Michaela woke to the sound of an approaching horse. Rising from the bed, she glanced out of the window, eyes locking on Dorothy's fiery red hair in the distance. Smoothing her skirt around her, Michaela opened the door, stepping out onto the porch as Dorothy dismounted and secured her horse, a warm smile forming as she arrived at Michaela's side.
"Afternoon, Michaela. Just thought I'd stop by, see how you were doin'," The older woman clasped her hands awkwardly in her lap, not sure if her presence would be welcomed.
"Well, everything's fine," Michaela gestured for Dorothy to go inside, following behind her and closing the door.
"Colleen and Brian back at school?" Dorothy queried, as she stood awkwardly in the middle of the homestead.
"Somewhat reluctantly, but yes. Please, have a seat, would you like some tea?" Michaela traveled quickly across the room, Dorothy accepting quickly.
"Oh, but, I can do it. You sit," Dorothy arrived by her friend's side, her concern obvious.
"Dorothy, don't be silly. I'm perfectly capable of making tea," Michaela shook her head, and began putting the pot on the stove to heat.
There was silence, Dorothy glancing around the now-familiar homestead, although at a loss for words. She'd been instructed by Olive to 'check-up' on Dr Mike, however she surmised from Michaela's crisp words and swift movements, she wouldn't be tolerable to any sympathy.
"So, how is everyone? No problems or anything?" Michaela took a seat opposite Dorothy, the redhead raising her eyebrows as she considered the question.
"No. Jake pulled a tooth yesterday for one of Olive's ranchers, that's about it," she replied, Michaela nodding in response, again the pair found themselves in silence.
"Colleen and Brian all right?" Dorothy searched desperately for words.
"Fine, so is Matthew. We had a party for Brian yesterday, so we've some left-over cake." Michaela rose, Dorothy watching in silence as she carefully sliced two pieces, placing them onto small China dishes.
"Looks delicious," Dorothy smiled, Michaela finishing making the tea, setting the cups gently on the table.
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The pair remained silent whilst they ate, each glancing up at the other at random intervals, quickly returning their attention to their cake and tea in front of them.
Dorothy, sliding the fork delicately onto the edge of her plate, decided enough was enough.
"Michaela, Olive and I, we've been worried about you. How you doin'? Really?"
"I told you, I'm fine." Michaela finished the last mouthful of tea, replacing the cup on the saucer eloquently.
"We've just been worried. Olive said you've not spoken to her about what happened, and you've only spoken with me the once and, well, I know it's not something you can keep bottled up forever." Dorothy took a breath, trying to convey her concern in a non-confrontational manner.
"What is this, Dorothy, you and Olive checking up on me?" Michaela flicked her hair back over her shoulder, her words short.
"No, Michaela, we're just concerned. Want you to know we're here for you," Dorothy trailed off, her voice softer against Michaela's obvious unease.
"Then I appreciate your concern, but it's not necessary." Michaela reached for Dorothy's cup and saucer, sliding them back across the table towards her as she dismissed Dorothy's earlier statement.
"Just if it were me, I think, I know I'd want a friend to talk to. A friend who's been through, somthin' similar," Dorothy phrased her final two words carefully, reminded of the times Michaela had comforted her after her husband's death.
"You weren't there, you can't say it was anything like," Michaela got to her feet quickly, her hands shaking slightly as she carried the dishes across to the basin.
"You're right, I can't. But I do know what it's like to be alone, scared, lyin' curled up, in so much pain you can't move, not knowing when it's gonna end, not knowing if you're gonna live to see," Dorothy had stood from her chair as she spoke, crossing the room towards Michaela, who remained facing the window, her hands clenched tightly against the cupboard.
"Stop it!" Michaela pulled her hands quickly from the wooden counter in front of her, turning suddenly towards Dorothy, her face red.
Dorothy, her eyes looking upwards and head straightening in response to Michaela's strained plea. Careful, so as to not move an inch, Dorothy kept her gaze on her friend's face, waiting. Knowing that if she just waited, said nothing, Michaela brought her hands to her face after a moment, shielding her eyes as she dropped her head. Dorothy could barely make out the sound of her voice, it was muffled by her arms as she dropped them from her face, slowly with each word.
"Can't you see, I don't want to remember! I don't want to have to think about it. I just, want to be able to put it behind me. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to have people feeling sorry for me. I just want to go on with my life, like it didn't happen. I know you're trying to show me you care. I know that and I am grateful but, this is the only way I know how to deal with this, Dorothy."
Dorothy watched as Michaela very delicately recomposed herself throughout her final sentences. Her face returned to its natural color, her arms hung loosely by her sides. Knowing that to have expressed herself so openly was an enormous challenge for Michaela. Dorothy remained silent, content, if not agreeing with her friend's proposed coping strategy.
The two women stood motionless for a minute or so, each looking around the room before assessing the other's reaction, neither wanting to be the first to speak.
"Dorothy, there is one thing I needed to ask you. You didn't, I mean, the last time I was sick, the children sent a telegram home, I just," Michaela, her voice returned to its original level of confidence and tact.
"No, oh, of course not, Michaela. Loren said people were talkin' about it but Matthew was pretty firm, said it wouldn't be right," Dorothy replied, her voice slightly questioning, unsure if the town had made the right decision.
"Thank God for Matthew," Michaela relaxed her shoulders, Dorothy not quite comprehending.
"You're not gonna tell them? Michaela, they're your family," Dorothy shook her head, bewildered, her eyebrows lowering in a mixture of disbelief and condemnation.
"Exactly. They're my family, Dorothy. Please, you don't understand, it's different here," Michaela tried to end the conversation, however images of her mother and sisters and their families, still fresh from their trip to Boston last year, filling her mind.
"Michaela, nothing can be that different, they're your family, they love you, they," Michaela cut her off instantly.
"They'd disown me, Dorothy!" Michaela drew a breath, hearing her voice shake
Dorothy digested her friend's statement, neither having any words to follow with.
Dorothy quietly stood from the table, and stacked the dishes, carrying them across to the bench.
Michaela glanced around the room, to the photos on the bookshelf, to her medical bag and then to her medical degree on the wall, as if seeing the items for the first time.
"Is there anything I can help you with Michaela?" Dorothy moved back to the table and slowly sat down.
"I don't think," Michaela paused, knowing there was something.
Dorothy saw the hesitance in her friend's face.
"Anything, Michaela," Dorothy encouraged with an open smile.
"I'd really like to wash my hair," Michaela looked over to her directly.
Dorothy's smiled broadened. "Well, of course we can," Dorothy replied.
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"Here, sit. Let's tidy up what we can first, then we can go outside and get the water," Dorothy pulled out the wooden dining chair for Michaela, waiting until she sat down, before stepping away and taking a seat beside her.
Michaela felt the hardness of the chair under her and second-guessed her request.
She looked downwards as she felt Dorothy reach for the first clump of hair behind her left shoulder.
Between the dull pain radiating from her pelvis and the sensation of Dorothy's fingers against her hair, Michaela struggled to stay present.
Dorothy could sense her friend's discomfort but knew to stay quiet. Michaela would speak if she wished to.
Michaela felt her shoulders tense involuntarily as Dorothy began detangling the first clump of knots at the bottom of her hair.
"Just take me a few minutes to get some of these knots out," Dorothy spoke quietly, unsure as to how they were going to fill the painful silence.
Michaela simply nodded, reaching for the hair resting over her right shoulder. Without speaking, she studied the fine strands against her fingertips. She could smell the remnants of smoke.
Michaela noticed the crusty scabs forming on the back of her knuckles. Her gaze moving downwards, she saw the yellowing bruises around her wrists, left as fading reminders of the rawhide.
She closed her eyes, able to feel the intense pain across her cheek as he had struck her.
"Michaela?" Dorothy checked, seeing her friend startle momentarily, and open her eyes. "Are you sure you still want to do this?"
Tiredly, she simply nodded.
As Dorothy continued silently detangling Michaela's hair, she thought back over the time Michaela had examined her after Marcus' final beating.
Dorothy sighed; Michaela had been supportive, caring, gentle, and most importantly, non-judgmental.
Michaela appreciated the silence; balancing her thoughts between awareness of physical discomfort, and intrusive memories of her time away.
No words were spoken, as Dorothy diligently kept working on her hair, all the while Michaela found her attention alternating between Dorothy's fingers against her hair and feeling the dog soldier's hands on her body.
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Michaela was the first to hear the approaching horse, turning her head towards the door, Dorothy catching on quickly and moving quickly to the window.
"It's Brian, I'll go," Dorothy opened the door, slipping out onto the porch as the young boy slowed the horse to a stop, dismounting with a surprised glance at Dorothy.
"Hey, Miss Dorothy," Brian nodded politely, tying the horse next to Dorothy's and running up the steps eagerly.
"Afternoon, Brian. Everything all right?" She asked, a hand resting on his shoulder, to appear concerned, but in reality, to prolong his entrance into the homestead.
"I guess," he paused, looking between Dorothy and the closed door, his face immediately adopting a look of worry.
"Ma's all right, ain't she?" He tried to step past Dorothy, instantly able to detect the stalling that was taking place.
"Oh, she's fine, sweetheart. How about if you go put Taffy away, though, just give your ma a few minutes?" Dorothy suggested, Brian looking none-pleased with the request, however turned back towards the steps in compliance.
"Brian?" Michaela opened the door behind Dorothy, both her and Brian turning at the sound of the third voice. Brian beamed, passing Dorothy swiftly to arrive at Michaela's side, returning her hug desperately.
"Are you sick, has something happened?" Michaela automatically felt his forehead and looked him up and down in concern.
"No, I ain't sick, I just. Kids at school were bein' mean," Brian clung to her waist tighter, not sure if he was going to get into trouble.
Dorothy, seeing that Michaela now had her hands full, decided to make herself scarce.
"Anyway, I'd best be gettin' back to the store, Loren'll be wantin' his afternoon break an' all. You need anythin' from town or anythin'?" Dorothy held her hands behind her back, stepping carefully down to the ground and untying her horse, squinting against the sunlight.
"No but I do appreciate the offer Dorothy, and thank-you for today. I'll see you Monday back in town," Michaela replied curtly, yet with sincerity, Dorothy slightly surprised by Michaela's decision to return to work so soon, however knowing that attempting to challenge her on the issue would be pointless.
"All right then, take care Brian, good day Michaela," Dorothy mounted the horse, nodding her goodbyes as she turned and proceeded away from the homestead.
"Now, what was all that about, young man?" Michaela bent down habitually to look the boy in the eye, momentarily being reminded that it wasn't such a wise move. Keeping her glance fixed on the boy's troubled face, she extended her right hand to the ground to balance herself.
"Can Sully come for supper, Ma?" Brian replied quickly, remembering Sully's words about keeping the school incidents from his mother.
Michaela's eyebrows raised, his question startling her more because it was so far from what she'd expected than because of the content.
"I, I guess so. When did you see Sully?" She asked, looking out towards the scrub she'd seen him departing from that morning.
"In town 'bout an hour ago, he said he'd like to come if you said it's all right," Brian continued, his voice rapidly paced, rich with excitement.
"It's fine by me, I don't know what we're going to have though," Michaela led the boy inside as he informed her of Matthew's fishing expedition he'd told him about that morning during their ride into town.
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"No, Benjamin, it's not just a bit of fun, you've all gone too far." The Reverend paced around the two front rows of boys, his hands crossed tightly over his chest.
"We didn't mean to hurt Colleen, Reverend but she was really fightin' me," The oldest student defended, not being able to resist the chance at sneaking a small smile to Cal, on his right.
"That's beside the point, Benjamin. What did you think you were doing, playing a game like that anyway, that's just cruel." Timothy shook his head, trying to get a rational answer from one of the five students around him.
"The Reverend's right, I didn't know it was gonna get all that serious, honest. Just thought it was a bit of chasing," Lewis, seated behind Benjamin spoke quietly, deeply ashamed at his involvement.
"Thank-you, Lewis, that's more like it. I mean, did any of you bother to think about it from Colleen and Brian's point of view? How'd any of you be if something like that happened to your ma? Benjamin? You think it'd be one big game if you were in Brian's shoes?" The Reverend continued, trying to appeal to any bone of sensitivity Benjamin Avery may possess.
"Never happen to my ma, Reverend. She'd never give herself to an Injun," he retorted instantly, several of the boys covering their mouths with their hands to hide their sniggering.
"Right, that's it! I've had it with the lot of you. We're gonna get one thing straight. And it's not something I like having to talk to children about, however, I'm your teacher and I think it's important we cover this. Any of your parents have a problem, they can come and speak with me tomorrow." Timothy reached for his Bible which lay in the middle of his desk, skimming a few pages, before placing it back down, deciding quickly that the Good Book wasn't going to be of any use on the matter.
"We are just gonna sit here and talk about this. I don't care if it makes anyone uncomfortable, that's just bad luck." The Reverend cleared his throat, before continuing: "Benjamin, tell us, what does the word violate mean?" Timothy clasped his hands together, watching as the most outspoken member of his class suddenly became very quiet, turning a bright red color. The boys across the row all fixed their eyes on him, Benjamin looking awkwardly between Cal and the Reverend before tentatively replying.
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"What about cookies, Ma? Even you can make them pretty good now," Brian looked up from the brown leather recipe book in front of him, trying to decide on something for dessert.
"Oh, I can, can I? Thank-you for that vote of confidence," Michaela chuckled, throwing a dish cloth at him across the table.
"I just meant, if you wanted to make something before Colleen got home," Brian stopped, hearing Pup start barking outside.
"It's Sully! Sully's here!" The young boy bounded towards the front door, Michaela getting to her feet, beginning to pick up loose items around the table and returning them to various locations around the room. Feeling her teeth grip her lower lip, she followed Brian through the front door, arriving onto the porch as Sully approached, Pup running over to greet Wolf excitedly.
"Hey Sully!" Brian looked between Michaela and Sully, unable to decide who to stay with, Sully reaching the porch whilst he was still choosing.
"Heya Brian," Sully placed his arm on the boy's shoulder, looking tentatively at Michaela, all efforts desperately focused into appearing calm and relaxed.
"Sully, Ma said you can stay for supper," Brian quickly informed him, Michaela looking from Brian to Sully, a small smile creeping across her face at Brian's tactlessness.
"Afternoon, Dr Mike." He met her smile hesitantly, Brian beginning to pull him inside.
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"Right, well I think that just about covers it, don't you?" The Reverend looked around the deathly silent classroom, each of the five boys remaining frozen in their seats.
Charles, raising his hand nervously, looked from each of the boys around him, and then back to the Reverend.
"Um Reverend, um the only thing I don't understand, um, yesterday, um my pa says that the girl's at the Saloon are whores coz they go with men, so how come you said what Benjamin said yesterday weren't true?" Charles questioned curiously.
"Because, as we just talked about when we talked about consent, the girls at the Saloon choose to work for Hank, they choose to do that sort of thing when they're not married." Timothy tried to explain, Lewis looking slightly concerned and raising him arm in protest.
"Not Myra, Reverend. She don't want to do it anymore but Hank's forcin' her. Ain't that wrong, then?" Lewis tried to apply his newly acquired knowledge to his Uncle's sweetheart.
"Ah, Lewis, it's a little different but, I ah believe we've covered what we needed to this afternoon. Anyone have any questions?" Timothy concluded, the looks of nauseous embarrassment on each of the boys' faces sufficing.
"Then, you're all free to go home. And just remember everything I've said front now on." Slowly, the classroom burst into hurried movement. The Reverend sighed, wiping his hand awkwardly across his forehead, taking a seat as he actually retraced the conversation he'd just had with the boys. Waiting until all had left, Timothy reached for his bible, skimming through several chapters trying to find some solace, however being met with contradiction and confusion.
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"You really struck gold with this lot, Matthew," Sully looked from the fillets of freshly fried fish to the eldest Cooper child, everyone making their way quickly to the table.
"Yeah, didn't look like anything was gonna bite but then all of a sudden four in a row. Came in handy, seeing as how Brian invited you," Matthew phrased the final point awkwardly, raising an eyebrow in Brian's direction.
Michaela looked around the table, everyone quickly joining hands and lowering their heads, Brian taking care of the blessing.
"God, thank-you for giving Matthew the fish to catch, for Colleen cooking it, and for Sully coming to eat it. And thank-you most for bringing Ma back. Amen." Colleen and Matthew exchanged smiles at Brian's now standard addition to their nightly blessing, Sully keeping his eyes downcast so as not to risk glancing in Michaela's direction.
"So, Sully, whatcha been gettin' up to?" Matthew queried as the food began being passed around the table and dished onto plates.
"Nothin' much, checkin' traps," he lied slightly, thanking Brian as he awkwardly passed him the fish.
"Ma and Colleen gave me a Birthday party yesterday, Sully, wish ya coulda come, it was great," Brian trailed off, smiling between his mother and sister.
"You certainly ate enough cake, wonder you weren't ill," Colleen rolled her eyes, moving awkwardly to reach for the beans which were placed in front of Brian, who was sitting between Michaela and Sully.
"Ah, may I have the beans, please," The young girl tilted her head slightly, struggling to reach across the table.
"Here," Michaela and Sully replied in unison, looking down quickly as their hands met, gripping the edge of the china bowl.
"Sorry," Michaela pulled her hand away instantly, as if her fingertips had been burnt by fire. Sully handed the bowl to Colleen, his eyes never leaving Michaela, as he watched her struggle to avoid his powerful gaze.
"Sully, reckon we could go swimmin' tomorrow? Sully?" Brian looked up from his plate, not having received a response.
Sully's eyes remained locked on Michaela, glancing down at his own dinner only momentarily before returning his glance subtly to watch her pick at her meal.
"Suullllyyy?" Brian whined, feeling neglected, Colleen and Matthew both trying to silence their brother's childish pleas.
"So, ah Colleen. How was school?" Matthew spoke firmly, trying to draw attention away from Brian, in hope of a nice non-threatening conversation.
"Oh fine," Colleen glared back at him, anxious to change the subject.
"It was n, oww!" Brian began, receiving a gentle kick from Sully under the table, handing his head and returning his attention to the food in front of him.
"Yeah, Brian. Sounds like a great idea tomorrow. Swimmin', if it's warm enough though," Sully chewed on the food in his mouth thoughtfully, Michaela glancing counter-clockwise around the table, from Colleen, to Matthew, Brian and finally Sully; there was an under-current here she wasn't being included in.
"Great. Colleen what'd you make for dessert?" Brian laid his knife down beside his fork gently, eager to move on to his favorite part of the meal.
"Nothin' 'til you finish those vegetables," his older sister replied tersely, but with a hint of a smile in her eyes.
Sully looked between each of the children in turn, before daring one quick glance in Michaela's direction, the awkwardness he was feeling only increasing. The meal continued for a few more minutes in utter silence, one of the children eventually attempting to launch into a subject, however each dying out after several sentences.
"May we be excused?" Matthew waited until everyone had finished their main course, pushing his plate away.
"Don't you feel like dessert?" Michaela looked up, aware of the tension surrounding the conversation and feeling disheartened by it.
"Nah, come on, Brian. What do you say to a game of checkers?" Matthew drew the boy's attention away, the two departing the table swiftly and setting up the checkers board on the middle of Michaela's bed.
"So, we having dessert or not?" Colleen turned the corner of her mouth up slightly, feeling slightly depressed by the uncomfortable meal they'd just shared.
"Sully?" Michaela looked to Sully, knowing he would refuse.
"I'm fine, still light out," he noted, getting to his feet and peering through the front window.
"Not too windy, either," Colleen contributed, glancing from the side windows as she began stacking dishes.
About to ask Michaela if she wanted to join him outside, Sully kept his mouth closed, merely opening the door and stepping out onto the porch, keeping the door ajar, so as to look as if he'd just not managed to close it fully.
"Dr Mike?" Colleen turned, Michaela arriving at her side to help with the dishes.
"Thought I'd give you a hand," Michaela replied, Colleen taking the dish cloth from her with a shake of her head.
"No, you're gonna go outside, talk to Sully. Why do ya think he went out there?" Colleen smiled, Matthew looking up from their checkers game to nod affirmatively.
"Colleen's right, Dr Mike. Ya know he's dying to talk to ya," Matthew raised his eyebrows, chuckling as he made a double jump over two of Brian's pieces.
"I know. Believe me, I know," Michaela sighed looking between each of the children resolutely, before crossing the room to the doorway, trying not to make any sound as she slipped through the door.