Chapter 18

Dawns Pov

I left my mothers home with a giant blush on my face, it had been a while since I had last seen her. She was pretty floored by the fact that I was seeing someone again when I had last spoken to her. Originally she was pretty opposed to the idea given my last relationship. But when I told her it was Spike she changed her tune, she immediately wanted to know everything. I pretty much could never keep a secret from mom growing up. It's like she could read my mind or maybe I'm just a terrible liar. Naturally she already knew about Spike, how he comforted me after the most traumatic experience in my life and how my evolution followed after that. I guess she respects him as much as I do in that regard.

But this visit I had to emphasize the fact that we were not official yet much to my mother's dismay. She was already getting way ahead of herself asking if we had plans of getting married soon by the time I had burst her bubble. Honestly i've never blushed harder in my life when she asked that.

"Would he even want that down the line? because I would… I would marry him…"

Great, now I'm getting way ahead of myself…

The experience was kinda humiliating if I'm being honest but mom seemed to understand after my explanation. At first she was upset saying that he probably thought He was "too good" for me, honestly the thought of him having an ego that big was pretty funny to think about. I pretty much had to give his life story to her. I hope he doesn't mind but from the looks of it she seemed to empathize with his life story so hopefully it'll help him leave a good impression with mom.

Funnily enough I actually ended up getting scolded after I told her, mom thinks that I was moving way too fast at first, I do agree but in my defense I didn't know how bad his social issues were at first. The way my mom sees it is that fate brought us together, that we're practically soul mates… I personally don't really believe in stuff like that but seeing how everything had unfolded it really makes you think.

I let my mom know I wasnt as close as I wanted to be with him. Strangely she said dad was the same way when they first met only worse she apparently couldn't even get him to speak. Although I wouldn't be surprised if she was lying to make me feel better, besides dad was a social butterfly when I was around him even if I didn't really get to have a lot of time with him.

…

I'm getting off topic again, I was on my way to see if Spike was doing alright and to see if shade was making any progress on recovery. I felt terrible not being at his side, I practically was able to feel his guilt when I last spoke to him but I knew he wasn't going to let me help too much with this. I mean I did help a little, I tried my best with those herbs but I'm not too sure they worked. But I know he blames himself for this, it really isn't his fault no matter how much he tries to say it is.

Honestly I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel bad for shade either even if she is a piece of work its… not satisfying to watch someone you dislike suffer like that. The sun was starting to set as I got there. The first thing I noticed was how exhausted Spike looked his eyes were bloodshot as he stared at shades unconscious form, i got worried and ran up to his side.

"shes ok now… shes ok…" he murmured leaving me relieved that they were both okay. His eyes widened as he looked up at me, his cheeks reddened before he backed away, stammering a bunch as if he just realized I got here. I giggled in response, I honestly loved how shy he could be sometimes, it makes my heart melt every time but this wasn't the time to melt. "Spike are you okay? you look exhausted," I asked while rubbing his cheek with a ribbon. He seemed so tense I really hope I wasn't pushing any boundaries again.

"I- uh everything is fine, I kinda had a one on one conversation with Shade…I think I got the closure I needed, I even forgave her in the end. its- just a lot to unpack yknow… shes had it rough about as rough as me…" he replied with a yawn, I was curious to hear more but I could also tell he was struggling to stay awake. "why haven't you slept hun?" I asked softly resulting in a light blush from him.

"I slept in a little this morning plus I promised I would wake her up, she wouldn't sleep otherwise. honestly i think she might have some ptsd from her coma or something, i'm not sure… I dont want to leave her alone because I don't know if she'll try something stupid again" he replied with concern written all over his face only for him to place a paw on his face. "Oh Arceus…" He murmured as if the gravity of the situation just hit him again prompting me to hug him closer.

Arceus… I had a feeling this was self inflicted but hearing him confirm it just made my blood run cold. He felt stuck and at fault… this situation was just so messed up. He held onto me tightly he was practically trembling. "I don't know what else to do dawn…"

…

"This isn't your fault spike…" I whispered softly his warm fur practically sent chills down my spine. "I-I know… I guess all I feel right now is pity despite the bad blood. It makes me wish i could do more but I know that I can't... I can't give her what she wants from me, not even friendship its just too much… I can't trust her even if she has changed, if did befriend her I feel like i'd have to keep a pair of eyes on my back" He replied while struggling to keep his eyes open.

"You've done more than enough for now Spike, please just rest, you can wake her up after you rest" i whispered before kissing his cheek, he tried to protest but i wasn't having any of it.

"Dawn?"

yes?

"I think Im… I think… I-

He fell asleep much to my disappointment. Part of me was hoping he would say those three words I've been longing to hear but it's unlikely… at least right now. gotta remember what mom said baby steps… But on the other hand I could cuddle him all I want right now if I really wanted to…

I wrapped my arms around him before nuzzling him affectionately, back then he'd be so tense anytime I'd try to embrace him but now hes much more accepting for affection. As I snuggled up to him I gently scratched his fur only to accidentally graze a scar underneath his coat causing him to wince in his sleep. I immediately shifted my paws in response as only to be met with more scars. I couldn't help but put a paw over my mouth as I realized how many he has.

"he forgave her…"

It hurt to hear him open up about being neglected as a child. I knew he had it rough but never to that extent. The fact he endured all that and the person who enabled it was sleeping nearby me was upsetting to say the least.

But my anger was nothing compared to the pit in my stomach, this was my fault, I told him to talk to her for closure and I never took a moment to really stop and consider how this would affect him, I also never stopped to consider if I was putting him in harm's way. She hurt him badly, without the benefit of hindsight I could've easily led him to get hurt by her again… I know he forgave her but there's a reason why he didn't befriend her... Hopefully this situation ends soon and all three of us can move on from this.

"I'm sorry for the role I played into this… I love you spike… Ill be sure to give you all the affection you deserve and some… good night…" I whispered softly before kissing his forehead gently.

My face warmed up as I felt him unconsciously nuzzle up to me, I tightened my embrace before resting myself. My heart raced I felt happy at the fact that hes much more open to me now than he ever was with anyone in the past. I did feel a little self conscious considering shade was here but she was also asleep.

Besides I can't let her think i'm willing to share him.

to be continued

sorry about the slow updates had multiple emergencies in the past year since the previous chapter's upload date. the chapter had been done months ago but im still kinda just processing everything at the moment (I really hope i proofread this enough). as far as other stories are concerned there basically cancelled especially Remember Me? (I legitimately don't know what I was thinking while writing it). minus this one of course i stuck to it this long im staying to the end

-the ultimate spiderman