Hi guys, I'm finally back! And to end the year to boot! Merry Christmas to everyone, and I hope you guys have a Happy New Year!
To get it out of the way, I'm very sorry for the delay - because of it, I've decided to upload two chapters instead of just one! I hope that more than makes up for it! I actually wanted to upload this chapter by Christmas, but I always forget how hectic the holidays can be. I almost had to delay it to next year but I didn't want to leave the year without actual uploads. However, if there are some continuity errors in these two chapters, you can pin it to me not delaying these chapters. Sorry in advance for that. If you guys find any, please let me know in the reviews!
Anyways, after the last chapter, I wanted to focus on a bit more comedic and light-hearted content instead of comedic and dark stuff - like Pulp Fiction and White Sheep (technically). So while this chapter is still comedic, it's less dark humor and more absurd and relatable humor.
This is where the focus of this chapter comes in - CalebCity! If you don't know who this dude is, watch him on YouTube, he's SO funny. He's a YouTuber who posts skits that are funny and can be random, but most of the time end up parodying various story tropes. I won't lie though, I got this idea from The Hat of the Hats, who posted a chapter on his own react-fic which focused on Caleb's Superhuman Interview Skit. While I won't do that one - I'll focus on other skits. Hopefully this gives you all a laugh!
Anyways, on with this chapter!
I DO NOT OWN RWBY OR ANY OF THE SOURCES THAT I WILL HAVE THE CHARACTERS REACT TO. That being said, all of that is implied since it's fanfiction.
A City of One (CALEBCITY)
"So we're back to the prime universe? I hope it's not me, or some guy wearing a wig pretending to be me again…" Jaune stated.
"Unfortunately for you, Jaune, it IS you that we will see in this video."
"Oh come on!"
"It'll be your actual actor though, not someone wearing a wig."
"I guess that's not too bad then."
Upon hearing that Jaune would be the focus of yet another viewing, a lot of the people in the cinema felt the need to voice out something that they've noticed.
"Why is it always Arc?"
"It's like we're always reacting to Jaune!"
"He can act and sing, and now he's doing skits? What's next?"
"Can we see some other people for once? There's literally another blonde guy right here!"
"I have a name you know, uh-...Gray Hair guy!"
Chrono chuckled at the reactions. "He's just a prolific and popular guy, what can I say?" [1]
With that, Chrono then beckoned everybody to be quiet as he was starting the viewing.
The screen appeared to remain black.
Suddenly a bunch of words in white appeared.
'IF THEY LET A DRUG DEALER INTO A MUSICAL.'
"...What type of musical would allow a drug dealer into it?" Emerald asked, confused by the title.
"A fun musical," Roman responded, getting a quiet laugh from Neo.
"Aren't there actual musicals that have drug dealers as characters though, Nep?" Sun asked.
Neptune thought about it for a bit before his eyes widened in realization. "Yes…there is! We saw one in the North End Theatre back in Mistral!"
"Which one again?"
Before Neptune could answer, Sage spoke up.
"Guys, I think they meant like an actual drug dealer in a musical setting…"
"Oh…."
The screen then sprang to life to show a young man (Jaune, or to be more accurate - his actor) wearing a purple shirt, tan jeans, black and white sneakers, glasses, and a blue backpack walking out from the side fence of a house with an open garage out into the street.
He had a smile on his face and was gripping the straps of his backpack with both of his hands before a voice called out to him.
"Hey kid!"
"Did he just call out to himself?" Velvet asked.
Coco then chuckled to herself when she realized how the skit was going to be like. "I think Jaune is acting as both the kid and the drug dealer."
"What do you mean?"
"You know! Like those skits I show you sometimes on ClickClack!"
Hearing the voice, the kid stopped walking and looked towards the direction of where the voice came from.
The screen then showed who the voice belonged to. It was the same young man (Jaune), but with a different outfit. He had a black shirt and denim jacket, and sunglasses on.
Yang chuckled when she saw Drug-Dealer-Jaune. "Oh of course…everybody knows that ALL drug dealers wear sunglasses…that's like their uniform!" She joked.
"Wait…doesn't that mean the guys that Torchwick hired were drug dealers?" Ruby thought to herself out loud.
Seeing no reason to not answer her, Torchwick responded. "In all honesty? Yeah, they were." Roman let out a scoff. "That's probably why they were so sorry at fighting…"
"You're one to talk."
"Hey Black, can you continue to bother Green instead of bothering me?" The thief snapped to Mercury.
Looking around shiftily and being slightly hunched over as if to hide something in his jacket, the man in the denim jacket spoke quietly. "You wanna buy some drugs?" He asked with a huge grin. The man in the jacket was a drug dealer.
The kid, still holding the straps, looked confused. "Um…what are drugs?"
Hearing the question, the dealer's posture straightened. "What are drugs?!" The dealer repeated in an incredulous tone.
"Well they'r-They're spectacular substances that make you feel MAGNIFICENT!" The dealer exclaimed whilst spinning around with his hands out for good measure.
"Yeah, like that definition is totally not exaggerated…" Weiss deadpanned.
The kid still looked confused however. He put a hand to his face. "Um…wait…didn't my parents tell me drugs are ba-"
"No no no, shut up shut up shut up!" The dealer interrupted, bringing his hands forward in a stop gesture.
Taiyang snorted upon hearing the dealer's refutation of the kid's statement. "That sounds familiar."
"Oh no…" Qrow stated.
"That's basically what you said to Summer to try and get her to drink back at Beacon!"
Ruby overheard this and immediately wanted to know more. "You tried to get mom drunk, Uncle Qrow?!"
"Hey! I was young and confused!"
"I'm young and confused! And even I know it's wrong!"
"Alright, let me explain!" The dealer continued as he pointed at the kid and dunked underneath the screen, as music began to play. [2]
The location then switched to the side of a random road seemingly near the neighborhood.
The dealer then popped into the screen from the bottom, now with his hood up. He began to sing. He nodded his head as he sang, before he turned and showed what was in his pocket, a clear bag full of white powder - the drugs.
Hey there boys and girls, I got plenty of, many of drugs for you~! (Lots of drugs for you~)
Turning back, he continued to sing as he put up the bag near his face. As he continued to sing, he threw the bag away and put his hands up and spun around again, going away from the camera.
Don't you want to know just how many of all the drugs you can do~? (There's so much to do~)
"The variety of them allows for a lot of potential buyers too!" Roman added. When he received some odd looks from the Hunters in training, he clarified how he knew.
"You think I was always a master thief? I had to work my way up the ladder, and drug dealing was one of the ways to do so!" He said with a huff.
Meanwhile, Cardin's team noticed something else with the lyrics. "Wouldn't trying all of those drugs at once be dangerous?" Sky asked.
"Yeah, you could OD!" Russel added.
"You idiots…that's not what Jauney-boy means!" Cardin stated in an exasperated tone.
"Oh…"
"And besides, nobody in their right mind would try several drugs at once, unless they want to end up like that maniac!" Cardin exclaimed, pointing towards Tyrian.
Tyrian in response, just laughed.
Now on the street, the dealer was walking as he sang. While singing, he got out a roll of drugs from his jacket and held it up, then a man appeared and held up a dollar bill. The two hands collided as they met up, and the man took the drugs whilst the dealer took the money. Putting the money in his pocket, the dealer went down into a slight crouching position and began to do a dance. The man turned around and danced as well.
I'm always selling, and they sure go fast~
You better get some, because they won't last~
"A depressing truth unfortunately." Ozpin admitted.
"It's a shame how many feel the need to take them." Glynda added.
"Doesn't help that the reasons for doing so are multi-faceted and complex, making it hard to find a singular way to stop drugs from going off the streets too…" Ironwood mentioned with a frown.
The kid was shown nodding to the beat of the song, whilst smiling.
Don't be a square bear and say that they're bad~
The screen then switched to a man in a checkered shirt lighting up some drugs, before it panned out to show that it was the young man (Jaune) once again. However, it seemed that he sensed the camera since he suddenly looked shocked. He put the drugs in his back pocket and put the lighter down, before smiling and waving towards the camera.
~Don't worry children, I sold some to your dad~! (To your dad~!) (Lala, dadi-doo~)
Mercury mirthlessly laughed at the screen.
"Thinking about daddy again?" Emerald mocked.
"Fuck off!"
"Oh come on! What was it? Alcohol? Meth? Crack? Which one did he take before kicking your ass?" Emerald said with a smile as Mercury murderously glared at her. She knew it was over the top, but in her mind, it was warranted for all the stuff she had to put up with from him.
Still on the street and crouching, the dealer ran up to the camera whilst singing.
Come along, come along, hurry up, because the cops are coming~ (Oo-ooh~)
The dealer went to the side of a car, and then looked at the camera whilst hiding at the side of the car that was away from the streets. He continued to sing as the camera zoomed on him.
If you hide by the cars on the streets, they'll never see you there…~ (Oo-ooh~)
"What is this, a video game?" Neptune asked. "Do the cops have no object permanence and think if a person isn't in their vision, they're gone?"
"That'd make my job a lot easier…" Roman admitted
"Shit, I wished the cops in MVT were like that! They keep shooting up every car I jack! Like come on man, I just broke the windows to get in, and now you're breaking the other ones too?" Yang added.
"Yang, what are you talking about?" Her dad asked.
"Motor Vehicle Theft! You know…the crime game?"
"That still exists?" Taiyang exclaimed, incredulous.
"You know about that game? Wow. I think they're releasing a sixth version of it soon!"
Now having left his hiding position, he pointed towards another camera and continued to sing. Then he got the drugs out of his pocket, and threw them into some bushes nearby. He then looked at the camera and made a quiet gesture with his hand whilst smiling.
Don't you know these drugs are so special that, all the cops want to take them~
Winter snorted. You could definitely say that again…
Now near the fence of the home where the kid was again, the dealer was dancing whilst singing, presumably to the kid. [3]
Follow my directions, I'll show you the proper way we can shake them~!
However, whilst he was still dancing, the music stopped. Then a voice was heard outside the screen.
"Come on!" It seemed that a person was running towards the dealer.
"Looks like the fun's over!" Pyrrha pointed out.
"Yep! You got busted, pal!" Nora said to her leader, who simply gestured that it's technically not him.
Suddenly, a person's fist flew into the screen and the dealer was punched in the face. He fell down, out of view. "Ahh! Wait!" The dealer screamed, as he was punched once again. The screen then showed what appeared to be the point of view of the dealer.
There was a police officer above him, wearing a gray hoodie, sunglasses as well, a hat and hoodie, and he was holding cuffs on his right hand - the same hand he used to punch the dealer. But that wasn't the biggest deal - the police officer also looked like the kid, and like the dealer! It was the same young man - Jaune!
The police officer continued to punch the dealer as the screen went slightly grayish and warm. As the dealer was groaning in pain, the officer grunted as he kept punching with force. Then, the officer exclaimed out loud "We got 'em!"
Then, grabbing the side of his hood with his free hand as he kept punching the groaning dealer with his other hand, he brought it to face - as if to mimic a police walkie-talkie, he repeated what he said. "We got 'em, we got 'em!"
The screen then turned to black.
"I don't know what he expected. He was out in the street singing about drugs! He was the easiest person to catch ever! Of all time!" Weiss exclaimed.
"True. But that makes it funny, doesn't it?" Yang replied.
"No! No it does not!"
"So…is that it?" Sun asked. "That was kinda short."
"Yeah…the length seems kinda disappointing. I was expecting mo-"
However, instead of the viewing ending - another bunch of words in white appeared yet again.
'WHEN YOU GOTTA QUESTION YOUR OWN INTELLIGENCE.'
"-re…oh okay." Neptune said.
The screen then changed to show Jaune once again, wearing glasses and a black shirt. He had a black backpack on his back, as evident with the straps on him again. While his face was directly on screen, he was looking towards something else instead of the camera.
"Now, who thinks they know the answer to this equation?" A voice asked. It was very much Jaune but with a deeper and more professional voice. It seemed that it was a student who was on the screen, and a teacher in the background. It was a class setting for this skit.
"A skit based on school? Interesting." Oobleck muttered.
"Yes, I wonder what type of situations would make Mr Arc in this skit feel the need to question his own intelligence…" Ozpin added.
Meanwhile, Jaune noticed how he was weaning glasses for this skit. "Do I really have to wear glasses in this to show I'm in school?" He grumbled.
"It's okay Jaune, I think they look good on you." Pyrrha mentioned.
Jaune smiled at that. Huh. Maybe I should get glasses for my outfit? Or maybe goggles would fit better…
The bespectacled student put his hands up, as others were heard clamoring for the teacher to pick them.
"I need the credit! I need the point!" He said, as he was smiling. He was confident he had the right answer!
"You over there!" The teacher said, picking another person. The student then looked to his left, with his hand still up.
"Um, it is 8?" The person answered - not seemingly sure that he was right.
"BRO I PROMISE I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT!" The student exclaimed as he put his hand down and looked at the teacher. "I PROMIS-"
"Yeah, well you're both wrong." The teacher simply said. "See, to properly answer the-"
Most of the Hunters-In-Training burst out laughing when they saw the embarrassing situation play out on the screen.
"Oh my God! Ha ha!"
"Yep! That's one way to make you think you're dumb!"
"Pfft! The look on his face!"
Some of the other hunters in training, on the other hand, were embarrassed.
Ruby was red, as she remembered doing a similar thing back at Signal. Ugh…Uncle Qrow heard about that too, and made sure to tutor me in his classes for the next few weeks.
Nora's cheeks heat up too, as she literally had a similar situation happen back in Peach's class. I SWEAR poison ivy made poison dust…
The teacher's explanation was cut off as the camera zoomed in on the student. Now, he was no longer smiling and had a look of shock on his face.
The student closed his eyes and looked down, visibly ashamed of himself. The screen then went black and white as he was shown shaking his head vigorously and putting his hand to his face as he contemplated how wrong he was. His thoughts were then heard, accompanied by some fitting music.
'Dammit. I'm so stupid. I didn't even need to say that was my answer. All I had to do was wait, and now I look stupid. Why do I come to clas-'
"I feel you, screen-Jaune! I really do." Neptune stated.
"Yeah…it's worse when you put yourself into that type of situation by saying something when you didn't need to." Coco also added.
"I know right?" Ruby agreed.
The pity party of the student was cut off, as the scene immediately switched to the same bespectacled person again, now sitting on a couch. This time, it appeared to be a home setting, so he wasn't a student in class. He seemed to be playing a video game as he had a headset on and was using a controller.
The gamer however, put down his controller and took his headset off after a few seconds of playing and spoke into the microphone.
"I'll be right back, I gotta go make some hot chocolate!" He announced to teammates inside of the game as he went AFK.
Putting down the headset and controller, he got up from the couch and went to the kitchen. He got a box from the shelf near the kitchen door, which was the hot chocolate brew, and put it on the wooden table to his right. After that, he turned to his left and got a mug from a place off the screen.
Going to the table with the brew, he opened the box and got the packet. However, when he saw the packet - he froze.
"Oh no…"
"You can't do that…"
"How does that happen?"
"Ah!" He exclaimed in shock. Fitting music began to play again. It turned out that the box was…UPSIDE DOWN!
Weiss shook her head. The box was meant to be open a certain way! It shouldn't be possible to mess this up!
'Dammit! I opened the box upside down!'
The Gamer proceeded to shake his head and close his eyes in shame once again as the screen turned black and white. He put the hand carrying the brew packet to his head.
'Why don't I pay more attention? I can't even close it now! What am I doing? I should just put it back. I don't deserve hot chocolat-'
"Seems a bit melodramatic…" Emerald muttered.
"Yeah! Who cares how you open stuff!" Sun added.
The monkey faunus did not expect such a strong reaction.
"Excuse me?"
"What are you, uncultured?"
"Is this some type of Vacuan joke?"
"Who cares how you open stuff? What's next? Who cares how you eat a hot dog - eating it horizontally is just as fine?"
"All right..I guess a lot of people care…" Sun realized.
The inner monologue was cut off once again, as the scene switched to the bespectacled young man going into the scene. He had a white dress shirt on, and was carrying a plate. With this in mind, he appeared to be a waiter.
The waiter put the food down on the table that was off-screen.
"Here's your food. And let me know if you need anything else. Enjoy your meal!" The waiter said to his customer.
The screen then showed the young bespectacled man in the glasses and black shirt - presumably the student and the gamer - sitting down as he prepared to eat.
"Thanks, you too!" He replied as he looked up to the waiter.
The waiter looked at the customer with an amused look before turning around leaving through a door. Fitting music began to play again.
A lot of the more awkward hunters-in-training, and some of the others - like Ilia, facepalmed upon hearing the person at the table says 'you too' as well.
"I've…done that more times than I would like to admit, to be honest…" Ilia mentioned.
"Yeah, and that look they give you too? Ugh, just kill me now!" Blake said.
Both of the faunus realized who they were talking to, before turning away from each other awkwardly.
The customer's smile dropped as he once again dropped his head and closed his eyes in shame.
'I'm stupid.'
He put his hand on his head and then looked up as if to question his life decisions.
'I looked that man directly in the eye and said something stupid. Why do I keep talking? He's gonna remember that for the rest of his life. What am I doing here?'
Qrow snorted at the monologues. "These thoughts that we're hearing are actually pretty funny!"
"Yeah, didn't you think like this back in the day?"
"Ugh…do you ever get off my case, Tai?"
The scene changed once again to a door in the house. The door was opened a few seconds by the young man in glasses with the black shirt - who again was likely the same guy as before (the student, the gamer, the customer). He had a game in his hand and had an excited demeanor.
"Bro! Guess what just came in the mail!" The gamer exclaimed.
The screen changed to show the same person sitting on the couch, but wearing a blue and red hoodie - and NOT wearing glasses, showing that he's a friend and not the same person.
"What's that?" The friend replied as he saw what was in the gamer's hand.
The gamer put the game in his hand up high to show it. "THAT NEW SMASH FIVE! YOU READY TO GET DROPPED?" The gamer emphatically declared.
"BRO WHAT?"
"YEAH!"
"THAT AIN'T EVEN OUT YET!"
Hearing what his friend said, the gamer went from looking at the Smash 5 game he got and looked back at his friend in shock. "Huh?" He uttered.
Upon realizing what the gamer just said, a lot of gasps were heard among the younger side of the audience.
"Did he just…"
"No way…"
"You must've gotten early access then! Who do you know who works for Nintendo?" The friend asked. He was about to receive a disappointing answer.
Looking down, the gamer only had one thought. 'Dammit.'
The screen then showed the logo of 'SUPER SMASH BROS' but with a scribbled out text at the bottom replaced with poorly photoshopped '5!'. A group of voices, all the same person, proceeded to do an acapella rendition of the Smash Bros theme.
As the rendition reached its end, the screen switched to show that that was what was being shown on the TV of the Gamer and his friend. The TV then changed its scene to show a table and a bunch of action figures fighting as they were controlled by a person's hands as acapella battle music was playing in the background.
Seeing the video, the students chuckled at how the gamer got duped very hard.
Meanwhile, the adults were just annoyed.
"How do you let yourself be scammed like that?" Glynda exclaimed, exasperated. "You would have to be incredibly incompetent to allow that to happen!"
"You know how people can be, Glynda. Sometimes, they're so desperate for something - they ignore signs of things being too good to be true." Oobleck reasoned.
The screen switched back to show the friend on the couch. He was not amused. He looked at the gamer.
The gamer looked ashamed of himself as he once again shook his head, put down his head and closed his eyes.
Jaune cringed. That's like when I do something to piss my sisters off…
"Who did you buy this from? WHO DID YOU BUY THIS FROM? ANSWER MY QUESTION!" The friend said angrily as it was cut off by fitting music and the gamer's thoughts.
'I can't believe I paid 300 dollars for something so stupid.'
He put his hands to his head. The friend's rant was still able to be heard partially in the background.
'Why? Why didn't I do more research? I'm so stupid! How did my parents birth somebody so stupid?
The screen went to black again.
With Emerald's mockery forgotten, Mercury found himself chuckling again. "Surely that's not all, right? I'd love for one more sk-YES!" He put his hands up in triumph.
And for the third time - another bunch of words in white appeared yet again.
'WHEN THE HERO IS JUST AS SMART AS VILLAIN.' [4]
"Both of them should at least be smarter than the person who wrote that title," Qrow quipped, getting chuckles from Yang and an eye roll from Winter. Qrow grinned at both responses.
The screen changed to show the same door in the house as the previous scene in the other video. The door was opened from the outside, and the same young man as seen in all the videos (Jaune) appeared. He went through the door and then closed it behind him. He was wearing glasses again, as well as a red long sleeved shirt and sweatpants.
As he entered the house, he had his hands in his pocket. His face showed recognition of a person as he spoke.
"Ah. So you're the legendary thief that everybody tries so hard to catch!" He stated.
"Huh. That thief sounds like Lupin." Adam stated. [5]
"Is that…." Roman started as he began to remember.
"The legendary wolf faunus who was a better gentleman thief than you?" Adam said with a smirk.
Roman scoffed. "Is he really better than me? Who's still kicking about?"
"Who's forced to work for someone whilst the other is in retirement?" Ilia joined in.
Roman scowled. "Yeah well…at least I look better. Lupin's sideburns do NOT look fashionable."
The camera showed the back of the thief - the villain, wearing a black hoodie, walking away. However, as the man in red finished what he was saying, the thief paused before replying.
"Who's asking?"
The man in red - the hero just looked confused. "...That wasn't a quest-" He stopped before changing what he was saying. "Okay, first of all, why do you say all do that?" He continued, as he put a hand to his neck.
"Who's asking?" He mocked, mimicking the voice of the villain. "What do you expect me to say to that?" He added, with his normal voice.
The scene changed to show the face of the villain - who was also wearing glasses - contemplating what the man was saying with wide eyes.
"You-you're just giving yourself away - and-and I- and what am I supposed to say?" The hero gestured to himself. "What am I supposed to say after that?"
The villain looked slightly embarrassed.
"That's stupid. Like at least try to act like you don't know English or something. Be more creative! Like 'No Hablo Ingles' or something like that. Like you know what I mean?"
"He does have a point, to be fair. Saying that doesn't really help in that situation." Neptune pointed out.
"Isn't that saying just some sort of cliche though?" Sun pointed out.
"I guess…."
Outside of those two, one person was focused on a part much more important than all of that.
"No Hablo Ingles?" Oobleck asked.
"It means 'I don't speak English' in Spanish."
"Ah, I see. Thank you, Chrono!"
After a few seconds, the hero realized he was getting off track. "Nevermind, I'm getting off topic. Anyways, to answer your question,"
The camera zoomed in on the hero's determined face.
"I'm the guy that's gonna catch you!"
"Nice! Confidence is key!" Yang began.
The villain turned around with a smirk. "Oh…really?" He questioned. "With what evidence?"
"Oh there's plenty of evidence!" The hero retorted. "Like what's in your hoodie pocket!" He declared.
The villain looked down to his pocket, which had both of his hands inside of it. "What?" He asked, before taking out what was inside. "This bottle?"
He smirked. "Why would a simple water bottle incriminate m-"
"Shake it."
The smirk dropped. "Hmph." He shook the bottle and a metallic jingle could be heard.
"Yeah! Get him! Don't let up!" Yang continued.
"What are you doing?" Weiss asked, confused.
"I'm, uh, commentating on this battle of wits!"
"And cheering too? That seems awfully biased…"
"Home team announcers are meant to be biased!"
"Seriously?"
"You're smarter than you look." The villain stated.
The hero looked confused for a second time. "...That….that doesn't work here,"
Parts of the audience chuckled at that line.
"I don't get it…" Dove asked.
Cardin explained. "Jauney is both of them, so mentioning looks is redundant."
"Oh…"
"...But anyways, I have reason to believe that you tried to steal a key to a safe that held millions upon millions of dollars." He stated.
"However, I swapped that key," He continued before holding up his own key, "with a banana! Before you got to it."
The villain's eyes widened. He opened the bottle and got the banana out of it. He looked shocked to see that there was a fruit inside of it instead of his key.
As he held the banana, he still looked surprised before his face became calm once more. He looked at the hero and grinned. "Impressive! But I only expected that."
"...Really?" The hero did not look convinced.
"Yeah! Really?" Nora exclaimed, as she and the others were just as confused as the hero.
"Yes, really!" The villain replied as he put down the bottle. "I expected you to swap that out with this banana." He began to peel the fruit. "So I managed to steal the key before I stole it! Then I planted it into the banana that you would swap it with!"
It was now the hero's turn to be shocked as his eyes widened.
"The one that you have is a fake replica key that I made!" The villain finished.
However, the hero immediately replied with a smile, whilst still holding up the key. "Funny that you should say that." He pointed at the villain with his other hand. "Because I knew you would make a fake key. So I STOLE the fake key that you made and swapped it with the real one!"
The villain dropped his smile and began to look panicked once again. The hero still continued speaking however. "So that when you inevitably swap the real one with the fake one, you would actually put the real one back in its place. In other words, the one in that banana - is the fake one!"
"Oh… I see how this is…" Salem said, sounding somewhat sad. This is like when they would play games and make up fake rules to turn the game on the others…what were their names again. Salem was somewhat distressed to forget the name of her children.
"Hmph." The villain simply replied before smiling once again. "Very clever! But I thought ahead."
"Of course he did…" Blake said with an eye roll.
Holding up a detonator, he stated his contingency. "I planted bombs around the city that I could detonate at any moment in several locations….IF you don't give me the key right now."
It seemed that the hero lost.
"Now, what will it be? The key…or destruction?" The villain concluded his ultimatum with a wide grin.
The hero paced around for a few seconds, contemplating his choices. "That's a hard decision…it's a good thing I don't have to pick!" He stated as he looked back at the villain and held up a battery. "Because this is the battery to your detonator!"
The villain looked at his detonator before looking back at the hero. "I'd be angry…if I didn't already put the bombs on a backup timer!"
"I'd be pressed…if we already didn't disarm them!" The hero retorted before putting his hands up to show a bunch of wires and dropping them.
"Is this just gonna be the whole skit?" Mercury asked. "Not that I'm complaining, this is amusing to watch."
"I'd be upset if I didn't-"
A phone soon started to ring, which interrupted the villain's next line.
The hero soon realized it was his phone, before looking expectantly at the villain for permission to use his phone.
The villain still had his grin. "You might want to answer that." He simply said in response.
Looking a bit cautious, the hero slowly got the phone out of his pocket before answering. He put it on speaker mode beforehand though. "Hello?" He said.
"Yeah, I'm calling back this number, uh because, your dry clean-AH!" The phone call was interrupted as explosions went off from the other side and the person was heard screaming in pain.
The villain chose to continue his sentence then, whilst the screams of pain of the dry cleaner was heard in the background. "I knew you would disarm the bombs. That's why I placed EXTRA bombs at YOUR dry cleaner! You'll never enjoy unwrinkled clothes again. You'll have to iron them, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!"
"That's cruel…" Yang said dramatically.
The rest of her team just rolled their eyes at her antics.
"Come on guys! Bombing people is bad, but unironed clothes? That's horrific!"
"I know right?" Coco added.
Yang, not expecting a response, did not know what to say. Is she being sarcastic too?
The hero shook his head in disappointment before hanging up the call. "That sucks…because we relocated those bombs to YOUR DRY CLEANER!" The hero then stated as he looked at the villain.
"The classic switcheroo! Oldest trick in the book!" Roman said with a laugh.
Neo wrote something for Roman to read in response, which made him scowl. "Almost as old as me? I'm not that old! ….Stop laughing Neo!"
The villain looked incensed as he turned around in anger. "I think you missed one detail."
"Hmph. Not likely." The hero seemed so confident that he was victorious, he even turned around. "You're caught bro."
"I'm not even here!"
"...What?" The hero said in exasperated annoyance, before turning around. "WHAT?!" He then exclaimed a second time in disbelief.
"I was never there! You've been facetiming me all this time!" The screen showed not the villain, but a chair and a phone with the villain's facetime on it.
"Oh come on, that's just absur-"
"Pfft! Hahahaha!"
-...Weiss?" Ruby asked in shock, as she was about to say the villain not being there was absurd. Did she just find a part of this skit funny?
"I'm sorry! It's just…WHAT IS THIS?"
"Now hold o-, WHAT?!" The hero was flabbergasted!
"This entire time! I'm actually in my house - chilling!" The villain said as he was holding a laptop to speak to the hero via FaceTime.
The hero walked up to the phone as the villain continued to speak. "You thought you were a step ahead the whole time! Nope! You weren't even talking to me!"
He then picked up the phone. "I been chilling! I WAS CHILL! Good luck! Good luck tryna find me! Good luck!"
Now seeing the hero on FaceTime since the screen changed to show the villain's point of view from FaceTime, the hero began to walk with the phone as he replied. "Wait, what I need luck for? I don't need a thing!" He declared.
The villain laughed in response. "What do you mean?"
"I'M IN YOUR HOUSE!"
Once he realized what the hero said, the villain immediately became scared as he looked around his room. He looked back at the hero and replied. "That's not true…" Fitting music began to play.
The hero looked at the villain like he was dumb before showing himself knocking on a door.
The audience was actually a bit silent, seemingly stunned by the final revelation.
"...Well this just got kind of scary." Qrow said.
"Yup." Taiyang added.
Yang let out a quiet chuckle. "That villain really thought he was fine, huh? Nope!"
As the door was being knocked on, the door in front of the villain began to move…as if someone was knocking on it! Seeing that, the villain became even more alarmed as he nearly dropped the laptop in shock.
"W-what..?" He muttered in shock.
"Open up!" The hero said, with it both being heard behind the door and on FaceTime.
"HOW DID YOU FIND ME?" The villain exclaimed both in fear and in surprise.
Another knock. "Open up!"
"HOW DID YOU FIND ME?" The villain repeated. "HOW?"
"Open up!"
The screen then turned to black. And this time, no other text appeared - signaling the end of the viewing.
"That was the final skit!" Chrono announced. And with that, the audience began to fully speak amongst themselves.
Some, like Raven, Hazel and Tyrian did not find the skits all that intrigued, and simply did not speak.
Meanwhile, the hunters-in-training were quoting to each other the funniest and most relatable moments of the skits.
The teachers and others (mostly Glynda) ended up just nitpicking parts of the skits they found stupid.
However, in the end - one person voiced out what the entire cinema was thinking.
"In all honesty," Neptune said. "For as good as those skits were, I hope the next stuff we see isn't focused on Jaune again…no offense man."
"It's cool, dude." Jaune replied.
"Well fortunately for you guys, another blonde here will be the focus for the next viewing!"
And that's it for the skits. Maybe I'll revisit this, maybe not. Depends on the reception, and to be honest - I felt that these skits didn't really make the characters think that much. That's one major reason as to why this took so long. However, I made the transcript that I wrote a bit more comedic and not just pure description though to compensate, soI hope that's a nice change!
Thank You for reading and getting up to here regardless!
[1] - The amount of Jaune reaction fics are kinda crazy lol. I get it since he's the main male character - but still, it's a bit much. I can't really say I'm better though, since this chapter DID just focus on Jaune. I just couldn't think of a better person to put in here….except for maybe Sun. But I wanted him to be the focus of a future chapter.
[2] - Every time I hear Kokiri Forest's OST, I always have the lyrics to Caleb's song in my mind now lmfao
[3] - I think most of the scenes during the music part were either in his mind (like the scenes in a music video), or what he did before seeing the kid.
[4] - Yes, that's what the title says - I know it should be "As the villain", but the video on YouTube has it like that.
[5] - Yep. It's a Lupin the Third reference.
AND NOW TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS/SUGGESTIONS FROM REVIEWS:
A Guest: Glad you love it, man! And your suggestions for The Batman, and God of War are fantastic! I've been thinking of doing a reaction to The Batman, and I've been looking for react-fics to it as well! The only issue is that I don't know which scenes to choose for context yet - I've been thinking of the first 23 or so minutes - and then adding a scene from Batman Begins (the one where Bruce blames himself) for context - though that scene would be implied to have the same actors from The Batman in the chapter of course. As of God of War, that will be mentioned in one of my replies below. Finally, Google Translate was very good since the English was very great!
A(nother) Guest: Cyberpunk Edgerunners is a great suggestion! I watched that to end the year and the ending struck me bruh. I'm not sure if I'll do Episode 6 exactly, but doing a chapter on it seems interesting to me.
cortescen: That's a good suggestion. I've actually been playing the 2018 one for a bit - so I'm pretty much only up to the Stranger Fight. That being said, I want to play through it first and see a scene that sticks with me.
SecretSquirrel: Lupin and Zenigata being reacted to is not a bad idea! I've only watched Castle of Cagliostro though - and I could have Qrow and Ironwood be the two characters for laughs. I'll think about it.
Turok234: That's not a bad shout but I probably won't do it to be honest. The only scene I find compelling enough (for a reaction - the film's great) would be the scene with Buzz finds out he's not real, but I don't think it's long enough.
KlabOriz: A more serious chapter of any movie or chapter…maybe, but I prefer to do the beginning parts (which tend to be less serious since it's not the climax) as it provides more context and (in my opinion) it allows the characters to understand the story they're reacting to better.
Cooldude101011: Damn, that's a better idea than what I wrote. Well it's too late now dude. I don't do retcons! Excluding fixing grammar mistakes etc…
Hope you guys enjoy the second chapter, and if you only have time for this one - then see you guys next time!
NEXT CHAPTER: From Xero To Hero (Linkin Park)