I forgot to tell you in the last author's note. But what Marty says "my mum kept on telling me I was ill" was the line Marty would say in his syoc form. And so is the storyline about Marty having a day out with his mum.

The title of this chapter is a version of one of the episodes of Tracy Beaker Returns. Viva Carmen, in which Carmen has a day out (and a bit more) with her mum and Tracy comes with them.

I've been working on this chapter for months and barely writing or updating anything else- oops! I have however posted two Oneshots, one for the fault in our stars (in memory of my grandmother) and one for Harry Potter.

"Are you ready?" I asked Marty on Saturday morning, the day after he had told me about his mum, and he was looking quite pale and afraid where he sat in his desk chair and ready to go. "You know, you can still change your mind. No one will force you to go." Marty didn't say anything for a long while. "Or are you ready?"

"I'm ready…" He said at last, but his voice had the same, callous tone as yesterday. When he whispered, I wasn't sure if it was to himself only or to me. "…I have to do this."

I wanted to say something out loud, but I couldn't figure anything that would be good enough. At last, I patted Marty's shoulder and went to get my jacket in the office when Shawn suddenly caught up with me.

"Emma…" I froze in my moves. "I heard that you were going with Marty into town. I was looking through the magazine and commercial from the toy store. I found this…" He held a picture up, and a pack of Frozen makeup and fake jewelry. "I'll be going myself into town someday because I also want to get gifts for Aryan and David. But here's the thing I really want to get for Ella. And something just tells me that if I couldn't get the chance to get it today it would be sold out in no time. So, if you find it today, is there any chance you can buy it? I'll pay you so the gift is from me of course."

I took the picture Shawn had cut from a magazine. And then I couldn't help but smile slightly, after everything she had been through Ella deserved something that could make her smile and this would for sure.

"I don't want to put too much on you." Shawn said, of course as kind and careful as he ever was. "But it would be great."

"Of course." I tried to promise him, but I didn't know if he believed me. "I'll sort it out. If I don't get the chance today, I'll go back later or tomorrow… Wow." I looked down again at something a Frozen-fan like her would love. "Ella will love this one, and after everything she deserves it…" I quickly brainstormed for something else. "I can take all Christmas gifts I buy home to mine for now. So, no one will be opening it early." Shawn laughed slightly, but it sounded forced. "Would you like me to do that with this?"

"Please do… So many of these kids have their ways with finding out what are in the wrapped gifts otherwise."

"I can imagine." It was my turn to laugh while I remembered what I and Jonas had been like the last few days before Christmas Eve. "I'll store it all at mine. Yours too."

"You don't have to get me anything."

I was just about to tell Shawn that I was planning to get Christmas gifts for everyone. Including for the care workers, but then just as I did Mike came up to me and Marty was right behind him.

"Well…" We could hear a taxi coming up outside. "When you meet Marty's mum- her name is Gloria Martinez. She won't attack you or anything of that matter. Had she been one of those I of course wouldn't have let you go with despite the social services let them see each other. Well, you can just introduce yourself as usual… Anyway… If you do something such as eat lunch with them, and you probably will. You can just save the receipt and give it to me… Now, you don't exactly have to follow every step they take. And you can take looks around the stores if you want. Just… use your brain really."

"Of course, it seems obvious to you." I muttered. "You've been working with this for… a hundred years." Mike glares at me but his eyes still have a sparkle in them. "It's okay. I can go. Are you ready Marty?" Marty doesn't say anything but I can as good as hear his heart beating hard.

"Well. If you want… at last, whether you keep gifts here or at yours or anywhere. When we receive gifts from others- friends or family. We need to open them. Just to make sure the kids aren't given anything they shouldn't have."

"Of course…" From the taxi standing in the driveway, we could hear someone honking for the second time. "Time to go."

I laid a hand on Marty's back, his hands seemed shaky when he took takes his jacket. I didn't say anything more since I knew what he'll be answering anyway. Then I decided to sit in the back seat with him rather than in the front seat by the driver.

Marty didn't say anything more for that whole ride, I didn't either. I just couldn't think of anything more by now. Instead, just as the taxi pulled over in front of the mall and I paid the driver I squeezed his shoulder. Then looked around, we had had some ideas that I'd see a picture of Marty's mum so I could recognize her right away but just hadn't gotten around to it.

Marty did have some dark, Hispanic looks to him. If his mum's name was Gloria…

"JEPSON!"

To be honest, I sometimes forgot that Marty's real full name wasn't Marty.

She broke through the crowd, right in front of my eyes and came running over to him. Before I or him, (what would I have done anyway) could react to it she wrapped him up tightly in a hug.

"I've missed you so much since the last time we met. Now let me look at you properly…" Gloria took a step back and grabbed Marty by his shoulders as she looked him over up and down and back again. "You're growing so fast baby. It seemed like it was almost the last time we met that you were still in diapers… I wish I could meet you more often. Just like all other parents do."

Marty only watched her for a few seconds. He didn't say anything and still looked as callous as he did before we left elm tree house.

"I'm only caring for you…" Gloria promised and I remembered how Marty had shown and told me about the scar on his chest. "People just don't get that. If they did then there would be no way you were taken away from me. All children are supposed to be with their mothers. You too."

I didn't dare say anything. If I could have said anything I would probably make it even worse for Marty. And if there was anything I didn't it was just that.

Not counting time, I didn't know how long how they had been holding on for. But it must have been for at least five whole minutes. And it felt even longer when I saw Marty was trying to get himself out of the embrace but his mum would never have let him. Marty moved his eyes and I could see him looking at me….

"Mum…" He said at last. "…We need to… Now… Please."

"Oh," Gloria's voice was shaking. "I just want to hold on forever…" She finally took a step back but carefully stroke his cheek. "My little boy…"

"Mum…" Marty said at last, he must have heard what she said actually but didn't show any of us that he had and then gestured towards me. "…This is Emma. I wanted her to come with me this time." Gloria looked me up and down. "She's a new care worker and I trust her."

"Where's Mike?"

"Mike's back at Elm Tree House of course. I wanted Emma to come with us today."

For just a second, I felt a gust of happiness in the pit of my stomach. After all, I had only known him and care for a few, short months but it felt nice to me when he said he trusted me anyway, despite Gloria not going to and glaring at me as if Marty in care was my fault.

"It really sucks I can't meet you on my own…" She said, her voice cold as ice. "Every mother should be able to. Every mother should be able to care for their child just like I do for you."

Marty sent me a meaning look, this probably wasn't near the first time Gloria had mentioned this and he slightly touched the front of his jacket where he had the scar from the last time he had been with his mum.

If that was caring from a parent…

"I should be able to always give them to you." She held up a plastic bag she had brought with her. "I look for things you'd like every time I'm downtown. Now, I can't give it to you…" Once again she glared at me as if it was my fault. "…But some of your carers will have to check what it is so I won't give you whatever you're all afraid of. Here…" She handed me the plastic bag and I pulled my backpack off. "You're going to have to take it anyway. So you might just as well take them now." I pulled up from the bag two gifts, one in happy birthday wrapping paper. And one in Harry Potter Christmas wrapping paper. "I guess you can tell which is for which time. Or do I have to put sticky notes on them too? Here's a Christmas card too." Just as I put the gifts in my backpack, she handed me an envelope. "Or are you blind too?"

"Mum." Marty whined; I couldn't blame him. "Stop it with that mocking tone. Nothing of what's happening is her fault… Or Mike's… nor anyone else's. And you know what happened…"

"I was just trying to care for you." Gloria was now pouting with tears- real or not in her eyes. "Why couldn't people just understand that? Not even you could understand that, huh? Jep, the first time I held onto you. And when I looked you in the eyes the first time. Or woke you up since you were screaming with cholic… I knew I loved you more than anything. And there is nothing I wouldn't do for you and to make sure you're well. And I did that.. for a while, then… I just made a mistake. I just made a mistake and they took you away from me and locked me up… Now come on…"

Marty sent me a meaning look and I had figured he was probably going to do that a lot today.

"Thanks to them this is the only time of this year I'll get to meet you. And this is the last time I get to meet you before you're turning a number with two digits. So something's got to be changing. And do you know what? I'm changing too. And it looks like I'll finally get out of that stupid mental hospital. Then I can come and get you and we will live happily ever after. Isn't that what you've always wanted baby?"

The look in Marty's eyes had changed. And he really did look afraid. I could have kicked myself for being as stupid as I was for coming here with him. There must be something I could say! Something Mike or George or Luce would have thought of during all their years of working in care.

"I-"Marty stuttered a bit. "It- it's probably not that simple."

"I know… but every day I have to be away from my baby boy, Jepson is like pure torture… It makes it feel just a little bit better with the knowledge that someday we're going to be together again."

I couldn't see his face, but I could tell on his whole expression that Marty wanted to mostly cry.

"There aren't many of those people you live with that can go back to their parents, right?"

"Mum…." Marty's voice sounded weak and shaky. "Once again, it's not that simple. And none of your business. And as for several of them their parents are dead…. Right, Emma?" Marty sent me a pleading look.

"What do you know about being in care?"

"I was… During a few months but anyway. My parents and brother were the world's best. But they all died in a plane crash, now ten years ago. And just like Mar…. Jepson just said. It's none really of your, or our business what the others have gone through that have put them in care. To each their own. But of course, a lot of the kids would love it if they could live with their parents. But like Mar… Jepson just said. It's not that simple and would include months of meetings and different tests to make sure everyone was still safe."

I hoped that whatever I could think of saying would be somewhat comforting to Marty. I would have to talk to him again in private back at the dumping ground but I couldn't do it here right in front of Gloria where she could hear every word I said.

"Now…" Desperately I looked around and tried to find something else to talk about, something that wouldn't scare Marty half to death- poor thing! "Have you eaten, Gloria? I saw you at breakfast Marty…. Maybe we should start with going to get something to eat…" Marty had barely been able to touch his breakfast earlier.

"Oh yes." Gloria said, grabbing her son by the arm. "Are hamburgers and chips still your favorite?"

Before anything else she pulled Marty with her towards the nearest McDonald's. And I couldn't do else than follow while I had pressed Marty's gifts down into my backpack, and pulled it on while it was slightly more uncomfortable than it had been before.

Gloria had ordered food for herself and her son before I had the time to actually ask Marty about what he wanted. I ordered and paid for myself but barely did I have the time to before Gloria had the time to choose a table in a corner of the restaurant while I could do nothing else than follow. Hearing Mike's voice in my head that I didn't exactly have to follow every step they took in their heals but still have them where I could see them.

It wasn't exactly a secret that Marty was a lover of food, especially burgers and pizza and everything that could be eaten without cutlery. Right now, despite barely having eaten anything for breakfast and his favorite food right in front of him he only nibbled on some chips and the burger and the bites seemed to be growing in his mouth while Gloria just kept on babbling about how much she really did care for him and how upset she was that they were split from each other.

"And…." She changed somehow just as we were leaving the restaurant. "…every time I'm going to meet you I contact your dad too. But Callum always gives me a lecture about how he doesn't want to see you- ever. And he tells me never to contact him again but I always do in case he's changed his mind the past year… Now…" Maybe there was a chance she saw the heartbroken look in Marty's eyes but probably not. "He never gives me any money to buy something for you. But with my own money I can still buy things for you know. Such as today. Now come on, there is only once a year I can go to the toy store with you and buy something for you. Like all parents can. Can't you just be one of those kids that throw yourself on the floor and scream about wanting something. That would be so much fun rather than you not even asking for something you want. I can buy it for you."

"I'm a bit too old for that mum. And when kids like that are there it's just… embarrassing!"

"Yes. But I want the whole world to know we're there." She grabbed his arm and pulled him with her into the same toy store where I had been with Johnny. "And they have lots of Harry Potter merchandise here. Where are the Gryffindor sneakers I gave you?" I remembered back to a day when everything had gone wrong and turned into chaos. When a rat had come into the house, Marty killed it and Peityn threw up on his shoes in disgust.

"I was growing out of them anyway. But one of them, little, annoying kids threw up on my shoes."

I was about to scold him- Peityn was a little girl and only a few years younger than himself. But I decided against it thinking about what we were doing right now and everything that had happened that day.

"Threw up?" Gloria questioned. "…Disgusting! I will have to get you some new ones. But I don't know if I can do that here…" She mumbled something. "Threw up on your shoes? Disgusting! What a little brat!"

I waited for a few seconds and remembered the chaos of that day. And after it all, Peityn had sort of ruined Marty's favorite sneakers but it wasn't quite her fault. Even though Peityn wasn't exactly best friend of Marty's.

"Things like that are just stuff you sort of have to deal with when living in a house full of kids. And she was just a little kid…" Gloria made another, disgusted noise. "Stop that! She couldn't help it… It's a long story… I don't think they have shoes like that in here… But Emma, you were buying something for Shawn, right? Some Christmas gift for Ella?"

"Stop caring for Emma and Ella and Shawn…" Gloria whined. "I want to buy something for you now I finally have the chance. Just point at some Harry Potter thing or anything you want. I'll buy it for you."

We were just passing the shelves with Frozen Merch, which made it possible for me to for a moment turn my vision away from them, and right away I saw the makeup and jewelry set that Shawn was going to give to Ella. I grabbed it and seeing that shelf almost empty I could figure his feeling was right. Some of the things here would completely have run out with the time in a couple of weeks. If not days.

I was about to buy the gowns I was planning to buy for Ella myself when something else caught my eye. A Frozen nightlight that reminded me of the nightlights I'd already gotten for Jim and David. And smiling, a bit inwards and to myself I remembered a Christmas, I must have been seven or so and I didn't have any other wish bigger than one for my own lava lamp.

I just couldn't help but remember my disappointment when I put it up, lit it and there was no lava. Then my joy when I woke up in the middle of the night, when the lamp had warmed up and I saw balls of lava moving up and down, lighting clear in a dark room.

Pink hadn't been my favorite color for years by now. I had just grown out of it. But as I turned my concentration back to where it had to be I made a mental note about the nightlight. To where Marty who was looking around desperately, trying to think of something he might be wanting.

"Come on Jepson…" I could hear Gloria almost whispering to her son and she hadn't seen me turning towards them. Let's leave. We should be able to leave. Just be without a care worker for just a little while at least." I sent her a meaning glare to show that I had heard her. She spoke up again, a bit louder for me too to hear this time. "I should be able to take my own son with me."

"Come on mum…" Marty said, he looked tired and it broke my heart. "You know we can't. And you know why…" He tried to think of something else to say I could tell. "A skateboard. I'd really like a new skateboard." Before anything else Gloria pulled him with her towards the sports' section and, holding onto the pack of Frozen makeup and jewelry tightly, half ran after them not to lose them out of my sight.

There were a total of eight different skateboards in two lines, of different colors and sizes and Marty looked, twisted and turned each and every one of them for a whole minute, weighing them in each hands before he at last returned to one of the first ones he'd checked out. A black one on top and on the backside it was checkered like a chess board in black and white, and I was surprised he didn't choose one more colorful. But then he reached for some special skateboard stickers with Harry Potter theme.

"I like this one… I have my own money so I can buy the stickers then really… make it my own you know." Marty dug his pocket for money, despite us meeting his mum and giving me some Marty had gotten a few bills that he could use without a care if he'd go broke.

"Don't mind about that. I just want to spoil you, now I have the chance. And I want to get you whatever you want today." Gloria grabbed Marty by the hand again and rushed through the store. I could do nothing else than hold on tight to what I was buying and half-jog after them.

Coming out of the store, when I and Marty were carrying matching plastic bags, I suddenly thought of how this must look so normal to anyone around. Marty- out with his mum and getting something he asked for that he wanted… The plastic bags that looked just the same for us than anyone else got.

Yet, despite the act that we had only met Gloria about an hour ago, and it was planned that we would be together for several more hours. Something was just about to change and it was about reminding us of what had brought us to this.

"Hey, Jepson…" Gloria suddenly stopped with a frown in her forehead and she first grabbed Marty's shoulder to stop him, then grabbed his chin to hold his head still and checked something. "Isn't that a new birthmark?" She asked before neither I nor Marty himself had had the time to answer. "On your eyelid? I can't remember ever having seen it before. Do you have any other birth…"

That was when I realized how this wasn't just another kid, this wasn't just another parent with another day of shopping. The scars on Marty's whole body weren't from falls he had made clumsily….

"Mum!" He moaned, and his voice had risen since the last time he'd spoken. "It's always been there and it's just a birthmark and…"

"I just want to make sure it's just a birthmark… marks and scars and everything can be indications of something much worse you know."

"I know… You taught me, remember?"

"You don't have to be rude… I'm only trying to care for you."

Suddenly, as if he'd waited to do it Marty pushed his mum away.

"Get off."

Before anything else he turned and ran away, away from Gloria and away from me. Soon getting lost in the crowds trying to do their shopping for Christmas gifts and as worry tensed in my stomach.

"I just want to care for him…" Gloria cried, almost yelled. "Why can't people just get that?" For just a second, before I ran after Marty, I looked at her. "I just want to care for him. I love my son."

Well, she had a strange way of showing that!

A lot of parents, mine included cared and worried way too easily. But right then, in Gloria's eyes I could see something else. Something about how she had almost cared for Marty so to the point she almost killed him.

Something about how she cared enough to be at this point where they could only meet once a year and she couldn't even give him a Christmas gift without some adult having to check what it was.

"JEPSON?" She yelled. "JEPSON?"

She too got lost in the crowd of people around us. While I could feel my heart beating so hard it pounded in my ears, and didn't know what to do. I could hear Gloria still yelling or him but I couldn't stand the thought of running around like a dizzy hen like she did. And had a feeling there must be somewhere obvious Marty had gone. Knowing there really was nothing else for me to do, I pulled up my phone to call Mike. Maybe he could come in the car or maybe he, who had known Marty the longest would know where Marty had gone.

Then, as my vision was suddenly scanning over everything I could see- unfortunately not Marty anywhere and I was just about to call when I suddenly thought of where he must be. And I hurried, almost ran to the skate park that was only down the street. It was now empty, despite no snow it was very cold outside so it was empty- or almost empty.

At one of the skate jumps, almost like up on a shelf sat Marty. And for just a second I was filled with relief and froze where I stood while I walked up to the jump, as close to Marty as I could without going up at it. Marty was looking away from me but something in his body language told me that he had heard and seen me coming.

"Are you okay?"

It was stupid. But what other question was I supposed to ask.

"Yeah…"

Not until then it hit me how incredibly small Marty was and looked. Just like his mum had just spoken he was only in February turning two digits for the first time. Yet he was going through, and had been going through things that was way harder than any adult should have to.

"Do you remember the first night you worked?" He asked and I nodded, how could I forget? "I thought I had a stomach flu but it turned out to be appendicitis… I was thinking the whole night it didn't seem like a stomach flu. That it hurt too much but… I thought it would be only me… or I had become like my mum."

My whole head was filled with memories of the night we had spent believing both Marty and Wheezy had the stomach flu upon so much else that had happened.

"You hadn't become like your mum though… I promise you that. Marty. If you're ever not feeling well or in pain, you're allowed to say that. And right now, while still so young you're supposed to tell an adult." Marty sighed deeply and yet one more time, then none of said anything for several minutes.

"JEPSON… JEPSON… JEPSON…"

Suddenly we could hear Gloria's voice again. Marty turned towards it but didn't make any other intention to move and I understood I would have to go next.

"Would you like to go to her more?... Or would you like to just go home?"

"JEPSON…"

"I…" Marty hesitated at last. "I don't think I've been Jepson for a long time. Maybe I never really was." He came jumping down onto the ground next to me. "Come on. Let's just go home."

Gloria, who is named after and somewhat inspired by Gloria in modern family is portrayed by Sofia Vergara. Marty's dad is briefly mentioned and is portrayed by Noah Wyle.

Random fact

I have and will have so much fun choosing Christmas gifts for everyone. I look them all up on Google, save pictures and note them all. I think that makeup/ jewelry set for Ella was one of the first I found.

Of course Ella's gifts are the easiest since I only have to Google "Frozen merch" and then scroll through the pictures for something suiting.

That story about wishing for a pink lava lamp is a true one.

I'll post a picture on my Instagram "Linneagbfanfiction" now, of Ella's gift, Marty's new skateboard and the stickers, as well as the wrapping papers of Marty's gifts.