Alex could count on one hand the number of times that she felt fear in her bones - fear that ripped through her body and momentarily numbed her from head to toe.
…the morning when her mom took her last breath.
…the night when her dad first beat her with no end in sight.
…the afternoon when she'd heard someone at her dad's apartment when she went back to get her things.
…and today.
Alexandra Halstead, you're under arrest.
While she was trying to process the words that had come out of her brother's mouth, she felt him grip her upper arm and start dragging her back toward the street. She stumbled along step after step, unable to think and walk at the same time.
What the hell was going on?!
She pulled her hands apart, as if trying to convince herself that none of this was real. When the cool metal stopped her wrists from moving behind her back, the pit in her stomach grew. The world went quiet around her, and all Alex could hear was her accelerated pulse vibrating in her ear, her mind in a frightened state of shock, incapable of fighting back.
Jay remained silent, his jaw set in fury as he yanked her across the street in search of his truck parked two blocks over. He was blinded by his anger, unable to consider the impact of what he was doing.
"J…J…Jay…." It was the only word Alex could muster at this point. There was clear fear behind it, but his only response was an even tighter grip on her and a quickened pace that she stumbled to keep up with.
A minute later, they reached Jay's truck, and for a split second, Alex felt a flicker of relief. It wasn't the cold, impersonal backseat of a patrol car - it was his truck. Familiar. Almost safe. A part of her dared to think this was just a scare tactic, something to shake her up but not take it too far. But the tight knot of dread twisting in her stomach wouldn't let up.
Then everything shifted.
Jay yanked the back door open with a sharp, forceful motion, and suddenly, the truck didn't feel so familiar anymore. She'd never sat in the back. Not once. And she knew all too well that the door couldn't be opened from the inside in his truck.
"Get in," Jay growled, his voice laced with fury. The words hit like a punch, and any trace of relief evaporated on the spot.
"No," Alex said with more fear than defiance.
However, Jay was too caught up in his own overwhelming emotions to register that. The detective had no patience and with full force started shoving her into the truck.
"No, stop!" Alex yelled in protest.
Just then, Erin came tearing around the corner, her breath catching in her throat as she watched Jay force a handcuffed and thrashing Alex into the truck. The girl's wild screams cut through the air, sharp and desperate.
"Jay!" Erin shouted, sprinting to close the distance between them.
By the time she reached him, Jay had managed to shove Alex into the backseat and slam the door shut. But Alex wasn't done. She had no words, just raw, unchecked panic, and she was going to fight - fight like hell.
She threw herself flat on her back and kicked the door with both feet, hard, over and over, her tennis shoes slamming into the metal with a force that rattled the entire truck. She didn't know what she was trying to accomplish - where was she going to go handcuffed like this? - but the need to escape overpowered any logic.
Jay whirled around, his hand ready to pound on the window with a slew of threatening curse words. But before he could, Erin grabbed his arm, yanking him back.
"Jay, what the hell is going on?!" Erin demanded, her eyes darting between him and the chaos erupting in the truck.
Jay spun around, his face flushed with fury, breathing hard like he'd just run a marathon. "She… she was buying drugs," he managed to explain through clenched teeth, holding up the small bag of pills like it was poison in his hand. The disbelief in his voice matched the wild storm in his eyes. His whole body seemed to be vibrating with a mix of rage and fear, emotions Erin hadn't seen collide in him like this before.
Erin's gaze snapped around the street, scanning for any curious onlookers. She didn't need this situation escalating even more than it already was. In one swift motion, she snatched the bag from Jay's hand, shoving it into her own pocket. He wasn't thinking straight, and leaving him holding evidence out in the open was a disaster waiting to happen.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
The relentless thudding of Alex's feet against the truck door rattled the air around them, each hit louder and more erratic, threatening to draw unwanted attention. Erin's instincts screamed at her - this was spiraling fast. She was thankful that the rest of the team was wrapping up the arrests and taking people back to the station. Nobody needed to see Jay, or Alex, like this right now.
"Jay, take a walk," Erin said, her tone sharp, cutting through the noise.
Jay blinked at her, still fuming, but she could see the cracks in his composure. He was unraveling, and Erin knew if he stayed here much longer, he'd lose control. His eyes narrowed. "I'm not–"
"Yes, you are," she spat forcefully with a gaze that let him know she wasn't fucking around. She pointed to their right. "GO!" She knew her partner better than anyone, and if Jay didn't at least bring his anger down a notch, this whole situation was going to go up in flames.
He hesitated for a second, jaw clenched so tightly it looked like it might shatter, then with a frustrated grunt, he stormed off down the street.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
With a deep breath, Erin turned to the car and abruptly opened the driver's door.
"Hey!" Erin said loudly. When Alex continued her kicking crusade, Erin said more forcefully, trying to wrestle back control of the situation, "HEY! Knock it off!"
The sudden shift - an unfamiliar voice instead of Jay's - made Alex freeze mid-kick. She slumped back against the seat, then pushed herself upright into a sitting position, her eyes darting to the side. She was surprised to see Erin there and quickly scanned the street, finding Jay's retreating figure. She immediately seized this opportunity to gain an ally. "Jay's lost it. He's fucking lost it... he put these handcuffs on me and threw me in this truck like a damn criminal," she rambled, attempting to show her handcuffed wrists as if they were proof of some injustice.
"You trying to kick out the door isn't helping," Erin explained a bit more harshly than she intended.
Alex's eyes immediately narrowed at seeing this asshole wasn't on her side, and her guarded walls instantly were back up. "Yeah, well this feels a lot like a kidnapping."
Erin had to stop herself from rolling her eyes - she had more important things to worry about. "I'll be back. Just sit. Quietly."
Without waiting for a reply, she shut the door, to which Alex yelled after her, "Not like I can fucking go anywhere!"
Erin let Alex's parting shot slide off her as she jogged down the street, her eyes locked on Jay, who was already over half a block away. When she caught up, she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he jerked like he was ready to fight.
"Whoa, Jay. It's me," Erin said softly, her voice calm despite the nerves building inside her. Seeing him this keyed up was unsettling.
They walked in silence for a moment, tension thick in the air, until Jay finally stopped and turned to face her. His eyes were clouded with frustration, disbelief, and something deeper. "She was buying drugs, Erin. Drugs. We can't just let that slide because she's family."
The weight of the situation hit him hard, and he sounded as if he was trying to convince himself as much as her. Erin immediately picked up on his use of "we." That was a good sign - he was still willing to listen as if they were in this together.
"I know," Erin said softly, nodding. She knew Jay needed to get it off his chest, so she stayed silent, letting him continue.
"And then she took off running, so I had to chase her down. I fucking tackled her in an alley over there. And she acts like this is all no big deal." Jay motioned toward the car. "She bought drugs." He still couldn't believe the words he was saying. "But why here? Why today? How did I not see this coming?"
His eyes implored Erin for answers, something they both knew she didn't have, but that didn't stop the questions from plaguing Jay.
"I'm sure we'll find out those answers, but Jay. We need to focus on the here and now, okay?" She gave his hand a tight squeeze, reminding him that she was here to help.
Jay nodded, now fully aware that he was spiraling. He took a deep breath, trying to reign it back in to get through the task at hand.
"Have you called it in?" Erin pried. She needed to know how far down the arresting road they were. As long as he hadn't called it in, there was time to walk this back.
Jay shook his head as he tried to catch his breath. "My radio's in the truck."
"Okay, great." Erin knew this wasn't her territory or place, but she couldn't help challenging Jay's decision as the voice of reason. She kept her tone calm and asked, "Do you think arresting her is going to solve anything?"
Jay's eyes flashed with frustration. "I'm trying to do what's best for her, and I thought this might...wake her up."
Erin glanced back toward the truck. Alex had stopped kicking the door at least, but the situation was still hanging by a thread. Erin knew she was walking a fine line, but Jay needed to hear this. "I get it. I really do. But her getting arrested by her brother? Having a rap sheet before she's 18…that's not the kind of wake-up call she needs. It's only going to push her further away."
Jay was about to snap back 'how would you know what she needs?!' but he managed to stop himself before the words came out. Of course. Erin had a much better handle on this situation than he did - she'd lived it years ago. He was drowning right now, barely keeping his head above water. He ran his hand through his hair, his fingers trembling slightly. His voice softened, edged with raw vulnerability. "I just... I don't know how to get through to her."
Erin placed a steady hand on his arm, offering some comfort. "She's still a kid, Jay. Scared, confused, trying to figure shit out. Throwing her in a cell isn't going to help. She needs you and she needs help - but not like this."
Jay let out a deep sigh, the weight of the situation crushing him. His anger was still simmering, but underneath it, the weight of responsibility and love for his sister was heavier. He glanced back at the truck, where his sister sat, and for the first time, his anger began to waver for a moment.
Could he really follow through with this?