Haruko Haruhara (FLCL)
Background:
Haruko Haruhara is a dangerous alien who rides a Vespa. She is an officer for the Galactic Space Police Brotherhood who works as a maid for the Nandaba household. She activates Naota Nandaba's N.O. channel and attempts to use him to free Atomsk from Medical Mechanica so she can absorb his power.
Powers and Abilities:
Superhuman Physical Characteristics,
Breaking the Fourth Wall,
Weapon Mastery (Guitars),
Portal Creation (Can open N.O. channel through people's heads that allow the transportation of objects and the creation of guitars),
Toon Force,
Limited Time-Space Manipulation via Light Manipulation with her guitar (Her guitar is a time-space interfering weapon that emits a powerful light to destroy her foes),
Intangibility (Can insert her hand into another person's body and take out things picked up inside of said bodies, while all her movements inside will be felt by the person in question),
True Flight with Vespa,
Weaknesses: Haruko is an insane woman who lacks common sense and almost always takes reckless actions without thinking, N.O. channels require people with strong brainwaves to open
Nonon Jakuzure (Kill la Kill)
Backgroud:
Nonon Jakuzure is one of the Student Council's Elite Four. Among her school's student council, Nonon has known their president Satsuki the longest and claims to have a special relationship with her as a result. As the leader of the academy's marching band, Nonon is granted with various music-themed superpowers.
Powers and Abilities:
Superhuman Physical Characteristics,
Flight,
Sound Manipulation,
Danmaku,
Forcefield Creation,
Resistance to:
Heat Manipulation (Able to endure close combat and physical contact with Ryuko, whose body gives off enough heat to blood the blood in her body, to melt stone, and instantly give severe burns to normal people on contact)
Weaknesses: If someone cuts the Banshi thread of the Symphony Regalia, her uniform becomes vulnerable. Nonon is quite overconfident and tends to lose temper when the battle does not go her way.
Song: The Plot Unravels!
Honnōji Academy, a prestigious institution that educated students not only academically but equipped them with skills to survive while garbed in Goku uniforms under the rigid and authoritarian rule of Satsuki Kiryūin and her disciplinarian Elite Four.
Ira Gamagōri, Uzu Sanageyama, Nonon Jakuzure and Hōka Inumuta - the formidable and diligent Elite Four, working around the clock as committee members responsible for ensuring the school's seamless operation. At present, they were casually patrolling the courtyard, their keen eyes diligently searching for any potential violations of regulations or acts of mischief.
The group of Elite Four members, currently on patrol in the courtyard, suddenly turned their attention towards a crashing sound. To their surprise, they witnessed a woman in a bright red dress and a yellow 1965 Super Sport 180 Vespa smashing through the school's main door, her grin wide and her voice ringing out with cheerful excitement. She yelled,
"Awright! LUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNCCCCCCHHHHHH TTTTTIIIIIIIMMMMMMEEEEE!!!!!"
Typically, the Elite Four members were quick to respond and tackle any situation with competence. However, the dynamic entrance by Haruko Haruhara caught them wildly off guard, with one of them, Nonon Jakuzure, caught in the unexpected chaos. She was knocked off her feet and sent flying, comically defying gravity in the air until she slammed onto the ground with a thud, her cries echoing through the courtyard.
As her friends cried out, expressing their concern and panic, Nonon sat up, somewhat dazed. With her eyes swirling and stars circling and around her head, she groaned, murmuring the question,
"Did anyone get the number of that bike?"
It was clear that being rammed into by a moped moving at 400 kmph had taken its toll on her body. The roaring engine of a vehicle captured Nonon's attention, and as she turned towards it, she was viciously struck on her forehead by Haruko's blue Rickenbacker 4001 guitar. The impact sent her flying through the air in a remarkable display of flips and twists, ultimately crashing through the fortified and thick metal perimeter of the school. An explosion ensued, the result of the sheer force of her impact against the solid metal structure.
Haruko leaning onto her guitar, nonchalantly supporting her weight on it with a wide grin, spoke her thoughts aloud.
"Hmmm, I wonder what might come out of that native girl's head?"
With a playful gesture, she casually picked her left ear with her pinkie finger, seemingly unbothered by the situation at hand despite Nonon's violent crash through the fortified metal perimeter of the academy.
The three remaining Elite Four members, Ira Gamagōri, Uzu Sanageyama and Hōka Inumuta, were filled with a seething rage, their combined forces just about to be unleashed upon the invasive culprit who had dared to attack one of their own. However, before they could move, Nonon's voice called out, demanding,
"Wait! Hold it, boys! This lady's mine. I got this."
The three remaining Elite Four members turned their attention to Nonon, who, despite being run over, hit in the head with a guitar, and subsequently exploded, was seemingly alright aside from a blackened uniform and bleeding forehead. Despite being royally pissed off, she cracked a smile.
"This wench is going to be enthusiastically pummeled, jauntily, and with complete and utter domination! Entrance march, on the double eagle!"
She declared, her spirits high despite the situation. The marching band, playing their instruments enthusiastically, rallied behind Nonon, the Elite Four member. Musical instruments from the school were magically summoned, morphing into a titanic, heart-shaped LRAD equipped with massive woofers. Nonon emerged in the middle cavity, donning a distinctive conductor's outfit with a skeletal theme. Armed with this newfound power, she declared her transformation, her voice booming out,
"Three Star Goku Uniform: Symphony Regalia Grave!"
The battle began with Haruko reacting calmly, nonchalantly resting her guitar upon her shoulders and appearing ready to engage. She casually commanded in a cool tone,
"The Pillows, play us off."
Snapping her fingers, a Japanese rock-alternative soundtrack associated with her past exploits began playing in the background, adding an element of nostalgia and badassity to the impending clash. With a determined gesture, Nonon announced,
"Time for the Late Calvary Overture!"
Her baton waving, the heart-shaped tank started to blare a powerful horn tune. This noise was so intense that it made complex thought difficult, yet it seemed to suit Haruko's style of attack - she jumped and shouted while preparing to obliterate the tank. However, the volume of the woofers unexpectedly amplified to an astronomical level, producing a volume shockwave that sent Haruko flying back, crashing into the ground with significant force.
Haruko groaned in nauseam, unable to handle the intense volume that rattled her bones. Nonon, anticipating this reaction, couldn't help but flash a mischievous smile.
"Let's sharpen up the tune!"
Without hesitation, she waved her baton, and a barrage of sharp, classical musical notes flew towards Haruko, each one carrying the razor-sharp edge of a blade. However, just as the attack reached her, Haruko swiftly spun her guitar around like a fan, effortlessly batting away each of the sharp notes of Nonon's classical music assault.
With a confident smirk, Haruko declared,
"Your classic music may be an oldie but goodie, but alt-rock certainly hits the spot for me!"
She quickly picked away at her Rickenbacker 4001 with lightning swiftness, churning out a rapid-fire performance that defied all musical norms. The notes from Haruko's instrument ripped through the air, shredding apart the incoming notes from Nonon's classical music with its sheer force and intensity.
Unfazed by Haruko's assertion, Nonon responded with a self-assured smile,
"Hmph, I have a full orchestra at my command, versus your solitary instrument. How about I perform the finale of 'William Tell Overture' for you next?"
As the tank began to play the famous classical composition, the volume increased, causing Haruko to writhe and contort to avoid being torn apart by the razor-sharp notes.
Sensing an opportunity, Nonon waved her baton, and her tank launched a colossal missile shaped like a flutophone, a musical instrument that Haruko seemed particularly unsettled by. With a swift motion, she shed her clothes, revealing a baseball uniform beneath. With her Rickenbacker 4001 held like a bat, she shouted the rallying cry of "Hey batter, batter, batter, hey batter, swing!" She swung with all her might, connecting with the missile-flutophone and launching it into the sky, out of sight.
The explosion painted the sky like a magnificent fireworks show, and Haruko couldn't contain her delight, cheering with triumph and raising her fist in the air as if she had scored a home run.
"And it's going, going, gone! Out of the park! Home run for Haruko Haruhara!"
She then started dancing to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," rubbing salt in Nonon's wounds by celebrating her victory in batting away the missile.
The scene freezes and zooms out, revealing Haruko dressed as a sports announcer, flaunting a mischievous grin at the audience. She boasts with a cocky tone while picking her nose,
"That's right ladies and germs, Haruko Haruhara is on track to join the legendary ranks of Babe Ruth and Ichiro Suzuki in NBA history. Let's give a moment for the slow-mo playback of that magnificent hit."
The clip rewinds and replays, exaggerating Haruko's victory with every new angle. Her perfect swing becomes more perfectly showcased with each play of the slow-mo. However, the slow-mo is suddenly shattered by a surge in volume from Nonon's tank, as she expresses her displeasure.
"Cease this foolish behavior! I desire to hear your screams, not your mockery! Die, die, die!"
In a flurry of action, Nonon's flying tank discharged a barrage of twenty flutophone missiles in a blitzkrieg-style bombing. Haruko let out a comically exaggerated cry of fear before throwing her guitar over the incoming missiles, and attempting to evade the onslaught. As the missiles detonated behind her, she leaped and utilized the explosions as stepping stones, launching herself skyward. With a swift kick, she sprang off their shockwaves and swiftly darted past Nonon's defensive woofers, catching the returned guitar in mid-air. Haruko's arrogant tone rang out, declaring,
"You do not deserve my cries! I will mock you as I please!"
She let out a cackle, slamming her guitar into the giant tank and making Nonon yell as she attempted to restore balance. Feeling enraged, Nonon waved her baton and launched a plethora of cymbal-shaped, spinning saw blades, aiming to slice and dice Haruko to pieces.
Haruko frantically tried to evade the rapidly approaching saw blades, but with no ground to escape upon, she blew into her fingers, summoning her Vespa, and swiftly mounted it to safety. This act of disobedience enraged Nonon even further, as she considered the sky her personal domain, allowing only her superior and closest friend, Satsuki, the privilege of air-borne combat.
As the volume of her tank reached its peak, Nonon uttered her declaration,
"The sky is mine, god dammit. So now the gloves are coming off... YOU STINKING BITCH!!! Symphony Regalia: Musical Barrage!"
With that, a mind-numbingly loud outburst emitted from her tank, as it simultaneously fired an overwhelming array of notes, flutophone missiles, cymbal-saw discs, explosive sheet music lines, and pink energy blasts, filling the air with an unprecedented barrage of chaos.
Haruko miraculously weaved through the tumultuous barrage, narrowly avoiding the onslaught using her small stature and lightning speed. She derided her opponent's music as a cacophony of noise and warned,
"You call this music?! It's just a loud racket with how much you're overplaying it! It's time to shut you down!"
With that, Haruko leapt off her Vespa and, with perfect timing and precision, smashed the same spot on the tank she hit previously with her guitar, causing a colossal explosion of various band instruments as it was destroyed. In a moment of shock and despair, Nonon cried out,
"No, how could she get the drop on me?!"
Haruko, in a swift movement, smashed her guitar into Nonon's face, sending her flying high and crying in the process. As Nonon soared, Haruko smirked and rested her prized Rickenbacker 4001 upon her shoulders after delivering the devastating blow. Haruko struck a pose, imitating Elvis in a lighthearted manner, expressing her cockiness,
"Thank you, thank you very much."
She felt a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, believing that the battle was in her favor. Haruko, somewhat bewildered, observed the cheers from Nonon's marching band, with voices chanting in unison as they urged for an encore. A beam of pink light illuminated the field, revealing a towering stage where Nonon appeared wearing a pink drum major uniform with a majestic horned hat. As Nonon beamed proudly, showcasing her impressive attire, she declared,
"Symphony Regalia De Capo. For my encore, let's present audiences with a world-renowned masterpiece - Beethoven's Symphony No. 5: Fate!"
In that moment, a cannon materialized from her hat, blasting out the music of Beethoven's iconic symphony at an eardrum-shattering volume, an overwhelming 140 decibels. Haruko's body uncontrollably shook as the overpowering symphony reverberated through her body, her ears spurting blood from the overwhelming volume. Desperately seeking protection, she tossed her precious Rickenbacker 4001 above Nonon's head and attempted to shield her ears with it, though to no avail. Overwhelmed by the intense ringing in her ears, she was forcefully blown backwards, crashing into the metallic boundary of the academy with considerable force and impact. Nonon declared her intentions to conclude the encore, confidently declaring,
"Your fate ends here!"
Haruko, despite being completely overwhelmed, managed to grin and snapped her fingers, summoning her precious Rickenbacker 4001 back into her hands. With perfect timing, she knocked off Nonon's hat, exposing her to her own music, causing her to cry out in agony. The intense volume of her own music caused her ears to bleed, rendering her deaf in the same manner as Haruko.
Shifting the medium from Japanese animation to black and white manga, Haruko sighed with annoyance. Through stylized speech bubbles, she sarcastically remarked,
"Perfect. Are you satisfied now? You blasted our eardrums like you exhausted the sound and music budget. Now we're left with nothing but dialogue and visuals."
Nonon glanced around at the changed manga surroundings, her head flitting back and forth like she had two faces. With bewildered surprise, she asked,
"How are you capable of doing this?"
Haruko nonchalantly waved her hand, dismissing the question with a hint of mischief.
"Don't sweat it, it adds to the fun. Ever heard of fooly cooly?"
Curious, Nonon responded,
"Fooly cooly?"
"Yeah, fooly cooly. It's where you do this with your hands."
Haruko then mimicked a rather risqué gesture with her hands, one that was clearly too inappropriate to be portrayed in full detail. Nonon, despite the censored gesture, felt infuriated. She pointed at Haruko, her voice filled with indignation,
"How dare you make such a risqué gesture toward a high school girl! I'm a lady of high standards!"
She then declared, her tone fervent and furious,
"Even without music or sound, I'll still defeat you to the point of no return!"
Nonon swiftly transformed her attire, exchanging her old Goku uniform for a revamped model. The new outfit resembled a flight suit with an elaborate flight pack, featuring an emblem that resembled a skull and wings reminiscent of her old uniform. Her arms and legs were encased in white armor-like ocarinas, while additional thrusters, resembling church organ pipes and recorders, adorned the wings and fuselage of the suit. The transformation was almost instant, leaving no time to react.
"Three Star Goku Uniform: Symphony Regalia Mk.II!"
Nonon flew with the speed of a rocket. She rapidly discharged explosive sheet music lines at Haruko. Nevertheless, using her Rickenbacker 4001 in a novel way, she held the guitar so that the attacks hit the strings, extending far beyond their normal range. As the beam strikes hit the strings from the side, Haruko smiled as she effortlessly bounced them back, utilizing her guitar like a makeshift slingshot.
Nonon yelped as she dodged the attack, only for Haruko to leap onto her rocket-propelled uniform. With a triumphant grin, Haruko taunted,
"This is the best you can do? My Vespa moves faster than you!"
"Hey, get off me!"
Nonon's voice carried a tone of irritation as she forcefully spun through the air, attempting to rid herself of the unwelcome passenger clinging to her back. Haruko, however, became visibly nauseous and grabbed an airline vomit bag, emptying the contents of her stomach into it. In a moment of creative inspiration, she smeared the vomit bag's contents over Nonon's face, intending to gross her out and break her concentration.
"Eww, Ack! It's in my eyes and mouth!"
Nonon shrieked in utter disgust. Haruko, with an air of theatricality, executed a bow and then leisurely let herself fall off, starting up her Rickenbacker 4001 to start riding it like a mid-air surfboard. She nonchalantly observed as Nonon flew into one of the thick perimeter walls, a loud metallic thud echoing throughout the area.
"Ha, I'm completely and utterly a bitch."
Haruko let out a chuckle, fully conscious of her unrepentant and slobbish nature. She nonchalantly picked her other nostril with her finger.
With a brilliant flash, Nonon underwent a dramatic transformation. Her final outfit was skimpier, barely covering her body. It consisted of black thigh highs, pink high heels, shoulder pieces that covered her breasts, a small black patch covering her groin, and three bone-like decorations on her bare midriff. Her conductor's hat, now resembling a tall skull with piano key-like teeth, topped the ensemble. The back of her uniform featured a newer, sleeker version of her previous flight pack, now in a black and gold color scheme with smaller engines.
"Symphony Regalia: Finale!"
Seeing the impractical nature of Nonon's attire, Haruko couldn't contain her laughter. She pointed her finger and mockingly commented,
"What the hell? What kind of outfit is that? It looks silly! But I guess I'm not above a bit of gratuitous fan service either!"
To emphasize her point, Haruko ripped off her clothes, revealing a red Playboy bunny outfit with red ears and silver stockings, completely discarding any sense of modesty.
With a flurry of shots, Nonon launched an array of pink hearts, attempting to overwhelm Haruko. However, her prey swiftly demonstrated exceptional agility and evasiveness, contorting her body like a cartoon noodle to cleverly dodge each flying projectile.
Haruko's body transformed into a being of pure energy, preparing to deliver a decisive blow. With her revved Rickenbacker 4001, she struck Nonon in the head with all her might, the force of the impact clearing the sky of clouds far beyond the horizon. However, her eyes grew wide with shock and surprise when she saw that her attack, while leaving a mark, had not been enough to completely finish off Nonon, who only smirked smugly in response.
"You're at your end point now! Witness your final act! Symphony Regalia: Musical Barrage!"
Nonon unleashed a seemingly unimaginably intense and indescribable attack that was so loud, it could be heard despite the blown budgeting for audio, shredding the manga medium back to Japanese animation. Anyone within the Kanto region of Japan could sense a deep and overpowering rumble, as if someone had activated the infamous THX Deep Note. A moment later, an enormous explosion occurred, creating a blast that was visible on the horizon, leaving everyone who experienced it overwhelmed and awestruck.
At the site of the battleground, within Honnōji Academy, Nonon stood victorious, her presence looming over the vanquished Haroko, who was now blackened with ash, with all her limbs blown off, and her eyes blown out. Her loyal Rickenbacker 4001 was reduced to mere remnants of wood, strings, and broken pieces. With a raspy, croaky voice, Haruko voiced her disbelief:
"What... the hell?"
Nonon, with a pleased smile, triumphantly declared,
"That's what you get for challenging me."
She puffed herself up, posing proudly in a manner that exuded triumph and confidence. Haruko weakly pleaded with a weakening voice,
"Please, come closer."
Despite her weakened state, she managed to let out these words, hoping that Nonon would heed her request.
"Last words? I guess I should grant it after this tough battle,"
Nonon smugly declared as she came closer to the weakened body. However, just when she approached close enough, a boxing glove on a spring launched from Haruko's groin, striking her with unexpected force and making her cry out in pain.
"Ow! My face!"
She wailed, a tooth falling loose in the process, leaving her stunned by the unexpected surprise attack.
"Ha, got you."
Haruko, with her final breath, let out a triumphant chuckle, finding amusement and satisfaction in the unexpected outcome. Nonon, now seething with anger and frustration, kicked the lifeless corpse in response. She felt that her hard-earned victory was now tainted by the humiliation of her opponent's final chuckle.
The scene abruptly zooms out, revealing that Haruko was, in fact, alive and well, and had been watching the whole battle from an outside perspective, almost as if they were watching a thrilling YouTube video. She comically overreacted with shock and horror, declaring,
"I'm dead! I'm completely and totally dead! And to think I was defeated by a scantily clad band conductor! Bang!"
Haruko then turned towards the audience paying attention to her, a grin spreading across her face, as she declared,
"How's that for a Death Battle? Wiz and Boomstick had 187 chances to animate this fight, but it took a random fanfiction writer to give the audience what they wanted, those lazy asses! I don't care if your kickstarter saved you, you're over a decade too late! If he could animate fights too, or somehow outsource to third party artists without risking copyright, this would be even more awesome! So suck it!"
She finishes off with the bird.
Strength: Both these girls are much stronger than one would assume their demeanors. In episode 4 of the first OVA series, Haruko knocked a giant bomb out of orbit with her guitar like a baseball. Such a feat would have to require 12.7 GT of TNT of physical strength. However, Nonon at the end of the series scales to those who can destroy the S.S Naked Sun ship. Based on the ship's durability, it would require attack power of 1.78 Petatons. That makes Nonon 140,157X stronger than Haruko. Even if we downplayed her attack output to be a quarter of the collective Elite Four to equal the 1.78 Petatons, that still makes her over 35,000X stronger.
Speed: However, even though she has the durability to withstand Haruko's attack, she'd have difficulty landing any attacks that aren't point blank. While Nonon scales to Ryuko Matoi, who could sliced over 200 tennis balls 5 times each. While this feat would require reactions between .009% to .01% lightspeed, depending if you use Death Battle's or Vs Battle Wiki's numbers, Haruko's Vespa can go exponentially faster. Her Vespa can travel at interstellar speeds on a tank of gas, assuming it needs refueling which it likely does. Assuming that it takes Haruko takes 16 hours to reach Proxima Centauri 4.2 lightyears away before she runs out of gas, she'd have to be traveling 2,250X light speed. This makes her 225,000X faster than Nonon.
Skill: Something that helps Nonon is that while they're both ax-crazy, Haruko is legitimately crazy, and follows more on a whim than any actual planning. Nonon has a more solid mind for strategizing, and could figure out a way to land a killing blow.
Experience: Determining experience is tough to determine, as we can't determine how old Haruko is, or how wide of a variety each of their foes are aside from what we've seen on screen. This is inconslusive.
Powers: Nonone has the more variable arsenal, and while Haruko's toon force makes her hard to defeat due to how unorthedox she fights, it's not enough to overwhelm people as strong or stronger than herself, such as Atomsk whom she couldn't even land a hit on despite never moving out of the way, or a big enough robot gunslinger in episode 5 that eventually overwhelmed her.
The winner is Nonon Jakuzure
Next time:
"I will live on, bringing as many smiles as possible. I will fight on with the vow to never kill again. I will devote my sword and heart to the life of battles until the day I can no longer carry this sword!"
"Sake sure is nice. You can forget your troubles if only for a moment. You'll have to remember them tomorrow though, and they'll be even more painful than they were the night before. You can't run away from things like this. Especially from things you really want to forget."