let's give that a shot!"
"Mh! Right, Kosai!"
"... Kosai? No, my name's Sokai, there were too many character names beginning with K, so OP changed it."
"... maybe altering big things like names mid-story isn't the best course of action..."
"Quizás."
Tried and 2: Revengeance - Google Docs
Mei returned for Dina's vendor the 5th time that day.
"Oh, hey there Ms. Mei!"
"H-h-hello..." she greeted, disheveled.
"You're quite a fan of these brownies, huh?"
"M-mh hm."
She offered another. "Oh, that's fantastic! Here, take another!"
Mei snatched it out her hands and munched on it like a rabies-infused chipmunk, savoring every bite.
"That's right... just keep eating away at that thousand-year martial art," Dina stroked her head. "(That's one off the list...)"
"HI!"
Dina snapped over to the noise.
"I'm hungry, too!" Kaza said, cheerfully. "May I have a brownie?"
Mei made a hissing noise at her.
"Well, er, it looks like we're all sold out on them at the moment!" Dina shiftily darted her eyes. "No worries, come back in an hour and I'll ha-"
"What are you talking about? There's a free one right here."
"... when did you pick that up-"
"Thank you for the food!" Kaza happily hummed before digging in.
"... mh... mh..."
Dina sweat profusely.
Kaza proceeded to swallow.
"... this is drugs."
"... yes."
"... you fed my friend the drugs."
"... a somewhat-weaker yes."
Kaza looked to the left; no Zinco.
Kaza looked to the right; no Zinco.
Kaza spun her neck 180 degrees. No Zinco.
Kaza spun her neck another 180 degrees. Back to Dina.
"... are you still interested in the brownies or-"
FEEL THE HEAT!
((( O )))
Mei struggled as Kaza hauled her off. from the now-bloody crime scene.
"NEED BROWNIES, GIVE BROWNIES!" she screeched in between hisses.
"Please just stay still, Mei..."
holy shit that was dark-
Food Time Puns - Google Docs
"How'd you and Launch hit things off so well, anyway?" asked Neoru.
Dina held up a finger. The name "Launch" promptly appeared above it.
"Okay..."
Dina held up another finger. The name "Dina" appeared above it.
"Hmmm..."
An A fell from both Launch and Dina's names. "Ner" slowly inched up below the latter.
"OOOOOOOOH, oh okay."
Kazikum's School Days - Google Docs
School made Kazikum slightly less irate than he thought it would.
His constant, undying state if anger wasn't stoked very much by the people or work present. He'd found a seat the the far side that he liked and stuck to his work nigh-religiously. Wabi most likely had something to do with that.
"(No, it was definitely me,)" Dina humbly thought to herself, blushing at what the power of love could do.
That day, Kazikum bounded tri-step toward his seat.
And some dark-blue haired, 5'3 punk in a visor was in it.
The boy looked up from his over-stylized PDA and up at Kazikum. Both held a blank expression.
"... That's my seat."
"... Sorry, pal, but I don't remember seeing anyone's name on it. There are seats all around ya, though!"
Kazikum continued staring. Then, he moved back toward the other seats.
"(That's right, Saiyan.)" The orange-jacketed fellow internally sneered. "(You'll know in time who does and doesn't rule the seat monopoly around here.)"
Kazikum proceeded to rip out an entire row.
Screaming ensued.
Akaki went pale, as it hovered over him.
"(WAIT! ALL I NEED TO DO IS GO LIMP! THAT'S THE SOLUTION TO EVERYTHING, AFTER ALL!)"
Those were his last conscious thoughts before being beaten into a comma by 5 tons of mahogany.
No, that wasn't a mistake. Literally the shape of a comma.
Maybe he should've fUCKING MOVED.
First Team Meetups - Google Docs
"Wha?" Dina asked, scared and confused.
"Wha?" Voshyo asked, annoyed and confused.
"Wha?" Neoru asked, aloof and confused.
"Ha!" Zinco happily shouted, convicted.
"Ha!" Kaza happily shouted, celebrating.
"Ha!" Ceushius happily shouted, satisfied.
"AAAAAAAAAA-" Mei screeched in pain
"-AAAAAAAAAA-" Wabi screeched in horror.
"-AAAAAAAAAA-" Kazikum screeched in joy.
An Alter/nate Summoning Method - Google Docs
"Can you please tell me why we can't just use Shenron?" Trunks asked his wrist.
"/The stupid old man blew it on something stupid again/," it responded.
"/I'll have you know that it was a collector's item, and there wasn't a single craftsman in all the multiverse that could've repaired it!/"
"/I COULD'VE REPAIRED IT, you senile old fool!/"
"/Why I oughta, why I oughta-/"
"Ok, ok, I get it. Unforeseen circumstances, desperate times, desperate measures. I'm on it."
After lowering his wrist, Trunks looked over the 3 peculiar, ritualistic circles painted out before him. Inside one, a generic martial arts gi; in the next, Saiyan-reappropriated Frieza Force battle armor; in the last, an edgy sword.
He took a deep breath, and cast forth his hand.
"A working Wattpad account. An open DeviantART page."
Winds began circling him.
"An open tab of the Dragon Ball fan wikipedia. 300+ hours of harem anime and/or young adult novels. An unfulfilled power fantasy. An absence of creativity. And a free weekend to guide the path."
Thunder roared around him, as the skies grew dark.
"I henceforth... huuh... I henceforth swear to give my life to the realm of jobbery, if thy will deems it so. Should my blood or my body be asked of you, so I shall giveth."
He began struggling to keep up his hand. The winds grew more violent, thunder loud enough to shake the world below.
"Let none inhibit your ambitions... Let no being under the heavens... best you in strength nor moral superiority..."
Ethereal smoke began to envelop the landscape.
"IN THY COUNTLESS HAIRCOLORS AND RESKINNED ATTACKS... YE, WHO ART GREATER THAN ANY BEFORE, AND ANY AFTER..."
Trunks struggled to keep his balance amidst the chaos.
"THIS WORLD SHALL BEND TO THY WHIM, AS SHALL THE WILLS OF ITS PEOPLE. IT IS YOUR OYSTER, YOURS TO CONTROL AND CAST DOMINION ACROSS. NOW COME FORTH INTO THIS WORLD, TIME'S SOLE HERO..."
"..."
"/NOW!/"
"-ES!"
Lightning struck through the clouds, and the ensuing light almost blinded Trunks. He slowly brought down his raised forearm, and three silhouettes showed themselves.
Cackles over the wrist gauntlet filled his ears.
"/We've done it, Trunks! Victory is ours!/"
"Wait a minute..."
The silhouettes revealed themselves to be...
My characte-AW COME ON!
Dina's Bizarre Reincarnation Cycle - Google Docs
"OI AYEVA SOZZ FOR TELLIN' YA TO EAT SHIT N' DIE, MATE, WUZ RAFFER 'BIT CRINGE A'ME WUNNIT BRUV-"
Dina then took 700Gs to the face and fucking died.
"Huh?"
Dina jumped up, unaware of what'd just happened.
"WHERE AM I? WHAT IS THIS?"
The old man, and the three other gentlemen beside her, stared as if she were crazy.
"Please, calm yourself, Shield Hero!"
"Eh?"
She looked at her forearm. Upon it laid a shield.
"... shit."
Not long after, she was hanged for being accused of stealing some princess's man or something
"HE CAME ON TO ME FIR-" she screamed in the middle of somewhere else.
"... huh."
She looked at her limbs.
4 more than she should've had.
She was also tiny.
"... shit."
Not long after, she was eaten by some underground frog or something.
"-KING FROG-" she screamed in the middle of somewhere else.
"... Um..."
She beheld a long, white corridor. Up front, smoke rose behind a newspaper, concealing the face of someone before being lowered, revealing a glasses-donning middle-aged man in a sweater.
"Next," he said.
"... next wha-"
She was then sucked into a portal.
Later down the line, she ate something bad and died.
"WHO COVERED THE GOOD BREAD IN SHI-" she began to roar, in the middle of somewhere else.
She looked to her left and beheld a pink haired girl.
"Oh."
She looked to her right and beheld a blue-haired demihuman.
"Oh..."
She looked behind her.
Some weirdass in green-brown armor with a ghastly grin and a vial of pink stuff loomed over her.
"... No."
She promptly snapped her neck.
"Heal."
She promptly came back.
"... I'm going to crush you, and throw you to the wind!" she reinstated, before blowing herself up.
This time, she really did die.
"That one was so bad it's funny, jeez," Dina muttered, before waking up.
"Hey, you. You're finally awake."
"eh?"
"You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there."
She looked over there.
"What the- what are YOU doing here?"
Neoru pouted. "Died meditating. Was a slime for a few, then some blue dumbass calling herself a goddess got me killed. Then I tried bein' a bit more cautious about things, but soon, some blonde dumbass callin' herself a goddess got me killed. Then I died like 1.5 billion times in the same universe before bein' sent here. Not fun."
"... hm. One more roll?"
Neoru gave her a look.
"... one more roll."
They broke free, hopped out the cart ready to kick ass and die like warriors, and immediately fell through the ground and into the eternal void.
"-FUCKING HOWARD-" Dina screamed somewhere else.
"... who... wh-"
Dina blew a sigh of relief. "... oh thank god and/or gods."
Ayeva welled up in tears.
"Who's Todd Howard?" she sobbed before wailing.
Mei's Shues - Google Docs
Casually bullying Mei was a fun pastime for Kazikum in school. Always just enough to piss her off.
Though, today, he'd taken things a tad too far.
Mei's new job payed quite well, and she was good at it. So, earlier that day, she'd bought new shoes; top-of-line, peak performance, enough to draw eyes. Her past life hadn't allotted her much materialistic joy, so she spoiled herself.
Naturally, Kaz had to unjoy her.
As she proudly walked up the stairs to lunch, Kaz's mud-ridden footwear scuffed her new kicks.
She froze.
"Oops," he chuckled, descending down the steps.
Reaching down toward the ruined bling, she began shaking, trying and failing to hold back tears.
"SHUU~U...!"
Flashbacks of her picking them out, testing them out, showing them to her jealous master who'd begun asking for a cut of her pay to no avail, and walking to school with an air of confidence foreign to her, all flooded her mind.
Dark shadows covered her eyes.
Her fists balled, and her arms began to bulge.
For a split second, she regained her calm. Just long enough to accept her self-gift's passing.
"Live on in my heart, newly-released Cap. Corp. 56s..."
She raised herself up, thunder somehow crackling within the school.
Xiao Mei snapped her glare around; Kazikum had stopped on the bottom on the steps, marveling at the efficiency of his bare-minimum dickery efforts.
Her rage flared to a summit.
"KAZIKU~UM!"
Kazikum grinned upward.
"KAZIKUM..." she growled, blood trickling down her teeth as she turned her body towards him, looking down with worlds of malice.
She pointed downward, placing forth a solemn proclamation.
"I WILL NOT LET,"
"EVEN ONE STRAND OF YOUR HAIR,"
"REMAIN..."
Her hair sailed upward in a gale of bloodlust, as she threw down her hand and let cry her rage once more.
"IN THIS WORLD!"
A painted effect enveloped her mid-scream, somehow. Someone walked by her, in the process.
They stared for a good 15 seconds before walking away, no longer bothering to question Conton City.
Our Trials - Google Docs
"I pushed by body and soul to breaking point over and over, until I got to the point where I literally ascended," Neoru touted.
"I mastered by own style of fighting by fighting a complete mimic of myself, went past 100, then 200-times gravity until peaking at 300, and then I fought this 'ascendant' bastard along with other strong blokes over n' over while going through the God of Martial Art's reinvented training," Dina proudly proclaimed.
"I trained and fought myself, like, a bunch. It was really, really cold, and everything was really, really heavy, but I did it and got strong!" Zinco stated cheerfully.
"I helped!" Kaza cosigned with glee.
"I ripped apart fuck-knows how many big sacks'a shit, while ripping myself apart all the while! GREAT FUCKIN' TIMES!" Kazikum smugly boasted.
"I fought her," Archi pointed to Kora, who let him talk while soaking it all in, "A bunch. It was hot. Insanely hot. And the weather was sweltering, too." Kora smacked him upside the head, and he took it with pride.
"Our Timespace went beyond 1000 degrees and 200x gravity at points. The REAL hell began once captain Tarubei decided it was time to jump in; but we fought through all of it."
Everyone then looked at the one person who hadn't talked.
"... I cut," Mei admitted.
"Cut what?"
"... hair."
Everyone stared.
"... even saiy-"
"Yes."
"OOOOOOOH," everyone unanimously howled.
"Holy shit."
Neoru got up. "Welp, tournament starts next chapter. You guys ready?"
"You know more than anyone how dead-set ready I am, mate!" Dina smirked sharply.
"Mh-hm! You'll see!" Zinco nodded assuredly.
"I... I guess..." Kaza bumped her pointer fingers, unsure.
"Kěndìng de, Tengshe," Mei coyly mocked.
"Pray I don't rip you a-fucking-part," Kazikum bluntly snarled.
"It'll be pretty clear once I win this thing," Archi confidently stated.
"Are YOU ready to see a saiyan outdo a Super Saiyan?" Kora asked right back.
Neoru smirked. "Alrighty then..."
"Take it from here, OP!"
Trick ass bitch, don't tell me what to do.
Neoru sighed.
"... please?"
Yo! OP here!
I'm probably gonna take a bit of a break from the story after this. By that, besides focusing harder on school n' stuff, I'll use that time to dive back in to martial arts whatever. I'll go a bit deeper into TOUGH and reread Hajime no Ippo, revisit all the stuff I've got playlisted, junk like that. In the meantime"HEY!"
the fuck?
"You're forgetting someone, you imbecile!"
... You're about to find the fuck out, lil fella, real talk, who the fuck you think you talking to, you get killed in these fics for talking any type of way, thats the truth.
"Aren't you going to ask who I am?"
I don't care bro, you just disrespected me in my own fic and now I look like a schizophrenic cussing your"TOWA! It's Towa! You know? The Big Bad of any and every Xenoverse-related fanfiction?"
Oh. Oh yeah. You exist. What you want, I'm trying to end the chapter.
"Can I at least get a moment of recognition? All you do is spend time on your damned OCs, where's MY development?"
... You know what? You're right. Since you went through the effort of breaking into the OP section, here's something just for you.
This is Towa.
Towa smirked devilishly.
She's still a dickhead.
Towa's smile dropped.
She's in such a decrepit state, that she's actively hiding from the Time Patrol at the moment, the latter having gotten so powerful, that any disturbance made by her that's anything more than slight would result in her nigh-immediate destruction.
Towa fell to her knees, defeated as Mira tried his best to help her back up.
In essence, she is an underdog. But don't worry.
Towa looked back up, with an inquisitive expression.
This story is fond of underdogs.
After a brief glint of hope, she bolted back onto her feet, confidently sinister again.
She's still a bitch, tho.
"Up yours!"
Yeah, April Fools, mongrel. Anyway, love you guys, keep on keeping on, and uh, that's about it.
See ya.
"AS WILL I, AND SOON ALL OF THE DEMON REAL-"