Born to Run Chapter 9: Nine, a walking dead fanfic

The Outbreak: Day 71

Daryl

Haley didn't say anything after that just kissed me until I was hard again and let me fuck her until her name was my only thought. The only word I could whisper against her soft lips.

She fell asleep curled against me once we were finally spent and that's where I left her burrowed deep under one of the borrowed blankets as I gathered my bow and my jacket and headed into the woods to continue my search for Sophia.

There's no tracks no more signs that she's close by. No sign of her at all. My side throbs with every step I take but the ache in the center of my chest is what hurts me. This crippling fear of emotions I know nothing about. Haley said she loves me or that she thinks she loves me and either way that's the closest anyone's ever came to saying those words to me before. My own mother never bothered. Merle, I guess he tried to show me he gave a shit but he's as fucked up as I am.

Thoughts of Haley fill my head again sending another surge of emotion through my chest. Her enchanted eyes, her fucking body - the way she feels. The way she makes me fucking feel. I want to love her but I have no fucking idea where to start. I care about her. I don't want anythin' to happen to her but I don't know if that's enough.

I shake the thought and try to focus on the task at hand. Saving Sophia. That's what fucking matters not me or Haley or all these fucked up feelings. I've tried so hard to stay positive but that little girl ain't in these woods. I would have found her by now, alive or as a walker. I don't want to be the one to tell Carol but I think Shane's right. It's time to start callin' a pig a pig.

Sophia ain't never comin' back.

I circle back to the farm by mid morning stumbling upon a powwow outside of the barn where Glenn mentioned Hershel is keeping his family of walkers.

If the barns secure let them be. Everybody's got weird shit they're into. The man doesn't want to put a knife in his wife's brain, I get it.

Shane of course doesn't feel the same way. Dead eye'd prick. It ain't my place to tell Rick his business but he needs to keep an eye on that one before he puts a knife in his back. I watch from the tree line as Hershel and Rick herd walkers towards the barn where Shane is yelling and stomping around like the idiot he is and then he storms towards Hershel and puts a bullet in the herded walker's head.

I watch Shane yell some more then run back to the barn with an axe - hitting the lock forcefully. He's trying to let the walkers out - he's going to get them all fucking killed.

I glance around the crowd of people spotting Haley with Carol, a look of horror on her face as I take off across the field quickly.

"Get back!" I yell to Haley and Carol standing in front of them as I send a bolt into the head of the walker Rick's herding - allowing him to go to Shane who has just broken the lock off the barn door. "Don't do this!" Glenn yells from somewhere behind me as Hershel falls to his knees frozen in horror as his friends and family begin emerging from the barn snarling and reaching for anyone they can.

Our group opens fire taking out the walkers as they come, dropping them to the ground one by one until all is quiet except for The Green families sobs and sorrow. The old man looks lost - eyes roaming over the bodies laying in front of him as something moves the barn door bringing everyone's attention back to the structure.

Shane lifts his gun as a lone walker pushes through the door, a little girl with short blonde hair and a blue rainbow shirt shuffles into the light and I hear Carol scream - watch her jerk away from Haley violently as she runs to her daughter. I drop the bow and wrap my arms around Carol as she passes and we tumble to the ground, holding her back from being devoured by Sophia.

Carol sobs, laying her face in the dirt as we watch the little girl stumble over dead bodies - her snarls barely audible over her mother's cries. Rick is looking to Shane then back to Lori and Carl and then to me but I've got nothing for him. A hollow feeling is seeping into my bones as I tighten my grasp on Carol. "Don't look." I grumble against her ear, her screams deafening.

This whole time she was in that barn? This whole fucking time?!

Rick pulls his gun aiming it at the little girls face before pulling the trigger and the woman in my arms wails fill the farm land.

I crack my neck ignoring the constant pain that radiates through my body as I continue to sharpen sticks focusing on the knife sliding over the wood. I don't want to think about any of this shit anymore. Not Carol. Not Sophia. Not this fucking ache inside of me. I feel it in my muscles, my bones… in my fucking heart. Four days we searched for this kid and she was right under our noses held up in some fucking barn.

Like an animal.

"Fuck!" I sling the stick and push to my feet idly wondering where I last saw Haley. She spends most of her days in the stables with Hershel's daughter or out in fields watching the cattle. I'm going to go find her and lose myself in her blissful fucking silence. Replacing my knife I turn to leave and spot Rick's wife marching towards me. Fucking great. "Listen, Beth's in some kind of catatonic shock. We need Hershel."

"Yeah? So what?" I snap, my fingers clenching into fists by my side. "So I need you to run into town real quick and bring him and Rick back."

I ain't these people's fucking errand boy, ain't no dog to train to do their biddings. "You want him? Go fetch him yourself. I got better things to do."

Lori stands with her mouth hanging open looking at me like I just slapped her mama. "What's the matter with you? Why are you being so selfish?"

A white hot rage fills me. The nerve of this bitch. "Selfish? I was out there every day lookin' for that little girl! I took an arrow in the process! Don't you tell me about getting my hands dirty!"

I am spitting mad and this Olive Oyl looking bitch is just gaping at me like I'll change my mind. I ain't Rick Grimes bitch. "You want those two idiots? Have a nice ride! I'm done lookin' for people."

I watch her storm off sitting back down on the ground as I rake my hands through my hair. Fuck this shit. I look around noting Merle's bike and the few items I've got to my name. Haley knows how to fold that tent up pretty small we might be able to stuff it in the saddle bag. All I wanted was to go find her and fuck her until she's the only thought in my head again but now I just want to get the fuck out of here and I want her with me.

She says she loves me - she'll come with me.

I look up as Carol replaces Lori and narrow my eyes. Always the wrong woman showing up to talk to me because Haley's the only one who knows sometimes I'm best to be left alone.

"What are you doing?" I snap, watching Carol study the dozen dead squirrels I've got pinned up around us. "Keeping an eye on you."

I laugh without humor and shake my head. I don't fucking need her to keep an eye on me, ask Sophia where that'll get you. "Ain't you a peach." I snap and begin gathering my things. I'm getting the fuck out of here as soon as I find a little rabbit to take with me.

"I'm not gonna let you pull away. You've earned your place."

The muscles in my back tense at her words. Earned my fucking place? I'll take this fucking place from all of them! I ain't the weakest link in this scenario. "If you spent half your time minding your daughter's business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's she'd still be alive!" I yell narrowing my eyes and closing the space between us. These self righteous bitches are getting on my last god damn nerve.

"Go ahead." Carol says softly and I have no idea what the fuck she's talking about. "Go ahead and what?" I yell spitting venom and clenching my fists. I'd never hit a woman - even if Merle's buried ten feet deep he'd show up to kick my ass for that but fuck I want to. I want to smack the fucking sorry ass look right off her face.

Carol remains quiet as I pace in front of her. "Just go! I don't want you here! Jus' give me some god damn peace and quiet!"

"Daryl. Please. People care about you here." I watch tears well up in her eyes and it only makes me angrier. I don't give two fucks about these people - not Rick or Shane or her. Just Haley. I need to find Haley and get the fuck out of here. "You ain't my problem! All you had to do was keep an eye on her!"

I watch her tears fall. "Please don't do this. I've already lost my girl." I step back on my heels and narrow my eyes. I should have never came here with these people. Should have never stopped searching for my brother. My fucking blood. "Yeah? That wasn't my problem neither."

"The whole point of me comin' up here is to get away from you people."

Haley frowns at my words. "Is that all I am to you? Jus' you people?" Her question only makes me angrier. I want to yell at her - push her away like I did Carol. Tell her she doesn't mean shit to me but instead I just sink back down to my ass and lean my back against a tree, raking my hands over my face and into my hair. "I almost died lookin' for a fuckin' ghost. These people - all they see me as is some fuckin' dog to be trained."

She closes the space between us and sits close to my side, placing her hand on my thigh as I turn my head to look at her. The suns setting around us casting a fiery orange glow over the field and she looks so fucking beautiful beside me, her miscolored eyes full of worry and nearly glowing hazel and green with the sunlight. "That's not true. They see you as someone they can trust and depend on."

I scoff at the thought and turn my eyes away from hers. "Yeah? What about you? What do you think?" I ask - already knowing the answer. An answer I'm not ready for.

Haley

"You belong here with us. With me."

I don't know if he's heard me or if he's even listening as I watch him stare off across the field, his blue eyes dark despite the fiery glow around us.

"If I leave this farm…, will you come with me?" His voice is whisper quiet, his eyes falling to my hand on his leg. He's leaving? He wants us to leave? Winter is right around the corner. Being exposed to the elements is suicide. This farm is the safest place for us right now. "It's alright. If you don't wanna." He goes on and I squeeze his thigh, turning my body to his as our eyes meet again and I place my hand on his chest then to his jaw. "Of course I'll go with you. I was just thinking about how cold it's going to get…, and all the ways we'll have to keep warm."

Daryl looks up to me slowly as my grin spreads - bringing on his own. "You and that sharp tongue, Rabbit." He mutters and shakes his head. I watch his humor fade as he takes his face from my grasp. "I don't know if I can keep ya safe out there. In the cold - there's more dangers than just walkers. Sickness, starvation. Ain't not life for you."

"Now you're trying to talk me out of it? What do you want from me Daryl?"

He looks at me again, studying me for a long moment as he tries to decide and I watch him sit up straighter and move his face towards mine. When our mouths are nearly touching and his eyes are trained on my lips he speaks and the words come out deep, vibrating in my chest. "I want you to love me, Rabbit…, and keep me fuckin' sane in all of this shit."

I nod and assure him I do love him just before he kisses me, pressing his mouth to mine. A soft sigh escapes me as I open for him and let his slow tongue meet mine - kissing me like I may disappear if he stops.

I let my fingers slide to his neck, holding him to me as our foreheads meet and we try to catch our breath. "I wouldn't do anything to put you in danger, Rabbit. We'll stay here through the winter…, see where it takes us. Maybe find us a nice summer home to ourselves in a few months." I smile at the thought and nod, kissing him again quickly. "I'm with you Daryl. Whatever you need to do just don't' leave me behind, okay?"

"Okay." He mumbles against my lips, forcing his tongue back into my mouth as I pull him towards me and lay back on the ground - bringing his body down to mine as his rough hands slide up my arms, pinning them over my head while he kisses a line from my jaw to my collar bone.

"Somebody might come up here looking for you." I remind him, the air rushing from my lungs as he tangles one hand into my hair - biting at my neck as a deep groan fills my chest. "Don't care." He assures me, pressing his fast growing erection into my thigh as his wicked tongue continues down my throat and he runs his other hand into my shirt - bringing it up to my neck to take my nipple into his mouth. "…oh god…" I hiss, running my fingers into the back of his hair as he gives the other the same attention before lapping his tongue over my ribs and down to my navel. "Daryl…" I gasp, his fingers gripping the waist of my jeans - jerking them down roughly, barely getting them to my knees before sinking his tongue into me - clutching my hips to bring me down to his eager mouth.

I say his name again, feeling my insides vibrate with the growl that leaves him as he licks like a man starved, my body arching as a wave of pleasure ignites through me and I cover my mouth to muffle the sounds. Daryl grips my hips, lifting his head as his deep voice washes over my shaking body. "Let me hear you, Rabbit." He demands roughly before placing his tongue directly over my clit and licking slowly.

"Fucking hell…" I gasp, pulling at his hair as I grind my hips down into his mouth and his groans fill me - sending a ripple of pleasure into my core as my moans turn to whimpers. Daryl continues his slow torment between my thighs, fingers biting into my waist and he holds my squirming body to his skilled mouth and my whimpers turn back to moans.

Carol or Lori or fuck, Carl - one of them is going to show back up here and catch Daryl with his head between my legs. God, what if it's Carl? He's just a fucking kid. I'll never be able to look him in the eye again.

Daryl pulls away from me again, slipping two fingers inside of me as I squirm before him. "Shut off your fuckin' brain and give it to me, Rabbit." His voice is so rough and demanding and then his tongue is deep inside of me again and I let my worries go - completely focusing on the moment as those ripples of pleasure over take me and my breathing stops - stars dancing behind my eyes as my body arches to him with a cry of release.

"Good girl." Daryl growls against my jaw, kissing my throat as he works his belt loose from around his jeans. "Breathe, Haley." He whispers, teeth grazing just below my ear as I take in a shallow breath and fall back to the ground as he thrust inside of me with a desperate groan.

"…god damn, Rabbit…" His mouth finds mine, kissing me deeply as a hand sinks into my hair. "…your pussy was fuckin' made for me." Daryl whispers against my ear, thrusting into me roughly as he hangs his head beside mine - a desperate cry catching in his throat as he breaths hard against my jaw. "Haley…, I fucking… fuck…," His fingers tighten in my hair as he presses his face into the side of mine - opening his mouth to say what he's feeling but all that comes out is my name followed by a rush of profanity and then he fills me deeply with a strangled groan.

Daryl

What the fuck is wrong with me? God damn, mommy issues or some shit that makes it impossible to say three stupid words? They were caught in my throat - right there ready to assure her that I fucking love her but I'm too much of a pussy to say it.

I glance over at Haley who's laying on the ground beside me with her hands resting on her forehead, a sly smile on her perfect lips as she turns her face to mine. "You are really something, Daryl Dixon." She whispers with a soft laugh then turns her head back to the darkening sky.

"Did you hear about Beth?"

I bring my lip between my teeth, turning my eyes up to the same sky she's looking at. Dark clouds scatter across deep blue as the sun sinks behind the horizon. I heard about what Hershel's daughter did. Slit her damn wrists looking for attention while the adults are out here trying to keep her safe. Ungrateful fuckin' kid. "Wha'd I tell you about gossip, Rabbit?"

I hear her soft laugh and watch her hands go to her stomach, resting them against her ribs as she takes in a deep breath.

"I feel bad for her. She's just a kid."

"I ain't got nothing for people who take the easy way out. Even kids. She's got a whole mess of people that care about her and she was gonna leave 'em."

"She lost her mother." I look over to her slowly, watching a tear roll down the side of her face before she wipes it away. "Yeah? At least she had one to loose. You and me ain't like them Rabbit. They ain't never had to do a hard thing in their life."

Haley nods, agreeing with me and it's a god damn miracle. "I'm just worried about her. She's a good person." She assures and sits up, wiping at her face again before smiling over to me. "You can pull that tough guy - I don't give a fuck about anyone bullshit with Carol but I know better." She assures me and it bothers me how well this girl knows me and how much I care about her. I sit up and spread my legs, nodding for her to come and then watch as she slides over to me and sits between my tights with her back against my chest. "You're a good person Haley. That girl don't give a shit about you - if she'd rather off herself than keep going? She don't give a shit about nothing."

Haley doesn't answer me, just sinks her weight into my chest as I wrap my arms around hers and bury my face in the bend of her shoulder taking in a deep breath of her hair.

The Outbreak: Day 80

Haley

Dale's the only one who keeps up with time anymore and this morning, while Daryl was beating the shit out of some kid he mentioned we've been at Hershel's farm for eleven days. It feels like eleven fucking years. I run one hand into my hair and place the other on my hip as I watch Daryl walk out of the barn - his knuckles bruised and bloody and he won't look at me.

"They have heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make friends. They roll through here, our boys are dead…, and our women, they're gonna—.." I watch Daryl look down at his feet, jerking his bow up higher on his back before our eyes finally meet. "They're gonna wish they were."

The thought sends a wave of nausea through me and I find myself clutching invisible pearls as I told his gaze and Rick instructs everyone to stay away from Randall. Some kind of argument breaks out between Shane, Rick and Dale and Daryl moves closer to me and I take his hand in mine, turning it over to inspect the damage. "I'm alright." He assures me quietly, letting my eyes fall again. "You listen to Rick, alright? Stay the fuck away from that barn."

I nod having no plans to go anywhere near it or the person inside. "My guns in my bag on Merle's bike. Go get it and keep it on you. If anyone fucks with you - you shoot 'em, right between the eyes - got it?" I nod again trying to shake the fear that's creeping up my spine. We're not safe here anymore. I can see it written in Daryl's dark blue eyes.

"I gotta go talk to Rick." He mutters, jerking his hand from my grasp before pushing past me to follow the other men to their post where they discuss men stuff us women couldn't begin to understand. I roll my eyes and turn to Carol - taking her hand, assuring her everything's going to be alright.

I leave Carol at Sophia's grave, a nervous energy coursing through me as I walk down to the main camp site - gathering a few belongings and trying to tidy up. I can't just sit. Sitting makes me fucking crazy and Daryl's in no mood to keep me company right now. This kid, Randall - he comes from bad people - people who hurt women. We can't have people like that taking over Hershel's farm.

My heart begins to race in my chest as I look around for Daryl who must still be talking with the people in charge of our small group, idly wondering if he's still up for leaving this place. That thought doesn't sit well with me now either - leaving Hershel, Maggie and Beth to fend for themselves with this kid and his group. I kneel down by the empty fire pit and wrap my arms around myself taking in a deep breath.

Rick and Daryl will figure this out. They'll keep us safe.

"Haley?"

I look up to Dale as he stumbles into the camp, a deep look of concern across his face as our eyes meet and my frown deepens. He doesn't want them to hurt the boy but what choice do we have? If we let him go he'll bring his people in on us. If we keep him a prisoner we'll have to sleep with one eye open for the rest of our lives. Not to mention feed him and shelter him this winter. Take food out of our kids mouths to save a rapist piece of shit.

I shake the thought. "Hey, Dale."

"What's your thoughts on all this?" He asks standing before me now - hurt and betrayal washing over him as he shakes his head. "I…, I don't know Dale. I don't want to have some kids death on my conscious but I don't want to have our groups deaths on it either. Carl, Beth? I couldn't live with myself if something happened to them because we didn't make the right decision."

"We can't just execute him! He deserves a trial…, a… a chance to plead his case! It's what civilized people do Haley!" I look around as Dale's voice raises but we are alone at the camp. "Who says we're civilized anymore?" I ask him honestly but that just makes him angrier. "The world we knew is gone! Keeping our humanity?! That's a choice!"

The click of a gun turns our attention and the archer is standing beside us with it pointed at Dale's head. "Lower your fuckin' voice when you're talkin' to her." He growls and Dale puts his hands up in defense. "I'm sorry…, Haley. I'm sorry. I just… I don't agree with this! You act like you don't care!" He yells to Daryl who finally lowers the gun. "Yeah? 'Cause I don't."

"So live or die, you don't care what happens to Randall?"

"Nope." Daryl offers me his hand and pulls me to my feet and then to his chest.

"Then why not stand with me, try to save the kid's life, if it really doesn't matter one way or the other?"

I look between the two men. Dale is the only one in our group truly against killing Randall and that is disturbing but he has no case. We can't risk the people we care about - the kids already told the kind of person he is. "Didn't peg you for a desperate son of a bitch." Daryl mutters in answer and places his hand on my back, ushering me towards the field where he's set up camp. "Your opinion makes a difference!" Dale calls after us but we just keep walking.

"This is just a big damn mess." Daryl mutters once we're at Merle's motorcycle and then he's handing me his gun and telling me to keep it. "If that kid gets free - comes after you? You fuckin' shoot him Haley. Promise me." I nod and shove the gun behind me, secured against my back by the waist of my jeans. "Say it." Daryl growls, turning to me and searching my eyes as I part my lips and assure him I'll shoot the kid if I have to. He stares at me as if he's trying to decide if I'm telling the truth and then he sinks his hands into my hair and brings my mouth to his, kissing me slowly as my hands grip his shirt and then his vest - pulling him closer. He holds my face in his hands - searching my gaze again and I can see everything he wants to say running through his mind. All he has to do is open his mouth.

"Say it." I whisper, repeating his previous words but he lets go of me and steps back, chewing on his bottom lip. "Rick wants everyone at the house - gonna try to talk through this shit and come to a decision as a group." He says instead as I let go of his vest and take in a breath. "Yeah. Okay. That sounds fair." I assure him. "What do you really think about all of this Daryl?" I ask softly because I know he gives a shit whether it be one way or the other.

"Don't matter what I think. Rick and Shane…, they've made their decision."

"I thought we were going to decide as a group?"

Daryl smirks, shaking his head. "You ain't stupid, Rabbit. Dale's the odd man out - they're gonna kill that boy. Probably for the best - I sure as fuck don't want his people coming around you. Better I kill one boy than thirty men."

I reach out for him again and touch his torso, fisting his shirt in my grasp as I pull him back to kiss me. "I love you…, and I'm with you. Whatever you say I'll back it." I assure him as his fingers thread through my hair. "You shouldn't, Rabbit. I ain't nobody to be makin' decisions like this. We're all in over our heads here."

I wrap my arms around his middle and pull him to my chest as his hands run over my hair, holding me to him. I hear his intake of air and the words he won't say catches in his throat as he kisses the crown of my head.

Daryl

"So the answer is to kill him to prevent a crime that he may never even attempt?! If we do this, we're saying there's no hope. Rule of law is dead. There is no civilization."

I glance around the room, looking among our group - their worried faces. It's just like I said - Dale is the odd man out. Haley is standing beside me looking at her hands, the heat from her body radiating into mine as she turns her face up to me and she has tears in her eyes. My little rabbit, dealt a shit hand in life and still has compassion for people - people like this kid who sat by while his group raped two girls and made their dad watch. I tighten my grip on my bow. I should just go out to that barn and end this drama myself. Put an arrow in his skull.

I feel Haley's hand on my back, holding me in place like she can read my damn thoughts.

"I won't be a party to it. This group is broken." Dale mutters as he leaves the farmhouse, pushing past me roughly as I look up to meet Rick's eyes. "I gotta go." I mutter to Haley who fists my vest in her hand. "What? Wait. Why you? This is their problem." She says quietly forcing me to look at her. "It's all of our problem and I ain't gonna hide my head in a tent while they do the heavy lifting."

Haley opens her mouth to protest then closes it, a tear rolling down her cheek as she nods slightly and lets me go. Fuck. I want to tell her I love her and assure her all of this messy shit will be over soon - that we can go back to just having to worry about the dead but she pushes herself away from the side table and goes to Beth, ushering her into the other room.

It looks like our meeting is over and we're no better off than when we started.

I look up to the barn door as Carl stands in the threshold, telling his father to shoot the man on his knees. Fuck.

"Are you kidding me? What did I say to you?" Shane growls, storming off to Carl who's looking at us with narrowed determined eyes. Fuck I'm tired.

"Take him away!" Rick yells to Shane and then says the same to me as I jerk Randall up to his feet and shove him towards the exit. "Please! Please don't kill me!"

"Shut the fuck up."

I walk our prisoner to the smaller barn and lock him up for the night, running a hand over my tired eyes. I assume the execution has been postponed so I make my way through the foggy field where I've set up camp away from the others and spot Haley sitting alone at the low fire, her legs to her chest and chin resting on her knees as she watches the flames dance before her. I stop walking and just look at her, admiring her beauty as she wipes away the few tears that escape her beautiful eyes. Eyes alight with the fire before her, warming her face and highlighting the auburn in her hair.

"You're really beautiful." I mutter, startlingly her as she turns her face to mine - eyes going wide as I close the space between us and set my bow down, taking a seat beside her slowly. "Is it over?" She whispers, her voice barely audible as she searches my eyes carefully. I idly wonder if she's searching for my humanity. "Nah. Carl showed up - rattled Rick. We ain't no better off than we were before."

I bend forward and rest my elbows on my knees, running my hands over my face and head as I let it hang before me. I don't know if I can make it through this winter locked up in that damn house with all these people. Everybody at each other's throats. Dale will never forgive us if we kill Randall. Shane and Rick not knowing whether to fuck or fight. I sigh deeply and feel Haley's hand on my back, kneading the muscles between my shoulder blades as I try to stifle a groan.

"Feels good.." I manage to whisper as she works harder, the groan finally escaping my throat as she continues massaging her thumbs into the center of my back, moving behind me and sliding her grasp to my shoulders - massaging the tight muscles with her strong hands until I feel like I could melt into this fucking fire.

Haley leans forward and wraps her arms around my chest suddenly, resting her face against my back as I hang my head again and close my eyes. For once in maybe forever I feel weightless - like the entire world's not against me and we don't say anything - no mindless chit chat - we just sit in blissful silence with her arms around me until a scream rings out over the farm and I jerk my head up - pushing to my feet.

"Stay here." I say to Haley and don't give her time to argue - taking off into the field and towards the cries for help. Dale is lying a few yards away being ripped open by a walker - his wails of terrified agony filling my soul as I kill the threat and shove it away from him, falling to my knees in the field. "Help! Over here!" I yell as Rick, T-Dog and Shane come running towards us. "Hang in there buddy." I assure Dale who is looking at me with wide horror filled eyes and most of his insides on the outside. Fuck. "Who is it?!" Rick yells once he's on us, running his hands over his face as he takes in our fallen friend.

"Oh my god…., oh my god."

"Rick! I don't know what to do!" I yell as he sinks to his knees beside me and takes Dale's face in his hands. "Listen to me, alright? Just - listen to my voice!" He tries but I don't think he can hear us. "I think he's in shock." I whisper, but Rick's not having it. "Okay, hold on now. Get Hershel!"

Dale's eyes close and then open wide as he gasps in pain, looking between us as he bleeds out in the field. This is no use. He's gone. There's nothing Hershel can do for him. "Rick…" I try but the sheriff is beside himself staring down into Dale's frightened gaze. "We need Hershel! Listen to my voice, Dale. Alright just hold on!"

I watch in silence as Hershel makes it into the field and kneels beside Dale, looking him over as he begins to shake his head no. "We have to move him!" Rick yells, raking a hand through his hair as he looks to Shane for answers. "He won't make the trip." Hershel says calmly - trying to soothe the dying man. "Then you have to operate here!"

"Rick, he won't make it." Hershel says again, looking up at me as I stare wide eyed at the chaos before us. "Oh god! He's suffering!" It's Glenn who speaks next and the anguish in his words are heart breaking. "Glenn! Get back to the house!" Shane yells and I watch Rick stand to his feet looking up to the sky before pulling his gun from its holster. "Do something!" Glenn begs as Rick points the gun to Dale's head who is looking up at him with pleading eyes. A sob escapes Rick's throat and I watch his aim waver.

"Come on. Give it to me." I say softly, standing at Rick's side now as he looks at me with relief and hands me his pistol. I turn to Dale who with his last ounce of energy lifts his head to Rick's gun and I pull the trigger - the shot ringing out into the night. "I'm sorry, brother." I whisper and hand Rick his gun back, looking over to the devastated cop then to Haley who's standing a few feet away with her shaking hand over her mouth. As I watch her - search her tearful eyes I feel the weight of the night sink into me. Whatever headway she got at the fire is gone as my muscles tense and that familiar crippling ache washes over me, surging into every cell of my body. I turn away from them - from Rick and Haley, from what's left of Dale - all of it, leaving them alone in the field as I run a hand over my face and fight back the tears than threaten to ruin me.

I'm not exactly sure where I ended up. Maybe in the farmhouse. I only remember the motions of washing Dale's blood from my hands and arms, studying the rust colored water as it swirls down a drain. Somebody left me some clean clothes to change into and I think someone else handed me a roll from dinner but I really can't be sure. The ring of Rick's pistol is still loud in my head blocking out whatever Carol is saying to me and then I push past her and head back outside - walking past Rick and the others as they load up what's left of Dale. Rick tries to talk to me but I can only stare at him and nod, not really registering what he's saying.

I'm so fucking tired. I just want to go to sleep. I leave them to it in the field and make my way back to my camp site - staring at the dying fire as memories of sitting there with the girl I love in absolute peace returns to me and then the chaos that follows. I push past the fire - moving to the tent and sinking to my knees. Inside Haley turns - wiping the tears from her face as she sits up and opens herself to me, bringing me into her arms as I wrap mine around her tightly and bury my face in her hair. Only then does the ringing in my ears stop and all I hear is her steady breathing. All I feel is her arms tightening around me and she tries to pull the anguish from my body.

I'm so fucking tired. Keeping one arm around her back I turn and lay down with her on the shitty makeshift bed she's created for us - pulling her body back to mine as she sinks a hand into the back of my hair and curls into my chest. I hold her as she sobs, running my hand through her hair as she clings to me. This is how I finally fall asleep, entangled in Haley's embrace - my own silent tears spilling down my jaw as she tightens her hand in my hair and whispers how much she loves me against my throat.

When I wake up we're still lying in the same spot, my arms around Haley holding her to my chest but her hand has slipped from my hair to my neck - her thumb brushing over my jaw, eyebrows pressed together with worry even in sleep. My chest feels heavy - like an anvil is laying on it, filling me with dread. I need to go help the others bury Dale but I can't. I can't look at any of them right now. They may hate me for what I've done - shooting our friend but he was suffering. Suffering and I put him down like a fucking dog.

A sob rushes from my throat as I try to pull away from Haley, watching her eyes open slowly and focus on me - eyebrows tightening further as she touches my cheek. "It's okay." She assures me, bringing our chests together as I bend my head into her neck and try to silence the pain that's pouring out of me. "It's okay." She says again, running her hand up my back and into my hair as I clutch her tighter.

"You can't carry all of this shit alone, Daryl. I'll carry it with you, okay? You just have to let me."

Another sob escapes me as I push my face deeper into her hair, breathing her in as her fingers caress the back of my neck sending a shiver of pleasure through my ruined body. "I love you." I whisper suddenly, my voice rough with grief as I pull her against me and try to steady my racing heart. I've never said those words aloud before - ever, to anyone. "I love you." Haley repeats, kissing my jaw softly as I turn my face an inch and find her mouth - sinking a hand into her hair as I hold her to me and kiss her until my lungs start to burn for air.

I turn my body so I'm hovering over her - our lips still touching we're so close as she lifts her hands and brushes the tears from my face despite her own falling from her eyes. "Let me carry it." She whispers and I nod slightly, kissing her again - filling her mouth with my tongue as a soft groan escapes her vibrating against my chest as I sink into her - running my hand down her side, grasping her fingers with mine.

Slowly, all of the shit that's happened over the past two weeks disappears and there's just Haley lying beneath me - lifting her hips to me as I slide off her jeans then mine, resting my forehead on hers as she works the buttons loose on my shirt and then kissed me deeply as she pushes the material over my shoulders and off my back before pulling her own over her head.

The love that I feel for her swells in my chest - replacing the heartache of losing Sophia and now Dale, filling me with a foreign emotion that forces my tongue back in to her mouth and I kiss her deeply - bringing her fingers to mine before thrusting into her, causing a soft cry to pass between us. I push myself up slightly so I can look at her, meeting her heated gaze as a surge of pleasure rushes through me nearly causing my arms to give out.

"…your eyes are so fucking beautiful…"

Haley's sweet smile spreads over her face as my words rush from my lungs and I wrap an arm under her hips, thrusting into her slowly as her lips part and a soft moan rewards me. "Everything about you is fuckin' beautiful." I continue to whisper and she laughs quietly, kissing my jaw as she returns the compliment - telling me all of the things she loves about me.

My lips. My hair. My fucking… hands. I grip her tighter as she kisses her way to my ear. "…the way you take care of people and care about people… you're a good man, Daryl." I hang my head beside hers as her soft words rush through me and I sink into her again, feeling her body tighten as her nails bite into my shoulder.

I don't want this feeling to ever stop despite needing to get as close to her as possible - needing her fucking goodness to seep into me to make me the man she thinks I am. My name leaves her soft lips as I feel her body shutter around me and it takes every ounce of my will power not to go faster. I just want to feel her around me. "Daryl." Haley whimpers again as my teeth graze her collar bone and I thrust into her deeply, feeling her come undone around me as I kiss my way across her throat and then to her ear - trying to steady my breathing as my own quiet moan escapes me.

Haley digs her nails into my back as I sink into her again and again, dragging it out as her heart thumps against my chest. "Do you like that?" I whisper against her throat as her breath catches and I can help but grin. I know she does without her even having to speak. "Please…, Daryl." She cries out and I bring her hips to mine, hitting that perfect spot inside of her as her arms snake around my neck and she begins to beg.

"Tell me what you want Rabbit…," I whisper - kissing her soft lips before moving back down to her neck. "I'll give you anything you fucking want." I assure her - biting her throat gently before running my tongue along her jugular. "Tell me you love me." She whispers her nails still gripping my shoulder as I kiss my way to her ear. "I love you." I assure her and the words come out easier this time.

"Tell me…, you want to feel me come."

A surge of pleasure grips my insides, nearly unmanning me as I groan against her hair. "I want to feel you come on my dick Haley. Come for me…" I manage to say, words low and threatening as her breath catches again and then stops - her heart racing in her chest as her eyes close tightly and she erupts around me, raking her fingers into my hair as she cries out my name against my neck. Fuck. I try to keep going, to slow down to make this last but she feels so fucking good I thrust into her faster, gripping her hip roughly as I feel my release begin to build.

"Tell me you want to come inside of me." Haley whispers against my ear and I lose it - digging my fingers into her soft skin as I groan out how badly I want to fill her fucking pussy and then I do, slamming into her deeply as she buries her face in the bend of my shoulder. I collapse on top of her, nuzzling my face against her jaw as I try to catch my breath.

We manage to jerk our clothes back on - not wanting to be naked in case another walker gets near the camp and then Haley pulls me into her arms and lays back on the ground letting me lay my head on her chest as my rough hand slides up her hip and to her waist. She doesn't say anything - rewarding me with another bout of blissful silence as she runs her fingers through my hair and I feel myself dozing again. The sun isn't even up yet and I can only hope the others are still resting as sleep pulls me in again.

When the sun rises and fills our tent with light I wake up again lifting my head to look at Haley who smiles at me and slows her delicate finger strokes against my scalp.

"I gotta go help them with Dale." I mutter, gripping her side as I place a soft kiss against her collar bone. "Okay. I'll help." I look up at her again - her words from last night rushing back to me.

You can't carry all of this shit alone. I'll carry it with you.

In a thousand lifetimes I'll never deserve this woman.

Slowly I push myself up to my knees running a hand over my face as we emerge from the tent. All is quiet on the farm, last nights fog still lifting from the grass as we pass the spot where Dale once lay, his blood the only thing left of the horrors in the night. I try to shake the image of Dale's wide pleading eyes and the sound of Rick's gun ringing in my ears.

Haley slips her fingers into mine, resting her head on my arm as we walk silently through the field.

I'll help you carry it.

The others have wrapped Dale's body in a blanket but haven't started digging his grave yet so I go to the equipment shed and grab a shovel, glancing up to Haley as shee holds out her hand for her own shovel.

Let me carry it.

Reluctantly I hand her a shovel and we head back to start digging.

"You should have waited for us, brother." Rick says thirty minutes later - joining us with T-Dog and Glenn at the gravesite, all carrying their own shovels. I pull my bottom lip between my teeth but can't answer him. Can't shake what I had to do.

"What you did last night…" I brace myself for his rejection - his disappointment in the way I handled taking out our friend. Our brother. "Dale was grateful. He was suffering - we all saw that. You did the right thing." Rick finishes, slapping my shoulder roughly as he begins to dig beside me. "You did what I couldn't do."

I chew on my lip some more and then shake my head. "No reason you should have to do all the heavy lifting." I mutter and shove my shovel into the dirt. We work in silence for the majority of the morning - remembering Dale, trying to decide what we do about Randall.

Once the service for Dale is over we move back to the campsite and come up with a plan. One that doesn't include hot headed Shane - much to his dismay.

"We'll take him out to Senoia, hour there, hour back, give or take. We may lose the light but we'll be halfway home by then. If he makes it back to his people we'll be ready for them."

I nod, studying the map and then studying Haley as she passes by with Beth headed to the stables. She smiles at me, nodding her head before continuing on and giggling with the blonde suicidal girl.

"You and Haley?" Rick starts as I turn to him, biting at my lip again. "That's good. She's good, Daryl. Keep her close and keep her happy."

I smirk at the thought and look back to the map. "How the hell do I do that?" I mutter as Rick's gaze moves to Lori who's standing with Carol at the campsite. "I wish I knew, brother."

"Aye! We got a problem over here!" T-Dog yells to us waving his arms in the air as Rick and I take off to the barn - jerking the door open to find it empty. A pair of closed but bloody handcuffs on the ground. "Barn was locked from the outside, man. How the hell did he get out?"

I look up as Haley and Beth appear in the threshold with wide eyes. "What's wrong?" She breathes and looks to me for the answer, concern filling her doe eyes. "Randall's missing."

"Missing? How?" Beth asks, looking between me and Haley nervously as the others show up and Rick emerges from the barn - looking around for any sign of our prisoner. Shane comes from the tree line a minute later with blood gushing from his nose and that wild unhinged look in his dead eyes.

"Rick! Rick!"

"What happened?!"

"He's armed! He got my gun! Little bastard snuck up on me - clocked me in the face!"

Fuck. Rick turns to the group and begins barking orders. "Get back in the house! Lock the doors! Stay put!"

Everybody takes off to do as he asks - everyone but the little Rabbit. She doesn't take her orders from Rick. "Let me come with you." Her words are quiet - only for me and she's searching my face like this is the last time I'm ever gonna see her. I place my hand in her hair and hold her panicked gaze. "Hey. He's just a kid - probably not even strong enough to aim a gun. Go with the others - keep them safe."

Haley grasps my shirt to try and keep me with her. "Don't leave me behind." She pleads and it rips out my heart. Rick and Glenn won't be able to track this kid - we're losing light by the minute and Shane…, Shane's so full of shit I can't send him out there with the others. No way this kid got the jump on him, left his cuffs behind - locked the god damn barn behind him. This is a ploy to get Rick in those woods alone. "We won't be long, Rabbit. Get back in the house and shoot first, ask questions later. You got me?"

She finally nods as Rick calls my name. "Won't be long." I assure her again and turn to the tree line - jogging to catch up with them as Shane continues to lie about what happened and lead Rick away from us.

Haley

I turn to Daryl as Beth clings to my arm on her families porch, watching the herd of walkers stumble through the fog toward us. "You stay here - hide if you fuckin' have to." Daryl tells me, slinging his bow over his shoulder as I nod and try to be brave. Beth is trembling beside me, begging me not to leave her.

"I'll die on this farm." Hershel says, loading his shot gun as the others take their weapons. "Alright - today's as good a day as any." Daryl mutters, looking back at me one last time before jumping over the rails and heading to his motorcycle. The plan is to get to the vehicles and lead the walkers away while killing as many of them as we can. A plan that seems impossible as I look out over the field before us.

"We have to go!" Carol yells - eyes going wide as we watch the herd close in on us. "Hershel! We have to go! Hershel!" The old man continues to shoot - barely putting a dent in the threat and then he's out of ammo - looking back at us as we move further into the herd. Lori and Carol are yards ahead of us but Beth is torn between surviving and saving her dad. "Daddy!" Beth screams as Patricia clings to her and I cling to Beth. "Come on! Beth! We have to go! We have to!"

Another spine curling scream escapes Beth's throat as a walker grabs on to Patricia and sinks its teeth into her shoulder, her wails of agony filling my head as I try to jerk Beth from her grasp. "Please! Beth! Please let go! You have to let go!" I plea with her as she screams and tries to help Patricia break loose from the walkers grasp. "Beth! You have to let go!"

The walkers are closing in on us but I can't leave her. I can't. Tears sting my eyes as I try to jerk Beth free of Patricia's hold - turning back to Lori and Carol who have disappeared into the fog. It's just us and the hundreds of walkers - momentarily occupied with eating Patricia. "Beth! Let go of her! She's gone!" Finally my words reach her and I watch the realization flood her face as she unclasps Patrica's hand just as I jerk her to me causing me to fall back, smacking my head in the hard ground as she tumbles on top of me.

Daryl

Fuck. It's over. The farm is overrun with walkers and I left the only person I fucking care about in this world at that farmhouse to fend for herself. I gear my bike down to turn back only to see Carol running through the field waving her arms in the air and sobbing.

I slow down and let her climb on behind me, looking back to the farm house as the flames rise up into the black sky. "Where's the others? Where's Haley!?" I yell back to Carol who can only sob and cling to my back. "Fuck!"

"Hey! Did you see Haley?! Is she back there at the house?!"

More crying.

"Fucking answer me!"

Carol lifts her head from my back and shakes it no. "She was with Beth. Beth and Patricia. I saw Patricia get bit and heard Haley yelling for Beth to let go of her and then I ran. I'm sorry! I had to! They were closing in on us!"

Panic washes over me as I slide the bike to a stop. "You saw her?! Saw her go down?!" Carol is sobbing again, shaking her head no. "I don't know! I don't know! I just heard her screaming for Beth! I don't know! We have to get out of here!"

Fuck!

"I ain't leavin' here without her! Without knowing!" My words are desperate as I gun the bike back to the burning farm. "Daryl! Please! If we stay here we'll die with her!" Carol cries hitting her fists against my shoulder as another frustrated yell escapes me. I'll take her back to the highway where all this shit started - that's where the others will be then I'll circle back for Haley. She's smart and she's quick - if Carol's made it she can fucking make it. Gunning the bike I head back to the highway where we lost Sophia trying to will away the anguish in my chest.

I can't lose her. I can't fucking lose her!

Haley

Fuck. I touch the tender spot on the back of my head and pull back bloodied fingers, groaning at the sight. The dead are closing in on us - still ripping Patricia apart but they won't snack on her much longer - especially now that I'm bleeding. "Beth! Come on!" I say and pull her to her feet turning towards the vast field of walkers. "Fuck. Are you alright? You're not bit?"

"No. No." She whispers as I drag her towards the field. "No! We can't! We have to go back to the house!" I turn back to said house shoving her around and demanding she open her fucking eyes. Her family farmhouse is going up in flames behind us. "There's nothing to go back to Beth! Now move your ass or I'm leaving you to die here!"

A sob escapes her as she nods and follows me through the field, staying close to my back as I shoot down the oncoming walkers with Daryl's gun and we make our way into the trees.

Daryl

I pull up behind Glenn and Maggie and tell Carol to get off. I've got to go back for Haley. To much time has passed. To much shit could have happened by now. What if she was in that fucking house!? Where I told her to go? To fucking hide! I never should have left her.

Don't leave me behind.

I run a hand over my face and look to Carol who's still yelling in my ear and wrapped around me. "Daryl! Please! I won't let you go back there! It's suicide!" Won't fucking let me? I jerk away from her. "Get the fuck off." I growl as she lays on my back and wraps her arms tighter around my middle. "Haley wouldn't want this. Wouldn't want you…"

"Get off my god damn bike!"

Carol sobs and climbs off the bike as I turn to leave. "Daryl! Just give everyone a minute - see if others show up! Please!" Rick begs as I tense my arms and gun the bike. There's no time for this. No one else is coming back! "Please Daryl, we need you!" Carol tries again as a surge of grief washes over me.

"I fuckin' need her!" I cry out feeling my insides quake with grief as the pain spreads through me. "I fucking need her. I can't…, I can't leave her out there."

Carol is crying again - we all turn as T-Dog barrels down the hallway in Hershel's truck, watching Lori leap from the still moving vehicle to run towards Rick and Carl. "Mom!" A sob escapes Rick's throat as he watches his wife embrace their son and then his arms are around her, kissing the crown of her head.

I'm happy for him but now I have to go find my fucking family! Haley…, and Merle. I have to go.

"Did you see Haley? Beth?" Rick asks Lori and I hang my head at her answer. "They went down. Patricia got bit - she wouldn't let go of Beth…, and Beth wouldn't let go of Haley. I saw them go down." Lori sobs holding Carl tighter as Rick looks up at me and I see heart break in his eyes. I watch Maggie cling to her father, both beside themselves with grief over their own loss.

The anguish of losing Haley starts out in the pit of my stomach, a deep piercing ache that spreads into my chest and I can't breathe. I hang my head further - trying to take in oxygen but it's no use. No fucking use. I hear Rick's voice but can't process what he's saying.

Haley's gone? She went down? With Beth. Beth wouldn't let go of her.

The sound that leaves my chest as Rick places his hand on my back causes Lori and Carol to sob louder as I run my hands over my face, closing them tightly as I try to pull myself together.

Ain't nothin' left but the cryin', baby brother.

Merle said that to me every time something devastating happened to us. I bury this sorrow down into the pit of my soul, wiping the tears from my eyes as I look up to Rick. "Daryl. I need you brother. I've got all these people to take care of and no fucking idea how to do it. My wife… our son.., our baby. We won't survive without you."

"I can't leave her out there." I whisper, my words broken with grief. If she's…, dead? I can't leave her as a fucking walker. "You help me, help me get them to safety and I'll go back with you myself. We'll find her - either way we'll find her - we just have to get them to safety."

I look over our group, the sorrow on their faces.

"Alright." I mutter. He's right. We got a whole group to take care of. Haley would never forgive me if I put Carl in danger. Didn't fuckin' feed him a three course meal every day. I kick start the bike and nod past the sea of cars in front of us. "Stay off the main roads. The bigger the road, the more assholes like this one. I got him."

I lift my bow and put a bolt between the lone walkers eyes, gunning the bike and grabbing the arrow as I tell Rick and the others to keep up.

Haley

I touch the back of my head again, the tender gash still bleeding freely. I'm hungry, weak and nearly dragging Beth along as we move through the trees of Georgia. I ran out of ammo a long time ago - switching back to old faithful - my dad's knife, using it to stab walkers as they come upon us but with each swing of my arm I feel myself slipping away. The herd has thinned - moving on with their afterlives and Beth and I, we're just surviving. Barely.

I can't find any food. The animals have all went into hiding from the fires and the gun shots. All of the bushes are bare of any fruit except the ones Daryl calls pokeweed. I had to slap the dark berries from Beth's palm earlier and argue with her that we couldn't eat them.

We've been walking in silence ever since.

"We have to keep going." I whisper to her as she drags her feet behind me. "I can't. Haley. I need to stop - need to rest for a minute."

The sun has set twice since the farm went down. No sign of anyone else. Beth says we're the only survivors but I know better than that. Daryl? Rick? Shane? Men like that don't fucking die. Daryl can't fucking die. I would know - I would feel a part of me die with him. I listen as Beth slump's down to the ground behind me, breathing heavily and I run my bloody hands over my face and through my hair. "We've got to keep going Beth. They'll wait for us at the highway."

…but they can only wait so long and I'm not even sure we're walking in the right direction. Half of the herd will follow them to the road - it won't be safe there. They won't be safe there. They'll have to find somewhere else. They'll have to leave us. Panic fills my chest at the thought of them leaving us. They'll think we died at the farm. Daryl will think I died at that farm.

"Beth. We have to keep…"

I turn to her slowly - barely making out the outline of her face - her red tearful eyes and her screams as she jumps to her feet and comes towards me. No…, no no. We have to stay quiet - we can't scream, can't scream. Darkness swallows her up as I hit the ground - the look of horror on her pretty face as someone walks up beside us is my last fading memory.

"Please. Please don't hurt us."

I try to open my eyes at Beth's words, try to push myself up and go for my knife but I'm to damn weak. Whoever's found us isn't from our group but his voice is vaguely familiar. It's to loud for this new world.

"Calm down. I ain't in the business of hurtin' little girls. Your friend here's got a nasty gash on her pumpkin' though, losing a lot of blood. Biter's gonna be all over us soon."

"Can you help her?"

"Kid, I got one hand and my own fuckin' problems to figure out but yeah - I'll get y'all someplace that can help. It's the Christian thing to do."

Finally I will my eyes to open, the edges of my vision still dark and blurry as the man helping us comes into view and he's taken back at what he sees.

One hazel eye one greener, not easy to forget.

"You that little doe? In the woods with my brother - back at the quarry?" I open my mouth to answer but nothing comes out. "You know Daryl?" He asks Beth who hesitates at first then assures him we do. "Daryl and her. They're…, together. He cares about her a lot. We got separated. She…, she saved my life."

"Ain't that sweet. Baby brother done trained her up - made a man out of her." Merle says with his piercing laugh and I feel myself being moved, scooped up into strong arms as my consciousness begins to slip again. "You keep up with me now, ya hear? Let me do the talkin' when we get to the gates."