PYRRHA

"Mwahahahaha!"

Salem laughed for what felt like the first time in centuries as she handled the Crown of Choice in her hands, looking over it eagerly before eyeing the one who had brought it with her; her newest champion, Pyrrha Nikos.

"An excellent job, Pyrrha," Salem smiled widely at her minion, "I knew sending you to Vale over Cinder was an excellent idea."

Nearby, Cinder looked like she wanted to scream something. She was promptly ignored.

"Thank you, Miss Salem," Pyrrha bowed politely, "It was... nothing. Really."

"Oh?" Salem hummed. Pyrrha seemed put off for some reason, "And why is that?"

"...Well-"

"Well, this is usually the part where I do a background check on you, but you're so perfect and amazing Pyrrha Nikos - four time champion of the Sanctum regional tournament, Pumpkin Pete mascot, celebrity icon, and lesbian awakening for thousands of women around the world - that you obviously don't have anything suspicious to look into in your past, so we're just going to ignore that!"

"..."

"And they just let you in?"

Pyrrha sighed, "Yes... they did. Honestly, I was expecting more of a challenge, but..." she shrugged. It was the only thing that she could think to do.

Cinder looked like she swallowed a lemon. Again, she was ignored.

Salem raised an eyebrow, "So what happened after that?"

"Well-"

"Goodness gracious Pyrrha, you're awesome and totally someone that even I look up to you! So much in fact that I'm going to tell you all of my deepest darkest secrets about Salem and the Brother Gods and the Relics just because I know for a fact that you won't ever try to use this critical information against me!"

"..."

"...What did he tell you?"

"...Despite being at war with you, he really misses the feeling of your feet on his face."

Salem nodded. Good. She missed stepping on him too.

Cinder looked like she was choking on something. Once again, she was ignored.

"And after that?" Salem asked.

"...After that, what happened was-"

"You know what, Miss Nikos? I'm going to make you the Fall Maiden, just because I know that you're so perfect and amazing that you wouldn't ever turn against me or use those powers for any kind of nefarious purpose!"

"..."

"And Ozpin gave them over to you?"

Pyrrha's eye twitched, "...Yes."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that," Pyrrha's voice had a tone of despair to it.

Nearby, Cinder started to scream. For a fourth time, she was ignored.

"And...?" Salem began.

"...'And'?"

"How did you get the relic after that?"

"..."

"My god Pyrrha, you're so sexy and cool that I can't think of anything wrong with giving you the Crown of Choice, one of the key items needed to summon the Gods and potentially end the world! I can't think of any disastrous consequences that might come about from not thinking this through in the slightest, just because you're so perfect in every conceivable way!

"..."

"..."

"...I'm working with the Queen of the Grimm to end the world."

"AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh Pyrrha, your jokes are as funny as you are perfect."

Pyrrha wanted to cry.

Pyrrha started to cry.

"Oh don't look so glum, Pyrrha, it's not all bad," Salem reassured her, "After all, you completed your tasks flawlessly, just as I knew you would! Because you, Pyrrha Nikos, are the most perfect person to have ever lived."

Pyrrha's sobs turned into a wail.

Cinder was no longer in the room, as Salem had got tired of her screams of anguish and rage and tossed her out a window. Pyrrha wanted to join her.

It wasn't fair. She'd joined Salem to finally face a challenge, something that she'd been craving for so long and yet had been denied all her life! She was tired of just having everything handed to her on a silver platter! She wanted to face seemingly impossible odds and work for something, gods damn it!

…And also because she figured that working for the greatest monster ever known to walk Remnant and becoming an evil terrorist might stop people from sending her a hundred love letters ever single day. That would've been nice too.

But nooooo! Even that was too much to ask. Apparently evil was sexy now!

When had that been a thing?!

"And because you've done such a good job, I've decided to give you your reward," Salem turned her head to the door, "Bring him in!"

In walked a Beowolf that Salem had dressed in a tuxedo out of boredom, wheeling in one writhing and panicking Jaune Arc, who had been duck taped to a wheelchair and gagged.

…

Then again, Pyrrha thought to herself as she pushed a tossing and turning Jaune Arc through the door and to her bedroom, Maybe it's not so bad.

Originally, this chapter was going to be about Pyrrha being too nice to be evil, but then I realised that it would be too similar, and probably identical, to Jaune's chapter, so we've got this instead!

Hope you enjoyed!