I'm going to estimate this story to be about 20ish chapters long, so we are almost 3/4 of the way through. xp

Chapter 13

Izaya had spent the following morning on Shizu-chan's lap, allowing the blond to softly stroke his plush fur. It was obvious the older man needed help calming himself after the night before.

The tiny raven also had to admit he found Shizuo's gentle fingers slowly slipping through his fur therapeutic in a sense, and as much as he loathed to admit, the action also benefited his racing mind, his mind still on the image of his still pale body.

He couldn't help that his mind kept playing Shinra's words in his mind. As much as Izaya longed to be himself again, maybe he would be better off staying as he was rather then the possibility of eternal darkness, tied to a corpse in eternal damnation; if even after his body finally died and rotted away he was still bound to it.

Shizuo helped him relax the building tension in his body, at the same time the comfort Shizuo got from having his pet close by and the repetitive motion of his hand kept the blond from another breakdown, as the memory's of the night before very likely ran endlessly through his head as well.

Even as Shizuo shuffled around the kitchen at lunch, the little kitten was nestled comfortably on his shoulder leaning into the mans neck.

He started to wonder if this position, snuggled into the other mans neck would be just as comfortable in his real body, but quickly shook away the unwanted thought, that way of thinking was delving into dangerous territory.

No matter how bad the blond felt about smearing him across that intersection, he would not take kindly to the raven snuggling into his neck in any scenario except this one, where he was an innocent looking kitten.

The mere thought of cuddling with the blond was out of the question and would probably result in him being more dead then he was already considered at present.

Recently Izaya had been having more and more human thoughts, he liked to think he was above such things and ironically enough he was feeling more human now that he was technically a cat.

Relaxing like this with his Shizu-chan was a bit of a guilty pleasure, but he'd been damned if he didn't take the opportunity, while none were the wiser to indulge in this odd warmth. At this point he was taking being Shizuo's personal emotional support animal and Shizuo as his something or of an emotional support monster. His Shizu-chan would probably kill him all over again if he called him that to his face Izaya pondered in amusement as he imagined the blond enraged at him, the thought of a chance still thrilled him, sure he will admit he can feel pity for the monstrously strong man when he is all depressed, but the blonds rage and the rush he got from running for his life wasn't going to change any time soon that's for sure, even if it already proved to be a fatal pastime.

"Ya know Flea, I keep thinking that maybe he wasn't all the bad, I mean sure he was an asshole and an annoying little shit that always messed with people... Ya know Shinra mentioned he was probably like that cuz he was really lonely, I mean that sounds stupid, if he was such a lonely little shit he should have at least tried being a little nicer, not so much of a manipulative bastard..." The blond sighed looking down into kitten's eyes.

Izaya was less the pleased to hear Shinra had been confiding in the blond of all people about the workings of his mind, like it was either of their businesses why Izaya did what he did. He was intrigued none the less about what they had talked about.

"Shinra said it was probably a defense mechanism or whatever, that his heart was so fragile that if he let people in he wouldn't be able to handle betrayal... so he just decided to keep everyone at arm's length."

What the blond said wasn't wrong, Izaya had seen a lot in his line of business. Humans betrayed each other so easily, even people closest to them. Sometimes Izaya himself would give the little pushed they needed to turn on their loved one, friends, family, it didn't matter, everyone seemed to have a point they'd hurt others for their own benefit, no matter who they hurt.

Back in junior high Shinra had mentioned he'd hurt the one he loved if it meant keeping them by his side. This didn't coincide with his understanding of love at the time; if you loved someone didn't that mean wanting for their happiness over your own. If people could hurt the people they loved in the name of love for that very person, and then was their really any relationship that would ultimately end in pain. These thoughts had bothered the little raven for years, leading him to push people's buttons; in the end he could never understand the kind of love that was so fragile so easy to turn to betrayal and hate, he was to mush of a coward to ever want to place himself in the position of the one getting betrayed. From what he had observed, his love that encompassed all humans wasn't all that different from the love he had observed in his human he was just making sure he was never one the side that got hurt, but in the end one sided relationships didn't ease the loneliness he felt many nights as he thought about his life.

'Yeah Shizu-chan, I'm a lonely coward.' Izaya mewed sadly into the fabric of the older man's shirt.

Izaya wasn't sure why, even a cat can still be betrayed, but for some reason he seemed to be opening his heart to his beastly companion as of late. If he was close to the blond as his real self, his human self without his stupid pretenses. If he ever got back to his body, is it worth a try to keep this relationship that has been forming, or is it too late to fix the hatred between them.

'I don't think I ever really hated you Shizu-chan, I just hated that even though you also pushed people away you still managed to attract them to you, people that love and care for you no matter how many people you unintentionally hurt. I wish I was more like you Shizu-chan, I wish I wasn't so scared to get hurt emotionally, I wish I had people that cared enough to push back when I pushed people away out of my cowardice. I push others away as to not get hurt, but you push them away so they don't get hurt, you don't fit into my understanding of human, in a good way I guess... so maybe... neither of us would get hurt, if we... were close.' The Raven trailed off, his word meaningless in this situation, the blond couldn't understand him like this, so there was no way he could answer or react to his confession.

The day went on quietly; to two simply enjoying the others company never leaving each other's side, that night the little raven kitten slept his companion's chest, snoozing soundly in the comforting warmth and steady heart beat below him.

Xp Just fluffy contemplation this chapter, hope it was cute-ish.