Happy new year! Or gott nytt år as I usually say. I hope you've all had a merry Christmas. As I'm writing this, I'm a bit over an hour into 2024. So I hope everyone has a nice year.

And as usual I start this year with working on each of my stories.

Quite a bit into the afternoon I woke up on Sunday. While it took me a while to remember I saw my phone was blinking with at least one new text message.

When I grabbed the phone and looked at it I saw there were twenty-one.

I scrolled through them all, then stopped at the last that had only been sent about thirty minutes ago.

Are you awake yet? I'm starting to become worried.

I smiled a bit to myself when I noticed that each and every of the messages came from Johnny. And no matter what he had said all morning it would mean that he cared about me. I couldn't even imagine how much I had worried him before I pressed to answer and quickly wrote what felt right for the moment.

'I'm awake now. Sorry. Yesterday was rough and I had trouble sleeping. If you want to, you can come visit me at my place. We can have some brunch and plan from there. I live on the second floor of Rigsby Avenue nr. 10.

I couldn't even believe understand why there would be a reason for me not to tell Johnny where I lived. He would probably have known before the end of the day anyway…

I'm on my way.

It hadn't even been two minutes before he sent a reply, I felt bad when I saw him in front of me- had he really been so worried?

As I got up from my couch that I had slept on tonight I could hear my stomach rumbling, reminding me of exactly how long it had been since I ate- a meal with Marty and his mum I hadn't even had the chance to finish. And with it I wrote another quick message to Johnny.

Please bring pizza.

But I still needed to not smell like sweat and skunk when he came around. So I went to get a quick shower and just as I came out of the bathroom there was a ring on the doorbell.

"I should have left it unlocked…" I told Johnny as I came. "…, But then of course, I don't know if you'd have appreciated walking in on me in my underwear."

"I wouldn't have minded." Johnny smirked. "I hope ham and cheese is okay."

"Yum..,. Come in, I usually eat in the living room… Well, living room- kitchen- bedroom." I went into the main room of the flat. "In front of the TV." I sat down on the big couch I had and had slept on tonight. "Well, over there- in the corner there's a bed, there's a TV and my laptop. I keep track on all bills and make sure I pay all of them… I don't think I need much else." Johnny looked around.

"It's a bit boring and bear. Maybe you would like some picture frames or posters, or more colourful bedsheets. I know what to get you for Christmas then,."

"A gift card at IKEA then… Or maybe Tee has some that I can have?"

"She has loads. I'm sure she'd like to make some. Is your favourite colour still pink?"

I shook my head, just then my stomach rumbled with hunger again. I opened the pizza box Johnny had brought and found the pizza had already been cut into pieces. So I took one and then put the box down on the table.

"Are you sure there will be anything left for me to eat?"

"I'm sure. If there's not enough for me in the end I'm sure I can get something to buy…" I hesitated. "I still only have a couple of Christmas gifts. And of course I work most days, and now the whole street will be filled with people… Maybe today's the day to go and do some shopping. Do you know if any of the stores are open even though it's Sunday and advent?"

"I passed a few open stores on the way here. So at least the biggest malls are open during a few hours. So if you want to, we could take a couple of hours at least… Of course, since it's only a couple of years since I left there are still kids there that I know better than you."

"Shawn maybe? Because I have absolutely no idea about what to get for a Christmas gift for a teenage boy."

Johnny had his mouth full of pizza and cola and didn't answer right away. And meanwhile I just watched him during the couple of seconds I was chewing too.

During the years that had passed since I came to Elm Tree House and was together with him the first time I had had a date or three with different boys I liked. But it was remembering the kiss we had shared in Elm Tree House's driveway, and my pain when I found out he had cheated on me that always had me realizing that what I felt for them was nothing- and it wasn't just about sharing the experience of a care home.

And now, as I watched him with his brown hair and grey-green eyes I felt it all at once.

How could I even have lived during the past years?

"Are you okay Emma?" I was suddenly pulled from all of my in-love-thoughts. "You're staring at me so weirdly. You told me you met one of the kids' parents yesterday and those are usually… interesting."

"I noticed." I said, still a bit half in thought. "But… It would probably have been better if Mike, Luce or George came with him but he really wanted me for some reason and it wouldn't have felt right to leave it be…. I'm really not finished eating yet. But when I am…. We are. Maybe you would like to come with me downtown."

"Well…. Sure. I mean- boyfriends are for carrying more bags aren't they?" Johnny laughed slightly. "I mean… if that's what I am to you. Otherwise I can be something- someone else. Like a guy-buddy or something."

I laughed so hard the cola I just put in my mouth went down the wrong pipe and during a couple of minutes I couldn't catch my breath enough to tell him a word.

"Guy- buddy? Ha! I think boyfriend could do just enough."

I couldn't help but just to watch Johnny for a while. Piece by piece realizing how much I had missed him. And the happy feeling in my stomach when he called himself my boyfriend.

"So… This whole big mall…" Right after the meal, I and Johnny didn't let wait for it. "…And I have a whole group of kids to get Christmas gifts for… now…" I turned to a store right inside the doors. Where I had found the bath bomb for Violet, they also had makeup and spa things of all kinds. "I found something for one of the girls in here the other day." I went over to some shelves they had put right outside the doors to the stores. "I first thought I would have some real trouble finding gifts for her… let's look over those shelves… She probably wouldn't be happy with anything I can afford and her birthday is also in a few days.… maybe she would like something… something like this." I found a pack of different colored nail polishes. "Yeah… Is there someone that you know that you think could like too?"

"Well, I don't know many of the kids since I left so long ago. But I think Brielle could probably like those nail polishes too. And if you get it for her you have both her birthday and Christmas gift both sorted."

"That's not a bad idea." I grabbed another case of the nail polishes. "I'll have to write a list of all of the kids' names and the gifts I'm getting for them or I'll end up with someone getting several ones and someone else getting none."

I could suddenly see in front of me what it would be like if I came with a whole bunch of gifts for Brielle and Peityn but none for the others…

"I think I might find something for Tee here too… of course I have to get several gifts for her…. Hmm. Can you find anything?"

Johnny found a spa set with something called "Baïja paris" with some body wash and stuff. It had a really pretty box with flowers on it. So while he decided on that I paid for the nail polishes for Brielle and Violet before we left that store.

"Well…. I think I'm done with that store because I have several more gifts from there." I said and looked around, trying to figure where I was. "Next… hmmm… maybe we should find a book store, or where could they have some wrapping paper and stickers? Because I'm quite certain that if I don't put a sticker with their name on them I'll be forgetting which ones are for who… well, you get it."

"I made the mistake of not getting any stickers last year…" Johnny laughed. "Then I tried to remember… It didn't work."

"Now." I looked around one more time just as we passed an electronic store. "Well… I can't afford getting anyone new phones and laptops. But perhaps the electronic stores could have something- like nice headphones or something."

The thought of Wheezy passed by, he kept mostly to himself so I didn't know him as much as I knew some of the other kids. But I had already made up my mind that I was going to give each of the kids at least one gift. And then I saw in front of me what would happen, and what would be said if I came with everyone except for him. It wouldn't be pretty…

Coming into the store, a long line to the left were different kinds of lava lamps. And before I had said anything to Johnny about when I had wished for one, I saw one with a small tornado in it.

"If I ever knew Tracie Heart right…" He said before me. "She'd love that one with a tornado in it."

"I just thought the same thing." I looked over the whole line of them. "And look at that one. With the glitter, shifting in rainbow's all colors…. That would be perfect for a little girl, I'd need two gifts for her since her birthday is right after New Year's." I took both of the boxes with the lava lamps. "Perfect."

Some shelves in the store had some smaller electronic things on them. A part with computer things had computer mouse's and microphones. The idea hit me that maybe Wheezy would like a pair of headphones to wear whenever he went out running.

But would that be a good idea? I suddenly remembered what he had been like, always trying to lose weight and that was what all of the running had been about? Would it make him any good if I got him headphones so he wanted to go out running?

I could see there weren't many left of a pair I found so I took. I'd have to ask Mike about this and then maybe think of something else for them if I shouldn't give them to Wheezy. They were nice headphones, they were grey and purple…

"I think I'll get these too." I grabbed them. "I'll save the receipt in case they don't work… And I think that's all I need from here. But can you help me carry some? I don't want any of these to break."

Johnny chuckled slightly and took one bag with the two lava lamps. I turned my steps towards the toy stores so while I only had a small piece of headphones, there was that big piece of robes that I'd get for Ella that I had already seen. Johnny smirked at the fact that he had the heaviest bag but I pretended not to hear while we continued.

"My old girlfriend, or Tee for that matter sometimes has me carrying bags for them. But the good thing with you is that you can at least ask."

I smirked and shook my head. That was the first time I was actually reminded that Johnny had too had a life in between when we had said goodbye, when he cheated on me after being fostered and me leaving Pottiswood. Until when I returned, and when I stood in a certain store's cashier line and about to pay and saw him.

"Let's go to that toy store." I said when we left the electronic one, "I already know what I'm going to get for Ella. If they still have those shelves with Frozen- things I mean, I'll literally show me right away where I can get hers. And of course. They must have some. I keep thinking that I can probably be find some other gifts there too. So I guess I could just do that today since they've probably ran out of things quite fast. And they probably have some kinds of wrapping paper too."

We entered the toy store and I right away find our way to the Frozen part. Then, just as I was about to reach for the robes I had planned to buy for Ella when something else caught my eye. Another lava lamp that was filled with purple glitter. And I couldn't help but reach for it.

Then, as I did I saw to other lava lamps. One blue with white glitter, and one black with golden glitter.

"How am I supposed to choose?"

Johnny chuckled, and I looked over and over over the three lava lamps. Then towards Johnny, and then towards the robes I had planned to buy for Ella before. Then I thought of the turtle lamps I had gotten for David and Jim, and the lava lamps for Tracie and Peityn that laid in the bag that Johnny was holding onto.

"Get all three?"

"No…" I said a bit too fast. "I can't afford that and gifts for everybody else…. "And I need to text Mike."

The first thing I could do, because I really wanted for Ella to have these robes. But at the same time really wanted to give these night lights. I also knew Mike was always quick with answering texts. I could send one, then go around this store for a bit until he answered.

Can you let me show you something else for Ella's Christmas gift? That I already planned on? I found something else, similar to some others I already found that I want to get.

I put my phone back in my pocket, then chose in between the three lava lamps again, before finally deciding I should take the first one I saw- the purple, put the other two back on the shelf and went to get at least a couple of kinds of wrapping paper. It had only been a couple of minutes since I texted Mike, still I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket.

Of course I can do that. I'm sure you've come up with something great.

It was with relief I read his message, then took the robes so he could get it for certain but pay me for it. Then he quickly sent another message that made me a bit nervous.

Nathan and Qwyn have decided on the idea of helping out for Philippa Murphy, who you were talking about. They're going there after school tomorrow, Monday. She lives on the same street as you so we were wondering if you wanted to go with them. Or would you rather I do it?

I thought about it for a second, after all coming with Marty to meet his mum yesterday. But Nathan and Qwyn were too and were adults in a way that Marty wasn't. They might not be able to trust adults still but Philippa Murphy hadn't done anything wrong.

You're right! I can go with them.

Random fact

I found three different lava lamps for Ella. And that one black- with golden stars I just can't find the picture of. Anyway, pictures of the gifts bought will be up on Instagram Linneagbfanfiction.