Adam woke with a sense of dread this morning. He had no idea what to expect but he knew Kim didn't either. It was the first Anniversary since the divorce. And while they all knew it was her idea to divorce it still didn't stop the pain. The pain of feeling your life fall apart, the feeling of pain from knowing everything you did to keep your marriage together had failed. He decided to head down to make some breakfast hoping that would help make the day start off right. He saw her phone ringing and took it before it woke her. He noticed it was her best friend Michael so he decided to answer it.
"Hey it's Adam. Kims still asleep." He answered hoping he wouldn't freak about him answering. "Oh hey. I'm glad she's still sleeping. Look I just called to check in on her but since she's sleeping let me just tell you make sure feels. Make sure she gets the emotions out. She will shut down I promise you that. That's how she works, she always has. Kim was built to hide emotions. Her whole childhood was built around hiding emotions. I'm sure you heard stories about her mom and sister. Her childhood was a mess. Just support her and make her feel." Michael had never talked to Adam but knew of him. And knew Kim liked him a lot so he felt comfortable sharing with him.
"Thanks man. I heard some stories but not a ton. More stories about Paul than anything. I only heard about her mom and sister because they reached out. She was off and admitted the damage they had done. But luckily she feels when she's will me. She opens up and let's me in. I'm thrilled she lets me in but it breaks my heart each time. I hope I never meet these people. They don't deserve Kim in their lives. Look I'm gonna get off now. I'm going make her some breakfast before the kids get up. I will have her call you later." Adam hung up soon after trying to let the household sleep a bit longer. He cooked quickly and carried a tray of food to the bedroom for her with a cup of hot tea.
"Darling. Time to wake up my love." He stated louder than a whisker. "Hmm." Kim rolled over to face him. "Sit up Kim. Breakfast in bed just for you." He watched her eyes open slowly smiling when she saw the tray of food. "Um thank you baby! Love you!" She whispered before digging in to her breakfast. He sat next her while she ate. "How are you feeling this morning?" He asked sitting there watching her. "Happy you are here. But I feel like a failure. I failed myself, my kids, my marriage. I know I didn't cause the issues at least not solely but I feel like I failed. The could've, would've, will haunt me for a long time. Like could I have tried harder to fix things. Why didn't I see it before we got married? How did I live with him for all that time not knowing he was such a monster. How do I explain this to my kids? They don't have a father now or really ever. It's my fault. They deserve better." She started to cry.
"Oh Kim. None of this is on you. I know we have talked about it before but it's really not your fault. He was your husband, you wanted to believe in the man you married. There is nothing wrong with that. Just like there is nothing wrong with working. That doesn't make you a bad wife or bad mother. You didn't fail Kim. He failed you and your kids. He was a bad father and bad husband. You and your children deserve better than you got. As for explaining it to the kids, for now you don't. They don't seem to be interested in knowing where he is. So let it go for now. When they are older you can try to explain it then." He threw his arm around her pulling her closer. "Now try to eat a bit more. The kids will be up soon." He kissed her cheek before letting her eat again.
After she finished eating he took the tray down to the kitchen to put the dishes in the dishwasher. As he cleaned the kitchen Kim showered before the kids got up. He hoped the talk, found and hot shower would help her to feel better. He felt like he was learning more about her but it was mostly the sad things. He hoped he could heal her broken heart. He had just finished cleaning when he heard April coming down the stairs. He said a quick good morning before heading up the stairs to check on Kim. He found her sitting on the shower floor crying. "Oh darling. You don't have to hide in the shower to cry. It's okay to let it out. But don't hide, just let me in and let me help you." He got in the shower with her. He held her tight as she cried harder.
"Let it out darling. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. Just let it all out." He just held her while she cried rubbing her back. "I failed. I failed horribly. And I wasted my dream wedding on a douche that didn't really love me. Am I really that unlovable that he could just not care about me and our children? I really thought it was forever when he proposed. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't believe that. How did it all go so wrong?" She turned so she could bury her face in his chest. "Kim you didn't fail. In your heart, deep down you know that. And you will create a new dream wedding. You will get another chance at it. Now let me tell you something that you should already know. You are unbelievably lovable. I feel for you in minutes of seeing you for the first time. The way you handled yourself on that case was incredible. Your knowledge on the job is insane. Everyone on our team loves you. But that doesn't matter as much as I love you and your kids love you. How it went wrong I don't know. Maybe he just didn't want to be a father and used that as an excuse to treat you bad. You did the right thing leaving Kim. Tomorrow you will remember all the right reasons you left and today will be a distant memory. I know that for sure." He felt her nod. Her sobs slowing as he spoke. As he reminded her that she was Okay and that she would survive this.
"You ready to shower now." He asked not sure if she was strong enough yet to stand. "Yeah. Thank you." She moved to get up slowly. She felt unsteady, her body still trembling from crying. He showered quickly before stepping out to let her take her time a bit longer. He was dressed just as the kids entered the room. "Hey babies! You want to snuggle on mommies bed?" He say them nodding so he scooped them up and placed them on the bed. He watched as they got under the covers and closed their eyes again. He popped his head in the bathroom letting her know the kids were in her bed. He brought her a few extra pieces of clothes to cover up before entering the room.
He stayed in the room making sure neither kid fell out of the bed. He wasn't sure how steady they were in a bigger bed. They were still in their crib, albeit a double crib but they had rails to keep them safe. When Kim exited the bathroom she saw the kids sound asleep again. "Did you put them in the bed?" She whispered looking at them. "Yeah I asked if they wanted to snuggle in your bed. They nodded and then got under the cover and went back to sleep. It's adorable. I didn't want to leave them alone just in case they fell." He shrugged as he walked towards her pulling her into a hug. "Thank you for being so good with them. It's nice having a partner even if it's not all the time. It helps a lot." She pecked his lips before pulling away to get dressed further. "You know I'm here always. For you and those kids. And you don't have to thank me. I would do anything for you." He cupped her face pulling it closer for a kiss before heading out of the room.
He headed back to the kitchen to make breakfast for the kids and for himself. He knew Kim wouldn't let them sleep much longer but he also knew they needed to eat. He made them some eggs and turkey bacon with some fruit. He knew very well now that Kim was big on the kids having a balanced breakfast. Being single for so long he was concerned about something quick and easy. So this had been a big adjustment for him. Though he had to admit he felt better and even stronger following her eating habits. He plated the food as he heard little feet coming down the stairs. The kids still wiping their eyes from their little nap. "Breakfast is ready kiddos." He set the plates down and helped get the kids in their chairs to eat before getting his own plate.
Kim started to make lunches for the kids. Again it was another balanced meal for the kids but they did get a couple of cookies as a treat. She even made lunches for herself and Adam. She really did try to save money whenever she could. She hated to struggle making ends meet but that was life right now. Once lunches were made she cleaned up the kitchen again. She headed over to the table when she was done to talk with the kids. "Momma cook big dinner tonight?" Mia asked. Somehow she remembered what today was. "Yeah as long as I don't have to work. I will cook a big meal for us all." Kim tried to smile. "How about I bring dinner home for everyone? Give momma the night off from cooking." Adam offered wanting to take something off her plate.
"That sounds like a great idea! What do you guys think?" Kim asked the kids hoping they would be as thrilled as she was. "Yeah!" Milo yelled. He loved to eat and when they had take out he got a little of everything. It was nice because the kids weren't picky eaters. Kim raised them to eat anything. "Perfect. I will get Thai on the way home for all of us." He was pleased. The kids were happy and Kim looked relieved. Mia looked upset a bit and neither adult was sure why. "Sweetheart. What's wrong?" Kim asked softly. "No daddy right?" She whimpered. "No sweetheart. Do you miss daddy?" Kim had no idea where this was going at this point. "No. He not nice. He scary." She started to cry. Kim was up and around the table in seconds picking her up and hugging her tight.
"You don't have to worry about that sweetheart. He can't come near us ever again. I promise you are safe here." Kim carried her over to the couch still rubbing her back. Adam picked up Milo and brought him over as well. "Babies you know mommy and Adam put bad people in jail?" She asked looking at both of them. When they nodded she continued. "Okay so when daddy did a bad thing to mommy he went to jail too. And he will be there for a long time. I promise you both mommy and Adam will protect you both if you are ever in danger. Do you understand?" Kim looked for their response. They both nodded before they both sat in Kim's arms for a hug.
"I'm gonna clean up the dishes. Give you guys some time." He kissed her head before heading back to the table. He gathered up the plates and loaded the dishwasher.he noticed it was mostly full so he ran it quickly before heading back towards the small family. "Hate to break this up we are going to be late if we don't get moving." Adam spoke softly not wanting to startle anyone. "Okay kiddos let's get dressed and then head to school." Kim carried the kids upstairs Adam not far behind them. Both kids used the bathroom first before heading to their room to get dressed. Kim letting them pick out their own outfits for the day. Adam just watched loving the scene in front of him.
They finished getting dressed and headed down the stairs to get their shoes on and leave the house. The loaded the kids in the car with backpacks and lunches before they drove off. The kids singing along to the radio. It was adorable so Adam took a short video of the kids. He sent it to Kim before putting his phone away. The kids were dropped off and Kim returned to the car looking distracted. "How about I drive for a bit? You seem off." He watched her nod and switch seats with no argument. "Okay let's head to work. Maybe you should stay off the streets today. I don't want you getting hurt today. Well or any day." He watched her nod again with no argument. They finished the drive in silence.
When they arrived at the district he helped her out of the car before leading her into the district. Everyone knew what today was so they all stayed quiet. They all nodded as he headed to grab her a tea and a coffee for himself. Voight followed him into the break room. "How bad is it?" He asked pointing towards Kim. "Bad. I asked her to stay off the streets today. She agreed. I'm afraid she will get hurt if she goes out there." He shrugged a bit. "Okay. I'm good with that. I'm just glad she agreed without a fight." Voight sighed and returned to his office. Adam walked back to his desk putting her drink on her desk before going to his own.
The unit got a case and as they headed to the crime scene Kim stayed behind to look for pod footage with Mouse. It was the best thing she could do to help the team but also to distract herself from her mind. She knew deep down none of this was her fault but she always felt things deeply. That's just who she was. Meanwhile Adam rode with Kevin since Kim was on dest duty. "How's our girl doing?" Kevin asked as he drove. "Not great. Spent the morning sobbing or comforting her daughter who was also sobbing. Afraid scary daddy would come back. So rough might actually be an understatement." He replied as he looked out the windows. "Sounds rough. I feel bad for all of them. How are you doing?" Kevin knew his friend was keeping things close to the vest.
"Just trying to keep my head up. My heart breaks for them. Watching a small child cry because she's scared of her father is just crushing. No child should fear their father. They are not even three and have seen more than most kids have. I just want to protect them all from the world. I love them and it scares me but I really do." He was still staring out the window as they pulled up to the scene. "Just take it easy. And be there for them. That's all you can do right now." Kevin patted his back as they walked up to the scene. They start searching the house looking for evidence. They worked quickly but quietly. Dead bodies were never easy to be around but for Erin it was worse. The smells making her nauseous.
Adam noticed her pale skin tone and called over to Jay. "Jay man. Er looks like she's gonna vomit. You might want to get her outside for a bit. And give her this. Kim mentioned it helped." He handed Jay a few ginger candies that Kim swore by. He obviously had no clue if they helped but he figured he should pass along the advice. "Thanks man. I knew she should have stayed back. But since it wasn't a raid we figured it would be okay. Let me check on her. Also thanks for this." Jay took the candy and headed towards Erin. "Hey Er. Let's head outside. Try one of these. Apparently Kim swears by them." He pulled her tight against his chest shielding her from the smell. Once outside he handed her a candy to try. They stayed outside while Adam took over checking Jays search area and Kevin took over Erin's. They agreed they needed to pick up the slack while she was not well.
As the search ended they all met up outside again to go over what they found. They knew it wasn't going anywhere fast so they hoped Kim and Mouse had found something. They headed back to the district to do research into the location but also on the bodies found. Erin found Adam right away as they arrived. "Adam Hey! Thanks. It helped some. I appreciate you looking out." Erin patted his chest before walking off. He nodded to her just happy he helped someone today. He took the stairs two at a time ready to get this case done and to see how Kim was holding up. The team noticed the whiteboard was covered in photos with names and specific information about each victim.
Arrest records and known associates were also taped under each picture. If nothing else Kim and Mouse had been through. "Alright looks like you two have been busy. That's great anything on pod footage?" Voight asked them. "Still looking but the cameras in the area were broken or painted over. Not sure we will get much there. Sorry boss." Mouse hated not finding anything on pods but at least they found other information that could help. "Hey you did good, both of you did." Voight went over all the information with the team so everyone was on the same page. The team continued to pour though each page of information looking for a link to the killer. It took hours before they found the needed piece of information. The team suited up and headed out. All except Erin and Kim. Both for different reasons.
The two female detectives worked on paperwork to stay busy while the team was out making the bust. "Kim. Thanks for giving Adam those ginger candies. They helped a bit earlier." Erin was surprised by how well it worked. "Yeah no problem. The dead bodies probably made it worse. But they helped me a lot. Also ginger tea. I'm always a phone call away if ever need anything." Kim smiled at her friend and colleague. "Thanks I really appreciate it. I don't have a ton of friends outside the unit so I'm glad I have your support." They shared a quick hug before heading back to work. It was probably another hour before the guys returned to the bullpen with the perp in cuffs. They noticed a few of the guys were banged up, Adam being one of those.
Kim stood to go to the locker room the team thinking she was pissed but she returned with a wet towel and a first aid kit. "Alright sit down. Let's get you cleaned up." She pointed to his chair before washing the dried blood and treating the cuts. She also treated his knuckles making sure to prevent infections. Once he was cleaned she moved to clean up the others who had scraps. Once she was done she cleaned up the mess and headed to wash off the towel. When she returned Adam was waiting for her with arms open. "Thank you cleaning it up and not being mad." He says as he hugged her. "You are welcome. And it's our job. Shit happens. No big deal. Let's get this day over so we can head back to mine with Thai for the kids." She smiled before heading back to her desk.
The day finished with not much else happening thankfully. Like promised Adam picked up Thai on the way to Kim's house. He even included April as he knew Kim fed her most nights as well as giving her a free home in exchange for watching the kids. He even purchased a few appetizers so the kids had plenty of options. He knew they are everything but he wanted to try some new things and see how it went. Kim also had a very open mind about food excluding her allergies which were easy to handle. When he arrived it was like he was a king. They all rushed towards him hungry for dinner. "Alright Alright I just need a little space. I promise lots of food for everyone." He laughed as he placed the box of food down. He started to place the opened containers around the table and Kim placed serving spoons in each one. She made plates for the kids with a little from every container including the new items. Once the kids were set Kim fixed her own plate and started to eat.
The kids chatted about their day at school. What they learned, the friends they played with. While both kids ate every bite on their plates. Kim was quiet during dinner but engaged with the kids conversations. Adams right hand was on her knee the entire time. He was trying to provide comfort even in a small way. When the kids finished Adam helped them down so they could go play in the living room. The adults finished eating a bit later as they had seconds of their favorite dishes. Adam put the left overs in the fridge before putting the plates and silverware in the dishwasher. Kim played with the kids while April headed out for the night. She liked to go out on the town when Kim was home.
Adam returned finding them all playing but quiet. "How about a movie night in moms bed?" He watched all their eyes light up. "Sounds perfect." Kim knew the kids would fall asleep faster but it also allowed her to zone out. She needed that, she wanted them close but she was not in the right frame of mind. She needed this just as much as they did. They all headed up the stairs to get their jammies on before getting into the bed. It was literally the most precious sight. He loved watching them together. It was so wholesome, so loving, so protective. So perfect. He joined them sliding in next to Kim. Mia snuggled in his side while Milo laid on his mom. He felt his heart constricting, his stomach flutter. This is what he wanted. The whole family thing, but this family. He loved them, all of them. He really did.
It wasn't too long before Kim and the kids were sound asleep. He turned the movie off and decided to let the kids sleep right where they were. Safe and sound asleep with their mom. He figured they could all use the comfort on a day that had caused so many mixed feelings for them all. Himself included. He turned off the lights next before settling down to fall asleep with the small family. He whispered right before he fall asleep, I love you, I love you all.