Disclaimer!
I do not own the Harry Potter: Books, Movies, Plays, Games, or Characters!
.
.
.
Chapter 1: Mystery Kidnapper
.
.
.
Friday 5 Sep 09:38 pm
Unknown - We're still on for drinks later yeah?
Friday 5 Sep 09:40 pm
Um, I'm sorry but, who is this?
Friday 5 Sep 09:41 pm
Unknown - Oh, very funny Blaise. (eye roll emoji)
Friday 5 Sep 09:41 pm
Unknown - Are we still on for later or not?
Friday 5 Sep 09:43 pm
Again, I'm sorry, but I have no idea who you are. I think you must have the wrong number, because I'm certainly not Blaise.
Friday 5 Sep 09:46 pm
Unknown - Amused, Blaise? Have a right laugh at my expense are you? Because I'm certainly not. (half frown side eye emoji) I thought you said we were all good now, so why in Merlin's name are you taking the piss out of me with this wrong number bollocks?
Friday 5 Sep 09:50 pm
I'm truly sorry, whomever you are, but I am NOT Blaise Zabini. You should go speak to him in person. He'll tell you that he never received any of these messages, and if you still have doubts, check his phone. Best of luck with that.
Friday 5 Sep 09:53 pm
Unknown - Oh for Salazar's sake, CUT THE BULLSHITE ZABINI! This has got to be the most annoying 'prank' you've pulled yet! I swear I'm going to hex the life out of you the next time I see you, you prat! (british two finger salute emoji)
Friday 5 Sep 09:56 pm
Ugh, how many times must I remind you that I'm NOT Blaise? You've got the wrong number. Shouldn't you remember your own friend's number? Assuming that you and Blaise even get on. Though judging by these texts I'd say it could be either or.
Friday 5 Sep 09:57 pm
Unknown - Fuck off. (british two finger salute emoji)
Friday 5 Sep 11:06 pm
Unknown - I um, talked to Blaise like you suggested.. I believe I owe you an apology.
Friday 5 Sep 11:11 pm
Apology accepted, though I'd appreciate not being told to 'fuck off', for future reference. How did things go with him anyway? I can't imagine too well if you lead with calling him a prat.
Friday 5 Sep 11:15 pm
Unknown - Really, you'll accept my apology, just like that? Even though I haven't technically apologized yet? Also yes, if you must know, we got into it right away. As soon as I brought up the text messages though, he looked so genuinely confused and caught off guard. So I ended up taking my phone out and showing him what I was on about. He immediately whipped his own out to prove that yours and his numbers don't match. Which I suppose would make ME the prat in this situation huh? (male face palming emoji)
Friday 5 Sep 11:17 pm
Well yeah, you're clearly sorry, so why wouldn't I? I'm glad you two worked things out by the way. Did you end up getting drinks after all?
Friday 5 Sep 11:23 pm
Unknown - Not going to acknowledge that I called myself a prat then? I'll assume that means you agree, not that I could blame you for doing so. I'm sure a lot of people would agree with you there. Yeah, we're at The Leaky Cauldron right now.
Friday 5 Sep 11:24 pm
Unknown - Which, in hindsight, is probably something I shouldn't have told a complete and utter stranger. (male face palming emoji)
Friday 5 Sep 11:27 pm
What, that you're at The Leaky Cauldron right now? If it makes you feel any better, I'm not anywhere near there, nor do I have any intentions of attempting to hunt you down. Also, seeing as we both know who Blaise is, it's safe to assume we're not complete and utter strangers. Is it safe to assume that you go to Hogwarts as well? As for you being a prat, you thought you were being had by your friend. I get why you'd be upset and frustrated. Why do you think people feel that way about you?
Friday 5 Sep 11:35 pm
Unknown - I'll believe that if I don't wake up dead tomorrow morning. Yes I am a student along with Blaise. Shall I assume that you do as well given your wording? I just seem to be very polarizing, always pushing people's buttons, even when I don't mean to.
Friday 5 Sep 11:37 pm
You can't 'wake up dead' tomorrow if you're dead, so either way, you won't be waking up dead tomorrow. Are you in the same year as Blaise? I am, a seventh year Hogwarts student I mean. I'm sure you're not that bad, we're always the harshest on ourselves. From what I can tell, you seem quite lovely.
Friday 5 Sep 11:45 pm
Unknown - Touché. I'm a seventh year as well, so I suppose we do know each other after all. Even if vaguely and only through word of mouth. I'm not sure if I find that thought reassuring or not. Lovely, lovely, YOU think I'M lovely? (laughing crying emoji) Oh, Merlin's beard, thanks for the laugh. I needed that. Blaise is impossible to be around when sloshed.
Friday 5 Sep 11:48 pm
Really? Cool! What house are you in? Wouldn't it be less reassuring if I was a stranger on my way to kidnap you though? Well I do live to serve, lol. Why are you even having drinks with Blaise then?
Friday 5 Sep 11:55 pm
Unknown - Why do you want to know what house I'm in? What house are YOU in hmm? (rubbing chin emoji)
I suppose you may have a point there. Although depending on who you are, I might prefer the mystery kidnapper.
What are you, a house elf?
Because we fought earlier and this was my concession in order for him to forgive me.
Friday 5 Sep 11:58 pm
So I can narrow things down, plus I'm curious. Unless you'd like to skip the guessing and tell me your name? Gee thanks, your faith in me is astounding. No, I do have sub tendencies though. What did you fight over? Wait never mind that's probably personal, sorry. I would be open to hearing about it though if you felt like talking about it. Also what's with the spaces?
Saturday 6 Sep 12:10 am
Unknown - Curious yet you won't answer your own question reflected back to you. That hardly seems fair now.
Well, you never know. You could be someone I completely despise.
Do I even want to know what you mean by 'sub tendencies'? (pair of eyes emoji)
Just stupid petty stuff. Nothing you need to concern yourself with.
The spaces make the conversation easier to follow. Since we're talking about multiple things at once.
Saturday 6 Sep 12:12 am
I never said I was fair. (tongue sticking out emoji)
Who's on your top five kill list?
I don't know, do you? (smirking emoji)
Alright then.
It really does, and the messages don't feel so bulky and squished together!
Saturday 6 Sep 12:20 am
Unknown - Not a Hufflepuff then.
What in Merlin's name is a 'top five kill list'? (blank stare no mouth emoji)
Are, are you flirting with me right now? (eye emoji)(mouth emoji)(eye emoji)
Also, I see that you've copied my text formatting as well as my use of emojis. I cannot tell if that's because you're a natural follower, or because my natural leadership and trend setting skills shine through even on 'parchment'. (eyes closed peaceful smiling face emoji)
Saturday 6 Sep 12:22 am
What- hey! Hufflepuffs can be unfair selfish jerks as much as any other house! Shame on you for stereotyping!
You know, a list of people from one to five, who you'd kill if you could get away with it without repercussions.
I don't know, am I? (winking emoji)
It's definitely both. God that's hot.
Side note, you text rather well for a drunk person.
Saturday 6 Sep 12:33 am
Unknown - You're right, my deepest and most sincere apologies. People can be arseholes no matter what colour their tie is. I shall strive to do better in the future. (downcast expression emoji)
And you know this how? You have a list don't you? Great, I'll be dead come morning after all.
If you are this is a rather poor attempt.
What exactly do you find hot now?
That's because I'm not drunk, just buzzed. We'd never make it back to Hogwarts if I let myself get as plastered as Blaise is right now.
Saturday 6 Sep 12:33 am
Unknown - (picture of Blaise laying on the bar top with an arm hanging over the edge surrounded by shot glasses)
I mean, just look at him! (eye roll emoji)
Saturday 6 Sep 12:47 am
I'm glad you've learned your lesson, young person.
I do, but we're not talking about mine right now, we're talking about yours. So come on now, let's see that top five kill list!
Okay, ow, you don't have to be so harsh. (single tear drop crying frowning emoji)
Good luck dragging him back to the nearest floo.
Saturday 6 Sep 12:50 am
Unknown - Young person, what are you, ancient? (sideways laughing crying emoji)
I don't have one you psycho. Let's hear yours then since it's all primed and ready!
I can't tell if you're taking the mickey or if I've actually hurt your feelings. (quirks eyebrow emoji)
Why drag him when I can levitate him? (white bearded wizard with staff emoji)
Saturday 6 Sep 12:55 am
Hey, respect your elders! Also I don't know your gender so I couldn't use 'young man' or whatever.
Fine then, but after this you'd better think of one:
1. Astoria Greengrass
2. Pansy Parkinson
3. Hermione Granger
4. Ginny Weasley
5. Cho Chang
A bit of both..
Good point.
Saturday 6 Sep 12:57 am
Unknown - Merlin, did these women all talk shite about you behind your back or something? Turn down your offer for a shag? What'd Astoria and Pansy ever bloody well do to you? Is it because they're Slytherins? Did it ever occur to you, that since Blaise is my friend, I might be friendly with other Snakes as well? That I might not take it too well that those two ladies in particular are at the top of your stupid fucking kill list? Do you EVER think before you voice your opinions, written or not?
Saturday 6 Sep 01:58 am
I- no- I'm sorry. It's not because of their house, I'm not like that. It's just that the person I fancy seems to be interested in them, and that kills me on the inside. I'm sorry I've upset you.. I'll just, go now..
Saturday 6 Sep 02:00 am
Unknown - Ugh, wait. (male facepalming emoji)
Saturday 6 Sep 02:01 am
Unknown - Come back.
Saturday 6 Sep 02:10 am
Unknown - Explain this all to me.
Saturday 6 Sep 02:48 am
Unknown - I'm sorry I snapped at you like that, I let my anger get the best of me. I should've asked for an explanation first. I'd still be open to hearing a more detailed explanation if you'd be willing.
Saturday 6 Sep 03:27 am
Unknown - Goodnight, Mystery Kidnapper.