True Elision Chapter 8: Jigoku Ekusupiriensuto, a death note fanfic

Okey, dokey! First thing's first! I must apologize and ask all the people who have not yet read the new version of the seventh chapter to please reread it – some very important changes have been made, and you won't be able to follow the story if you don't see them. There are also explanations about why I changed the chapter etc!

Now on with the fic! This is officially the last chapter of physical torture. Hopefully, the readers will also realize that physical torture in this story serves as an allusion to another kind of torture: Raito's beliefs and mentality are being put to the test!

For all the Ryuuzaki-lovers out there: please don't be put out when L is described as 'ugly' or 'annoying' in the narration, because I'm doing it on purpose for two reasons.

Reason one: Obata intended Ryuuzaki's character design to show he is weird/abnormal, not kawaii. Remember the scene in Todai University, where the other characters are commenting on Ryuuzaki's appearance. They think he's not a representative bishounen. Even though we all find him adorable, he is technically not supposed to be seen that way in the other characters' eyes, so I'm trying to keep that quality in the story.

Reason two: I'm trying to make Raito think of Ryuuzaki as ugly/freaky now, so I can later show how Raito's perception of Ryuuzaki will change and he'll start thinking of L's quirks (which he now finds 'ugly' and 'annoying') as beautiful/special and attractive. Just bear with me, guys! The romance is coming, I swear!

I don't really need to ask you to excuse the errors, right? (!)

Hell Experienced

"Have you ever studied Shakespeare, Yagami-kun?"

It was said in that characteristic lethargic tone, which suggests that the speaker is actually anything but indifferent. It was the tone of a trained interrogator, who begins his accusations with a complete non sequitur, in an effort to disorient his opponent.

But, much like tennis, this was a game for two.

Raito processed the question carefully, scanning the words for some hidden meaning. After all, the only reason Ryuuzaki had ever deigned to speak to him was to interrogate him, in some indirect fashion.

After a few moments, deciding that the only way he'd discover L's newest goal was to play along, Raito threw the ball in Ryuuzaki's court.

"Now, now, Ryuuzaki…there's no need to be insulting. After all, what educated person has not studied the Bard?" Raito answered, in smug, fluent English, with just an imperceptible trace of foreign accent.

It was quite amusing to see Ryuuzaki's intrigued expression at Raito's usage of words. Apparently, he hadn't expected the auburn-haired man to be so familiar with the colloquial appellations of Shakespeare. His black eyes became fixed on Raito's hazel ones, and his long fingers, wrapped around an oversized lollipop, convulsed spastically as he pondered.

"I didn't mean to renegade your intelligence, Yagami-kun" the detective said, and Raito noticed L had the distinctive British accent when he spoke English – and he spoke English flawlessly. "But even though most people are familiar with Shakespeare's most popular theatrical plays, fewer are acquainted with his more obscure works."

Raito waited to see where this conversation was going. There must be some implication that Ryuuzaki was trying to make – Raito was sure of it, but he didn't yet know exactly what the hint was. And there was only one way to find out: keep playing the game.

"Which particular one did you have in mind?" Raito asked, eager to show Ryuuzaki that he would not be disoriented by the use of a foreign language. L accepted this challenge and continued speaking in English as well, with his British vowel elisions, the characteristic Anglosaxonic sibilance, and all the flair of a native speaker.

"The problem play, 'Measure for measure'" L answered, offering the information with a directness that was quite suspicious in itself.

Raito's mind ignited immediately. 'Problem play' is literature jargon for a tragicomedy, he thought. And the term 'tragicomedy' refers to a play whose nature is unclear in its mixed signals. On the one hand it may seem like an amusing comedy with a happy ending…but on the other hand it includes the thought-provoking, powerful deep emotions of any good tragedy.

The most celebrated of the particular playwright's 'problem plays' had always been the ever-popular and extravagant 'Tempest', which came to Raito's mind immediately. However, the play Ryuuzaki was referring to…

Raito cursed himself. He knew he should have read it at that time! But since it truly had been rather obscure, and he had never been particularly fond of Shakespeare's emphasis on emotion, he'd bypassed the opportunity to read the particular play. How could he have known that, because of not having read it, he'd lose face to a doppelganger Ryuuzaki one day?

Raito gritted his teeth and pasted a trained 'friendly' smile on his face "No, I can't say I have read it, unfortunately." He concluded, unwilling to ask Ryuuzaki for information about it, lest he reveal his extreme awareness of L using the play as a means of interrogation.

"That's a shame, Yagami-kun." Ryuuzaki concluded, and then stopped looking at the red-and-white swirls of his lollipop, giving Raito his absolute attention "I'm sure you'd have enjoyed it." His black irises weighed Raito's every reaction "It's a play about justice."

After a small pause, during which Raito finally started to understand what kind of statement Ryuuzaki was trying to make, the suspect finally spoke. "That sounds very interesting." In this way, his answer would sound ambiguous enough to not be associated with Kira. After all, had he been Kira, he would have pounced on the opportunity to talk about justice. But on the other hand, not rising to the bait at all would have seemed suspicious as well. Best keep his attitude as 'genial' and 'open-minded' as possible. Years of experience had taught him that this was the only way to ward off Ryuuzaki's constant indirect assaults.

The problem with L – at least the real one – was that he liked to play with words just as he did with tennis: fast, lethal, and possibly dirty. The detective's most distinctive strategy was to wait until the opponent was relatively relaxed…and then strike with all power. Ryuuzaki was the kind of man who would never attack without being sure he'd win. He had never had any nobility, no sense of idealism… Raito thought this with self-righteous smugness. At least Raito had been forced, by the various circumstances, to be hypocritical. What excuse did Ryuuzaki have?

"It is" L assured Raito that the play was indeed 'interesting'. Immediately, by the piercing way Ryuuzaki seemed to utter his words, Raito realized that he should get his hands on this book as soon as possible. There must be some reason why Ryuuzaki was referring to it, after all….and Raito was willing to bet that it was something to do with Kira. As much as he despised falling into Ryuuzaki's verbal traps, it was always prudent to stay knowledgeable. He'd have to read that book, if he wanted to be on equal footing with the opponent.

But it was rather difficult to acquire it right now. He looked around at the hotel room they were located in, surrounded by warm pastel hues, crème curtains and the glow of computer monitors. All around them, the new members of the Kira Investigation – a fusion of people of different ethnicities who'd been recruited by Ryuuzaki – were working frantically to make up for all the lost time.

They'd spent so many days recuperating after the earthquake that they'd lost many prominent actions of Kira's. Raito admired the fact that, even though Ryuuzaki had literally been watching him like a hawk for the last three weeks and had seen Raito commit no suspicious acts, he still persisted in his absolute belief that Raito was Kira. Not that Raito could blame him, actually. After going through the extended interrogation session with the demon-Ryuuzaki, he had finally realized how fragile Yagami Raito's innocence had always been, from Ryuuzaki's perspective.

Not to mention that Ryuuzaki had always had a personal vendetta with him. Raito suspected that L, much like a 'petulant child', had always had a gut instinct that Raito was Kira, and didn't want to admit that this gut instinct was wrong.

And now here they were, continuing the vendetta, in a world that Raito wasn't still sure was a hallucination or not.

After all, everything around them seemed so real…so utterly normal: Raito was now able to read all books, computer screens, leaflets and nutritional tags on the back of food cans. Even the television steadily worked, providing the world with the programs and soap operas that Raito remembered from 2004. There were no marionettes in the bedroom, no clocks ticking backward, no demons out to interrogate him, and no…no Hands. Ryuuzaki was still suspicious of Raito, the investigation was still progressing – now without the help of Watari and Ryuuzaki's other minions – and Raito was still, unexplainably, entangled in his own nemesis's life.

In fact, the only difference with the real world that Raito remembered was the wreckage of the earthquake and the rape of Sayu.

But everything had now become so confusing: not only his understanding of the world…but mostly his doubts about the nature of Kira and the nature of his own actions.

But it was completely logical that he was being plagued by doubts. It had all been completely overwhelming for him: first he'd been on top of the platform, being thrown to the Hands…then there was that long interrogation thing, where he kept switching bodies…then he'd witnessed his own father raping Sayu…and then he'd raped the girl himself. And now, a month after having raped her, he was sitting on the settee next to Ryuuzaki, staring at computer screens and analyzing Yotsuba's employees resumes, as though nothing had ever happened. And this was most confusing at all. Even though, technically, nothing had changed, Raito somehow felt as though everything had changed. He was in an internal panic – who was Kira? Was he a murderer or a saviour? And who was Raito? A criminal who doesn't have the right to judge other criminals?

And even if Sayu's rape had been a hallucination, it had served as the instigation to make Raito wonder about his actions in the read world. Had he misjudged everything? Had he misjudged…the nature of justice?

Impossible! There was one thing that Raito had always believed: it would be better if some people did not exist in the world…However…he couldn't say the same thing for the innocents he'd killed. And although he'd claimed, at that time, that he'd killed them for the common good…he wasn't so sure anymore. He wasn't sure who he was, and what his goals were.

The most frightening of all, however, was that, since everything around him was so naturalistic, he was starting to have doubts about his own sanity. Had he dreamt the whole thing up? Had the Hands really been a huge, extremely realistic, nightmare? Had the interrogation been a product of his own subconscious?

Looking at Ryuuzaki now, at the occult way in which he held his cellphone – the detective always tried to leave as few fingertips as possible on objects, since everything was an instrument of observation – Raito realized that this man was an exact carbon copy of the Ryuuzaki in Raito's memory. Ryuuzaki acted, talked and looked just as Raito had remembered. And since Raito had spent two years listening to every word that came out of L's syrup-covered mouth, it was only natural that Raito knew Ryuuzaki's attitude very well.

And now, by looking at the man next to him, he could safely say that this L was exactly like the normal L he'd always known. Robotic, frustrating, obstinate and odd.

The only difference of this simulacrum Ryuuzaki with the real L was that the real one would never, under any circumstances, remove the handcuffs. However, Raito had never seen what the real L's reactions would be if they had to undergo a sudden earthquake and if the detective ever saw Raito rape someone under his very nose. Therefore, it was logical to assume that if the real Ryuuzaki had been put in the same situations, he would have reacted in the same way as this hallucination.

And what had amazed Raito the most, truth be told, was not that Ryuuzaki seemed to keep his distance from him. It was that L had not really tried to distance himself any further. Had Ryuuzaki been the one to rape Sayu, Raito would have never wanted to see the detective. But L, after seeing Raito rape someone – his own sister no less – only reacted with mild disgruntlement. In Raito's mind, this only reinforced the impression that Ryuuzaki was not as committed to justice as he wanted people to believe.

In fact, Raito thought with spite, if Kira could be deemed a murderer instead of a judge, then the same could be said for L. The only difference was that, where Kira felt powerful enough to take matters into his own hands, Ryuuzaki would never want to get his own hands dirty. Instead of actively killing criminals, he was content to 'use' criminals already convicted with the death penalty for his own purposes. In fact, L's most popular phrase, which could be admirably compared to Kira's ideal of the New World, was that 'I know, it's a shame…but it will serve the greater good'.

If Kira was ever really a murderer, Raito thought in scorching ire, then L was twice the killer! He didn't even care for the rigidity of laws, since he was completely content to work with criminals. L's goal had never been to attribute justice…it had been to win the game.

And he was so obsessed with winning that he was prepared to bypass the laws if need be. Raito recalled what had happened a week ago, when they'd finally left the clinic: Raito had still been accused of raping Sayu. Even though Sayu had firmly denied everything, claiming that Raito had never laid a hand on her, Ryuuzaki's testament had also been needed to clear Raito of all charges. Since L had been the only witness present while Raito raped Sayu, the only way Raito could be cleared was if L agreed to support him.

Naturally, based on this, Raito had expected to see the gates of prison very soon, since he was sure Ryuuzaki would surrender him.

He should have known, really, that the very contradiction of Ryuuzaki's nature would never allow anything so predictable to happen. Not only had L not accused Raito, but when L realized that Sayu herself had pressed no charges, he made no effort to amend this and attribute justice. He'd kept a completely indifferent stance instead, not blaming but not redeeming Raito either. Eventually, the authorities had been forced to accept Raito's innocence, given that neither the victim nor the witness had revealed a crime. The overwhelming evidence against Raito's favour was then attributed to mysterious factors and never discussed again.

Albeit reluctantly grateful to L for not having condemned him, Raito was also privately disgusted that the elite-detective, the supposed pivot of justice – besides Kira –, who supposedly wanted to prevent crime from happening, would not surrender a rapist to be punished.

Perhaps Ryuuzaki had realized that Raito's crime had been…excusable…?

No matter what, Raito was not foolish enough to believe that Ryuuzaki had protected him because of friendship, or some other such reason. L had some sort of motive for wanting to keep Raito around.

Indeed. When Raito had finally gathered the nerve to actually ask L why he hadn't surrendered a rapist to prison, L had answered unabashedly, without batting an eyelash that "I know it's a shame…but now the percentage that Yagami-kun is Kira has risen once more. And if Yagami-kun truly is Kira, then it's important I stay close to him and prove his guilt. Proving Yagami-kun is Kira, in the long term, will outweigh a lesser criminal offence."

When L had said this, Raito had stayed silent for a few moments, then answered with a meticulously balanced smile "Then you're suggesting that you don't want to convict me now….because you think I'll be convicted much worse later on?"

And L had blinked very slowly and said "…I don't think of it that way…but I suppose that is part of the procedure."

Raito had said nothing, poising his face in a fake, supposedly amused smile.

Now, as he sat there next to Ryuuzaki on the couch, he felt the weight of the handcuff on his left wrist, even though it was not there. He was tied to this man still, even though there was no chain to verify it. The only difference with before, for Ryuuzaki, was that the chances that Raito was Kira had increased. As though the ordeal with Sayu had never happened.

There was no shock at the rape, from L's part, no manifestations of disgust. Even the absence of the handcuffs, as Ryuuzaki had explained at some point, was not due to resentment on his part. L claimed that he had never reconnected the chain because, after the earthquake, he had realized the handcuffs could present great difficulties in times of emergency. And Raito truly believed that this indeed was L's true reason for not retying them. He just couldn't see L caring for anything except winning the game. Even if winning meant being tied to an incestuous rapist, Ryuuzaki was prepared to do it.

After he'd seen L refuse the chance to surrender a rapist – whose crime he had witnessed with his own black eyes – to justice, he'd permanently stopped seeing Ryuuzaki as any instrument of justice at all.

L was not even a judge with differences from Raito. He wasn't a judge at all. He didn't care about the nature of crimes…only about the hunt for criminals. The only thing Ryuuzaki wanted was to sniff out his opponent. In fact, he couldn't have cared less about justice, Raito thought in annoyance.

For some reason, it aggravated him when people bypassed the matter of justice as though it was irrelevant to their lives. Take Ryuuzaki, for example. He thought he was above all the 'moral issues' of justice…but his stubborn incomprehension prevented him from seeing Kira's true motives and becoming Kira's supporter. And Raito was sure that, had Ryuuzaki had even an iota of morality, he would realize the nobility in Raito's cause. And then Raito would never have been forced to kill innocents, and he would never have wrecked Kira's reputation.

But that was exactly L's problem: he couldn't understand Kira's ideals because he didn't care about justice. Raito had stayed long enough with the other man when they were alive, to realize how Ryuuzaki viewed his own life. Being the world's greatest detective, for Ryuuzaki, was just a job. A job that he liked, because it was challenging, but it was still what he did for a living. When capturing criminals, L was following a certain methodology – he was there to perform a methodical intensive hunt of criminals, not talk about the ineffectiveness of the law. Emotion, ideals, morality and justice had never had anything to do with it, when it came to L. Ryuuzaki was there to perform a function – just like the mailman who distributes the letters to homes without caring what the letters contain – be it anthrax or perfumed love letters – Ryuuzaki was the deliverer of criminals to prisons.

Unlike Raito, who had strained to understand society and improve it, Ryuuzaki had just found a suitable occupation, which would excuse his heartlessness, and used it to exploit his thirst for hunting. Raito had become Kira because he'd started a crusade – regardless of the…mistakes he might have made. But what was L's excuse for pressuring society? Typically, he claimed that he wanted to attribute justice…but Raito had never really seen Ryuuzaki attribute any justice, when they'd been alive. L would supposedly wait for the opportune moment – until he'd catch Kira – to attribute justice. But all Raito had seen L ever do was employ all kinds of degenerate sources in order to capture his opponent.

Suddenly, Raito was jerked away from his trance of angry thoughts, when he heard Ryuuzaki's stagnant voice echo from the left "If you ever come around to reading it, I'd suggest you pay attention to the second act. I'm keen on hearing Yagami-kun's thoughts on it."

Raito's eyes narrowed automatically. He'd figured out years ago Ryuuzaki's ability to read and memorize long texts in extravagant speed. Ryuuzaki had kept doing it with Yotsuba employee resumes, where he'd devoured fifteen sheets of paper when Raito had only read seven – and it had driven Raito up the wall. However, based on L's elephant memory, he could trust Ryuuzaki's words to imply that there really was something in the second act of the particular book worth looking at.

But since Raito was prohibited from exiting the hotel without Ryuuzaki's accompaniment, there was no way he could get his hands on the text by visiting a bookstore. Careful to let Ryuuzaki hear him, he asked a member of the investigation, an American flunky who went by the name of 'Richards', to buy him the book the next time he'd exit the building. Richards agreed with a nod, taking the paper with the book's title and shoving it in his back pocket without looking at it, then proceeding to sit down on an armchair.

Raito felt his eyebrow twitch, but ignored it. He didn't know exactly where Ryuuzaki had found these people. L had probably contacted the secret-Headquarters orphanage back in England when they'd still been in the clinic, but Raito didn't understand how all these people had appeared. Probably something to do with Ryuuzaki's ever-cryptic past. Since neither the Japanese National Police not the FBI wanted to oppose Kira anymore, Ryuuzaki's new band of misfits was comprised by ex-FBI and ex-CIA agents, some new underground professional criminals and some mercenaries. They were all just as committed to the cause as Souichirou Yagami's group had been. But the absence of Matsuda's idiotic asides, as well as Souichirou's fabricated courage, was very strong. No such prominent characters existed in the new group, where L's authority appeared absolute and unquestioned.

Raito was willing to bet millions of yen that those people, whoever they were, had worked with Ryuuzaki before. That's why they never questioned L's motives. Because, obviously, they'd seen first hand how ultimately he could succeed, and they trusted his every decision blindly.

Raito was keenly reminded of Near and Mello. Despite their cooperation and joined efforts, and despite the fact that they had been the ones to capture Raito instead of Ryuuzaki, in Raito's mind, the most prominent figure had always been Ryuuzaki himself. Besides, Near and Mello had always had an advantage over Ryuuzaki: they'd known of the existence of the Death Note all along, and they knew what they were looking for. Had Ryuuzaki been aware of the existence of the Death Note, he would have surpassed his scions.

Perhaps it was because Raito had met the detective when he was still a teenager – despite an incredibly mature teenager – and Ryuuzaki had been the first of all these genius brains to appear in Raito's life. Even so, in Raito's mind, Ryuuzaki would always remain the very personification of the letter "L". As though, after having seen Ryuuzaki – despite all the aggravating habits – he couldn't imagine anyone else as the great detective. Even when Raito himself had been working in Ryuuzaki's shoes, talking to Near from behind the white screen, the letter "L" had been stark and threatening in front of his eyes. Raito had felt, deep down in his gut, a subtle disquietude whenever he'd looked at it. Even though he reassured himself again and again that Ryuuzaki was nowhere to be found.

And, truth be told, now in the afterlife, this sense of persecution had revived full force. He'd thought he'd escaped the constant vigilance, he'd thought he'd gotten rid of Ryuuzaki's permanent suspicion for good.

But even in his afterlife, he was still forced to go and buy Shakespeare's books and try to solve Ryuuzaki's riddles.

Oh, there was no question of worrying, to be sure. Raito was confident he would win once more. He'd outsmarted Ryuuzaki in the past, after all.

But for once, his need to relieve himself from the panic was greater than his need to win. He wished that L could just leave him alone to think quietly and calmly about the things he'd done, without having the added worry of winning games.

For once.

They spent each night in the same way they always had. Reading and taking notes. The only difference with before was that they'd now hear the others' snores echo from around the hotel room – this had never happened in the Headquarters' building, where everyone had their own bedroom.

But the pile of work was good for him, Raito decided. It was helpful that he had something to think about except for Sayu, the rape and the horrible doubts that had consumed his mind about Kira. Now sinking himself in an ocean of names and numerical values, even if he was technically working against Kira, he had the chance to temporarily forget about what he'd done, chalking it all up to a nightmarish hallucination.

Perhaps this blissful oblivion was the very thing that made Ryuuzaki so devoted to his work, although Raito didn't think that Ryuuzaki had any memories to be running away from. With that obsessive way L kept biting his fingernails, Raito sarcastically thought that the detective might actually be trying to forget his own existence by devoting himself to that of other people.

Contrary to what his father had thought, Raito quite enjoyed the long hours of exhaustive work in front of the computer, regardless of the many sleepless nights. In that aspect, he was glad that he'd finally found in Ryuuzaki a person – if Ryuuzaki could be called a person and not a vegetable – who could sympathize and share his obsession with work. In fact, Raito was currently enjoying another one of those long nights, with only the sound of Ryuuzaki's slurps for company – this time in was chocolate fudge, and Raito had also had a piece.

He was currently creating this program, which ideally would succeed in creating a comparison of random statistics. Then he could feed all the data from the Kira investigation into it, and he'd come up with a simulation about the exact differences the victims of the current Kira had, as compared to the victims of before. Technically, Raito already knew that Higuchi was Kira…but he couldn't say that to Ryuuzaki lest L start to suspect him extremely. Besides, the process of discovering the criminal was always the most enjoyable part of the hunt – Raito could agree with L on that much.

It was nearly a quarter to four in the morning, for the third sleepless night in a row, and Raito suddenly got a flashback about how he'd used to spend nights in much the same fashion, hunched above his Death Note and writing names frantically.

The Death Note…writing…people dying…he hadn't thought about that in a while.

The flash of memory was so sudden that he froze, fingers stopping their rhythmical click on his keyboard. Blinking a couple of times, he recovered and started typing away again, having come up with an idea for a new algorhythm. Completely absorbed in his work as he was, the sudden voice that echoed from his left almost made him gasp from surprise.

"Watari"

Ryuuzaki called, with a completely natural voice, which, for some reason, sent a chill through Raito's spine. Raito barely turned his eyes to see Ryuuzaki's face, careful not to move his head and show Ryuuzaki he was watching. Indeed, as he'd suspected, Ryuuzaki appeared completely immersed in what he was reading, clicking his computer mouse.

"Bring me some more toffee, would you?"

Raito stayed completely silent. L had obviously been too focused on his work to remember that Watari…wasn't exactly around any more. And Raito really didn't know how to tell Ryuuzaki this, under the circumstances. He decided to turn back to his own monitor, ignoring the whole situation. L would remember again soon, anyway.

"Watari?" Ryuuzaki called again, after another minute or two, and Raito patiently waited, feeling a bit odd about sitting next to a person who was calling a dead man's name. Combined with raving names of ghosts, the computer glow that fell on Ryuuzaki's profile made him look a tad insane. Raito refocused on his work, determined to wait it out. Ryuuzaki had these crazy outbreaks once in a while…Raito keenly remembered the way the detective had been raving incomprehensively about 'the bells' before he'd died in the real world.

And sure enough, after a few moments, Raito heard the pattern of L's breath switch slightly, and realized that the detective had come back to reality. After that, Raito could almost hear Ryuuzaki's shoulders falling even more than usual, at the realization that, indeed, Watari was dead.

A few moments later, Raito felt the pillows of the couch sink under him. He turned around slowly, trying to work the kinks out of his neck, and watched L shuffle ineffectively next to him, as though trying to make himself comfortable. Upon becoming aware of Raito's gaze, Ryuuzaki raised his eyes to the other man. The blue flicker of the computer screens made the shadows dance upon the detective's haggard sallow face.

"Sorry for the trouble, Raito-kun, but I must get some toffee."

This time Raito was careful enough to notice Ryuuzaki's unconscious use of his first name. It was the first time in all these days that L had called him 'Raito' – which only proved that the detective was more disoriented than he let show. It took a few moments of L's scrutinizing stare before Raito realized what the other man wanted.

"Oh…yes, of course." Ryuuzaki had asked Raito to follow him. They had made an agreement, after all, that they would act as though they were wearing handcuffs, even without actually wearing them.

So Raito stood up after the detective, and followed the other to the small mini-bar, which was adjacent to the sitting room. This was an expensive suite with a bar, after all. Ryuuzaki had claimed that they'd reside in hotels again until he could refurbish the Headquarters building.

It was very dark, so Raito took extra care not to stumble on someone's body as he walked – the most members of the investigation were lying in snoring bundles on the floor, littered around the room. Thankfully, Ryuuzaki's white shirt was a beacon for the computer radiation, and it helped Raito follow.

Finally they reached the mini-bar, and Ryuuzaki lost no time. He opened the fridge with the metallic door, and a golden glow immediately illuminated part of the room. Several sweet appetizers, including Ryuuzaki's various brands of pudding, were revealed. There was also some take-out sushi – rather tasty, this time – for the other members of the investigation and Raito to eat.

Raito watched Ryuuzaki's long white-clad arm bury itself in the fridge, hearing various shuffling sounds. He couldn't really see what was happing, since Ryuuzaki's kneeling form was hiding his view. Raito patiently waited for the detective to select the dessert of his choice, and then they could go back to their work, as usual.

But that wasn't what happened, this time.

Suddenly, Ryuuzaki's form jerked, standing back up. Raito heard the slam of the refrigerator door and carefully watched L's white back, covered at the top by tufts of barely discernible black hair.

"Ryuuzaki…?" Raito asked, straining not to let himself sound as perplexed as he was. What had happened to faze the cold detective so much?

"…there's no toffee." Ryuuzaki then declared, with an air even more rigid and toneless than usual. Raito was confused: Ryuuzaki had never been picky before. As far as Raito could recall, all the detective had ever wanted was for the food to be sweet – regardless of type.

"Well we'll order some more tomorrow." Raito answered carelessly, showing that he'd expected Ryuuzaki to realize this by himself "Until then, can't you have something else? We have to go back to work." after a few brief moments of watching the back of Ryuuzaki's silent black head, he saw the detective's shoulders bounce, as L turned to look at the fridge again. Raito was amazed to see the wide-eyed look of concentration on his face, a look he usually reserved for interrogating Raito. But now the detective was staring at the fridge as though it would offer the solution to the Kira case. What was going on? Had Ryuuzaki gone completely off his rocket at last?

"…yes. Fair enough." Ryuuzaki finally concluded and Raito suspiciously watched the detective bend his wrist to open the refrigerator door. Without even bothering to do another survey of the contents, L's long fingers randomly grabbed the first sweet thing they could latch onto – a white chocolate bar, as luck would have it – and closed the door gently.

Without a second glance at the offending piece of machinery, Ryuuzaki turned to Raito, as though expecting to hear something. When a few moments of unexplained and silent staring had passed, L walked again, passing by Raito and heading towards the computers. Raito followed quietly, wondering what the hell had gotten into the other, and whether it had anything to do with Watari. The moment he'd sat back on his couch, however, and came face to face with his computer screen, all other thoughts evaporated from Raito's head, and he devoted himself to his tasks once more.

The only other sign of life that came from Ryuuzaki was the crumpling sounds of paper chocolate wrapping, which he kept trying to remove in his awkward way of touching things. However, Raito was too focused on the job to truly weigh the other man's reactions.

Two days later, Raito suddenly remembered that Ryuuzaki had never ordered for more toffee, after all. Well so much for random cravings. Raito doubted it was ever about the toffee at all.

Seeing Ryuuzaki biting his thumb again, Raito thought it was probably about Watari, who would never be there to deliver the toffee again.

'Wonderful' Raito thought sourly, as he closed the thin book entitled "Measure for Measure". 'As if my own doubts weren't enough…now Ryuuzaki's trying to fuck with my brain as well.'

And, after a very long time, it was working. Ryuuzaki really was confusing Raito's thoughts.

"Measure for Measure", ordered not in Japanese translation but in the original Shakespearean language, was just as Ryuuzaki had said: "a play about justice". It was about Lord Angelo, the sanctimonious deputy of a Duke, who believed it proper to condemn people to death for the sin of fornication. Claudio, a gentleman, was then condemned to death by Angelo for having impregnated his fiancée. Seeing this, Claudio's pure sister, the novice Isabella, decided to go and plead for her brother's life to the heartless Lord Angelo. Ironically, the self-righteous Lord Angelo was revealed to be a hypocrite when he fell for Isabella, and blackmailed her into committing the sin of fornication with him to save her brother's life.

Raito caught Ryuuzaki's hunched figure from the corner of his eye, and strained to keep his face trained in a flawless mask of indifference.

Remembering L's words, the chestnut haired man leafed through the pages, until he reached the first scene of the second act. There, poised in fluid script in front of his eyes, he saw the character 'Escalus', an aristocrat adviser of the deputy, trying to change Lord Angelo's mind about condemning Claudio to death. In the text, Escalus prompted Lord Angelo to think of fornication as a human weakness. Had Lord Angelo been in Claudio's shoes, would he have thought it prudent to condemn a man to death for a sin as common and harmless as sexual contact? Angelo then answered swiftly that he would condemn himself to death if he was a fornicator, the irony being, of course, that when Angelo really will find himself in Claudio's shoes later, not only will he not condemn himself, but he will be revealed as a total hypocrite.

Reluctantly, Raito saw the comparisons that Ryuuzaki wanted him to draw. Ryuuzaki believed that Raito was Kira. And if Raito was Kira, then Kira, just like Lord Angelo, had retained the profile of a frigid impartial judge, condemning criminals without feeling empathy for their crime. And then – the great irony! – just like Lord Angelo who found himself under the whim of his human nature, Raito had also fallen victim to his human needs and committed a crime by raping Sayu. And after committing the crime, like Angelo, not only had Raito wanted to be punished by death, but he'd denied ever committing the crime in the first place.

What Ryuuzaki was trying to do, by showing him this, was to tell him that if he was Kira, then he was a hypocrite.

Under other circumstances, Raito would have rejected this piece of writing within minutes, dismissing it as a piece of fiction which was not applicable to Kira's idealistic goals and pragmatic situations. But, unfortunately for Raito, his own doubts had been plaguing him for far too long by now. The memory of Sayu's warm skin around his hips was still razor sharp, and the more he remembered it, the more he felt unfit to judge himself, much less other people.

The second act, that Ryuuzaki had wanted him to pay attention to, was laced with Lord Angelo's and Isabella's heated debates about whether fornication is a real sin, and whether or not a crime can be pardoned in some cases. For Raito, it all struck a bit too close to home.

Ryuuzaki, the absolute slime, must have known this, of course. This was probably why he was now watching Raito's every move like a hawk. If Raito gave any sign of anxiousness or disgruntlement, Ryuuzaki would take it as a sign that he was Kira. And rightly so, since only if Raito were Kira would the myth of this text bother him.

"Just as you said, Ryuuzaki" Raito suddenly spoke, obstinately keeping a small fake smile on his face "This play is to my liking. Not the best of Shakespeare's dramaturgical techniques, but it still tackles some interesting philosophical issues."

"I'm glad Yagami-kun thinks so." Ryuuzaki said, having dropped all pretence of looking at the computer screen and now staying openly focused on Raito's reactions, just as he did whenever they talked about Kira. "The characters' quest for justice gives the plotline some more depth."

"Indeed." Raito agreed, keen on not commenting on the text. However, Ryuuzaki would not let it rest.

"So what does Yagami-kun believe?" L asked, unwrapping the new – caramel coloured – lollipop that he took in his hands "Was Lord Angelo correct to judge others with such severity?"

But Raito, having completed a heated debate of eleven hours with a demon, had developed a brain so accustomed to the ambivalence of arguments that he was prepared to use Ryuuzaki's game against him. Besides, the theme of the play itself was unclear on this point.

"Well" Raito began, surprised to realize that, somewhere deep inside him, he was enjoying this discussion "Despite the fact that it could easily be claimed that Angelo later acted as a hypocrite to save his own skin, his initial goals to promote justice were noble. Listen to this, for example." He flipped to the correct page, and began to read Angelo's words toward Escalus.

"'Tis one thing to be tempted (Escalus)

Another thing to fall: I not deny

The jury passing on the prisoner's life

May in the sworn twelve have a thief, or two

Guiltier than him they try; what's open made to Justice,

That Justice seizes; what knows the Laws

That thieves do pass on thieves? 'Tis very pregnant,

The jewel that we find, we stoop, and take't,

Because we see it; but what we do not see,

We tread upon and never think of it.

You may not so extenuate his offence,

For I have had such faults …"(1)

Raito concluded his recitation and looked at Ryuuzaki, who was tapping his thumb against his lower lip. Then, the detective spoke "Well, Raito-kun?" he asked, with narrowed eyes "Is it not hypocritical of Angelo not to apply his own rules to himself later in the play? Even though he spawns self-righteous ideals, his actions prove that he is willing to bypass belief in order to save his reputation, and his life."

Raito narrowed his eyes as well, catching Ryuuzaki's implications at once. It wasn't only about the way Raito had raped Sayu, but about the way Kira had killed Lind Taylor and all the FBI agents, and all the other innocents just to save himself. But it still wasn't the same thing. Angelo was a clear hypocrite, centralizing his attention on his own reputation. Kira had not been like that – he'd done everything for the common good.

"Even so, Ryuuzaki, you can't deny that Angelo's initial outlook on things, which I just read, is sensible." He concluded "If we always worried about the moral state of the jury, then there could be no trial. Justice can only be applied in crimes that are made common knowledge. Regardless of the skeletons a judge may have in his closet, that does not mean that he is unable to attribute justice according to a law."

"Yes, Raito-kun" Ryuuzaki countered in seconds "But 'what knows the Laws that thieves do pass on thieves'?" he quoted, staring at Raito with rapt attention.

"Regardless of the effectiveness of the Laws themselves" Raito said, shutting the book and staring Ryuuzaki down "The history of law has proved that a sense of justice can only be created when a common law – however flawed – is followed. And so, the 'obvious jewels', or crimes that come to the open can be 'picked up', or judged, regardless of the judge's own faults. After all, as long as we don't see a vice, we 'tread upon and never think of it', as often happens with the vices of judges." Raito quoted back, not believing he was actually supporting the very system of laws he had scorned all his life, just to convince himself – not Ryuuzaki, but primarily himself –that Kira's actions were justified.

"In this way, a judge may be much guiltier than the accused criminal. But as long as his crimes cannot be revealed…he cannot be judged." The auburn-haired man finished.

A small silence followed, during which Raito watched Ryuuzaki's eyes lose focus. Obviously, he was internally evaluating Raito's reactions as compared to Kira's reactions. Unfortunately, having become impassioned with getting his arguments across, only now did Raito realize that his attitude might have let show his inner confusion and verify his identity as Kira. Deciding to amend this, the suspect decided he should present the faulty side of Angelo as well, to convince Ryuuzaki that he did not intend to support Kira/Angelo in any way. This reminded Raito very much of the tennis match they'd shared, in the sense that he didn't know if it would be more suspicious to beat Ryuuzaki's arguments or let himself lose to them.

"But overall" he finally stated, in a completely calm manner " I think Ryuuzaki is correct." He steadily said, hoping to throw Ryuuzaki off balance.

"In what way?" the detective was quick to ask for specification, the calculations of percentages having overcome his brain by now.

"As you said, he is, after all, a…hypocrite." Raito tried not to show that there was a lump in his throat "When it comes to his own survival, he's swift to reject all ideals. Even though he told Escalus, in the same speech, that he'd like to be judged with parity…that was a complete, outright lie. He was completely afraid to be judged in the same way he'd judged others-"

A flash of Ryuuku, smiling and writing the lonesome words 'Yagami Light' on a single yellow page, attacked Raito's consciousness with force. His jaw clicked as he shut it, and then opened it again.

"In the end no one respected him." He concluded, and realized that, for some reason, his eyes had become slightly unfocused. He found himself staring at Ryuuzaki's shoulder instead of Ryuuzaki's eyes.

Wow, he thought sarcastically. What a fantastic job of dispelling L's suspicions. With his little dramatic show of self-hate, he'd probably provoked Ryuuzaki's intrigue more than ever.

However, he was surprised to note that the detective didn't pounce on this opportunity to assault Raito's weak spot. Instead, when Ryuuzaki spoke again, his voice had a very subtle quality of pensiveness to it.

"It was rather obvious that this would happen from the beginning of the play" Ryuuzaki steadily said, and his indifferent stance somehow infuriated Raito more than anything else. "As the Duke said before he left Angelo as his deputy, 'a man's virtues are useless when he keeps them to himself'. They only become important when he uses them to improve others. Men like Angelo, who are extremely focused on their own propriety, are character stereotypes." L turned toward Raito, piercing him in the eyes "The kind of character who is too meticulous about his own virtue, obviously has an inner vice that he needs to hide."

Was Ryuuzaki…insulting him? Was Raito been called a character stereotype? Was Raito expected to feel assaulted?

But Raito had another thing coming. Instead of indignation, he'd portray calm geniality, and twist L's argument around.

"That's true, isn't it, Ryuuzaki. We often meet this kind of vicious character in literature…" Raito started, trying to restrain the slightly maniacal grin that he knew was threatening to surface on his face "But what about the Duke himself? He disguises himself as a priest and begins lurking in the shadows, reveling in manipulating others. The pivot of irony in the play is when the Duke calls Angelo a hypocrite. What's the purpose of his character, do you think?"

"The Duke's character…" Ryuuzaki's body suddenly stopped moving, and only his lips appeared to be alive "…exists to prove that Angelo's convictions are nothing but an illusion."

Raito's eyes narrowed, and his knuckles became white.

"Angelo only starts becoming vicious when the Duke leaves the city. When Angelo believes he has become all-powerful and that no one can repudiate his hypocrisy…the Duke is revealed." It was becoming obvious to Raito, by Ryuuzaki's words, that more than one parallel was at work in this play "And in this way, the man who believed himself to be powerful falls from grace. His greatest punishment is this public falsification of his beliefs."

Raito waited a few moments, showing no reaction, until finally, he decided to say one last thing.

"In my opinion" he started, leaving the book on a nearby armchair and standing up to stretch his legs "it isn't only Angelo who's a hypocrite. The Duke is the greatest hypocrite of all."

"Definitely" Ryuuzaki's voice rang, unexpectedly. Raito was taken aback and turned around to watch the other, in spite of himself. Did Ryuuzaki realize that he was practically calling himself a hypocrite? What-?

"But unlike Angelo, he never tries to lie about it to himself." The detective concluded. Raito stared at him for a few moments. Then he stood up slowly, walking steadily toward the bar, always staying in Ryuuzaki's vision, and pouring himself a drink. "I take it the Duke is your favourite character then?" he asked, muffling his sigh. This constant doubt about Kira was destroying him on the inside. He almost wished he could be thrown to the Hands again. At least back then he'd had an identity. He had steady beliefs, that could not be swayed by anyone's words. He had a sense of self.

Now, who was he? What was he? What was right for him to be, in order to make all the evil claims a lie?

"Favourite?" Ryuuzaki repeated, uttering the word as though it was completely foreign. It occurred to Raito that Ryuuzaki would probably have no favourites in anything. "Well I have no particular preference…but I appreciate the Duke's cerebral creativity, as opposed to Angelo's stale self-denial."

Raito realized that if he said anything at this point to defend himself, he could only make things worse. Thus, he shut his mouth quite practically, by shoving a gulp of Bordeaux down his throat. He cursed his luck that the others had all gone out on errands, and that he was forced to deal with Ryuuzaki tête-à-tête. For once, he really didn't need Ryuuzaki – or all people – to tell him about his own problems. He had his own thoughts to thank for that.

Raito let his backbone rest against the edge of the bar, leaning his elbows and head backwards and stretching. With his left hand, he shook the glass of blood-red wine in lazy circles. He was actually surprised to hear Ryuuzaki speak again, completely lost as he was in his own musings.

"On the other hand, however" the detective's voice rang clear, and Raito felt more than saw Ryuuzaki turn towards the computer monitors again "Without Angelo there would be no plot."

Seven weeks. Seven endless weeks, before Raito seriously started to wonder whether or not this would be his new life. Was he being given a second chance?

After all this time, he was almost starting to go mad. And it was neither because of Ryuuzaki's constant jabs nor by the fact that he hadn't slept in six days straight. It was the realization that this could indeed be his new reality. Would he be trapped here for eternity? With Ryuuzaki. Fighting Kira. It was more pathetic than Raito had cared to think.

"Ryuuzaki…" he spoke, slurring his words slightly. It was one of those few times that he truly couldn't hold on any longer, even though he wanted to. He'd long since finished the computer program, and was now occupied with classifying the deaths of victims in terms of race, sex, criminal background, etc, but it was impossible to focus anymore. He'd held on fine for all this time, but he inevitably needed some sleep.

"Yes, Yagami-kun." The detective's voice flowed patiently, as L's face twisted around to see Raito, fallen in a heap over the desktop. They were at a new hotel this week, and the room was stuffier than usual, unfortunately. However, Raito wouldn't let that stop him.

"I need to sleep…" Raito said, and, in his own opinion, he sounded as though he was already asleep "Do you want anything or can I go now?"

Ryuuzaki thought for a few seconds and then spoke "I'm fine."

"Good…" Raito whispered imperceptibly, letting his head collapse on the side of the couch. The second after he dropped his eyelids, he fell asleep immediately, knowing with a small sense of deja-vu that when he'd wake up, he'd find Ryuuzaki in exactly the same place he'd left him.

After five and a half hours of completely unconscious sleep, Raito opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the flowery green velvet pattern of the couch. Then he felt the insistent tap on his shoulder again, and groaned lightly.

"Nng…" he wined, eager to fall back to black, restful oblivion. But luck was not on his side that day.

"Yagami-kun, I need to use the bathroom." Ryuuzaki's entirely too annoying voice assaulted Raito's grumpy ears.

"Oh, for fuck's sake…can't you just go? I'm not going anywhere…" Raito muttered, not too aware of how childish he sounded. But any action of his was excusable, under the circumstances. He hadn't slept for six days, for goodness' sake! Ryuuzaki ought to at least let him rest. Waking someone up in the middle of a sleep as deep as Raito's could merit much worse reactions, Raito thought a bit indignantly. Ryuuzaki should be grateful he'd gotten away with just a whine.

"Yagami-kun…" the warning tone inevitably came, and Raito sighed, sitting up. Everything ached. Ironically, he hadn't realized he'd been so tired before he'd actually fallen asleep. And now the only thing he wanted was to fall asleep again – he felt like he'd been run over by a bus. But Ryuuzaki was as unrelenting as usual, and he tugged on Raito's dark blue jumper a bit more insistently.

"Fine, fine…" Raito murmured, standing up. His knees buckled and he almost collapsed, but held himself steady on the nearby mantelpiece. With the air of a dog which is forced to enter the house after a walk outside, Raito mechanically dragged his aching legs after Ryuuzaki's naked feet. When they finally reached the bathroom, Raito leaned against the corridor wall and Ryuuzaki walked inside. When the wooden door shut, Raito started the classic ritual: tapping the door with Morse signals every few seconds, spelling 'I'm here'.

'Seriously' Raito thought, with a spiteful annoyance he hadn't experienced in quite a long time 'I've never met another idiot like him. He wakes me up just to drag me a few feet further? Honestly. Of course 'I'm here'…where the hell else would I be…? What an idiot…'

He heard the telltale sound of the toilet flushing, and the subsequent noise of the water tap. Lethargically, Raito indulged himself in daydreaming about the soft plush surface of the sofa's pillows. He couldn't wait to return to Morpheus's embrace. Feeling annoyed, he tapped 'I'm half asleep' instead of 'I'm here' with Morse on the door.

Thankfully, a few seconds after he'd tapped the last message, the door opened and Ryuuzaki walked outside, with water droplets dripping from the edges of his jaw. Raito, having caught himself at the last minute from falling face-first on the bathroom floor when the door opened, automatically supported himself on the wall.

Raito moved towards the living room, heading for the couch, but was jolted when he saw Ryuuzaki scoot toward the bar. Desperately trying to stop himself from grumpling, Raito followed. Just as Ryuuzaki went searching the cupboards for new sweets, Raito raised his palm to his nape, massaging his taunt muscles, until he heard a satisfying cracking sound.

With a small, imperceptible sigh of bliss, Raito lowered his hand, just in time to see the annoying detective approach him, with a couple of pink cupcakes in his hands.

"Anything else?" Raito asked with slight sarcasm, surprised by the thickness of his own voice. Was he really that tired?

"Sorry for waking you, Yagami-kun."

But Raito's anger and annoyance had largely deflated, and now the only thing he wanted was to return to a state of suspended mental animation. It wasn't Ryuuzaki's fault if Raito hadn't taken care to sleep, anyway. Unable to focus on anything for two long, he just shook his auburn head carelessly and started finally walking toward the living room, hearing the satisfying sound of Ryuuzaki's feet sinking in the suite carpet come from behind.

And he'd just passed the arch of the door that led to the drawing room, when he suddenly paused, eyes wide open and fully focused. Suddenly, all thoughts of sleep and rest completely evaporated, and he now felt more aware than ever. Immediately, he took a step backwards, grabbing the sides of the doorframe for support. He felt a light pressure on his back and realized he'd most likely collided with L. The thought of all those cupcakes staining his neat pullover did not even pass through the auburn haired man's brain. At the moment, he could only think of one thing.

"Ryuuzaki" he called, with an uncharacteristically urgent voice. "What the hell is that?" he pointed at the thing, which was hanging from the ceiling, hovering directly above where Raito's head would be if he were sleeping on the couch.

"What are you talking about?" Ryuuzaki asked with unusual incomprehension. Obviously, he was still trying to salvage his sweets from being splattered against Raito's body. Then, Raito felt a small tickle against his back and realized that Ryuuzaki was looking over his right shoulder, as was his wont. "The doll?"

Raito turned around within seconds, grabbing Ryuuzaki's shoulders automatically and shaking the other man until the cupcakes fell to putty on the floor "What's it doing here?" he asked, sounding hoarser than he wanted but unable to contain himself.

"Calm down, Raito-kun. You were the one who wanted it here, remember?" Ryuuzaki jerked himself out of Raito's grasp with one fluid motion, kneeling to mourn the loss of his sweets. Raito was left, standing there, trying to reason out what he'd just heard.

In the meantime, their voices had awoken the other members of the investigation, who were now slowly coming to their senses.

"Ryuuzaki, I'm serious." Raito kept his voice low and deadly calm, kneeling next to the detective and staring at him straight in the eye "How did that thing suddenly appear?"

The marionette, with its golden long curls and its frilly dress, was smiling demonically from above them, its crystal eyes fully focused on Raito's every move. Frantically, Raito shot his eyes around the room to spot a wooden clock. However, he could see nothing of the sort. There was only the marionette, with its insistent smile turned to Raito, which always brought misfortune. Much like Misa herself, actually.

"It's been here ever since we arrived five days ago. Did you just notice it?" L spoke steadily, standing back up and looking at Raito, not without a hue of curiosity in his gaze usually expressionless face. Suddenly, Raito felt scrutinized, pressured by all angles.

That thing was back here. He'd let his guard down in this world, forgetting it was actually a hallucination. A horrible hallucination, designed to torture him. And now the puppet had appeared again, more impending and threatening than ever. What would it make him see this time? What would it make him do?

And once again, judging from L's and even Richards's utterly uncomprehending faces, Raito was all alone. No one would understand, even if he tried to explain the situation. Because none of these people were real…they were hallucinations. No, they were part of the greater hallucination. A hallucination intended as his own personal torture, it seems. Who knows what would happen this time? As if his own current self-hate was not enough! What more did they want from him? What could possibly be worse than what had already happened?

Raito looked at Ryuuzaki's black hair, and could almost taste them in his mouth. Suddenly, he could think of a dozen worse things.

He turned around again, looking at the smiling, sardonic, Misa-shaped demon. Even though it wasn't five o'clock in the morning – it was seven – the marionette was staring right back at him, smiling at him with its satanic grin. There was no clock around, no countdown. And the doll was staring right at him, with its smile wider and more threatening than usual.

Even though he hadn't laid a hand on it.

"Horrid little thing, isn't it?" Raito heard some female member of the investigation team comment from the side, but paid no more notice.

At least before, he'd been given a choice: to touch it or not. But now…now doom would come to him, whether he went looking for it or not. It was inevitable.

Just like the Hands had been.

Ever since he'd first laid eyes on it, Raito had galvanized to action. He wasn't even trying to hide his constant anxiety, at some point, having forgotten why it was important to be composed. His first move was to demand that Ryuuzaki allow them to work in another room, as far away from the puppet as possible.

Needless to say that Ryuuzaki regarded him with no small amount of suspicion, and some barely disguised confusion.

"Are you unsettled by a doll, Yagami-kun?" he'd asked without preamble, keeping his voice in a flat monotone that suggested he was not trying to mock Raito, but to understand him. The rest of the investigation team didn't see it quite like that, however, since Raito had heard various small chuckles coming from corners of the room.

Suddenly coming back to his senses, Raito steeled his nerves. He could not allow himself to show he was afraid like this. Even if he had to put up with the satanic figure, he'd persevere. After all, it may be a good idea to stay close to it and observe it's reactions – he might notice something special about it, which would help him escape the torture loop.

"…never mind…I don't care." Raito stated, trying to ignore the glassy marionette eyes he could feel on the back of his head. He strained himself to stop thinking about it and focus on Ryuuzaki, but he must have focused a bit too hard at some point, since he saw L stare at him a bit curiously. Of course, it would never show on Ryuuzaki's face that he was taken aback, but Raito could understand it by the way L kept blinking – an action he rarely did in Raito's presence.

And so it was settled. Raito sat down on the couch, directly below the puppet. This was officially the closest he had ever come to it, excluding the times he had touched it. Sitting there underneath it, he fancied he could almost feel it's eyes on him. He thought he could hear, from some faraway place, the distinctive screech of metal rubbing against metal. As though a prisoner, somewhere, was dragging his chains on the ground. It was a fleeting, muted sound, and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end.

The walls and lights around now unexplainably seemed less warm than before, and all the artificial comfort Raito had built for himself the last few days dissipated within seconds. Everything around him was tinged in a blue hue, even Ryuuzaki's fire-red candy and all the sounds of speech from the other humans appeared slightly subdued. The faraway, horrible screeching sound was the most prominent element in Raito's consciousness.

He turned around slowly, watching L from the corner of his eye. The detective, as usual, was typing with one hand and sipping on a cup of hyper-sugared tea with the other. He seemed absorbed in his work, unaware of any sounds or changes in the atmosphere. Obviously, Raito was the only one who could register these changes, just as he was the only one who could see the demonic nature of the doll.

Was he… finally going insane, then?

Unable to stop himself, he sunk deeper in his seat and heaved an entirely too audible sigh. A small shuffle from his left attracted his attention, and he saw Ryuuzaki turn around to watch him. L had some crusted sugar stuck on his chin, which made his wide-eyed serious stare seem a tad ridiculous.

"Are you all right, Yagami-kun?" L started, holding his teaspoon in his distinctive way and using it to mix yet more sugar cubes in the abused tea. "You've been acting strange."

No other mention of the doll had been made, and Raito assumed that Ryuuzaki had not noticed that this marionette was completely identical to the one they'd had at the Headquarters' building. Obviously, he was the only one it this world who could see these dolls and understand them for what they were. Judging from the fact that L had not yet somehow connected Misa to the puppet, it was safe to say that there was absolutely no excuse why the doll was here in the first place. L and the others seemed to accept its presence as a token reality, not questioning anything.

Raito wasn't quite as blissfully ignorant.

He opened his mouth, not really knowing what he wanted to say. On the one hand he wanted to talk about the doll, but on the other he knew it was useless. Ryuuzaki would never understand – he didn't have the capacity. And with every moment that passed, Raito could feel the gaze of those glassy eyes pierce his skull completely – the thing was watching him…something was going to happen. Something horrible. He could feel it…and he had to do something!

"Well I-" Raito started saying, but he didn't manage to finish his phrase, since he was interrupted by the ring of a phone from somewhere in the back of the room. It distracted Ryuuzaki, who turned to the direction of the muttering voices.

"Ryouga, we just received a call from Inspector Ogasawara." Murray told Ryuuzaki, using his alias. Murray was the new equivalent of Watari, in the sense that he served as Ryuuzaki's connection to the rest of the world. When the Japanese police and the Interpol wanted to contact L, it was Murray they called. The only difference that Murray had with Watari was that he was about twenty years younger, half-American and obsessed with mahjong.

"They recovered a body from the higher floors of the Headquarters' building and they want our help in identifying it."

Ryuuzaki lost no time. He took the proffered cellphone and held it a few inches away from his ear, in his usual bizarre manner.

"Hello Inspector." He said, and Raito was partly relieved he wasn't forced to speak anymore. On the other hand, despite grateful for the distraction, he was quite curious as to why the police was calling them. They had already recovered the corpses from the Headquarters, hadn't they? Souichirou Yagami's funeral had been conducted whilst Raito had been in the hospital. The same went for Matsuda and the others…Raito had thought that L had completely abandoned the HQ building after the earthquake. He had never heard Ryuuzaki say that the investigations and search for corpses were being continued. What new body had they just found?

Raito had noticed that Murray had called L 'Ryouga' and not 'Ryuuzaki' in front of the police, which implied that the Inspector on the other end of the line had met L as 'Ryouga Hideki' and not as 'L' or 'Ryuuzaki'. What exactly was going on here?

" I see." Ryuuzaki's voice sounded, and Raito watched him carefully. There was complete silence in the room, as the rest of the team intently and tactlessly listened in on Ryuuzaki's conversation as well. "And where is he now?" the detective asked, his eyes carrying the usual unfocused quality of a person speaking on the phone.

"Ah…Then we'll come to visit this evening."

'Visit?'

Ryuuzaki was actually planning to exit the building? This must be serious.

L pulled the phone away and carefully pressed the red button, ending the call. He then proceeded to hand the phone back to Murray, without granting any explanations. After the conversation was over, everyone went back to their work, looking completely nonplussed. All except Raito, who was still trying to understand exactly what new scheme Ryuuzaki had been planning.

"What was that all about, Ryuuzaki?" he asked, thinking that a direct approach was in order and watching L carefully unwrap a cherry-flavoured icicle. Raito wasn't really expecting a straight answer, so he was surprised to receive one.

"As Ryouga Hideki, I told the police to notify me if they ever had any progress with finding anyone in the old HQ building. It seems they've recovered Watari's body and want me to go identify it." He simply said, with a voice too toneless and disinterested to be normal.

But Raito didn't comment. He didn't think it necessary, since he was still busy processing what Ryuuzaki had said. Obviously, Ryuuzaki had forged a new personality for Watari as well, if he was so relaxed about identifying the old man's corpse. Raito waited a few seconds and then nodded simply.

"I'm very sorry for your loss. In which police station have they taken him?" he asked, not expressing further condolences. He knew that Ryuuzaki would see through his hypocrisy if he even attempted to act more sorry than he really was. And making Ryuuzaki more suspicious was not an option.

"It's in downtown Tokyo." The detective answered, devoting himself to typing once more.

"And am I going with you over there later?" he asked, feeling the intense need to escape the marionette-infested room immediately. But at the same time, he was worried about the possible horrible occurrences that may take place in the next few hours.

After all, this situation was just as unusual as an earthquake...and Raito had learned by now that these rapidly changing critical situations had never served his interests, in the long term. His pulse increased upon this realization, and he suddenly wished that Ryuuzaki would not take him along after all. But it didn't seem he'd have a choice in the matter after all, since Ryuuzaki gave the verdict.

"You'll come with us downtown and you'll stay under surveillance in the car, with Zania and the others, while I'm at the police station." Ryuuzaki said, looking a tad displeased at the fact that he'd have to relinquish personal surveillance of Raito, even for a little while.

But it was extremely unusual for L to give up control over Raito so easily. Ryuuzaki must not have wanted to go see Watari's body together with Raito. It was either that, or…or Ryuuzaki's sudden acquiescence was due to something else.

Raito clearly remembered the relatively uncharacteristic speed with which Ryuuzaki had accepted Sayu in the HQ, that day before the earthquake. Ryuuzaki's current attitude reminded Raito of the very same thing: L was acting…slightly unnatural. Albeit he wasn't being strange on the outside, Raito knew Ryuuzaki better than any other, and he could swear that Ryuuzaki would never accept letting Raito out of his sight…

Raito's eyes narrowed covertly, as he stared at his blank laptop screen. He could feel the doll's eyes drilling into the back of his head, and realizing his fingers were shaking a bit. He stopped himself hastily, before Ryuuzaki noticed his strange behaviour.

He hadn't touched it at all today, had he? Not even by accident. There was no way he could have touched the doll and provoked a new catastrophe…He told himself not to worry. It was just a coincidence that Ryuuzaki had some errands to run in Tokyo that day. Everything would turn out fine, and they'd be back in the hotel room by sundown…

But even though he reassured himself, he was unable to keep his eyes from slipping to the clock every few minutes. He didn't want that evening to come.

There was a small part of him that appreciated the irony of the situation: even though he'd spent his living years wishing Ryuuzaki would stop hunting him and disappear from the face of the earth, now it was the reassuring routine of living with the same Ryuuzaki that Raito preferred over all other alternatives.

Zania was a Brazilian mercenary, with the kind of pneumatic musculature that would put the local gym to shame; a rather unsocial man, who gave Raito the impression that he'd be more communicative with a Kalashnikov than his own mouth. More than once in the last half hour, Raito had wondered whether or not Ryuuzaki was trying to make a statement by leaving him in the limo with a man like Zania as his guard.

Yukiya Tachibana, another agent of their team, was also in the car, complete with black business suit and black tinted sunglasses. Had Raito been a lesser man, Tachibana would have reminded him of those people usually hosted in bad game shows. He was short, he was porky and he was only good in organizing files, but still he believed himself to be the coolest person alive.

At least all these small details served as minor distractions for Raito, who'd been under pressure ever since that morning. His much needed sleep had not only eluded him, but completely evaporated from the moment he saw the marionette's cold smile. Now his nerves were strung so tightly that sleep seemed like an unreachable dream.

He looked at the empty seat beside him, reserved exclusively for Ryuuzaki. Raito noticed the telltale sugar cubes that were stuffed in a plastic bag on the corner of L's seat, and realized that the car practically reeked of Ryuuzaki. Not to mention, of course, the small digital camera that was stuck on the back of Zania's seat, pointing straight at Raito's face. After L came back, he would take the camera and carefully observe the recorded video, making sure that the suspect had made no suspicious movements while he was away.

Murray had also come with them, but he'd accompanied Ryuuzaki to the police station instead of staying in the car. This was reasonable, Raito thought, since Murray was now supposed to be Ryuuzaki's right hand man in Watari's place…however strange and absurd that sounded.

Where was Ryuuzaki, anyway…? Wasn't he a bit late? It had almost been forty minutes since he left. And with each minute that passed, the more nervous Raito became. In a desperate effort to get distracted and calm down, he tried to listen to Zania and Tahibana's conversation. After all, one could watch the glowing neon Tokyo lights for so long until he got bored.

" – ot springs, but the missus wants to go to a day spa…you know how it is." Tachibana was saying, and Raito almost rolled his eyes at the idleness of these people. Instead of talking about Kira, like Souichirou and Mogi would have done, they were preoccupied with completely insignificant matters.

Zania gave a grunt of acknowledgement at the corpulent man's words, and made no other sign of having heard. Apparently, he too shared Raito's thoughts on the quality of Tachibana's subject matter.

"In any case, if the situation continues with the Kira investigation, I don't think we'll be going anywhere this summer. Don't you?" Tachibana continued, removing his sunglasses from his face and starting to meticulously wipe them on the lapel of his suit. Why was he wearing black sunglasses when the sky was already pitch dark? He'd probably wanted to be Yakuza, Raito thought with sarcasm, but was forced to come work for L when the Yakuza kicked him out. The sunglasses were probably the next cool thing – Raito wouldn't really now, since he wasn't that much of a fashion person. Sure, he liked to stay presentable and neat, but he always selected classic clothes, of diachronic style.

Zania groaned again, obviously bored to tears of his partner's idle chatter.

"Maybe we should put some music on?" Tachibana suggested, and Raito saw Zania's wide shoulders shrug. Tachibana stretched his hand and was just about to press the 'power' button of Ryuuzaki's Dolby Digital stereo, when the car suddenly moved. Violently.

All three of them froze.

"What the hell was that?" Tachibana immediately asked, whipping his head around and making his inordinate amount of adipose tissue move like a tidal wave around his torso.

Zania's heavy voice suddenly echoed, startling in its low bass "Kid, did you do anything?"

Raito had also sat up by now, staring around and trying to see outside the filtered black windows. "No-" he started, but never had a chance to conclude his statement, since a tapping sound interrupted him. All three of them turned around in unison to see a man standing there, tapping on their window. He couldn't have been more than thirty years old and looked completely normal, like any other Japanese businessman who frequents this part of town.

Zania, who was sitting on the driver's seat on the right side of the car, gave a sound of annoyance as he lowered his window. "What now?" he muttered. The businessman held his briefcase tightly in his one hand and waved at them with the other.

"Pardon me…but…I seem to have lost my way…" he said, his voice little more than a mousy whine. Raito narrowed his eyes, wondering why a man would ask a limo driver for directions, even if there weren't so many pedestrians around – the police department was only a few blocks away.

And where the hell was L, anyway? What could be taking so long?

"What are you looking for?" Tachibana asked, leaning toward Zania's window and almost causing his seat belt to snap in two. If he could see what they were doing to his lovely classic Mercedes-Benz, Watari would surely start rolling in his…well, he didn't technically have a grave yet, did he?

"Well, it's a road called…"

The mousy person's voice faded away, as Raito reposed back in his seat. The camera jutted rudely in his vision, and he restrained himself from covering it with his palm. If he did, then Ryuuzaki would consider it a suspicious gesture. So Raito leaned his head backwards and tried to soothe his nerves. In fact, he had almost succeeded in calming down by now. All he needed was to go back to the hotel and-

"What…?" he suddenly muttered, noticing a dark shape moving outside Tachibana's window. Raito's eyes, with extreme velocity, analyzed the given situation: Tachibana and Zania appeared completely absorbed in what the lost pedestrian was telling them. They weren't paying attention to what was happening around them….

Oh no!

"Behind you!" Raito warned loudly, addressing both Tachibana and Zania. For a few milliseconds, Tachibana turned a perplexed stare at his direction. But he was too late.

It all happened in seconds. Tachibana's door was jerked open, forcefully, and two gloved hands dived inside, grabbing the Tachibana's head and shoving a suspiciously coloured piece of fabric in the porky agent's nose. For a few moments, Raito had thought Tachibana was dead, but then he'd realized the man had just fallen unconscious. But Raito didn't have any time to react as he saw the mousy businessman, who'd been asking for directions, with his greasy hair and multiple warts, produce an identical piece of green fabric and shove it in Zania's face, before the huge man had time to register what was happening.

'The police!' Raito instantly thought, but then realized that, even though they were in the same neighbourhood, they weren't close enough to the station to be seen by the officers.

"Quick!" a gruff voice barked, and Raito saw Tachibana's massive figure be drawn out of the car. He couldn't see clearly, since the leather seats of the car covered most his vision, but he supposed Tachibana had been knocked out by whatever poison or hypnotic essence was in that fabric that had been shoved in his face. Now he'd been dropped to the pavement like a sack of potatoes.

The greasy pedestrian opened the driver's door and pulled Zania's body out, letting it crumble like the inflated balloon that it was. Raito was so paralyzed – he had never been present in a crime that he hadn't organized with the Death Note by himself – that he couldn't think clearly.

Finally, when he saw that they were trying to get in the car, he realized that this was not about the agents. It was about the limo: this was a burglary. A grand theft auto in a small Tokyo parking lot.

Galvanized by his realization, Raito lunged for the car door, believing that they'd let him go free if they were only after the car. Frantically, before they'd get the chance to stop him, he practically squeezed the door handle open. He pushed the door with all his might, uncaring whether or not he'd dislodge it from its hinges, intent on escaping quickly…

…but just as he thought he would open it, he met some sort of resistance. Slowly, with unnamed trepidation, he raised his auburn eyes.

There was a man there, holding his door with a steel grip. He was tall and wiry, with haphazardly chopped stubble all over his jaw, white scars marring his cheeks and oily long dark hair dangling over his eyes. He had a cigarette balanced in his mouth, and another one behind his ear. The smoke slithered upwards, encircling his black slits of eyes. His lanky frame was covered with some argentine tacky necklaces, a filthy Hawaiian short-sleeved shirt and a set of jeans. ….and his appearance was absolutely repulsive.

"Goin' somewhere?" he asked, with a yellow-toothed, derisive smirk and a colloquial accent. Raito was temporarily startled and lost his momentum. Before he knew it, he felt a solid grip grab the front of his blazer and hoist him upwards. The filthy man's ugly face came nauseatingly close, and Raito was overwhelmed by the sudden smell of sweat and pungent alcohol. His face must have shown his disorientation, since the man snorted, blowing smoke into Raito's face. The younger man coughed, inevitably, making the stranger leer.

"Interesting" he said, and used his hand, which was fisted in Raito's clothing, to shove the auburn-haired man back into the car. As Raito was manhandled, the back of his head collided with the window, and he felt a wave of dizziness overcome him. He then experienced the feeling of another body being pressed against him, the sound of car doors slamming, and the characteristic song of an engine coming to life.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the voice of the mousy impostor was heard, and Raito tried to swallow, open his eyes and understand what he was hearing "Throw the kid out!"

"No…" another voice, much slower and more relaxed echoed, and Raito felt chills climb up his spine just by the sound of it. "I like him."

"Are you fucking crazy!? We can't just-" the first voice was back, more infuriated than before.

The sound of sirens suddenly broke through the distance. The few pedestrians might have witnessed the robbery after all…

"Whatever! Fuck it! Leave him!" a third and much more brutal voice, which Raito didn't identify "Just drive!!!"

They were leaving…and he…they were taking him with them?

No!

Raito was dizzy, but he could still see and smell the filthy man who was crammed next to him on the back seat. Feeling his head pound, Raito touched the door to steady himself, noticing that the robbers had locked it to ensure he would not escape easily. As he floundered for support, his palm touched something soft and he looked downwards in confusion. He could see, resting firmly in his hand, a small plastic bag of multi-coloured sugar cubes. Of course, he was sitting in Ryuuzaki's seat…

Ryuuzaki…it all seemed like a dream now…

Of course! Ryuuzaki!

These idiots had involuntarily stolen the car of the greatest detective in the world!

Ryuuzaki had a camera in the car! That was it- they were done for…!

It was only a few seconds of glee before Raito realized that the camera's presence was completely useless, when the car was still in the hands of the burglars. Unless Ryuuzaki had also rigged the car with GPS tracking devices, the car would not be found so easily.

Raito tried to see where the thieves were headed, which roads they were passing and which turns they'd made, in an effort to understand how he could escape. But it was a lost cause, since he eventually became extremely disoriented. They were using some obscure alleys and unknown paths…it would be impossible for Raito to trace this labyrinth of roads.

But Raito wasn't left to ponder these thoughts for much longer, since he suddenly felt an offending hand grab his nape, out of the blue.

"You know we're going to have much fun, you and I." He felt a scorching whisper burn his right earlobe and almost gasped from the horrible smell of the other man's breath.

"Ugh…" Unable to process, let alone believe what he'd just heard, he raised his hand and tried to pluck the slimy creature's paws off his neck. But the other was stronger, and his grip was unrelenting. He brought his other hand to stop Raito from struggling, and the chestnut-haired man belatedly realized that he was now practically enveloped in the other man's limbs.

Frantic at his new realization, he flailed his forearms around, trying to punch any exposed part of skin he could find.

"Oi, shut him up, would you?" the gruffer man of the three, the one sitting in the passenger's seat, calmly said. The mousy bastard, who was driving the car, didn't even bother with speaking, preoccupied as he was with escaping the ever-fading sirens.

"Shhhh…" Raito heard a sibilant hiss in his ear, and the alcohol-laced hotness of the air blown on his face made him flinch. But no matter how much he writhed, the other man would not let go. "We're having fun, aren't we?" Horrified, Raito realized that the other man had taken his head in his hands and started petting him. Seeing red, he started trying to hit the man's abdomen or genitals with his elbow, but it was impossible to get the chance to strike.

Raito was a strong man and good at fighting, but the restrictive quarters of the car were a great disadvantage. He could barely see straight, let alone fight with his normal prowess. As his nostrils were filled with the disgusting scent that emanated from all the oily pores of the other man's unwashed skin, he thought he heard something, like a vague sound of metal dragging against metal.

He'd heard that sound before, hadn't he…? A very vague sound, almost muted in the distance…That sound….

The marionette…

And suddenly, an entirely too powerful realization hit him.

With renewed fervour, and now perfectly aware of what this situation may be leading to, he started struggling. And there was no Sayu around, this time. The only person who was being threatened to be raped, as far as he could see, was himself!

Finally, he managed to jerk himself away from the arms around him and, without preamble, shoved the heel of his hand against the greasy man's chin.

"Ugh!" The sound of a pained groan and a satisfying crack echoed, just as Raito tried to open the car door, escape and continue his attack at the same time. But the door would not open, jammed as it was, and his opponent was quick to recuperate.

"You little-!" the man shouted, flinging himself and pinning Raito to the car seat. The younger man writhed, trying to push his attacker off by manipulating their body weights. Uncontrollably as he was moving, Raito accidentally dug his heel in the back of the driver's seat.

"Shit, Sai!" a voice barked from the front, as the driver lost control of the wheel for a few moments. Sai was obviously the name of the man fighting with Raito "What the fuck?!"

But Sai didn't answer, having his hands full. In a wildly foolhardy instant, Raito actually lunged upwards and bit Sai's nose, with all the abandon he could muster. The older man yelled in pain, reflexively bringing his hands to cup his face. Raito found his chance to strike, and delivered a straight jawbreaker, grabbing Sai's greasy hair with one hand and bringing the fist of his other hand against the filthy man's eye.

"What-!?" new shouts were heard from the front, but Raito was too focused on trying to immobilize the other man. Unfortunately, all of a sudden, two sausage-fingered hands closed in a solid lock around his neck, choking him. It was the other bastard, the one sitting on the front, who had joined in the fight. As Raito tried to dislodge himself from the unnamed man's devilishly strong grip, Sai took enough time to recover. He sat up with a bruised eye and a bleeding nose, with a look of utter ire written across his face.

Without another word, he grabbed Raito's forearm and started twisting it, with the obvious intention of breaking it. The younger man, who was still immobilized by the chokehold, was unable to escape as Sai's dirty claws grabbed him.

"A-ARGH!!" Raito let out a choked screech as he felt the excruciating pain of a thousand tendons and bone joints in his forearm shattering to smithereens. He had felt such pain since…since…

"…-uck are you doing back there?!" someone shouted from somewhere, but Raito was now too lost in the pain to register anything clearly. He could barely feel the solid hands around his neck and, blinded by his disintegrating nerves, could barely meet the sight of his own left hand, twisted and dislodged, bent in an unnatural angle.

"-tever you want, and we'll meet you later at the place!" another voice yelled. But Raito's ears were drowning in a sea of vibrant noise, and he couldn't discern any clear sounds.

Suddenly, he felt the car stop moving, and, even though he could barely communicate with the world, understood that the loud sound he heard was the opening and closing of car doors. Then, the hold on his throat was finally released, but he didn't have any time to breathe clearly, since he felt some unearthly force pull him away, by his feet.

He felt Sai's long fingered hands as they fisted in his clothing once more, and had no choice but to let himself be manhandled. His face was shoved in a plane of sweat-scented wet fabric, and he made an unseen grimace of dismay. Then, he heard more car doors slamming, and vaguely registered the sound of a car engine igniting once more…

Only this time…he wasn't on the car. That much was certain, since he couldn't feel the characteristic hum of the engine around him…

But if he wasn't on the car…then where was he? Starting to recover in view of the circumstances, Raito strained to open his eyes and focus.

"…What-" he started, unable to articulate correctly due to the overpowering pain. Sai was not gentle, however, seeing as he dragged Raito along with him and banged him against a wall, somewhere, completely careless of the fact that Raito's pulverized forearm had just made contact with unrelenting brick. The young man gave a tortured howl, but it fell on deaf ears.

"I tried to do it the nice way, but no…" a murmur with a tinge of insanity rang, and Raito slowly started focusing again. He could see dark shapes…like arches. Dark arches on the end of his vision. There was a horrible stink – not only that of sweat, but a smell of rubbish, coming from his left. When he finally managed to focus his attention, the first thing he saw was a trash can overflowing with junk. He tried to blink and adjust his eyes to the darkness, but before he could focus he was shocked once again, this time by the feeling of having his clothing ripped off his body.

"…We'll do it your way, then…just as good..."

They were in some alley…somewhere…everything looked unfamiliar and black. The only thing Raito could discern was the glint of the other man's teeth and the retched spark in his eyes.

Suddenly, the sensation of rough palms as they touched his skin startled him. He made an attempt to push the other away, but wasn't strong enough. Sai caught his hand – the intact one – and pinned it to the wet alley wall. Then, to Raito's utmost disgust, he felt the other man's grimy fingers fist in his auburn hair, and before he knew what was happening, he was overwhelmed by the horrible smell of combined smoke, sweat, alcohol and vomit and he could feel the sticky, slimy, wet sensation of having a tongue shoved in his mouth.

He choked, trying to escape, but any attempt he made only made Sai hold him tighter in place. The disgusting creature pulled on Raito's hair roughly, as a form of punishment, and kept forcing Raito's mouth open, even though Raito was fighting with all his strength to keep it shut. When he tried to bite of Sai's tongue, his reward was a violent tug on the hair, which made his jaw fall open and left Sai completely free to do as he pleased.

He felt those foul fingers roaming around his pectoral muscles, and almost retched on the spot, disgusted at so many things at the same time: that he was being kissed against his will by another male was the most prominent of those things. When a couple of dirty nails found his nipple and squeezed it, Raito attempted to hit the other man in the groin. Being pinned against the wall with a broken arm, however, he was unable to coordinate his movements properly. Besides, the only thing he managed to do was put his knee in contact with the other man's extremely obvious erection.

The mere thought of another man's equipment coming in contact with any part of his anatomy whatsoever, was a bit too much a stain for Raito, who tried to flail around and escape.

"You're a feisty one." He heard the voice, repulsive and thick from arousal whisper in his ear and felt Sai press himself against the whole length of his body. He heard the other man's groan of satisfaction, as he rubbed himself against Raito's unmoving body, and Raito, for once in his life, did not even try to hide his expression of absolute and utter aversion. The ache in his broken arm was becoming numb, and the most prominent thing in Raito's mind was to escape his new plight. However, he didn't have much time to be disgusted by the hands that were possessively touching his abdomen.

The sound of a belt unfastening echoed in the lonely dark alley, and Raito was well aware that it was not his own belt. His amber eyes widened in seconds, and his pupils became utterly constricted. A sudden wave of fear paralyzed his knees and made his heart jerk painfully in his chest. But he had no time to protest: with a violent jerk of his foul-smelling hand, Sai grabbed the chestnut hair and forcefully bent the younger man to his knees. Raito, now completely immobilized and unable to accept that this was happening to him, automatically started pushing his head backwards and making screeching sounds. The sight of another man's hairy erection, hovering right in front of his face, was enough to make him start retching.

Sai gave a low chuckle, and grabbed the sides of Raito's head once more, this time holding the auburn-haired man in place. Upon realizing what was going to happen, Raito only had time to widen his eyes in horror and let out a strangled whine. Then Sai slammed his hips forward, and only choking sounds could be heard.

It was the combination of the action itself and the humiliation involved in it that made Raito almost cry. He was unable to breathe freely, as Sai's foul-smelling organ was shoved in and out of his mouth with an almost merciless consistency. He tried to bite and grit his teeth against it, but whenever he did Sai would give a harsh pull on his hair, making him gasp. And whenever he'd gasp Sai would find the chance to shove it deeper, causing Raito's throat to covulse. At some point, it even felt like he'd suffocate.

He'd suffocate…the great God of the New World, Kira…would die with someone's dick in his mouth.

The utter humiliation of it was too intense to bear. Why did he have to go through this…? Why? By now, as a reflex from the pain, tears were streaming down his face. But he wasn't sure whether or not some of those tears were actually from humiliation.

He didn't know how long it dragged on. And each one of Sai's moans of satisfaction was only accentuated by the disgusting slurping and choking sounds that were filling Raito's ears. Such a simple action, yet infinitely more humiliating and painful than any time the Hands had ripped him. At least the Hands had been there with the intention of murdering him…but this…the mere idea that someone was using Raito's pain purposely to draw satisfaction…

It was more the idea than the action of it – the repulsion involved was a minor detail when compared to the utter shame of the idea of submission. The idea that Raito's entire pride and power had been surrendered, and he was on his knees, unable to move or escape, forced to endure the absolute humiliation.

When the frequency and volume of Sai's groans intensified, the man began pounding in Raito's mouth with utter abandon. Alarms started ringing in Raito's mind, warning him that he might experience the disgusting idea of semen spilling in his mouth. He almost started retching on this idea alone, and had his mouth not already been choking, it would have surely choked now.

But just as Raito was internally wailing at his fate, Sai unexpectedly stopped moving. His hips froze and he pulled the accursed thing out of the other man's mouth, letting Raito's head drop freely. Raito crouched, shuddered, and emptied the contents of his stomach all over the filthy ground of the alley. He tried to breathe freely and felt a sting in his chest, as his lungs were unexpectedly filled with air after so much time. He was internally trying to stop himself from acknowledging that he'd almost fainted with someone's cock in his mouth. Sai let him breathe for a few more moments. Raito had almost started to be able to think clearly again, before he felt a hand – very familiar by now – fist in his hair and pull him upwards.

He fought not to let himself yell in pain as he was manhandled. Sai gave a low-pitched chuckle, and his eyes flashed.

"You're pretty good, bitch." He said, and Raito learned the new dimensions that the words 'hatred' and, most of all, 'humiliation' could take. Before he could register what was happening, he felt those hands again, sweaty and slimy, touch the skin of his abdomen. Within seconds, he felt more than heard his own belt being removed, the zipper of his trousers being lowered.

There was no way he could escape this – not with a broken arm and trembling legs. His heart was pounding in barely restrained panic, his fingers were convulsing and clutching at nothingness, his mind was jerking around ineffectively as he was stripped from his clothes. With another malicious glint in his eyes, Sai flung Raito to the ground by his hair and lost no time in kneeling over him, losing no time and grabbing each of Raito's thighs. There was a mad glint in his eyes, which implies the power of blind arousal, as he tried to ply Raito's legs open. Raito, on his part, was straining to keep them closed, clawing on the ground with his fingers and fighting to crawl away.

At some point, with a heavy grunt, Sai lunged forward, grabbing Raito's broken forearm and pinning it on the ground. The sharpness of the pain was so sudden that the scream that escaped Raito's lips was completely involuntary, a mixture of surprise and horror. Crippled by the pain in his hand, and unable to see straight anymore, his legs were completely pliant as the other man spread his thighs.

Raito started coughing on his own saliva when he felt an offending warm mass settle over his body. The horror and frantic heartbeat began to drown out the actual pain. And when he felt the sensation of something wet, sticky and extremely hard slide across his upper thigh did he resume his thrashing.

But by now, it was too late. All it took was another hit on his broken arm, and Raito was completely neutralized, almost fainting. Sai roughly pulled one of the younger man's calves over his shoulder, hitching Raito's knee around it.

"NGH!!"

When it finally happened, it was horrible. No, it was more than horrible. The pain was of a retched kind, unlike any other. But it was the suddenness of it, the careless violence with which it happened, that was the most crippling of all. Of course, it was nothing compared to the kind of pain Raito had persevered in the past with the Hands.

But this time it was not the pain that hurt him the most. It was the utter humiliation.

The knowledge that he, who had excelled and overachieved in everything in his life, he who had had power over the lives of this fucker and so many other people, could now so easily be thrown to the ground and degraded in this horrid way.

He tried to stifle his voice, unwilling to give anyone the pleasure of hearing the shell-shocking depth of this humiliation. But the loud moans that were echoing from the other man were almost enough to drown out Raito's own voice, and the knowledge that his shame was being exploited only served to intensify the shattering of his pride.

"…so good…uhh…" the thick voice muttered, groaning as Raito shuddered "…you're so good…"

He felt penetrated in more than one sense, completely and utterly violated, used in the worst possible manner. Not even when they'd shredded him apart had they made him feel so entirely murdered. Because this time it wasn't only his body that was being raped – it was his soul as well, and all its foundations. The fact that a mere nobody could cause him, the Great Kira, to feel such intense pain was more than humiliating: it was shell-shocking.

He felt his skin being squeezed beneath the dirty hands, and yelled in pain once again. It would be over soon, he told himself. It would be over…. But the pain was not becoming less harsh, no matter how much time passed. Each thrust was just as excruciating as the one before, and Raito's utter lack of arousal was intensifying the dryness of the pain.

Just as he'd predicted, it only took a few more minutes for Sai's body to freeze, his hips stilling their constant movements. Raito felt a form of utterly sickening wetness cover his pelvis, and he shut his eyes tightly, willing himself not to think about it, not to scream.

He was expecting the other man to roll away immediately. Indeed, the weight over Raito was finally removed. But instead of being left there in peace, Raito felt his shoulder being grabbed. He opened his eyes, dizzy and confused, and the only thing he saw was the evil smile across Sai's face. Then, he felt his body being jerked around, until he was lying prostrate on the ground, with his face buried in the dirt.

The weight over him resumed full force, and he felt hands grabbing the back of his head, forcing him to arch backwards. Soon enough, the pressure resumed, and Raito released another scream.

"Second round." The husky tone muttered, and Raito's hands fisted in the dirt. Everything was spinning, he was aching and tears of pain and frustration were spilling from his eyes. It hurt…it hurt…and more importantly, it stripped all his pride, to be bent over like this. It stripped him.

Now the pounding was accompanied by a wet squelching sound. Raito squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth. Sai froze above him once more, and the warm wetness soon intensified. He was unable to breathe – the disgust was so strong.

"Third round"

But each time was just as bad as the first…and each time, the realization of his utter weakness and humiliation became deeper and deeper.

When would it stop…?

…when would it finally stop…?

Raito lay there, naked, with his limbs spread out. His mind was completely blank, for once, as he focused all his energy on breathing. His broken arm had become a dead weight on his side, and he could hardly feel it.

Suddenly, he heard shuffling sounds and saw the man standing over him, zipping his trousers. He went somewhere out of Raito's vision, and then returned a few moments later, with some lumps of fabric held in his hand. He threw the wad on Raito's chest and chuckled with that characteristic derisive grin that Raito knew would haunt him in the future.

He had no energy to think, much less sit up and wear his clothes. He'd lost count of how many times it had happened, since he was certain he'd passed out, at some point..but it had felt like an eternity. But the fact that the man was standing there and that Raito could feel a stream of wetness – blood and something else – flowing over his thighs was proof that it had truly happened.

"Well, it's been a blast." That voice, completely relaxed and rather cheery, echoed around the empty dark silence. Raito swallowed, feeling the sides of his dry throat ache "But now I've gotta run."

Raito watched him, barely registering that he was buttoning his Hawaiian mulit-coloured shirt and slicking his greasy dark brown hair backwards. Raito could almost feel it ghosting over his back, just as it had when the man had been rolling over him, only a few minutes ago.

Everything that had happened before this evening, the many nights he'd spent reading by Ryuuzaki's side…everything seemed like an eternity away.

Raito heard footsteps and twisted his head slightly to observe the other man, as he started walking away, looking nonchalant and rather cheerful. As though nothing had happened. As though he hadn't just raped someone at least seven times and left them there with a broken arm.

Raito wanted to see him disappear, wipe him out from his memory. It wasn't hatred that was consuming him; it was utter humiliation. How could he have let this happen to him?

And then, like a meteor, the sounds of Sayu's screams filled his ears, the look of terror in her wide eyes exploded in his brain. Sayu…Sayu…was this what he'd done to her…? But he'd had no choice when he'd raped her – neither he nor his father... Then perhaps, this man…Sai…had also not had a choice? Perhaps, like Raito, he'd been…forced…to be extremely aroused and raped someone…? Had he….? Was he…?

Turning toward the man, who had almost walked out of the alley by now, Raito gasped. There was something he felt the need to ask, with the last of his strength. He needed to know.

"Wait…" he rasped, but Sai didn't stop walking and Raito realized he'd have to try speaking louder "Wait!" he repeated, his scratchy throat feeling sore, after all the screaming he'd done.

At least he saw Sai's figure pause in the distance, and watched the man turn around, with a few strands of his slimy shoulder-length hair falling across his forehead. He didn't say anything, continuing to smoke his cigarette, as he waited expectantly.

"Did you…" Raito started, suddenly feeling extremely and utterly naked, under the gaze of the one who had stripped his body in the most humiliating way "Had you…" he started again, becoming frustrated by the uncontrollable stuttering of his own voice. Finally, with a breath, he said it "Did you do it because you had no choice?"

"What?" Sai's unrelenting and slightly annoyed voice bounced off the walls of the alley, and Raito willed the man to start apologizing, start saying that his actions had been involuntary, that he'd been wrong…that Raito had not become utterly humiliated. But Sai said no such thing.

"Did you…do it because you couldn't stop yourself?" and even though a part of him felt totally stupid for asking this, the greater part of him, the part of him that was spread out on a dirty alley ground, didn't want to accept what had happened, and that he'd been so weak.

But the other man did not share all these noble emotions.

"What's that bullshit?" he barked, laughing derisively and mocking Raito with his gaze. Belatedly, Raito realized that the other man had always sounded completely composed and in control of himself, nothing like what his father had sounded like before he'd raped Sayu. "I just thought you were cute, and felt like fucking you. That's all." and with those words, the man moved away.

Raito's mouth dried up, his throat became clogged. Something broke, and it wasn't just his arm. He felt the cold night air hit his exposed skin and shuddered.

'That's all'

That was the reason why Raito had just undergone the most humiliating, repulsive and shell-shocking violent experience of his entire life. Because some random bastard had felt like it.

And the fact that it had happened for no reason, that there existed a man so disgusting and vile who would do this to another man just to satisfy his own arrogance, made it all the more sickening.

Raito couldn' t move for a very long time after that. He just held still, looking at the starry night sky with glassy, unblinking eyes. His expression had become completely neutralized, and the only things on him that were moving were his toes and fingers, which kept making small spastic convulsions every few seconds.

He stayed there, lost in the night, wishing that he'd never see another human again. Before he realized it, the cold of the night had overcome him, and he closed his eyes. He realized that he hated Sai.

People like Sai, who violated for no reason, really were better off dead.

The next time that Raito opened his eyes, the stars and the edges of tall buildings were not the first thing he saw. It was a white ceiling with a big fan, which sent pleasant waves of air in Raito's direction.

The serenity and calmness of his surroundings overcame him for a few moments, and he was content to just lie there, in the comfortable bed, without questioning why or where. A few minutes passed, and then he finally decided to inspect his surroundings. Only when he tried to sit up did he feel a stinging pain on his left, and turned to see his forearm, which was suspended in midair, encased in a white cask.

Everything flooded back to him, from the robbery of the car, to Sai's appearance, to…what had happened in that alley. He gulped at the memory, and fathomed he could feel even now the insistent pain in his pelvis.

Observing his surroundings, he realized he was in a hospital room again, surrounded by the beds of other patients. It was obviously a public hospital, and the sleeping figures around him obviously had differing degrees and forms of illness to combat. The man directly opposite from Raito, for example, seemed to have broken his leg, and was reading a book while lying down. He granted Raito a 'good morning' and returned to his book.

Raito nodded in return, not trusting himself to speak. He could still hear his own screams and the other man's groans echo in his ears, as though they'd been carved on his memory. He looked around the room some more, and his eyes finally came to rest on a female figure, sitting on a chair near his bed. The woman was half asleep, keeping her eyes closed and breathing in steady deep breaths.

"Mother…?" he muttered in disbelief, and immediately saw her eyes flutter open.

"Oh Raito!" she gasped, standing up immediately and trying to give him an awkward hug. Finally, when she realized it was impossible to touch him without hurting him, she settled for caressing his cheek "Thank God! We were so worried!"

The last time he'd seen her was when they'd dropped Sayu to the house after the earthquake. Obviously, judging from her enthusiastic greetings, she had not been informed of what he'd done to his sister. The woman was dressed in black, which was a symbol for mourning the death of her late husband – killed in the earthquake.

All this information bogged Raito's brain down significantly, generating many questions at once. How had they found him? How had they brought him here? Did they know what had happened to him? Did they know he had…?

God, he'd never life it down if anyone else knew of his utter humiliation…

Even though he wanted to ask all these questions, he waited for his mother to finish doting on him, showing him the chocolates and flowers that had gathered on the night table beside him. Raito noticed his sister's handwriting in one of the 'get well' cards, and swallowed a lump that had grown in his throat.

After having the same thing done to him, he'd now gained a whole new understanding of exactly what he'd done to her. And the knowledge that he'd been to her what Sai had been to him – and even worse, because Raito had been her brother, who she'd trusted – was almost bending his thoughts in desperation.

Humiliation was taking all kinds of different forms now. Humiliation for having allowed himself to be manipulated and disgraced, humiliation for having committed the same horrible act to his sister…only now did he understand the full impact of what rape really was. Of course he didn't want to talk about it, and tell anyone about what had happened. If it was up to Raito, he'd want to put the entire thing behind him, and act as though it had never happened.

The memory of that man's scent would never leave him alone, since he still felt he could smell it on his own skin, but acting as though it had never happened was a start.

Suddenly, the door of the hospital room opened, and the deep sound echoed around them. Raito's mother stopped talking and paused, turning to look at the newcomer.

Raito's heart sunk in one single jerk, and his stomach tightened, when he recognized the black hair and distinctive arch of the white shirt. It was the notorious detective, holding a laptop in his right hand.

"I've been notified that Raito-kun is awake…" Ryuuzaki's voice echoed, just as flat and expressionless as always. He walked toward Raito's bed with his distinctive calm sway and nodded in greeting toward Raito's mother, black strands bobbing gently over his forehead. This man's appearance simultaneously brought back so many memories and so many unwanted emotions, that Raito started feeling stifled. It was the first time he was seeing Ryuuzaki after…after…

And the presence of Ryuuzaki so close to him was not helping right now.

"Ryouga-san-" his mother started, but Raito completely drowned her out. Ryuuzaki and the woman were both bending over his bed now, and he was feeling suffocated. He tried to show his discomfort by huffing loudly and shuffling around, but no one seemed to notice him.

Ryuuzaki's composed appearance served as a source of annoyance, since Raito was not feeling up to dealing with Ryuuzaki's constant vigilance right now. Besides, Ryuuzaki's nonchalance about Raito's state was proof that he did not believe the situation was serious enough – or even that Raito had deserved what had happened to him. A flash of anger overcame Raito's thoughts, but he stifled it quickly. Finally unable to take the pressure, Raito spoke.

"…Mother. Ryuu-…Ryouga…could you please…" he muttered, motioning vaguely with his hand. His mother seemed to catch the drift immediately, nodding compassionately. Raito despised the look of barely restrained pity in her eyes.

"Oh! Of course dear…we'll let you rest…" she said, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. Raito was embarrassed on her account, and he wanted them both to just…stop. Disappear. Leave. She did just that, sharing a small nod with Ryuuzaki and exiting the room.

Thankfully, Ryuuzaki also didn't press the matter. There was no look of pity in his eyes, and he acted the same as always. Raito was strangely thankful of that. With a piercing look, L walked away from the bed. Raito expected him to leave the room altogether, but the black-haired man settled on Raito's mother's chair.

Raito briefly considered cursing, but realized that Ryuuzaki probably would not leave, no matter how much Raito wished him to. Just as Raito tried to calm himself and stop having flashbacks of…of that night, Ryuuzaki occupied himself with scanning the room. His eyes became fixed on the patient with the broken leg, lying in a heap opposite Raito.

"…Hello." The elderly man told Ryuuzaki, when he noticed him staring. L stared a moment longer, letting his eyes read the title of the book the man was reading. Finally, after making the patient uncomfortable, he answered with a 'Hello' of his own and turned back to Raito. After a while, he opened his laptop and started typing frantically.

But Raito was looking out the window by now. The only thing that echoed in his brain was Sai's last words, as the man had walked away.

'I just felt like fucking you, that's all.'

He hadn't been helplessly aroused, just like Raito had been when he'd raped Sayu, nor had he been apologetic after hurting another. The anger and hatred inside Raito intensified, almost making him shout out loud. Unfortunately, the tempestuous nature of his last few experiences was taking a great toll both on Raito's patience and Raito's will for self-control. He understood the importance of keeping his face as an expressionless mask, but he simply couldn't find the will to do it. The more time passed, the more he find that he wanted to vent everything out. Wanted to let the world know how much he hated, but at the same time didn't want anyone to see how humiliated he was.

But if Raito had learnt one thing after raping Sayu was that, sometimes, even though something may appear utterly inexcusable…there may be a justification for it? What if Sai had a reason for acting and thinking in this uncaring way? What if something had happened to him to make him become like this...?

But on the other hand, if Raito kept trying to find excuses for criminals, then the meaning of a crime would lose its value. He recalled Sai's words, which had been uttered so carelessly an coldly.

"That's all."

Perhaps Sai had no excuse for acting the way he did. Perhaps his cruelty was just a product of his will to harm others, and had never been forced…?

There had been no demonic arousal, no desperation. He'd just done it because he'd been malicious, and cruel. If he had done it because he'd been forced to do it…then the crime itself would not render him despicable. But now, the genuine, unprovoked cruelty of his intentions proved that that man had never been forced to commit a crime. He said it himself: he'd hurt people because he 'felt like it'.

And now, after having experienced it first hand, it was impossible for Raito to stop thinking in terms of his personal humiliation. He simply could not see the matter of crime with the same detached logic he'd used before. When thinking of that man, he felt intense hatred, an element of disgust. He felt he wanted revenge.

Had Sayu ever wanted revenge against Raito for having raped her? She seemed not to…but why?

Now having felt the utter helplessness associated with being an actual victim, Raito could justify his sister if she had hated him. However, even though she kept avoiding him, she had never become hateful or malicious…even now, she called him 'onii-chan', using the kind honorific.

It was nothing like what Raito felt toward Sai right now.

After having become a rapist himself, and now realizing the exact impact that this crime had on its victims, Raito realized that sometimes people could be forced to commit horrible actions. In an outsider's eyes – for example, in Ryuuzaki's eyes – Raito's rape of Sayu had looked like nothing more than a crime. Even though it wasn't – it wasn't a crime! Raito had never meant for it to happen, and he felt guilt and remorse after having committed it.

But Sai…when Sai had raped Raito, the crime had been just as harsh as what Raito himself had done to Sayu. But still, it wasn't the same thing. Because Raito – or Souichirou, who had raped Sayu – was not the same as Sai. He didn't like to hurt people on purpose.

Justice was flexible – it was questionable. Two criminals, who commit the same crime, may be very different people. Souichirou and Sai may have technically done the same thing, but Raito could never judge them in the same way. Sai would always carry the weight of being aware of his crime.

And when it came to the greater good of society…people like Sai truly were better off dead. However, people like Souichirou or Raito himself, who had committed vulgar crimes despite their will…who were technically innocent…did not deserve to be wiped out.

Suddenly, everything started to click in Raito's mind, like a huge chain of events. He'd have never gained compassion for any criminal if he'd not become a criminal himself. In fact, if he'd never been thrown and murdered by the Hands – while being utterly unable to defend himself – he would have never understood the enraging nature of injustice. And finally, had it not been for the constant body switches of the interrogation with a demon, he would never have gained the appropriate mental flexibility to appreciate the dichotomy of justice.

He would never have seen the fact that a man can be either pardoned or punished for committing a crime. The factor that ordains who is to be punished is not the crime itself…it is the man.

It is true that whenever a crime is committed, the victim is always hurt and society is plagued. There is no such thing as a noble crime. The issue is, therefore, whether the criminal must be removed from society to improve it. And it all comes down to the same thing: if the criminal is unrelenting, if he acts out of pure spite, then he must be removed. But if he is a victim of circumstance, blackmail or manipulation, it is ineffective and needless to remove him.

In this sense, some of Kira's actions had indeed been erroneous and not just. Amongst the criminals he killed, there surely must have been innocent ones. However…not all of the deaths were wrong. Kira worked as a judge – that was his ideal. The only problem with Kira's punishment was that it took only one form, and there was no way to adjust the punishment according to the level of each criminal.

Raito sat up, with a sudden jerking movement, causing the white serum hanging from the top of his bed to jingle. He widened his eyes, and felt like he was seeing the world for the first time, as though something great was happening – as though some ironclad bubble had just burst in his brain, and he could finally see things clearly.

Ryuuzaki looked up from the screen of his laptop, his wide eyes becoming fixed on Raito's enlightened expression.

"Yagami-kun…?" he asked, with a small inflection of inquiry in his voice.

But Raito hardly heard him, focused as he was. If there really was no way to discern the truly responsible, bloodthirsty criminals from the 'innocent' ones, who'd been forced to commit a crime…then how….

If the word 'criminal' implies two meanings…then how was a good judge supposed to be fair?

If not on the severity of the crime, then where should the criteria for criminals be based?

In other words, in order to relieve society…which ones would Kira be obliged to remove?

Ryuuzaki stayed in the room and didn't speak much, for the most part. Raito had heard the other patients muttering something about 'a moving friendship' and 'a touching devotion', but he ignored everything. After all, he knew exactly that L was constantly with him not because of feelings of friendship – quite the contrary, actually. Ryuuzaki was the living representation of the phrase 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'.

They never spoke of what had happened, and although Raito was content to leave it that way, it was impossible not to let his mind start roaming. With the nonchalance of Ryuuzaki's countenance, he could have sworn that Ryuuzaki himself had paid Sai to rape Raito, just so he could satisfy 'the Law of Retaliation'. The constant thought that L probably believed that Raito had gotten what he deserved was perhaps more humiliating than the memory of the rape itself.

At some point, Raito considered whether or not he should talk to L about it, but dismissed the idea within milliseconds.

The third night of his stay at the hospital, Raito decided to strike up some conversation, starting to feel bored of reading newspaper clippings of the Kira case all day long.

"So did you see Watari?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the newspaper he was reading and trying to act noncommittal.

"Yes." Ryuuzaki answered solidly.

"And what-" Raito started saying, turning toward Ryuuzaki. However, he stopped speaking immediately, when he noticed L's face. "…"

There was silence for a few seconds, during which Ryuuzaki stared at the other expectantly. But Raito didn't speak. He just sat up, supporting himself on his elbow and leaned towards L. The detective didn't move his face away, continuing to stare blankly. But it wasn't Ryuuzaki's stare that Raito was currently occupied with.

"Ryuuzaki…" he started, muttering lightly, his eyes sharp and narrowed "…you have a mole…"

"Very observant of you, Yagami-kun." The deep tone of Ryuuzaki's voice flowed, but Raito wasn't listening. His vision was fixed on the dark brown spot, located directly beneath Ryuuzaki's eye, on the edge of the cheekbone.

"You…Ryuuzaki..." He spoke a tad absently, his mind sinking in dreaded realization.

Absorbed in everything that had happened to him, completely devoted to his thoughts about justice as he had been…he had forgotten the most crucial, important thing.

None of this was real.

Moving like lightning, his right arm – not the broken one – shot out and grabbed Ryuuzaki's hair, pulling the other man forward. Ryuuzaki didn't make a sound, just started shaking his head in an effort to move away.

"Yagami-kun-" Ryuuzaki – no, the hallucination – started saying, but Raito was unrelenting.

"Ryuuzaki doesn't have a mole." He whispered, more to himself than to the other man. Immediately after Raito uttered the words, however, Ryuuzaki's shoulders stilled. Something wasn't right in the way Ryuuzaki's body jerked, as though he were being…manipulated, somehow. As though the detective had lost control of his own body.

Raito let go of him hastily, moving backwards and hoarsely looking around the room, hoping to ask for help.

But the patients had all disappeared.

He looked back at Ryuuzaki, feeling his insides freeze. There was no one in Ryuuzaki's seat. Instead of Ryuuzaki's curled knees, the only thing Raito could see was a puppet.

It was a small puppet, with a white shirt and small blue trousers, and with a shock of ebony hair covering its porcelain head. Its mouth was drawn in a line shaped like a bridge, which suggested a pout. Its eyes, huge and piercing, were looking right through Raito.

"Ryuuza…ki…?" Raito gasped, feeling his heartbeat start pounding and unable to stop his surprised anxiety from showing.

And then he noticed that, underneath the puppet's eye he could still see, even now, a small brown smudge – a mole. Indeed, Raito could swear on all the time he'd known the detective that Ryuuzaki had never had a mole in that specific place. But, luckily, Raito was well acquainted with a certain lady who did.

Misa

Her presence had been there all along: in the marionette, on the pseudo-Ryuuzaki's face…. Everywhere.

Just a few hours ago, Ryuuzaki had turned into a marionette right in front of Raito's eyes. And after that, all the humans in the entire world seemed to have disappeared. Everything worked like clockwork – the doors opened, the trains made their usual stops. The only thing that was missing was the humans. It was as though Raito was the only human left in the world. His gut tightened. His arm which had been broken and in a sling, now appeared completely normal, as though nothing had ever happened to it. Right after Ryuuzaki's transformation, it was as though something had washed over Raito, rejuvenating his entire body.

As though nothing had ever happened. As though he hadn't even been raped, although he knew he had been. And that memory could never be washed away.

Raito's memory was strong, and years of trying to avoid Ryuuzaki's verbal maneuvers had taught him always to pay attention to detail. So he could remember, clearly as day, that when he'd recently been living in the Headquarters building with Ryuuzaki, before the earthquake struck, he'd never seen Misa. Even though there had been investigation cameras covering every inch of her room, and Ryuuzaki had claimed he could see her very well, Raito had never managed to catch even the smallest glimpse of her.

Her room in the Headquarters building.

Raito walked out of the metro station.

If she wouldn't come to him…then he would go to her. Just as he'd done with the marionette. He felt as though he were trapped in a video game, where he had to make the right move in order to progress the storyline. It was a war of attrition.

His footsteps were steady. He wasn't ambling, he was marching. This day was very special indeed, if it could even be classified as a day and not another blank unity of time in this nightmarish place.

No matter how brightly the dying embers of the setting sun would shine, the world always looked the same to him in the time he'd spent here. Dark and cold, comprised of blue, black and white hues. Everything around him was dulled. The whole world was becoming a spiral – a whirlpool – of ringing bells and blowing winds.

It was not the real world, no matter how much Raito had wanted to believe it.

But why Misa? She'd always adored him, hadn't she?

In these few torturous hours ever since he'd walked out of the hospital, Raito was in a constant panic, practically waiting for her to appear in front of him….and who knows what she would demand? He hadn't fallen to the Hands for some time now…and he didn't think he'd ever be able to withstand it again.

Or she might do something even worse. He had cheated on her with Takeda, after all…

The huge building was there, just as he remembered it. L's monolith, designed in true Asian grandeur. Very little of its special glow could be seen now, since it was crumbling after the earthquake. In a small room, somewhere in that building …she was waiting for him. He could feel her.

When he looked at the building, he even thought he saw the skies becoming darker in his peripheral vision. But then again, it might have been a trick of the light. This place was full of hallucinogenic tricks, after all.

Raito stood below it, trying not to drop to his knees from paralysis. Because from this angle, the building looked exactly…the only thing that was missing was the small shadowy figure in the distance, and the scene would look exactly the same as when he dropped to the Hands.

Steeling his thoughts and neutralizing all emotion, he tightened his palms into fists. There was no escaping it…

If he wanted to solve this riddle once and for all, he'd have to go in there.

Misa

He had a date today, after all.

(1) yes, it really is an extract from the play. Act two, scene one of Shakespeare's 'Measure for measure'.

a/n: So there ya go! Hope everyone liked it! I hope I made it obvious that Raito's views are starting to change, even though he's still unrepentant for being Kira! Not to worry; I now have a good understanding of what I'm planning to do with this plot, and how the Trial is going to reach a conclusion. This was hopefully a chapter that made the readers think!

Oh, and one more thing! The next chapter is a surprise (and I'm not talking about Misa, but something else) ! I think that all of you out there are going to love it!! I've already started writing it! Da-da-dum, da-da-dum!!!

Please stay tuned, and drop me a review! I'm a bit skeptical about this chapter and I need your feedback!