AN: The Snapes are preparing for Christmas, and thinking about gifts for each other. Find out what happens when the children want to see Santa at a muggle mall, Severus gets held up at a jewelry store, and Hermione starts snooping around the closet. Will it be a Happy Christmas, or will the chaos prove too much to handle?

Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!

Raquel Garcia never envisioned herself working at an apothecary. Potions had been a subject at which she excelled, but she enjoyed Arithmancy more. It's why she chose it as her college major. When she'd first taken her job at the Snape's apothecary, she could only see herself working there through her time at the university. Then she would find a more challenging career, thankful for the experience she'd gained and the memories she made.

One thing she had not taken into account when accepting her job was how much she'd grow to respect her employer, how much she'd grow to admire his wife, and how much she'd grow to care for their children.

Her feelings towards the Snapes surprised her, especially when she reflected on what she had been told about them. When she'd first taken the job at the apothecary, the patrons at The Leaky Cauldron had warned her that Severus Snape was a surly, snarly, dour, and in every way unappealing man. How he managed to seduce a woman was beyond them, but they were sure copious amounts of alcohol were involved. They swore after a night of intoxicated seduction, his wife had trapped him into marriage with a child he did not want, something which only exacerbated his already terrible outlook on life. The poor woman had to be beaten down by his sharp tongue. When she fought back, the arguments lasted for hours, keeping their children awake. Of course, Severus paid no attention to any of his children, since he hated children, something his wife resented him for. How he'd managed to have three children was beyond anyone's comprehension. There must have been alcohol and hate sex involved, nights which Mr. And Mrs. Snape both regretted. Indeed, the Snapes' marriage was a disaster which was only held together by the fear of being alone and the fear of losing their full fortune.

"And I am telling you Joni Mitchell is a fine singer, one I happen to enjoy deeply ." Severus leaned against the apothecary counter, unable to hide the gleam in his eyes.

"I have no idea how you can listen to her," Hermione answered, mirroring his expression. "Her voice isn't appealing to me in the slightest."

"What do you mean? Her voice is very appropriate for the genre for which she sings."

"Perhaps, but I've never been a fan of 70's folk music. I can't stand more than ten minutes of it."

"That is unfortunate for you given how many excellent songs you do not hear."

"You mean how many droning vocals I have the good fortune to miss." She huffed.

"Sometimes you have to go beyond the vocals. You are missing powerful words, such as the melancholy of Both Sides Now," Severus noted.

"Please don't remind me of that song," Hermione groaned. "I had to listen to Both Sides Now four times in a row in a muggle bar once because a man drunk out of his mind wouldn't stop pulling it up on the jukebox. The bartender finally had to pull him away. I didn't know whether to cry from the lyrics or from how much pain hearing a song I hated again and again was causing me."

"Both reasons would have been an acceptable reason to shed a tear, though I do appreciate a good sad song every once in awhile."

"You may appreciate Both Sides Now far away from me then."

"I will be sure to go onto a deserted island the next time I get an urge to listen to Joni Mitchell."

"That would be deeply appreciated."

Raquel covered her mouth and giggled. Some of her favorite days at work involved Hermione stopping by with the Snape children, teasing her husband and bringing out a side of him few had ever seen. Nobody believed her when she said he was capable of smiling. If only they knew who Severus Snape truly was...

"I like Joni Mitchell," Rose called from a few feet away.

Raquel turned her attention to the three children in front of the Christmas Specials aisle. Rose had her toy snake in one hand, The Beginner's Guide to Potions in the other. Beside her, Victor was showing his infant sister how to make a snowman out of cotton balls. Violet stared at him from her bounce seat, wondering if she dared to reach out for one of those cotton balls and stick it in her mouth.

"I'm very glad you do," Hermione turned to Rose, "It is good for you to like things I do not. That encourages independence, which is a trait you should foster."

"I am independent, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't like her."

"Yes, but not everyone likes the same things."

"Why don't you like her? Have you tried her enough?"

"Tried her enough?" Hermione drawled.

"Yes," Rose began imitating her mother's tone of voice when she was cross with her, "If you don't like something, you need to try it again. Nobody will ever be upset with you if you try things enough times, even if you only take a little. So long as you aren't hurt you should keep trying."

"I was talking about food, not music. There's a difference."

"Indeed there is," Severus added.

"Oh." Rose blinked. "But not trying something anymore because you hate it could work for food, right?"

"Past a certain age I suppose so," Severus admitted.

"How old do I have to be in order to stop eating carrots then?" Rose scowled. "I keep trying them, and I still hate them. I don't want to try them anymore."

"When you're told enough to cook your own food then you never need to eat carrots again," Hermione answered.

"Or I can have the elves not give them to me."

Hermione gritted her teeth as her muscles tensed.

"We aren't having carrots tonight, are we?" Rose asked, oblivious to her mother's change in demeanor.

"I hope not. I don't want carrots," Victor looked up. "I want pizza."

"Why? We had pizza last night," Severus answered.

"I know, but it was good and I want it again."

"We'll discuss dinner later. For now, we need to close the store."

"Okay," the Snape children replied.

"But I still don't want carrots," Rose argued.

"And I still want pizza, only this time with onions and mushrooms. I love onions and mushrooms."

Severus groaned and shook his head.

Raquel couldn't suppress this laugh, especially once she saw the Snape children staring at her, their expressions matching that of their parents when they were puzzled. Once Severus and Hermione looked at their children, they couldn't help but smile as well.

Raquel caught her breath and took note of the apothecary. Boughs of holly and evergreens were hung from the ceiling. Every few aisles there was an elegant cheerful snowman on top of the shelves. On the aisles without a snow man, there were small Christmas tress atop the shelves. Even the store letters had been changed from their usual gold and green to red and green.

Mrs. Snape had worked magic with this place. Her husband had expressed his approval several times, even going so far as to say she was the only person who could make him love a holiday dedicated to gaudy tinsel and off-key caroling.

"We may have to table what kind of music to play in the store until after the holidays," Severus began before turning to Hermione. "As brilliant as your spell to power a muggle radio with magic is, I fear we didn't consider what we would play, nor did we consider which CDs to select."

"Perhaps," Hermione replied. "Though hopefully the Christmas music we can pull in will add to the atmosphere."

"So long as we do not play the same song fifty times a day I think I can endure it with my sanity intact," Severus grumbled.

"There's no need to appear so sullen. Listening to Christmas music all day, hearing the same old songs, singing along to lyrics you know, are some of the highlights of the season."

"You've never worked in retail, have you?" Raquel's face fell and the memory of wandering a muggle mall, seeing the employers ready to strangle themselves with the garland.

"No," Hermione admitted.

"Yet something tells me even twenty replays of Last Christmas wouldn't be enough to darken her spirit," Severus put a hand on her shoulder.

"Nope, and trust me," Hermione lowered her voice and moved closer, "No song could be as obnoxious as The Wiggles' Where's Jeff being replayed twenty times."

"Are The Wiggles on?" Victor asked, his eyes wide.

"No, they're only on at Grandma and Grandpa's house," Severus answered before muttering, "thank God."

"Aw," Victor shook his head and put the finishing touches on his snowman.

"As I said," Hermione grinned. "I can tolerate listening to a Christmas song fifty times. So long as music makes someone happy, I can endure it."

"Even if it's Joni Mitchell?" Severus asked.

"Don't push your luck."

"I would never think to do such a thing," Severus kissed the top of her head.

Raquel couldn't help but smile. For all the rumors surrounding her employer, he was a sweet man who deeply loved his family, holiday cheer at all.

Severus wondered why Hermione believed it would be a good idea to take their children to a crowded mall on a Saturday afternoon for the sole purpose of seeing Santa Claus. Unlike the Father Christmas he'd grown up with, Australian Santa Claus would be in shorts and sandals. There wouldn't even be a reindeer! How could it be Christmas without a trace of snow?

Sometimes Severus didn't know why he let his in-laws talk him into these kinds of things. Muriel and Wilford swore seeing Australian Santa would be a nice bonding experience for the Snape family. They had taken Hermione to see Father Christmas every year, and they had many pleasant memories of it. It was such a bonding experience with so many pleasant memories that Grandma and Grandpa Granger conveniently attended a euchre tournament that afternoon and would be unable to see them until dinner.

Amidst the chaos and inevitable side trips into toy stores, the Snapes had found a place to sit and eat some sandwiches. Unfortunately, the sandwiches came with medium sized fizzy drinks, fizzy drinks much larger than he felt comfortable having any child gulp down.

Which meant of course, Rose and Victor were having a competition to see who could drink theirs faster. Brain freeze was of no concern to them, nor was standing in line dancing around when Santa was still a twenty minute wait away.

"You two need to slow down," Severus warned. "You're going to need to go to the bathroom soon if you drink too much."

"Yes, and you'll have a sugar and caffeine crash later if you drink too much," Hermione warned.

"But I feel fine right now," Rose answered.

"Now yes, but you don't want to have a full bladder when you see Santa, do you?" Hermione asked.

The children shook their heads.

"Then consider slowing down and saving some fizzy drink for later," Hermione finished.

"Indeed, your mother is wise in telling you to drink more slowly," Severus answered. "Especially because I don't know where the restrooms are. They may be quite far away for all we know."

"Don't worry," Hermione leaned closer and replied in a soft voice, "I know exactly where they are. The first thing I look for in any place is the restroom."

"I know," he answered in a low voice. "But they don't always grasp how prepared you are in any situation, something we can use to our advantage if we want them to stop drinking so we can get this Santa thing done and over with."

"True," she moved away from him.

"Mum?" Rose asked.

"Yes?"

"Why can't Violet have a fizzy drink?"

"Because babies will get too hyper from the sugar and the caffeine."

"But Violet is already too hyper because she cries so much."

"And if you don't want her to cry anymore you won't give her a fizzy drink."

"Okay."

As if on cue, Violet opened one sleepy, black eye. Severus glanced at her, bracing himself for the inevitable.

Violet looked at Hermione before hiccuping. Then she paused, as if deciding her next move. After her stomach constricted, she burst into tears.

Victor and Rose gagged as they slid away from Violet. Hermione sighed as she picked up her daughter. "I should've known it was time for you to wake up and leave us all a nasty surprise."

"Indeed," Severus replied.

Hermione stood. "If you want, you can get us a spot in line for Santa Claus."

"We could," Severus answered before standing. "Or we could browse the stores for awhile longer."

"Oh?" She asked above Violet's screeches. "I thought you wanted out of here as soon as possible."

"Yes, but we still have some time. There's a CD store the children were looking at earlier. We were considering looking for a present for Wilford and Muriel there."

Hermione glanced at her children. Both of them beamed and nodded.

"Fine," Hermione sighed before grabbing Violet's nappie bag. "I'll meet you there."

"Bye Mum," The children waved as Hermione rushed away with Violet.

"I thought Violet would never wake up in time," Rose answered once Hermione had disappeared.

"I feared she would sleep too long too," Severus admitted.

"Yeah, the one time we want her to wake up she stays asleep," Victor noted.

"All that being said," Severus grinned. "Let's go to the jewelry store we passed on the way here. If we're lucky, we can find something for your mother within a timely manner and buy it before she realizes where we are."

"Okay," The children got up.

"Grab your garbage and collect it. We'll throw it all away and go buy your mother an amazing Christmas present."

The children happily complied.

Like all of Severus' best plans, everything went quite well in the beginning. After browsing the glass case for a few moments, Severus found a golden necklace with a sapphire otter as a pendant. There also was not much of a line, another point in his favor. Provided that Violet could be fussy enough to keep Hermione distracted for a few more minutes, they could be in the CD store before Hermione ever suspected they were anywhere else.

"The otter necklace is a fine choice," the sale's clerk answered with a glisten in his eyes, the same glisten Dumbledore had when he was devising a plan Severus was bound to hate. "Tell me, who is it for?"

"My wife," Severus glanced backwards. So far, no sign of Hermione. Good. Provided this man could hurry up and box this everything would work out fine. They'd already paid, so all he needed to do was put the jewelry in the box so they could put it in a bag and leave.

"It's clear from the way you talk about her and the way your eyes light up when you mention her that you love her very much," he put the necklace into a silver box.

"I do," Severus' chest warmed at the image of Hermione's eyes lighting up when she opened the gift.

"For that reason, you must put it in the perfect package." This sale's clerk reminded him more of Dumbledore with each passing moment. Even if the man's hair was gray and his pinstripe suit muggle, there was something about him which was bound to give Severus a migraine.

"I don't want to pay extra for anything," Severus replied. "Therefore I don't need another box."

"Oh no, the gift wrapping is complimentary. You need it to impress your wife."

"No, my wife will be impressed with the necklace as it is. All you need to do is put the box in a bag so we can leave."

"Oh no, this gift deserves to be given in style."

"My wife's style is just opening a package so she can get on with her Christmas morning."

"And let me guess, you wrap it in black wrapping paper."

"I'll have you know that black wrapping paper is elegant and tasteful, which my wife and I appreciate."

"You appreciate it, but I can guarantee she doesn't," the salesperson continued.

"How would you know what my wife does and does not like? You've never met her."

"I know what women like, which is a skill you seem to lack. Don't you fear though. We'll put your necklace in a bag, but we'll also have to spice up that bag," the man pulled out a small bag with golden stripes on it.

"Fine, put it int the small bag so we can put it in the big bag so we can go."

"No, no, you don't understand," he put the box in the bag. "You have to make the bag special. It must be be an experience for her."

"I'm experiencing the biggest headache I've had in years," Severus muttered.

Rose and Victor glanced at each other.

"Listen, my wife understands that I find her irresistible without putting things in fancy bags," Severus answered as the man opened a drawer. "What are you doing?"

"As I've said, giving a woman necklace such as this needs to be an experience." He pulled out a handful of dried rose leaves, cinnamon, and herbs, the scent of which churned Severus' stomach.

"I am telling you, she does not need all this," Severus argued. "All she wants is to open her present so she can move on with the rest of her day."

"From the way you talk, it sounds as if you care little for your wife."

"Of course I care for my wife. I love her more than I've ever loved any woman. She's the only woman who's made my life tolerable on any level," Severus answered, the last words coming out softer than he intended. "But she's a simple woman who doesn't need scents to have a wonderful Christmas experience. If anything, she'll be irritated that all of this stuff is going to be difficult to remove from the carpet."

"Daddy," Victor tugged on his cape.

"What?" He kept his tone even.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Victor whispered.

"What did you say?" Severus drawled.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Victor's voice was louder.

Rose looked at him before nodding. "I have to go to the bathroom too."

He exhaled. "I told both of you not to drink your fizzy drinks so fast, lest this happen."

"I know, but I have to go now," Victor insisted.

"I do too," Rose whined.

"When will the man hurry up so we can go?"

"I don't know," Severus gave him a pointed look. "I would like to know the same thing."

"Aw, but we haven't found the perfect box," the sale's clerk continued.

"I don't care about a box!" Victor began dancing. "I have to go to the bathroom, and I can't go alone! I need you to stop wrapping the present so we can go!"

"I know," the man was taking far too long to search the back for a box. "But we have to give your mother something beautiful. We want her to have beautiful things, don't we?"

"I want to go to the bathroom!" Victor whined.

"Listen, I don't know if you have children," Severus hissed. "But if these two need to go to the bathroom then they need to go now."

"Patience is a virtue, something they will learn over time," he grabbed a golden box. "Aw yes, if we put this in some beautiful red wrapping paper, your wife will love it."

"Severus?"

Severus' stomach sank.

"Severus, what are you doing here?" Hermione approached them.

"I wanted a pinky ring, but Dad wouldn't let me get one." Rose stomped over to Hermione.

"That is disappointing, but what is he doing now?"

"It doesn't matter! I need to pee!"

"You do," Hermione took a deep breath as she patted Violet's back.

Rose nodded.

"Can you hold it?"

"No! I need to go now!" Rose yelled.

"Fine, let's go," Hermione sighed and led her daughter to the restroom, a clucking Violet in her arms.

"There," the man finished wrapping the present. "I know your wife will love it."

"I'm sure she will," Severus took Victor's hand and led him away.

"Daddy?"

"Yes," he grumbled.

"I'm sorry Operation Restroom didn't work."

"Wait," he stopped. "You never had to use the restroom?"

"No, and I don't think Rose did either," he admitted. "But you once said that a real person knows when a child has to go to the bathroom, they'll hurry things up so they can go. I thought he'd hurry up if he thought we were having an emergency. I'm really sorry it didn't work."

"There's no need to apologize," Severus' lips curled up. "I'm just happy that you've displayed your Slytherin instincts."

"I learned from you, and I am your son," his expression matched his father's.

"Indeed you are," Severus replied. "Since you've displayed such Slytherin instincts, I think a reward is in order."

"Oh?"

"Yes, right now you are using the restroom because we have to be convincing. Yet when we get home, I'm giving you your mother's present. Do you think you can find a place to hide it from her?"

"Yes," he folded his hands and nodded.

"Good," He rubbed Victor's shoulder. "Make sure it isn't a place where she will snoop for it."

"I know, she's a snoop, but she'll never look in the bottom of the stuffed animal box."

"That is a ingenious idea."

"Thank you," Victor grinned, quite pleased with himself.

Hermione didn't mean to be a nosey Gryffindor, she really didn't. Still, the elves deserved a break, not matter how much they protested the time off. That meant she'd need to clean for them. If she happened to catch a peek at something her husband planned to give her for Christmas, well, she couldn't be blamed for hitting the vacuum against the closet like so.

Such a happy accident occurred the day after their trip to the mall.

When Hermione hit the wall, a small rectangular object fell. She picked it up, only to have her stomach sink upon seeing what it was.

Joni Mitchell's Greatest Hits

She blinked, her mind racing for some kind of explanation. Severus wasn't one for gag gifts, and he wouldn't embarrass her on Christmas morning for the sake of a cheap joke. His presents were always well thought out and meaningful. Why would he give her something he knew she would hate?

Unless he wasn't the one who planned to give her the gift.

Hermione took a deep breath as the events of the last few days unfolded before her. Rose was insistent Hermione would love Joni Mitchell if only she tried listening to her. It was conceivable that once inside the CD store, Rose would persuade her father to buy the CD to give to her mother. Granted, Severus would try to dissuade her, but he wasn't one to squash his children's ideas, especially if they were expressing their individuality. No, if Rose wanted to buy it and agreed to use her own money, Severus would allow her to do so. Since Rose needed a place to hide it, Severus would put it in the closet and hope Hermione didn't find it.

Hermione returned the CD to where she'd found it. Then, she braced herself for a Christmas morning filled with music she despised.

For her children. For her children she'd pretend to enjoy it. For her children, she'd smile through the depressing, droning guitar. For her children she would dance with their father to the music, making sure they created wonderful Christmas memories.

Hermione loved the way the Christmas lights twinkled in the apothecary. It had taken her a couple of years to get the spell right so it would illuminate the lights without blowing up the bulbs. Still, she had done it. Now all she needed to do was help her husband close the apothecary for Christmas break.

"Before you go Raquel," Severus pulled out a package and handed it to her. "We want to give you this in addition to your yearly bonus."

"Oh thank you," Raquel beamed. "You didn't have to give me anything."

"Nonsense," Severus answered. "You are a wonderful employee who deserves to have her hard work rewarded."

"Well thank you," Raquel tore the gift open. Then, she grinned. "Why thank you. I deeply appreciate this copy of A Christmas Carol. I've never read it, so I'm eager to do so over the holidays."

"Everyone should read A Christmas Carol at least once in their lives," Hermione answered, readjusting Violet in her arms. "We thought you deserved to do so."

"Indeed, and this," Severus pulled out another package. "Is from us as well."

"It is?" Hermione mouthed.

He smirked as he handed the square package to Raquel.

Hermione's mind raced as she attempted to decipher what on earth her husband would give his employee, and why he wouldn't tell her about it.

Raquel burst out laughing after she tore off the last of the wrapping paper. "I see what's going on."

"What?" Severus had the most innocent expression possible.

"Mum, what's going on?" Rose asked as she and Victor approached the counter.

"You want me to settle your little dispute," Raquel held up Joni Mitchell's Greatest Hits.

"It's the CD Mum won't try!" Rose exclaimed.

"Yes," Hermione drawled. "It is."

"You may listen to it at your leisure and tell us how you feel about it," Severus continued. "Then we can decide if it will go into the rotation of music for the new year, assuming Hermione isn't coming in for a visit. If that is the case we will change it"

"Thank you," Raquel smiled. "I'll be sure to let you know how I feel about it."

Hermione continued to stare at her husband, wide eyed.

"There's no need to look at me like that, Love," Severus's smirk grew. "After all, snoopers rarely get the full story."

"Mum was snooping?" Victor asked.

"I was cleaning," Hermione answered. She glanced at a speck of dust on the floor, her face becoming red. "It happened to drop. I had to take a peek at it so I could return it to its proper place."

"Mum was being bad," Rose snickered.

Hermione looked up and gave them a sheepish smile.

"No, she was just being the overly curious woman I love," he brushed his lips against those of his wife.

"I should've known you wouldn't have ever bought something I hated so much for Christmas, but if you didn't get that for me then…" her voice trailed off.

"You'll have to wait until Christmas morning to see your gift, just as everyone else does."

"So I will," she conceded, relieved that at least she wouldn't be listening to 70's folk rock on the happiest day of the year.

"Severus, this box," Hermione stared at the blinding red shiny wrapping paper in front of her. "Is very bright."

"Indeed it is," he frowned.

"I, uh, didn't think you wrapped presents like this." Hermione scooted closer to him on the couch.

"He didn't," Victor crawled out from under the tree. "The sale's clerk made him wrap it that way."

"He did?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It's a very long story, one I don't intend to share at the moment," Severus answered.

"Okay," she unwrapped the present and opened the box. Then, she inhaled the scent of cinnamon, herbs, and roses. "This has an interesting aroma."

"Isn't it enough to make you nauseous?" Severus asked.

"No, I enjoy it, but," she undid the top of the package. "It's going to get all over the sofa. I didn't think you'd appreciate that."

"Trust me, I don't," he answered.

"Then why did you put all this potpourri in there?"

"He didn't," Rose answered.

"Right, the store's clerk made him," Hermione turned to Severus. "What kinds of threats did he make in order to get you to consent to this?"

"He wouldn't let me take the children to the restroom until he was finished."

"Ooh, that is a powerful threat," Hermione pulled out the silver box. "Merlin this is like one of those Russian dolls. I expect at least ten more boxes after this."

"I assure you, this is the last package."

"I should hope so." She opened it before gasping. Her eyes teared up. "Oh Severus, I love it."

"I had hoped you would," Severus leaned closer to her. "The second I saw it was a sapphire otter, I knew it was perfect for you."

"I love it," She embraced her husband, oblivious to the petals, herbs, and cinnamon all over her couch. "But not nearly as much as I love the children and you."

"We all love you too." Severus captured her lips.

Hermione reveled in the feeling of her body against his.

For the Snapes, it was a very Happy Christmas indeed.

So I was going through a rough patch and needed a little holiday fluff in my life! I figured it's after Halloween, my city is decorating their big Christmas tree, the local stores have out all their decorations, so why not join in the holiday festivities?

Also, I've always wanted to do a version of Love Actually with the Snapes, so I figured I'd give this a go. Obviously I changed a bit, but I hope it was fun all the same.

Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!