Mump Grump
The Rats had returned to base following two weeks deep in the desert spreading their own brand of alarm and despondency as Moffitt liked to say. They had showered and were having dinner in the mess hall where spam and lima beans were on the menu. Tully and Moffitt were chatting and enjoying the hot food. Hitch, not a big fan of lima beans, but a Spam lover, focused more on the spiced ham, only eating the green vegetable because he was hungry and knew he needed nourishment.
"I guess this combination is popular back home. The Spam manufacturers actually post colorful ads and recipes in magazines for this stuff," Hitch said, eating the lima beans with a grimace, swallowing quickly and covering the taste with a drink of coffee. "It would be a lot better with potatoes or eggs."
"It's better than K-rations," Tully replied.
Troy loved lima beans and Spam. It was probably his favorite meal, and he always looked forward to it being served. Tonight was different. Hitch was the first to notice that the sergeant was moving the food around on his plate, but he wasn't eating. He kept clearing his throat and frowning.
"Something wrong, Sarge?" Hitch asked nervously. Troy didn't like to be asked if he was alright, or attention drawn to any problem he might be having.
Troy's frown increased and after a few moments, he pushed his tray away and answered, "Just exhausted. Too tired to eat. I'm going to turn in." He stood, picked up his tray and left. The three rats looked at one another.
"That's not like him," Tully commented.
"Not at all," Moffitt agreed. "I believe something else is going on."
"He could just be really tired," Hitch added.
"Have you ever seen Troy turn down Spam and lima beans?" Moffitt asked. Both privates shook their heads.
After a few drinks at the local bar, they returned to their quarters. Troy was asleep but he seemed somewhat restless.
"Hope he's better in the morning," Tully said, climbing into his bunk and the other two nodded in agreement.
Troy was definitely NOT better in the morning. He was flushed and perspiration around his hairline indicated fever. His neck seemed swollen, and he was grouchier than they had ever witnessed. Moffitt anxiously suggested he needed to go to the hospital and get checked out. Troy's angry denial made them all nervous, but they finally managed to half persuade, half drag him to see a doctor.
After a brief examination, the doctor shooed them from the hospital while ordering Troy into isolation. The Rats hung about outside the entrance door, waiting for the doctor to tell them what was going on. Finally, he appeared and diagnosed Troy with one word, "Mumps."
"Mumps?" the three spoke as one, each astounded to hear what had felled their leader.
"Mumps," the doctor quietly repeated. "We haven't had an outbreak on base. Where have you guys been for the last two weeks?"
"Mostly behind enemy lines." Moffitt explained. "We just returned late yesterday afternoon.
"Did you have any personal contact with others?" the doctor asked.
"Not with the enemy. I guess you could say most of our work is done from a distance—with detonators," Tully added.
"We did spend two days helping at an orphanage." Hitch piped up.
"Did you spend time with the children, and do you know if any of them were ill?" the doctor questioned.
"It was mostly Hitchcock and Pettigrew who played with the children. Troy told a few stories to a group of them. Our main concern was repairing their damaged water wheel," Moffitt shared.
"I'll need the location of that orphanage so I can determine if that's where he picked up the infection," the doctor was concerned.
"What happens now?" Tully asked.
"He'll be in isolation for the next ten days. No visitors unless cleared. Make sure you wash your hands with a lot of soap and don't share any eating utensils or drink from the same cup or canteen," the doctor instructed.
"But mumps is a kid's disease," Hitch spoke. "I had it when I was about seven."
"Mumps in adults can be much more serious. We'll have to see how it plays out. How many of you have had mumps?" explained the doctor. All three raised their hands.
"You're immune but you can still carry it to others which is why we have to be stringent in our precautions. We don't want an outbreak among the base personnel."
The Rats felt strange leaving Troy alone without even having the opportunity to say goodbye. They didn't like not being there for their teammates when sick or injured.
"Don't worry," Hitch assured them when Tully spoke that concern aloud. "I've got some inside sources," he said, adjusting the kepi on his head and smiling at a nurse entering the hospital. "I'll find out how he's doing." Hitch quickly caught up with her and they didn't see him again until the next morning.
At breakfast, Hitch reported his findings about Troy's condition. "His fever is rising, glands beneath his ears are swollen, no appetite, muscle aches and pains, very tired and very crabby."
"Yeah, maybe it's a good thing we can't be around him," Tully nervously mused over a sugared donut.
"I just wish he wasn't facing it alone. I don't envy the nurses having to tolerate a disgruntled Troy. A rabid badger would be easier to handle," Moffitt commented.
"Yeah, Bea and Sally both said he was pretty miserable to deal with," Hitch took a deep drink of his coffee.
"Two? Seriously?" Tully shook his head at his younger friend.
"Hey," Hitch responded, "It was a slow night. I wrote a note to Sarge for them to give him. That's about all we can do right now."
"Well, while we are waiting for our fearless leader to recover, we've been assigned duties around the base. The two of you are to overhaul the jeeps and get them in top form while I get to deal with some paperwork for both Captain Boggs and Colonel Quint," Moffitt announced.
"That's an insult," Tully protested, "as if we don't keep our jeeps in tip top form all the time." Hitch nodded in agreement and Moffitt smiled at the two privates.
"Get going," Moffitt sipped his tea as they scrammed.
The next few days crept by with Hitch and Tully helping in the motor pool and Moffitt interpreting documents for Colonel Quint. They sent notes to Troy and once or twice managed to sneak in front of the large glass window of the isolation room to wave at their team leader before being tossed out by the nurses.
Troy was miserable. Every joint and muscle in his body ached, he had difficulty swallowing, his head throbbed, and more glands were swelling in addition to those beneath his ears. He was told this sometimes happened with men who contracted mumps as adults. He longed to be back out in the desert matching wits with Dietrich. On top of everything, he knew the base was buzzing with the news that Troy, of all people, was laid low by a kid's illness. The indignity to his reputation was humiliating.
His mind was restless as he kept thinking about what his team should be doing out in the desert instead of being sidelined by a case of mumps of all things. At least he did have some very pretty and sympathetic nurses on hand, but he quickly realized they were part of Hitch's harem who seemed to endlessly talk about the private.
Slowly the days crawled by and in a week Troy was feeling much better. However, the doctor was going to keep him isolated for a full ten days, so he had to continue watching the clock slowly tick and make plans for everything the team needed to do once he was released.
Captain Boggs was no dummy. Immediately following Troy's release, the Rat Patrol was sent off to destroy a German ammo supply, so the base didn't have to deal with the repercussions of a certain wound up sergeant. The guys met him at the hospital door, Moffitt handed him his slouch hat and with a gravelly, "Let's shake it," they took off across the dunes spreading alarm and despondency in their wake.