Well I got some good feedback on the Shade chapters so that's neat hopefully this chapter does good too because now we are shifting perspectives for once. Sorry for taking over six months had a hard time determining how to write this chapter. Part of me wants to hate it mostly because I've been developing Spikes character a bit more but it feels necessary for a chapter like this. I really hope I don't screw this chapter up feedback is appreciated so enjoy.
P.S. this takes place after chapter nine but then picks up where we left off
Chapter 11: conflicting emotions (edits made August 2018)
Name: Shade
Pokemon: Absol
Gender: Female
"This doesn't change anything" Spike muttered, I could practically feel his resentment towards me as he turned around.
"Yes it does…" I barely managed to rebuke.
Spike stopped in his tracks for a split second, it was almost unnoticeable but he kept moving forward.
I couldn't stop staring at him as he walked off I barely gave him a second thought but he still helped me, I felt guilty for once. Part of me wanted to go up to him and repay him somehow or at least say sorry. But judging by his outburst earlier I don't think he would have been in the mood and honestly I don't blame him. I hurt him, badly everyday and I didn't even have a good reason. If anything I should have helped him get out of his shell or at least defend him whenever he got hurt after all I do know how it's like.
I practically shuddered when my father came into mind.
What always worried me was that he never fought back sure he'd cop out by doing a paralysis attack, but he never tried to hurt anyone. Whenever my father tried to hurt me I at least tried to fight back but Spike just took the beating to the point I started holding back a bit. "Maybe he was too afraid… or had a lack of training" I shook my head from those thoughts but I couldn't get him out my head. He's changed so much, he's become more social, he's not afraid to fight back anymore, not to mention he has a girlfriend now. Part of me wanted to laugh hysterically at that last part. I was kind of jealous to be honest he'd gotten thing I've yearned for years, companionship. Not with him of course- well don't get me wrong he is kind of cute, I kind of had a small crush on him way back then.
Um… A-as I was saying I just wanted a mate, I had my fair share of boyfriends in the past but none of them wanted a solid relationship well except one arcanine but he ended up moving up north junior year after just three months. Point is after high school I didn't really have anyone aside from Samuel who by the way is dead to me at this point, most of my "friends" either just stopped hanging around me or just moved away. I tried get up and walk but found it difficult to do so without feeling pain.
Samuel… that jerk, I just tried to break it off easy, we stopped seeing each other to the point it felt like we had no relationship.
My mind started to wander off until an image of Spike and I appeared for a split second we were cuddling together, he was nuzzling my cheek lovingly, I shook my head causing me to snap back to reality I shook my head violently. "What the hell was THAT?!" I thought franticallyMy face burned when the thought crossed my mind. I thought of his features how vibrant his fur is, his cute brown eyes.
"STOP IT! STOP IT! BAD BRAIN!"
"But don't you want a brave and handsome male as your mate? He saved you despite your history with him. He's practically your knight in shining armor." A part of me argued
"He has a girlfriend!" My other side snapped back.
"Herds aren't uncommon you know."
I blushed even harder.
"That's not the point... h-he'd never want to be with me because he hates me and there isn't a damned thing I can do about it" My face cooled down when that thought came to mind. I recalled what Spike had said earlier:
"Don't get me wrong you are probably the last person I'd ever spend my time with-"
He hates me…
It hurt to say those words but it's true and to make matters worse it's all my fault…
"Maybe I could still have a chance, try my best to make up for what I did. I owe him at least that, I'll do whatever it takes to gain his forgiveness and maybe by the end of it we could be friends or maybe more.
Two Days later (with Spike)
It was pretty early as of now Dawn was spending her time with her mother and is probably just barely mentioning me to her I was home just lying down and taking a good look at the scenery. I was tired but the sunlight was keeping me awake. "No reason to rest at this point" I yawned as I got up surprisingly with no pain. "What do ya' know I'm all healed up from the other day. I swear if im going to keep getting hurt like that I don't know what I'd do"
Got the day to myself, normally I'd consider it myself lucky but now it honestly feels a bit boring by myself, or maybe it's just Dawn rubbing off of me. It felt wrong in a way, I mean it feels like I'm changing, not in a bad way of course but it feels so uncanny. I'm usually the loner but now I got myself a girlfriend-
"Hey!"
I tensed up for a moment only to slump down in annoyance. "Oh Arceus why now" I practically groaned only to find Shade right outside my den. She was panting like she had just ran a marathon; wait how the hell did she find me?
"I-I just wanted to say thank you, for what you did for me I really appreciate it... I wanted to see if there was any way I could repay you." She panted in a rather nervous tone.
"Is that it? Because if it is you can pay me back by leaving me alone." I answered harshly. Even if she does want to apologize it doesn't change what she did.
"Wait! I know you don't want to see me, I wouldn't either, but all I want to do is talk…" She quickly responded. I cocked an eyebrow just for a moment only to sigh in displeasure. "Alright fine, five minutes but then you're out of here got it?"
Shade nodded in agreement.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry- what?" I stuttered.
"I said I'm sorry, I was selfish so self absorbed that I didn't care what I did. I hurt you badly and never even bothered to check if you were okay by the end of it! I'm sorry Spike,I know you must've hated it when you came to help me. I understand why you hate me so much but even so I want to start over with you."This was rather unexpected and to top it off Shade was tearing up I tried to find any traces of deception but found none.
"I don't hate you Shade…" I finally spoke.
"What?" She voiced with bewilderment.
"I did some thinking over the past few days,I hate what you did and the fact that you didn't stop. I know there is a good side to you you coming here and apologizing is living proof." I continued causing Shade to crack a small smile.
"D-Do you think we can start over… as friends
I sighed this was gonna be rough.
"No,
I don't think I can start over, I dont even know if I can forgive you for what you did. Personally I'd prefer it if we just leave each other alone." I answered truthfully. It was rude but it was the truth. I'd rather tell her that than lie and try to be friends with someone abused me.
"I understand... but I want to be more-" Shade stopped herself almost instantaneously.
What?
"What do you mean by that?" I questioned only to notice that her cheeks were reddening kind of like Dawn's.
Oh crap.
RED ALERT
RED ALERT
"Oh no, no, no…" I repeated, I felt like I was going to hyperventilate, this makes things complicated and I HATE complicated. "Shade I have a girlfriend not to mention the fact that I don't like you." I answered quickly backing away from shade slowly.
She visibly flinched when I said those words
"I know… but I-I haven't been able to shake this feeling off of me… not mention herds are common " She stuttered with a blush on her face.
Since when has she stuttered? She's always so confident in herself and in what she does. That's when it hit me.
"Wanna know what I think Shade? That feeling you have its infatuation you'll get over it. You're not in love with me, you love what I did for you but not me." I answered with a frown on my face.
Shades expression fell as she stared on the ground for some time only to turn into anger
"I KNOW WHAT INFATUATION IS DAMN IT! I know what I feel and I can't change that!" She suddenly exploded with angry tears streaming down her cheeks only to gain her composure once again. Not gonna lie for a second there I thought she was going to hit me. "I'm sorry, but even if it takes me a million years I'll earn your forgiveness" Shade responded as she gave me a look of determination.
But I on the other hand wasn't as enthusiastic.
"Just get the hell out of here..." I muttered.
Surprisingly enough she listened, she flinched for a moment before walking away with her head held low.
To be continued
That's it for Shades arc for now or if you guys and gals don't want to see any more of it. Sorry for the long wait but this one took a month to draft and even longer to finish. Personally I don't know how to feel about the entire herd idea but I seem to be leaning away from it let me know what you think. Some may say that Spike is kind of rude in this chapter but I think it makes sense for his character considering what shade did to him. Anyways I'll try to update Remember Me? Next see ya next time!
-The Ultimate Spiderman