"I've traveled that dark path to the world which comes down from this mountain
just to see you
one last time"
-Izumi Shikibu
Shino's insects swarmed the bamboo forest, searching around every tree and rock for any tracks that would lead him to Firefly or the Beekeeper.
There were none.
As if Firefly had disappeared completely into the mist.
And none of the male kika bugs could pick up the scent of the female Shino had left watching over Firefly at all times.
'I won't lose her again,' Shino thought, running through the forest in search of his friend, ordering another swarm of his insects to cover the search from the air.
Until suddenly, he stopped.
Listening to the insects of the forest gradually hush around him.
Their buzz-song different now.
Someone was coming.
He scanned the fog expectantly, his insects gathering in a swarm around his arms.
Ready to take on the Beekeeper in another fierce battle, if it meant freeing Firefly again.
"It's useless hiding. My insects have already detected you. Which means it's over for you now, " Shino warned his approaching rival. "Whatever grudge you hold against my father, I will let you take your vengeance by facing me in battle. Let her go and we will finish this fight ourselves."
But as Shino patiently awaited the beekeeper's answer, his challenger remained stubbornly hidden and silent in the fog.
"Then you leave me no choice but to make the first move," Shino warned quietly. "And unlike our battle before, I will not hold back this time."
A soft echo of footsteps emerged from the fog of the bamboo forest.
But they were not the footsteps Shino knew to be the Beekeeper's.
And when he recognized the outline of silvery hair walking out of the fog, Shino's brow softened, withdrawing his bugs immediately as he relaxed his fighting stance.
Firefly-chan.
"You came back," Shino said, his habitually quiet voice hinting at a sense of relief. "Are you hurt?"
Firefly shook her head.
"No," her soft murmur tried to sound confident for the Aburame. "I'm totally ok."
But as Shino studied her face closely, somehow, she wasn't the same.
Everything about her seemed...different now.
He wasn't sure if it was the glow from the fog, or just her complexion that appeared brighter.
And her honey eyes...they were different too. Softer and warmer than they were before. Making him suddenly crave honey loaf cake and Bee's Flower tea. Shino barely recognized them without their usual fiery and hot-blooded bellicosity toward him.
But despite how much more beautiful she looked to him in this light, Shino sensed something wrong with her, reading the bittersweetness in her melancholy face.
Like one who had come to accept a very terrible fate.
Shino gently brushed back her silvery hair with the back of his hand, to get a better look at her face.
"You don't seem ok," Shino said gently to her, worried that the beekeeper had made her suffer. "Please don't be afraid to tell me, if you're not."
The bee user smiled reassuringly at him...even if inside she was heartbroken, knowing what waited ahead for both of them.
Gazing back at him now, Shino looked so concerned that she might be hurt. The intensity of his studious attention and care of her melting her like honey, even through the darkened gaze of his sunglasses. The rivalry between them softening away into something she was always too scared to name in his expression.
And in the quiet humming of his presence, that something was louder than it'd ever been before.
Screaming for her to acknowledge its existence in him, and what it really meant to her in the end.
Arresting her in the gaze of his sunglasses, and in the gentle way his hand had brushed the hair out of her honey eyes.
Had he really been this worried for her safety, searching for her this whole time since she'd disappeared?
Honeysuckle...in that moment...how she only wished her suspicions about Akirabachi's chosen match for her were true.
Because now that she had come to know the real Shino, she'd also learned that any girl would be lucky to have him for a match.
It just couldn't be her.
And that's why I know Akirabachi must have made a mistake. Because if she really had matched you as my soulmate, it wouldn't be this hard to stay with you...If we were really meant to be, somehow the universe would've made it that way...But since that day I met you in the Leaf Village, it feels like everything has tried to tear us apart...Maybe we weren't meant to be after all ...Maybe it was by a terrible accident that we met each other in the Leaf as kids that day...But still, I wouldn't take it back. I wouldn't erase everything I know about you...Even if knowing you was still only for a little while.
"The name I gave you in the Leaf...so that we could be friends, no matter what clan we were from," she whispered to Shino. "It was bamboo. My Bamboo-kun, because your hair stuck out just like bamboo's leaves. And I always hoped that someday, we'd find each other again, and finally decide which one of us was truly the strongest."
And hearing those words confessed by the one he'd been longing to hear for so many years, Shino was breathless and silently melting.
Losing himself to the light-song of Firefly's words, and that charmingly Iwagakurian accent of hers he'd grown to adore so much. Just like the Earth shinobi from the Hidden Stone Village he'd fought alongside in the Fourth Shinobi World War.
"And now," she broke the silence between them, cluing the stubbornly mute Aburame in. "You're supposed to say something antagonizing back to me and make me start hating you all over again."
"You mean something like, 'Kokoro no Tomoshibi...This is what a real trump card is'?"
And before she knew it hit her, Shino pulled her face into his kiss.
"Mm-m-hm!" Her cry of surprise was suppressed against his lips, her hands steadily loosening their grip on his jacket as their kiss deepened.
Shino holding her face still in both of his hands, his body arcing into hers, as his hard-pressed lips smothered her rebellion.
Messy and defiant for an Aburame so orderly and stoic, as if he'd just figured out how decidedly shameless and unapologetically passionate he could burn for her. His mouth unexpectedly and suspiciously good at making love to hers.
Where had a buggish, awkward loner like Shino ever learned to kiss like that? How could anyone learn how to hit all the right spots with just the right pressure, the right gentleness, and the right rolling of the tongue by keen observant study alone?
A carnal vengeance she'd never trained on how to counterattack, as Shino's hard kiss gradually turned into a gentle bite on her lower lip. Kneading it lightly between his teeth, before sliding his tongue again between her lips. Making her hands squeeze onto his jacket again as he took it nice and slow. Deep and possessive. Unleashing a long-awaited and aching desire to prove to her that he was, and always would be, superior to any love that came after him. So that if their first kiss were ever to become their last, she'd never doubt again that it was her he'd never stopped wanting the most.
Making every part of her body feel like kika beetle wings taking flight as she melted into his.
"Do you want me to stop?" Shino whispered onto her mouth. "You're trembling."
"If you don't," she whispered back. "We're going to regret everything we do after it."
"I have never underestimated anything long enough to regret it," Shino answered her. "What I feel for you is one of those things."
"I don't deserve that," she said. "When you figure out what I've just done, you'll hate me for it. So, please, don't let me believe you love me. If I know that you do, I will always try to use it to my advantage to kill you in the end."
"I have already figured it out," Shino said. "The reason is because your usual honey scent is slightly more sweetened on your lips with the petals of Wisteria. But even now, my insects have already absorbed the effects of your poison."
"That's not poison on your lips, my Bamboo-kun. It's a truce," she told him. "A very special sedative of bee's venom masked by wisteria that not even your beetles can save you from. You'll become paralyzed and lose consciousness in a matter of minutes. But you'll sleep it off just fine, and everything you remember of me will feel like a very distant dream. Because the only thing better than a trump card, my darling bug boy, is the trump card that comes after the trump card."
A hint of a smile broke Shino's soft and matter-of-fact lips, secretly taken by Firefly's unexpected poison foreplay.
"I see...And if your plan succeeds, and these are the last minutes we'll remember of each other," Shino said. "What's the last thing you want to forget?"
Leaning into him again, standing on tip-toe against his lofty height, she kissed him one last time.
"The way wisteria tasted on your lips," she told him. "Before we broke this jutsu together."
"You mean you've found the answer to breaking it?"
"It's time you went back home to the Leaf, Shino," she said. "Because even if it feels hopeless now, you still have so much to give to your village. So much that many will look up to you for. You belong out there. Not trapped here in this tragic, broken jutsu. You have to go back."
"Is that where you will go too?" Shino asked her. "Home? If breaking the jutsu doesn't work for both of us, I won't leave you behind. Not until I find a way to free you too."
"Don't worry about me," she assured him. "Besides, it only makes sense that if we break this jutsu together, we'll both come out on the other side ok, right?"
"Right," Shino said. "But what if it doesn't work that way?"
"Um, now's really not the time to overanalyze all possible reasons this could go wrong," she said. "Isn't leaving this fog and finding your teammate, Kiba, what you wanted all along?"
"Yes," Shino answered. "But why do I have to choose between my life out there and having you with me? Does making one choice really mean I have to let go of the other?"
"I wish it were that simple, Shino," she answered him softly. "I can't say exactly what will happen when the jutsu is broken. For all we know, we could just be illusions of each other created in the fabric of this jutsu. Maybe I am just genjutsu, after all."
"If you're genjutsu, you won't have me for long, " Shino warned her. "The reason is because my insects are immune to genjutsu, even if I'm not. Which means, I will remember you...There's no poison you could make stronger than my memory of you. And if losing you again means I have to forget what you mean to me, then I don't want the answer to breaking this jutsu. Why, you ask? Because at least here, I still have you with me, even if I'm dreaming."
And knowing just how stubborn he was, the Kamizuru's heart broke all over again, realizing that protecting Shino meant putting aside her own feelings and convincing him to choose otherwise.
"You'll regret giving up your life to stay in a dream," she said. "This bamboo grove is a different world for us, Shino. It won't be the same as out there. I don't know what we'll be to each other when we reach the other side. I just know we have to go back. Because the people we left behind are counting on us to. We still have a duty to the ones we love. We have to believe in that."
"It seems you're right," Shino said. "Even so...even if it means never having you with me, I will always remember that I had. I will not forget the time we had here."
"It's ok if you do, you know," she whispered to him. "It's probably better if you do, actually."
"It's not possible," Shino promised her with a smile against her lips. "Because how can I forget someone who makes honey loaf cake as good as you do?"
And the bee girl smiled too.
"I guess I couldn't ever forget those bugs of yours either," she admitted lightheartedly.
Then she sighed.
"Well...I guess this is it then," she said. "Are you ready to break this jutsu?"
"What did the beekeeper tell you?" Shino asked.
"The secret to breaking it is..."
"You see," the beekeeper had told his fellow Kamizuru earlier. "The nasty thing about the jutsu is that it takes the doubt inside the victims and turns it into fog, making it thicker and thicker...Haven't you noticed? This fog makes people lose their way. And when the jutsu is activated, the thicker the fog, the more it confuses them. In other words, this jutsu has no effect on someone who does not harbor doubt within themselves."
And feeling her tears brimming her eyes suddenly, the Kamizuru wrapped her arms around her Aburame again and squeezed him tightly against her.
Making the Aburame turn instantly pink from ear to ear.
"This is for courage," she said, holding onto him. "Because I believe in you, Shino. Maybe we were both lost before, but I know you can beat this fog. I always knew you were destined to become a great shinobi. Because I've always known how amazing you are. And I know, no matter what, you will find your place and always give your best in it. And maybe someday, we'll meet each other again out there, and I'll finally see just how right I was all along about you."
"Are you saying that I was trapped here because I was filled with doubt?" Shino asked, as the depth of his most complex emotions finally came to light for him. "In that case, I get what it all means now...I've really been questioning just how to live as a shinobi, now that my team has broken up. To always be together with my friends and teammates, that was my once cherished dream. Now my path isn't so clear...I see now I've doubted myself. I cling to this fog because...because I'm unsure about the world out there and what path I'm supposed to take now."
"Isn't that the funny thing about getting lost?" she said to him. "It's the only way of finding what's missing."
"Maybe what I've been missing is finding a new place of being with my friends, who keep moving forward. Not to keep the same pace as I have," Shino said. "And so, I think you're right. That's because I can't allow myself to get stuck in a place like this forever. I have to return to my village right away. I will find my path in life when I get there, and I have no doubt about that at all. I know people who live every moment striving as hard as they can to reach their goals, even when it seems so far out of reach. I know I will reach mine too."
"And so, the answer to the beekeeper's riddle is-"
"Hope," Shino finished her sentence at the same time as her.
They both blushed, and politely waited for the other to continue.
"I think it's time we both accepted our paths," the Kamizuru said to the Aburame.
"But what happens next?" Shino asked, glancing at the heavy fog hanging around them. "Is the jutsu broken now?"
"Maybe the jutsu is broken, but we haven't let go of it yet. Maybe you have the beekeeper's answer, but you don't want to believe in it?" she wondered.
Shino thought that over for a moment, studying the beautiful girl in front of him.
"I guess I can't," he said. "I can't leave this place just yet. Not until I know you'll be ok."
"Please don't worry about me, ok?" she assured him. "I'll be fine."
"Where will you go?" Shino asked her. "Is your path far away from mine?"
"I'm sorry, Shino," she answered him gently. "I can't tell you where I'm going."
"So you still don't trust me, huh?"
"It's just...I have unfinished business in my village that I need to fix," she said. "And I can't allow anyone else to get hurt because of it."
"It sounds dangerous," Shino said. "In that case, I'll come with you."
"What?"
It was the last thing she expected him to say.
"I promised the beekeeper I would protect you," Shino explained. "I have never gone back on my word."
"But Shino...you've already kept that promise to the beekeeper," she reminded him. "You don't have to worry about me anymore."
"It's not just for the beekeeper anymore that I keep that promise," Shino said. "Why, you ask? Because you wouldn't last a day on your own. That's because you're still so reckless. Just like when we were kids."
"Excuse me?" she demanded. "I dare you to say that to me again, you spineless garden slug!"
"I said I won't let you go alone," Shino repeated to her. "I'll be there to fight at your side when you need me. Ask me to do it. That's all you have to do. Just send your bees to me, and I'll come."
"No, Shino," she whispered, even though it hurt her to push him away. "I'm sorry, but you can't come with me."
"But having known you like this...Do you really think I could let you face something so dangerous alone?"
But that's the thing, Shino...
She thought sadly.
By knowing me like this, you don't know me at all...You don't know anything about me. You don't even know my name, or what knowing me will cost you in the end...I won't take that risk.
"I'm sorry, Shino. But I have to do this on my own," she said. "Please just accept that. No matter what we remember from this bamboo grove, it can't follow us into the world out there. Please forget me. After we break the jutsu, let me stay here as your beautiful dream. That's all I ask from you."
And hearing those words stung like a beekeeper's jutsu, but Shino knew he wouldn't change her mind.
He didn't have a right to, he decided.
If she wanted nothing else to do with him, then he would respect her wish.
Even if he didn't understand it.
He had to trust her to know what was best for her and her village. Wherever that was.
She would find her own way out of this fog, just like he had to find his.
"Forgetting may be impossible," Shino said. "But I will accept it. Because even if I can't forget you after this, I will never let you know that I haven't."
"Thank you. For being who you are, Shino Aburame," she said, bowing politely in parting to him. "One day, I will repay all of your kindness."
Shino lifted her chin up, gently pulling her out of her farewell bow so her gaze drew back into his.
"I will wait for the day when you're ready for me to remember you," Shino said. "But how will I know the girl I'm waiting for, if still, I never knew your name?"
"Shino, I..."
She never finished that thought.
Suddenly she felt sleepier, as her wisteria tonic steadily kicked in.
The fog around them appearing to grow thicker as twirls of mist wrapped around them.
"I think..." she said softly, closing her eyes against the spinning of her peacefully lethargic head against Shino's chest. "I have loved you since the first day I met you...And I can't think of a more beautiful end to a beautiful love story."
Shino held her tighter against him, his arms shielding her from the fog closing in on them, as his head rested against hers.
And more than anything, she hoped he was too sleepy himself to notice the tear that rolled down her cheek.
"Goodbye, Shino."
The words were silent on her lips.
Just movements.
Confused by a dream-like dizziness.
Her fingers slowly relaxing against his jacket.
Weakened and limp.
Until Shino felt her quietly slipping away from him.
But he was powerless to stop it against an unseen force outmatching his own.
A gradual loss of consciousness into a deep sleep.
Neither of them could fight the pull anymore.
In her last attempt to hang onto him, her fingers numbly wrapped around the chain of Shino's golden necklace.
The chain breaking free from around his neck, entangled between Firefly's fingers.
Shino closed his eyes, surrendering to the irresistible need for sleep.
And when he opened them again, he was staring up at the treetops of the Sora-Ku forest.
Alone.