A lot of things is going to happen for several characters in this story to come. But you'll just have to trust me when I say I have ideas and everything will make sense in the end.
In the end… I actually think there's not too much left of this story. I think I told you that before but I've been going through what's left to write and I really don't think there's much left. I can't figure yet how many chapters there are left but there could be… ten or so.
There are more stories that I can see the finishing line on
-What goes around comes around
-Shake it out
-You are the best thing (that's ever been mine)
-The search for a family
I don't know how many chapters are left of them each but there aren't many- I actually don't really want to finish that last. I've had so much fun writing it.
"EMMA."
I didn't even have the time to get my jacket off after coming back to the dumping ground the day Tracie was having surgery. Ella's voice was breaking as she yelled out for me at the moment I closed the door and came running towards me…
"Hey." I kneeled and hugged her tight when she started sobbing towards my shoulder. "It's okay. Sch. It's okay…" I saw Mike behind her and knew he'd been doing his best to comfort her. "It's okay. Sch, sch, sch…"
"I-I-I tried going to… scho-ool." She explained at last. "Bu- but I-I worr-oried about Tra-acie a-all the time. A-and m-m-y-y friend Be-en said his grandma-a died du-uring surge-ery."
I held Ella as she cried wildly and loudly.
I could have strangled Mike in anger for deciding that Ella should be going to preschool…
"It's okay. Sch, sch, sch." I rubbed her back. "Hey." At last, when Ella's sobs were quieter and not as quick I moved back and gripped her arms. "Yes, a lot of people die during surgery. But those people are usually old and sick and having big surgeries on their internal organs. But Tracie is young and healthy and strong. And having surgery on an arm and having surgery on the brain or the heart are two completely different things. Okay? Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"Yes." Ella wiped her nose with her sleeve. "…but I'm still scared that maybe Tracie's surgery is going to kill her. What if Luce comes back here later today without Tracie… I've never been without her. Not until now."
"And as soon as Tracie comes home from the hospital in a day or two then you're going to be together… I promise you that."
"Pinkie swear?"
"Pinkie swear."
I hooked my pinkie in hers and then hugged her again, holding on tight but not quite as long as before.
"In a little while…" I checked my clock. "…Maybe an hour or two… Tracie will be out of surgery, and Luce will be calling as soon as he can. And he's just going to tell us that Tracie's okay. And that's the doctor's are taking very good care of her and that she's going to be fine. Okay? You know that will happen?" Ella nodded. "Now…" I suddenly heard the doorbell ringing, Mike hurried past me to get it and in came a woman I'd never seen before. "Why don't we go find something else for you to do than wait? And then time will go by faster?" Ella didn't look way to excited. "Maybe there's a movie… Something beginning with… F?"
"Emma?" I heard Mike. "Can you come with us into the office as soon as you're done?"
It was just a bit much going on right now…
"I want you to stay with me." Ella tugged my arm, I glared at Mike but he just sent me a meaning look. I guess this was just the way it had to be when I was a part of staff and not another kid like Ella or Tracie.
I could see on Mike that he had heard Ella too and he wanted to obey to her wishes too. But it just wasn't so simple as a care worker…
"I'll come and put the movie on for you. And then I'll come and be with you as soon as I can…" Ella looked as sad still but maybe in her four- year- old's mind she could understand more than what I or Mike would think. And she didn't protest while I put on Frozen on the TV. "I'll be right with you."
"I'm sorry about this." Mike was standing in the hallway still. "But we always want to be at least two when we're meeting potential foster parents for the first time. Kayla was supposed to be here but she couldn't…. Now."
The woman whom had come in was possibly in her thirties and sat waiting on the couch in the office.
"I'm sorry about leaving you waiting like this." Mike said once he and I were in the office again. "…. It's just a bit crazy around here during some days and this day is one of them." The woman smiled and gave one short laugh. "Now… Charlotte right? Can you tell us a bit more about yourself and why you've decided to foster a child?"
Charlotte leaned her head to the side and seemed to be wondering for a few seconds.
"First of all, I understand what it must be like in a place like this so don't worry about it… But well… what do I say? What do I say?"
I was on my way to give her an answer but realized quickly she had asked herself more than me…
"As you already know my name is Charlotte Andersmith and I'm 32. I usually go by Charlie. And… people has asked me so many times like when are you going to meet the right guy? When are you going to have children? Your clock is ticking… and so on. Anyway, I just want to know that my Mr. Right Guy is the one for me and then if I don't meet anyone then it's okay but… I always liked kids. I always wanted kids and there's that tick tock…. So at last I thought of this and I wondered if I couldn't… be a family for someone who didn't have one…. And that would mean my brothers would have a niece or nephew and their children would have the cousins they're longing for and nagging about… end of story."
Of course it would be up to more- a lot more than that. But any time I just knew there was someone who would find each other I just felt so happy in a way I could never have explained.
"We think there is one child living here who could be the perfect match for you…." Mike smiled and I felt myself doing the same. "His name is…"
"DAVID!"
Suddenly we had heard the front door slam open and George's voice. All three of us flinched in surprise from the noise and then heard David coming stomping hard, running down the hallway.
I and Mike only looked towards each other…
"CALM DOWN DAVID…"
We could recognize George's voice and then more banging and stomping…
"I'll go and check what's going on…"
I was more shaky than anything while I stood up and hurried out.
I couldn't help but know that David obviously was angry, he was tall to be a six-year-old, and I was short to be an adult… never mind. I was just short and David was almost as tall as me…
"What's going on?"
I realized quite quickly that George wasn't meant to be working until in a few hours…
"I don't know. The school called me and said he was… like this…"
I looked around the living room, it wasn't like I could have missed David because he was running around the room knocking things of the shelves, grabbing books and stuffed animals, anything he could get his hands on and even the guitar and threw it across the room and towards me and George.
George suddenly grabbed me and held his arms over my head when David was by the pool table and started throwing the heavy, hard balls towards us…
Some part of him seemed to still be in control. Because he hadn't touched the TV or the computer…
"AAAAAAAAH"
David screamed wordlessly as he ran right past us and into the hallway, when he kept running we suddenly heard the noise of another short person screaming slightly and then bangs as someone fell…
I grimaced, I hoped that what had sounded like it had happened didn't just happen.
It had happened, right outside the office David simply had ran straight into Charlie and they had both ended up on the floor.
David was quickly on his feet and kept running towards the kitchen…
If Charlie had been a taller person she might have been fine. But she wasn't, and he had ran her straight over…
"Oh my God…" George kept running after David and I stayed by Charlie who had fallen right over: "Are you alright?"
In that moment Mike came hurrying from the living room and I suddenly remembered that there was Ella too- how scared mustn't she had been by David's tantrum…
"I'm fine." Charlie sat up and moved all limbs. "I'm fine… You said there was a child you would think would suit for me…"
"Yeah…" Mike seemed in loss for words. "That would be… him. I don't know what's going on with him. He never acts like this. But… as I said before things have been a bit chaotic here for some time and I have to say I understand him- he's only six after all. And he's been through a lot… "
"I don't know…" Charlie seemed in loss of what to do or say. "I have to go… I have to think… Bye."
Charlie finally hurried to her feet, took her jacket and then almost ran through the hallway, we could hear the door closing after her .
"Can you stay with George Emma?"
"Yeah…" I shook my head to return to what was going on and then followed David were he was running around and around and around…
"I'M TIRED OF BEING IN CARE. I'M TIRED OF HAVING TO SHARE EVERYTHING. I'M TIRED OF WHAT PEOPLE SAYS ALL THE TIME. I'M TIRED OF HAVING A ROOM THAT SMELLS. AND I'M TIRED AND I'M TIRED AND I'M TIRED."
At last he crawled up on the kitchen bench. But before he had started dragging things out and crushed them George managed to grab him. David fell backwards and right into George's arm before George turned him so David wouldn't have another choice than to look the care worker in the eyes.
"Do you know who that was David?"
David pouted angrily and shook his head. And he didn't look like he cared at all.
"That was Charlotte Andersmith and she's been wanting to foster a child. And we were thinking it might be suitable for her to foster you."
I hadn't ever experienced a moment so silent in the dumping ground's history…
"Me?"
"Yes. You! Now. What kind of expression do you think you set?"
David hesitated…
"A bad one?"
"Yes. A bad one… And look. I don't know if she'll come back. And if she comes back I don't know if she's going to foster anyone and I don't know if she's going to foster you. The kind of temper tantrum you just threw is the kind that makes some potential fosterparents realize what it is really about…. Now do you get what I'm telling you?"
"Yes."
"Good. So now go to your room. And stay there until we say you can come out again."
David didn't look as anyone who was about to protest, with tears streaming down his cheeks he tiredly and slowly walked up the stairs with his head hanging and soon we heard his door closing.
"I do feel sorry for him you know."
"I know Em." George gave a deep sigh. "I do too. He's always been so well behaved it was only a matter of time before he… broke… Most of them do in one way or another… I was in care myself so I guess I know a little something about it…" He suddenly smirked. "I got out of there when I was sixteen and didn't ever want to put a finger into anything like this again. Then I studied to a psychologist and the rest is what we call history."
"I was too… but only for a few months… my parents and brother died in a plane crash."
"Ouch… I'm so sorry."
"It's okay… I'll go talk to David… I just… I feel like I need to talk to him…" I went up the stairs and into David and Wheezy's room. Well there I knocked on the door and went inside to where David laid on his stomach on his bed and his head so he looked away from me.
"Are you alright?"
I sat down on Wheezy's bed. And then one more time I noticed how it smelt in this room… For some reason the door was always closed though and maybe it was to keep the smell away from the rest of the house…
David didn't answer my question for almost two minutes. And when he did I guess he didn't really.
"You never get anything if you don't ask." David sniveled. "And I didn't ask for much. I never asked for much, did I Emma?"
"No you didn't…" I suppressed a sigh. "You and I both know there are people in places like this who can always find something to complain about and wants more… But you're not like that… And now you told us what you want changed and maybe we could do stuff about it, yeah?" I ran my hand over his short, dark hair "I will talk to Mike and we'll talk with the teachers are gonna take care of it…" Then there was that one question. "Now when you live here too. Are you absolutely sure you don't know where the smell come from?"
"I don't know."
David had just answered a bit too fast- he knew it way too well…
"You know you can tell us if there's anything at all you want to tell… And if it is something you should tell us about it… Now… I'll go talk to Mike about those bullies…" I got up and quickly found Mike in the hallway. "How many of the kids here are or have been bullied for being in care? I knew I had been by someone who had believed my biological family was trash and had provoked me so to the point I'd tried to throw a chair at her that had ended up going straight through a window.. But that's another story."
Mike was on his way to say something but we were interrupted when the rest of the kids came home and Wheezy was the first one to come running straight past us.
"Wheezy…" I tried after him but he didn't care about me and followed. "Wheezy…" He dropped his bag on the bed and then started hurrying around his room for something. "Wheezy…"
"I just want to go out running and I want to do it now."
Wheezy was half jumping up and down and half doing what he needed with getting his running clothes and sneakers and then headphones before he ran towards the stairs, I came right after him and saw as he stumbled in the stairs, grabbed the banister and suddenly seemed dizzy.
"Wheezy…" I called out, took a few steps down and laid my head on his shoulder. "Are you okay?"
He seemed to be swaying for just a second or two, then blinked and shook his head.
"I'm fine. I just stumbled."
I thought it was quite obvious he hadn't. He seemed dizzy and weird but I couldn't quite put my finger on how it was…
"Are you sure you're okay? I still think you should wait until you've rested and eaten dinner."
Before anything else Wheezy had ran away and down the hallway. Mike gave me a sort of given up look, then shrugged and smiled slightly.
"I guess he's old enough to make sure he feels well enough to just go outside for an hour so. And with everything that's going on with Tracie and everything it isn't strange if the children starts getting stressed… I think I'll go home now… What's on your mind David?"
David suddenly came up to us and tugged Mike's shirt. I too looked down on him…
"There's something I think you should know."
The tone in David's voice scared me, he was back to his calm self and looked worriedly from me to Mike and back again.
I sent Mike a look. And I could see on him too as he stood up and closed the door to the office.
"What's on your mind David?"
David didn't look as if he could find the words…
"I think I know why our room smells so funny…" He started. "…And… I think I know why Wheezy would get dizzy and stuff… Because… I don't think he eats very much. We learnt in school that if you don't eat properly then you might get dizzy and not feel very well…"
"But we're just about to have dinner?" Mike seemed confused. "And I always see him eat very well without a fuss… And it shouldn't have been all too many hours since you guys got to have a snack at school."
David didn't answer, he kept leading me and Mike into his and Wheezy's room and then sat down on his knees by Wheezy's bed, then reached for a big box that laid under it and pulled it out.
For months, long before I came to work here everyone had been wondering about where the strange smell in Wheezy's room came from…
"After every dinner he goes in here…." David explained over the filled up plastic bags that stacked up the box. "…And then he shoves his fingers down his throat until he throws up. He does it again and again until he can't throw up anymore… He does it as quietly as he can and always plays music meanwhile so no one will hear… I don't know why he does it."
Well David, neither do we….
Eating disorders had always fascinated me in some kind of terrible way. But to actually know it was right in front of you gave me a strange feeling.
"Are you guys very angry with me?" David asked. "I don't know what happened earlier today. I just snapped somehow and then I was just so angry…"
"No," After looking hesitantly at Mike I sat down and laid my arm around David's shoulders. "Only… These last few days have been chaotic for all of us and we're all bound to react in our own ways…" David sniveled.
"Is Wheezy going to be angry with me when he comes back since he keeps telling me not to tell anyone about this?"
"No…" I stroke his arm again. "…You did very well with telling us. Now we know we can make sure we can do something about it and Wheezy will get help."
"But that wouldn't be so hard, would it?" David asked in his childish way. "He only has to stop it."
"David…" I brainstormed and tried to explain. "There are some things called eating disorders. They can make you eat as little as possible, almost nothing. And they can mean, like Wheezy that someone eats and then make themselves throw up again. It might start with them thinking they're fat and wanting to get skinnier… But it's not as easy as it sounds to only stop doing it."
It was quiet in between us three for a long while, Mike had been about to leave but while I didn't move from the bed next to David he didn't move an inch from the desk chair…
No one said it but we all knew what we were waiting for.
And we got it suddenly when we heard the door open and close and then Wheeze's footsteps that led towards the room, David had been leaning against me but now sat up and for the first time in a long while said something when Wheezy came into the room and froze when he saw what David had done.
"I don't understand."
"I… I…"
"You know what Aidan?" For once Mike used Wheezy's real name. "I don't understand either… Why would you hurt yourself in this way?"
Charlotte Andersmith is portrayed by Lacey Chabert.
Random fact
When I was writing on love is stronger than hate a new character was being brought in. I made a competition about his names and x snow-pony x, Cookie05 and wolfwiththorns sent in their suggestions for it. I saved it in my computer and still have it.
There were boys' names so I couldn't use like any. But the name Charlie was suggested by Cookie05 and so was Andersmith. Yes, I know Charlie only can be a girls' name but I prefer it like this.
The character in listh I named was named Zachariah Smith- Zachariah had been suggested by wolfwiththorns and Smith had actually been suggested by all the three that had taken part in the competition.
As I'm writing this I actually haven't started the chapter yet but have only written the author's notes. But as you see the chapter, this is what you get for today and I hope you liked it.