Our conversation was brief.

But it changed everything.

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Ignoring my invitation to sit beside me, Deku takes his place at the other end of my room. He slowly scans my Best Jeanius shrine and All Might altar. He moves over to the corkscrew board my parents have maintained, pinning all my news clippings from UA to my pro hero days. Then he makes his way to the photo wall full of Polaroids from my childhood; he's in most of them. When he notices me watching him, he folds his arms and stands directly over the hidden burn mark, under the All Might rug. There's no way he knows that.

"I'm waiting," he says, impatiently. Emotionally. "How are you going to make up two decades of a toxic friendship then ghosting me for the past five years? Hm? I called you so many times, you know?" He taps his red sneakers on All Might's huge, megawatt smile. I look at him, studying his anger. It's nothing like when we were kids, or teens, or even before I ran. There's a density to it, an intensity to it, as if One For All is wrestling with his emotions.

But I don't know which one's winning.

"Why did you come over, Izuku?"

"That's already been established, Kacchan. Don't waste my time. Why are you back in Japan?"

I lick my lips. The phantom feeling of Deku's lips pressed against them causes my lungs to squeeze against my chest. It'd been so long since they last touched that my heart aches for more, though I know...

I groan and flatten my back against the cool sheets. My childhood bed feels like home, and I wish only to curl up in it and forget this whole day happened. "Agh…I only came back because Legs asked me to be in his and Boobs's wedding," I flippantly reply. It's still hard to show weakness in front of him even when my greatest desire is to be vulnerable.

This is what I wanted, planned, hoped for, and yet…

I peek over the foot of my sleigh bed. The glint in his eye…he's not buying my bullshit.

"Kacchan…you're a groomsman? Iida said you declined."

"I did. But now I'm here! So, blame Legs, not me!" He's pacing even faster now and I don't know if that's a good thing or his worst-case scenario, but I need it to be good. How selfish of me. "Remember when we were little kids and we used to role-play heroes and villains here after school?"

We share a nostalgic grin, but Deku quickly wipes his off. "Heh," he snorts, rolling his eyes. My head tracks him as he walks to the window facing my room door. "My deviated septum certainly does." He's become snarkier over the years. Looking out, he runs his fingers through his hair. Descending sunlight fans over his head and his green-black hair shines beneath it. Fuck, I want to run my fingers through it, too. I find myself reminiscing; I can still smell his fresh mountain rain shampoo from when I helped him wash it after breaking his arm during the Sports Festival our third year.

"I guess we do have a toxic friendship," I chuckle. My therapist says levity helps keep humiliation away.

"Did." Deku's correction is so sharp, so quick that it wouldn't even hit me I'd been struck and wounded by it until weeks later, when my heart wouldn't stop bleeding out.

"Yeah, I guess I deserve that."

He mocks, "You guess?"

"Okay, I get it, alright?! I was a shithead then and I'm still a shithead now." I close the distance between us, standing three paces away. It's a colossal feat not to reach out and touch him, but it's best to keep my hands to myself.

Still, I dare to be closer. I move around him and grab the All Might and Stain Funko Pop figurines from my display case, trying to make our shoulders graze. "But, I loved those play dates. You know, this room brings back some fond memories from those days. Like, how you sucked as a villain!" I laugh, shaking my head and the Stain figurine in my hand. "Always crying like a big baby!"

He comes closer to me, but not too close. He snatches the All Might figure from my hand and walks back to the window. Our shoulders never touch. Our eyes never meet. "Well, of course, I did. You know I hated being the villain. But you never let me play the hero."

"Heh. Yeah, well, look how life panned out anyway." I place the figure on my desk and sit back on my bed. Tossing the baseball in the air and catching it as I gather my courage and thoughts, I watch as he stares out the window. "Do you ever miss those days?"

"No, not really."

Not gonna lie—that stung. "Why not?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because the first and last time I kissed you in this room you nearly broke my nose and banned me from ever stepping foot in here again."

So, he does remember.

"I thought you'd forget such a trivial childhood spat. It happened so long ago, I practically did."God, why do I keep lying to both of us?

Deku pauses at that, then slowly faces me. His eyes pin me down with a fury I've only seen in combat. When he speaks again, his voice is so low, so hollow, it makes me reconsider my homecoming. "So, you mean to tell me that after two decades and all the shit we've been through, you seize the opportunity to recreate that moment for no reason?" I shrug, saying nothing, and rub my sweating hands on my pants. "Like I said, fuck you!"

I spring to my feet. "Hey! You came to me!"

"Yeah! As a courtesy to my mother! And boy, do I fucking regret it! Here you go again! This is my life you keep fucking with! You're so ungrateful!"

"I didn't tell you to come save me, Deku! You did that all on your own! So, who are you really mad at, huh?!"

"You! I'm mad at you, Kacchan! And I'm mad at myself for being mad at you!"

"Now, why the hell are you mad about that?" My sidelong glare hides my reddening cheeks. He still cares about me!

"Because I was stupid enough to believe things would be different between us now!"

My heart skips a beat with a loud punch. "Different, how?"

The silence of seconds passes between us like hours. I half-expected him to break it first, to be the one to initiate our reconciliation, but time has changed many things between us.

So, I'm the first to cave.

"Why aren't you with Shoto right now?"

"That's none of your business."

"Does he know you're here?" He doesn't respond, only keeps his gaze on me, and I know the rumbling in my belly is on to something. "You wanted to see little old me, the boy who fucked up your life, on your anniversary...and that kiss still meant nothing to you? Izuku, c'mon. I know you."

Deku busies himself with picking at his cuticles, a nervous telltale he's had all our lives. "No, you don't. Not anymore."

I pin him to the wall, caressing his jawline with my knuckles. Running my warm breath down his neckline, I goad him because I'm not the only one who's going to be vulnerable today. No way. "You sure about that?"

He leans away and his breath hitches. He hesitates... this is the dance we do. I can feel his heart palpitating against my chest and get a faint whiff of pheromones through his sweat. I am aroused. "I am in a committed relationship," he tells me, barely above a whisper. "A-And I'm still in love with him."

Who's he tryna convince?

"But are you happy?"

Deku snaps his head at me like a haze clearing and shoves me away. Again. "Who are you to ask me that?"

There's something...off...about this interaction that reminds me of...

Settling into my desk chair, I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I'm making careless miscalculations. "You're right, never mind." This constant rejection is a disappointing shock to my ego; I thought Deku would always hold a lit candle for me. I sigh, resigned to this new reality, and lean back. "Listen, Deku. I regret telling you never to come back here. We had so much fun together watching All Might's highlights, remember?" I peer around to look him in the eye.

He refuses to meet me. His focus is on the window as if watching a distant memory replay in the clouds. "Like it was yesterday," he replies with a wistful smile. I've missed that wonderful smile.

This is it. Don't be a bitch, Katsuki. Don't chicken out.

I grunt, covering my eyes, frustration boiling over my body. "The last time we played here…" Letting out a deep sigh, I sit up to face him but he's already staring down at me. "Look, I'm sorry for how it ended. I was young and confused and caught off guard-"

"Oh, and I wasn't!"

I close my eyes; this is the selfishness he was talking about, isn't it? "...Right. Of course, you were."

"You knew I didn't purposely kiss you when we were six, right? It was a total accident."

"...Yes. I know that now, as an adult. Again, I'm sorry for decking you in the nose." I let the ball slip out of my grasp and roll across my bed. "But, back then…it…stirred up new emotions within me that I couldn't understand and didn't know how to make sense of." Scratching my head, I look at the baseball in my hand.

TELL HIM.

"Izuku, since then, I—"

It tumbles out of him. "I'm going to propose to Shoto!"

A question I never asked stops my heart.

"Huh," I gasp.

"Katsuki!" Our heads snap toward the door. "Come down here now! It's time to cut your cake," my old lady yells from two floors down. I just realized the music drowning out the drunken old folks has died.

Deku glances my way and I swear I see a hint of longing in his eyes but he blinks and it's gone like a ghost. "I should go…" He finally says, heading towards the door. My lungs deflate— in disappointment, in relief.

"Yeah, me too, but, you should know, Dek-Izuku." I stare into his softly stern face. "I came back to Japan to make things right with you." I get up and straighten my clothes at the edge of my bed, too nervous to look at him. "And I don't regret kissing you. Happy anniversary."

Those two confessions— one, years in the making, and the other a promise to be honest with myself moving forward, leave my throat bone-dry. If I say another word I might choke on my tears.

He walks past me and takes hold of the doorknob. "I'll see you on Iida's bachelor trip. We'll finish this conversation then." He glanced over his shoulder. "Welcome home."

"Okay," I stammer as my heart leaps out of my mouth. "Thanks." Slight nods are exchanged; a tingling premonition runs down my spine that things may still be salvageable between us. My plan to repair what I broke all those years ago is still on track.

But I'm a petty, stubborn bull, and old habits die hard.

I step behind him, focusing on the back of his head as he stands in the doorway. "Oh, and tell Icy Hot I said it was kind of him to show up last night. Congrats to you boys." I couldn't resist.

My bedroom door slams shut in my face.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!" I grunt, "I do this shit to myself," shaking my head, then follow after him.

ch. 10 is scheduled for an early september release! (๑✧ ³✧) don't forget, this is a parallel story to Book II: Someone to Shoto and fills in the gaps here (and vice versa).

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i hope reading this was PLUS ULTRA!

~BKG OUT~ ( ◣∀◢)ψ

[I don't own the rights to MHA.]