I do not own these characters or the world, that belongs to our lovely author of MHA, Kohei Horikoshi. Also, cover art was a commission by me from the artist Krumbs. Follow them on if you'd like! They are extremely talented!
A/N: Thanks for any and all reviews/follows/favs etc. They are much appreciated! And hold onto your butts folks because chapter 37 is a wee bit of a spicy one. Bought time, right?!
Thirty-four Fun Fact: A Cancerous Prostate Actually Feels a Little Like a Walnut
Izuku stood at the head of the classroom with his makeshift model of the bladder and urethra, a model that he had largely done by himself since Mineta had been less than helpful. It was a sad little model and even though Deku wasn't one to down talk things, even he would have to agree that it was somewhat of a sorry excuse for an anatomical model.
The bladder he'd made from a balloon which he'd opted to fill with 300cc's of water as opposed to blowing it up. He'd attached straws to the water balloon with a combination of glue and tape that represented the ureters and another straw to the bottom end of the balloon to represent the urethra. Because he'd been so distressed by the perceived inadequacy of his model, he'd created an identical second one with a deflated balloon to represent a decompressed, empty bladder that also possessed a shorter cut straw to represent a female urethra. He couldn't run water into the straws to simulate the production of urine, but the basic premise and the anatomical devices were at least satisfactory in their display. Or at least he hoped so.
Deku was also the primary author of the essay that they'd been assigned. Mineta had assisted, though the word assisted he used lightly. Of course he would still give Mineta credit since he had at least assisted to some extent. That being said, this assignment was far from his best work and he wondered what kind of thing he would've been able to create if he'd been paired with a more willing partner say Todoroki, Yaoyorozu, or Uraraka.
"These are the bladder and the urethra blah blah," Mineta stated in an overly bored tone beside Deku. It took all his restraint to not shoot his partner and irritated and flustered look as if to say, take this seriously please!
"Yup! The urethra and bladder are an integral part of human anatomy. The ureters—uh the straws, er tubes, that connect to the balloon-transport urine from the kidneys and dump it into the bladder which is essentially a reservoir for the urine to be held until it can be excreted through the urethra, the bottom tube," Deku explained and touched the two straws connecting to the upper sides of the balloon and then the bottom straw, respectively.
Mineta from beside him, held up the second model very unenthusiastically. "And here you can see the exact same model except this one's empty and the straw, oh, uh, the urethra at the bottom is shorter because it's a girls'."
"Yes! The version I'm holding is consistent with a male urinary system and the one Mineta is holding is representative of a female urinary system. In terms of their integration with the reproductive system, well the urethra in males is the sole transporter for both the excretory function of urination and also uh, well, it's the only way that uh, um, that se, er, that sem, er, sem—"
"Dude just say it. Sperm. Semen. Jizz. Ejaculate. Man milk. Baby gravy. It's the only road that takes the baby gravy outta the balls," Mineta supplied, completely unfazed.
Deku felt his cheeks flush and his skin go hot with embarrassment. There was an almost universal snicker from across the classroom. Deku's eyes sought out Uraraka and saw her eyes downcast and her cheeks flushed; probably embarrassed for him.
"Dumbass," Bakugo snorted with a nasty smirk directed at Mineta.
"Mineta that is inappropriate and not accepted anatomical language. Please refrain from anymore usage of slang terms," chastised Recovery Girl.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Mineta said with an eye roll.
"Mineta is correct!" Deku began his voice high pitched with anxiety and embarrassment for Mineta's crass language. "The urethra is the tube that transports both, substances, out of the body, in a male that is. In a female it is strictly reserved for the physical excretion of urine."
"There's a little tube in the male urethra," Mineta paused to flip up the straw at the bottom of the water balloon to flop it about, "that releases the jiz—uh, sperm into the urethra. They don't come from the same place. Ha, come." The pint-sized pervert snickered at his own phrasing.
"That's enough of that Mineta," Recovery Girl again chastised.
"Disgusting," Ashido muttered from the left of the classroom.
"Pervert," Jiro whispered with an eye roll.
"One more inappropriate thing out of you and I'm going to start deducting points from your final grade," came the gruff and grizzled sounding voice of Aizawa from somewhere behind and below the desk at the front of the class.
"Yeesh, fine," Mineta practically yawned.
Even though everyone clearly seemed to be disgusted with Mineta's immaturity, Deku looked at his partner and was briefly stunned into silence. Mineta knew about the ejaculatory duct? That meant that he'd actually done a bit of reading and knew that semen travelled from the testicles through the vas deferens to eventually form into the ejaculatory duct and emptied into the urethra?! He doubted that he maybe knew all of that, but he knew enough to know that there was some sort of pathway that connected one to the other. Maybe there was hope for him after all! Maybe they could get a decent grade!
With a bright smile on his face and renewed vigor, Deku turned away from his diminutive partner and back toward the class. "The urinary system while not really a part of the female reproductive system is still an integral body system for girls and boys and the body wouldn't function without it. It serves more of an important purpose in male reproduction since the urethra essentially acts as a uniting front for the reproductive and urinary functions by transporting both, er, fluids via the urethra which ultimately allows for successful sexual reproduction."
"And—" Mineta started but was immediately silenced. He had opened his mouth to speak but this time Aizawa and Recovery Grill were ready. Before the popoff pervert could form even one more word, Mr. Aizawa's binding cloth was across the teacher's desk and wrapped around Mineta's mouth, effectively gagging him. The top of Mr. Aizawa's head was just barely visible above the desk.
Meanwhile Recovery Girl said, "Thank you Midoriya and Mineta. I'll look forward to reading your essay. You can take your seats." Deku thought she didn't actually sound like she was even remotely interested in reading their paper.
Aizawa's head peeked up a bit further from behind the front desk. While his hair wasn't standing on end and his eyes were their usual inky black, they were dangerously narrowed in Mineta's direction as he released the binding cloth. Mineta let out a quiet sigh of relief once he was completely free from the restrictive cloth.
Deku and Mineta returned to their seats and Deku felt himself give a big sigh of relief. At least their presentation was over with now. They'd made it through the presentation which was the part he had been most dreading and now it was finally done. He could at last rest easy. Hopefully.
Before he and Mineta had presented, only two other pairings had gone. Aoyama and Asui had had the misfortune, or perhaps fortune, of going first, presenting on the vas deferens and seminal vesicle and the labia minora and majora. Their rendition of the vas deferens and seminal vesicle consisted of a piece of yarn and what looked like a small chewed up piece of gum. Their representation of the labia minora and majora was that of a sumo orange that was peeled with several slices removed leaving a distinctly labia look. That had of course sent a class wide blush and Izuku was fairly certain that he'd never be able to look at a sumo orange, or any orange for that matter, the same way again.
After they'd presented it'd been Jiro and Ida presenting on the prostate, the rectum, and anus. That had been equal parts embarrassing and amusing. Everyone—aside from Bakugo, Todoroki, and Mineta who seemed to be enjoying himself—was red faced as Ida had lectured about the rectum and anus and the functions they served in the body. Jiro had had a far less amusing and uncomfortable presentation on the prostate gland which seemed to be largely an unknown thing to most of the class though apparently a magnet for cancer in men. Deku thought he heard Mineta muttering behind him, "the dude's version of a g-spot", while Jiro had been presenting.
They'd been unique in their model creation, using a walnut to represent the prostate, a dried elongated chili pepper to represent the rectum, and most interesting or perhaps amusing was a better term, was the usage of a tomato that really really looked like a very shapely bottom. The tomato was probably a conjoined twin of a singleton tomato that failed to fully twin itself and inadvertently ended up looking like a perfect replica of a butt. Izuku had initially thought that that wasn't a very good depiction of the actual organ until Ida had flipped the curvy tomato up and there was a tiny little dark dimple in between the joined tomatoes. Who knew food could be so provocative?!
Now up was Tokoyami and Ojiro with their model and presentation on the corpus spongiosum and the fallopian tubes. It was relatively dry in terms of presentations and thankfully, didn't seem to be all that embarrassing to the presenters or the class. The models were also relatively innocuous. Like Deku, either Tokoyami or Ojiro or both, had decided that straws worked well to demonstrate a fallopian tube. The corpus spongiosum was simply demonstrated by a single thread of yarn since it represented tissue.
Following them was Hagakure and Shoji with the corpus cavernosum and the cervix. While the corpus cavernosum didn't make anyone blush or uncomfortable and the model was just a simple pipe cleaner—again representing tissue within the penis—the subject of the cervix did seem to make most of the class uncomfortable. While no one could see if Hagakure was blushing given the fact that she was invisible, there was clearly a blush over Shoji's cheeks even with the lower half of his face covered. Their model wasn't anything that scandalous in fact it was kind of funny; they'd used a particularly fluffy donut with a very small donut hole to represent the cervix. Deku supposed it was the concept of the cervix that created the tense atmosphere, considering that the cervix was located deep inside the vagina.
Once they were done Todoroki and Yaoyorozu were up. Of all the assignments, they perhaps had the most uncomfortable one.
"This is the glans penis," Yaoyorozu began with an intense blush on her face. Cradled in both her hands was a tiny little flesh colored mound of some kind of material that was most definitely a penis. Izuku was shocked at the realness of it.
"And this is the clitoris," Todoroki added and held up his own little flesh colored model that looked very very different from the model Yaoyorozu held.
Deku felt like he wanted to put on glasses and get a closer look at the little model. He knew what lady parts looked like for the most part. He'd seen text books of course and of course he'd perused the occasional dirty magazine before, not that that was something he felt proud to admit, but he'd never actually seen what looked quite like the real thing this close before. He thought that there was something a little off about it since the tiny little pink bit of pearl shaped tissue near the upper portion of the model seemed large. He was fairly certain that that was the clitoris which in this case made perfect sense for it to be enlarged. If Yaoyorozu was responsible for creating these models herself, well she probably intentionally enlarged the area she'd been assigned…though the rest of it looked quite anatomically correct as well.
"The glans penis is actually just the head of the penis but it houses the urethral opening which acts as the exit for both urinary excretion and ejaculate." Her cheeks were as red as Deku had ever seen. Clearly, she was feeling the awkwardness of such an assignment.
"Since ejaculate is integral for sexual reproduction you can see the importance of the glans. The glans is only fully visible when the foreskin is completely retracted—if the foreskin is intact. When erect, if a foreskin is intact, it retracts by itself. The foreskin serves no purpose in sexual reproduction but can act to increase sexual sensation to a male and can act as a protective factor to the head of the penis. There are studies that report that the glans is the most sensitive portion of the penis, though there are conflicting studies that indicate that that is the shaft of the penis," Todoroki stated in a flat and even tone. There was no visible blush in his cheeks and no faltering or unsteadiness in his voice. He delivered this information almost robotically despite the sensitive nature of the subject material. One glance across the classroom showed mostly red cheeks and diverted gazes, aside from perhaps Mineta—who looked far too interested—and Bakugo who mostly just looked annoyed.
Yaoyorozu awkwardly cleared her throat and lowered her eyes as if she found something especially interesting on the floor. "The clitoris doesn't actually serve any purpose to sexual reproduction, either, it uh, it just acts to uh be the primary source of," her voice faltered and her cheeks turned an even deeper shade of red.
From behind him, Deku heard Mineta muttering, "Come on! Come on! Say it! Say it!" He almost turned around to glare at his former partner and half expected to see him sitting on the edge of his seat, hands in fists on his desk and shaking with anticipation.
"It is the primary source of sexual satisfaction and," Yaoyorozu's voice grew quiet, so quiet it was almost hard to hear her, " orgasm in females ."
"Yes! She said it! Hot!" Mineta exhaled loudly behind Midoriya with an unnecessarily self-satisfied sigh that instantly made Deku uncomfortable.
"It's highly dense in nerve endings and acts as one of the primary mechanisms in female pleasure during sexual interactions. The exact number of nerve endings isn't entirely known but it is theorized that the clitoris may have more than the penis, especially considering the small size of the organ when compared to its' male counterpart." The cool and even tones of Todoroki's voice seemed to make the blush over Yaoyorozu's cheeks lighten up just a bit.
"Thank you Yaoyorozu and Todoroki. Before you return to your seats, I'd like to look at the models you created—Yaoyorozu I assume that was primarily you?" Recovery said and looked expectantly at the tall dark-haired girl.
With another blush dotting her cheeks, Yaoyorozu nodded and bowed slightly. "Yes. I used my quirk to create both models with Todoroki's input and assessment." She had taken the small female flesh mound from Todoroki and gingerly handed them off to Recovery Girl's aged hands. The ancient nurse brought them close to her face, turned them over and inspected them closely before eventually returning them to their creator.
"Very well done indeed! I've never seen such well-done models for this lesson!" Recovery Girl praised with a smile.
On the right side of the room Mineta's hand suddenly shot up with lightning speed. Recovery Girl clearly saw the pint sized lecher's raised hand and with the smallest eye roll, she nodded in his direction.
"Uh, since they're so well done, can we uh, can we like pass around the femal—I mean the models, both models?" He eagerly asked, practically frothing at the mouth at the idea.
Both Recovery Girl's and Mr. Aizawa's voices rang out in unison.
"No!"
"No," Recovery Girl paused a moment and looked down toward the bottom of the desk she sat at, clearly surprised at Aizawa's input. Sighing, she said, "Normally I would say yes, but because it's yo—er well, because we still have several more presentations to get through and not that much time left in the day, I'm going to say no."
"Well that's unfair," muttered Mineta sullenly, leaning back in his desk, clearly pouting.
After that both Yaoyorozu and Todoroki took their seats and were followed by Ashido and Kaminari presenting on the ovaries and the epididymis.
While Ashido and Kaminari had fairly uncreative designs for their models—both were some type of small bouncy ball—it was clear that Ashido was the superior presenter. She'd done the majority of the speaking on both reproductive organs with poor Kaminari bumbling through almost anything to do with the ovaries or female anatomy in general. Kaminari's poor face was continually flushed pink while Ashido didn't look all that uncomfortable or embarrassed.
After they'd finished presenting it was Sero and Satou up with the endometrium and the foreskin. Since Todoroki had briefly highlighted on the foreskin neither boy had that much more to add. The model was not unlike Hagakure's and Shoji's model in that they'd used food, though this time it was a corndog with the very top portion of the cornbread removed so that just a little of the hotdog poked out. It was equal parts humorous and awkward in terms of a model to represent something anatomical. They'd gone a similar route for the endometrium as well, except this time using an onion to help demonstrate the layers that made up the endometrium.
Once they'd finished presenting it was down to Koda and Kirishima and then Bakugo and Uraraka, with Koda and Kirishima being the first of the two groups to present. Deku found it ironic that poor, sweet, innocent Koda had been assigned to perhaps the most blush inducing organ—aside from the clitoris—the vagina. The male portion of their assignment, the cowpers gland, was far less blush worthy or scandalous. They'd used a solitary marble to represent the cowpers gland and a paper towel tube to signify the vagina.
At last they were onto the final presenters, Bakugo and Uraraka.
Deku felt his stomach churn with anxiety for Uraraka, fearful of how her presentation might go considering Bakugo's poor teamwork during the previous week. As he watched Bakugo drag his feet toward the head of the class and Uraraka join by his side from the other side of the classroom, he decided that he'd have faith in his old childhood friend. Kacchan deserved the benefit of the doubt and even if he was difficult about something, he always gave his all.
Uraraka and Bakugo stood at the head of the class, Uraraka pulling out what looked like brown pottery without a glaze. She handed one of the pieces of pottery to Bakugo and then turned to face the class.
"We had the uterus and the testis/scrotum," Uraraka began, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. Despite the color in her cheeks, she looked determined and her voice didn't waver. Bakugo meanwhile, wasn't even looking at the class. His gaze was off to the side, his eyes narrowed in irritation, hands in pockets.
"Both are integral to the reproductive process," Uraraka said softly and held up two small semi-circle shaped pieces of pottery that Deku realized were roughly shaped like testicles, though one was a bit bigger than the other and slightly different shaped. She pointed to the larger of the two semi-circles, "This is the scrotum which encompasses the testicle," she paused and held up the smaller of her two sculptures. The larger of the two was about egg sized and of a similar shape, "the scrotum acts as a protective factor for the testis and assists with temperature control which is imperative to spermatogenesis—or the creation of sperm." Deku marveled at the confidence in her voice and while there was a blush coloring her cheeks, her voice didn't waver and she looked on with determination. She's so cool, he thought to himself with a smile.
"Meanwhile the orchid shaped balls inside—the testicles—are responsible for creating sperm and producing the male important hormone, testosterone. Without the testicle and the scrotum protecting it, sexual reproduction wouldn't be possible," Bakugo said in dry tone. He looked utterly bored, as if he'd prefer to be doing literally anything else.
"Then there's the uterus," Uraraka began and gave Bakugo a side eye. When he didn't respond she cleared her throat to get his attention. Still no response so she resorted to stamping on Bakugo's foot which caused him to hiss in irritation and shoot her a nasty glare. Deku had to resist the urge to giggle at the sight of Uraraka angrily stamping on Bakugo's foot to get his attention.
"What?!" He snapped, nearly nose to nose with her as he glared at her.
"Show them the uterus model!" She hissed back.
"Ugh," groaned Bakugo and pulled out the little brown piece of pottery that Uraraka had given to him when they'd first gotten to the front of the class. He'd apparently slipped it into his pocket once Uraraka had started talking. He begrudgingly held up what looked somewhat like an upside triangle, though pear sized and with softer edges than that of an actual triangle.
"The uterus houses a growing embryo which eventually grows into a fetus after fertilization of egg and sperm has occurred," Uraraka explained. The blush was mostly gone from her cheeks. She was apparently more annoyed with Bakugo than she was embarrassed to be talking about such an awkward topic.
"It also undergoes monthly cycles of building up its uterine lining in preparation for a pregnancy which at the end of that cycle if a pregnancy doesn't occur, the thickened lining is shed in what is called menses, or the menstrual cycle," Bakugo explained, still sounding completely uninterested.
Deku couldn't see the little ceramic figure very well but he could see that on one side of the model, it looked like a layer had been peeled back with fine detail potentially demonstrating the various uterine layers. He remembered Bakugo's angry phone call with Uraraka that Saturday and wondered if this was the model that she'd sculpted since the one he'd made had apparently broken. Regardless of whatever model she had made, they both looked pretty good!
"Both the uterus and the scrotum/testis are very critical parts of sexual reproduction and it wouldn't be possible without them!" Uraraka added with forced pep.
"Tell me Bakugo, why call them 'orchid shaped'?" Asked Recovery Girl, startling almost everyone except perhaps Bakugo who just looked more annoyed.
"Am I the only one who does any reading?!" Bakugo mumbled in irritation before turning back to the aged nurse who looked at him expectantly. "Because the ancient Greeks had wild European orchids that grew and the underground bulbs, pseudobulbs, or tubers looked like a pair of ball-testicles and thus they referred to them as orchis. So Theophrastus—a Grecian nerd—named the plant and subsequent flowers orchids. It's why we have surgical procedures like testicular removal titled orchiectomy instead of testicle removal."
"Excellent job! Not necessary for the completion of your assignment, but an interesting piece of history and background," Recovery Girl said with a pleased smile. Bakugo wrinkled his nose and turned away from her, apparently annoyed by her pride in his knowledge.
"Whatever," he muttered and thrust the uterus model back at Uraraka. He then shoved both his hands back into his pockets. He'd pass the little ceramic object at Uraraka with such haste that she barely had time to grab it and almost dropped it.
"Well that was very well done. Excellent job class. Bakugo and Uraraka, you can take your seats. That about concludes today, we'll be covering some reproductive disorders tomorrow and likely have a quiz over what we've covered thus far," began Recovery Girl as the spikey haired blonde and auburn haired girl returned to their seats. She began outlining what reading they should be doing tonight for tomorrow's lesson.
Izuku jotted down a few notes in his notebook about tonight's readings and glanced at the clock. Less than two minutes of class remained. He shot a tentative glance toward Uraraka who was actually looking at him and flushed a shade of red and hurriedly looked away, likely embarrassed that he'd caught her staring. He felt a similar heat rise to his cheeks and wondered, not for the first time, if they would spend time together that evening.
Just that thought alone was enough to make his boxer briefs grow a little tighter and make the pink in his cheeks darken. Why was being a teenage boy so hard?