Chapter 71
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X.O.X
Monday, 30th August, 1869
Three Days Later – 19 Weeks Gestation
X.O.X
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"Well children, now if you could all go home tonight, and each come up with an activity that might be fun for the sports day. And don't forget to tell your families, because we want to have different activities for all different age groups." the Reverend leaned back against the wooden desk at the front of the school room. "Class dismissed," he concluded, the room full of children rising to their feet and scattering towards the back door.
"Um, Becky?" Lewis approached the young girl once they were both outside.
"Oh, what is it, Lewis?" she turned quickly, her long braids swinging over her shoulders.
The two teenagers begin a slow walk from the schoolhouse towards the bridge, Lewis keeping several paces behind her.
"Wanted to talk to ya. Just wondered if ya knew when, when Colleen and them be comin' back?" He stumbled awkwardly, adjusting his glasses as he walked.
Becky kept her books clasped tightly in her right hand, as she reached the edge of the bridge, and stopped walking.
"I don't know, Lewis. Didn't know she was leavin' any more than you did. Told ya last week," The young girl shrugged, looking downwards.
"Oh," he muttered softly, the dismay in his voice apparent. "I'm sorry, Becky. Guess you must be feelin' kinda upset she didn't tell ya she was goin' away." He chewed on his lower lip, as they both leant against the wooden railing.
"It ain't that," Becky shrugged, "Just, she's been real angry and, ever since Dr Mike got hurt, Colleen ain't been the same neither. Just worried about her."
"I know what ya mean," Lewis blushed slightly and looked away. "When we were rehearsin' for the play, Dr Mike caught us kissin' and,"
"Kissin'?!" Becky squealed reaching for Lewis' arm.
He lowered his head with a small smile, "yeah, 'cept Dr Mike was real mad about it."
"That'd make sense. Colleen's been angry at her, too, she wouldn't tell me why," Becky narrowed her eyes as Lewis took a step closer, first looking around to see if anyone was nearby.
"Now, don't say nothin' but, last week Uncle Horace got a telegram from Boston. Aunt Myra said it was somethin' about Dr Mike. Told me that's why Sully, Matthew and Colleen all left too, but she wouldn't say what," Lewis watched Becky's eyes widen as he spoke.
"What? Like somethin's wrong?" Becky frowned, adjusting the book in her hands.
"Maybe. She say anythin' to you, Becky?"
"Uh-uh. Well, not really. Been real stressed out though." The girl paused for a moment, "Well, she did say somethin' about if someone were doin' something bad, but she ain't really talked to me."
"Oh, well, hope they all come back soon." He looked back up, swinging his books over his right shoulder.
Becky giggled lightly, as they crossed the bridge, "You're sweet on her, ain't ya?"
"She's told you?" Lewis gulped, his voice jumping in pitch.
"'Course. She thinks it's great coz you're into the stuff she is," Becky continued as they crossed the meadow.
"She, she does?" His eyebrows raised.
"Sure," Becky smiled, as Lewis made his way towards the porch of the telegraph office.
"Aww, um, well, thanks." He wiped his sweaty hand against his vest, as Becky paced away down the main street.
"Maybe you needa suggest a sweetheart's three-legged race to the Reverend," Becky teased, her face quickly sinking, "if she's back in time."
"Yeah," Lewis' smile dropped immediately.
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" Sully," Michaela kept her head pressed firmly against the back of the stagecoach bench, her jaw clenched tightly in effort to endure the radiating throbbing stemming from the small of her back.
"Ya wanna stop?" He slid across the long seat towards her, reaching for her right hand.
"I, I can't stand this anymore," she whispered, her voice choking.
"It's all right, only the five a us on board, we'll have 'em stop for a while," he squeezed her fingers softly, quickly standing and climbing up to speak with the stagecoach driver.
Colleen and Matthew exchanged worried glances, the young girl moving over beside her mother swiftly.
"I'm sorry," Michaela moved her head slightly, her voice still low.
"Don't gotta apologize, Dr Mike. Just wish it didn't have to be this awful for ya. Is there anything I can do?" Colleen reached her hand to her mother's shoulder.
Michaela merely shook her head in response and brought her left hand around to her back for support.
"At least it's only a few more hours," Colleen consoled, as Brian looked up from the wooden train he was playing with in his hands.
"I liked the train better, more room and weren't as bumpy," he smiled softly.
"You are certainly right about that, sweetheart." Michaela dropped her eyes wearily to the little boy, as she felt the speed of the coach decrease.
"There. We're stoppin'." Matthew nodded, all looking, as Sully reappeared through the window.
"Driver said we can stop for as long as ya want." He settled back on the other side of Colleen.
Michaela blinked and nodded. "I just need five minutes or so, then I'll be fine." She smiled weakly, as the stagecoach came to a halt and Matthew opened the door, jumping down onto the dusty road below.
"Just take ya time." Sully leant over Colleen to squeeze Michaela's shoulder tenderly as she stood and arrived at the door, reaching forwards to Matthew as he lifted her down.
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Horace flipped the 'out to lunch' sign over on the door of the telegraph office with a small smile of satisfaction after a busy morning.
"Myra, honey?" He called, turned around and headed towards the doorway which led to the back rooms.
"Comin'," she arrived in the hallway with an enquiring smile.
"Honey, thought it might be nice, if we went over to Grace's for lunch? You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He stepped forwards to rest his arms around her back.
"Oh, Horace, we don't need to do that, really." She pressed her head softly against her husband's chest, touched by his consideration.
"Well, we don't gotta but just, thought save ya cookin' and you been real tired today," he brought his left hand to the side of her face.
"Aww, that would be nice. Was just about to start some soup but, can do that tomorrow," she looked up, as Horace bent over to kiss her forehead sweetly.
"Sure you can, darling. Just want you to take it easy." He rested his hand gently against her stomach, Myra tilting her head back to return the kiss sincerely.
"You're gonna be a wonderful Pa, Horace. I just know it," Myra felt his hand glide over her tousled, brown hair.
"And you're gonna be a beautiful Ma. This is one lucky baby," Horace frowned when he saw the worried look cross his wife's face. "What?"
"Oh, Horace, I know ya can't tell me but, well, that telegram ya got last week 'bout Dr Mike. I'm just real worried 'bout her," Myra sighed, clasping her right hand over Horace's as he gently stroked her stomach.
"Myra, I ain't heard anythin' since last week that I can tell you. I don't understand why you're so worried, though. Over there, hospitals ain't no big deal, not like out here," Horace looked down as Myra nestled her head back against his chest.
"I know, just, what if she don't come home?" Myra whispered.
"Don't be silly, told me herself; only gonna be a few weeks. 'Sides, now that Sully and the children gone after her," Horace moved his hand to her shoulder, trying to calm her.
"But she won't wanna come home, not until after," she stopped abruptly.
"After?" Horace saw the confliction sweep over Myra's face.
"Horace, I, just please, can ya tell me if ya hear anythin' more 'bout Dr Mike?" she asked quickly, as they paced across the office and out onto the porch.
"Well, I, I ain't heard nothin', honey but why you so worried?" They stepped off the porch and walked slowly down the main street.
"Nothin', sweetheart. Just, well, I'm lucky I got you, that's all. Lucky about how life turned out." Myra interlocked her left arm around her husband's, as they made their way to Grace's café.
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"Thanks for doin' this, it's been a long trip already," Sully stroked the draught horse's mane, as he made idle conversation with the driver.
"No problem. Where you come from?" the middle-aged, bearded man replied, wiping the sweat from his brow.
"Left Boston last Thursday," Sully muttered, turning to check on Michaela and the children.
"Sure feel sorry for ya wife, though. I remember when my missus had our first, she could barely sleep for weeks and it seemed to last forever. Worth it though, ya know?" he spoke gruffly, yet with genuine sympathy.
"I know," Sully replied, reflecting on the pregnancy he had experienced with Abigail. "Think we all just need to get home."
Both men alternated their gazes between the people distributed many yards away from them and the horses nearby.
"Well, like I told ya, just over an hour or so into Colorado Springs from here." He adjusted the harness on the horse in front of him.
"Thanks. I'll go see if she's ready," Sully patted his back gratefully and paced slowly over to Colleen and Michaela.
Brian skulked around a large fallen tree log, kicking stones idly as he walked. Matthew, his hands dug deeply into his pockets, did likewise, each brother looking up at the other as they passed by.
"How much longer?" Brian looked up after the third rotation.
"Up to Dr Mike, Brian. Ssh," Matthew lowered his voice, as Brian stopped moving and leant against the log.
"Sorry," The little boy mumbled quietly, lifting his gaze to look over at his mother and sister who were standing under a large oak tree and Sully by the stage, talking with the driver.
"Dr Mike?" the young girl leant back against the tree, clasping her hands around her waist as she took in the warm, late afternoon sun.
"Hmm?" Michaela turned, her left arm against her back habitually, as she stopped pacing.
"I, was wondering, does," Colleen stumbled awkwardly, "what does, I mean, how does," she looked from her mother's face, down to her stomach and back up to her face. "What's it feel like?"
Colleen sucked the edge of her lip into her mouth, feeling very nervous in her question. She saw Michaela's brow wrinkle for a moment, as she considered the girl's question. "Sorry, Dr Mike, I was just wondering."
"It's all right, Colleen," Michaela smiled softly for a moment. "Perhaps you'd best talk with Myra once we arrive home. I'm sure she'd be able to give you the answers you're looking for," Michaela dropped both her hands coldly to her side.
"But, I don't wanna ask her," Colleen's voice was plain and uninflected. "I wanted to ask," she was interrupted harshly.
"Colleen, I can't give you the pleasant response you're hoping for; my back aches horrendously, my ankles are almost twice their normal size, and that's just the last two days," Michaela looked up in exasperation to see the sincere look on her daughter's face.
Tentatively, Colleen took a step closer, folding her arms across her chest.
"Everything changes, Colleen. Most of it, I knew, I could expect. Even then, it's still not the same." Michaela sighed with a miserable shake of her head.
"How?" the young girl coaxed, bringing her right hand to her chin, and subconsciously chewing on a fingernail.
Michaela adjusted her weight slightly, stretching her back, as she looked from Colleen's honest and intrigued expression, down to her protruding abdomen.
"Everything," her voice was flat and ragged, "I don't even feel as though my body belongs to me anymore, and I can't control it. Mostly I feel uncomfortable and awkward," she let out a long held-in breath, "and I know it's only going to get worse."
"But loads a women have babies," Colleen shook her head, never have considered her mother the melodramatic type.
"Most women choose to have them, Colleen," Michaela answered succinctly.
"But, it's still a baby; like Myra's, or Mrs. Harrison's you delivered couple a months back." She slipped her finger from her mouth, seeing the discomfort-fueled tension fill her mother's face.
"It's not the same, Colleen, and I'm sorry you can't understand that." She wiped her hands over her eyes wearily as she reconsidered, "Maybe it is for the best; that is exactly why I didn't wish to discuss it with you." Michaela turned to the girl, reaching for her hands.
"Sweetheart, I don't want you to be disheartened." She squeezed Colleen's hands tighter. "You'll fall in love, marry, and have your own children one day, Colleen, and I don't want you to think this is how it has to be for you. I want you to love the children you'll carry."
Colleen stared down at their interlocked hands. "Don't you?"
Michaela broke the eye contact as Sully arrived behind her, slipping her hands from her daughter's.
"Sorry. Ya feelin' any better?" He looked quickly between them, realizing he'd interrupted a significant moment.
"Yes," Michaela replied automatically, still entranced by Colleen's question.
Slipping a hand delicately to Michaela's lower back, Sully gestured back towards the stagecoach. "Driver reckons just over an hour to go."
"Fine," she muttered, making her way back to the stage, Sully still resting his arm on her lower back.
Colleen watched them walk away, surprised that her mother had not objected to Sully's physical contact.
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"Just take a seat anywhere," Grace barely looked up from the food on the stove, as Horace and Myra walked past her.
They arrived at a nearby table, Horace politely pulling out the chair, as Myra took her seat, Grace arriving next to her.
"Isn't he just so thoughtful," Myra chuckled, as Horace made himself comfortable across from her.
"Now, honey, just wanna take care a ya," Horace disregarded, although blushing slightly.
Myra turned at the sound of Grace's forced voice. "I got some chilli and beans, or there's a few slices a beef and gravy. And for dessert; apple pie or banana bread. What ya havin'?" Myra shrugged, still deciding, as she glanced over at Horace.
"Well, I'll have the chilli and beans and the apple pie, thank-you, Grace. Myra?" Horace tucked the napkin eagerly into the top of his shirt, flattening it over his chest.
"I, um, Grace?" Myra pursed her lips nervously, beckoning Grace to lean towards her.
Grace frowned, but nevertheless obliged.
"Do ya reckon, I could have the beef, on the banana bread?" Myra shrunk into the chair, embarrassed.
"Oh, Lordy," Grace rolled her eyes, with a resigned nod. "Did you want the gravy as well?"
"Uh-huh," Myra smiled keenly, Horace just having worked out what she'd ordered.
"Myra, honey, you sure that's good for the baby?" He looked mortified.
"I'll, ah, get your lunch's," Grace saw the beginnings of a disagreement and quickly made her presence scarce.
"Horace, I'm sorry. It's just what I felt like," Myra reached for the checkered napkin and settled it across her lap. "'Sides, if you have dessert after, still all ends up together in your stomach, so what difference does it make?"
"I, I guess so," Horace nodded, although quite noticeably disturbed by his wife's pregnancy-induced cravings.
Grace carefully placed the freshly sliced pieces of bread on the edge of the plates, turning her attention back to the bubbling pot in front of her.
"Good day, Grace," Dorothy had managed to sidle up to the younger woman.
"Oh, oh, Dorothy," Grace gasped, turning, and settling her breathing.
"Sorry," Dorothy frowned, "didn't mean to startle you." She was about to ask politely for some lunch, when she noticed Grace's discontented glare.
"My fault, had a lot on my mind," Grace stirred the chilli and beans as they boiled, carefully spooning them onto Horace's plate.
"Like what?" Dorothy questioned deeper, her eyes narrowing in unshielded intrigue.
Grace tried to dismiss the concern with a shake of her head, however Dorothy leant forwards and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Now you ain't been your usual self for months now. Somethin' troublin' ya?" Dorothy paused for a moment, watching Grace's usually lively eyes darken. "Is it you and Robert E.?"
"Oh, no, nothin' like that," Grace smiled quickly, trying to return her attention to preparing the meals.
"Well, what then?" Dorothy reiterated.
Grace hesitated, looking around to make sure they were alone, as she slowly stirred the simmering gravy.
"I feel kinda silly talkin' 'bout it, after all, Robert E. and I only been married a year. But we always knew we wanted a family," Grace lifted the shallow pan from the heat, drizzling it carefully over Myra's plate.
"And, you didn't think it'd take so long?" Dorothy speculated, meeting Grace's eyes sharply in understanding.
Grace nodded very swiftly in the affirmative, as she finished preparing the two meals.
"Now you just gotta be patient, why, took me over a year 'fore I had my first," Dorothy trailed off as Grace moved away to set the plates down in front of Myra and Horace.
Adjusting the apron around her waist, Grace looked back up at Dorothy. Dorothy frowned at the hopelessness and coldness she saw in her friend's eyes. "Seems like some people got all the luck, barely married two months," Grace darted her large eyes over to the expectant couple, Dorothy sighing in sympathetic understanding.
"I know," she swallowed, suddenly realizing Grace wasn't the only one who's life hadn't gone to plan. "but then some people get nothin' but bad luck, just you remember, things could always be worse," Dorothy spoke, her voice rich with meaning and pity.
"You're right, suppose," Grace mumbled, having to turn away from Horace and Myra's sporadic giggles and smiles.
"Just be patient, Grace. Know that ain't any consolation to you, but," Dorothy saw the frustration renew in Grace's face.
"Even went and saw Dr Mike. Been keepin' a calendar like she said to." Grace shook her head in frustration, wanting to change the subject.
"Still, takes time for some folks." Dorothy completed the sentence awkwardly, wanting to be the one to break the shocking news to Grace. She wasn't sure what stopped her.
"I know and I got a wonderful husband; got a good life now," the younger woman tried to console herself.
"Wait, Grace; just wait. You won't feel so bad in a few weeks," Dorothy muttered knowingly.
Grace opened her mouth slightly, about to contest the statement, when she saw the grave look upon Dorothy's face. Something told her to simply trust the woman's words.
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Sully slid back in through the stagecoach window, noticing Matthew and Colleen's somber expressions. "Less than an hour to go," he informed them eagerly.
" Ssh," Colleen raised her finger to her lips, glaring back at him.
Sully nodded apologetically, tentatively settling beside Michaela, who had eventually managed to fall asleep, cushioned against the side of the coach.
He lowered his voice, "Good, she can get some rest 'fore we get in." Sully saw the miserable look on the two younger children's faces and the concerned one on Matthew's. "What?" he prompted, looking from Colleen to Brian.
Brian shrugged, turning to his older sister hesitantly. She shook her head and looked away.
"Brian?" Sully repeated, seeing the boy squirm slightly, before plucking up the courage to quietly answer.
"Well just, how long's Ma gonna," he dropped his voice, "be like this?" The little boy locked his index finger and thumb around each of the fingers of his other hand in turn.
"Hush up, Brian," Matthew demanded, feeling equally as cramped and exhausted as the rest of them.
"Brian, we talked about this, didn't we?" Sully began, seeing the little boy's gaze drop.
"Yeah," he shrugged, looking quickly across at his mother, his lower lip falling into a pout.
"So ya know we all just gotta be supportive," Sully noticed the confusion appear on the boy's face. "You're already uncomfortable now, aren't ya?"
The little boy nodded, exaggerating his squirming between his older siblings.
"And you ain't pullin' around a whole nother little person inside ya all the time," Sully raised an eyebrow, tilting his head to strengthen his comparison.
Brian frowned, moving his eyes back to his mother's peacefully sleeping expression. "Guess it'd be kinda heavy," he speculated thoughtfully.
"Yeah, it would. And that'd make ya more tired, don't ya think?" Sully met eyes briefly with Matthew, who seemed to appear more interested in the discussion.
"Uh-huh, plus you'd have to eat heaps more food, so the baby could grow too," Brian announced proudly. "Hey Sully?" Brian's face adopted a slightly terrified glare, "If the baby's in Ma's stomach, then wouldn't the food she eats fall all over it, make it real messy?" Brian's eyes were wide with concern.
"Don't be silly, Brian. Doesn't work like that; it's separate, remember? Dr Mike showed you. The baby grows underneath the stomach and the cord travels from the mother to the baby's belly button, that's how it eats," Colleen rolled her eyes, although slightly amused by her younger brother's anguish.
"Oh, yeah," he muttered. "I forgot."
Matthew moved restlessly, folding, then unfolding his arms. "So ah, we all just gonna go on with life, like everythin's the same," his voice was rich with cynicism, "Dr Mike's gonna go back to work and everyone's just gonna be totally fine with that?" Matthew didn't think deluding themselves into normality would prove successful for very long.
"Matthew, can we just get ourselves through one crisis at a time," Sully reacted strongly, the discomfort of the long journey having taken its toll on everyone's patience.
"What ya talkin' 'bout, still dealing with the first one," he retorted without hesitation.
The small space fell silent, Sully knew there were still traces of hatred and anger fueling the young man's words.
Colleen spoke up softly, trying to mediate through the masculine pride and defensiveness, "Maybe Matthew just meant, will things needa be different until the baby's born? Does Dr Mike wanna go back to work?" the girl rephrased quickly, " Can she go back?"
Sully relaxed his frown, turning his head slowly to glance in Michaela's direction. "I guess so, if she wants to."
"If she still has a clinic to go back to, ya mean?" Matthew muttered, resting his arm on the edge of the window.
"Don't talk like that," Sully pulled his right knee up towards his chest, locking his arms around it.
"Why? Tryin' to be realistic. There's stuff we gotta prepare for. Some people gonna be downright uncomfortable," Matthew shrugged.
Brian turned his head, trying to make sense of the adults' words.
"Look, I've already talked to ya ma about what she wants to do. If she wants to stay around the homestead until she feels ready, then that's fine." Sully looked to his right and delicately pulled the hem of her long, dark green dress down to cover her exposed ankles.
"Fine," Matthew sighed, too exhausted to be bothered with the discussion any longer.
"No, it ain't fine. What about everything else?" Colleen piped up from the seat beside him.
Sully narrowed his eyes, as Matthew turned around to face his sister.
She baulked at their misunderstanding, before quickly continuing, "I mean, what about all the chores and stuff; washin', cookin', takin' care a the animals. Been through all this before with Dr Mike but that was before the baby. We gotta stop her pushin' herself, coz she's gonna."
"Colleen's right." Matthew raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah," Sully paused, tapping his hand against his thigh as he thought.
"I guess the Reverend won't mind me taking a day off a school each week," Colleen spoke resignedly as she clasped her hands in her lap.
"No," Sully interjected immediately. "Don't gotta do that. I'll be around. Even if ya ma don't like it, I'll make sure I'm around to help Matthew with the animals. That way you only needa take care a the cookin' and washin'."
"Right, we all tended to do the washin' together anyway," Colleen reflected, breaking into a small smile.
"Sure did," Matthew chuckled, remembering some of the antics they would get up to in the warmer weather.
"Then we'll get it all worked out, and I'm sure Dorothy and Olive'll wanna help where they can." Sully tried to sound reassuring, however, was met with skeptical looks from the two older children.
"Yeah," Matthew trailed off, turning to glance out the window to his right.
" Yeah." Sully repeated, his tone firm and succinct.