Haley
Despite our reunion Daryl has yet to speak a word to me - passing me off to Rick as he emerges from the prison with wide eyes, assuring me they searched for me after the farm fell until it was to dangerous to leave Lori and Carl behind. I tell him I understand and that I also tried to find them but apparently we were on opposite sides of the river and then Carl comes out carrying his baby sister and my heart nearly burst with love. He hands me Judith who coo's and smiles as I glance around looking for Lori. When I find Rick's eyes again and see the pain that floods into them I realize she's no longer here and he just nods slightly as I whisper how sorry I am.
Once everyone that's left from our group has reunited with me I notice Daryl is gone and a deep ache fills my chest. I try to assure myself he's just with his brother who's been missing a lot longer than I have but then I see Merle arguing with Maggie, Glenn and Rick near the gates. Carol guides me into the prison, helping me find some fresh clothes and the shower area and then leaves me to it as she goes to feed Judith. I finally have my family back and have never felt more alone.
X
I don't see Daryl for the rest of the day - not even when we all gather for dinner and listen to Merle argue that we can't go back to Woodbury. "That psycho son of a bitch has to know we skipped out on him by now - probably has the whole town out looking for us. Especially her." Merle nods to Michonne who is resting in one of the cells a few feet away. "What exactly did she do?" Carol asks and then looks between us as I stab into my dinner. Merle will answer. He always does.
"Went to get her sword - found The Governor's daughter and killed her, then took the man's eye as a keepsake."
I look up to Merle. Michonne told me The Governor's daughter was a walker that he held captive in a closet in his home with a bag over her head and her arms tied behind her. Even if she was already dead that's no way to treat someone you supposedly loved. What he was doing to his daughter was cruel and being the type of person she is Michonne couldn't let it continue once she found out. The Governor came in - begged her not to end Penny's life and then attacked her, losing an eye in the process.
"Yeah, that's what I said." Merle mutters as I tell the full story to Rick and the others. "We have to go get Beth. She can't stay in a place like that - with people like that." Maggie says desperately, looking between Glenn and Hershel who agree. "When The Governor gave the order to find and kill Michonne I went to Beth and told her we had to leave. I couldn't tell her why - she had to many people with her but she wouldn't come with me and if Michonne would have found Merle in the woods looking for her she would have killed him. I didn't have enough time to try and convince her." I say in my defense and Maggie nods. "It's not your fault. We know how Beth can be - especially if she's found people there she cares about but now that we know…, we can't leave her."
I nod and frown. "I'll drawl you a map but the second I show up at Woodbury I'm a dead man." Merle assures them. "I'll go - we'll sneak in - get Beth and get the hell out of there before they even know what's happened. They'll be too riled up over this Michonne thing to even pay attention to us." Rick says as Maggie and Glenn agree. Merle just laughs to himself but nods, wishing them luck. "Sounds like a plan, Sheriff. I'm gonna go get me a hot shower and turn in, any of you ladies care to join me?" Merle asks the table - looking at everyone but me thankfully. "No? That's too bad - don't know what yer missin'." He assures with an other loud laugh and wanders off from the dining area as I exhale the breath I've been holding - letting my shoulders slump. Apparently he's bunking with his brother now and I am truly thankful for that, for once in several long winter months I can go to sleep without listening to the ramblings of Merle Dixon.
X
Except I can't sleep. I lay on my back staring up at the empty bunk above me with my hands on my stomach, trying to steady my breathing and clear my mind. Daryl and I have been separated for nearly seven months. A lot can change in almost a year - feelings can change, go away. There's so much more to be worried about than a stupid crush in the zombie apocalypse. With a sigh I sit up on the cot and pull my legs in front of me, running a hand over my tired eyes at the thought of Daryl. I've spent seven months pining over him, missing him - loving him and it looks like he's gotten over me and we're right back to square one except when I first met him he at least spoke to me in the quiet of the woods surrounding that quarry.
Someone clears their throat as I look up quickly, surprised to see the man in question leaning against the opening of my cell with his arms crossed over his chest and an unreadable expression on his handsome face. I don't know what I say to him - afraid of what he might say to me so I just sit before him trying to keep my face neutral and watch as he finally crosses the short distance between us and sits down beside me on the cot, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.
"Breathe, Rabbit."
I take in a quick breath realizing I've been holding it since he made himself known and watch as he rakes his fingers through his messy hair and hangs his head beside me.
"I failed you." Daryl mutters, voice deep and rattling in his chest as he chews on his bottom lip and avoids my eyes. "I should have never left you alone at that house."
"Daryl…" I watch his back go stiff, the muscles flexing roughly at my voice. Any progress that we made is completely gone now as his head hangs lower and he places his hands over his face. "I left the only person I've ever cared about alone in a fuckin' herd of walkers while I rode off tryin' to be a hero, Haley. You should have stayed with Merle - stayed away from me. He can protect you better than I ever will."
Daryl Dixon is feeling sorry for himself. Against my better judgement I reach out my hand and touch his back - watching him flinch again and put some space between us. "You were trying to help us. Guide that herd away from the farm. That's more important than me, Daryl…"
He stands up from the cot and turns to me quickly, eyes glaring. "No. It ain't. I fuckin' left you there Haley! You could have…, you could have been…" Daryl is wound so tight - pacing in front of me now it breaks my heart. I can see the guilt he's been harboring this winter pour out of him as I stand up and close the space between us, placing my hand on his arm as he stops and stares at me, his chest rising in panic as he shakes his head and tries to turn away from me.
"I wasn't and I was able to bring you and Merle back together, which you owe me for - big time. I don't think he's shut up once since he found me. That's seven months of constant Merle chatter embedded in to my brain, Daryl."
His blue eyes finally meet mine but he doesn't laugh at my joke, doesn't do anything but stare at me like I'm going to disappear any second. "We got shelter here - walls, fences. No more shitty tents." He assures, taking a step away from me to leave. Some of the happiest moments in my entire life took place in that shitty tent. Is he trying to convince me to stay? Where the hell else could I go? Back to Woodbury to be shot on sight? I place a my hand on my stomach trying to ease the ache fluttering inside.
"Daryl…," He lets his gaze fall as I move in closer to him. All I want is to be close to him again. I place my hand on his arm and will him to look at me but he doesn't, just stares at our feet and chews on his lip. "Nothing's changed…, I still…" Silence washes over us. I can't say it even though I feel it. I still love him but I don't think he feels the same anymore and I don't think my heart can handle the truth of that right now. I thought our reunion would be much different than this.
"I still care about you." I whisper as his eyes lift slowly and he studies me again. After a minute he just nods and turns his back to me, hesitating another second before he leaves me alone in my cell.
X
Daryl
Ten hours. That's how long Merle's been back and I'm over it. He can go wander off into the woods for another few months. I'll help him pack his shit.
"Where's the little doe?" He asks from the top bunk of our shared cell. Despite having plenty of room Rick thought it best I keep an eye on my loud mouthed brother - try to keep the peace between him and the others so he doesn't end up handcuffed to a drain pipe in the basement this time. "Hey? The doe? She alright?"
Merle looks over the edge of his cot to me but I don't meet his gaze. "Her names Haley and she's in her cell." I mutter, slumping down to my own bunk and lying back - running my hands over my face and through my hair. All I've wanted since that farm burned down was to have her back in my arms but the more time that passes now that she's back makes me realize she's better off without me. Merle kept her safe - taught her how to survive this world. All I did was nearly get her killed and leave her alone to fend for herself. How could I possibly say I love her when I fucking left her? A groan builds in my chest as I take in a quick needed breath.
"You even listenin' to me boy?"
Fucking Merle. I guess I do owe Haley for bringing him home and having to endure his constant noise. "What?" I grunt and close my eyes tightly trying to ease the pain radiating through my chest. "I said what the hell you doin' in here then? I know my brother ain't no one minute pump chump." His laugh fills the whole god damn prison.
"It ain't like that with us." I assure him, at least not anymore. Somehow I'm going to distance myself from her so she might have a chance at staying alive this time around. "Right, and y'all was just doin' bible study in that tent that night before Rick cuffed me to a pipe. Bullshit. I remember ya'll at the quarry - eye fuckin' each other every time your paths crossed. What's your problem? Can't get it up?"
"Shut the fuck up."
"You still got my pill bag? Got somethin' in there for that." Merle quiets his laugh and lays back on his cot causing the worn springs to groan beneath his weight. To my utter shock he actually does shut up - for a solid minute. "Well, if you ain't interested no more how about lettin' ole Merle have a go? Girl like that? She'll follow you to hell and back."
I lash out and kick the underside of his cot with my boot causing him to grunt in pain and then explode in a fit of fucking giggles like he's a god damn school girl.
Girl like that'll get ya killed out here, boy.
Crazy how time changes things.
"I'm glad to have you back, little brother. You've done good." Merle assures me, quieting down again as I run my hands over my face and take in another deep breath. Over the past seven months I've reverted back to my childhood - suppressing emotion, just surviving but now with Merle and Haley here those emotions are flooding into me to fast - making it hard to get ahead of them. All I want is to go back to her cell and wrap my entire fucking body around her and never let her go but shit like that will get her killed, keep her weak. If this feeling, this ache inside of me is love then the best thing I can do for Haley is leave her the fuck alone.
I face the wall and force myself to go to sleep - listening to Merle's heavy mouth breathing above me.
X
"I'm comin'. I'll watch your back." I assure Rick, ignoring the look my brother's giving me from across the table. "I need someone here."
"Merle's here. Haley and Carl. They can shoot."
Rick looks up to Merle and then back to me, repeating. "I need someone here."
"Someone he trusts, little brother." Merle assures with a shrug. "No offense taken, Sheriff. I don't trust you either. You did leave me for dead on a blazing rooftop after all."
"Enough." I snap, standing to my feet. "You need backup in case shit goes south over there. I'll wait back in the trees, cover your ass. Merle says it's only seven miles across the river - we'll be back before mornin'."
Rick sighs, knowing I'm right.
"Fine, you stay out of sight though. If shit goes south at Woodbury you have to get back to the prison to warn them. Merle says we can get through at the side perimeter. They have these… events that the guard always sneaks off to watch. Then it's just finding Beth and getting the fuck out of there."
"What kind of events?" Glenn asks Merle. Just as my brother's opening his mouth to explain the barbaric gladiator type fights between man and walker shots ring out through the court yard startling us all.
"Sounds like we're too late, Sheriff. The dead's come'a knockin'." Merle mutters as he follows Rick and Glenn out into the court yard. I turn to Haley's cell, watching as Maggie hands her Judith and a gun and then her gaze locks on mine. The anguish in her eyes tells me everything I need to know and I nod, jogging after the others to access this threat.
X
Outside Carol and Carl are hiding behind a makeshift barricade with their guns drawn while Glenn and Rick stand facing the gate - staring at an angry little man with a patch over one eye. Behind The Governor is a box truck that I seriously doubt is full of anything we want.
I lift my bow and aim at his head, ready to take my shot.
"Call off your archer!" The Governor yells to Rick who lifts his hand to tell me to drop my weapon. Merle is suddenly beside me and for once in his life his voice is barely a whisper. "This shit goes south you go get that little doe, ya hear me? That's yer fuckin' priority here brother."
I keep my eyes on The Governor and grunt a response.
"He's gonna have that other little girl with him…, and no matter what he says he's gonna kill her."
My eyes go wide as The Governor snaps his fingers and someone brings a bound and gagged girl with long blonde hair out of one of his trucks - tears streaking Beth's face as she fights against the restraints.
"I can take the shot. I can end this."
"You take that shot and you get us all killed. Look past him." Merle mutters as we watch Glenn go to the gate only to have Rick grab his shoulder to stop him. I listen to my brother and focus on the tree line - seeing the mass of people with high artillery weapons pointed at the prison. We're out numbered a dozen to one. "I can't jus' let him kill her." I mutter, looking to Beth whose eyes are so wide I can see the blue in them from here. "She's already dead, brother."
"The survivors you sent away - Tyreese, Sasha - they told us about your sanctuary while we were trying to get information out of sweet Beth. The poor girl can keep her mouth shut but her poker face is off, that's for sure. Figured we'd try to kill two birds with one stone. We got lucky I guess."
We watch in silent horror as The Governor demands Michonne for Beth and then as the sword wielding samurai walks past the gates to give herself up for the young girls life he shoots Beth dead causing Maggie's cries to ring out over the prison yard.
X
Michonne was able to overthrow The Governor long enough to disarm him while his military came alive and opened fire, sending them scattering through the field in front of the prison. Two minutes into the shoot out it's obvious he didn't bring soldiers with him and the towns people that survive our retaliation retreat into the woods along with their leader.
The only casualty was Beth, who we laid to rest just before sundown.
Sitting at the end of the long cafeteria table, chewing on my bottom lip I watch silently as Merle gathers some food - a few chunks of rabbit meat and a container of mixed fruit. I've never known my brother to eat fruit before and sure enough he takes his gatherings into Haley's cell, returning a minute later with just a piece of meat between his fingers. Our eyes lock but for once in a long time he doesn't have anything to say.
I stand up slowly, stretching the muscles in my back as I make my way to Haley's cell. I don't know who was crying harder once the smoke cleared today, her or Maggie. Both devastated by the loss of Beth - Glenn held Maggie in his arms while she sobbed but like the jackass I am I left the rabbit alone to deal with her guilt. I step up to the open cell and run my hand over the back of my neck, feeling my heartbreak for the girl who is curled up on the bottom bunk looking so small - unblinking like she's trapped in a nightmare.
Silent tears spill down her face as she stares at the wall, the food Merle brought her untouched on the small table beside her bed. "Wasn't your fault, Rabbit - jus' somethin' terrible that happened but it's not on you." I whisper but I don't think the words reach her, she doesn't acknowledge me or even seem like she knows I'm here so I kneel down beside her - brining our faces close as I brush my rough thumb over her cheek. She doesn't blink, doesn't make a sound - the only sign of life coming from her is the slight rise and fall of her chest.
"That asshole, The Governor? This is on him and we ain't gonna let him get away with it, alright? We'll do right by Beth."
Haley closes her eyes at my words, fresh tears spilling past her lashes as she takes in a deep breath and a sob escapes her. Her anguish and guilt over Beth being killed is ripping me apart and I sink a hand into her hair forcing her face to lift up to mine.
"Let me carry it, Haley." I whisper, my voice broken with grief as her eyes, shiny with tears meet mine. It's what she said to me at the farm after Sophia and Dale.
I'll help you carry it you just have to let me.
"This ain't on you, okay?" I continue as she finally nods her head and I brush my thumb over her wet cheek again. Everything I want to say to her is trapped in my throat - I love you. I've missed you so much. Everyday for seven months a part of my fucking soul chipped away without you here - but none of it comes out and I can only search her sad eyes wishing I could take the pain away from her.
"I shouldn't have left her." She finally whispers, her words barely audible as I run my fingers through her hair, watching her eyes close and more tears spill down her face. I try to find the words to comfort her but those are two things that aren't my specialty - words and comfort, so I just continue to card my fingers through her hair as silent sobs rack her body.
X
Merle is standing at the entrance of Haley's cell when I finally lift my head from her cot, my ass numb from sitting on the ground beside her bed with my fingers still in her hair - listening to her soft steady breathing now. She's only been asleep for about ten minutes but it was a relief to watch her body finally relax and to see her tears dry up.
Trying my best to be quiet I push myself to my feet and grab the blanket at the bottom of her cot, placing it over her before following Merle into the hallway.
"Little doe ain't built for this world, brother. She cares about people. Wants to make it a better place. People like us? We know that ain't possible no more that's why we gotta protect people like her."
I glance up to Merle, raising an eyebrow as we make our way outside. "Didn't think you was the protectin' people type." I mutter as he hands me a smoke from the near empty pack he pulls from his pocket. "Ain't. Don't much give a shit about people, never have but your little doe? Somethin' about that one."
I take a long needed draw, holding the smoke in my lungs as I take in his words. "You love her." Merle says, leaning back against the brick of the prison as we watch Hershel and Rick in the gardens.
"You askin' or tellin'?"
I watch my brother shrug, indifferent as he takes a pull from his own cigarette. "Enough of this pussy talk. We need to do some scavenging for supplies, set some traps for food." Merle mutters and I watch him as he looks around the prison yard. When we first spotted Shane and his group by the quarry he told me we were gonna wait till nightfall and rob them blind - kill them if we had too, to survive. Now he's talking about bringing in supplies - feeding us.
Crazy how time changes things.
X
The Outbreak: Day 534
Haley
It's been nearly seven months since we showed up at the prison and so far The Governor hasn't been back to finish what he started. We can only hope he succumbed to the wounds Michonne inflicted the day he killed Beth.
A deep sadness fills my chest at the thought of her. I don't think I'll ever be able to accept that it wasn't my fault she died - that I didn't abandon her with a fucking monster - leave her alone in a terrible place.
"Hey?" I flinch as Carol's cold hand touches my arm, bringing me out of my disparity. "Hey."
It's obvious now that she's been speaking to me for a significant amount of time and I apologize, barely recognizing the sound of my voice as her smile falters. I don't talk much anymore - polite conversation with Hershel and Maggie, who assure me at least once a month that what happened to Beth isn't my fault. Daryl avoids me like…, well… the plague - ironically enough. Always busy hunting and gathering, helping clear walkers from the fence - anything to keep a safe distance from me.
On rare occasions we find ourselves in the same area where we feast on awkward words and stolen glances but whatever we had at Hershel's farm is just a memory.
I take Judith from Carol and cuddle her to my chest as she yawns - just waking up from her nap. Carol is yawning too but hers is from lack of sleep and I assure her I'll take over for a while so she can get some rest.
"How would you like to take a walk to the gardens with me little lady? Let aunt Carol get some rest?"
Judith's sweet face brings on my own genuine smile as I look up to The Dixon Brother's as they step into the narrow hallway. Merle has his usual shit eating grin across his mug but Daryl…, the look he's giving me causes my heart to beat harder in my chest.
I don't know how to explain it as no man has ever looked at me like this before, blue eyes narrowed - primal but also somehow soft - like he's torn between want and need.
"She ain't gonna let ya put one of those in her till ya stop actin' like a jackass." Merle mutters but his muttering voice is everyone else's normal speaking voice. As much as I care about Merle - like he's my own damn asshole brother, I really hate him sometimes. "Okay. Come on sweet girl - to the gardens." I say, disturbing the utter silence that's fallen upon the prison as I move past the brothers and head outside.
X
Daryl
Merle shoves his elbow into my back roughly as I turn and push him towards our cell.
"Get yer ass out there and talk to her, boy. Actin' like you ain't got a set of balls between your legs. I know I ain't the only one tired of watchin' y'all torment each other - like those god damn soap opera's mama used to tune out too. The Dead and The Restless."
I watch Merle pull himself up on his cot and lay back with one hand behind his head and the other going past the waistband of his pants. Jesus.
"You gonna hold it for me, Darlena or go find yer doe?"
I jerk my bow up on my back and turn to the now empty hallway, shaking my head at my crass brother and his wild fucking words. It's a wonder someone hasn't stabbed him in his sleep yet - that someone being me.
X
I step out into the prison yard and spot Haley standing near the plots where Rick and Hershel plant vegetables, holding a wide eyed Judith who is gnawing on a cucumber like it's the last supper. The smile on Haley's face fills my chest with the warmth I remember from Hershel's farm.
She's been back with us for as long as she was missing and nothing is any better between us. I try…, I try so fucking hard to talk to her and get back to where we were before… but when I'm close to her I'm either fighting off the urge to kiss her or wallowing in the self pity that I can't protect her.
Seeing her inside just now, holding Judith with that smile from before on her beautiful face; I've never wanted anything more than I want her. It took everything I had not to fall to my knees and beg her forgiveness for how I've treated her since she came back. Distant and cold. I want to shower her in the love she deserves but I can't…, I don't know how. I didn't know how before and now it's impossible.
Haley lifts her face from Judith's, our eyes meeting like they always seem to as I close the space between us slowly.
"I don't know what you see in that asshole Merle." I mutter, her smile widening and sending a surge of emotion through my chest. Judith laughs out suddenly bringing on ours. "I hear he has a really sexy younger brother." Haley says softly, turning her attention back to Judith who is in a fit of giggles from our unknown conversation.
"Isn't that right? Uncle Daryl is really sexy!"
Judith squeals out, throwing her head back as she laughs uncontrollably at the quiet words.
"Yer crazy." I mutter but I can't hide my smile, looking between the two of them as Haley tickle's little ask kickers belly. "He doesn't even know it. All big and tough." Judith is beside herself with giggles - looking over at me as if she has any idea what Haley is saying. "Guess what Judith? I know his secret. Uncle Daryl is really sweet under all that gruff."
Haley looks up to me slowly, watching as I chew on my lip and take in her words as Judith quiets down when the cucumber finds her mouth again.
"We were just having some fun. Judith made me say it." Haley assures me, still smiling as her eyes search mine and I find myself moving closer to her. "As long as you keep my secret little ass kicker. Can't have your dad and the others knowin' the truth."
Judith is over it now, giving the cucumber hell as she glances to me then back to the prison.
"Your secrets safe with us, Uncle Daryl." Haley assures me, her voice whisper quiet as I move in closer and she adjusts Judith on her opposite hip - tilting her head up to me as my left hand reaches out and idly grasps her hip, sliding up the rough fabric of her pants until I touch soft skin - running my fingers just under the hem of her shirt.
All I need is a sign that she's still affected by me - that she thinks about me at all.
"Haley…, I…"
That's when I hear it - that familiar catch in her breathing that tells me everything I need to know and I step away quickly, shaking the spell her enchanted eyes cast on me.
"I'm goin' for a run. Any requests?"
I watch her blink, her own spell breaking as she puts more space between us and shakes her head no. "I'm good. Got everything I need." She assures me and the smile she reserves for the people who don't know any better returns to her face as she focuses on Judith, who's lost interest in her teether and is starting to get fussy.
"Be safe, okay?"
I nod, bringing my lip back between my teeth as I watch her another minute and head towards my bike. Ain't got no plans of going on a run but I need to get the fuck out from behind these walls for a while before this little rabbit drives me insane.
X
Why the hell did I get stuck babysitting my loud mouthed brother? There's plenty of fucking cells in this prison - I'm on the damn counsel board - I don't need a roommate, especially one that snores as loud as Merle.
I push myself up from the cot and stomp off to find somewhere quiet to sleep, unable to help myself as I pass Haley's cell, stealing a glance. The soft glow of a lantern or flashlight barely illuminates the room casting her shadow against the thick privacy sheet hanging over the door and I hesitate before stepping closer and muttering her name.
"Hey. Come in."
Her voice is whisper quiet as I barely move the sheet and take a shaky step inside, meeting her eyes quickly. I instantly regret leaving my own cell because looking at her now a groan escapes my throat and I stop in my tracks. She's sitting on the bottom bunk with her dark hair pulled up on her head in a messy bun, ringlets of auburn framing her intense gaze. She looks so fucking beautiful I'm having trouble keeping air in my lungs as my eyes fall to the oversized red flannel shirt hanging off her thin shoulder, watching her lean forward to continue drawing in a small notebook.
"What's up?" Haley asks softly and I force myself to focus on the picture she's drawing, a cartoon portrait of a rabbit. "Tryin' to find somewhere quiet." From Merle's snoring and the constant buzzing in my head that only ever seems to go away when I'm with her.
Will you kiss me again?
Why?
When you kiss me all of the noise inside my head disappears.
I take a step back into the hanging sheet. This was a mistake. "It's pretty quiet in here." She assures and scoots over on her cot to make room for me without looking up from her drawing. Fuck it. I can sit on a bed with her and keep my dick in my pants. I'm not some horny teenager and it ain't like that with us anymore. I cross the cell and sink down beside her on the cot. "Drawin' self portraits now?" I ask, watching her smile and continue shading in one side of the rabbit. "It's a bunny, not a rabbit and it's for Judith. She likes looking at the pictures."
Haley flips the sheet over to show me her drawings - a dog, cat, bird… all of the basic animals most kids learn about when they're small.
"What's the difference between a bunny and a rabbit?" I ask - looking up at her. "Bunny's are cute? It's not called the Easter Rabbit." A soft laugh escapes me as I nod, agreeing with her. "Rabbit's are pretty cute too." I assure her as she raises an eyebrow but doesn't lose her grin.
"What are you doing here, Daryl?"
"Merle's snorin', jus' need somewhere to get some peace."
Haley shuts her notebook. "…and you think this is where you'll find peace?" A hint of humor laces with her soft words. I can already feel myself being pulled to her. There's less air in here than the cell where Merle is sucking wind. "Yer the only thing that gives me peace, Rabbit." I whisper between us - searching her eyes.
"Doesn't seem like it, anymore. You've been treating me like a stranger since I've been back."
I pull my bottom lip between my teeth and let my eyes fall. I've just been trying to keep her safe.
"…didn't mean to…, treat ya like a stranger." I mutter, still unable to look her in the eye. "…when we lost the farm…, when I lost you…" I'm no good at this - no good with words. I run my hands over my face in frustration. "I jus' wanna keep ya safe, Haley. Keep ya focused on surviving."
"What's the point of surviving when you're alone." Her voice is whisper quiet and full of hurt, eyes fixated on her fingers as they chip away at her nails. "Yer not alone. I'm right here." I assure her, turning my face to hers slowly - taken back by how close she is to me. My eyes search hers and then fall to her parted lips, moving on to her exposed shoulder - her flannel shirt slipping down her arm. Another long silence passes and then she takes a deep breath and forces a smile, looking away from me quickly.
"Well, mi casa su casa. I can take the top bunk."
I watch her shut off the flashlight beside her - casting us in complete darkness but she hesitates before moving to the top bunk and I grasp her wrist gently to hold her in place. We sit in utter silence while our eyes adjust to the darkness and once I can make out the outline of her lips I move towards her so our mouths are almost touching - a surge of emotion filling my chest.
"I don't want you to feel like you're alone." I whisper, my hand running down her side to grasp her hip and hold her in place. Everything around us falls away and there is only Haley, her warmth sinking into my bones as I close the space between us and graze her lips with mine.
"You don't even want me anymore." Haley whispers - her sweet breath against my lips as I grasp her harder, digging my fingers into her soft skin - causing that beautiful catch of breath to pass between us. I inch closer to her, taking her hand and placing it strategically on my lap - her fingers brushing the outline of my painfully hard erection pressed against my jeans. I tilt my head so I'm speaking against her ear, my words deep and rough as her fingers continue to stroke me. "Every time I look at you I fuckin' want you."
I let my fingers slide under the hem of her shirt, my rough palm pulling her closer as her mouth finds mine and she kisses me slowly, brushing her tongue against my lips as a low groan escapes me. God, I've missed her - missed this feeling she ignites inside of me like I'm on fire and she's pure fucking gasoline.
I sink my hand into her hair and pull her to me, laying her back on the thin mattress as she grasps my shirt in her fists and pulls me to her chest, never breaking our kiss as her slow tongue fills my mouth and I sink my body into hers - grinding my aching cock against her thigh. Haley lets her head fall back to the mattress, breathing deeply as I hang my head beside hers - grazing my teeth against her throat as her body arches to mine and I slide my hand underneath her, holding her to me while kissing a wet trail down to her collar bone.
My name on her lips sends a surge of pleasure through my body, tightening my muscles as her hands slip between us and she unclasps my belt trying to undo my pants. "I've missed you." She whispers beneath me bringing my face back to hers - searching her sad eyes as I sink my fingers into her hair again, caressing her cheek with my thumb. "I want you to touch me."
I hang my head again at her words, words that nearly unman me as she gives up with the zipper of my jeans and slips her hands under the band of her panties - pulling them off and tossing them behind her head. I place a kiss to her exposed shoulder as she whimpers and runs her fingers into the back of my hair, causing my own groan to rush from my lungs. "…please, touch me Daryl…"
I let my hand slide from her hair, brushing against her face and then down the curve of her neck - listening to her breath catch in her throat as I continue down her body, gripping her waist roughly as I rut against her thigh. I'm so fucking lost in her I don't know how long I'm going to be able to last - touching her, feeling her squirm beneath me is almost too much. "Stay still, Rabbit…" I whisper, finally reaching my destination as I sink a finger into her soaked pussy and groan. "…you're so fuckin' wet for me…" I whisper against her throat as she lifts her hips to my hand, pulling me in further as my thumb brushes across her clit and I sink another finger into her.
"…god damn…" My dick throbs at the feel of her and I want more, the sudden need to fucking taste her overwhelms me as I kiss a wet trail down to her collar, pushing her shirt up with my other hand to lick my way down to her breast, taking a hard nipple between my teeth as a gasp escapes her and her fingers tighten in my hair.
I feel her body shudder as I work my fingers deep inside of her, beckoning her to come for me as she grips my hair so fucking hard it almost hurts and then she holds her breath and I can hear her heart racing against her ribs as I brush my tongue over her other nipple and her body ignites around me. I rest my head against her stomach, taking in a quick breath to steady my own racing heart as she clings to me - one hand over her mouth to muffle her moans and the other still locked in my hair.
As her body begins to relax I continue on my way, kissing my way down her stomach - running my hands over her hips, grasping her sides as I dip lower - kissing the spot just over her hip bone as she squirms and begs me to fuck her in a hushed whisper.
"…wanna taste you…" I answer her pleas by burying my face between her legs, lapping up her desire with a deep groan that vibrates her insides. I grip her hips tightly, holding her to my mouth as I roll my tongue over her clit - feeling her body tense around me as her fingers card through my hair and that familiar tightness from Hershel's farm fills my chest. I want her to come again - around my tongue - I want every fucking drop of her but my own pleasure corses through my body and I have to stop - pulling away from her with a groan as I will my own release away.
I kiss her hip again, running my tongue up her side as I reach between us and free my aching dick - shoving my jeans down my legs as I make my way back to her waiting mouth - kissing her deeply before I have to pull away to catch my breath. Every cell in my body is humming with dopamine, with the need to come but I don't want this to ever fucking end.
"…are you okay…?" Haley whispers, lifting my face to hers as I nod and take my dick in my hand - eyes closing as I stroke myself between her soaked thighs and hang my head again. "….'bout to come…" I whisper, her fingers slowing in my hair as I sink into her deeply with a strangled cry, nuzzling my face against the side of hers as I take in a deep breath of her hair. A sudden swell of emotion fills my chest as I thrust into her, her fingers in the back of my hair holding me against her as my lips part and a rush of air leaves me. "I love you Haley…" I whisper against her cheek, groaning again as her hips meet mine and I sink into her deeply. "I love you so fuckin' much…" Her fingers tighten in my hair as I thrust into her, over and over until I can't take it anymore and when her soft words of endearment reach my ears my entire body coils around her and explodes in a rush of mind numbing pleasure, filling her deeply - kissing my way back to her mouth, swallowing her moans as I grip her body tightly.
Haley wraps her arms around me as I sink into her chest, running her hands over my shoulders and into my hair as I kiss her jaw, both breathing hard - our hearts beating in sync as her fingers brush across the back of my neck, causing me to groan and when her delicate touch goes away I groan again. "…don't stop…" I whisper, eyes closing as she touches me again.
X
Haley
I continue running my fingers through the back of Daryl's hair and I swear I can hear him growling - feel the vibrations in my chest as I laugh softly and place a kiss to the crown of his head. The love that I have for him swells in my chest as his hands grip my waist and his breathing begins to slow.
"…when I saw ya with Judith today…" His voice is rough against my throat, thumbs brushing over my sides. "…all I could think about was how beautiful you are…, and how… in a different life that could be you holdin' my kid…"
My eyes go wide above him. Since we got separated at Hershel's farm he doesn't talk much - mostly observes but when he does speak he says the most unhinged, perfect things. I open my mouth to reply, not sure what to say then he continues - never slowing his thumbs against my ribs. "I was so fuckin' lost without you, Rabbit. I am - lost…"
His voice is so whisper quiet I can barely make out the words, my fingers hesitating as he lets a hand slide between us to jerk his jeans back over his ass and I scoot over so we're lying beside each other on the small cot. To my surprise Daryl turns to face me, running his hand through my hair to brush it away from my face. My vision blurs with silent tears that suddenly spill down my cheeks as his rough thumb brushes them away. "I love you Daryl." I assure him - his eyes searching mine as he brushes his thumb against my parted lips and nods, bringing his between his teeth before leaning forward to kiss me slowly.
X
Early morning sunlight filters through my makeshift curtain as I open my eyes, blinking as I push myself up on my arms and look around the empty cell - noting the blanket draped over me as a feeling of unease fills my chest. Nothing good will come from Daryl's not being here.
I was so fucking lost without you, Rabbit. I am - lost.
X