Caroline was sixteen when she first saw him. She had heard Charles laughing raucously and had peeked into his study, and there he was. The most beautiful man she had ever seen, his face adorned with a dimpled smile. He was not laughing as her brother did, but his deep blue eyes held more joy than her brother's laughter ever could.

He had dined with her family that night. He had been rather quiet, but attentive. He had been around often after that. He did not speak with her much before her brother rushed him to whatever gentlemanly pursuits they had. He would nod at her and say, "Miss Caroline" and it felt like her heart burst out of her chest.

Caroline was eighteen, Louisa had married and now she was finally, finally allowed to be out in society. Mr Darcy would surely declare himself now.

He was only waiting for her coming out, she had concurred.

It was her first ball, he spoke to Charles shortly, then went to talk to his aristocratic relatives. He danced with Lady Eleanor and his cousins. He did not ask her.

It must be due to his relatives: a forbidden romance, something out of a novel. Caroline was on a mission now, she would prove to be the perfect society wife and impress his relatives. Some earls and dukes have married tradesmen's daughters, an untitled nephew marrying a tradesman's daughter wouldn't be too scandalous.

Mr. Darcy was intelligent, Mr.Darcy was kind, Mr.Darcy had that kind of dry humor that Caroline admired. He would dance with her at balls. He would sit with her as Charles scampered about admiring whoever his newest angel was. They were all the same, Blonde hair, blue eyes, never spoken a cross word. Dull and bland as they come.

As they laughed about it, a dimple appeared on his cheek and before she knew it, her crush turned into love.

Sometimes, Caroline doesn't understand. She waits on him, she does everything to show him how suitable she is, how she will fit into every aspect of his life. She would be the perfect mistress of Pemberley, she would be the perfect wife.

Sometimes, she wonders if he loves her too. She felt such a strong tug, how could he not feel it too?

Sometimes, she wonders if it was because she was a tradesman's daughter. It was one thing to befriend a tradesman's child, quite another to marry one.

He must be worried she wouldn't fit well into his life. She would alter herself, Caroline decided. There wasn't a challenge Caroline Bingley couldn't overcome. She does well in the ton, better than any other tradesmen's daughters she knows (not that she knows many now. The game of love takes sacrifice). By looking at her, no one would ever think she's anything less than a Lady. She becomes a person she doesn't recognize. It's not enough.

She does her utmost to remove the stain of trade.

It never entirely goes away.

Still, she persists. What does a gentleman's daughter have that she doesn't?

"A pedigree". She brushes away that thought.

"An estate" and there it was.

Charles doesn't think he is ready for an estate, he says he is too young to manage one.

"You must honor our father's dearest wish to become a gentleman" she says

She manages to convince Charles to lease an estate.

She had hoped Darcy would finally, finally, realize that she was the perfect wife for him. That he loved her. As she walked into Netherfield, Caroline knew Darcy would be leaving this place with a wife. It didn't occur to her that it wouldn't be her.

—-

Charles is yelling something about Darcy and his audacity to separate him and Jane.

He didn't tell Charles about her, it must mean something, Caroline decides.

What if someone told you that the person you love doesn't love you back but they do and the objection was their family? Something quite close to home for her. Caroline was willing to let Charles many some if he loved her. Jane herself was a sweet girl. But she was unwilling to sacrifice Darcy to that chit Elizabeth.

But Darcy was honest, so Caroline mused that she must be too. "Charles wait" Charles is exasperated but stops pacing and speaking.

"What is it?"

"I deceived Jane"

" why would you do that to me?"

"I thought she was just one of your infatuations"

"She wasn't"

"You must go back to Hertfordshire then"

He decides to marry Elizabeth Bennet.

Eliza makes mistakes that Caroline would _never, she is impertinent, she is not as beautiful as Caroline is. She is a country bumpkin walking around in the mud. She would never fit into the ton. She would ruin the Darcy name. She juts out of every aspect of his life. She is so imperfect for his position in life, it hurts.

Caroline does everything she can, she points out every flaw hoping he would wake up. Eliza argued with him so, it must have been the thrill of the chase. He would wake up from this delusion, of course, he would. He shakes his head, he ignores her. She tells him she's a fortune hunter. He says, "If she were, she would have accepted me the first time" and then he leaves.

She stares after him as he walks away. Eliza rejected him. How could anyone in the world ever not see him for what he is, how can anyone in the world reject him? She rejected the most wonderful man in the world, and then he asked her again. Eliza doesn't know how lucky she is.

Caroline isn't delusional enough to not know that he proposed to her. Caroline isn't delusional enough to think that he, the same as any other man, can make mistakes. He is a perfect man, but men aren't meant to be perfect. He is as perfect as can be. He too, could be allured by the thrill of the chase. The charms of begrudgingly admitted fine eyes. She knows Lady Catherine De Bourgh opposed the match (of course she did), and Darcy, a man of his stature, wouldn't take kindly to being denied something he thought he wanted. Caroline had always hoped that it would be her he fought for. In hindsight, she thinks she should've played like Eliza did but when she sees him, it's hard to think coherently. She went into battle with barely half her brain intact, of course, she lost. No one conquers anything in battles fought by the heart.

She watches as he looks at her with such an expression of love. Caroline would die to be looked at like that just once, just for a moment. Caroline recognizes that expression very well, she has seen it on her face since the very first time she saw him. She knows people think her a mercenary. She knows people think she only cares for the estate. She does care for it, of course, she isn't stupid. But if she had a choice between the estate and the man, she would choose him. She would marry him if he were a tradesman.

Eliza could never appreciate him as Caroline does.

She turns away as he kisses Eliza and the world stops, and for a moment, Caroline imagines herself beside him instead of Eliza. That it was she who he was secretly kissing behind a tree, but then her laugh reverberates through the garden and pierces her heart. Elizabeth holds the strings of his heart wrapped around her little finger and she pulls, and Caroline stumbles along with him

Caroline decides that she does not care if he wishes to throw himself at that chit like that. She, regardless of what Louisa says has some self-respect remaining. What else could she do anyway? Caroline decides she does not care.

Maybe if she says it enough, she will believe it.

She watches as he marries Elizabeth Bennet.

'Speak now, or forever hold your peace', the parson asks and Caroline almost thinks of protesting. You cannot marry her, I love you and she is not me. You cannot make a mistake such as that. She is a witch and she has caught you with her arts and allurements. She can never love you as I do.

But, he smiles. His eyes sparkle. He doesn't glance at anything or anyone else during the ceremony, not even once. She has never seen him happier

Caroline doesn't say a thing