Since I updated last I have finished the oldest and longest story about to be finished- "buried deep within". So that's four stories down.

"David!"

I wasn't sure if I breathed, cried or said- maybe all at once while I kneeled and pulled the young boy close to me.

"Never do that to us David." I told him shakily. "Never run away like that again."

David didn't say anything, neither to me nor Mike who had come up right behind me.

"Where have you been?" Mike asked in a carefully- sounding voice when David took a step back. "Why would you run away, and scare us like that? You must know it would." David hesitated, then said at last, but his voice sounded so dark and callous.

"It didn't matter. I am back here, ain't I?"

He made very clear that he didn't want to talk to any of us when he just turned towards the stairs and disappeared out of our sights while Mike had turned to Charlie who had come with David here. I had forgotten all about that I was going home and followed the two to the office where Charlie's voice sounded so insecure and broken when she started explaining.

"He turned up at mine, late last night. At first I was going to take him here right away. But he begged me not to and I could see why we would like to take this eye to eye and not through a phone call." Mike nodded and I felt myself doing the same when I heard what must be the worst thing ever for a care child. "Then I laid awake all night… I was wondering about what to do and I think I knew all along…"

The office- the whole house had few times be as quiet as when we waited for Charlie to finish.

"I can't be a foster parent."

There it was, and maybe we had all known all along. Maybe David knew more than any and that was a part of what made him so upset. Then of course, if anyone here was in his spot right now it would break their hearts.

"I feel like I'm the worst person in the world… but I just… with a commitment as big as becoming a foster parent, I don't want to do it unless I'm absolutely certain I'm ready and… I'm not… I feel terrible but I just can't…" Tears had come streaming down her cheeks. "…Oh, David… he's so sweet…" Mike took a box of tissues from the desk and reached it to her. "Thank you..."

None of us said anything while Charlie cried silently for a long while. I wish there was something I could have said that would make this better for her and maybe so she'd be able to take care of David.

"Maybe… I don't know if it was that tantrum, he threw that made me see it, or when he showed up at mine… but maybe I forced something. Something I knew all along isn't there…"

"I honestly think it would have made you a worse person if you'd decided to foster and then for some reason David had ended up back here." Mike said calmly. "And I also think that we should bring him in here and you should be the one to tell David about this?" Charlie hesitated, then nodded. "Can you go and get him, Emma?"

"Of course." I got up, David lied on his stomach on his bed, he had his head lying so he wasn't looking away at the door. "David? Can you come downstairs? Charlie and Mike need to talk to you some more."

"Why?" He asked, without turning to look at me. "She just said she was taking me back here. And that should be enough, she didn't answer when I asked if I can stay with her… it's okay…" He sighed, as deeply as I had ever heard a child's sigh before. "…I didn't expect her to be my mummy anyway."

A lump had risen in my throat, my heart was breaking for the billionth time since I started this job. And I didn't know what to do else than to force my own feelings away and make him come with me.

"It's not so simple David." I said, forcing the shakiness down my throat. "Don't you want to come into the office with me, and hear what she has to say?" David didn't answer at all at first, then he turned his head and looked at me, before he got up. "That's a good boy." I had my arm as usual laying towards my side and while we walked downstairs I felt him slipping his little, cold hands into my bigger and warmer.

"Here." When we came into the office I lead him to sit on the couch next to Charlie. "Now, there are some things Charlie needed to say…." I gestured for her to start while I sat down next to Mike. While Charlie talked to him and told David what she had done to us, David didn't move as much as a muscle. His stare at her made her even more uncomfortable than she already was and she stuttered while talking…

"So…." David started when she finished talking. "You don't want me?"

Out of all heartbreaking things there were to happen...

"It's not that I want… It's just that I can't. My own parents and friends have been asking and nagging me about when I should have a husband, and kids. And I just got tired of their nagging and forced something that I shouldn't have. It wasn't until after meeting you that I saw what I would be signing up for. And I saw it would do more harm than good- loads of it! For the both of us."

"Maybe Peityn was right then. You could have wanted someone sweet like her, rather than someone like me."

"That's not what I mean David…"

"Maybe if she was just being… Peityn, if she was sweet and kind and went along with everything…"

"You are way more sweet and kind than anyone else I have ever known. And everything else any parent, biological or not could ever wish for. And I wish it could be with me, I really do… but…" Tears came streaming down her cheeks again. "…I just can't. And I think you might understand it more when you're a bit older."

Charlie was right about that. Right now, as a heartbroken six-year-old maybe couldn't see how a foster home couldn't be anything else, harder than where he would have to live and grow. While in fact all it had to do how much it took mentally. He'd probably understand that as he got older…

Not that that made it any easier now. While both Charlie and David must have apologized a thousand times for everything they couldn't have changed, while Charlie left and Mike followed David back to his room.

"I thought you went home." Mike said when he came back into the office and sat down. "Weren't you about to go just when Charlie and David turned up?" I nodded- I could barely remember that far back anyway, nonetheless when Mike continued talking about David. "Unfair…" He said, as if it could be anything else for anyone at a place like this. Mr. and Mrs. Vertex had David by the time they had given up on ever having kids. And they were the best parents and then, four years later- boom!"

"They died in a car crash, right?" Mike nodded. "You're right, so unfair… and even though we both say it there couldn't ever be words to express it… There are so many terrible people out there. Nonetheless people who should never have any children at all. Then there are people that just doesn't want children despite they'd be good parents. Or people that wants children more than anything but can't… How can anything be so unfair? Then there are parents who's like David's- the greatest- boom!"

I didn't want to think about myself in what happened now, I just couldn't help it. While my dad had been travelling away for months at the time, while my mum had worked as a doctor, I always knew I had them by my side to help me if I needed, even if not always literally. No matter what happened I wouldn't ever have to hesitate if they loved me more than anything.

"I've only ever had to care for a child who had lost her family in a plane crash." Mike gestured towards me. "But when I started as a care worker, thirty years ago I wouldn't have been able to imagine to see and hear and know everything, every kind of parent and child I have worked with here."

"I've only been here for a couple of months." I agreed "But David...Emily... Marley… Violet… So many of the kids have just got stories I could never have imagined." Mike nodded.

"I still see it with every new child that comes…" Mike said, then his voice changed a bit. "And still. Children are just… children. They laugh, they play, they live, they love… They have good grades… and bad ones… they have hobbies… and birthdays… They're just… children. And especially, coming to school events or birthdays… I seem like any other parent coming there… Talking about that, only a few days after her birthday it's the anniversary since Violet's mum died. So, the time in between… now and Christmas will probably a bit chaotic… a bit more chaotic than they usually are for her…"

"How long will it be?"

"One…" I raised an eyebrow. "I know. Violet has a way with not showing how she feels but… we can't force her neither."

"Behind all that spoiled and those teenage tantrums… She must be hurting so bad…. Just a child…" Mike nodded agreeing. "Where's her dad?"

"She lived with him for a couple of weeks after… you know what! He dropped her off here. Now all he does is send us checks of hundreds of pounds every month." I couldn't help but snort. "…All kinds of parents!"

I was about to answer, even though I didn't quite know what about all the kinds off parents, children and families there were. But before I had, all of a sudden we heard as the door opened and, even though no one spoke we heard two people coming in.

"That must be George with Tracie."

"DIdn't you just go home?" George asked, looking surprised when he saw me. "You've been here…"

I just ignored what he said looking at Tracie. I would have expected her to come running in., happy and excited to be home from the hospital- just being herself really. But I had to say I didn't quite recognize the girl who stepped inside the door and looked around as if there was something around she hadn't seen before… And it wasn't just about the scrapes and bruises and a big sling and cast.

"Welcome home Tracie." I had to try, didn't I? "Are you excited at being home again? No more hospital smell."

"Hmm…" She hesitated without looking at anyone. "Is Ella home?"

"You just asked me that." George said. "And I took her to school just before I came to get you. Did you need Emma to confirm?" Tracie didn't answer.

"I'll just go and watch TV."

I followed Tracie with my vision but didn't walk after her before I turned to George.

"She barely said anything on the way home," George said worriedly. "But, oh well. If she wants to talk about something she'll come to one of us. And she must be tired after two surgeries and medicines and all kinds of things… now. Weren't you about to go home?"

"I was about to." I answered. "Then, just as I was about to go David came." George froze in his movements. "He was with Charlie and she decided not to foster him."

"What?"

I sighed once again while we went towards the office. Then turned my head when I heard the TV.

"Mike's in the office if you want to talk to him. I should probably go check so Tracie isn't watching something for adults."

"Probably a good idea." George smirked, but the sad and distressed look was still in his eyes. "You never know with that girl."

I went into the lounge, Tracie didn't look up when I came in. I had actually never seen her as quiet and still and concentrated as she was with Home Alone on the TV.

"I watched this movie with Marty before. Are you going to turn it off and say I'm not old enough to watch it?"

"It's okay." I sat down next to her but she shook my arm off. "You know…. If there is something bothering you, you can always talk to me, or Luce, George or Mike."

"I know."

I wanted to say something. I wanted to ask something so that she would open herself about whatever it was that was bothering her. But I didn't want to nag her and I couldn't find the words to say anything.

"Will Ella be home soon?"

Random fact

Since updating last I have read through some of the forms that were sent in when I started the story (I have them saved in my laptop). Him running away was a storyline from David's form. And in this chapter there's also another few storylines from the forms started.