This chapter in nothing short of Izaya having a panic attack for those fifty minutes of being 'grounded'. Xp

That was a horrible joke, I'm sorry~

Chapter 21

Buried alone in the cold ground and left to rot like corpse, Izaya couldn't help but feel it was all a little fitting. After all his body had spent nearly a year essentially dead with machines keeping it alive, while he ran around as a carefree kitten, it should have been long since been put to rest.

So why, only now that he was back in it, finally truly alive again, he's where he should have been months ago, buried under ground to rot.

He was going to die slowly, he'd suffocated, maggots wriggling in and out of his body as they ate away at his flesh. Would anyone even bother to look for him, would Shizuo bother to come back?

He could swear he could already feel insects crawling against his skin, digging their way into his wounds to start eating away at him even though he wasn't dead yet. He could hardly even squirm, unable to do anything about the tickles as itches against his skin.

He was sure Shizuo had regretted killing him. That was really the only thing he could cling to, a reason that would bring the man back to get him.

But then there was a worse thought nagging at the back of his mind. What if Shizuo simply didn't want the world to see him as a murderer? I the actual killing wasn't what bothered him, but just the consequences and not the action it's self. As things were, if the man said nothing, then no one would ever know what happened to Izaya. Plenty of people had seen the raven wondering around town today, alive and well months after that deadly fight. The news of his returned would have already spread and then… and then that was it, he just disappeared and no one would blame Shizuo this time.

Izaya screwed his eyes shut for a moment, tears welling up. No, no he knew Shizuo didn't think like that. Izaya knew the blonde had been upset and it had nothing to do with what others thought of him. For moths Shizuo had spilled his feelings out to his cat, Izaya had heard it all. The blood bothered him. The idea that he killed someone, even someone like Izaya made his sick to his stomach.

Shizuo would feel bad soon, he'd come back. Izaya was going to be fine. He just had to sit in the dark for a bit and wait. This would all be over soon. He'd laugh at the blonde's over reaction and they'd talk things over.

He's put this whole experience in one of his little boxes and pretend it never happened. Even crack tasteless jokes about it just to prove it didn't bother him, that something as simple as being buried alive didn't faze him.

But as the minutes passed by so too did Izaya's fear began to rise. Shizuo still hadn't come back and the thoughts of dying- that every minute brought him closer to being that image of rotting corpse- they plagued his mind.

It had been Celty's powers that pulled him from death, bound him to a body that wasn't his own and then eventually returned him back to his own. He nervously wondered if any after effect of that would have him stuck in his own corpse now, watching from inside an unmoving lump of flesh as it rotted around him, as maggots ate away at his eyes and soft tissue. Forced to watch from inside, but unable to move.

Izaya swallowed his building nausea. He couldn't afford to make himself puke at his own morbid wonderings. Suffocation was one thing; he didn't need to drown in his own vomit first.

Cold fear chilled his spine as he felt something wet seeping though the dirt. His back was getting wet, soaking the back of his shirt and running along his skin beneath, a feeling that both tickled and burned.

No, no, no please. Did it start raining? It was dark, cold and cramped. He barely made enough room for his chest to expand with air.

His forehead was pressed into the dirt below, padded down just enough so he wouldn't breathe dirt. He was going to suffocate down here if Shizuo didn't come back for him soon, that much was inevitable. But if it kept raining he'd likely down first. He'd be forcefully held down by the weight above him as water slowly seeped in around and there was nothing he could do to get away.

As time passed more water seeped steadily through the loose soil above, filling the small space he had for air. It seemed the universe simply hated him. It didn't seem he had any say in whether he was going to drown or not, apparently suffocating on his own carbon dioxide was to boring. He was going to get the much more painful version of having his lungs filled with muddy water while he panicked for air.

Izaya startled as the gathering liquid began to pool against where his head was pressed. His heart hammering way in his chest as his fear rose.

He screamed inside his own mind, as tears damped his lashes.

Help! Please help! Shinra! Celty! Shizuo! Someone get me out of here! I can't- I can't do this- I don't want this to happen! PleasePlease… please…

Shizuo wasn't coming back was he? He was really going to leave him here to die. Slowly. Painfully. Scared.

He squeezed his eyes shut tight as he continued to scream for help in his head, there was no point in calling out, no one would hear him and he'd only waste the thin amount of air he had left. He was going to die again.

Hadn't Shizuo been upset he'd killed him the first time? Why did he do this? Was there even any chance he'd come back? The blond hadn't said a word the whole time much less any indications he'd return. Izaya had just assumed he would, that he'd calm down and have second thoughts.

When he'd woken up early that day, Izaya had been so eager to find Shizuo. He hopped the man would have shown some amount of joy at seeing him alive after having been so upset for months after seeing the state of the raven's comatose body.

Perhaps hoping the blonde might even hug him out of relief was a bit of wishful thinking on his part, but violent anger had not been something Izaya had been prepared for. But after a year of living with Shizuo, of receiving the man's soft smiles, of feeling actually loved and wanted by another person, Izaya had deluded himself into believing so of that would transfer over to him human self once that his kitten and Izaya were one and the same.

Izaya was given something he never thought he wanted from anyone, much less from Shizuo and then he found under his obsession to torment the man was the desire to be loved and accepted

Izaya had just wanted those gentle touches he had as a cat, so why did he get this instead? Why hadn't Shizuo listen to him at all? He knew he'd started off badly, but still was his shitty personality really worth this? Would he still be here now had he not been so impulsive, if he had thought through what he was going to say and started off more pleasantly?

This was a really cruel way to kill someone, a slow method that gave plenty of time for fear and panic to overtake the mind. The raising water just made it worse, he couldn't see how much air he had left but he could certainly feel the water getting closer to his mouth and nose as a cruel indicator of his time running out.

Had there been no water he would be scared of course, it would get harder to get a full breath and he'd get light headed. Fully aware what was happening he'd take deep breaths that still wouldn't be enough, he'd eventually weaken. He'd feel out of breath and tired and eventually he'd pass out and just never wake up.

But now with what was likely heavy rain filling the small space steadily with water. He'd struggle as the murky liquid slowly invaded his lungs, heavy and foreign it would fill his air ways. He'd cough in a reflex to expel it only to fail as every breath of air would be mixed with water. It would burn at his nose and lungs. The process would be less drawn out perhaps, but it would be slow enough and It would be much more painful till the point he'd finally pass out while choking.

Water had begun to lap at his face, sputtering the murky water from his mouth he tried to pull his head up away from the bottom of his dirt grave only to meet the resistance of the dirt incasing him, there was no give, his head firmly held down to the raising water.

Izaya tilted his head, struggling to keep his nose above the water, but it was getting harder and harder to breathe in anything but mud and water. The muddy water filling his nostrils with the small amounts of air he could manage, causing him to snort and cough it right back out as he tried to clear his air way. He couldn't breathe right. He couldn't get away. He was going to passing out. If he lost conciseness he'd surely drown. The more he tried not to breath in too much to avoid taking in water the closer he was to losing conciseness, but breathing deeper would mean taking in water and that would hurt so much worse.

His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, his limps weakening as the tension drained out. Just as he was passing out he felt something hit his back and start to claw at the fabric. The touch was dulled against his skin numbed by the cold rain, but he was sure he felt hands pulling his shoulders back and wrap around his waist before pulling him up and away from that torturous water.

What a familiar feeling.

He only hoped he's wake up human and not as a pigeon or a rat this time. Honestly though, that might be preferred to being a kitten again. At least as vermin he'd be treated like how he was used too, less likely to get needlessly attached that way. He almost wished he had been one of those the first time, and then he wouldn't have ended up in this pathetic state.

Still some small, sad part of him wanted to be a cat again and for the blonde to find him all over again. Maybe Izaya just wasn't meant to be happy as a human. Maybe he was ok with living the rest of his life as an animal as long as he was loved.

How disgustingly pathetic.

Honestly I think Izaya's just gonna have water trauma in my fics… This isn't even the last fic he will drown in. Someone should just get this guy a pair of floaties, he's gonna need them. XD

Next chapter will be out next weekend~

It's pretty much done, just needs some editing. It's a pretty long chapter, a little over 4k. Also this now has 24 chapters instead of 23 as there is a little fluffy scene I wanted to write after a bit of a time skip. Xp