Chapter Ten: Chasing You Home
Danny watched Sam's sleeping face, entranced by how peaceful she looked. The rising sun cast faint light across her cheeks, her eyelids twitching a little with whatever she was dreaming about. It was as if a burden had been lifted from her shoulders ever since their conversation after returning from Lancer's house. The looks she gave him were less worried, as if she wasn't afraid he would simply shatter at any given moment. She laughed more, looked at him with hope instead of fear and concern. He couldn't stand that he had put her through so much lately.
In many ways, he too had felt better this week. It felt good to simply allow himself to love her, to not pretend like he didn't want to have something more than friendship. It was a relief to allow their touches to linger, to not pull his hand away or avert his eyes when moments became too charged. His sluggish heart would race faster when she was near, defenses weakening.
And yet, he couldn't shake the sense that something terrible would come of this. Nothing in his life had ever ended well, not even leaving Amity Park. His isolation had merely morphed into a different kind of loneliness, and Sam had been forced to share some piece of it with him. A big part of him felt selfish for giving up the fight. He wasn't good for her, and it was wrong to let this happen. But he couldn't stop himself from letting things unravel, he couldn't stuff his feelings for her down any longer. It had been wearing both of them down, maybe more than he had even realized.
With her next to him like this, he could feel the truth: there was no going back from this. He wouldn't be able to give it up again, not after having her in his arms, not after seeing the look in her eyes after he had returned that kiss. The very thing he had feared in Amity- that he would be too weak to let her go if he allowed himself to dwell on his feelings- was coming true. He knew it was the wrong choice, but he couldn't go back to how things were. She was the best thing in his half-life, the only good he had left. He couldn't tell anymore whether it was ghostly obsession or simple human weakness to cling to her like this.
Sam was an adult and she was strong-willed. Danny knew that she was more than capable of making her own choices, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling like it was his responsibility to push her away. He had promised to always come back, but it was because he was just too weak to lose her. He couldn't survive one more loss, one more heartbreak. Danny had desperately hoped that she would heed his warning, that she'd do what he couldn't and be the one to let go.
"What a pair we make." He whispered, pulling her tighter to him. He had said the same words in Amity. God, they were both such messes. What kind of girl would want anything to do with him? Only one as stubborn as Sam it seemed. There was no changing her mind once she had made it up, it had always been that way. It was her best and most infuriating quality.
This would end in disaster, he knew that. But until it did, he would cherish it. It was a special miracle that she had found him and refused to give up on him. If Sam believed that he wasn't a lost cause, the best he could do was return her conviction. He needed to prove himself worthy of her faith. He had one foot in the afterlife, true. But he had another here still, for whatever reason. Something in him had fought so hard for so long to survive, to cling onto the little life he had left. There had been so many days when he himself didn't know why he was fighting so hard, not when his circumstances seemed so impossibly hopeless and miserable. And now that reason was here, cradled in his arms.
The sunlight was growing brighter as the minutes ticked by and Sam began to stir. Her eyes opened, blinking against the morning rays. She looked adorably irritated, no more a morning person than she had been when they were kids. A scowl adorned her face, hair tangled and a spot of makeup she must have missed last night smudged across her cheek.
"What are you smiling about?" She asked, maybe a touch rudely. His grin only grew, melting a little at her grouchy tone.
"You just look so beautiful." He said fondly. Sam groaned, burying her face into his shoulder.
"That's a big lie." She mumbled. Genuine joy bubbled in his chest and he laughed, amazed that he could have this simple moment at all. It was unthinkable, it should be impossible.
"It's true." He insisted.
"I haven't even put my face on yet." Sam answered back.
"You don't need to, your face is perfect as is." He promised. It was true, she was unfairly pretty. He had spent enough time trying to ignore it. "But I do like the scary makeup too." He added. It had been a little intimidating in middle school when she started to ring her eyes in black and dye her hair, but it grew on him quickly. She looked cool, untouchable and tough as nails. When she shaved half her head in seventh grade, he thought it was the most badass thing he'd ever seen a girl do. Her mother had thrown a huge fit over it.
Sam raised her head, giving him an unimpressed look.
"Scary?" She repeated. But the little twitch of her lips betrayed her amusement.
"Very." He said solemnly. "And I'm a ghost, so I'm an official authority on all things spooky." That got a real smile from her. She always lit up when he let himself joke and be playful. Danny thought he had lost that part of himself long ago, but it had returned to him at least a little bit when she showed back up in Amity. He felt a little thrill every time he made her laugh or smile, proud of himself for still being able to.
"Well, count me flattered then." She said, sitting up with a yawn. She stretched, raising her arms above her head. "Are you ready for today?" She asked.
Danny's mood fell a little at that. Right, they were flying out to Chicago today. It filled him with a little dread to think about returning to Illinois. Their trip just last weekend to the Lancers had proven to be nearly too much for him to handle. Danny sighed, half wishing he had never agreed to go.
"Ready as I'll ever be, I guess." He responded. Sam nodded at that, searching his face for anything else he wanted to say. He could handle this, he could keep from freaking out on her again. Right?
"Are you absolutely sure?" Sam asked, looking a little nervous. Was she really giving him the chance to back out? He couldn't do that to her though. It wasn't right to make her go by herself and face those memories on her own. Besides, it's not like he needed to talk to anyone there. Unless her parents actually did show up, but he was pretty sure that was not going to happen.
"Positive." He said firmly. Danny had been putting her through enough stress lately. And he was keeping things from her, dancing around certain subjects. It killed him that she could tell, it hurt him even more that she trusted him enough to not pry. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn't bring himself to explain that even here he could still see and sense spirits. Especially since something seemed to linger around her, no doubt his own fault. Sam was accepting and she had never made him feel bad about his ghostliness, but he felt too ashamed to confess it himself. He was trying to prove to Sam that he could live a normal, functional, human life. He didn't want to keep disappointing her.
"Well, we'd better finish packing." She said, reluctantly rolling out of bed. Their flight wasn't until 2pm but they had both slacked on packing last night. Aubrey asking to have dinner again had thrown a wrench in their plans to do it all on Thursday, but Danny knew that Aubrey made Sam happy. That girl scared him, she was much more perceptive than he had originally given her credit for. But he could put up with her if it made Sam feel good. Besides, she wasn't that bad. She was funny and very friendly, even to a weird shut-in like himself. He just really hoped that she'd never bring up Amity Park to him again.
"I guess you're right." Danny said, following after her. He slipped into his bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth and attempting to comb his hair into something manageable. Like usual, it was a lost cause. Looking in the mirror, he couldn't help but notice that his face looked less tired than usual. The dark circles that had been a part of his reflection for years had faded somewhat. Something this wrong shouldn't feel so good, shouldn't fill him with so much relief.
The comment that Tucker had made about him not being willing to let Sam go flashed through his mind again. While he had wanted Sam to be able to leave Amity more than anything else, there was some truth in that statement. It stung, knowing that he was making the wrong choices, that he knew it and was doing nothing to stop it.
"Danny, I already packed your tux by the way!" Sam called from the hallway, interrupting his thoughts. He shook his head, quickly splashing some water on his face.
"Thanks!" He called back. Sam had some kind of special garment bag for his formal wear, she had nearly cried out in disbelief when he tried to fold it with the rest of his clothes last night. He was really clueless when it came to this sort of thing, fashion had never meant anything to him really. He couldn't dress at all in middle school, stubbornly wearing the same few shirts and jeans everyday with his ratty converse. And in Amity, well there was no option other than just lifting clothing from wherever he could find it. Now everything he owned had been bought by Sam, and while she still catered to his casual taste he could tell that the fabrics were nicer. She always ripped the labels off of the clothes before giving it to him though, so there was no telling how much his new wardrobe cost.
He finished up in the bathroom before shuffling back into his room and pulling out some sweats and a shirt for the airport. The plane ride had not been very comfortable last weekend and he regretted wearing jeans then. He had really underestimated how cramped it would be in those seats, never having flown since hitting his growth spurt. He hadn't been on a plane before Sam since he was really little and his family flew to Arkansas to visit his aunt Alicia.
Danny frowned, tugging his sweats on. It was upsetting to think about the extended family that he still had out there. Sam had tried suggesting before that he should reach out, but he couldn't do that to them. They had mourned already long ago, he didn't need to disrupt their lives like that. Besides, he couldn't handle the thought that his own flesh and blood might reject him as he was now.
"Stop thinking about these things." He hissed to himself under his breath. Sometimes his mind seemed like his greatest enemy, forcing him to relive memories he'd rather forget and contemplate scenarios he'd rather die than face. He had gone through plenty in his half-life already, it was no good to make shit up in his head on top of all that.
Sam reappeared in his doorway, holding a piece of paper with a self-satisfied smile.
"I have a surprise for you!" She said in a sing-song voice. She held it out to him. He took it, reading the small print. It was the receipt for their tickets.
"First class?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "I've never been in first class." Not much opportunity, having only been on a plane a few times before.
"First time for everything!" Sam replied.
"I thought you hated this kind of stuff. This is pretty fancy." He added, waving the paper. Sam blushed a little, pushing her hair behind her ear. God, she was so cute.
"Well, I might be resistant to the idea, but you're a whole foot taller than me. You looked pretty miserable last time." His stomach grumbled, reminding him that it was breakfast o'clock.
"They serve good food up there, right?" He asked, hesitantly excited. It was new and novel and he would have actual room for his legs.
"Definitely better than peanuts and soda." She confirmed. His stomach growled again and Sam laughed, plucking the paper back from his hand. "Finish packing so we can get some food."
Danny nodded, pulling on his shirt as she left the room to attend to her own things. He hurried, throwing a random assortment of clothes into his duffle bag. It was only a weekend, really the tux was the big item and he didn't even need to worry about that. He snagged his toiletries from the bathroom, tossing those in as well. Well, that was done.
Slinging the bag over his shoulder, Danny crossed into the living room. Sam was checking off an actual list of things at the kitchen island. Despite her look and attitude, she was such a Type A personality. No wonder she always did so much better in school than him and Tucker. They often asked to copy her notes, and she would always sigh and roll her eyes before calling them lazy. But she always shared them anyway.
"You all packed up?" Sam asked over her shoulder.
"Yup." He set his bag down, joining her at the island. Two steaming cups of coffee were waiting on the countertop. He took his gratefully, savoring the first sip.
"I'm just double-checking everything and then we can go after our coffee." She said, taking a sip of her own.
"How much is there to check for just the weekend?" Danny asked, eyeing the list. It was long.
"I'd rather be over-prepared than under-prepared." She said with a flick of her pen. He looked around her, spying the huge suitcase she had propped up next to the front door.
"Evidently." He figured there must be lots of supplies needed for her gala outfit.
"I think that's everything." Sam said, clicking her pen. She picked up her mug and drained the last of it. "Let's go grab some breakfast."
Danny let out a low whistle.
"So this is how the other half lives?" He asked, looking at their seats. They were plush, with actual leg room. A pillow and blanket rested on each seat, along with a little desk next to the window. There was even a curtain that could be drawn for privacy. He put his duffle bag in the overhead compartment before sinking into his seat.
"Well, the actual filthy rich just have their own private planes." Sam said, sitting next to him. Her suitcase had been too big to bring onboard with them, it had been checked and put with the rest of the checked luggage. Danny peeked out the window, excited for the view once they got into the air.
"That seems excessive." He said. "Your family never had a private jet, did they?" He asked, a little horrified. Sam laughed.
"We're not that wealthy. Besides, I would have never shut up about the environmental nightmare that flying everywhere is to my parents." Danny couldn't really understand the nuances, rich was rich to him. And after eight years living in the Manson mansion, they might as well have been royalty in his eyes. Really, why did a family of four need that many bedrooms?
"My family just took the GAV everywhere." Danny said. Sam gave him a quizzical look.
"The what?" She asked. Danny chuckled a little, realizing at that moment that sentence would have been nonsense to anyone who didn't grow up with his family's particular brand of crazy.
"The Ghost Assault Vehicle. It was a glorified RV, just tricked out with a bunch of their inventions." Danny hadn't really been too keen on sharing the details of his parents' work with his friends, having always been deeply embarrassed by it. He could understand why Sam had waited so long to tell him and Tucker about her family's wealth. It was too bad that his parents were never vindicated about the whole 'ghosts are real' thing to the wider world. Now they were forever just the weirdos whose experiments wiped a town off the map.
"Oh, that thing." Sam said, clearly recalling the ugly vehicle. "I wonder what the environmental impact of that thing was." He shrugged.
"Not bad, honestly. Their stuff was powered by all sorts of alternative energy sources. Their end goal was to have ecto-energy power all their stuff, but obviously that was impossible until they had a stable source for it." He was saddened, remembering how often he blew them off whenever they excitedly talked about their work. "They were brilliant." He admitted.
Sam's hand found his own, squeezing it.
"Hey. I'm glad that you're talking about them." She said. "I know it's painful, but it's good to remember." Danny gave her a weak smile. He remembered constantly, more than he would like too.
"This is your captain speaking, we are preparing for take-off." Danny sighed, glad this conversation was interrupted. He let his mind fixate on the announcements and safety protocols, listening as if his life depended on it. As if it would actually matter to him if the plane took a dive, and he couldn't just fly himself.
A pretty flight attendant came by to check their seat belts and make sure their things were properly stowed away.
"Have a great flight." she said with a bright white smile, before slipping off to check the other passengers.
Danny felt excitement when the plane started to move, slowly inching down the runway. He had been too grumpy to appreciate the flight last time, but it honestly was cool. He didn't have the experience Sam did with traveling, and planes did tickle the nerdy part of his brain that admired space shuttles. It was truly a feat of human engineering that they had figured out how to fly.
The plane kicked into gear, speeding down the runway before inching up, rising into the sky. A smile rose to his lips. Sam gave him a curious look, smiling too.
"I didn't realize first class would make you enjoy flying so much."
"It's not just that, I do think planes are neat." Danny said, enjoying the way his stomach felt as the plane ascended. It was thrilling to be flying and not be the one in control. "I used to play a flight simulator for shuttles. I tried regular commercial flights a couple times, it was fun."
"It's a lot less scary than being dangled by just a pair of arms in the sky." Sam joked. Danny chuckled darkly.
"You wouldn't say that if you knew about all the ways planes have failed. I have a 100% success rate." Sam looked a little nervous at that, glancing out the window as if to check that the plane wasn't bursting into flame outside.
"Don't joke about that!" She chided. "Not while we're on the plane, you jerk." She added with a light punch. He laughed again, nudging her back.
"I'll rescue you if anything happens, even if you just insulted my excellent flight service."
"You dropped me!" Sam said, clearly not over him letting her go mid-air.
"But I caught you, didn't I?" He said seriously. She glared at him, but he knew her well enough to identify which glares were real and which were to cover up a smile. Sam reached into her pocket, pulling out a package of gum.
"Want some? For when your ears pop?" She asked, pulling a piece for herself.
"My ears don't pop." Danny said.
"Ever?!" She asked, looking shocked.
"Nope. It would kinda be a nuisance for me if they did, wouldn't it?" He asked, trying to imagine how irritating flying would be if he was as sensitive to changes in air pressure as normal humans. Sam unwrapped her gum, popping it into her mouth with a thoughtful look.
"I wonder how many little things are different for you." She said. She gave him a quick look, before flushing red. "No offense."
"None taken." He shrugged. Honestly, she was maybe the one person who didn't make him feel weird about the whole ghost thing. It was why he felt so bad for hiding certain things. "There's probably a lot that I don't even notice or think about anymore."
"You probably don't get goosebumps, since you don't get cold." She mused.
"Nope." He confirmed. She frowned, clearly thinking of more little things. It was kinda cute, honestly.
"You sweat though." She said. "How does that make sense?"
"Your guess is as good as mine. I don't really get hot either, everything feels the same to me temperature-wise. Maybe it's only when I've exerted myself?" He offered. Now he was a little confused about that too.
"Do you get itchy? Or have the hiccups?" She asked completely seriously. Her inner reporter was showing itself.
"Yes." Danny said, stifling a laugh. "And before you test it out, yes I get ticklish too." Sam got a downright devious glint in her eyes.
"Alcohol doesn't really do much for you, but what about other things? Have you ever smoked weed?" She asked excitedly. Danny wasn't expecting that.
"Um…I don't know actually. There wasn't really much just laying around, so I've never done it. Have you?" He asked, eyes widening.
"Duh." Sam said. "I'm a plant-lover. I've done shrooms before, a couple times actually. Aubrey wanted to try it with me after I did it by myself." Danny felt like a complete nerd.
"I've never done anything really, I guess." He said. "But I would assume it would be the same as alcohol and meds. Probably wouldn't do much." There were many things he had mourned with his lost youth, but he hadn't ever really thought about things like smoking and partying and other dumb stuff that teens and young adults got up to. If things had been different, would he have experimented with that sort of stuff? None of it had appealed to him before, but he had barely been a freshman when he got into the accident. Who knows, maybe in another lifetime he would have become a degenerate party-goer.
"Who knows, you could always try if you were curious, just to see." Sam said, leaning back into her chair. "It's not hard to get in California."
"I'm not too old for that?" Danny asked, raising his eyebrows. Sam laughed.
"Danny, we're both young. You're not too old for anything yet." Danny's mind wandered a little too much with what that suggested, and he turned his head to hide his blush.
"You're probably right." He said, letting the conversation naturally end there.
The rest of the flight passed pretty quickly, infinitely more pleasant than when he had been cramped and irritable last weekend. The food they brought out was pretty good, some sort of pasta dish with bread and a side salad. They even included a pad of butter for the bread, as well as a little slice of cheesecake.
"Fis ith delishush." Danny declared around a bite of pasta.
"It's alright." Sam said, daintily wiping her mouth with her napkin. "The vegan options are still not great." She could be prim sometimes, even if she didn't realize it.
Once their food was finished, their dirty plates were quickly claimed. Danny leaned his chair back a little, soaking up every minute. He tried not to think too much about their destination and to just enjoy the journey. Sadly, it couldn't last and sooner than he expected the seatbelt light clicked back on and the pilot announced their descent. He watched in disappointment as the ground grew closer to them. The wheels made contact with the tarmac not much longer after and he sighed. Well, journey over.
"Illinois." Sam said nervously. She leaned over, looking at the airport around them as the plane made its way to their terminal. The last time either of them had been here, they had just escaped the remains of Amity Park. It set Danny on edge being back, he didn't really have much desire to return anywhere close to where he had been trapped for eight years.
Another perk of first class was that they got to get off the plane first. Sam may have not wanted to be back in Illinois anymore than him, but she was not the type to dilly-dally. He trailed after her as she marched through the airport, on a mission to get her luggage from baggage claim as soon as possible. It was impressive how fast she could walk with such short legs.
As soon as her purple suitcase appeared on the carousel, she snatched it and started tugging it towards the exit. The thing was nearly her size, it looked ridiculous. They emerged outside, ready to flag a taxi down. Since they were going to be at a hotel a short distance away, Sam had decided there was no need for a rental car this time. With the skills that only a seasoned veteran of NYC could possess, Sam quickly flagged down a taxi. Danny tossed their luggage in the trunk, before settling into the backseat. He let Sam take the front seat so she could give directions to the cabbie.
Danny watched as the airport disappeared behind them, the Chicago skyline achingly familiar. Amity was a small town, but he and his family often made the trip into the city for "fun things" that weren't available in town. His dad used to take him to the Museum of Science and Industry every summer. They had family photos of the four of them in front of Wrigley Field that used to hang on the fridge.
"Here we are." The cabbie declared, pulling in front of their hotel. It was really nice, as impressively tall and shiny as everything else in the city.
"Thank you." Sam said, handing him a big tip. The cabbie lit up at that, clearly not expecting to have such a nice tip from a twenty-something year old.
"No problem, enjoy your stay!" He said with a wide smile. Sam climbed out of the car and Danny followed. Apparently inspired by the tip, the cabbie got out too and grabbed their luggage for them. "My pleasure, sir." He said to Danny.
Luggage out, they entered the lobby. Serene music played from somewhere overhead and the whole building smelled fresh and bright. Danny let Sam handle checking in, giving him the opportunity to glance around. It was already nighttime and people were milling around, obviously on their way to dinner. Most were dressed in expensive clothing, jewels glittering under the glow of the impressive chandelier.
"Here's your card." Sam said, slipping him his room key. He accepted it wordlessly, following her to the elevator. Well, this building was clearly new. If the modern and shiny look didn't give it away, the lack of spirits sure did. No one had died in this 5-star hotel, not yet at least. Sam hit the eleventh floor button and the elevator began to rise. Danny pressed into the corner uneasily when someone from the third floor joined.
"Brrr." The stranger said, obviously fresh from the indoor pool. "The AC is really strong in here." She said politely to Danny. He nodded awkwardly, leaning further away and stifling an 'I'm sorry about that.'
The elevator reached their floor and Sam exited, Danny right behind her. Hopefully the rest of the elevator ride would be warmer for the woman. Sam walked with a purpose down the long hall, navigating it like she had been here a million times before. She stopped at their room, whipping out her card and opening the door.
"Very fancy." Danny said, wondering how often he was going to be uttering that phrase this weekend. It was a whole suite, with a kitchen and everything. The whole place smelled like eucalyptus. He trailed in, depositing his duffle bag on the kitchen counter. They even had a balcony with a great view of the city.
"I do love a great hotel bed." Sam called from the bedroom. Danny joined her, watching as she plopped into the lush white comforter. She nearly disappeared into the mountain of pillows on the bed. "They're always so soft." Danny wouldn't really know, he had only ever stayed in cheap motels. His family was never poor, but since most of their money came from research grants, they weren't exactly staying at the Four Seasons when they went on vacation.
He sat next to her, looking around and taking the room in. They had a massive plasma screen TV mounted on the wall, perfectly aligned for watching movies in bed. Sam gave him a funny look, turning on her side.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" She asked, putting a hand on his arm.
"Not really." He admitted. "But I'll be there anyway."
"It won't be that bad." Sam promised. "I'll do all the talking, and there will be so many people there anyway that you'll just blend right in. Honestly, it will probably be more boring than anything. Lots of self-important speeches and the like." Danny's stomach rumbled, not satisfied with just the plane food. He needed a whole pizza or something.
"At least there will be food." He said, trying to look on the bright side.
"Is food all you think about?" Sam joked. He leaned on his side, giving her a crooked smile.
"Not all the time. Just when I'm hungry."
"You're always hungry." She deadpanned. "Well, go on. Check out the room service, get what you want. I'm gonna take a shower."
She slipped away and Danny took her up on the offer, reaching for the menu. His eyes glazed over as he read a lot of french dishes. Finally, at the end there was some plain old pizza and wings. That would do. He rang up the front desk, placing his order as well as a fruit tray for Sam. She wasn't hungry like him, but she could probably go for a bite of something before bed.
He laid down, flicking the TV on as he waited for the food to arrive, or for Sam to emerge from the bathroom. Whichever came first. He felt antsy, full of pent-up nervous energy. Maybe he would need to take a late night flight tonight, just to get it all out. He felt a little annoyed at himself for being so anxious, because what was there to worry about? What could possibly go wrong at some stupid gala?
'Famous last words.' He thought bitterly, landing on some rerun of Wheel of Fortune. That would do for now.