Rebecca heard the heels of her shoes tap rhythmically against the floorboards, as she strode assertively to the nurse's station at the end of the long corridor. The tall, blond-haired nurse, who had escorted Brian from the room, looked up with a soft smile.
"Can I help you?" She tilted her head, and saw the distress on the older woman's face.
"Yes, I, Dr William Burke, I know he works here. I was wondering how I might go about contacting him?" Rebecca kept her voice low, sure that neither of the physicians who had remained in Michaela's room would approve of her slightly deceptive behavior.
"Oh actually, I saw him earlier in the post-operative ward," Eva paused when she saw the small boy run up to his aunt's side.
"Aunt Rebecca, is Ma all right? Did the doctors make her better?" He nestled back against her waist, oblivious to the interruption he'd caused.
"I was just about to go on my meal break. If you'd like, I'd be happy to mention to him that you'd asked for him? If he's time, he may be able to stop by?" Eva glanced down at a chart in her hand.
"Please, if you might. He and, my sister are friends. I was hoping he might be able to provide some help," Rebecca rubbed her left arm along Brian's back, having sensed the child's panic.
"Not a problem, I shouldn't be too long," Eva nodded, her voice sincere, as she returned to the paperwork before her.
"Let's sit for awhile, Brian," Rebecca guided the boy back to the long bench. Brian settled himself quickly, and began to idly swing his legs back and forth.
"Brian, your mother didn't tell me she was planning to visit. When did you arrive?" Rebecca kept her tone gentle and hushed.
"This mornin'. Don't think she wanted anyone to know, coz she said we weren't visitin' Grandma or nothin'. Aunt Rebecca, what's gonna happen?" Brian brought his large eyes back up to meet her gaze.
"I'm not sure, sweetheart. I'm going to make sure Michaela's all right though, I promise. Brian?" Rebecca stumbled awkwardly, not sure how to phrase the question that had been burning at her for the last ten minutes or so. "Brian, I, didn't know your mother was expecting a child. She didn't tell me of her marriage and I would have thought," Rebecca stopped, as the child shook his head deliberately.
"But she ain't married, Aunt Rebecca. Don't think she's gonna be gettin' married anymore," Brian hung his head, his entire world being turned upside-down by the events of the last few months.
"Why do you say that? I thought she and Sully were courting?" Rebecca failed to hide the suspicious frown that appeared on her face.
Brian shook his head quickly, "She's mad at him. Well, everyone really. Been yellin' at Sully and Colleen, even me, but then she'll just start cryin', like today. I'm worried that she's real sick, coz she ain't been actin' like she used to before," Brian felt his chest rise, as he drew a heavy breath, the weight of the world pressing down on his small shoulders.
"How do you mean? Since before what?" Rebecca pursed her lips and leaned closer towards the child.
"Since, since she went away. When she got hurt," Brian blinked several times, not realizing his disclosure was news to his aunt.
"I don't understand. What do you mean, hurt?" Rebecca felt the shattering reality hit her, the instant she repeated the word out loud. No. What was the child saying?
"My birthday. Ma got kidnapped. She was gone for days and days. Everyone was real upset and had to get Doctor Cassidy, thought Ma was gonna die," Brian tried to stop the tears that had built up in his eyes from falling, as his voice trailed off into a choked sob. As he gave into wracks of tears, he leant back against his aunt's side, and felt her hand grip his shoulder soothingly.
"Ssh, Brian. You're here now and your mother, your mother's," Somehow Rebecca couldn't bring herself to utter the word "fine", because that in itself, would be an untruth.
"Ever, ever since, Ma's been angry, or sad, and she and Colleen been fightin' and then she was comin' here and I caught her leavin', so she took me too," he sniffled several times, in an attempt to stop his tears.
"Brian, I need you to think very carefully. Why did Michaela come here?" Rebecca slowly began to piece together the evidence from both her recent conversation with the child, along with the doctor's previous accusations.
"I, I don't know." He shook his head gently several times, as he tried to think of an explanation, "To see a doctor about the baby. We saw him just after lunch today. That's when Ma got really sick," Brian brought his right hand to slowly wipe the tears from his cheeks.
"Brian, one more thing. Do you know how long," Rebecca rephrased quickly, "Do you know when the baby is going to be born?" She tried to confirm her darkest fears, not sure whether the child would be able to accurately answer her question.
"Don't know. Asked Ma about it on the train, and she got real mad, and said she weren't gonna talk about it but, I dunno if it's gonna be that long, coz I could hear the baby in her stomach and, couple a weeks ago, I was bad, I didn't mean to or nothin' but I saw her changin' and she's real fat but it don't show when she has got her skirt all around, like real baggy kinda," Brian watched the look of worry creep onto his aunt's face, immediately concerned he'd said something he shouldn't have.
"One last thing, I promise. When's your birthday, Brian?" Rebecca forced the words from her mouth, as she felt her lips dry at the mere consideration.
"May twelfth, day they got Ma back." He turned his gaze down to the floor, preoccupied by the sight of his legs moving slowly in front of him.
"That's four months, sweetheart, I," Rebecca looked up at the sound of the masculine voice that emanated from several feet away.
"Brian?" William clasped his hands behind his back and remained still. He had barely believed the nurse's words minutes earlier.
"Dr Burke?" The child looked up, bewildered by the ever-growing sea of remotely familiar faces.
"Oh, thank-you for coming, Dr Burke. I need your help," Rebecca carefully slipped her right arm from Brian's back and rose to her feet.
"I received your message. I, is something the matter? Brian? I'm not sure I understand," The male physician shook his head slightly, as he tried to discern why Rebecca would be here alone with the young boy.
"Yes, I," Rebecca noticed the small child gaze between them, his intrigue apparent. "Sweetheart, please, just sit here for a few minutes, whilst I talk with Dr Burke," Rebecca and the physician moved several yards along the corridor.
"Mrs. Dickinson, I fail to," William smiled a small indication of polite confusion, before Rebecca cut him off rather abruptly.
"It's Michaela. I don't know what's going on, the doctors won't tell me specifics." Rebecca paused momentarily to collect her breath.
"I don't understand, Michaela's here?" William clarified in disbelief.
"I only found out a short time ago, myself," Rebecca answered.
"Forgive, I still don't understand. Why is Brian here?" William glanced around the hospital corridor.
Rebecca nodded quickly, understanding his confusion.
"I received a telegram that Michaela was brought here. They said she has taken medicine, that she shouldn't have. It's ludicrous; they said that she was trying to harm herself and that I was contacted to take care of Brian, because they're not going to release her until," The oldest Quinn daughter dropped her gaze down to the floor, as she forced herself to continue through the facts which still shocked her.
"Dr Burke, apparently Michaela's pregnant, and that because of what they say she did, they're not releasing her until after the baby is born. However, from what I can gather, that will be months." Rebecca glanced back at the young child, who appeared to be studying the tops of his shoes in fascination.
"Wait, I, just a moment," William drew a pained breath, as he forced every professional fiber within his body to detach from the personal emotions he felt rising to the surface of his awareness. "They are going to detain her? Did you explain that she may have been accurately self-medicating herself?" He stumbled to interpret the information which had been presented to him.
"I told them she is a doctor. That just seemed to make matters worse. That that meant she knew exactly what she was doing. There's something wrong. I don't know how to deal with the doctors. I'm sorry if I overstepped the boundaries of," Rebecca stopped, as William raised his hand to interject.
"No, it's quite all right, I would like to help. There are a few things I don't understand however," William cleared his throat as his eyes narrowed to comprehend the severity of the situation. "Michaela would know that the administration of certain medications during pregnancy is dangerous. Did they not ask her why she was self-medicating?" William's face melted into an absorbed frown of concentration.
"No, well, she was awake, but she won't talk, Dr Burke. I, dear God I hope I'm wrong, but Brian said Michaela and Sully aren't married." Rebecca's jaw dropped after finished her sentence.
"But you said she." He leaned slightly closer towards the brown-haired woman, as she continued, her voice nothing more than a hurried whisper.
"And if that is the case, there are no assurances as to how she came to be in this condition. I spoke with Brian briefly, I'm not sure how much he understands. He mentioned back in May, I, I dread to think but if she and Sully aren't married, then; I know my sister, she would never let something like this happen. For her to be in this predicament, something must have, I, I'm sorry, I just, I can't believe this is happening, I," Rebecca felt her breath catch in her throat, however managed to force the remaining sentence out. "All I know is, that woman in there, is not my sister, and whatever the doctors say she's done, we have to get to the bottom of it all. I apologize if I dragged you into the middle of this situation I, just didn't know where else to turn." Rebecca stopped suddenly after her long explanation, as William looked back towards the closed door.
His voice was professionally controlled and void of emotion. "Would you mind if I asked to see her? I know Dr Hodge personally. I'm sure if I mention that I," William dismissed the questionable status of his relationship with Michaela quickly, "I doubt he would have any objection to me providing another opinion." He glanced back across at the empty expression on the young boy's face.
"Please, I trust you. Michaela trusts you; do what you think is best." She nodded firmly.
"Right. Well, if you remain with Brian, I should only be a few minutes. I promise, once I know anything more, I will talk with you," William trailed off with a soft smile to reassure her.
Rebecca waited until he'd crossed the hallway and entered Michaela's hospital room, before she once again took a seat by Brian's side.
"Aunt Rebecca," he received a nod of encouragement and continued, "we gonna get to go home? Or does Ma have to stay in the hospital like the doctors said?" The small child began to fidget with a round brown button on his jacket.
"I don't know yet, honey. Dr Burke's going to talk with the other doctors. Brian, can you tell me what happened earlier? Did you see your mother take any medicine?" Rebecca frowned, not knowing whether subtle probing was even worth the worry she saw creep into the young boy's eyes.
"No. After we got back from the doctor's, Ma just started cryin' and I got scared she was gonna yell at me more. Then she fell asleep. So I just waited, and it started to get dark out. Then Ma woke up and that's when she got sick. I asked her if the baby was making her sick and she really screamed at me, and I accidentally broke the glass. I started cryin' and I got scared, and she said it was all my fault and," Brian pressed his head securely against his aunt's left side as he continued, "And I said I hated her, went outside. Then when I came back in, she was asleep, but she asked for you," Brian felt his aunt's fingers begin to delicately stroke the top of his fine hair.
"Me?" Rebecca prompted quietly, as she felt the child's sobs radiate against her ribs.
"Yes. She said for you not to tell Grandma. That she was sorry and that's, that's when she wouldn't wake up." He allowed himself to be soothed by the sensation of her fingers against his scalp.
"Well, she's in the best place now, sweetheart. You don't have to worry any longer," Rebecca knew she wanted to ask more, however was torn between the trauma which lurked behind the child's eyes, and the hesitation she had to giving any more thought to what was already a heinous consideration.
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X.O.X
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Olive grasped the edge of her skirt, as she ascended the stairs to the church. She'd felt uneasy all day, since her conversation with Dorothy that morning. As she entered the back of the church, Olive felt the doubts resurface; perhaps talking with the Reverend wasn't the best thing to do; perhaps she was best keeping this to herself. She sighed and closed the door behind her. No. She needed to talk with someone. She needed to resolve the conflict welling up within her.
"Olive? My, I certainly didn't expect to see you here at this hour. Please," Timothy looked up from the sermon he had been working on, and gestured to the benches in front of him.
"Didn't mean to go interruptin', Reverend, if you're busy." She hesitantly turned back towards the door.
"No, don't be ridiculous. Did you come to see me, then, or if you just wanted to be alone, to pray, maybe?" He speculated, as he closed the bible on the lectern before him.
"No, I did come to speak with you. It needs to be in confidence, however," Olive swallowed, and walked past several rows of benches before she gingerly took a seat.
"Of course, Olive. You know you can talk to me. As a member of the clergy, anything that is said between us will go no further," Timothy arrived by her side and sat down to Olive's right.
"I've been feeling confused, that is, well, I thought I felt a certain way, however, you might say I'm having a crisis of conscience. Reverend, when the Bible says one thing, however you feel strongly another way, how does one know what is right?" Olive frowned, never having usually been so open about her feelings.
"Well," Timothy cleared his throat nervously, "life is never as black and white as it seems. I've often found that, talking through such a dilemma, will allow me to realize that my feelings and holy scripture are saying the same thing, just in another way. Do you think it's possible that this might explain your feelings?" He looked closely at the troubled expression on the widow's face.
"Ah, no. The bible states very clearly, that which I feel," Olive realized she wouldn't be able to find solace without further explaining her confusion. "Reverend, the bible says thou shall not kill and the law says that a woman does not have the right to kill her unborn child but what if, are there never exceptions to this?" Olive lowered her gaze, aware that she was breaking confidence.
"I can't at this moment think of any, Olive. That is rather a strange dilemma, are you sure there's not something you," the Reverend couldn't help but show his obvious concern at the particular content of Olive's question.
"It's not me, Reverend," she assured quickly. "But what if, through no fault of her own, a woman was faced with an unwanted pregnancy. Is it fair that she be forced to carry that child? To give it life?" Olive knew it would only be a matter of time before the Reverend realized to whom she was referring.
"The bible is very clear, Olive; Thou shalt not kill and common law reflects this. This does sound rather pressing. It's not the type of question I would expect had you not a specific individual in mind," Timothy ran his palm against the edge of the leather bible, and looked back up at the brunette, hopeful of a response.
"Yes, Reverend, I'm afraid there is. Reverend, perhaps you can explain it for me. Why would.. God, allow a child to be created out of violence? Why would he expect a woman to have to go through something so cruel?" Olive clasped her hands loosely in her lap, her face twisted in misunderstanding.
Timothy took several moments to piece together Olive's question, but required further clarification, "Do you mean," his voice dropped, "if a woman is violated and a child is conceived as a result of that act?" The Reverend's voice was strained; he knew in that instant who Olive was referring to.
"I think you know who I'm talkin' about, don't you Reverend?" Olive paused as Timothy lowered his head. "Now tell me it's fair. Explain to me why God would do such a thing." Olive took a sharp breath, as she awaited his reply.
"I can't. I'm sorry, Olive. Who else knows about this?" Timothy's voice was hushed through shock.
"Not many people; Dorothy, Myra, Ingrid. Myself. Sully only found out yesterday. The children have known for awhile," Olive interlocked her fingers, and waited for a response.
"Oh Lord," Timothy trailed off, his head shaking several times in bewilderment. "I wish I had known." He looked up as Olive interrupted, her voice more weighted.
"Why? Couldn't a done nothin'. I've thought the same thing. If I'd a known, I coulda said something. Coulda stopped her leavin' like this. I realize now it all woulda been for nothin'. Ain't nothin' anyone coulda said that coulda made this situation any better. Just been feelin' guilty 'bout, well, I don't got no problem with what Dr Mike's doin' but still somethin' inside a me sayin' it's not right. That's why I wanted to talk with you, Reverend. I wanted to make peace with my conscience I suppose," Olive drew a ragged breath, as Timothy only just realized what she meant.
"Olive, I understand your moral confliction. I feel it too." He ran his finger along the edge of the leather-bound bible. "However, two wrongs don't make a right and, as unfair as that may seem to us, because we care about Dr Mike, it doesn't make the killing of an unborn child any the more fair. I take it Sully and the children have gone to stop her?" Timothy felt his head reel with images of the past four months. It all made sense now.
"Yes. But not for the reasons I feel. Because it's dangerous for her. Reverend, I don't know what to hope for. I can't see the best solution to this. If Sully and the children find her, how will she be able to stay here? How will the town deal with this? And then, if they don't find her and she ends this pregnancy, how will she live with herself? I don't see how this can resolve in anyone's favor." Olive shifted her eyes around the empty church, seeing it filled with townsfolk as it was on a typical Sunday.
"The only thing we can do is pray, Olive. Pray that the Lord will guide everyone to make the choices he deems right. I know that between us, we will make this work. There are enough people in this town on Dr Mike's side, that, no matter what, I know she can get through this." Timothy felt his right hand grip more firmly around the bible he was carrying. After several moments of silence, Olive turned her gaze back to him.
"You're right. It just seems such a shame. So unnecessary. And what about the child? What kind of life would any child have being brought into the world through such tragedy?" She felt mild repulsion threaten to consume her.
"If it is God's will, Olive, then there is always a higher purpose in mind. It is not our place to question that." Timothy felt the woman's sharp intake of breath in response to his seemingly unfeeling words.
"I'm sorry, Reverend, I'm not ready to believe that. What kind of a loving God would do this to any woman? There is not a sin great enough to render Michaela deserving of such punishment." She stood and looked towards the back of the church hopelessly.
"I didn't say such acceptance would be easy. We need to have faith. It will take time, Olive," Timothy attempted to console the widow, his words slightly rushed and forced, as she shook her head dismissively and paced back along the aisle.
"Goodnight, Reverend. Thank-you," she sufficed weakly and made her way silently from the church.
Timothy turned back towards the front of the church, and rested the bible gently on the bench beside him. As he raised his eyes upwards, he moved forwards onto his knees and clasped his hands against the bench in front of him. His eyes closed in desperate prayer.