A/N (must read): before reading this chapter, go back to the summary and read the warnings right now as I am not wanting to upset anyone. Thank you.
She smiled as she walked down the halls. She couldn't stop herself. She felt like something was different today. She didn't know what was different, but she was excited to learn. Especially after the amazing suprise that the weekend before held.
She was a bit latter today than usual because she was getting that note book for Midoriya finished up, but it was with her noe. A full description of some of the latest hero's, plus some extra bits Surebu made sure to apply. He's been trying to get these notes down for way too long, but because of the dorms and extra trianing he found it hard to get the time to get it done. So Surebu decided to add her knowledge and skills into the mix. It took her and Shinsou far too long just to get the information they needed. She'd have to pay Shinsou back for all of this, but she really wanted to do something for the green haired boy. He'd been so kind ever since he saw her stand up to Shinsou's bullies. It made her happy. So what if she was a bit late? Aizawa wouldn't care anyway.
She walked up to the door of class 1-A when a voice was present. She just assumed it was the normal chatter of the class and walked right in, but everyone stopped what they were doing to watch her. Seeing their reactions she froze, notebook in hand. Even Bakugo had a look on his face that told her something wasn't right.
Midoriya was the first to walk up to her. His bright smile reassured her that everything was fine, but something was hidden in his eyes that told her otherwise. "Hey Surebu. You're late today?" He seemed to ask more than state with a slightly shaky voice.
"Yeah," Surebu stated a bit unsure of what was happening. Everyone was watching her, studying her movements. It was normal, but this time they held more fear than normal. She started to feel bad about that time she did the same thing to Aizawa. It was an unpleasant feeling to be watched like that.
"How long were you out there?" Momo asked backing away cautiously. That movement confused Surebu. She was very observant and a quick learner in any aspect. What happened while she was getting that damned notebook?
"Not long. Just got here really," Surebu told honestly. At her words the tension left the room as a collective sigh washed over half the occupants. Now Surebu was mad. They did something they knew would get her mad? She was frustrated, but as always, she hid it from everyone.
Midoriya began to walk away from her. She hadn't given him the notebook yet. She had to do it before class started or she could forget or may never get the chance again. Reacting purely on instinct, she grabbed his hand calling out his name. Big mistake. She only just realised what was different. It wasn't her morning routine, though it was messy this morning. She'd forgotten her gloves. The one thing she can never forget was forgotten. Midoriya's life flashed in Surebu's mind in the span of a second, but the last couple of minutes before she walked in seemed to go in slow motion. It was blurry, but she could recognise everything by memory.
Midoriya was at his desk talking with Uraraka and Iida when he heard Bakugo's voice. "She's stupid and annoying. Nothing else to it!"
"Come on man. There's gotta be one good thing about Surebu? Sure she can be annoying and weird at times, and she's kind of dangerous, like a ticking time bomb, but she seems nice enough," Kirishima tried to change Bakugo's opinion, but that's easier said than done. That was something Kirishima knew best.
"She SEEMS nice? Not like you've seen or experienced it," Bakugo stated without hesitation. "She refuses to get work done in class, she disappears when Aizawa-sensei needs her or is expecting to see her and for the classes she goes to, she sleeps or just stares out the window the whole time."
"You're right about that," Kirishima backed down accepting defeat like a man. Midoriya walked over feeling confident about his next action. After seeing what she's willing to do for Shinsou, these facts about her were obviously only half truths.
"You shouldn't talk about someone when they aren't there to defend themselves. She might have a good reason as to why she does these things," Midoriya was suddenly nervous. He wasn't looking to Bakugo out of fear of the glare he knew was aimed at him. Where did his confidence go?
"Like the one she had for pushing Aizawa-sensei into a table?" Bakugo smirked knowing he'd won. It was in his voice. He was amused by Midoriya's attempt. "Wait. She didn't have a reason, did she?" Bakugo growled out. No matter what, Midoriya couldn't argue with that. He couldn't remember a time she had an explanation for what she had done, except that time with those bullies, but that was different. Then a thought hit him. He knew he'd regret it, but what Bakugo was doing was wrong.
"She's here to become a hero, just like us. She might be different or do things differently, but that won't make her any less of a hero," he would've said more, but Bakugo cut in.
"She's a villain. It's obvious she doesn't belong here," Bakugo spoke calmly as if he had only just realised it himself. Kaminari decided at that moment to join the conversation.
"She does seem a bit out of place here," this started a row of comments to occur.
"She acts out quite a bit," Iida.
"She doesn't try to get along with anyone," Mina.
"And when someone tries to talk to her outside of school she gets distant and leaves," Uraraka.
"She isn't allowed to leave the dorms without a teacher," Sero.
"Even with that rule she leaves without permission anyway," Ojiro.
"She doesn't do any work," Momo.
"She doesn't listen to the teachers," Jirou.
"She is a bit of a hand full," Midoriya had to admit.
"She's a distraction," Bakugo stated breaking the chain of comments. "She should save us all the trouble and jump off the roof," this caused Kirishima to jump up.
"That's a little harsh Bakugo," he told in a calm manner.
"As long as I don't have to see her in this classroom again, I don't care what happens to her," Bakugo told blankly. It looked like Mina was going to say something, but the door opened and Surebu stood there, looking confused and worried.
Surebu let go of Midoriya's hand realising that she was in the wrong place. They were all right. She wasn't supposed to be here. All anyone saw her as was a villain. That was all she could ever be. She even thought that maybe she was doing something right here. Something. Anything. But no.
"Surebu?" She looked up at the sound of her name to see Midoriya with a face of worry. "Are you crying?" He asked. Surebu lifted her hand to her cheek only to be met with a warm, but wet surface. Was she crying? She couldn't remember a time she cried without screaming at the top of her lungs. "Are you okay?" She tried to speak, but her voice wasn't working. She wanted to scream, cry, yell until her voice cut out, but she couldn't. She couldn't even move. Suddenly an image flashed in her mind. It was a body on the ground soaked in blood. Than the last words that man ever spoke echoed in her brain.
'No matter what you do to change yourself, you'll always be a villain after this,' those words hunted her. They would never leave her mind.
She stood there at the door, shaking. Was she scared? Angry? Sad? She couldn't tell. Maybe all three. Was that possible? She'd never had that before. Just shows how stupid she was. That's right. She was STUPID! That stuck in her brain. She had asked for help to write in a damned notebook for the love of God! She felt so damned STUPID!
Stupid for doing that. Stupid for trusting these people. Stupid for ever thinking she could be anything more than what society saw her as. A VILLAIN! That was where she belongs. That's what she deserves. Not these complementary lies these so called 'classmates' would dish out. Aizawa was wrong. No one ever had a choice in this world. You are what people see you as.
A hand on her shoulder shocked her out of her thoughts. Out of fear she screamed, jumping away from whoever it was that touched her, but by doing so she had fallen into one of the tables and hurt her left arm. Getting over the pain quickly she looked up to see Aizawa looking at her with worry written all over his face. Think of the devil, she thought.
"Surebu? What's wrong?" He asked sounding almost like a concerned parent. Surebu looked around her. Everyone was backing away from her, scared of what she would do next. "Surebu?" Aizawa repeated holding out a hand, but she backed away remembering what had happened with Midoriya only a moment ago. She didn't want to feel any more pain from other memories. She didn't think she could handle it. "Surebu?" Aizawa said one last time.
"Don't touch me," she mumbled. Her voice croaked instead of spoke, but it was something. For some reason Bakugo took her words as a challenge and flicked her forehead. Suddenly hundreds of horrible words Bakugo had aimed at her when she wasn't around had flooded her mind.
"Bakugo!" Aizawa screamed at the angry teen. "See me after class."
Those words were like a trigger. The switch that's always been in her brain had switched over again, but this was not someone she was familiar with. It was always either the obedient child or the crazy girl with a taste for blood. This one was emotionless. She sat up with a tear stained face. Slowly she stood up. Every bit of the pain she had felt was gone and was replaced with a heavy hollow feeling. She didn't like that feeling, but she'd rather it over the emotional pain.
Slowly she walked down to the back of the room and sat down at her desk without a single word and placed the notebook down. Aizawa tried to talk to her, to get her to talk back, but it was almost like she couldn't even hear him. The only thing she heard was the echoing words of her 'classmates' from Midoriya and Bakugo's memories. That damn quirk!
After a few hours she began to come back to reality. Everything she could feel came washing over her. She couldn't stop herself. She began to cry. Began to scream. She lost all control over her actions and her mind. Everything that just happened was running wild in her head, over and over. She'd been through so much in her life, but none of the physical torture came close to the mental torture and emotional pain she felt right now. This was a new feeling completely, and she didn't know what to do at all.
Give me the physical pain again. Please. She continued to internally beg whatever God would listen.
Her mind was clouded and everything began to blur. She couldn't think properly. All she knew was she was all alone in this dark, cruel world. Then something happened. It wasn't much, but a light came into view in the darkness as a hand touched her head, causing her to look for the owner. There, in front of her, was Aizawa. The one who brought her here and have her hope for a good life. Without even thinking about her actions, she jumped out of her chair and hugged him. She couldn't remember a time she felt that she needed this kind of comfort, but it helped get rid of the clouds in her mind so she could see clearly again. She had only just realised that Aizawa was hugging her back. She felt safe.
"Talk to me Surebu," he whispered stroking her hair. The lesson had finished some time ago, but Surebu hadn't moved, so Aizawa stayed in the room, waiting for when she was ready. He didn't think this would happen. He didn't know what to do when he heard her screaming. He was only trying to get her to calm down, but when she had looked to him like that, he could see all the pain and could see the betrayal she had felt. Once she had jumped up to hug him he suddenly realised that she had been slowly breaking, and that any wrong move will cause her to shatter. He held her close to him in hopes that maybe he could hold all the pieces together. That maybe if he kept a hold of her, she wouldn't break.
"Why am I so horrible?" She hiccupped. At those words Aizawa felt fear. He didn't know what had happened in the time between waking up to getting to class to make her think that, but he had to get rid of this thought immediately.
"You're not horrible Surebu. What on earth made you think something so wrong?" He had to know where this thought came from. If he didn't then he might as well just leave.
"They're right about me," she whispered. Aizawa was confused at her words and continued to question.
"Who?"
"The class," something hit Aizawa at that moment. It was guilt. He kept a close eye on her and her interactions with those outside of his class, not the ones inside class 1-A, even though those were the ones with her the most. "I'm nothing more than a misplaced villain," once again, the guilt grew.
"You're not a villain Surebu. You are what you want to be," he told her. She continued to cry and Aizawa decided it was best to get her to her room. Carefully he picked her up and made his way to her room. By the time he had opened the door she appeared to be asleep, so Aizawa laid her down on the bed and left. He had another busy night of work to deal with before he could deal with his class. Making an in the moment devotion he went to work, and was planning to talk to the whole class all at once the second they were all in the classroom the next morning, and he wasn't going to be late this time. He wouldn't let anything else happen to her. Not when he could stop it.
The second the door closed Surebu sat up. She was alone again, and all the light that was there was now gone. She could think clearly now. She knew exactly what she needed to do. Silently she opened the door to her room, Aizawa didn't lock the door today. Just as quietly, she walked up every set of stairs. Even when her legs began to burn she kept walking. She was close to the top when Bakugo's voice echoed in her brain.
'As long as I don't have to see her in this classroom again, I don't care!"
She began to sprint up the stairs taking them two at a time. She needed to get away from these walls. She felt trapped. Finally she burst through the door to the roof to see the sun hitting the edge of the horizon. The sky was turning all shades of colours, but none were as dark as the demon that was sneeking up in her mind, telling her she was as useless as could be.
Slowly she walked up to the edge of the roof. She looked down to the ground. It was a fair distance away. Definitely would kill anyone who fell... Or jumped. Suddenly a raindrop came into view, falling right past her and down to the bottom of the building. She looked up at the darkening sky, but no clouds were anywhere to be seen. She touched her right cheek, and there it was. Not rain, but a tear. She was crying? Maybe because she didn't think that this was how it was going to be. Maybe because she knew that this was the way it had to be. Either way, she knew this was how it was.
"Sorry Papa," she whispered looking forward to the horizon. "Sorry brother," the sun was almost gone now, and the sky had grown considerably darker. She felt a connection to the sunset. Slowly going darker and darker until no light remained, and only one option was left behind.
'She should save us all the trouble and just jump off the roof.' Bakugo may not have been the best hero, but he was a better hero than her. With those words bouncing in her head, Surebu took a deep breath and leaned forwards, not enough to instantly plummet, but enough to know there was no turning back.
The wind whistled in her ear as the ground grew closer and closer. She had angled herself so that she was head first. Despite her situation, she smiled. She felt relief wash over her. She'd never hurt anyone again. Just as she was about to greet the hard floor, Surebu closed her eyes. She was ready. This was her fate, and she accepted it. She was welcoming it with open arms.
"Goodbye," she whispered an inch away from the ground. Two words that would be forever lost in the darkness of the night.
A/N: yes I know what I've done, but I also know what is going to happen. I am writing chapter 36 right now so no, this is nowhere near the end.