Jon's Sick
Odie was bouncing through the hall yipping happily when he came to a sudden stop upon seeing Garfield standing in front of the door, his hands behind his back, in a gesture of unease.
"We got problems, boy," Garfield told him and pointed to the bedroom door, "Jon's sick."
Odie made a 'huh?' sound in whimpering question.
"We're gonna have to fend for ourselves for a while, this could get ugly," Garfield turned to the 4th wall and asked, "who's going to change my sand box?"
Odie whined inquisitively as he saw the big pot of water on the stove.
Garfield stood on a step stool wielding a large spoon as he explained, "Chicken soup is supposed to help sick people. We can feed it to Jon."
The lid on the pot shot up revealing a giant chicken was in the pot. It stuck its head up and squawked worriedly, Garfield beat on the lid with the spoon and told it, "Get back in there!" He smirked as he added, "You'll make enough chicken soup for all of us for a week."
Garfield inhaled a big whiff of the contents boiling in the pot and sighed contentedly. "Hot chicken soup, with just the right amount of seasoning, and egg noodles, and..." he turned to the 4th wall and assumed a wide-eyed look of shock, "what're you looking at me like that for? What kind of barbarian do you think I am?" He smiled and explained, "We had the grocery store deliver."
Odie barked as he and the chicken sat at the table, waiting for their bowls to be filled.
"Hey," Garfield shrugged with one shoulder, "they eat eggs, what's the difference?"
"Jon still can't get out of bed," Garfield told Odie the next day. "As much as it kills me to say this..." he swallowed hard, "we're going to have to take over his chores."
"Huh?" Odie grunted.
"Yeah, I know," Garfield said as they walked through the hall, "but even for Jon it'd be a pretty rotten thing for him to have to clean a dirty house after having the flu. We'll just do enough to keep the board of health off our backs until Jon's well again."
"Hmm," Garfield said as he walked up to the washer and dryer, "how hard can this be?"
He opened the door of the dryer since it was his height, and looked in. The first thing he saw was the lint trap.
"Ye-uck!" he turned his head to the side and stuck his tongue out. "It looks like the inside of Odie's belly button."
He pulled the trap out and found the layer of dark blue fuzz thick enough to actually pull out.
"Well that was painless enough," Garfield said as he slammed the trap back into place, then leaned inside the dryer, "hmm, this looks interesting."
He started to climb in, then felt a breeze from somewhere and heard the disheartening sound of the door slamming shut behind him.
"Huh? What the-"
The next thing he heard was an awful buzzing sound as the dryer came to life and he felt himself being thrown around in a circle as the air got hot.
"Odie! Odie, help!"
Odie came rushing into the laundry room and looked around for his friend, whimpering with worry.
"Odie, help! I'm trapped in the dryer! Shut it off!"
Odie climbed on top of the dryer and looked at the knobs and buttons and decided to try them all.
"Ow! That's air dry! Odie, stop the dryer!"
The yellow dog tried again.
"That's not it either, turn it off, Odie! Turn it off!"
Odie whimpered louder as he tried to figure it out. He turned the dial all the way around and the machine made a loud mechanical click as it finally came to a stop.
The door popped open and Garfield was found laying on his back in the middle of the dryer, his hair sticking up in unruly spikes all over his body, big blue sparks of static electricity emitting from him.
"Odie," Garfield said in a dazed tone, his eyes huge and blankly staring, "I think I need a static cling sheet."
Garfield finished brushing out his fur so it all laid down again. Now for the washer. The door was on top of the machine, so Garfield had to climb up on it, grab the lid and push it up against the control board.
"Hmm," he said as he gazed down at the agitator, "I wonder what that's for?"
The cupboard was right over his head, he reached up and opened it and found a big blue jug of fabric softener.
"Add one lid full to each load," he read off the label. He scratched his head as he thought, then shrugged and poured some into the machine. He screwed the lid on and put the jug back, then lost his footing and fell in with a pronounced yelp.
The lid slammed shut and the washer turned itself on, filling with water and starting to spin.
"Odie!" Garfield yelled. "Odie, help!"
Odie came rushing back into the room and quickly realized Garfield wasn't in the dryer again. He climbed up on the washer, turned the dial to 'off', then pulled the lid up.
One orange paw grabbed hold of the top of the washer, then the other and Garfield pulled himself up, shaken up, exhausted, and all of his fur fluffed up, his tail fluffed into a ball on the end like a poodle, just like the time he tried to make himself cute to get Jon's steak.
"I'll tell you something, Odie ol' boy," he commented, "that fabric softener really works."
Garfield kept his eyes closed while Odie ran the blow dryer over his fur. A minute later the dog shut it off and Garfield brushed his fur out again.
"Jon better get well soon," Garfield commented, "him being sick is hazardous to my health."
Garfield stood up on his tiptoes to reach into the cupboard again and took out an empty box.
"We're out of laundry detergent," he announced.
Odie barked in response.
"We're out of dish soap too?" Garfield asked. "Well isn't that just ducky?"
Odie jabbered in response.
Garfield's eyes got bigger. "What's that? They sell stuff at the grocery store that's not food?" He turned to the 4th wall and asked, "Who knew?"
"Here, Odie," Garfield patted the metal shopping cart, "you sit in it so you can reach the high shelves."
Odie let out a half coherent sound that resembled an 'okay' and climbed up and sat on the fold down partition.
Garfield snickered to himself as he grabbed the cart, stepped back a few paces, then gave it a good shove and sent Odie speeding down aisle 5, the little dog whimpering the whole way.
"Have a nice trip, Odie!" Garfield called after him.
The cart came to a dead stop at the end of the aisle when it collided with a pyramid display of boxed cookies.
"Steee-rike!" Garfield punched the air victoriously with his fist.
He turned and saw a dumbstruck stock boy in an apron with a pencil behind his ear, eyes wide staring in disbelief at the sight before him.
"Uhh," Garfield grinned sheepishly and pointed to Odie, "he did it."
"Turn here, Odie," Garfield said as he stood in the cart and wielded the shopping list like a treasure map.
Odie whined and whimpered as he sweated and struggled to push the cart around the corner to the next aisle. They'd found the dish and laundry soap and picked up several cans of Odie's dog food, milk, bread, potato chips, watermelon and butter.
Garfield gasped and intertwined his paws as he saw they were entering the frozen food aisle.
"Stop here, Odie!"
The yellow dog let out an exhausted whine as he stopped pushing the cart and slid down against the back wheels.
Garfield gazed up into the tall freezers that were half fogged over but he was still able to see all the boxes inside.
"Look at it, Odie!" Garfield said, waving his paw, "it's everything we could ever want! Spaghetti and meatballs, macaroni and cheese, turkey and stuffing, Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes, chicken fettuccine, pot pies, frozen pizzas with pepperoni, extra cheese, sausage, Canadian bacon! This is Heaven!" he leaped out of the cart and grabbed hold of one of the freezer doors. "I want to move here!"
The door flew open and Garfield found his feet dangling in the air as he tried to swing it back shut again. He settled for climbing back into the cart, and from there he was able to get a better look at the contents on the shelves. His eyes doubled in size and he gasped even louder, "FROZEN LASAGNA!" He jumped into the freezer and dumped several large boxes into the cart. "We'll never have to cook again!"
Odie looked up and whined questioningly.
"Don't worry about it," Garfield replied as he climbed back into the cart, "of course we can afford it." He pulled out a brown billfold and noted, "I brought Jon's wallet, and just our luck, it has his credit card in it."
"Uhhh," Garfield said as he and Odie paused on the sidewalk at the curb, carrying several paper bags of groceries. "Did it look like this when we left?"
Odie made a half coherent 'I don't know' sound.
They looked at the grass, which was standing over a foot tall, and about hid half of the house.
"I had a dream about this once," Garfield said grimly, "but the house was for sale and boarded up."
Odie whined in response.
Garfield held the groceries against his chest and walked up the sidewalk, "Once we get the food put away, we better see if we can get the mower started. Or find a machete."
"Okay, let's see," Garfield said as he sat in the seat for the power mower. "Gas?"
Odie unscrewed one lid and stuck his nose in and barked affirmatively.
"Oil?"
Odie found another lid to unscrew and pulled out a dipstick, he barked again as he screwed it back on.
"Let's see if this works then," Garfield said half under his breath as he turned the key, "contact!"
The mower made a noise but didn't start up. Garfield looked down and bellowed to the dog, "Odie, step on the pedal."
"Ruff-ruff!" Odie saluted as he walked around to the side of the mower and climbed up on it to hold the pedal down.
Garfield turned the key again and this time the mower roared to life and vibrated like a jackhammer in an earthquake.
"W-w-w-w-w-whoa!" Garfield exclaimed as he grabbed the steering wheel for dear life. He was already seeing two of everything and tried to reach the controls. He pressed the lever down on what looked like the second turtle, but turned out to be the first and only rabbit, and the mower tore out of the garage at 5 1/2 miles an hour, but it felt a lot quicker to the two pets who had no idea what they were doing and threw their heads back with their mouths open wide as they screamed in terror. They mowed one clean strip through the grass, over the sidewalk, through the flower bed, and clear down the block before finally coming to a crashing halt when it rode into the back of a garbage truck.
"Okay," Garfield said in a dazed tone with crossed eyes as he and Odie staggered back to their own yard, "time for plan B."
Odie crossed his feet over one another as he staggered alongside Garfield and let out a weak "ruff-ruff" in agreement.
Garfield looked around anxiously as he hurriedly stuck the flowers back in the bed and patted the dirt down around them.
"There, now Mrs. Feeny won't have any idea what happened," he tried to convince himself as he wiped a bead of sweat off the side of his face, "it's a good thing she's in Miami for the week though." He looked to the 4th wall and added, "Don't worry, the grass is getting trimmed."
He stepped aside so Odie was visible, romping and barking as he chased after a butterfly, all the while a scythe tied to his tail swung back and forth whacking down the tall grass.
"Whew," Garfield wiped the sweat from his brow, "Jon better not ever get sick again, Odie. I've already done enough good deeds to last the rest of my nine lives."
Odie whined in agreement as they finished unloading the groceries.
Garfield looked at three boxes that had been left out and said, "I'll pop these pot pies in the oven for lunch. You got the beef, Jon got the turkey, and I got," he held up a box the size of an apple pie, "a jumbo chicken pot pie."
The top of the box popped up, as did a chicken inside the box that raised its head and let out a large crowing cluck.
"Get back in there," Garfield said as he shoved its head back inside the box, and scowled as he looked to the 4th wall, "I hate running gags."
"Folding laundry, okaaaaay," Garfield said uncertainly as he hauled a large pile of clothes from the dryer into the living room and dumped it all out on the floor, then looked at it curiously as if trying to figure out how this was going to work.
Odie barked a couple times.
"I agree," Garfield said, "this is going to take a while...might as well have some fun with it."
Half an hour later most of the laundry was still on the floor as Garfield grabbed shirt sleeves and pant legs and extracted a single sock and asked Odie, "Got any green socks?"
Odie pored over the pile of mismatched socks he'd collected like a hand of cards and barked two syllables that sounded like 'go fish'.
"Okaaay..." Garfield looked under another shirt and asked, "got any yellow socks?"
Odie made a gasping sound as he grunted and jumped to all fours with a yellow argyle sock in his teeth.
"It's not the right pattern, but it's the same color anyway," Garfield said as he took the sock and stuck it with the solid yellow one. He looked to the 4th wall and shrugged, "What do you want from me? I'm just a cat." He proceeded to pull one of Jon's shirts out of the pile and noted, "A loose thread...I'll just pull it out."
RRrrrripp!
Garfield's eyes got big as he saw the whole sleeve dangling off the shirt.
Jon stepped out of the bedroom tying his bathrobe over his pajamas and said in a half congested voice, "Garfield, I'm starting to feel better so I'm going to...Garfield? Odie?"
The silence he was met with disturbed him. He padded into the kitchen, surprisingly the fat orange cat wasn't there. Jon doubled back and checked out the living room. He stopped in the doorway and his eyes bulged in a double take.
Garfield and Odie were sprawled on the couch in very unnatural and uncomfortable positions, snoring loudly in a dead sleep. Jon looked at this sight with more than mild curiosity, then noticed the large pile of folded clothes in the basket on the floor next to the couch.
Confused, Jon backtracked to the kitchen, and looking around he noticed the dishes were done and the table was clean.
Still confused, Jon headed to the front of the house, looked out the window and saw the grass was cut.
Jon felt a warm feeling in his heart as he realized the boys had taken over the housework while he was sick.
Returning to the kitchen, Jon put the kettle on the stove to make a cup of tea. While he waited for the water to boil, he happened to look out the back window to the garage and the tool shed and he couldn't help wondering, Where's the lawn mower?
A/N: The reference to Garfield making himself fluffy and cute to get Jon's steak is from the July 30th, 1978 comic strip.