Another one edited. Was busy last week and just got back form camping today. Figured I should get one up for this week. XD

Chapter 18

Izaya stood in front of Shizuo's door, shifting from foot to foot nervously.

He was feeling much better then when he first woke up, though he was still rather stiff and had some more healing to do, but most of the major damage was now minor and the smaller injuries inflicted healed while he was comatose. None the less if things took a violent turn he was nowhere near capable of defending himself, or even running more than a few feet, if that. Not that his self preservation skills were ever very good.

Of course the recent surgeries his body had gone though before he woke still hurt like a bitch, but he had to come, pain or not.

He really needed to speak with Shizuo and explain how he'd been living with him up till now. He wanted to discuss with the blonde what he had been feeling, though he would likely leave some of the deeper feelings out. He wanted to try to continue being close, he wanted to try being decent enough to be deserving of a real friendship.

He'd come to really enjoy the brutes company… maybe even more then he should, love? Is that what he should call it?... Love was still a weird word for him, It was a word he had thrown around a lot, but loving to watch people and loving their reactions wasn't the same as loving an individual.

On some level he was always aware his form of love was superficial but it also meant that no one could hurt him emotionally if he never got emotionally attached to anyone.

He at least wanted to be friends, obviously he didn't expect the blonde to return such odd feelings, especially not from someone like him, and he didn't want to scare him off with the word love.

Shizuo had despised Izaya the moment the raven had opened his mouth, immediately rejecting any sort of friendship the smaller male would offer. In all honesty he probably hated the raven long before he spoke, the moment he started clapping was more accurate.

Now after all Izaya had done over the years in retaliation to that rejection till now, it was unlikely the blonde would accept friendship at this point. Izaya would be the first to admit his bad personality had only gotten worse and Shizuo's dislike had evolved to pure hatred for his very existence.

Sure whipping out his existence was now off the table but he was sure the other would have no problem if Izaya simply faded from being as long as he was out of his life and Shizuo didn't kill him himself.

He wondered if he'd even believe him, he probably still had the kitten, did he notice the change in behavior?

Izaya sighed. I can't do this, besides Shinra was right, chances are as soon as Shizuo see's my face a fight will start and I'm really in no shape for that. I'm taking a huge risk trusting he won't try anything, that he will even wait long enough to notice I can't fight back.

The raven man shook his head frantically. No I can't chicken out now, if I do I'll never find the courage again and everything will just go back to the way it was, or he will finally have learn to ignore me completely. I don't want to lose everything I had for the past year.

He tentatively knocked on the door and waited with baited breath. As the moments dragged on and Izaya got no response he concluded it was one of those nights the blonde was working a bit late.

Izaya let out his held breath; he hadn't even realized he'd been holding it till now. Damn it Shizu-chan why did you have to work late today of all days.

Glancing behind himself, Izaya briefly entertained the idea of picking the lock and just waiting for Shizuo to return, maybe he would even pounce on him as usual.

He quickly disregarded that thought, it was ok as a cat but no matter how natural it felt to him at this point, doing so would only server to pissed the blonde off and ruin any chance Izaya would have for Shizuo to agree to converse in a civilized manner with him.

Perhaps I will run into him if I wonder around Ikebukuko for awhile, has never failed before. He chuckled to himself and set off in search of his Shizu-chan.

About an hour of walking around and no sigh of Shizu-chan. Izaya realized he was at the crossing of that fateful intersection, where he got a bit to closely aquanted with that dumpster, The memory causing a cold shiver to run though his whole body. He vaguely wondered if they replace that dumpster or just put it back after rinsing his blood off it.

Something in his gut told him he should check the nearby park Shizuo frequented for so many months after the ravens accident.

Walking to the more secluded parts it didn't take long for him to spot a mop of blonde hair at the edge of the tree line, crouched down focused on something on the ground. He though Shizuo was past his park mopping, apparently he had been wrong in that assumption.

He carefully approached the blonde from behind before cheerfully speaking to him, hoping to break his somber mood. It was an awkward attempt and he knew his fake cheer tended to have the opposite effect but his voice made his choice for him as soon as he spoke.

"What are you doing out here Shizu-chan, don't you have a cute little kitten awaiting you at home ready to pounce on your head?" Izaya inquired with his usual know it all grin, if not a bit more stiff as he couldn't quite figure out what to do with his face to placate the man crouched on the ground at his feet

Mentioning the kitten he should know nothing about and its antics at home that only Shizuo knew would hopefully help convince the other of his ludicrous claims of being said cat. Even if he was starting off cryptic it was only to stall out his nerves for the coming conversation.

The raven sauntered a bit closer, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he leaned over the blonds shoulder to see what he was doing.

"I'm not dead you know Shizu-chan~" Izaya said grinning down at the small stone with 'RIP Flea' etched onto it in black sharpie, that lay on the ground in front of the ex-bartender.

His grin growing only more amused at the sight. 'What a weird protozoan' He thought with a small grin.

He was aware the blonde often came to this park to mourn Izaya's supposed demise; though he doesn't know when he had placed the stone, but in recent months those visits had lessened.

So why he was here right now on his way home from work was a mystery.

Shizuo stiffen and Izaya tilted his head to the side. How strange his body is shaking slightly, is he crying, is he happy I'm alive, it's probably a lot to take in, I'm proud he isn't a murderer. Izaya thought to himself.

He could feel his heart speed up a bit, he felt really happy at that possibility, that for whatever reason Shizuo was happy to see him. "…Shizu-chan?" Izaya quietly called out to the stunned blond.

A few moments of silence passed till he heard Shizuo's soft voice, barley auditable, if he wasn't so close he would have missed it entirely. "…My kitten… It was you right? That's what you're hinting at right?"

The raven looked at the blond in surprise, blinking a few times. He was completely thrown off by the question. Shizuo had yet to look up at him so he was unable to identify how the blond was feeling his neutral tone leaving the raven pondering.

'Wow did he already figure out that I was the kitten, I thought it would take more than just one hint, maybe I really do have a chance at having these feelings returned if he excepts the part I was his beloved pet so readily'

With that in mind Izaya smiled broadly and playfully spun himself in front of the blond on the other side of the grave, now in front of the other. He barely managed not to stumble, his body in no condition to perform his usual flourished movements.

"Yup" he chirped "I'm surprised you caught on so quickly, I thought I'd need to give you some more hints or right out say it ne~."

Shizuo slowly rose up from the ground where he was crouched, his head still down and his bangs hiding his face.

Gradually he reached a hand out toward the ravens face.

"…Izaya…" He sounded so out of it. His voice lacking any inflections to indicate what he was feeling, leaving Izaya a little unsure how to respond to the calling of his name.

Well ain't that sweet, Iza-chan is finally getting some good luck, time for some real emotional bonding for them both.

See ya next chapter.

Kir~