I honestly thought I should stop apologizing for not updating. Sorry doesn't mean a thing if you'd keep doing it and I keep on 'disappearing'. Well, however. At the beginning of every year I like to get all of my stories updated once. So here I am.

Oh and look guys! This story have from yesterday (when I'm writing this) on got a cover picture. So why does it only say when? Well, if you go through my profile you're going to notice the picture is also on when life changes and when the past catches up- simply 'the when-series' which will hopefully have even more stories after this.

Enjoy…

The holidays won't start unless we go to school tomorrow

The Children's half term holidays would be starting from Friday after school the twenty fifth and nine days forward. Everybody were at the top of their excitement and in the morning everyone were running around anxious to get away.

And in the middle of it all. Marley's positive comment at the dinner table last night made all the young people in the house went crazy for going to school so they could get their holidays.

"Where's my other shoe?"

"MOVE IT!"

"MIKE! We've run out of Weetabix. What am I supposed to eat?"

"MOVE IT!"

"Can everybody just get out of the way? I start my first class…"

"MOVE IT."

I pulled a deep sigh, sunk down on the piano chair in the hallway and laid my left hand's fingers on the keys. Some naïve thought inside my head told me that maybe- some slow melody would help them calm down and at least they wouldn't run around in just a big lump…

I pushed one key down. I didn't have any sheet music- I'd never needed any. I had every move, every key and every sound in my memory- although, I hadn't played the piano for months and months- years maybe. And before I could press another one I hesitated- in the same moment as I heard George behind me.

"Emma." I turned. "None of that now." I pushed down the lid over the piano keys. "Come and help us instead. See if anyone…" He didn't have to finish the sentence. I was already… Well, I didn't exactly know what I was doing.

A part of me was shouting at the most of me that it had been a stupid ide anyway. Another part told me it didn't matter and I was stupid to even care about it. And then there was me who just felt ashamed that…. I guess, that I had done it wrong.

"Emma." I was interrupted in the middle of my thinking about what I should feel by Ella. "Can you help me tie my shoelaces? I try to remember how I tie a bow but I can't."

"Okay." I kneeled and took the laces of her frozen- printed sneakers in my hands. "Now, we're all in a rush now so there's no time. But when you come back home this afternoon. I'm going to show you again and I will show and show and show and show until you could tie your shoelaces with your tongue." Ella giggled. "There, all done."

Ella stretched her arms out while I was still on my knees and gave me the usual morning- hug. She would never leave the house without that. And I had an idea that she might already know how to tie a bow, she just wanted me to do it for her for my attention. Well that was a compliment…

"Emma." Suddenly George was right by me again. "Come…"

A sudden scream startled the both of us- and not only us as it seemed like. I didn't even know who had been screaming and my mind wasn't fast enough to know who before I heard that low thud and then something moving- hitting the wall or the floor. Again and again and again and…

"Oh no." I didn't let wait for it. I ran up the stairs without thinking. If I was wrong I was wrong and dear God tell me I'm wrong! "Oh God." For a moment when I saw Jim shaking lying on the floor I froze. Then quickly going through all of those times I had been in Jim's spot. "It's okay Jim." I pulled my hoodie over my head and folded it into a pillow. Quickly pulled Jim away from the hard wall and floor and up on the matt on his side.

"Nathan, Qwyn." Everyone had started gathering. "Get the younger kids away from here. Go to the kitchen or… or whatever just away from here. Marley… FOR CHRIST'S SAKE PUT DOWN THAT CAMERA." She nodded quickly. "Ashton, do you know where those big rolls of paper are in the kitchen?" Ashton nodded. "Get me one of those." With shaky hands I pushed my hoodie in under Jim's head and tried to get a grip of the zipper by his neck to pull it down. "It's okay Jim. It's just a seizure… it's going to be okay. OKAY EVERYBODY JUST GET AWAY FROM HERE. THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE."

"Come on kids." I heard George, yet didn't hear him at all- it was as if I heard him from the other side of a wall. "Emma's right. There's nothing left to see here." Just then Ashton came running with the roll of paper I had asked for, and I rolled for a big piece. Folded it and made sure to put right under Jim's chin and mouth.

I had shut out all the senses except for what was going on with Jim. Going through everything I had read about first aid during a seizure over and over in my head to find something else then just sit here and kept track of time and watch.

Jim's whole body was twitching and turning as in dance. His eyes had rolled back and in his eyes I could only see white, blood was running from the side of his mouth and by the time Ashton came running with the paper and I could put a sheet under his mouth there was already a stain of the blood from his tongue- he had bitten it with his jaws clenching hard.

I honestly felt like I hadn't taken a breath at all since I came into work this morning. And one memory after the other was starting to fill my head of the times I had been in the state in which Jim was now. Memories of the kind I would very much like to forget. While I only wished- mostly for my own sake that this seizure would stop soon.

And then, as soon as a seizure like this would start Jim's body stopped twitching. His arms and legs were left lying like lame towards the matt while Jim neither moved nor made a sound.

"It's okay." I patted Jim's arm when he seemed to press his eyes shut and moaned slightly. "Can you hear me?" Jim moaned again, but when his eyes opened and widened I knew that look- and exactly what was coming next.

"It's okay." I patted his arm again while Jim choked and threw up. I grabbed some more paper and put it over the paper sheet I had put there before. But when he threw up again I knew there was no other way than that the vomit would soak right through it and stain the matt right under. Oh well…

"Come here." When Jim had turned on his back and tried to sit up I laid an arm under his back and helped him. "Do you still feel sick?" he barely noticeable shook his head and almost fell to his side once he sat up. "It's okay." I caught him and sat down on his side so he could lean against me. "We can just sit here until it passes… we can just sit here."

"How are things going here?" I had heard Luce arrive and soon he was upstairs. "Is there anything I can do?" I looked down on Jim. But only for the like three minutes we hadn't moved he seemed to be falling asleep. Despite all his limbs still shaking from the muscles' exhaustion after the convulsing seizure.

"I think it would be the best if Jim only gets to bed. No school for him today." Luce nodded and carefully lifted Jim up. Jim moaned, but then gave a slight scream when Luce put him into bed.

"I know buddy. I'm sorry." Jim moaned, but then silent before he looked up at me.

"I' hu's."

"I know it hurts you Jim. Come here. Sit up. I grabbed Jim's medicines and a glass of water from his bedside table. "I know you want to sleep. You only have to swallow this and then you can."

Jim sat up with my support, but I had to push the pill into his mouth and hold the glass towards his lips. When he swallowed it seemed way too weak and I tried to shut away the thoughts of how I had always felt after these kind of seizures.

"Did you swallow it?" Jim nodded weakly. "Okay then." I moved but kept my arm behind his back and slowly sank him towards the pillow. Too fast moves would only be painful, just as the light and loud sounds. And with that I tip- toed out of the room, turned the lamp off and closed the door as carefully and quietly as I could.

"How is he?" I jumped when I heard a voice behind me and span around to see Luce there. "Why do you think he had a seizure?"

"Well…" I started for the first question. "He's… not great. But he's going to be just fine. And for the second… I don't know." When we started walking down the hallway I was hit by how insanely quiet the place was. "It might have been too much stress all at once. But still, he does have epilepsy so those seizures doesn't have to be triggered by anything in certain." When I came down the stairs Marley, Ashton, both the pairs of twins and Emily sat right by and worriedly looked at me with worried expressions. "Jim will be just fine guys. Don't worry about it."

"Isn't Jim going to school?"

"Yeah." Tracie continued her twin's question. "Because if Jim stays home I want to stay at home too." I kneeled and forced a smile at the two twins too young to be able to understand what was going on.

"Look… Tracie, Ella… What happened with Jim earlier… It is called a seizure and Jim gets them because he has something called epilepsy. He's got medicines but sometimes he has those seizures anyway. And it makes his whole body hurt especially his head. And it makes him really tired so he won't be going to…"

"He has to come to school." Before I had finished explaining what was going on I heard Violet behind me. "We have to do this stupid essay or something together. And if he… I don't care." She waved a bit. "But then I can't make my stupid essay in English class so I can stay…"

"Oh no you're not." Before I had the time to say anything Luce had turned up. "All of you. Get in the van. I'll drive you lot around and to school or you're all going to be late. Shawn, George will be driving you and Emma… you're staying with Jim. I guess… I don't know. You're staying anyway since you were the one who knew what to do… I'll be back when I've gotten all the kids to school and… see you."

And as the door closed behind Luce I finally breathed out

Random fact

Well… Jim's got epilepsy. You might remember Jim came into the story quite a bit later than all the others. That actually was because when I had the cast list that is in the cast-list-chapter no more characters were actually going to come into the dumping ground. However- about four months after I started the story I found out I have epilepsy myself. And as mentioned in this chapter, Emma had epilepsy when she was younger. Both Emma and now Jim have these grand mal seizures (they're called something else now but I never remember what) however- the kinds of seizures I have are a lot smaller and less dramatic than that kind. But right after I was diagnosed I kind of wanted to write something about it. A bit to… well… I don't know… I just wanted a character with epilepsy and so I asked wall with a fez- whom I right then did a lot of chatting with for a character and there he was.

And for more- you'll have to wait until next time